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The Bowbells tribune. [volume] (Bowbells, Ward Co., N.D.) 1899-1969, December 01, 1899, Image 7

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A QSaASTIC PIB.
Bow Ksbim Honored a Retiming
Member of the Tenth.
Retaining soldiers of tbe famous
Twentieth Kansas, who have just
reached home from the Philippines,
unanimously agree that one great
thing is lacking In army life. Tbe
American soldiers would be content
were one want satisfied. Tbey want
pie—mother's pie—issued as rations.
But the army quartermaster knows a|
little of pie as a Chinaman. While
otfeer rations come regularly and tol
erably well cooked, these soldiers say
that the great aching void for pie grew
apace, until now some of the boys
would gladly give a month's pay for a
good big pie.
Arthur Philips, who lives at Mul
Tane, Kan., was a private in Company
H. Tenth Pennsylvania regiment, and
Is half-back on the W. and J. football
team of Washington, Pa., came home
recently and was greeted by the towns
people in a unique and fitting manner.
He had previously written home in re
gard to pie. When the neighbors
learned he was nearing home they de
termined to arrange a satisfactory wel
come. Accordingly they baked*a pie
four feet wide and six feet long and
filled it with apple
mince meat aild
everything else that goes to make up
a good pie.
A big reception was held in the opera
house, and the pie laid on a large table
on the stage. No one else was allowed
to eat the pie, and, be it said to the
6oldier's credit, he devoured the pie
during the night, and actually called
for more. This should be a warning to
friends who desire to please heroes
of the Philippine campaign.—Leslie's
Weekly.
DR. J. H. RINDL.AUB. Specialist.
Bye, Bar, Noie and Throat,
Fargo, N. D.
Bother Pay.
A few weeks ago a young Irishman
applied for a situation as a car con
ductor in one of the principal towns in
Scotland.
The manager thought him fit for the
work, and asked him what pay he
wanted.
"Bedad!" he replied, "never moind the
pay—j«st give me the job, and Oi'll
have a car of my own in a fortnight."
—Answers.
Indispensable.
"Yes, yes," said the manager wearily,
"I know you have a fine wardrobe."
"Well,", said the sensational actress,
"don't you think costumes count for
anything?"
"Of course. I realize that the ward
robe Is a necessity. You've got to have
something to take off in the disrobing
scene."—Washington Star.
When a singer's voice fails he can no
longer take up his notes.
Use
It
"I hive used Ayer's Hair
Vigor for
a
great many years
ana it lias been very satisfactory
to me in every -way. 1 lave
recommended it to
a
great many
of my friends «nd tbey hive all
been perfectly satisfied vith it"
Mrs. A. Edwards, San Fran
cisco, Cal., Feb. 9,1899.
Talk
About It
That's always the way with
our Hair Vigor. When per
sons use it they are always *0
highly pleased with it that tbey
tell their friends about it
If your hair a short too
this, splits at tbe ends, is rough,
or is falling out, our Hair Vigor
will perfectly satisfy you.
If your hair is just a little
Sair
avor perfectly white, Ayer's
Vigor will bring back to it
all the dark, rick color it bad
years and years ago.
Write the Doctor
If yon do not obtain *11 tba benefits you
desire from the use of the Vigor, write
the Doctor about it. Ha will tell yon jtwt
the right thine to do, and 'will send you
his book on the Hair
sad
Scalp it you
request it. Address,
Dr. J. C. An®, Lowell, Has*.
WEWWIMSS
Stock. Best Wan*. Pay Waskly.
IBK^KWEUiNDBUSICO. W «V. mm
«rwCrtL£MI&& PENSION
IF
BICKFORD, Washington, D. C* they
will receive quick replies. B.5thN.H.Vola,
itaS20thCorps. ProiecntlngClsln ilwn
S»85 StOT* for $21.41. Sara the
vttilon' Proflt-«aT*tM WholMftlen
it, Tak* ftdvanUf* of oar contract
itttehaM. Other* hmw advanced (heir
prirc* of Parlor Stoves, bat our contract
with the manufacturer* compete them
to ornish as with theee« eo we can eeii
then At a small profit at I2L4L $24.27 *n4
I27.7L YOU would bo prood of eithef
of these parlor stoves. The pictures
.ivobot a faintideaof their
oioganoe.
