The Republican. [volume], May 19, 1877, Image 2

About The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current

Image provided by: University of Maryland, College Park, MD

                
Tlie X-tepiiblican.
JAS. A. HAYDEN, Publicher.
OAKLAND, GARRETT CO., YID.
VARIETIES.
—Bennett is a Leicestershire ’Squire.
—The great war mania—Rou-mania.
—Breadstuff's are rising. It is ye East.
—A dwarf pear—Tom Thumb and
wife.
—The girl of the period—The Europe
an cri-sis.
—Dogs are henceforth banished from
the street-cars in Boston.
—When is courting like a battle? When
it comes to an engagement.
—The most popular man with the la
dies at present —The spring dol-man.
—A delicate feat of surgery—Cutting
off one’s heir with a shilling.
—The Turk has got through dreaming
of the hour.
—Great men are scarce, but there are
many great grandchildren.
—lf flour keeps rising we must fall
back on buckwheat cakes.
—Salem, N. C., ships 100,000 pounds
of dried blackberries annually.
—Owing to the stringency, an Indiana
merchant “ took a dog on a bet.”
—Kingston, Canada, bases per claim
to renown on fifteen base-ball clubs.
—An Augusta (Ga.) groom walked
twenty miles to his nuptials, one day
lately.
—The apportionment of 1880 will in
crease the political power of the West
and the Northwest.
—Stick a ginger-snap on the end of a
knitting-needle, and you will have the
latest style of parasol.
—The Belfast (Me.) Age says that peo
of moderate means down that way now
take their roast beef without potatoes.
—A Tennessee girl, pretty and in her
teens, has patented a combined harrow
and stalk-cutter.
—To Persons About to Marry: Take
care to choose a lady help and not a lady
incumbrance.
—Admiral Porter says the Turkish
navy is like a Chinese fort—they only use
it to tire salutes.
—Why cannot two slender persons be
come great friends? Because they will
always be slight acquaintances.
—A young lady says: “If a cart-wheel
has nine fellows attached to it, it’s a pity
that a girl like me can’t have one!”
—The bashful man who asked his
girl if her favorite beverage wasn’t “ pop”
was referred to her popper. —Nortcieh
Bulletin.
—Flat, broad heels are made by the
best shoemakers in New York in prefer
ence to the high and uncomfortable
French heels.
—Men, till a matter is done, wonder
that it can be done; and as soon as it is
done, wonder again that it was no sooner
done.
—The editor of the Aroostook (Me.)
Sunrise says: “We are happy to an
nouuce to our friends that our late tem
porary illness was not fatal!"
—A little boy, disputing with his sister
on some subject, exclaimed: “ It’s true,
for ma Says so; and if ma says so, it is
so, if it ain’t so.”
—There are 320 newspapers in Lon
don, and when it is a good day for
geography 311 of them can locate New
York city in the State of Missouri or
Texas and not half try.
—A bullet-proof passenger car, weigh
ing 0,500 pounds, has been built at York,
Pa., for the Spanish Government, for
use in Cuba.
—The inventor of the self-buttoning
glove is missing. It is thought he has
been assassinated by enraged young
men.
—A Philadelphia Judge decides that a
railroad company is not responsible for
baggage further than to cheek it, pound
it to pieces, and preserve an ordinary
watch over the trunk handles.
—“ That parrot of mine’s a wonderful
bird,” sMil Smithei's; “he cries ‘Stop,
thief!’ so naturally that every time I hear
it I always stop. What are you all
laughing at, anyway?”
—A New York man grated some horse
radish for his wife and. then sneezed,
broke a blood-vessel and died. Hus
bands will by and by learn to sit on the
veranda and let domestic drudgery alone.
—Bonner,; of the New York Ledger,
owns 1(10 horses, and if you were to ask
him for the loan of one to ride sixty
miles of an evening to see your girl, just
as likely as not he would say no.
--A spider web with a fly in it is the
latest device for wedding-rings. This is
only appropriate where the gentleman
was disposed to fly to her side the first
time he spider.
—Joseph Cunningham, of Fayette
County, Pa., aged seventy-seven years, '
died recently on the farm on which he I
was bom and from which he had never
removed,.
