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The Celina Democrat. (Celina, O. [Ohio]) 1895-1921, June 17, 1910, Image 2

Image and text provided by Ohio History Connection, Columbus, OH

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn88077067/1910-06-17/ed-1/seq-2/

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Cne size only. Reculur peice sifa Bottle
7"f r.V :-. '
There's lots of character to this suit of
plain and striped pongee.
The stripe is sort of an old blue, the
lame as the deep culls, and it tones so
well with the natural color pongee.
The knife pleated collar of net it a
sew feature.
Tin- MiilniKUt Sun.
The midnight sun is not visible.
Bouth of the polar circle. It is above
the horizon throughout the twenty
four hours at IIoilo from June o to
July 7, at Tromso from the 101 h of
May to the 22d of July and at. the
North Cape from the ll'th of May to
the "!th of July. There are corre
sponding period:! during December,
January and November when the sun
is not soon, hut the darkness of the
winter is by no iisoaiu so at as
might ht imagino-l. The whiter, -s of
the kiiow and the glimmer of 'he
northern 'edits make a sort of p. r
peuial twiliuht.
Strotld Wind and Snnil Stornn
cause granulation of the eyelids. T'F.T
TIT'S EYE PAI.VE soothes and eniek
ly relieves. 2'. A!) dnitrgists or How
ard Bros., Tl'ifr.-lo. N. Y.
l.nnttiMiS Odd Mrcet SiKiia.
Lamb's house at Islington was clot
to a chandler's shop wiiicb ho:-.t the
sign of the JlliiminatcJ Dii-tp-m."
The name was not ,::ra utter than ::
other.? of old London, Ftich as the
Iiesurree; ion, the s.n of Day, the
printer, near S ;:uT U'-v's chiT-di:
the Cow am! Snuff' rs, mentioned in
Cokru'.'.i's k"Vh w; ttie Cat and Hug
pipes, onee at the rorti'T of Do wn it),'
street; Tuuible-Dovr.-i !!;, a sign
board in derision of Hic'ianl Crum
well, formerly in the bo,oiiu!; Purga
tory, in Whitehall, according to Clif
ford's "Ben Jonson," and Heaven, a
chophouse in the same neighborhood
where Pepys records his dining in the
year 1GC.0. -London Chronicle.
Slow death and awful suffering
follows neglect of bowels. Con
stipation kills more people than
consumption. It needs a cure
and there is one medicine in
all the world that cures it
Cascfifeta 10c. box wek'i treat
ment. All drufrtrista. Llffuett seller
in the wrld aiiliioa boxe a moaUL
Stockers Feeders
Choice quality; rods and ronns, Whitcfact-s or
An jf us, bought on orders. Menu of thousands
to select from. Sat 'Hlact ion ifxiarantd. Cor
respondence invited. Come and bee for yourself
At either KANSAS CITY, MO.
I! I 11 ) 1 H iualon, U.C. twblm.HIl
. . -1 -vt. I w s.it-jr.t:wr,,v. x
CopyrltM, 1906,
CirAl'TKU VII. (Continued.)
Why Mr. puxbury I'arley spared th
lron-mastl'r In tho froezliiB-out process
was an unsolved riddle to many. Hut
there were reasons. For one, there was
the lease of the coal lands, renewable
year bv Near this was Caleb's own
honest provision Inserted In tlio con
tract for tho Major's protection nnd
renewable only by tho Major's fneml
Further, n practical man ut tho practi
cal end of an industry Is a sheer ne
cessity; and by contriving to have
honest Caleb associated with himself
In tho receivership, a fine color of up
rightness was Imparted to tho promot
er's far-re liing l'lan of aggrandize
ment. So, later, when the reorganization
was effected; when .tho troublesome,
ilivlilenil.hiinurv stockholders of the
original company were eliminated by
duo process of law, Caleb's name np
pcared on the Farley slate with the tl-
! tie of general manager of the new com
panylor tho same good anu sumcn-wi
It was during the fervid six months
of Chiawassee Coal and Iron develop
ment that Thomas Jefferson had
passed from the old lifo to the new
from childhood to boyhood.
