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TRI-WEERLI?. . W. A. LeSIEUR, Publisheral Journal o the it L..JAMTRHEMSKI, Editor. 18il o the City and aParisal.TnWog - VOL. 3. BATON ROUGE, LOUISIANA, SATURDAY, JULY 9, 188L . ATTORNEYS. ' (C. HIRD, ATTORNEY AT LAW. Will '* attend promptly to all business intrusted to him. Otlice on Convention street, between Third and Church streets. Baton Rouge, La. 4 W. POPE, ATToRNEY AT LAW and 1. Notary Public, Port Allen, West Baton Rouge, La. Special attention given to the col lection of accounts, taking testnimony under com mission, and to all other matters requiring the attention of an Attorney or Notary in the parish of West Baton Rouge. apr24 v'nl13 rpHOS. B. DUPREE, ATTORNEY Sand Connselor at Law. Office-No. 6, Pike's Row, Baton Rouge, La. Will practice in the State and Federal Courts. H ERRON &1 BEALE, AT'ORoEus$ and CoUNELoRs ATLAW. Office on North Boulevard street, near the post office, Baton Rouge, La. Will attend to all law basi ness entrusted to them in this and adjoining parishes. A. 8. HIerron..... ..........L. D. Beale. 1AVROT & LAMON, Arroa . $ys AT LAW. Office on North Boulevard street, Baton Rouge, La. Will attend to all law business entrusted to them in this and ad. joining parishes. H. M. Favrot........ ....J. H. Lamon. L' W. & S. M. ROBERTSON. '* Attorneys and Counselors at Law. Office on North Boulevard street, Baton Rouge, La. Will pr;u:tice in the Seventeenth and Eighteenth .Jndicial Districts. E. W. IRobertson.........S. M. Robertson. G EIO. W. BUCKNER, Attorney LT st Law and Notary Public, Baton Rouge, La. Business promptly attended to. H S. LANG, ATTORNEY AND COUNSELOR * At Law, Donaldsonville, La. Will prac tice in all the courts of the State of Louisiana. LOCAL DIRECTORY. OIN (GASS, dealer in western produce, to. J hacco, cigars, dry goods, clothing, corner of St. Ferdinand and Europe streets. JOHN GARVIN, general steamboat, forward ) ing and shipping agent, Front street. J ADOT & VAY, auctioneers, commission merchants, office and salesroon on Third, be. tween Laurel and Florida streets. M RS. P. KAUFMAN, dealer in dry goods, fancy and family groceries, crockeryware and tinware, Main street. GEORGE N. BUCHEL, dealor in family gro ceries, liquors, dry goolds and plantation supplies, corner Main and Jackson streets. G P'ICARD, New Orleans cheap store, dealer Sin dry goods, Laurel street, between La layette and Third. L OC'AS LITTY, dealer in fruits and conleec Stionerios of all kind,, nuts, rtc.. corner of Third and Laurel streets. G1& B. ENOCHS, tombstones, mausoleums, nl monuments. tombs, bead and ifoot stones, Main street, next to P'iper's. SMELIELSOIIN, dealer in staple and tlncy )* gioc'ries. lIluor+. tollaccro, etc., corner of ini and Lat.n ette t Iets. J STEENSEN, Druggist, dealer indrug, mnodi cines, chemicals, cigars, tiunc and toilet articles. Third street. ROSENFIELD, dealer in dry goods, ready A made clothing, boots and shoes, hats andi caps, all of the latest styles. ANDREW JACKSON, Cotton Boyer, and dealer in groceries and plantationaupplies, northeast corner of Main and Third streets. DR. B C. DUPREE, dentist. Office or Main street, between Fifth and Church. NICHOLAS WAX, whi leeale and retail gro" car, dealer in plantation supplies. lancy andl staple groceries, wines, liquors, crockery, cut !erlv, cigars and tobacco, St. Louis street. SG. RANDOLI'PH, wholesale and retail Vigrocer, and dealer in western produce, wines and liquors, Main street JOSHUA BEAL, Family Grocer, dealer in Sfancy groceries, canned Ifruits and every arti tie needed in the household, corner Third and ILaurel streets. SI MJItGE 11. WILSON, dealer in westeru G produce, groceries, plantation supplies, saddll ry, harness, corner Third and Conven tion streets. JOIN .. WAX, ldealer in fancy and staple groceries, liquors, cigars, tobacco and Coim fctnneriea, St. Ferdinand street S.. CA '1)E