“The Bliss Fund” now amounts to
$11,130.37. Of this SIO,OOO has been
invested in 4) per cent. United States ;
bonds, registered in the name of the
Bliss children.
—“The little darling; he didn’t strike 1
Mrs. Smith’s baby a purpose, did he? It j
was a mere accident, wasn’t it, dear?” (
“Yes, ma, to be sure it was; and if he
don’t behave himself I’ll do it again!”
—The past winter was a bad season
for bees in Wisconsin; Richard Dari, of
Ripon, the most extensive apiarist in the
State, lost forty-throe out of 104 swarms,
and other bee men lost in about the same
proportion.
—George Francis Train complained to i
a Philadelphia audience, recently, that
he gave Susan B Anthony and Mrs.
Cady Stanton $15,000 to start them in
the lecture and newspaper business, and
they went right off to buying silk
dresses.
—Missouri has a new law forbidding
officers of banks to receive deposits after
they know that their institution is in
solvent, and making them individually
responsible for loans caused by neglect
of this provision.
When you see a man with a subdued
air, a streak of whitewash down his
back and a piece of soap sticking to his j
boot-heei, don’t treat him with contume- I
ly; he is a victim of the house-cleaning
j fiend.
-—Within seven years there have been
married from a milliner’s store on Temple
I Place, in Boston, the precise number of
| fifty-seven young lady clerks. Of course
all vacancies are promptly filled and
j salary is no object.
—Only ignorant and vulgar-minded
| persons confound violins with fiddles, as
jif they were just the same. The fiddle is
j a coarse instrument costing only a few
| shillings, whereas no violin w T orthy of
the name can be obtained for less than
from twenty-five to fifty dollars,
i —When a Cleveland young lady parts
from her beau, who is too bashful to un
derstand the nicer usages of his position,
she will say: “William, if you were to
j kiss me you might be afraid ma would
| hear it. Bnl if I creak the gate she
j won’t know the difference!”
—A paper down in Maine prints this
item: “An Auburn lady a few days
since settled it that it is a very difficult
thing for one woman to get a calf into a
wagon. The unsympathetic people who
looked on enjoyed the sport better than
the calf did, and apparently better than
the woman.”
—The State of Oregon is going to
| license liquor consumers. Every man
who intends to drink intoxicatingliquors
I will have to pay five dollars for a license,
and then he can get drunk as often as he
likes. Saloon-keepers who sell liquor to
those who have neglected to take out
licenses will be subjected to heavy penal
ties.
—A Greeley (Col.) man thinks he out
; wits the grasshoppers. His first crop is
i peas, which grasshoppers detest. He
next grows Australian corn, squashes and
pumpkins. He then raises pigs to cat
these, which grasshoppers won’t eat, and
he next brings up a crop of turkeys to
fatten on the ’hoppers.
—Another tradition of our childhood
is gone—ostriches have no longer an ir
reproachable digestion. A paper relates
that one of these birds, who had eaten
wire nails and sundry other hardware
articles with impunity, recently died
from the effects of the cook’s Sunday
cap, threelace collars and two baked pota
toes.
—lt seems hardly possible that the
Lebanon (Pa.) Times refers to American
! girls when it says: “A large number of
I young ladies from town have secured
situations in Philadelphia families, they
being preferred to those residing in the
, city, being much more willing to do the
work assigned to them, and better ac
! quainted with household duties.”
—A liberal Philadelphian says the dif
j ference between his burg and New York
j is that while Philadelphia ties a string
i to every dollar that she makes, and never
lets it go, New Y’ork will throw a million
into the Atlantic at the risk of winning
or losing; and that this is precisely why
the center of trade doesn’t oscillate a
hair’s breadth between the two cities.
—A correspondent of an agricultural
paper says that after long experience he
finds that the best way to sow grain is on
horseback. The science of agriculture
progresses. A young farmer will soon
be able to take his girl out carriage rid
ing and sow several acres of grain or
pick five acres of potatoes at the same
time —thus combining business with
pleasure.
—The cat-teaser is a recent invention.