Simultaneously there were the coal
mines opening under the elirfs of
Mount Lebanon, the long, double row
of coking-ovens building on the flat
1.,-low the furnace, and the furnace it
self taking on undreamed-of magni
tudes under tho hands of the army of
workmen. Thomas Jefferson did hts
best to keep the pace, being driven by
a new and eager thirst for knowledge
mechanical, and of a gripping desire to
be present at all the assembling of all
the complicated parts of tho threefold
machine. And when he found It im
possible to be In three places at one
and the same moment, It distressed
him to tears.
Of the home life during that strenu
ous interval there was little more than
the eating and sleeping for one whose
time for the ubsorbent process was aii
too limited. Also, the perplexing ques
tions reaching clown into the imder
soul of things were silent. Also, again
mark of a change so radical that
none but a Thomas Jefferson may read
and understand an awe-inspiring Ma
jor Dabney had ceased to be the lirst
citizen of the world, that pinnacle be
ing now cieeupied by a tall, sallow,
smooth-faced gentleman, persuasive of
speech and superhuman in accomplish
ment, who was the life and soul of the
activities, and whom his lather and
mother always addressed respectfully
as "Colonel'' Farley.
One day, in the very heat of the
! battle, this commanding personage, at
whoso word the entire world of I'ara
; dise was in travail, had deigned to
I speak directly to him Thomas Jeffer-
son. It was at the mine on the moun
I tain. The workmen were bolting inti;
' place the final trestle of the inclined
' railway which was to convey the coal
i In descending carloads to. the bins at
i the coke-ovens, and Thomas Jefferson
; was absorbing the details ns a dry
I spon-ie soaks water.
! "Making sure that they do It just
: right, are you, my boy?" said the gr..at
man, patting him approvingly on the
' shoulder. "That's good. I like to see
' a boy anxious to get to the bottom of
things. Going to be an Iron-master,
I like your father, are you?"
"X-r.o," stammered the boy. "I wisht
I was'."
! "Well, what's to prevent? We are
going to have the eompletest plant In
the country right lu re, ami it will be a
line chanee for your father's son; the
finest in the world."
"'Tain't goin" to do me any good,"
Said Tl.o
got to 1"
.Mr. !,
tiihi cura
son h'ms
mas Jefferson, dejectedly. "I
ii preacher."
iximry Farley looked down at
mi -!y. He was a religious per
elf, (Dining to be known as a
Tr, d
in St. Michael's Church at South
:ar, a liberal contributor, and a
prime mover ru a plan to tear down me
old building and to erect a new one
more in lea ping with the times and
South Tredegar's prosperity. Yet he
was careful to draw the line between
religion as a means of grace and busi
ness us a means of making money.
"That is your mother's wish, I sup
pose; and it's a worthy one; very wor
thy. Yet, unb ss you have a special
vocation but there; your mother
doublh'ss knows best. I am only anx
ious to see your father's son succeed
in whatever he undertakes."
After that, Thomas Jefferson secret
ly made Success his god, and was
alertly ready to fetch and carry for
the high priest in its temple, only the
opportunities were infrequent.
For, wide as the Paradise Held seem
ed to be growing from Thomas Jeffer
son's point of view, it was altogether
too narrow for Duxhury Farley. The
principal offices of Chiawassee Coal
and Iron were in South Tredegar, and
there the first vice president was
building a hewn-stone mansion, and
had become a charter member of the
city'B first club; was domiciled in due
form, and was already beginning to
soften his final "r's," and to speak of
himself as a Southerner by adoption.
So sped the winter and the spring
succeeding Thomas Jefferson's 13th
birthday, and for the first time In his
life he saw the opening buds of the
ironwood and the tender, fresh greens
of the herald poplars, and smclled the
sweet, keen fragrance of awakening
nature, without being moved thereby.
Ardea he saw only now and then, as
old Scipio drove her back and forth
between tho manor-house and the rail
way station, morning and evening. He
had heard that she was going to school
in the city, and as yet there were no
stirrings of adolescence In him to make
him wish to know more. v
As for Nan Bryerson, he saw her not
at all. For one thing, he climbed no
more to the spring-sheltering altar
rock among the cedars; and for anoth
er, among all the wild creatures of the
mountain, your moonshiner Is the shy
est, being an anachronism In a world
of progress. One bit of news, however,
floated in on the gossip at Little Zoar.
