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JAS. A. HAYDEN, Publicher. OAKLAND, GARRETT CO., YID. VARIETIES. —Bennett is a Leicestershire ’Squire. —The great war mania—Rou-mania. —Breadstuff's are rising. It is ye East. —A dwarf pear—Tom Thumb and wife. —The girl of the period—The Europe an cri-sis. —Dogs are henceforth banished from the street-cars in Boston. —When is courting like a battle? When it comes to an engagement. —The most popular man with the la dies at present —The spring dol-man. —A delicate feat of surgery—Cutting off one’s heir with a shilling. —The Turk has got through dreaming of the hour. —Great men are scarce, but there are many great grandchildren. —lf flour keeps rising we must fall back on buckwheat cakes. —Salem, N. C., ships 100,000 pounds of dried blackberries annually. —Owing to the stringency, an Indiana merchant “ took a dog on a bet.” —Kingston, Canada, bases per claim to renown on fifteen base-ball clubs. —An Augusta (Ga.) groom walked twenty miles to his nuptials, one day lately. —The apportionment of 1880 will in crease the political power of the West and the Northwest. —Stick a ginger-snap on the end of a knitting-needle, and you will have the latest style of parasol. —The Belfast (Me.) Age says that peo of moderate means down that way now take their roast beef without potatoes. —A Tennessee girl, pretty and in her teens, has patented a combined harrow and stalk-cutter. —To Persons About to Marry: Take care to choose a lady help and not a lady incumbrance. —Admiral Porter says the Turkish navy is like a Chinese fort—they only use it to tire salutes. —Why cannot two slender persons be come great friends? Because they will always be slight acquaintances. —A young lady says: “If a cart-wheel has nine fellows attached to it, it’s a pity that a girl like me can’t have one!” —The bashful man who asked his girl if her favorite beverage wasn’t “ pop” was referred to her popper. —Nortcieh Bulletin. —Flat, broad heels are made by the best shoemakers in New York in prefer ence to the high and uncomfortable French heels. —Men, till a matter is done, wonder that it can be done; and as soon as it is done, wonder again that it was no sooner done. —The editor of the Aroostook (Me.) Sunrise says: “We are happy to an nouuce to our friends that our late tem porary illness was not fatal!" —A little boy, disputing with his sister on some subject, exclaimed: “ It’s true, for ma Says so; and if ma says so, it is so, if it ain’t so.” —There are 320 newspapers in Lon don, and when it is a good day for geography 311 of them can locate New York city in the State of Missouri or Texas and not half try. —A bullet-proof passenger car, weigh ing 0,500 pounds, has been built at York, Pa., for the Spanish Government, for use in Cuba. —The inventor of the self-buttoning glove is missing. It is thought he has been assassinated by enraged young men. —A Philadelphia Judge decides that a railroad company is not responsible for baggage further than to cheek it, pound it to pieces, and preserve an ordinary watch over the trunk handles. —“ That parrot of mine’s a wonderful bird,” sMil Smithei's; “he cries ‘Stop, thief!’ so naturally that every time I hear it I always stop. What are you all laughing at, anyway?” —A New York man grated some horse radish for his wife and. then sneezed, broke a blood-vessel and died. Hus bands will by and by learn to sit on the veranda and let domestic drudgery alone. —Bonner,; of the New York Ledger, owns 1(10 horses, and if you were to ask him for the loan of one to ride sixty miles of an evening to see your girl, just as likely as not he would say no. --A spider web with a fly in it is the latest device for wedding-rings. This is only appropriate where the gentleman was disposed to fly to her side the first time he spider. —Joseph Cunningham, of Fayette County, Pa., aged seventy-seven years, ' died recently on the farm on which he I was bom and from which he had never removed,. “The Bliss Fund” now amounts to $11,130.37. Of this SIO,OOO has been invested in 4) per cent. United States ; bonds, registered in the name of the Bliss children. —“The little darling; he didn’t strike 1 Mrs. Smith’s baby a purpose, did he? It j was a mere accident, wasn’t it, dear?” ( “Yes, ma, to be sure it was; and if he don’t behave himself I’ll do it again!” —The past winter was a bad season for bees in Wisconsin; Richard Dari, of Ripon, the most extensive apiarist in the State, lost forty-throe out of 104 swarms, and other bee men lost in about the same proportion. —George Francis Train complained to i a Philadelphia audience, recently, that he gave Susan B Anthony and Mrs. Cady Stanton $15,000 to start them in the lecture and newspaper business, and they went right off to buying silk dresses. —Missouri has a new law forbidding officers of banks to receive deposits after they know that their institution is in solvent, and making them individually responsible for loans caused by neglect of this provision. When you see a man with a subdued