Its object is to prevent the feline vocal
ists from prowling on the tops of fences,
and making night hideous by their cater
wauling under one’s very ears. It con
sists of a strip of sheet metal in which
V-shaped cuts are made. The pointed
pieces of the metal are then bent up
ward so as to stand perpendicularly; aqd
the strips are tacked on the top of the
fence.
—“ The Associated Independent Chi
namen” is something new and puzzling
jto the Californians. These original Chi
; namen announce their complete segrega
tion from all the six societies that hith
erto kept up clanship and opposed affili
! ation with Americans. They acknowl
i edge that this clanship is just cause of
offense. Hereafter they promise to fall
into the American ways and to adopt our
dress and our customs.
—ln a suburb of St. Louis is a young
women’s seminary, and the pupils have
a debating society. Recently they dis
cussed the question: “Is it proper for a
girl to permit a male cousin to kiss her?"
Newspaper reporters were not admitted,
but an account of the debate was secured
at second-hand. The weight of argu
ment was that girls’ cheeks may be kissed
with propriety by young men who are
1 really cousins, but that their mouths, if
kissed at all by male relatives so distant
ly moved, must be touched daintily, or
love-making may result. The authori
ties of the seminary, on learning what
had happened, ordered that all questions
to be discussed must first be sanctioned
by them,’and that a member of the facul
ty must attend every meeting.
—As a young man was looking over a
barrel of eggs received at a grocery on
Newark avenue, Jersey City, about a
month ago, he found the following in
scription on one of the eggs:
If this you sed, young man,
Write just as soon as you can,
And let me hear from my favorite egg;
This great boon I humbly beg.
Jclia Bmekson, Westfield, O.
The young man immediately wrote to
the address, inclosing his photograph,
and received a reply and picture fromthe
writer of the lines. The correspondence
was continued to the satisfaction of both
persons, who are to be married next
month. It is said the young lady is a
daughter of a wealthy farmer, and wrote
the lines in jest, never expecting to hear
from them.
—Bishop Lynch, who lias been lectur
ing in Boston, relates a story which came
under his own observation forty years
ago, and illustrates the difference be
tween English and American character.
Living in the West- a poor widow strove
to maintain herself and her two young
sons, but her health failed, and starva- i
tion stared her in the face. Under the j
English system the family would have !
been sent to the poor-house, which would ,
have blighted their lives forever. A :
kindly neighbor took one of the boys j
into his family and gave such assistance j
to the mother as enabled her to face the J
world. In a few years the boys were
able to maintain their mother from their
own earnings. One of the boys is to
day the General of the United States
army; the other is Secretary of the
Treasury.
Tlte War and Its Outlook.
The matter most interesting to Arneri
‘ cans at this stage of the Russo-Turkish
; conflict is to ascertain whether the war
; is or is not likely to lead to a wider
l European struggle, involving countries
I with which we have more extensive re
| lations. If it leads to such a struggle it is
I obvious that the United States may profit
! ! by it in many different ways—through a
’ J probable increase of emigration to this
’ ! side of the Atlantic; through an increased
| demand in Europe for our agricultural
1 j staples and for certain kinds of our man-
I ufactures, and through the distrust of
s European securities which can scarcely
• fail to be awakened among European
, capitalists and investors by a general
’ perturbation of the European political
I system. If it fails to lead to such a
( struggle our interest in it will be mainly
sentimental and speculative, though the
; sentiments it will enlist will be among
; the deepest, and the social and political
, speculations it will set afoot among the*
i most important, which can stir the pub
- lie mind.
The question whether this war shall be
i a local or a general war will be answered
in the campaign which has now begun.
. We can hardly expect with the London
Spectator that the world will learn “within
: a fortnight” how this first campaign will
go. But Gen. Fadeeff, in his “Opinion
: on the Eastern question,” estimates
that if Russia can get 250,000 men to the
Danube 150,000 of them will reach Con-f
stantinople, Austria remaining neutral, in
a single campaign; and, assuming this
opinion to be correct, we may reasonably
count on learning within a month whether
Russia can get 250,000 men to the
Danube. Her army, as at present mobil
ized on the Roumanian frontiers, con
sists, according to the best information
attainable, of about 210,000 men, assem
bled at a distance of about 400 miles
from the Danube. It is not at all clear
yet whether this army can count upon
any effective assistance from a Roumanian
contingent; nor indeed is it clear that
Germany, which is all-powerful with the
ruler of Roumania, really desires Rou
mania to render Russia such assistance.