It related that Nan's mother was dead,
and that the body had Iain two days
unburled while Tike was drowning his
sorrow in a sea of his own "pine-top."
Vaguely it had been understood In
the Gordon household that Mr. Dux
bury Farley was a widower with two
children; a boy, some years older than
Thomas Jefferson, at school In New
England, and a girl younger, name and
place of sojourn unknown, The boy
by Francis Lynik
was coming South for the long vaca
tion, and the affairs of tho Chiawassee
Coal and Iron already reaching out
subterraneously toward the future re
ci Ivership would call tho first vice
president North for the better portion
of July. Would Mrs. Martha take pity
on a motherless lad, whoso health was
none of the best, and open her homo to
V I n cent?
Mrs. Martha would and did; not un
grudgingly on the vice president's ac
count, but with many misgivings on
Thomas Jefferson's. She was finding
tho surcharged industrial atmosphere
of the new era Inimical at every point
to the development of the spiritual pas
sion she had striven to arouse in her
son; to paving the way for the reall.'.
Ing of that ideal which had first taken
form when she had written "Reverend
Thomas Jefferson Gordon" on the mar
gin of the letter to her brother Silas.
As It fell out, the worst happened
that could happen, considering the m
l'arent harmlessness of tho exciting
cause. Vincent Farley proved to be -n
anemic stripling, cold, reserved, with
no surface Indications of moral deprac
l'., and with at least a Veneer of good
breeding. Hut in Thomas Jefferson's
In-art he planted the seed of discontent
with his surroundings, with the home
ly old house on the pike, unchanged as
yet by the rising tide of prosperity, anil
more (ban all, with the prospect of be
i aunintr a chosen vessel.
It was of no use to hark back to the
revival and the heart-quaking cxpcl
ences of a year agone. Thomas Jeffer
son t t it d, but all that seemed to belon ,
to another world and another life.
What he craved now was to be like this
envied and enviable son of good for
tune, who wore his Sunday stdt every
day, carried a beautiful gold watch, and
was coolly and complacently at ease,
even with Major Dabney and a foreign
born and traveled Ardea.
Later In the summer the envy died
down and Thomas Jefferson developed
a pronounced case .of hern-worship,
something to the disgust of the colder
hearted, older boy. It did not last very
long, not did it leave any permanent
scars; but before Thomas Jerfers in
was fully convalescent the subtle flat
tery of his adulation warmed the sub
ject of it into something like compan
ionship, and there were bragging
stories of boarding-school life and of
the world at large to add fresh fuel to
the fire of discontent.
Though Thomas Jefferson did not
know it, his deliverance on that side
was nigh. It had been decided tint
he was to be sent away to school, Chia
wassee Coal and Iron promising hand
somely to warrant the expense; and
tile decision hung only on the choice
f courses io be pursued.
Caleb had marked the growing hun
ger for technical knowledge In the boy.
nd had secretly gloried in it. Here.
at least, was a strong stream of h's
own craftsman s blood flowing In the
ins of bis son.
"It 'd be a thousand pities to spoil a
good iron man ami engineer to make a
cor preacher, Martha," he objected;
this for the twentieth time, and wle n
the approach of autumn was forcing
the conclusion.
T know, Caleb; bou you don't under-
Mand," was the invariable rejoind'!'.
Von know that side of him, because
it's your side. Cut be Is my son, too;
and and, Caleb, the Lord has callad
"He's only a little shaver yet. Let
him try the school in the city for a
ar 'r so, goin' and comin' on the rail
ads, nights and luornin's, like the
Major's gran'daughter. After that, we
inialit see."
Thomas Jefferson took his last after
noon lor a rarnnie in me nobis and
woods beyond the manor-house, In that
part of the valley as yet iinfurrove.'
y the industrial plow. It was not ,
old love of the solitudes that call, i
him; it was rather a sore-hearted de
sire to go apart and give place to all
the hard thoughts that wore bubbling
and boiling wilbin.