air, a streak of whitewash down his back and a piece of soap sticking to his j boot-heei, don’t treat him with contume- I ly; he is a victim of the house-cleaning j fiend. -—Within seven years there have been married from a milliner’s store on Temple I Place, in Boston, the precise number of | fifty-seven young lady clerks. Of course all vacancies are promptly filled and j salary is no object. —Only ignorant and vulgar-minded | persons confound violins with fiddles, as jif they were just the same. The fiddle is j a coarse instrument costing only a few | shillings, whereas no violin w T orthy of the name can be obtained for less than from twenty-five to fifty dollars, i —When a Cleveland young lady parts from her beau, who is too bashful to un derstand the nicer usages of his position, she will say: “William, if you were to j kiss me you might be afraid ma would | hear it. Bnl if I creak the gate she j won’t know the difference!” —A paper down in Maine prints this item: “An Auburn lady a few days since settled it that it is a very difficult thing for one woman to get a calf into a wagon. The unsympathetic people who looked on enjoyed the sport better than the calf did, and apparently better than the woman.” —The State of Oregon is going to | license liquor consumers. Every man who intends to drink intoxicatingliquors I will have to pay five dollars for a license, and then he can get drunk as often as he likes. Saloon-keepers who sell liquor to those who have neglected to take out licenses will be subjected to heavy penal ties. —A Greeley (Col.) man thinks he out ; wits the grasshoppers. His first crop is i peas, which grasshoppers detest. He next grows Australian corn, squashes and pumpkins. He then raises pigs to cat these, which grasshoppers won’t eat, and he next brings up a crop of turkeys to fatten on the ’hoppers. —Another tradition of our childhood is gone—ostriches have no longer an ir reproachable digestion. A paper relates that one of these birds, who had eaten wire nails and sundry other hardware articles with impunity, recently died from the effects of the cook’s Sunday cap, threelace collars and two baked pota toes. —lt seems hardly possible that the Lebanon (Pa.) Times refers to American ! girls when it says: “A large number of I young ladies from town have secured situations in Philadelphia families, they being preferred to those residing in the , city, being much more willing to do the work assigned to them, and better ac ! quainted with household duties.” —A liberal Philadelphian says the dif j ference between his burg and New York j is that while Philadelphia ties a string i to every dollar that she makes, and never lets it go, New Y’ork will throw a million into the Atlantic at the risk of winning or losing; and that this is precisely why the center of trade doesn’t oscillate a hair’s breadth between the two cities. —A correspondent of an agricultural paper says that after long experience he finds that the best way to sow grain is on horseback. The science of agriculture progresses. A young farmer will soon be able to take his girl out carriage rid ing and sow several acres of grain or pick five acres of potatoes at the same time —thus combining business with pleasure. —The cat-teaser is a recent invention. Its object is to prevent the feline vocal ists from prowling on the tops of fences, and making night hideous by their cater wauling under one’s very ears. It con sists of a strip of sheet metal in which V-shaped cuts are made. The pointed pieces of the metal are then bent up ward so as to stand perpendicularly; aqd the strips are tacked on the top of the fence. —“ The Associated Independent Chi namen” is something new and puzzling jto the Californians. These original Chi ; namen announce their complete segrega tion from all the six societies that hith erto kept up clanship and opposed affili ! ation with Americans. They acknowl i edge that this clanship is just cause of offense. Hereafter they promise to fall into the American ways and to adopt our dress and our customs. —ln a suburb of St. Louis is a young women’s seminary, and the pupils have a debating society. Recently they dis cussed the question: “Is it proper for a girl to permit a male cousin to kiss her?" Newspaper reporters were not admitted, but an account of the debate was secured at second-hand. The weight of argu ment was that girls’ cheeks may be kissed with propriety by young men who are 1 really cousins, but that their mouths, if kissed at all by male relatives so distant ly moved, must be touched daintily, or love-making may result. The authori ties of the seminary, on learning what had happened, ordered that all questions to be discussed must first be sanctioned by them,’and that a member of the facul ty must attend every meeting. —As a young man was looking over a barrel of eggs received at a grocery on Newark avenue, Jersey City, about a month ago, he found the following in scription on one of the eggs: If this you sed, young man, Write just as soon as