From the Roumanian frontier to the
Danube the Russian forces must be
moved along a single line of railway.
! This is a single-track railway, laid with
j curves as sharp as any known on our
| cheap Western lines, and it is not possi-
I ble to send long trains over it or to move
! over it at any high rate of speed. Conti
| petent persons estimate its transporta-
I tion capacity at 7,000 men a day, so that
j it will require at least ten days to con
| centrate two Russian army corps at Giur
| gevo, on the Danube. At least another
l week must be consumed in sending for
ward the artillery and the army train, so
that it is not probable that any attempt
can be made by the Russians to cross the
Danube in force at Giurgevo under three
weeks’ time. If the rest of the Russian
army of invasion is moved in two sepa
rate bodies upon the Danube to reach that
river, one in the vicinity of Brailow for
the purpose of crossing it into the Do
brudsche, and the other to reach it at
HirsoVa, joining there the force in the
Dobrudscha, the Russians may be ex
pected to be in a position to attempt the
concentration for a decisive battle in
Turkish territory, not of 250,W00 but of
210,000 men, at the end of not less than
a month.
In the meanwhile what will the Turks
be doing?
Recognizing the difficulty of crossing
the Danube, the Russians in previous
campaigns have traversed it at its mouth,
in 1809 at Galatz, in 1828 at Satunovo,
by pontoons and bridges of boats. In
the latter case, however, it should be
borne in mind that the invasion was in
effect a marine invasion and the Black
Sea the base of operations and supplies.
Greig’s fleet victualed the army, crossed
men, munitions and artillery, and even
took the considerable fortress of Sizepoli.
The advantage of the command of the
Euxine rests this time with Turkey. If
the Russians undertake to repeat the ex
periment, besides the disadvantages of
starting from the lower shore, with its
unhealthy and difficult marshes, and of
having the full stress of the current be
tween its last islands and the Turkish
bank, they will be subject to formidable
opposition from the Turkish gunboats,
and liable to attack in flank and rear by
troops landed from the fleet. In front
is the strong line of the railroad behind
the wall of Trajan, from Kustendje to
Tchernavoda, connecting the Black Sea
and the river, some thirty-six miles in
length. Von Moltke’s estimate, on re
viewing the campaign of 1828-9, was
that by crossing at Hirsova with 120,000
men, leaving 20,000 to invest Silistria, as
many more before Varna and 30,000 as a
corps d’observation before Schumia, it
would not be impossible for the remain
ing 50,000 men to cross the Balkans,
“ having as.a base the Black Sea ports.”
This veiy essential element of the base
is lacking, a fact which makes it neces
sary to revise the whole calculation.
On the other hand the Russians, who
hat e hitherto found attacks on Bulgaria
byway of the Lower Dunube unprofita
ble, might take the more roundabout way
of an advance by the west through Ser
bia. The Danube forms the Roumano-
Serbian frontier for some thirty miles
below the Austrian line, and at Glabowa
there remain some ruins of a bridgebuilt i
by Trajan, indicating an available point
of passage. In this connection it is
j worth remembering that in the last
| French campaign the Germans placed
, much dependence on the lines of the old
! Roman military roads, and found them
to lead infallibly to advantageous fords
and crossings. To this plan there are
two objections. The eastern districts of
J Hungary and Transylvania here form a
- salient angle, commanding Little Wal
lachia, and giving the Austrq-Hungarian
j forces a position of immense advantage
| whenever Austria chooses to unsheath
i her slow but heavy sword and command
[ the peace. This may be the ambition of j
Austria in the present contest; if it is, it
| may be considered certain that the lius
] sian Government has anticipated it. In
I 1854 the Czar Nicholas placed his army
I in this cooped-up corner, against the
| judgment and protest- of his skilled Geu
j oral, Prince Paskiewitsch, whose advice
J was to withdraw instantly and pounce
j upon Silistria. In any case an army en
tering there would find itself under the
guns of Widdin, and could hardly vent
ure upon turning the Western Balkans
by the great highway of Belgrade,
Nitsch, Sofia, Philippopolis and Adrian- j
ople before it had reduced that great I
fortress. If it pressed forward without
reducing that place its left flank would
be exposed to attack.