A long circuit over the boundary hills
brought him at length to the little glade
with the pool in Hs center where lie
had been fishing for perch on that day
when Ardea and the great dojf had
come to make him backslide. He won
dered if she had ever forgiven him.
Most likely she had not. She never
seemed to think him greatly worth
while when they happened to meet.
He was sitting on the overhanging
bank, just where he had sat that other
day, when suddenly history repeated
itself. There was a rustling in tho
bushes; the Great Dane bounded out,
thought not as before to stand men
acing; and when he turned his head
she was there near him.
"Oh, it's you, is it?" she said, coolly;
and then she called to the dog and made
as if she would go away. Put Thomas
Jefferson's heart was full, and full
hearts are soft.
"You needn't run," he hazarded. "I
reckon I ain't going to bite you. I
don't feel much like biting anybody to
day. I'm going to be a preacher."
"You?" she said, with the frank and
unsympathetic surprise of childhood.
Then politeness came to the rescue and
she added: "I'm sorry for that, too, it
you are wanting me to be. Only I
should think it would he fine to wear a
long black robe and a pretty white sur
plice, and to learn to sing tho prayers
beautifully, and all that."
Thomas Jefferson was honestly hor
rified, and he looked it.
"I'd like to know what in the World
you're talking about," he said.
"About your being a minister, of
course. Only in France they call them
priests of the church." '
Tho boy'B lips went together in a
fine straight line. Not for nothing did
tho blood of many generations of Prot
estants flow in his veins. "Priest" was
a Popish word.
"The Pope of Rome is antichrist!" h ;
declared, authoritatively.
She seemed only politely Interested.
"Is he? I didn't know," Then, with
a tactfulness worthy of graver years,
she drew away from the dangerous
topic. "When are you going?"
"Is It far?"
"Yes; it's an awful long ways."
"Never mind; you'll be coming back
after a while, and then we'll be friends
if you want to."
"I'm mighty glad," he said. Then he
got up. "Will you let me show you tho
way home again? the short, easy way,
this time."
fche hesitated a moment, and then
food up and Rave him her hand.
"I'm not afraid of you new; we dont
huto him any more, do we, Hector?"
And so they went together through
the yellowing aisles of tho September
wood and across the fields to the nuin-or-houHo
Tom Gordon Thomas Jefferson now
only In his 'mother's letters was past
15, and his voice was la the transition
stage which made him blushlngly self
conscious when ho ran up the window
shade In the Pullman to watch for the
earliest morning outlining of old Leb
anon on the southern horizon.
Homesickness returned with renewed
qualms when the train had doubled the
nose of Lebanon and threaded Its way
among the hills to the Paradise por
tal, tiordonla, of the single side-track,
had grown Into a small Iron town, with
th t'lihiwasseo plant flanking a good
half-mllo of the railway; with a cin
dery street or two, and u scummy wave
of operatives' cottages and laborers'
shacks spreading up the hillsides which
were stripped bare of their trees and
Tom's eyes filled, and ho was won
dering faintly It the desolating tide of
progress had topped the hills to pour
over into tho homo valley beyond, when
his father accosted him. There was a
llltlo shock at the slcht of the grizzled
hair nnd beard turned so much grayer;
but the welcoming was liko a grateful
draft of cool water In a parched wilder
ness. "Well, now then! How are ye, Ittid
dy boy? Great land o' Canaan! but
you've shot up nnd thickened out
mightily In two years, son."
Tom w:is painfully conscious of his
ulsse. Also of the fact that he was
L'lumslly In his own way, particularly
:is to hands and feet. The sectarian
school dwelt lightly on athletics and
such purely mundane trivialities as
physical lltncss and the harmonious
education of tho glowing body and
"Yes; I'm so big It makes me right
tired," ho said, gravely, and his voice
cracked provokingly in the middle of
It. Then he asked about bis mother.
"She's tolerabli only tol, ruble, Ilud
dy. She allows she don't have enough
to keep her dom' In the new " Ca
leb pulled himself up abruptly und
changed the subject with a ponderous
attempt at levity. "What-. ill have you
done with jour trunk check, son? Now
I'll bet a hen worth fifty dollars ye've
gone .and lost It."