VIELLE, dealer in grocerines and Sliquors and ear corn, lime, hoop-pole and tfat-buat agent, Friiint street. L'DW. WITTLING, dealer tn fancy and staple groceries., fruits aind confectioneries, ci ears, smoking tobacco, Third street. Xj CIIAM'lERS . Stationer.dealer in station 1 ery, books. cutlery. Violin and Guitar trings, andi fashlion papers. Third street. SOUISIANA CAI'ITOLIAN Hook anit Job J'rinting establishment. on Third street, is otie of the umost complete in the State. IJ PHILIP BOTT, proprietor of listcarck Sai " loon and Lager Beer House, corner St. Louis andt North lBounlevard streets. ( A Ill hES WIECK,proprietorSumter louise / iieaier in the finest wines, litquors and cigars t' ie-r Third and Laurel streets. 117 . C;LUVER:IUS, D)ruggist, BugEcl's old s tand. dealer in drtiga, nmedicitnes, cutlery soup, garden sned and faticy articles. LE .1. BRiOOKS, Diruggist. dealer ii tdhugs aind L' inledlinesof e-vety kindt . -cigars, smolkiting to. lia co. iltleri, etc., }. aiin street. ) . l)DAY, piropl itor Ile lti tc k Dirug Store. 1) er, cointautly on ihatil a till aswirtttinet of drugs Mid mtedic'it ". onutlr .Mica andi Sot n..rils str re't;. I I'lEi'LM : lAN, dealer iIn Dryi Gols aind u tistnos fashionabh styles of reads' made othming, ihas ts iiithand shil. Main -tret. RS. .1. M1. PARKER, dtaler~i aN .iliner'y ant! .i1 Drv hioods anl fancy article, of aill ii, rliptis, Mlain street. SOllN JIliNSON. watcumiaker and t jeweler, P 1e-tr in jewlrhy. silver wlue, picttre' and utitre I, une,-. tiitd strett. LEXANBIE B iOLCH1V proprietoriif th S'spital Illeoes. IBoiuII by the dllay. week ior umouth, with tlhe bet I.the market atfords. UjSEPl I LA t1UIElt, dealer in foreillign and +1 dotteili I hartdwre, house Iturnishing goods, lot fire Third and Florids streets 1 6lSSEELLY, Civil andI Military TaLilor, J i Latest styles. Third Street. 4 .1. WILLIAMS, manufartiurer of steanm 1 trains, strike pans, lboilers srt1 tanks, alid all kinds of suigar house wv:lrk, it nir of Slain anld Front streets, near the Irl'y landing. W ILI [1AlI GESELL, worker ii tiin,copper tril I .rlnk'ry iarte, cr.- Tli ri i.I lotrida. K} . I IN Elunge Oil W,,t-ks, nianuhacture ('II 13rr can'~ -sedil, oil cake, c~ottoni wcedl ineal air~lll, ~l~li ok, mn~ clr ' I -ii ira; Frolt street. A l). lYTLE. P'hotograph Art ti Maui ut. I 'hoto-albuirtis fruttits, et'. kept oii hnut. PIPIII'S Fut nitltrt anil Undertakiig E1st-il. lithmen t. t.t ain atrent. well supplied with ver'ything iin thin Ilno E D D. THOMAS, dealor in Fancy antd Staple J..* Groceries and iDry Giods, corner of Main and St. Anthony streets. M llS P. BERTRAND. Milliner, dealer in 1 M1 Millinery Goods and Fancy Goods, Main street. MRISi. C. ILLOT, Third street, dealerin Millinery and Dry Goods, Trimmings, No #loss, eto. 44ANWECL RODRIGITEE, Iasyette street, 1y1 Manaslatarer of Choice Cigars. -em0 TII PF4 ;1r4 a W S8ILT EDGL\ ONIC IS A THOROUCH REMEDY In every caae oi Malarial Fever, and Fever and Agize, while for diaorganization of the stomach, torpidity of the liver, indigestion and disturb ances of the animal forces, which debilitate, it has no equivalent, and cuzn have no substitute. It should not be confouznded with triturated conmpounds cif cheap spirits andi essential oils, often aold under the name of Bitters. JOlt SALE flY W Dregqsts,(irocera WineMerchants Eerywhere. HENRY HUNCH, Agt, Will supply the trade at Manufacturer's prices o w3 PLN w EE GITEG IS A THOROUGH REMEDY In ever~y case! of'niralarial Fever, andi Fever and Ague, while for disorganization of the stomach, torpidity of' the liver. indigestion and dcisturb ances of the animual ford'sR, which dcebilitate, it has no equivralenrt, andi canl have no substitunte. It shouldi not be confounded with triturated compoundsn of chearp spir~its and essential oily, often srold undler the nameo of Bitters. F·OR SALE. BY Driiyq ststc, Grocers , W~ine * "haulsrl