The rising of the Christian population
of Bulgaria is apparently counted upon
as an element of Russian strength. The
Christians may make common cause with
the invaders—but they refused to do so
in 1828-9. though the Russians offered to
arm them—and their dislike for the
Turkish regiment partial toleration mod
ified by massacre is likely to be gravely
tempered by their vivid recollection of
recent events following close on their
suspected sympathy with Serbia.
The whole matter may be summed up
thus, in the words of that very competent
critic, M. Ernest Dottain:
The occupation of Bulgaria is not so sim
ple an operation as many think. It implies
the continual passage of a stream difficult to
cross, the reduction of four or five great
fortresses and the defeat of a large army in
the field. It is possible that if Russia em
ploys all the resources of her vast empire in
such an enterprise she will in the long run
exhaust the resources of Turkey and subju
gate her. but this would without a doubt
take two or three campaigns onerous to her
self as well as to Turkey—and Russia needs
a prompt and decisive triumph, such a tri
umph as is not likely to be had in a war: of
positions against a Turkish army.
On the whole, it is not very probable
that the Grand Duke Nicholas within the
next month will have got very far on his
way to water his horses in the Bos
phorus; and, failing this, the Russian
prospect of ending the war in a single
earVtpaign will become so clouded over
that Europe will be compelled to con
front the necessity of dealing with two
exasperated Empires, both of them finan
cially ruined. And that will mean a
general European war.— N. Y. World.
Old Tom’s Offering.
"When a man has grown old and de
graded on whisky, ’and when he has
made the gutter his bed for long years,
the world is apt to hate him.~ it has
been so with old Tom Shanahan, who
has been a sot for so many years that
one can’t remember. Everybody be
lieved that all his sentiment had been
drowned out by whisky —that his man
hood was gone—that his intelligence was
only sufficient to keep him from under
the wheels of passing vehicles. And yet
what did old Tom do last Sunday? Half
drunk, as usual, he blundered into a
saloon on Woodbridge street and found
that a child lay dead in a back room.
Men.and women were passing in to take
a last look, and most of them had some
offering for the dead. One woman had a
bit of lace, another put a flower in the
the dead child’s fingers, and some of the
men also had flowers. Old Tom bent
over the coffin to better see the pale
face, but one of the women pulled him
away and said:
“ How dare you look into the face of
that dead child—you, with your red eyes,
bloated cheeks and foul breath! Y’ou are
no better than a beast!”
The old sot staggered out doors, more
embarrassed than anyone had ever seen
him before, and, sitting down with his
back to the wall, he seemed to ponder
over the woman’s words. By. and by,
when they thought him asleep, he got up
and walked away. In half an hour he
came back, having in his hand a half
blown dandelion, which he had plucked
from some sunny spot beside the fence.
He walked into the room unopposed,
j straight up to the coffin, and, placing his
poor flower on the dead child’s breast, he
looked around and said:
“It is all I have to give.”
Men and women regarded him writh
curious stares. Something in their hall
pitying, half-sarcastic smiles fired him
with sudden resolution, and, standing
over the coffin, he hoarsely said:
“I know what you think of me, but
I’m going to do better! Over this dead
body I solemnly promise never to drink
another drop, so help me God!”
And he has not up to this time, and
there is such an earnest look on his face
and such a different look in his eyes, that
men look after hint as he passes by and
whisper:
“Wouldn’t it be strange if old Tom
should come to life again?”— Detroit
Free Press.
New York’s Jack Ketch.
The man who has filled the office of
hangman in New Y'ork and Brooklyn for
the past quarter of a century lives in the
Wallabout neighborhood, Brooklyn. He
is a medium-sized, dark-skinned, black
haired man, who is known as Henry
Isaacs, a false name, adopted to screen
his family from notoriety. Isaacs’ first
execution was in 1853, when Nicholas
Hewlett and William Saul, two river
pirates, were hanged in New Y'ork,
Since that time he has officiated at the
execution of the follow ing criminals: At
the Tombs—James L. Hoar, John Dor
sey, James Rogers, James Stephenson,
John Cummings, Nathaniel Gordon, the
pirate, William Hawkins, Bernard Friery,
George Wagner, Jerry O'Brien, John
Real, John Thomas, William Foster and
Michael Nixon; and in Brooklyn—Henry
Rogers and the murderers of Otero, Gon
zales and Pellicier.
