PEMBINA NORTH DAKOTA.
The higher you sit, the better you
The home is the headquarters of the
Consecration ,is not so much in get
ting, as in letting.
Usually there is more rattle than
anything else in a rattling speech.
The prizes men pursue are often but
the bubbles blown by their own breath.
You are good, your acquaintances
bad, and the rest of the world indiffer
The unexpected happens occasional
ly, but not so often as the expected
tails to happen.
There should be no objection to a
lady lifting her skirts a little over two
feet on a rainy day.
Even the engagement ring is the out
come of a trust, and the wedding ring
Is the natural result of a combination.
There are times when this world
seems very small—one of the times is
when you are trying to dodge your
President McKinley has received a
picture of the peace conference valued
at $20,000. It is supposed to be done
The practice of sending dead bodies
in trunks is objected to by the St.
Louis police. Live bodies, of course,
mre expected to look out for them
Huntsmen in Essex Union county,
England, have seen a snow white fox.
Probably, like most of the other foxes
hunted by these same sportsmen, it
will die a natural death.
Prof. G. H. Pepper, an archaeologist
Df renown, who has been excavating in
southern Colorado has discovered an
ancient Indian city with an area of 400
square miles and evidences that it
was once inhabited by about 9,000,000
people. The professor's announcement
will probably bring tears to numerous
aldermen of our larger cities as they
realize what afield for franchises they
would have had if they could have but
lived in that pre-historic town.
France has a new submarine boat
and will soon subject the invention to
a series of trial tests to prove its su«.
periority to recently constructed
American vessels. The chief trouble
with the submarine boats built up to
date has been their tendency to be en
tirely too submarine—to stay down
and refuse to come up again. If the
French have really made a boat which
will dive, swim under the surface and
arise when due the art of naval wai.
fare may be materially revolutionized.
Tae omnipresent microbe is making
its disturbing influence felt in strange
and unexpected quarters. Beards and
mustaches are placed under ban as be
ing nesting-places of errant intruders,
some of them pathogenic, or, in every
day parlance, having the power to pro
duce disease. Because of this, the
London Globe-states, on the authority
of a French scientific journal, that on
motion of the celebrated Dr. Hubenck,
of Breslau, the leading surgeons of
Austria and Germany are considering
the adopting of a rule requiring sur
geons to be clean-shaved, or to, at
least, as a preventive of danger, dis
infect the hair of the face before oper
ating. /Nothing is said as to the hair
of the head, but if this, too, is includ
ed in the Interdict, bald-headed sur
geons will enjoy a gratifying advan
The excessive. candor which charac
terizes the criticism of men who hold
public offices should not be considered
proof that Americans do not respect
«uch offices. Freedom of speech often
degenerates into flippancy, but when
-a public man who holds an important
p!ace of authority appears in his offi
«ial capacity the gathered crowds man
ifest a respectful deference. The high
est illustration is furnished when the
president of the United States is greet
«d at various points on a journey Par
tisan violence ceases. No voice, ,no
gesture expresses contempt or disre
spect, although in each assembly may
be many a political opponent whdse
private remarks may :be uncomplimen
tary ,to the verge of savageness. The
chief magistrate, who is officially the
representative of a£l the people, moves
through throngs which are cordial, ap
preciative, considerate. Antagonists
may not like the man. They do not
fail to honor the office. Tested with
respect it-o their opinon off exalted sta
tion, Americans are to fee judged by
their behavior, and not bjr their talk.
A curious point of copyright l^w has
been decided in England by the High
Court of Justice. It appears that a
volume of Lord Rosebery's speeches
was prepared, fs which were addresses,
or portions of addresses, that had been
reported from his lips for the London
Times. As they
first put in liter
ary or written form si the cost of that
journal, the court decided that they
wen tbe property ot th# Times, and
therefore granted an Injunction to re
bls lordship from appropriating
report of bis own words.
A pretty little Thespian said to me
the other day
"I must look out for a turkey job
"Why, what do you mean?" I
"What, haven't you heard of "tur
"I know plenty of actors who are
ge«rse, and a few actresses who are
ducks," was the reply.