Everywhere. H~ENRY RUSCH, Agt, Will sulpply the trade at Manulfacturer's prices ~CALDWELL OF SPRINGFIELD." FIT tiilT IIAIITF.. At the celeIbratiton of the centenary of the battle of tllhe Cowpeus, at Spartan burg, M. C.. on the l1th, Capt. Simons also readl a piein by BIret Harte, inspir ed by the event relebrated and coin nmemnorative of the bravery of Caldl well, of Springliell, brothetr of Capt. Jonathan Caldwell, who tooghlit in the Hasilett Relgimenllt. Here tlhe spot. Look around ir u. .1Above on the height Lay- thie lleesianjtcene'acnpcetil. Ily thiC ('1111chi o the rilht Stood the, gaunt .letriey tharcteris. Anet hero ran a wall YouT may dig eanywlhere andl you'll turn up a ball. Nothing more. i itra"+eis spring, waters run, flow. er, blow Pretty ncmuch ae they lid cninetv-three yen a ngo N 1thiiig tilrn, dii I cav ? stauy ione moment, ol Cc'vi hcard O(ilcl well, the paei on. %olc once pJrecilhed the Wyord D)own at Sprincctield 1what ? o! c Come, thlata ladl. W'hy, lie had All the Jerseys aflame. And tiihey lanve him the iccilcici Of tilh "rlel hi.h pi tust." lIe stuck in their For he lh ved iha Lo[iii cuod-anld lie hated King Tit had farms, yon mlight Say' Wth,"n the lie+ stn-< that ci;c Marl; cii 'i'll iih KuI JIilh enicc the" 'tolcpped oni ltheir w At the I ' rei hereiiit hic i,. cith ;t ch1-11 in 'ciii.' hew nn l,11 alone in till ho 'em. f lut it happen ed nonw \l h ciii ni iii thact on >dt' h iehirelin cliew 111 Who tired the hot' Enungh! 'T'here she lay SAnic iailwell, the hitchaplaiin. het husband, awavc hid lie preach-dicl lie play t Think ifi him as you stand~ I:y the eleli cmlu todlas think otliiti ind that hand Of militantc plow cv ti ' See the ticckc and the heat ii thccccklce % iuiu-c t Mhat trlitcnli. r'e lie- Ic the ghos t l l tl t i ii, oiil1 clain,. in yov r pVieW e wuhalct cciilc Vcit----Ccci lioildc vac. that t oh oll fill iian cii d ricie: (iccu ftt noem o VWhi, licst whitiii lii' Tili s wre left in the Inrceh For want of imire wadding. I1. caui to the c.iiiitcli, Broke the door, strippild the plws, Anti dashed out iie the road With his arms cull cl' hiicmn-book", aid threw edown his load At their feet! Then, above all the chouting and shtots Rang his voice: `Put Watts into 'em, boys; give cmrn Watts." And they did. That is all. Grasses pring, flow ers blow Pretty much an they did ninety-three yeara ago; You may dig anywhere and you'll turn up a ball, But not always a hero like this-that's all. THE MYSTERlilOUS WIDO: During the summer of 1841 the British had laid claim to all that portion of the district of Maine lying east of the Penob Sscot. Shortly before the arrival of the English squadron, Commodore Samuel Tucker had been sent around to Penob scot Bay to protect the American coast ers, and while the British sailed to Cas tine he lay at Thomaston. It was a schooner that the commodore commanded, but she was a heavy one, well armed and manned; and she carried the true Yankee "grit" upon her decks, of which the enemy had received from them rather too many proofs. On the morning of the 20th of August a messen ger was sent down from Belfast with the intelligence that the British frigate was coming from Castine to take him. Tucker knew that the British feared him, and also that Sir John Sherbrooke had offered a large amount for his capture. When the commnodore received the in telligence his vessel was lying at one of the low wharves, where he would have to wait two hours for the tide; but he hastened to have everything prepared to get her aff as soon as possible. The schooner's keel was just cleared from the mud, and one of the men had been sent upon the wharf to cast off the bowline, when a wagon, drawn by one horse, came rattling down to the spot, the driver, a rough looking countryman, got out upon the wharf, and assisted a middle agedl woman from the vehicle. The lady's first inquiry was for Commo dore Tucker. He