you can, And let me hear from my favorite egg; This great boon I humbly beg. Jclia Bmekson, Westfield, O. The young man immediately wrote to the address, inclosing his photograph, and received a reply and picture fromthe writer of the lines. The correspondence was continued to the satisfaction of both persons, who are to be married next month. It is said the young lady is a daughter of a wealthy farmer, and wrote the lines in jest, never expecting to hear from them. —Bishop Lynch, who lias been lectur ing in Boston, relates a story which came under his own observation forty years ago, and illustrates the difference be tween English and American character. Living in the West- a poor widow strove to maintain herself and her two young sons, but her health failed, and starva- i tion stared her in the face. Under the j English system the family would have ! been sent to the poor-house, which would , have blighted their lives forever. A : kindly neighbor took one of the boys j into his family and gave such assistance j to the mother as enabled her to face the J world. In a few years the boys were able to maintain their mother from their own earnings. One of the boys is to day the General of the United States army; the other is Secretary of the Treasury. Tlte War and Its Outlook. The matter most interesting to Arneri ‘ cans at this stage of the Russo-Turkish ; conflict is to ascertain whether the war ; is or is not likely to lead to a wider l European struggle, involving countries I with which we have more extensive re | lations. If it leads to such a struggle it is I obvious that the United States may profit ! ! by it in many different ways—through a ’ J probable increase of emigration to this ’ ! side of the Atlantic; through an increased | demand in Europe for our agricultural 1 j staples and for certain kinds of our man- I ufactures, and through the distrust of s European securities which can scarcely • fail to be awakened among European , capitalists and investors by a general ’ perturbation of the European political I system. If it fails to lead to such a ( struggle our interest in it will be mainly sentimental and speculative, though the ; sentiments it will enlist will be among ; the deepest, and the social and political , speculations it will set afoot among the* i most important, which can stir the pub - lie mind. The question whether this war shall be i a local or a general war will be answered in the campaign which has now begun. . We can hardly expect with the London Spectator that the world will learn “within : a fortnight” how this first campaign will go. But Gen. Fadeeff, in his “Opinion : on the Eastern question,” estimates that if Russia can get 250,000 men to the Danube 150,000 of them will reach Con-f stantinople, Austria remaining neutral, in a single campaign; and, assuming this opinion to be correct, we may reasonably count on learning within a month whether Russia can get 250,000 men to the Danube. Her army, as at present mobil ized on the Roumanian frontiers, con sists, according to the best information attainable, of about 210,000 men, assem bled at a distance of about 400 miles from the Danube. It is not at all clear yet whether this army can count upon any effective assistance from a Roumanian contingent; nor indeed is it clear that Germany, which is all-powerful with the ruler of Roumania, really desires Rou mania to render Russia such assistance. From the Roumanian frontier to the Danube the Russian forces must be moved along a single line of railway. ! This is a single-track railway, laid with j curves as sharp as any known on our | cheap Western lines, and it is not possi- I ble to send long trains over it or to move ! over it at any high rate of speed. Conti | petent persons estimate its transporta- I tion capacity at 7,000 men a day, so that j it will require at least ten days to con | centrate two Russian army corps at Giur | gevo, on the Danube. At least another l week must be consumed in sending for ward the artillery and the army train, so that it is not probable that any attempt can be made by the Russians to cross the Danube in force at Giurgevo under three weeks’ time. If the rest of the Russian army of invasion is moved in two sepa rate bodies upon the Danube to reach that river, one in the vicinity of Brailow for the purpose of crossing it into the Do brudsche, and the other to reach it at HirsoVa, joining there the force in the Dobrudscha, the Russians may be ex pected to be in a position to attempt the concentration for a decisive battle in Turkish territory, not of 250,W00 but of 210,000 men, at the end of not less than a month. In the meanwhile what will the Turks be doing? Recognizing the difficulty of crossing the Danube, the Russians in previous campaigns have traversed it at its mouth, in 1809 at Galatz, in 1828 at Satunovo, by pontoons and bridges of boats. In the latter case, however, it should be borne in mind that the invasion was in effect a marine invasion and the Black Sea the base of operations