Sent 3.0. D. on receipt of
hour la a
PATENTS.
Llat of Patent* luted Last 'Week to
Northwestern Inventors.
Peter M. Bang, Dawson, Minn., bag
fastener Thomas Cusick, Cogswell, N.
D., car coupling John C. Forsburg,
Willmar, Minn., curling tongs heater
Laurits Hansen, St. Martin, Minn.,
horse collar John L. Owens, Minneap
olis, Minn., draft equalizer Charles S.
Saxton, Blue Earth City, Minn., run
ner for vehicles Claude A. P. Turner,
Minneapolis, Minn., steel ore bin Rob
ert J. Walker, Moorhead, Minn., feed
board for roller mills.
Merwin, Lothrop & Johnson, Patent Attor
neys, 911 & 912 Pioneer Press Bldff., St. Paul
The Only Thing Lacking*
The somewhat previous letter of a
"Christmas gift" brother to his former
employer reads as follows:
"Marse Tom, ef you gwine ter gimme
Chris'mus gif' dis Chris'mus I wish
you please, suh, sen' me a overcoat.
Marse Tom, ef I had one er dese over
coats what reach ter de groun' I'd feo
ter preachin' 'fo sundown!"—Atlanta
SlOO Reward SIOO.
The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to cure in all its
stages, and that is Catarrh. Hall's Catarrh
Cure is the only positive cure now known to the
medical fraterni y. Catarrh being a constltu
tional disease, requires a constitutional treat
ment. Hall's Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system, thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease, and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and
assisting nature in doing its work. The pro
prietors have so much faith in its curative
powers that tbey offer One Hundred Dollars for
any case that it falls to cure. Send for list of
Testimonials.
Address F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists 75c.
Hall's Family Fills are the best
The Omnipresent Youth.
Minister—Good morning, Willie,
your papa at home?
Is
Willie (aged seven, to his father in
the library)—Say, paw, did you see him
first V
Minister—Why do you ask your
father such a strange question, my
boy?
Willie—Well, you see, paw and Mr.
Bilkins are playin' poker this evenln,*
and I heerd paw say he bet you wud'nt
see him if he saw you first.—Ohio
State Journal.
The work of cutting down the grades
on the Chicago division of tMe Balti
more and Ohio Kail Road will be be
gun at once, and most of the heavy
work will have been completed by
spring.
The Chicago division work Includes
reductions between Tiffin, O., and At
tica, where a 28-foot grade will be re
duced to 18 feet, for a distance of 16
miles, the heaviest cut being at Repub
lic.
At Teegarden, Ind., there are 175,000
cubic yards to be removed, to reduce
the grade from 28 to 16 feet. Between
Garrett and Ripley, Ind., there will be
a relocation of the line for seven miles,
reducing a 26-foot grade to 16 feet,
botli east and west bound.
These reductions will cost about
5300,000, but will allow an increase of
nearly 30 per cent in train loading
when they are completed.
An Appreciative Comment.
"That little boy of Blinx's is a won
derfully bright chap."
"The one who recited?"
"Yes."
"One of the brightest children I ever
met. I'll bet that when he gets to be
as old as his father he'll be too smart
to make his children get up and speak
|)ieces."Wasliington Star.
He Wants His Boy.
A colored citizen who has a boy in
the Philippines lias written to the
president to ask that his son be grant
ed furlough in order that he may spend
Christinas at home.
"Do, Mister Kinley—ef you please,
suh. sen' John home fer Chris'mus,
kase his mammy is des a-pinln' fer de
sight'er 'im. En ef he ain't done draw
ee! all 'is money, please, suh, sen' dat
on ahead er him, so's we kin have a
Chris'mus gif en dinner fer 'im w'en
he walk in de do'. Sen' him right off,
ef yer please, suh, en I'll vote fer you
nex' time dee lak I did las'."—Atlanta
Constitution.