was pointed out to her, andl she stepped upon the schooner's deck and approached him : "Commodore," she asked, "when do0 you sail from here ?" "We sail right offai's soon as possible, madam." "Oh, then, I know you will be kind to me," the lady urgedl, in persuasive tones. "My poor husband died yesterday, and I wish to carry his corpse to Wiscusset, where we belong, and where his parents will take care of it." "But my good woman, I shan't go to Wiscusset." "If you will only land me at the mouth of the Sheescot, J will ask no more. I can easily find a boat there to take me illp." "Where is the body!" asked Tucker. '"In the wagon," returned the lady, at the same time raising the corner of her shawl to wipe away the gathering tears., "I have a sum of money with me, and you shall be paid for the trouble." "'Tut, tut woman; if I accommodate you, there won't be any pay about it." The kind-hearted old commodore was l not the man to refuse a favor and though he liked not the bother of taking the wonman and her strange accompaniment on board, yet hlie could not refused. Sonice of the men were sent upon the I wharf to bring the body on board. A long butffalo robe was lifted off by the man who drove the wagon; beneath it appeared a neat black coffin. Some t words were passed by the seamen as they were p)utting the coffin on board, which t went to show pretty plainly that the af fair did not exactly suit them. But it I may have beei but prejudice on their I part, and the seamen should lie allowed i a prejudice once in a while, when we I consider the umaniy stern realities they t have to encounter. Ere long the coftfn was placed in the hold and the woman ' was shown to the cabin. In less than ' half an hour the schooner was cleared fronin the wharf and standing nut from the lay. She winid was light from the eastward, b,,ut Tucker had no tear of the frigate now that she was once i out of the bay. In the evening the laly passenger 1 camre on gleck, anld the coniunodlore as suired her that he should lihe alle to land her early on the next morning. Sh e x pressed her gratitude, and remnarked that before she retirei she would like to look and see that her husband's corpse wtt5 th. 'rhis 'ans, of c:oni'se, grautedl, a1141 one of the men lifted oil the hatch that she might go lowui into the hold. "I declare," said l)aniel Carter, an 4,( c i sailor who was standing tat the wvheel, ir ''she takes on (Ire Tully." "Yes, poor thing,' sai' ' Tl'uck 'r. as he I heard her sobs and groans. t 'DI)'yv notice what',u eye the's got. 8" Sconltinuced C)artor. 'No,'" sauid 'Tucker, ''only 'twas swollen t I with tears." ''My eyes! but they shone, though, when she stood here, lookiinig at the conm pass." Tucker smiled at the man's quaintear- t neetness and went down to the cable. When the woman came up from the i f hold, she looked about the deck of the schooner for a few minutes and tqen went aft. There was something in her coun tenance that puzzled Carter. He had a been one of those who objected to the coffin being brought aboard. The wo man's eyes ran over the schooner's deck h with a strange quickness, and Carter e eyed her very sharply. Soon she went - to the taffrail and came and stood by the e binnacle again. 4 "Look out, or you'll jibe the boom," - uttered the passenger. Carter started, and found that the i- mainsail was shivering. He gave the helm a couple of spokes apart, and then e cast his eyes again upon the woman. , "Thank'e ma'am,"asid Dan. "Ha, hold I on-why bless my soul, there's a big , spider right on yourhair. No-not there. a Here-I'll-Ugh !" e "The last ejaculation Dan made as h seemed to pull something from the 3 woman's hair, which he threw upon e the derk with the "Ugh !" above men tioned. I Shortly after the passenger went be Slow, and ere long Tucker came on deck, s "Commodore," said Carter, with a remarkable degree of earnestness in his manner, "is