and supplies. Greig’s fleet victualed the army, crossed men, munitions and artillery, and even took the considerable fortress of Sizepoli. The advantage of the command of the Euxine rests this time with Turkey. If the Russians undertake to repeat the ex periment, besides the disadvantages of starting from the lower shore, with its unhealthy and difficult marshes, and of having the full stress of the current be tween its last islands and the Turkish bank, they will be subject to formidable opposition from the Turkish gunboats, and liable to attack in flank and rear by troops landed from the fleet. In front is the strong line of the railroad behind the wall of Trajan, from Kustendje to Tchernavoda, connecting the Black Sea and the river, some thirty-six miles in length. Von Moltke’s estimate, on re viewing the campaign of 1828-9, was that by crossing at Hirsova with 120,000 men, leaving 20,000 to invest Silistria, as many more before Varna and 30,000 as a corps d’observation before Schumia, it would not be impossible for the remain ing 50,000 men to cross the Balkans, “ having as.a base the Black Sea ports.” This veiy essential element of the base is lacking, a fact which makes it neces sary to revise the whole calculation. On the other hand the Russians, who hat e hitherto found attacks on Bulgaria byway of the Lower Dunube unprofita ble, might take the more roundabout way of an advance by the west through Ser bia. The Danube forms the Roumano- Serbian frontier for some thirty miles below the Austrian line, and at Glabowa there remain some ruins of a bridgebuilt i by Trajan, indicating an available point of passage. In this connection it is j worth remembering that in the last | French campaign the Germans placed , much dependence on the lines of the old ! Roman military roads, and found them to lead infallibly to advantageous fords and crossings. To this plan there are two objections. The eastern districts of J Hungary and Transylvania here form a - salient angle, commanding Little Wal lachia, and giving the Austrq-Hungarian j forces a position of immense advantage | whenever Austria chooses to unsheath i her slow but heavy sword and command [ the peace. This may be the ambition of j Austria in the present contest; if it is, it | may be considered certain that the lius ] sian Government has anticipated it. In I 1854 the Czar Nicholas placed his army I in this cooped-up corner, against the | judgment and protest- of his skilled Geu j oral, Prince Paskiewitsch, whose advice J was to withdraw instantly and pounce j upon Silistria. In any case an army en tering there would find itself under the guns of Widdin, and could hardly vent ure upon turning the Western Balkans by the great highway of Belgrade, Nitsch, Sofia, Philippopolis and Adrian- j ople before it had reduced that great I fortress. If it pressed forward without reducing that place its left flank would be exposed to attack. The rising of the Christian population of Bulgaria is apparently counted upon as an element of Russian strength. The Christians may make common cause with the invaders—but they refused to do so in 1828-9. though the Russians offered to arm them—and their dislike for the Turkish regiment partial toleration mod ified by massacre is likely to be gravely tempered by their vivid recollection of recent events following close on their suspected sympathy with Serbia. The whole matter may be summed up thus, in the words of that very competent critic, M. Ernest Dottain: The occupation of Bulgaria is not so sim ple an operation as many think. It implies the continual passage of a stream difficult to cross, the reduction of four or five great fortresses and the defeat of a large army in the field. It is possible that if Russia em ploys all the resources of her vast empire in such an enterprise she will in the long run exhaust the resources of Turkey and subju gate her. but this would without a doubt take two or three campaigns onerous to her self as well as to Turkey—and Russia needs a prompt and decisive triumph, such a tri umph as is not likely to be had in a war: of positions against a Turkish army. On the whole, it is not very probable that the Grand Duke Nicholas within the next month will have got very far on his way to water his horses in the Bos phorus; and, failing this, the Russian prospect of ending the war in a single earVtpaign will become so clouded over that Europe will be compelled to con front the necessity of dealing with two exasperated Empires, both of them finan cially ruined. And that will mean a general European war.— N. Y. World. Old Tom’s Offering. "When a man has grown old and de graded on whisky, ’and when he has made the gutter his bed for long years, the world is apt to hate him.