Isaacs had been engaged to execute
Rubenstein, but lost his fee ($250) by the
death of his prospective victim. . He fol
lows what is known as the Mar wood
method of hanging, in which the knot is
placed under the chin, so that death may
be produced by breaking the neck, in
stead of by strangulation. He always
ascertains the weight of the person to be
executed, and provides a rope of corre
sponding strength. He usually provides
a halter about half an inch in diameter,
made of the best hemp, which he satu
rates with a chemical fluid prepared by
himself. He charges according to the
service rendered. If he only cuts the
rope he charges $l5O, but if he furnishes
certain material and an assistant he re
ceives $250. Isaacs is a carpenter by
trade.— N. Y. World.
—Sadyk Pasha, lately the Turkish Am
bassador at Paris, hearing of “ guaran
tees,” told the following anecdote: A
man at Rustchuk was bargaining with a
poulterer for a pair of fowls. At last
he said: “ Well, 1 will take them at your
price, only 1 have not my money w ith
me.” "Oh, then,"said the dealer, “there
is an end to it.” “ Not at all. The bargain
is struck. I will only take one of your
fowls, and will you leave the other as
guarantee.'
Maine topers buy tin doughnuts filled
with whisky.
Americans Abroad.
The cheap excursion tickets to Europe
have been the means of presenting some
singular specimens of our Countrymen to
foreign eyes. Curtis Guild, in his book
of European travel, " Abroad Again,”
gives a pen-picture of some of these
characters met in Europe—descriptions
of which have hitherto generally been
deemed caricatures:
Foreign travel is doubtless a most val
uable instructor; and few- Americans of
average common sense can travel to any
extent, either at home or abroad, with
out adding to their stock of knowledge,
and receiving a certain amount of prac
tical instruction of real value. But cer
tainly I have met American parties abroad
as unfit for foreign travel, and who would
receive as little intellectual benefit from
it, as a student in mathematics who has
advanced no further than simple addi
tion would from a week’s instruction in
a calculation of logarithms.
There were men from Vermont who
had never seen the Green Mountains; from
Western New Y'ork, who couldn’t tell you
the height of Niagara Falls; an Illinois
farmer who had never been in any city
in his life except Indianapolis. Great
tall fellows, with mourning-clothed fin
ger-nails, who chewed tobacco and spat
on the marble floors of cathedrals, and
w r ere the very types of character which
English writers have described in their
books on America as representatives of
our country—descriptions which may
have vexed us, and caused more than
one to avow them to be caricatures, over
drawn sketches, or malicious representa
tions.
One of this class came into our rail
way carriage between Munich and Vi
enna—a tall, somewhat ungainly-looking
man, with the national characteristics of
the American countryman as prominent
as if the word had been painted upon
his forehead. In the railway carriage,
beside ourselves, was an Englishman
and his daughter, our pleasant traveling
companions, on both of whom the new
| comer soon opened fire, beginning with
I the usual fusilade of questions:
“Y’ou ain’t an American, are ye?”
“ No, sir, I am not.”
“ English, I s’pose?”
" Y es.”
“ Going to Y’ienny?”
“Yes."
“ I s’pose ye mean to go to the YVorld’s
Fair there, don’t ye?”
“ I think we shall go to the Exposition
' while we are there.”
“ What hotel shall you put up at?”
“ YVe shall go to the Hotel Metropole.”
“ Haow?”
“The Metropolitan Hotel,” I volun
teered, in explanation for my English
friend, who was beginning to be amused.
The dialogue was resumed.
“Oh, ah! Yes. I don’t understand
French; but our party —we’re the eddica
tional excursion party —have an inter
preter, who goes ’long with us all the
time and translates everything.”
Englishman—Sir, you are very fortu
nate.
Yankee—Y’aas. YVhole trip from
Amerikee and back only S4OO.