"Oh, dear, no! Turkey actors are
those who only get an engagement for
Thanksgiving or Christmas or New
"And how long can they live on
"Well, it's better than nothing. I
engaged for twenty dollars and ex
penses last Christmas to play Alida
Bloodgood in 'The Streets of New
York.' Oh, what an experience!"
"Come in here,'' quoth I, "and over a
brimming bumper of chocolate or a
wild wassail of tea, tell me all."
And as we lunched together she told
"They sent for me from a dramatic
agency, said the money was sure and
almost any dresses would do. Alida is
the daughter of a banker in the play,
but they said that in the town where
we were to perform on Christmas night
they wouldn't know the difference.
However, I fixed up three changes
without spending a cent.
"We were all to meet the manager
at the ferry in Jersey City. lie didn't
"I WANT GREENBACKS
appear, but sent a message that he'd
see us in the town.
"We all paid our fares—I had forty
cents left—and reached the place
pretty well disgusted.
"At the hotel they viewed us sus
piciously, as we had no trunks, and
there me learned that the matinee had
been abandoned, no seats having been
"We had a/rehearsal instead, and it
was six o'cloek before I staggered into
the hotel, only to learn that we
couldn't have any supper unless we
paid for it individually.
"I sent word to our manager that
I had no money and shouldn't play
without my supper.
"This brought him to my door in a
hurry. He knocked, and entered with
a surprised air.
'Why, my dear/ he said, 'there's
'I think there is,' I replied, spirit
edly. 'If I don't have any supper I
don't go on.'
'Why, that'll be all right, my dear.
We'll go out together, and you shall
have supper with me.'
"And he laid bis arm affectionately
on my shoulder.
"I gave him a good push, and he fell
up against th: door. Oh, Uow angry he
'What are you doing?' he shouted.
'Rehearsing you in the character
of a gentleman,' said I, 'and you won't
"He v.-ent out and banged the door,
but a very nice supper came up to me
later. Still I remembered the gleam
of hate in his eyes and was
"We had a very good house that
night and fe't a little encouraged. As
1 stood looking out of the peephole in
the curtain, the property boy brushed
ag .inst me.
'I3eg pardon," he said, hurriedly,
'but I'wj been workin' so hard an'
nothin' to eat so that I'm as weak as a
rat. I've had no supper.'
'You shouldn't go without your
supper,' I said.
'I ain't got the price.'
"I gave him half of my forty cents.
'Go out and get a cup of coffee and
•'He took the money with a grateful
look ana disappeared.
"The play went on. So did he, for
that matter, for he played two parts,
poor little soul!
"At fie end of the third act he
knocked at my dressing room door.
'Say, you're Miss Hallett, ain't
'Well, I got somethin' I want to say
to yer on the quiet.'
"I finished dressing and came out.
'You certainly was sood to me,' he
said with a grin, "an* now it's turn
'What do you mean?'
'Just this. The boss—the manager,
I mean—just sent me up to the hotel to
get five dollars changed into pennies
an' nickels an* ten cent pieces.'
'Well, what has that to do with
'Plenty! He's a-makin- up salaries
out front in the office, an' he's a
langhin' with another feller. He's go
ing to pay you your salary in pennies
an' nickels an' dimes.'
'I don't believe it.'
'Well, you can. I heard him tell
the other feller, an' they think it's a
great joke. He's down on you for some
reason or other. Don't gimme away.'
"And so he disappeared again.
"So this was the manager's con
"Twenty dollars in nickels and pen
"I called the stage manager.
'Don't ring up the curtain, Mr.
ClarkV I said, 'for I shan't go on until
I get my salary.'
'But, my dear what I said,' was my
rejoinder, as I went back to my dress
"I thought of Patti refusing to put
on her slippers until poor old Mapleson
had produced $4,000—how she got two
thousand, simply put on one slipper
"Heavens! Suppose they had paid
her in nickels and pennies!
"The manager came dashing back.
'I want my salary.'
'Salaries will be paid immediately
after the performance.'
'Mine must be paid now or the per
formance will not be finished.'
"In awkward position he drew a
newspaper package from his overcoat
pocket. It seemed heavy, and I heard
the clink of coin.
'Awful lot of silver tonight,' he
said, as he handed me the parcel.
"I dropped it scornfully.
'I want greenbacks,' I said firmly.