~ it has been so with old Tom Shanahan, who has been a sot for so many years that one can’t remember. Everybody be lieved that all his sentiment had been drowned out by whisky —that his man hood was gone—that his intelligence was only sufficient to keep him from under the wheels of passing vehicles. And yet what did old Tom do last Sunday? Half drunk, as usual, he blundered into a saloon on Woodbridge street and found that a child lay dead in a back room. Men.and women were passing in to take a last look, and most of them had some offering for the dead. One woman had a bit of lace, another put a flower in the the dead child’s fingers, and some of the men also had flowers. Old Tom bent over the coffin to better see the pale face, but one of the women pulled him away and said: “ How dare you look into the face of that dead child—you, with your red eyes, bloated cheeks and foul breath! Y’ou are no better than a beast!” The old sot staggered out doors, more embarrassed than anyone had ever seen him before, and, sitting down with his back to the wall, he seemed to ponder over the woman’s words. By. and by, when they thought him asleep, he got up and walked away. In half an hour he came back, having in his hand a half blown dandelion, which he had plucked from some sunny spot beside the fence. He walked into the room unopposed, j straight up to the coffin, and, placing his poor flower on the dead child’s breast, he looked around and said: “It is all I have to give.” Men and women regarded him writh curious stares. Something in their hall pitying, half-sarcastic smiles fired him with sudden resolution, and, standing over the coffin, he hoarsely said: “I know what you think of me, but I’m going to do better! Over this dead body I solemnly promise never to drink another drop, so help me God!” And he has not up to this time, and there is such an earnest look on his face and such a different look in his eyes, that men look after hint as he passes by and whisper: “Wouldn’t it be strange if old Tom should come to life again?”— Detroit Free Press. New York’s Jack Ketch. The man who has filled the office of hangman in New Y'ork and Brooklyn for the past quarter of a century lives in the Wallabout neighborhood, Brooklyn. He is a medium-sized, dark-skinned, black haired man, who is known as Henry Isaacs, a false name, adopted to screen his family from notoriety. Isaacs’ first execution was in 1853, when Nicholas Hewlett and William Saul, two river pirates, were hanged in New Y'ork, Since that time he has officiated at the execution of the follow ing criminals: At the Tombs—James L. Hoar, John Dor sey, James Rogers, James Stephenson, John Cummings, Nathaniel Gordon, the pirate, William Hawkins, Bernard Friery, George Wagner, Jerry O'Brien, John Real, John Thomas, William Foster and Michael Nixon; and in Brooklyn—Henry Rogers and the murderers of Otero, Gon zales and Pellicier. Isaacs had been engaged to execute Rubenstein, but lost his fee ($250) by the death of his prospective victim. . He fol lows what is known as the Mar wood method of hanging, in which the knot is placed under the chin, so that death may be produced by breaking the neck, in stead of by strangulation. He always ascertains the weight of the person to be executed, and provides a rope of corre sponding strength. He usually provides a halter about half an inch in diameter, made of the best hemp, which he satu rates with a chemical fluid prepared by himself. He charges according to the service rendered. If he only cuts the rope he charges $l5O, but if he furnishes certain material and an assistant he re ceives $250. Isaacs is a carpenter by trade.— N. Y. World. —Sadyk Pasha, lately the Turkish Am bassador at Paris, hearing of “ guaran tees,” told the following anecdote: A man at Rustchuk was bargaining with a poulterer for a pair of fowls. At last he said: “ Well, 1 will take them at your price, only 1 have not my money w ith me.” "Oh, then,"said the dealer, “there is an end to it.” “ Not at all. The bargain is struck. I will only take one of your fowls, and will you leave the other as guarantee.' Maine topers buy tin doughnuts filled with whisky. Americans Abroad. The cheap excursion tickets to Europe have been the means of presenting some singular specimens of our Countrymen to foreign eyes. Curtis Guild, in his book of European travel, " Abroad Again,” gives a pen-picture of some of these characters met in Europe—descriptions of which have hitherto generally been deemed caricatures: Foreign travel is doubtless a most val uable instructor; and few- Americans of average common sense can travel to any extent, either at home or abroad, with out adding to their stock of knowledge, and receiving a certain amount of prac tical instruction of real value. But cer tainly I have met American parties abroad as unfit for foreign travel, and who would receive as little intellectual benefit from it, as a student in mathematics who has advanced no further than simple addi tion would from a week’s instruction in a calculation of logarithms. There were men from Vermont who had never seen the Green Mountains; from Western New Y'ork, who couldn’t tell you the height of Niagara Falls; an Illinois farmer who had never been in any city in his life except Indianapolis. Great tall fellows, with