I'.ut Tom had not; and when the lug
gage was found there was another In
novation to buffet him. The old bnggv
with its high scat bad vanished, and
In its room there was a modern surrey
and a nt gro driver. Tom 'ooked ask
ance at the new equipage.
"Can't we make out to walk, pappy?"
he asked, dropping unconsciously into
the child-time phrase.
"Oh, yes; I reel, oil we could. You'ro
not too young, ami I'm not so terr'.a.e
old. Put get in, Puddy, get in; there'll
be trampin' enough for , all summer
(To he continued.)
Lecture on AMtroiiomy In Inter
riMWcil hy Infant rroriiuifs.
"ilefore proceeding Imiher with the
lecture," said the prof, s .or of a-t.ion-oiny
at Harvard, uei o.dii g to Life, "I
mint insist that the s'tideiits lay a.siile
li'ir dulls. I (..i; ;ut pretend to In
struct those who do not nay atlention,
and I wish to len.ui; that there is a
time and a place for iiiayii".' dolls, ua
well a.i a repe.-it ii y f :
"Do not ni:i!;o it i-ec :--ai.v for me
to bo peisonal, lie'bert S,y!v,st l.o,v
ell. The mare fact Hint -oil arc
teething i.s no c.vu.-c for hi;!.':-; ys.ir
teething ring that load and obs'i j
iious manner. Mr. Holly woe:!. ,'u:ld
you mind stepping into the hall aiil
telling Algernon's nurse to come in?
He has an attack of whooping conga,
which is annoying the entire ela s,.
"To continue; I.'ranud i ', yon .il
observe, one of the must ia.eocaiit
planets in the constellation; i; has
These interruptions ;.:- he 'in-
ing most annoying: Horace Fh ! her
Audubon, you must either put ::. say
that gingerbread man or leave the
elas.-room. No, Milton Hori :o Meek
er, you cannot play with your tin en
gine during the lecture hour.
"But I can plainly note that I am
not going to be permitted lo proceed,
for that marble game bet ,vo :i Augus
tus Kverton and Nathan Ilaio ilaa.-nn
has iib:orbo(l the interest of nl..;,. of
my auditors. Henry .James, don't you
know that my nerves are not accus
tomed to the scratching of your sia'e
pencil? Stop it! Ah, there goes the
first bell. One moment. j:--;i-; I
have one or two announcements to
ma he.
"I regret to ray that Prof. Great
head, who was to have talked wltli us
to-inorrovv on th 'Co.smic Conscious
ness of the Inevitable, is ill and will
not appear. His maternal parent, tele
phoned me this morning that lie is
suffering from a slight attack of chicken-pox
and that his nurse thinks it
unwise for him to come. I am re
quested further to announce that there
will be a game of pom-pom-pullawny
for the seniors this afternoon in the
yard. The scheduled delate between
the juniors and the junior laws wi11.
be held Saturday despite the epidemic
of cholera Infantum which has so un
fortunately spread among the students.
"I must ask the nurses to conn,
single file and to avoid getting tho
perambulator wheels entangled In each
other. It interferes with the facilitj'
of egress. Kindly avoid dropping milk
bottles upon the floor and see that all
rattles, dolls and toys are in the pot
session of the proper owners."
An Old ncnuty Iteelpe.
The Roman poet Ovid gives the fol
lowing recipe for one of the comp .sl
tlons then in use among tho ladlei to
increase the smoothness of their skin
or to conserve Its delicacy: "Take the
barley of Libya and remove the c) aff
and hull, take an equal quantity of
vetch or of bitter vetch; mix the toe
and then the other with eggs, then tJ.-y
nnd grind the whole and with it mix
powdered hartshorn. Add some nt r
cissus bulbs previously ground In a
mortar and some gum, and also soae
farina made from Tuscan wheat. Not
thicken the mixture with a greater
quantity of honey and the resultin.;
composition will render the skin
smoother than a mirror."
On Ilia Own,
"While I was engaged to her sh
made me give up drinking, smoking
and golf. Last of all, I gave up some
thing on my own Recount.''
"What was that?"
"The girl." Judge,
Fin ,'oliit In Ti'Ntf muiiy.