'But I haven't
'Greenbacks or no performance,' I
"You should have seen his face!
"You should have seen the property
boy contorting himself with delight be
hind a 'set house.'
"With the 'smothered curse' of the
melodrama the manager picked up the
scattered coins and marched away. A
twenty-dollar bill came back to me in
a few moments and the play ended in
"But what do you think of that for
"I'm speechless," said I. "Encore
the oolong, please! I must steady my
If I Were lie, and He Was Me.
If I were only Santa Claus,
And Santa Claus was me,
I'd show to him just what a good
Old Santa I'd be.
I'd always bring the kind of toys
And story books for him
I'd find his stocking ev'ry year,
And fill it to the brim.
This year I'd bring a book or so
On how we conquered Spain,
Or how a boy pursued his foe
Across the Klondyke plain.
And boxing gloves—and, say, I guess
A pistol would be fine
IF I WERE HE.
To Klondyke with. And then—oh, yes,
A wheel for ninety-nine.
I'd bring *a. leather suit and hat—
The kind that cowboys wear.
Of bowie knives and things like tha
He'd have a lot to spare.
I'd fill his stocking then with all
^he candy it would hold,
where the packages were small
I'd fill in round with gold.
And when they saw how good I was
How happy folks would be
If I were only Santa Claus
And Santa Claus was me.
Those Christmas "C. O. IK*."
He was an active parcel boy.
From house to house he'd range
And whatsoe'er your bill might be
He always "had the ehange."
But cruel, coarse and changeless boyf
His efforts did deride,
Until, from utter loneliness.
The little fellow died!
LIVES IN MEMORY
CENTENNIAL OF WASHINGTON'S
DEATH COMMEMORATED. 3
Mount Vernon the Scene of Beauti
ful. Impressive and Appropriate
Ceremonies—Vast Concourse of
Masons Representing Every
Jurisdiction in the United States
and a Few From Foreiiin Coun
tries Participate In the Solemn
and Beautiful Ceremonies of the
Masonic Fraternity Eloquent
Tribute by President McKinley.
Washington. Doc. IG.-fWith solemn
pomp and circumstance, with cere
monies. beautiful, impressive nnd ap
propriate. in the presence of a dis
tinguished assemblage and in the fu'il
splendor of ideal autumn weather, the
centennial of the death of George
Washington was commemorated yes
terday at Mount Vernon. That Mount
Vernon should have been selected as
the scene of the exercises was peculiar
ly fitting. There it was that the hap
piest incidents of Washington's life oc
curred. In other parts he endured his
trials* on other fields he won his tri
umphs, but there, surrounded by those
whom he loved best, were spent the
restful, quiet, studious hours of his
life. There it was, too. that he sick
ened and died and there all that was
mortal of him was laid to eternal rest
in a mausoleum, overlooking a broad
sweep of the picturesque Potomac.
The ceremonies were elaborately
planned aud successfully carried to a
conclusion. They were conducted by
the Masonic fraternity and later by
the Red Men of the United States.
Charge of flic Masonic ceremonies, in
cident to the commemoration., was in
the hands of the Masons of Virginia,
it being in the Old Dominion that
Washington was obligated as a Mas
ter Mason and there that he partici
pated enthusiastically in Masonic work
and observances. Tbe officers of the
grand lodge of Virginia and the mem
bership of Fredericksburg lodge, in
Was Made a Mason,
aud of Alexandria-Washington lodge,
over which he presided as worshipful
master, had the chief part in the duty
of seeing that the observances were
appropriate. That that duty was well
perfotmed was evidenced by the so
lemnity and beauty of the ceremonies
and by the vast concourse of Masous
present. Members were in attendance
from all parts of the country aud al
most every jurisdiction in America and
a few from foreign countries were
represented by some of their grand of
ficers and members.
The visiting Masons, many accom
panied by the ladies of their families,
congregated in Washington and were
escorted by the Masonic bodies of the
District of Columbia, beaded by the
grand lodge of the district, made the
pilgrimage to Mount Vernon by boat.
The Virginia Masons assembled at
Alexaudrie and thence escorted by
Fredericksburg lodge and Alexandria
lodges, in a body proceeded to Mount
Vernon, also by boat.