Are Ton Vilng Allen's Foot-Basef
It is the only cure for Swollen,
Smarting, Burning, Sweating Feet,
Corns and Bunions. Ask For Allen's
Foot-Ease, a powder to be shaken into
the shoes. At all Druggists and Shoa
Stores. 25c. Sample sent FREE. Ad
dress Allen S. Olmsted, LeRoy, N. Y.
A Ready Retort.
The Vulture—It's hardly polite to
read your paper at table, Mr. Hall
room.
The Victim—I know, Mrs. Skinnem,
but it takes my mind off what I'm eat
ing.—Wbat-to-Eat.
A Prlnee of Commerce.
John M. Smyth, head of the great
house The John M. Smyth Co., has
built up, by years of hard work, the
greatest institution of its kind in the
world. His name is a household word
in Chicago.
Their "ad." in another part of this
paper should be of Interest to every
one. Get their catalogue of everything
to eat, frear or use.
What Waa Killing Him.
Beggar—Will you please give me six
pence, sir? I am on my way home to
die.
Gentleman (handing him tbe money)
—I don't object to giving you sixpence
for so worthy a purpose at that, but
your breath smells horribly of whisky.
Beggar—I know it does, sir whisky's
what's killing me.—London Tropical
Times.
The Beat People.
It is easy enough to get the best peo
ple to attend the primaries if we only
go the right way about it. We hav«
only to hold tbe primaries at 5 o'clock,
serve tea and keep everybody else
awAj.—Detroit Journal.
+*PMCE.t
S0K*«BT«JECIMC'~
UTMCMU&.KI"
STATE SIZEIF
gamuwmm.
97c,
»ou te
car bafaace to your banker or freight
a small one for beat
FBEE.
CLEAR YOUR
LAND
INKS
.itniluin
|—BabjCtrrlMM.
FREE
Catalocaea
for s 2 esnt
S TUMPS,
stampi A—
Cornitun.
B—Harnsas
Knplsmenta.
id Vehicles
r-
and Patent Mad
lelnas.
Musical Inatrnnuuit.. H-Onaa amd Sfwlng
seat express
X. X. BOBEBXS' SOPFUr HOU8K MIUMJAPOU*. 10%.
I
DIDN'T HIT BOB TOOMBS.
How a Bis Georgia Politician Unwit
tingly Saved His Own Iilfe.
Don Bain gave me a new Toombs
story recently, says the Atlanta Con
stitution. I call it new because it haa
never been printed. One night, when
the legislature was in session, the old
Markham house was crowded witii
statesmen and loungers. Gen. Toombs
was there. Something had gone wrong
at the capitol and he was mad. As
usual, he took no pains to conceal his
sentiments. When Bain entered the
hotel he found the general talking ex
citedly with a crowd around him.
Toombs objected to something said or
done in the legislature and proceeded
to "cuss out" the whole body. The
eloquent talker was perfectly reckless.
He threw off brilliant epigrams, epi
thets and outbursts of profanity until
he almost equaled a volcano in the
force, fury and fire of his eruptions.
The loungers listened and laughed.
They ehjoyed it tremendously and
looked at the politicians to see how
they stood it. Among thcoe present
was a member from a middle Georgia
county. He was a giant in stature,
tall, broadshouldered and muscular.
He was not in a gocd humor and
Toombs irritated him. Finally he re
sented the general's ren:arks. "I'll be
if I stand your talk any longer,"
he saiv. "You are too personal, and if
you repeat your statement i'il hit you!''
This interested the crowd. The legis
lator towered over everybody, ready
to strike the general. Toombs, in his
fearless way, was about to say some
thing when several of his friends gent
ly drew him into the elevator and took
him to his room. "I vas just about to
hit him," remarked the legislator. Just
then a very small, delicate-loolcing
man, with a pale face and mild blue
eyes, walked up to the big politician.
"Yes," said the little man, quietly, "I
saw that you were about to hit him.
That's why I came up." "I don't un
derstand," replied the other. "I got
close to you," continued the little man,
"because I was going to kill you if you
struck Gen. Toombs. I am fixed for
it, and if you had touched him I would
have shot you through the heart!"