"So," waid the Judge, "you say that
you never went to Chicago from
Ilunlersville. Now this la a very lm
portant point iu the case, and I give
you one more chance to explain, for
you and Snyder were seen on tho
sumo train. Now you must he pre
"No, sir; I never went to Chicago.
"Didn't Snyder go?"
"Yes, sir."
"And you were with him. Now,
out with It."
"Yes, sir," answered the witness
after a pause. "You see, I told the
truth, because it was this way: Wo
Bat opposite each other. He faced
tho engine. I didn't go lo Chicago,
I Just hacked nwny from Htinters-
Tllle." Woman's Home Companion.
The I'Miiul Way,
Went Into town to-day to take a
little flier in stocks.
That so? How did you ronio out?
Walked. Yale Record.
II WiirkN llr.di Way.
I Mistress: In the time It takes me
' to tell you how to do the work I could
; do It myself.
Housemaid: Yes'm. And in tho
time it takes me to listen to you, I
could do it, too.
Allien Sbf llmiKht !Tol!e.
"She's a decided blonde."
"When did she decide it." Ex
change. A IplllT.
"As an ucrlnlist that man amounts
to nothing."
"Yes, I have heard him referred to
as an aero naught." St. Louis Star.
Il-r I ml I id mi I Cull.
Marjoric is a day pupil at a private
school. Hi r mother disapproved of
her drinking from the common drink
ing cup. and bought her an aluminum
collapsing cup of her own.
The next day Marjoiie came run
ning home, and with a kiss, exclaim
ed: "Oli, mother, all the other little
girls at school like me so specially
much, and we have the most fun with
my new cup! They all stand in a
line and take turns drinking with It!"
'I'M nil III Wind tliut
Chauffeur What are you doing,
Anne Marie? You've let all the air
out. of the tires.
A. M. Yes; master had them blown
up at Lar.dernoan. so I am getting a
breath of my native air. Pde Mcle.
Girl from Country I don't see
what, kind of a place 1 could get.
There isn't a single thing I know how
to do.
Employment Agent. Very simple.
Just advertise yours, df as a maid of
all work. Meggendorfer Illaetter.
Not So llnil, Till.
Farmer Here! What are you do
ing In my hen house?
Uastus 1'ae 1'se jes' rehearsin' fo'
dat new play called "Chantecler."
A Youth of I'o-day.
"Honesty, my son." said the mil
lionaire, "is the best policy."
"Well, perhaps it is, dad," rejoined
the youthful philosopher; "but it
strikes me you have done pretty well,
nevertheless." Answer.
Ilcr Awe
Census Taker How old are you,
Aunt Jilly Laws, chile, how does
I know? Jest put down dat I was
bohn de same day Uncle Josh Hend'
son's stable dun burnt down.
When Love In Young:.
Mabel So you aud Jack don't speak.
What's the trouble?
Marjory We had a dreadful quar
rel about which loved the other most.
Boston Transcript.
I,lke un Antu.
"My boy, remember a wife is a good
deal like an automobile."
"How so, dad?"
"Because getting one isn't so ter
ribly difficult, but the cost of .main
tenance is something frightful." De
troit Free Press.
Ten Point.
The subscriber wrote in to ask the
editor of the agricultural paper if the
latter would kindly send him some
pen points.
"Always keep the hogs well fed.
"Guard them against cholera.
"Sell when the price Is as high as
It Is now," wrote the editor in reply.
fit. Louis Star.
How If Hoped Out.
"Their marriage was a real surprise
io everybody, wasn't it?"
"Y-yes. To his friends not to hew."
-Clerelafed Leader,
11 Had Don Hnoaah.
"Fellow-cltlzens," suld tho candidate,
"I have fought against the Indiana. I
have often had no bed hut the buftle
fluld and no canopy but the sky. I
have marched over the frozen gr: ind
till every etep has been marked with
Ills story told well till a drled-up
looking voter came to tho front.
"I'll he darned If you hain't done
enough for yifiir country. Go home and
test. I'll vote for the other fellow."
Success Magazine.
PrcNiniigo of Mm. Ilnahlela-h'a.
"Let's see," observed the smart
boarder, seating himself at table, "how
Is It tho proverb runs "
"You refer to the saying that ono
man's meut Is another man's hash,"
put In ono.