Eng. —Very reasonable.
Y'au.—Big pile of money fur some on
us; but I was bound to come. Ever been
to Vienny before?
Eng.—Y'es.
Y’au. —How big a place is it?
Eng.—lts a city of 600,000 inhabit
ants.
Y T an.—You don’t say so! By the by,
! Vienny is the capital of Ostrey, ain’t it?
Eng.—lt is.
Y'an.—YVhich way are you goin’ when
you leave Vienny?
Eng.- —North.
Y'an. —Travelin’ for pleasure or busi
ness?
Eng.—Principally for pleasure,
j [The reader will please to recollect
; that this is no fancy sketch, but a report
| of a conversation which actually oc
j curred as here set down.]
Y'an.—What part of England do you
come from?
Eng.—The city of London.
Y'an. —In business there?
Eng. —No, sir, I am not.
Y’an. —Carryin’ on any business out of
town?
Eng.—No, sir.
Y’an.—What is your business when you
are to home?
Eng. —I am not in any business.
Y’an.—Oh! Retired?
Eng.—Y’es.
[One would have thought that the
American, having now run his quarry
completely down, would have “retired”
also; but no, he returned to the charge
again]
Y’an.—What business was you in be
' fore you retired?
Eng. —I was a book-publisher.
Yan. —In business long?
Eng. —Forty years.
Y'an. —Wal, you’ve got some time yet
to enjoy yourself. How old do you call
yourself?
[At this point the good-natured Briton,
who had been more amused than vexed
by this impertinent catechism, changed
his tactics and replied to his interrogator’s
last question in the true American style
—by asking another—and continued to
follow him up after the same fashion he
had been attacked himself, as follows:]
Eng.—How old should you think me?
Y’an —Wal, about a matter of sixty
five or seven.
Eng.—How old are you?
Y’an.—Give a guess.
Eng.—Forty-two. Are you an Ameri
can?
Y'an.—Yes, sir (straightening up).
Eng.—ln what part of America were
you born.
Y’an.—Wal, I was raised in Vermont,
but I moved to Elmiry, N. Y'.
Eng.—Married?
Y’an.—Y’es, sir; merried when I was
twenty five.
Eng.—Any children?
Y'an.—No, sir; never hed none.
Eng.—Wife traveling with you?
Yan. —No, sir; I’m a widower.
EDg. —Ah! excuse me; but what’s your
business when you are at home?
Y’an. —I’m a milkman—l carry round
milk.
Eng. (smiiing)—But what will your
customers do for milk while you are
away?
Y'an.—Oh, I sold out my route, which
was a good one, fur five hundred dollars, |
and took four ou’t and bought one of !
them (look tickets to come out here to 1
the Vienny Exhibition.
This milk revelation was too much for '
me, who had been stilling my.laugbter ]
by every possible device as the unmerci
ful Englishman went on with his quiz
zing of the enemy; and at this point I
was compelled to seek relief in an ex
plosion of laughter, in which he joined,
and, to our no small astonishment, the
milkman also, who remarked that it was
a good joke; and he “guessed the feller
that bought the route would hev easier
work deliverin’milk to some of his cus
tomers than collectin’ their bills.”
The above dialogue was no fancy
sketch, and its hero was an actual sam
ple of an American excursionist; and it
is not the only one of this description
either that the facilities of travel, the
cheap-ticket system and Vienna Exhibi
tion attracted from their native land, for
1 have encountered several others equally
amusing. One who rushed up to the
carriage of a party of us who were leav
ing the hotel to say that he was going to
travel with a currier, and so far from
seeing the point when asked by a gentle
man if he wanted to improve his ac
quaintance in the leather trade seriously
replied he never had any dealings in that
line. Another, in Rome, on being asked
to join a party to visit the Colosseum, re
plied: “Colosseum! what’s that?”
“ Why, the old Roman circus, you
know.”
“ O yes! Is there a performance
this evening? YVhat time does it
begin?”
An explanation thatthe circus referred
to was unlike the modern one, with
horses, clowns and acrobats, had to be
gently hinted to this ambitious sight
seer to prevent misapprehension anddis
appointment.
Spring Work With Poultry.