that'oman turned in ?" f "I rather think so," said Tucker, looking at the compass. "Look out, jlook out. Carter! Why, man alive, you're two points to the south'ards of your course." "Blow me! so I am, said the man, I bringing the helm smartly aport. "But say, didn't you notice anything peculiar about the old 'oman ' "Why, Dan, you seem greatly inter ested about her." "So I am Commodore, an' so I am about the coffin too. Wouldn't it be well for you and I to overhaul it ?" "Pehaw! you'reas scared ass a child in a graveyard!" "No, not a bit. Just hark a bit. That 'oman ain't no 'oman." The commodore pronounced the name of his satanic majesty in the most em phatic manner. "It's the truth, commodore-I pur tended there was a spider on her hair, and I rubbed my hand agin her face. By Sam Hyde if it wasn't as rough and bearded as a holy stone. You see, she told me as how I'd let the boom jibe if I didn't look out. I knowed there was no 'oman there, and so I tried her. Call somebody to the wheel and let's go and look at the coffin." The commodore was wonderstruck by what he had heard, but, with a calm Spresence of mind that made him what he was, he set coolly to thinking. In a few minutes lie called one of the men aft to relieve Carter, and then went down to look after his passenger. The latter had turned in and seemed to be sleeping. Turner returned and took Carter one side. "No noise now Carter; follow me as though nothing had happened." "Sartin." The two approached the main hatch and stooped to raise it, when IDan's hand touched a small ball that seemed to have been pinned up under the break of the hatch. "It's a ball of twine," said he. "Don't touch it, but run and get a lan tern," replied Tucker. Carter sprang to obey, and when he re turned a number of the iien had gath ered about the spot. T1hme hatch was raised, and the commodore carefully picked up the ball of twine and found that it was made fast to something be low. lie descended to the hold, and there he found that the twine ran in be neath the lid of the coffii. He had no doubt in his mind now that there was mischief boxed lip below, and sent Carter for somethinig that might answer fo'r a screw-driver. The man soon re turnedl with a stout knife, and the conm niodore set to work. lie worked very carefully, keeping a lIbight lookout for the string. At length the screws were out and the lid very carefully lifted flrom its pulace. "Great God in heaven !" burst from the lips of the commodore. "lBy Sanm Hyde !" dropped like a thun dier-clap from the tongue of young IJan. "God bless you, Dan !' sail the com modiore. "I know'd it," muttered han. The two mei stooi for a imoment anti I gazed into the cofthq, There was no I dead man there, but in place tliei-eof was I niaterial for the death of a score. The coffin was filled with gunpowder and pitchwood, upon a light fiamework i the centre were arranged four pistols, all cocked, and the string entering the cottini friom without comnmunicatel with the triggers of each. The first movement of the commodore was to call for water, and when it was brought he dashed three or four buck etsfnl into the infernal contrivance and then he breathed more freely. "No, no," he uttered, as he leaped 'from the hold. "No, ne-my men. Do nothing rashly; let me go into the cab in first.'" Commodore Tueker strode into the oabin, walking up to the bank where Shis passenger lay, and grasping hold of the female dress, he dragged its.wearer out upon the floor. There was a sharp Sresistance, and the passenger drew ap b pistol, but it was quickly knooked Saway-the gown was torn off, and aman came forth from the remnants of calico and linen. The fellow was assured that his whole Splan had been discovered, and at length She owned that it had been his plan to I turn out in the course of the night and get hold of the ball of twine, then he in tended to have gone aft, carefully un