At 10 o'clock President McKinley.
himself an enthusiastic Mason, accom
panied by Secretary of State Hay,
Secretary of the Treasury Gage. Sec
retary ».f the Xav.v Long, Secretary of
the interior Hitchcock. Secretary of
Agriculture Wilson and Postmaster
General Smith, of the cabinet Assis
tant Secretary of ttie Navy Allen. Maj.
Gen. Miles. Adjt. Geu. Oorbin. Secre
tary Porter. Assistant Secretary Cor
telyou. Maj. John A. Johnson and
Senator W. A. Clark of Montana, past
grand master of his state, left Wash
ington 011 a special electric train for
Mount Vernon, arriving there at 11
Greeted the President.
The presidential party was greeted
by Grand Master Duke el' Virginia and
by him escorted to the mansion. It
was nearly an hour and a half after
ward before all of tbe steamers bear
ing Masonic bulies arrived. After the
resident and his cabinet had reviewed
ihem from a platform
front of the mansion a procession was
formed and moved, as on 'lie day of
Gen. Washington's funeral, Dec. 18,
11)1). to the old vault where the rem ins
were first deposited. There, in the im
mediate presence of the grand officers
of the yarious states and the assem
bled Ma sens, solemn funeral rites were
conducted. After music Grand Master
A. A. Barnard of Colorado delivered
an address on the life and work of
Washli-gton, laying particular stress
upon his Masonic life and accomplish
ments. The procession re-formed and
moved, then to the tomb where the re
mains of Washington nnd those of his
family lie uow. The tomb was mag
nificently decorated with flags and
festoons of evergreens. and flowers.
Hew? the beautiful and impressive,
coir.prehei sive Masonic ceremonies
were conducted. The grand masters
of the thirteen original states formed
in line facing the representatives of
the other jurisdictions, the grand lodge
of Virginia at the head, the two lines
facing the tomb of Washington. Prayer
was then offered. Then the grand mat
ter of Virginia called upon each of
the jurisdictions of the thirteen orig
inal states, the jurisdictions of the
other states, and those of Canada.
Belgium and Nova Scotia for messages
sent by them, and all responded. Then
the grand master of. the District cf
Columbia deposited within the tomb
the lambskin apron as a token of in
nocence the grand master of Missouri
deposited the white glove as a token
of friendship and the grand master ot
California deposited the evergreen as
an emblem of the Masonic faith in the
resurrection of the body and the im
mortality of the soul.
Scores of beautiful wreaths an:l
bunches of evergreens were then de
posited within the tomb, one of the
most beautiful tokens, an immense
wreath of ivyj immortelles and acacia
blossoms, being offered by President
McKinley. The procession returned
to the east front of the mansion, where
President McKinley, introduced by
Grand Master'Brooke, .delivered an el
oquent oration as his tribute to Wash
ington. The president was interrupted
frequently by applause, and at the
dose of his oration he was cheered
beartlly. Tbe exercises at tbe man
sion were concluded with a benedlc*
tlon pronounced by Brother Ed B*
Catch, rabbi of Beth Abla synagogue,
of Richmond, Va.
Patriotic Societies. i.
Washington, Dec. 15.—George Wash*
ington memorial services were held
yesterday afternoon at the Church of
the Epiphany, under the auspices of
the patriotic societies of the District
of Columbia. The church was crowded.
The Episcopal form of service was
conducted jolutly by the Sons of the
American Revolution, Colonial Dames,
Colonial Wars. Sons of the Revolution,
Daughters of the Revolution, Daugh
ters of the American Revolution and
the Society, of the War of 1812. The
bishop of Washington officiated, as
sisted by the rector of the church and
others. Features of the exercises were
a special thanksgiving commemora
tive of Washington, the singing of
Kipling's recpssional and an address
l»y Assistant Secretary of State David
TAKEN BV BCLI.EIt.
Reported to Have Captured 10,000
London, Dec. 10.—A special dispatch
from Pietermaritzburg says Generals
Buller and Clery have entered Lady
smitli and have captured 10,000 Boers.
The war office is still without news
from Ladysmitli other than that al
ready published. The general belief
is that the large Boer forces Lord
Methuen encountered at Magersfoutein
were partly drait® from Natal and
lhat. Gen. Buller will strike a blow be
fore they have time to return.