Saying this he tapped his hip pocket.
The tall legislator in some confusion
said something apologetic and explan
atory and remembered an engagement
elsewhere. "That little man," said
Bain in conclusion, "was Col. John S.
Hart, one of the bravest cavalry offi
cers in the confederate service. He
was afraid of nothing, and he meant
just what he said. He would have
killed that man if he had struck
Toombs."
LITTLE BAYARDS OF THE STREET
Necessity Has Made Their laun
Very Observant.
Extinction of the Maori*
Judging from a recent report of the
registrar general of New Zealand,
that fine martial race, the Maoris, is
going the way of all aborigines whose
country has been colonized by the
whites. They may not become abso
lutely extinct for a few more decades,
but their doom is sealed. Among the
causes officially assigned for the thin
ning of their numbers are the high in
fantile mortality resulting from im
proper food, exposure, and the want
of ordinary care, constitutions debil
itated by past debauchery, the belief
in native doctors and neglect of the
sick, and the adoption of European
habits and costumes, leading to dis
eases of the respiratory organs. A
Maori M. A., Mr. Nagata, in address
inga recent conference of his country
men, said that drink was pauperizing
them and sapping their vitality.—Lon
don Chronicle.
The Crying Need.
Wireless telegraphy, horseless car
riages and chainless bicycles are all
very well in their way, but what the
world really yearns for is a noiseless
baby.
Experience.
Mrs. Hicks—Do you have any trouble
in keeping your children clean? Mrs.
Wicks—Not a bit.
troit Free Press.
»w.
*&i&vexaNmitm 8
Eyes
Between the woman whose business
takes her much around town and the
wideawake urchins belonging to the
newsboy and bootblack fraternity
there exist feelings of great cordiality,
says the New York Commercial Ad
vertiser. "Necessity has made the
street boy's eyes very observant and
somehow he always sees the way to
help any one out," declares one en
thusiastic friend of the helpful gamin.
"The other day I came downtown, en
cumbered with a dress-suit case in one
hand and an umbrella in the other. I
was also carrying a parcel under my
arm. To my discomfort I felt the
package slipping forward to a point
where it would soon fall. I had a
notion to deposit the suit case on the
wet ground to free one hand when a
newsboy darted to my side and gave
just the little push needed to replace
the parcel under my arm. I am sure,"
triumphantly added the speaker, "that
there are few men of my acquaintances
who would have seen my dilemma or
thought to relieve it." During the
strike few copies of the boycotted
papers were sold to those women who
are indebted to the newsboy for many
friendly offices, such as the restora
tion of dropped packages, or, greatest
favor of all, that shrill whistle which
attracts the attention of the inatten
tive gripman. One such, returning
from her vacation in a region where
New York papers were rare, eagerly
hailed a newsboy with the question:
"Is the strike oft? Did you get what
you wanted?" The small boy shook
his head. "Compr'mised," he said,
and then gloomily, "de leaders was
bought off."
I don't try.—Dc-
KIDNEYS
AND BOWELS
SJ
OVERCOMES
|y,
Didn'n Work.
"What a beautiful lounge!"
"Yes. That's a birthday present
from my husband. He always gives
me a present that costs him as many
dollars as I am years old."
"That's nice of him. It reconciles
one to growing old. By the way, 1
bave a lounge at home like that, but
not nearly as fine, and we paid $38 for
It."
"Is that all? Thife—this didn't, cost
nearly as much as that."—Chicago
Tribune.
Any feeling that takes a man away
from his home is a traitor to the house
hold.—H. W. Beecher-
'MAILORDER
HOUSE.
cn nave
1514.25
i^mmm
iw^r
ai'iu.iuxi "k i) vwi
V"»ji 1
GENTLY
sTHEySTE
EFFECTUALLY
JOHNMPfYTTLCO.
*AMMOTM
fltP
dAc
fiABITUAL perman entj
ICIAL
BVy-THEGENV/INE-MAN'FD-ey-
"Do you really have four distinct sea
sons in Michigan?" asked the summer
resorter of an old resident.
"Oh, yes summer and winter and
winter and summer."—Detroit Free
Press.