winding the string as he went along; then to have got into the boat, cut the falls, and as the boat fell into the water he would have pulled smartly upon the twine. "And I think you know," he contin ued, with a wicked look, "what would have followed. All I can say is that I'm sorry I didut do it." It was with much diffliculty that the commodore prevented his men from kill ing the villian on the spot. He proved to be one of the enemy's officers, and he was to have a heavy reward if he suc ceeded in destroying the Commodore and his crew. The prisoner was carried on deck and lashed to the main rigging. "What a horrid death that villian meant for us," uttered Carter. "Yes, he did," said Tucker, with a shudder. "He belongs to the same gang that's been a robbin' and burnin the poor folks, houses on the eastern coast" said one of the men. "Yes," said the commodore, with a nervous twitch of the muscles about his mouth. A bitter curse from the prisoner now broke on the air, and with a clenched fist the commodore went below. In the morning, when Tucker came on deck, Seguin was in sight upon the starboard bow, but when he looked for the prisoner he was gone. "Carter, where's the villain I lashed here last night!" "I'm sure I don't know where he is, commodore. Perhaps he jumped over board. The old commodore looked sternly in Carter's eyes, and he saw a twinkle of satisfaction gleaming there. He he* tated a moment-then he turned away and muttered to himself: "Well, well-I can't blame them. If the murderous villain's gone to death he's only met a fate which he deserved.' THE FIRST CASE ON RECORD. Uinto Puck Office, on Monday last there came asad-looking man, who real ized very fully Victor Hugo's descrip tion: "His hat was old, his clothes worn, his coat was all out at the elbows. The water passed through his shoes and the stars through his soul." He said: "I have here an article which, kind sir, I would like to have published." From his pocket he pulled a musty sheet of manuscript, badly worn at the corners, often folded and in an obvious state of decrepitude. "Here it is." "Who are you ?" I aske'l sympathet ically. lie blushed. "Think no less of me for telling the truth. I am a private divorce detec tive." I instinctively moved everything of value on the( desk within reach iway from him. "Do youv want any evidence? "No! I want justice." "Justice ? Who has wronged you ?" "Read this," he said, And with hand trembling he passed ine the manuscript. I read: Kind reader, I crave your attention. My name is Brice Henderson, I am a private divorce detective. For 12 year, ainidl contempt, neglect, contumely and violence, I have been, for pay, a searcher after evideince. I have done my duty to the very best of my ability, and have performed all the hated requirements of my unhappy trade. I have perjured myself whenever nec I essary, and sworn to everything my em ployers asked. I have "sold ont" flvery person who engaged mime, and ,lackmailed every one I I!ould. I have Aiev, in, tentionally, respected a conilidence or done a good dleed. I have never given oue of my clients a bit of information vithout 4irst going to the opposite side and otlieing to with hold it if they paid me more. I have associated with the worst class of persons, and made myself, as far as I could, prefer their society. For twelve yearsl have practiced with out blushing every available and con ceivable villany, and cannot reproach myself for any inconsistency on that score. One day last week, and for tbAj t time in my oa , ` Don't be surprised . was faithfal to thew me. I refised to i.4i , olined to perijure imyselfby things that were not true. I iw mental in shielding and Y innocent person and in nnp lain. I did Pot 4o ijbrpasy. . money. The 90e44hr deoffredl but I would nottakeit. This latheik case on recoard of the kis1tM I anid I think yot ought ' would swear t6 t lelly, bten know no one