mourning-clothed fin ger-nails, who chewed tobacco and spat on the marble floors of cathedrals, and w r ere the very types of character which English writers have described in their books on America as representatives of our country—descriptions which may have vexed us, and caused more than one to avow them to be caricatures, over drawn sketches, or malicious representa tions. One of this class came into our rail way carriage between Munich and Vi enna—a tall, somewhat ungainly-looking man, with the national characteristics of the American countryman as prominent as if the word had been painted upon his forehead. In the railway carriage, beside ourselves, was an Englishman and his daughter, our pleasant traveling companions, on both of whom the new | comer soon opened fire, beginning with I the usual fusilade of questions: “Y’ou ain’t an American, are ye?” “ No, sir, I am not.” “ English, I s’pose?” " Y es.” “ Going to Y’ienny?” “Yes." “ I s’pose ye mean to go to the YVorld’s Fair there, don’t ye?” “ I think we shall go to the Exposition ' while we are there.” “ What hotel shall you put up at?” “ YVe shall go to the Hotel Metropole.” “ Haow?” “The Metropolitan Hotel,” I volun teered, in explanation for my English friend, who was beginning to be amused. The dialogue was resumed. “Oh, ah! Yes. I don’t understand French; but our party —we’re the eddica tional excursion party —have an inter preter, who goes ’long with us all the time and translates everything.” Englishman—Sir, you are very fortu nate. Yankee—Y’aas. YVhole trip from Amerikee and back only S4OO. Eng. —Very reasonable. Y'au.—Big pile of money fur some on us; but I was bound to come. Ever been to Vienny before? Eng.—Y'es. Y’au. —How big a place is it? Eng.—lts a city of 600,000 inhabit ants. Y T an.—You don’t say so! By the by, ! Vienny is the capital of Ostrey, ain’t it? Eng.—lt is. Y'an.—YVhich way are you goin’ when you leave Vienny? Eng.- —North. Y'an. —Travelin’ for pleasure or busi ness? Eng.—Principally for pleasure, j [The reader will please to recollect ; that this is no fancy sketch, but a report | of a conversation which actually oc j curred as here set down.] Y'an.—What part of England do you come from? Eng.—The city of London. Y'an. —In business there? Eng. —No, sir, I am not. Y’an. —Carryin’ on any business out of town? Eng.—No, sir. Y’an.—What is your business when you are to home? Eng. —I am not in any business. Y’an.—Oh! Retired? Eng.—Y’es. [One would have thought that the American, having now run his quarry completely down, would have “retired” also; but no, he returned to the charge again] Y’an.—What business was you in be ' fore you retired? Eng. —I was a book-publisher. Yan. —In business long? Eng. —Forty years. Y'an. —Wal, you’ve got some time yet to enjoy yourself. How old do you call yourself? [At this point the good-natured Briton, who had been more amused than vexed by this impertinent catechism, changed his tactics and replied to his interrogator’s last question in the true American style —by asking another—and continued to follow him up after the same fashion he had been attacked himself, as follows:] Eng.—How old should you think me? Y’an —Wal, about a matter of sixty five or seven. Eng.—How old are you? Y’an.—Give a guess. Eng.—Forty-two. Are you an Ameri can? Y'an.—Yes, sir (straightening up). Eng.—ln what part of America were you born. Y’an.—Wal, I was raised in Vermont, but I moved to Elmiry, N. Y'. Eng.—Married? Y’an.—Y’es, sir; merried when I was twenty five. Eng.—Any children? Y'an.—No, sir; never hed none. Eng.—Wife traveling with you? Yan. —No, sir; I’m a widower. EDg. —Ah! excuse me; but what’s your business when you are at home? Y’an. —I’m a milkman—l carry round milk. Eng. (smiiing)—But what will your customers do for milk while you are away? Y'an.—Oh, I sold out my route, which was a good one, fur five hundred dollars, | and took four ou’t and bought one of ! them (look tickets to come out here to 1 the Vienny Exhibition. This milk revelation was too much for ' me, who had been stilling my.laugbter ] by every possible device as the unmerci ful Englishman went on with his quiz zing of the enemy; and at this point I was compelled to seek relief in an ex plosion of laughter, in which he joined, and, to our no small astonishment, the milkman also, who remarked that it was a good joke; and he “guessed the feller that bought the route would hev easier work deliverin’milk to some of his cus tomers than collectin’ their bills.” The above dialogue was no fancy sketch, and its hero was an actual sam ple of an American excursionist; and it is not the only one of this description either that the facilities of travel, the cheap-ticket system and Vienna Exhibi tion attracted from their native land, for 1 have encountered several others equally amusing. One who rushed up to the carriage of a party of us who were leav ing the hotel to say that he was going to travel with a currier, and so far from seeing the point when asked by a gentle man if he wanted to improve