"Or," snld another, "Don't cry over
Bklmmed mlik,"
"Or possibly," said a third. "In but
ter there is strength."
"No." returned the smart boarder,
"the particular proverb 1 had in mind
is: None hut-the bravo can face tho
fare." Boston Transcript.
A Thcorr.
"Infant prodigies are hard to un
derstand," said the man who is easily
'I don't think so," replied Miss
Cayenne. "As a rule they are simply
young people with highly imaginative
parents." Washington Star.
The Ai-IIkIIo Touch.
"Dorothy, that count of your's must
he a tattoo artist."
"How so, father?"
"He wants to draw on me already."
St. Louis Star.
o In Mix I.I nr.
"When you arc grown up," uuerii
the visitor, "will you be a doctor, like
your father?"
"Oh, dear me, no! Why, I couldn't
even kill a rabbit." replied the hoy
with great frankness. Argonaut.
I'riM'oiit anil l-:xnniile.
"Colonel, that was an admirable
speech you made at the club the other
evening on the obligations of citizen
ship. I've been intending to tell you
so ever since I heard it. But what
are you looking so gloomy about this
morning, colonel? No bad news, I
"Dash It all, yes! I've been draivn
on a Jury!" Chicago Tribune.
Overdoing It.
"We must not wait for opportunity,"
said the man who gives good advice;
"we must, make occasions to assert our
"Perhaps," replied Mr. Sirlus Bark
er, "hut that idea is no excuse for an
ambulance driver who gets excited and
runs over people." Washington Star.
A Snmrt I.ad.
Employer (to applicant for post as
office boy And now, my lad, do you
know what the motto of this firm Is?
Young Applicant Yes, sir. Push.
I saw it on the door as I came in.
Pearson's Weekly.
Mrlcily I i-to-I)ue.
Visitor (iu aeroplanic apartments)
What became of that beautiful lit
tle water spatiiel you had on your
yacht last summer?
Hostess Oh, he was so unfashion
able up here that I exchanged him
for a skye terrier! Life.
The Caiifie.
Woggs Yesterday must have been
in unfortunate day up your way. I
see there were four autos smashed
two trucks overturned, a trolley car
derailed and a score of pedestrians
lioggs Yes, confound it, and I told
that kid of mine to keep his now ve
locipede off the street. Puck.
Voice Below Are you MIsshus
Voice Above Yes, what do you
Voice Below Then come down here
and hie pick out Mr. Shmith. Tho
rest of us want to go home. The
Throne and Country.
Ill one l.itde AiiKelN.
Neighbor How did that naughty
little boy of yours get hurt?
Ditto That good boy of yours hit
him in the head with a brick. Jew
ish Ledger.
Two of 'Kin.
He (after a quarrel, bitterly) I
was a fool when I married you.
She I knew it, but I thought you
would improve. Boston Transcript.
Jew lliich In Cnlliolle Church.
"Cardinal Kohn certainly sounds
odd. Still, It may be reserved to the
twentieth century to bring us such a
novelty," say the American Israelite.
"Dr. Theodore Kohn, son of a full
blooded Jew, was in 1893 elected arch
bishop of the Austrian diocese of 01
muetz, one of the .most prominent epis
copal sees of Christendom, which had
occasionally been occupied by mem
bers of the imperial family, and which
for three hundred years had been re
served to members of the highest aris
tocracy. In 1904 charges were filed
against him In Rome, and, while the
.material was not sufficient to try him
for malfeasance, Plus X induced him
to resign. The stipulations of this
compromise were never made public,
but It was understood that he would
be given a cardinalate. There seems,
however, to be a hitch somewhere, but
the archbishop insists on the fulfll
ment of the promises made to him."
There is one satisfaction for those
of us who are being ground down by
the iron heel of Guggtnheim: poor
bouses are becoming more comfort
able tvery year.