would bel iit. t really the truyath. I have 'on foo the square thin , a good deed. sfe 'Well," said 1, "what of this?" ý 9 ; : "Wohld you believe," said Mr. derson, "that I have taken this sa every newspaper ih New York, and t allhave refused it " "On what ground t" "Thatit would be impossible, prepoi.. terous, a fiction; that no private divorce detective could have done sueach a thing."' "Did they give any reasonsr' "The editor said: 'Such a case has never been known. We have eerve heard of such a marvel of honesty si your trade for a quarter of a century You must bcperpetrating ajokle.', Ipro tested, but they would not have it. I. am weary with trying togetit printed." "Yon look a trifle 'off.'" "Oh, sir ! I don't feel like my former self any more. The consciousness ofbe ing square preys heavily upon me. IT am a different man. My only thought is, Oh! if I could only get this printed before I die. Kind sir, perhaps you can help me ?" 'Henderson," I said, "it is a risky thing for a journalist to attempt to jus tify the truth of a story, which, as yeS understand, seems on its face to be an utter impossibility. It would be taken everywhere for a joke. No paper which publishes only news would dare take it."' "Ah! that is why they sent me to Puck. In your columns it would ikt look so strange. Then it might even ap pear natural. Oh, promise me that you will do your best to have it printed !" I said I would do my level best, an that no square man could do any more. When I returned with the cheering in. formation that it would be printed, I found him weeping. He seemed to be crying for joy. "Thanks, oh, thanks, kind air," ie gasped. "You have been so good to me. Tell me what I shall do now ?" "Henderson," said I, "it would take an older man than I am to advise you. But, wore 1 in your place, I'll tell you what T should do." "'Yes, you, kind sir, will tell me.' I would go to some wholesale glass house and have my measure taken. I would then have a glass case made. It would be of the best quality of the French imported article, thick, staunch, impervious to ordinary, blows and the effects of the weather. I woold have it mounted on wheels. Over the top I would have cut in gilt letters: "A On riosity." I would get in that glass case and be exhibited. But first I woni d open correspondence with 1Ž. T. Barnum, ' Adam Forepaugh and the Sells Broth ers, and exact a good weekly dalary and a percentage of the gross receipts. You could retire at the end of the first season and if you keep out of the law and or Wall street there isno good reason why your will shouldn't be worth contesting and a marble monument raised over your remains." "I willdo whatever you sny-to day." "(;ood day." "Not a cold lavy?" "$a e rue a ticket. ])ay-day!"-Pnok. He was a batchelor, had traveled ex tensively, and could speak, any lan guage, dead or alive; but when' be re turned home the other day, and talkcd to his sister's baby, and, when it crued and was pacified by its mother saying: "Did his naughty wanty uncle wunwle come comey homey womey and scarey warey my little putsey wntsey," he jnst lane'l over the back of the chair and wept. T'he following poemlet is good, and we regret that we do not know the niame of the ciisslet that wrote it so as to gve the credit he deserves: Froin oft thb iunnring rivilirt thl. ic: eljtiz a thawed, Aln the flutter of the winglet of the do'l..i, is a'broad; The 'iuacklet of the .incklet in the hlwokloh; w can hear, And the rootlet of the piglet will aimenutly sp JPIMIT --rei0' 8 ll. A census report gives statistics of the Pacific coast fisheries. Fifty-three ves sels and 5,547 men are employed in the business. The capital invested is $2, 648,383, and the annual production is as follows: Fresh fish, 178,04,920 pounds; crabs, shrimps, etc., t2,&00,000 pounds; oysters, mussels, etc., 125,000 pounds; whale oil, 158,685 gallons whale-bone, 61,000 pounds.