The newspapers are calling upon the
government to employ the Cunarders
as well as the White Star liners as
transports, seeing tbe urgent need of
getting men to the Cape as speedily,
as possible. Forty thousand men could
still bo stmt, from England without
calling upon the militia for service.
That body contains 100,000. and from
tliis body 20.000 carefully selected!
could be spared for South Africa.
Moreover the colonies are again offer*
ing assistance. The greatest need,
therefc.ro is speedy transports.
Sir Charles Warren, who arrived at
Cape Town yesterday, will possibly,
join Lord Methuen and take command!
of the combined forces. A Chronicle's
Modder River dispatch, which is at
variance with all other accounts, re
ports Lord Methuen's force asi retiring
en Modder River as the result of more
artillery firing during the day. Or
ders have been issued at Woolwich to
prepare another siege train to go out
with the Seventh division.
Boer Loss Exceeds TOO.
Modder River. Dec. 16.—Ambulances
started early yesterday morning uuder
a flag of truce to collect the wounded
aud bury the dead who fella Magers
fonteiu. Brig. Gen. Wauchepe. who
led the Highland brigade, was found
dead near the trenches, shot in the
chest and thigh. A few wounded were
found near the trenches. Several
wounded Boers were taken to the Brit
ish hospital. The side of the hill and
the iimrcdiate neighborhood of tbe
Boer trenches showed dead'bodies all
about. One wounded Boer informed a
correspondent of the Associated Press
that their loss was terrible. The whole
Scandinavian corps was destroyed.
Judging from information gathered
from the Boer wounded and from pris
oners taken at different parts of tlio
field the Boer loss must exceed 700.
The destruction wrought by the navy
guns as euormous. Word was passed
along the Boer lines to prepare to re
treat at nightfall. All confess that it
was their greatest loss during the war.
The British troops have returned to
Modder River owing to the lack of
water near the position held yesterday.
Boers Forced Back.
London. Dec. US.—The war office has
received the following from Gen. For
estier-Walker at Cape Town: "(.Jen.
French wires, under date of Dec. 13,
reporting a skirmish at 4 o'clock in
the morning with 1.800 Boers who
were advancing southward toward
Nauawpocrt. The skirmishing con
tinued all the morning, the Boers light
ing on a front of fourteen miles. The
enemy retired with a loss of forty
killed and wounded. Our casualties
were one killed, seven wounded, in
cluding one officer, and two missing."
Bad Effect on Colonists.
London. Dec. 1(5.—"Metheun's check,,
following Gataere's reverse." says the
Cape Town correspondent of the Daily
News, "has had a bad effect upon the.
colonists, which are by no means a*'
growling body. The reverses lnu*
stirred up the Dutch. Many secret
meetings have been held. The impe
rial authorities are arming the loyal
farmers in the Stutterhelm and Ker
Lourenzo Marqnez, Dec. 16. Win
ston Churchill, the newspaper corre
spondent and former officer of the
Fourth hussars who was captured at
the time of the armored train disaster
near Esteourt, Nov. 16, has escaped
.BISHOP OF LONDON.
Appointment Formally Annouuccd'
by the Pope.
Rome, Dec. 10. At the consistory
held yesterday the pope formally an
nounced the appointment of a number
of bishops, including that of Mgr
Fcrgo McEvay to the bishopric of
Loudon. Ont., which he has been occu
pying since August last.
Drank Too Much Whisky.
Philadelphia, Dec. 10.—Mamie Bus
tard, aged four years, drank more
than a pint of whisky and died after
remaining unconscious for about three
hours. The spirits had been purchased
by the baby's father for medicinal
use. How a child could manage to
swallow a pint of whisky is a mystery
to the physicians.
Praise for Gen. Wood.
Santiago, Cuba, Dec.' 10.—The news
of the appointment of Maj. (Jen. Wood
as governor of Cuba was received here
with enthusiasm. Even the most bit
ter Cuban nationalists agree in prais
ing him as a soldier and an adminis
Berne, Dec. 10.—The federal assem^%
bly has elected Walther llauser. ltad
ical. of Wadensweil, Zurich, to be
president of Switzerland for 11)00. He
was the vice president during 1899. $
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