Her Way of Getting It.
Wife (earnestly)—George, dear, I
bave prayed so fervently of late for a
tailor-made gown that I feel it would
be flying in the face of Providence not
to go and get measured at once.—
Brooklyn Life.
The man who does no harm in th'e
world does but little good.
The Be8t
TDIAI VVealiip this raaclnnoC.O.D..subject to approval, on receipt of two
Oil IIAI9 I 111 AL, dollars. If, on examination jrou are convinced that we are saving
you$25or$30on agent's price, pay tno balance and freight charges then try i"
the machine. If not satisfied at any time within60days send the machine
back to
us et our expense and we will refund the full purchase price.
ufrTxm
TOtLOGUE
Sewing
Machine on Earth
At the Price, $14.2S for Our
"MELBA" Sewing Machine.
A high-arm, high-grade
machine equal
to what others are asking $25.00 to $15.00
for. Guaranteed by us for ao years from
date of purchase, against any imperfec
tion in material or worltman^ip. Ths
to made ol the best Irdn and is
of antlque.tfan wwuh*. a, i»
IS WTVU
drawers all handsomely carred and with
nickel-plated ring pulls. Tbe mechan
ical construction Is equal to that of
any machine regardless of price. All
working parts are of the best oil-tem
pered tool steel, every bearing perfectly
fitted and adjusted so as to make the
runnlnK qualities the lightest, most per*
feet ana nearest noiseless of any machine
made. This Sewing Machine has all the latest improvements. It makes a perfect juid unl
form LOCK 5TITCHa and will do the best work on either jthe, lightest muslins
metal, japanned box,
FURNISHED FRBB with each machine. ,. ..
I
j-r§
3
RANC/Scq VOFff.r
CAb. N V*
Our Seasons.
or heaviest
mt we are saving
$14.26
which is listed at lowest wholesale prfew
to eat wear and use,is furnish
10? to partlj
and as evi
ed on receipt of only io=
.postageor expressage
W good faith the 109 is allowed on first
tpurchase amounting to *199 or above, a
Kni
6u» H6hthlv *BQCEWV
Mitt Ukr
htti ll3
ymm
W. L. DOUGLAS
B3&3.SO SHOES u»A'°»
Worth $4 to $6 compared,
with other makes, m.
Indoroed bj over
vearen.
The genuine bave W. L.l
Douglas' name and price
stamped on bottom. Take
no substitute claimed to
as good. Your dealer^
should keep them—ifu
not, we will send a pair*
on receipt of price. State
kind ofleathsr, site, and width, plain
cap toe. Catalogue A free.
W. L. DOUGLAS SHOE CO.. BraektM, 1
INVESTORS
of small or large sums of money can and no
OPPORTUNITY
that will yield tbem so large aaditesdy an
Income
from money Invested with
ABSOLUTE 8AFETY
equsl to that we offer. TOO ABsm MO Ul.
BILITY and run norlaki. Send for explanatory
pamphlet, mailed free. Hlgbest references.
INVESTORS CO-OPERATIVE CO.
203 BROADWAY, NEW YORK.
$
WHEATS
WHEAT will sell at 11.00 or more per bushel be
fore May 1st, 1900. A postal card will bring yon am*
reasons for making tbls statement, also Booklet—
"How to Sell a Crop and Still Have It." mall—
FREE. Bank Heferences.
W. H. HAMMOND A CO., Brokers,
Corn Exchange, Minneapolis, Minn
DR. SETN ARNOLD'S
CODGH
has stood the test of 80 years
and is still the Best Couch
Remedy Sold. Cures when
other remedies fall. Tastes I#
11 Elk
good: children like it. Sold
by all druggists—25centa.
KILLfcH
INVENTORS
Send to-day for our handsomely engraved
88th anniversary work on patentB. FREE.
MASON, FEN WICK & LAWRENCE,
Patent Lawyers. Washington, I.
ARTERSlNK
has a good, deep color
and does not strain the ejr
»Ko, 419.
Whea Auwerlag lavertlaeaeatf
Meatioa This ftpec.
§LW.

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