Now that the rigors of winter are
somewhat relaxed and the earth has cast
off her white mantle, hens are very busy
peeping into every nook and corner,
prating, with joyful anticipations, of
I coming events; and while warming up
the enthusiasm of their keeper, Ihey
seem to be asking for special care and
attention.
The true method of managing all kinds.
| of stock is to take advantage of their
nature and assist it to the advancement
of their keeper's interests. To induce a
hen to lay, let the nest be partly shaded.
1 When she wants to sit, if you wish to
1 remove her, do it at night and make her
! surroundings as nearly as possible like
! those of the nest she laid in. On a farm
where there are many nooks and corners,
and where the farmer has some one to
attend to his fowls, boxes may be put up
1 in a number of places, and the fowls will
i select and lay, each in her favorite nest,
and when the time for sitting has come,
! each will go to her accustomed nest
1 without much changing or confusion;
i but where the accommdations are more
I limited more attention must be given to
: the nests.
If fowls have liberty, they need not
now have warm, soft food. YVhen the
snow has disappeared, they will find
! gravel, seed, a little green food, etc.; but
J should they be confined, the winter’s
I care must, of course, be continued. A
; lot of oyster shells, thrown down on a
i road or yard over which horses travel, is
! very good for poultry on a farm. Pure
| water is essential, and should there be
1 any stagnant pools of dirty water about
the barnyard, fill them up immediately.
Drinking impure water is a source of
, disease that should never be tolerated.
i Animal food should be given until earth
worms make their appearance. Feed
liberally with grain and your hens will
I generously reward your liberality.—Jiu
ral New Yorker.
A Close Calculation.
The San Francisco Bulletin says: “A
novel question, involving the statute of
; limitations, was raised in the Twelfth
. District Court this morning. On the
15th of July, 1872, Jonathan Bickerstafl"
gave his promissory note for $1,528 to
11. K. Curtis, payable on the 15th of
November, 1872. The matter was al
lowed to run along until Nov. 15, 1576,
when the assignee of the note brought
suit against the maker of it. His at
i torney, N. Duprey, raised the question
j on demurrer that the claim is barred by
I the statute of limitations under section
j 337 of the Code of Civil Procedure. lie
; made the point that the year 1876 being
j leap-year, the action was commenced
i one day too late, as the law recognizes
but 365 days in a year, unless otherwise
provided in the statute or contract, and
there were 366 days in 1876. It was
contended by H. Wilkins, for the other
side, that the note was executed before
the code took effect, in 1873, therefore
days of grace are allowed. Mr. Duprey
replied that the statute amending the
provisions as to days of grace was ap
proved and took effect in March, 1872.
Judge Dangerfield remarked that there
were so many decisions of our Supreme
Court bearing upon the statute of limit
ations that he would take the matter un
der consideration, and suggested that
counsel furnish points and authorities.”
The following exquisite passage is
commended to all novel readers. YVe
withhold the name of the tale from
which it is taken: “Her large, limpid,
lustrous eyes filled with big, billowy
tears, Lurline leaned over the dying auc
tioneer’s pillow. ‘Lurline,’ he sfghed,
feebly. ‘ Aye, Alonzo,’ she answered.
‘ Lurline,’ he said, ‘meet mein the sweet
buy and boy!’ His breath came fainter
and with more difficulty. In a moment
more he was going, going, gone! ‘Heis
dead,’ said the doctor. ‘ Y’es, he has
gone, absolutely and without reserve,’
sobbed the wife.”
Some feminine letter writter has been
talking about a Louisiana Senator’s
“ lovely blue eyes, rosy complexion and
beautiful hair, which looks so soft and
white as a snow-flake”; whereupon the
Times of New Orleans gently says: “ Ben
atbr Saunders is doubtless a very able
man, but his eyes are not a ‘ lovely blue’;
his complexion is a brick-dusty red, and
his hair, what there is of it, is a rusty
carroty red, not often combed. Barring
these slight inaccuracies, the description
is correct enough."
—Statistics show that more elderly mar
riages take place in Kentucky than in
any other State of the Union. Nothing
is thought on either side of the house of
tying the knot at three score and ten,
and along there. Influence of blue
grass.