his ac quaintance in the leather trade seriously replied he never had any dealings in that line. Another, in Rome, on being asked to join a party to visit the Colosseum, re plied: “Colosseum! what’s that?” “ Why, the old Roman circus, you know.” “ O yes! Is there a performance this evening? YVhat time does it begin?” An explanation thatthe circus referred to was unlike the modern one, with horses, clowns and acrobats, had to be gently hinted to this ambitious sight seer to prevent misapprehension anddis appointment. Spring Work With Poultry. Now that the rigors of winter are somewhat relaxed and the earth has cast off her white mantle, hens are very busy peeping into every nook and corner, prating, with joyful anticipations, of I coming events; and while warming up the enthusiasm of their keeper, Ihey seem to be asking for special care and attention. The true method of managing all kinds. | of stock is to take advantage of their nature and assist it to the advancement of their keeper's interests. To induce a hen to lay, let the nest be partly shaded. 1 When she wants to sit, if you wish to 1 remove her, do it at night and make her ! surroundings as nearly as possible like ! those of the nest she laid in. On a farm where there are many nooks and corners, and where the farmer has some one to attend to his fowls, boxes may be put up 1 in a number of places, and the fowls will i select and lay, each in her favorite nest, and when the time for sitting has come, ! each will go to her accustomed nest 1 without much changing or confusion; i but where the accommdations are more I limited more attention must be given to : the nests. If fowls have liberty, they need not now have warm, soft food. YVhen the snow has disappeared, they will find ! gravel, seed, a little green food, etc.; but J should they be confined, the winter’s I care must, of course, be continued. A ; lot of oyster shells, thrown down on a i road or yard over which horses travel, is ! very good for poultry on a farm. Pure | water is essential, and should there be 1 any stagnant pools of dirty water about the barnyard, fill them up immediately. Drinking impure water is a source of , disease that should never be tolerated. i Animal food should be given until earth worms make their appearance. Feed liberally with grain and your hens will I generously reward your liberality.—Jiu ral New Yorker. A Close Calculation. The San Francisco Bulletin says: “A novel question, involving the statute of ; limitations, was raised in the Twelfth . District Court this morning. On the 15th of July, 1872, Jonathan Bickerstafl" gave his promissory note for $1,528 to 11. K. Curtis, payable on the 15th of November, 1872. The matter was al lowed to run along until Nov. 15, 1576, when the assignee of the note brought suit against the maker of it. His at i torney, N. Duprey, raised the question j on demurrer that the claim is barred by I the statute of limitations under section j 337 of the Code of Civil Procedure. lie ; made the point that the year 1876 being j leap-year, the action was commenced i one day too late, as the law recognizes but 365 days in a year, unless otherwise provided in the statute or contract, and there were 366 days in 1876. It was contended by H. Wilkins, for the other side, that the note was executed before the code took effect, in 1873, therefore days of grace are allowed. Mr. Duprey replied that the statute amending the provisions as to days of grace was ap proved and took effect in March, 1872. Judge Dangerfield remarked that there were so many decisions of our Supreme Court bearing upon the statute of limit ations that he would take the matter un der consideration, and suggested that counsel furnish points and authorities.” The following exquisite passage is commended to all novel readers. YVe withhold the name of the tale from which it is taken: “Her large, limpid, lustrous eyes filled with big, billowy tears, Lurline leaned over the dying auc tioneer’s pillow. ‘Lurline,’ he sfghed, feebly. ‘ Aye, Alonzo,’ she answered. ‘ Lurline,’ he said, ‘meet mein the sweet buy and boy!’ His breath came fainter and with more difficulty. In a moment more he was going, going, gone! ‘Heis dead,’ said the doctor. ‘ Y’es, he has gone, absolutely and without reserve,’ sobbed the wife.” Some feminine letter writter has been talking about a Louisiana Senator’s “ lovely blue eyes, rosy complexion and beautiful hair, which looks so soft and white as a snow-flake”; whereupon the Times of New Orleans gently says: “ Ben atbr Saunders is doubtless a very able man, but his eyes are not a ‘ lovely blue’; his complexion is a brick-dusty red, and his hair, what there is of it, is a rusty carroty red, not often combed. Barring these slight inaccuracies, the description is correct enough." —Statistics show that more elderly mar riages take place in Kentucky than in any other State of the Union. Nothing is thought on either side of the house of tying the knot at three score and ten, and along there. Influence of blue grass.