Phi Help in LydiaO. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound
Hudson, Ohio. "If mothers realized
the good your remedies would do deli
cute pirls 1 hclievo there would ho
I ewer w eak and ailing-
women. Irreg
ular ami painful
periods and sucU
troubles would ba
relieved fit onco In
many cases. Lydia
K. I'ltililiiim'a eg
tablo Compound 18
tine for ailing girls
and run-down wo
men. Their delicate
organs need a tonlo
mil tlm Compound
gives new iimiiiiKin nnu mo irom mo
first dose." M rs. i i:oh(ik Stkickler,
Hudson, Ohio, It. .No. 6, Box 112.
Hundreds of such letters from
mothers expressing" their gratitude
for what Lydia E. l'inkham's Vrgcta-
b e l oinnouiul has accompiisiiea lor
them have been received by the I.ydia
E. 1'inkham Medicine Company, Lynn,
Young Girls H ed This.
Girls who are troubled with painful
or irregular periods, backache, head
ache, dragging-down sensations, faint
ing spells or indigestion, snotim lane
immediate action to ward oil' the seri
ous coilsriitenecs and he restored to
health by i..ilin K. l'inkham's Vege
table Coinpout"!. 'I'lious iiKis lmvolccn
restored to health by its use.
If you would like spivial ad vice
nbout vour ease, write it otiliden
tial letter to Mrs. IM'iUliani, at
Lynn. IMass. Her advice is ircc,
and always liclj'lul.
A SlroU of Buslnea.
A writer who was very intimate with
Frank It. Stockton says that when the
Btockton family lived in Bucks coun
ty, Pa., Frank and his brother had a
dog which they trained solely to hunt
cats. The brot iters were overhauled
one day Dy a farmer whose cat they
were chasing. To placate the farmer
they gave him a dollar for a pig,
which they look home. By driving
away their father's pigs at feeding
time they soon made their own th
fattest pig in tho pen and sold him at
a profit of $7.00. Frank Tt. Stockton
always considered the deal a tribute
to his business acumen.
Another Melory for Iloan'a Kidney
J. M. Houston, 417 So. Fifth St.,
lloopeston, 111., says: "I had been in
a critical condition
for two years. My
bark was so sore and
painful I could not
turn In bed. I had
chills and hot (lashes
jfvwy and became so dizzy
fi-S ) 1 scarcely dare walk.
My leet and ankles
were so badly swoll
en I could not weai
nor leave the house. My
my shoes
kidneys were in very bad shape, and
I had great trouble with tho secre
tions. 1 thought my time had come
Loan's Kidney Pills, however, cured
me and the cure has been perma
nent." Popriymbcr t.li name Doun's.
For sale by ail dealers. aO cents a
bo. i'oster-MiiVun Co., Esffalo, N. Y
A Mllu MIxcliniK-e.
"The only proper way is to have all
your handkerchiefs plainly .marked iE
one corner with your initials, unlesi
you buy those which have the letter oi
monogram embroidered," said Ann'
.Margaret Sawyer. She looked witl
great disfavor on the delicately flow
ered squares displayed hy her niece
"That is tho way Sister Lois and 1
have always done," she added.
"Oh, will," said her flippant niece
"It wouldn't worry Adele or me if w
did exchange once In a while."
"There is a delicacy and rellnemenl
about one's own belongings which
should be respected," said Aunl
Margaret, in a chilly tone, not ovei
lucidly. "That is what Lois and 1
have always maintained, and and '
The classic features of Miss Saw
yer were contorted by a sneeze, and
she quickly brought from her small
silk bag a spotless s.uare of linen,
As she opened it her eyes and those
of her flippant young relative sought
the corner.
"There, you see, Is the simple style
Lois and I er " faltered Miss Saw
yer. The niece leaned forward.
"Why, there's an 'L' in the corner!"
she said, with an exaggerated air ol
innocence. "What does that stand for,
Aunt Margaret?"
"It stands for a mistake, such as will
occasionally happen," said Miss Saw
yer, refolding the handkerchief with
considerable haste.
A Happy
Follows a breakfast that
is pleasing: and healtliful.
Are pleasing and healthful,
and brinij smiles of satisfac
tion to the whole family.
"The Memory Lingers"
Popular Pkg. 10c
Family size, 15c.
Fostum Cereal Co., Ltd.
Battle Creek, Mich.
J. w. ..'-is, '
j:y -vH

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