THE CELItf A DEMOCRAT, CELINA, OHIO PLAN EXEMPTIONS FOR RECRUITING America to Guard Against Crip pling Factories Needed in Conduct of War. EXAMPLE IN ENGLAND SEEN National Consumers' Leayue Warns Against Abolishing the Labor Reg ulation of Hours Watch Labor j Situation Carefully. Washington. Before tho greater American army Is mixed tho council of Uutlonul defense l.s expected to publish u list of those trades that cun best spare men for tho mmy, or a list of those which should not deplete their lndustrlul forces. The lnlxr committee of the advisory committee of the coun cil of national defense held a confer ence In Washington with labor leaders and manufacturers at which plans were formulated for taking stock of the labor resources of the country. The United Stutes expects to profit by the eiperlence of England and France, where In the rush of raising the first big armies men were taken from trades upon which the efllcient conduct of the war depended, and It was found that the nation would have been better off if some of the trained und skilled artisans had remained In their factories. Also la England there ' was a letting down of labor regulations which resulted lu such Impairment of output that the eight-hour day for women and the universal day of rest were restored. In connection with the ascertain meut of what trades can best spare men for war, President Italph Peters of the Long Island railroad recently Is sued a statement to his employees I which he said that trained railroad workers would lie of more service to the country In keeping the roads In ef ficient operation than they would be In the army or navy. The first call for 500,000 men will make a severe drain upon some indus tries, and In the early stage of pre paredness of the country those In au thority In Washington wish to make sure that the Industries the country needs to conduct the war most vigor ously will not be crippled. English War Industries. In this connection there Is Interest In England's list of "war industries" fixed upon after the experience of the crip Jiling of industries at the start of the war. The lines of work which the Brit Ish government maintained as neces sary follow: Miss Muudu Wet more, president of the National league for Woman's Serv Ice; Mrs. Philip N. Moore, head of the National Council of Women; Miss Alice Carpenter, chairman of the wom an's section of the Women'a National Service school, and Mrs. J.' Willis Martin, chairman of tho bonrd of di rectors of the National League for Women's Service, the league called at tention to these dangers. "The impulse to service," the letter said, "prompts euger men and women to give their ull sons, fortunes, strength, homes, efforts of every kind to the country In war time. In their zenl and haste there Is dunger that the safeguards of the life, health and vigor of working people will be lost, ond upon them success depends. In the whole industrial history of the country we have never faced so criti cal a moment. The United States Is beginning preparedness on a colossal scale, und the wnge-enrners are called on to exert their fullest working ca pacity. They will respond to the cull. it is or supreme Importance for the efficiency of the nation as a whole that the energies of the army should be kept at their highest pitch. The league's warning sum that l the beginning of the war England had suspended laws limiting the hours of work even for women employed In wnr supplies factories; that the Impair ment of output in a few months led to an ofllclal investigation which in turn brought radical recommendations re gardlng the limitation of emergency measures, as a result of widen tne weekly day of rest was restored and the eight-hour shift for women went Into effect In all rrovernnient muni tlon works, ond overtime wus curtulled In nil establishments. The league made these recommendations : 1. Preserve short working hours wherever they exist. 2. Maintain the present minimum of sanitation and safety. 3. Keep the children In school, by means of scholarships where neees- sury. 4. Uphold the standard of living for the family, whether the chief wage enrner Is n soldier at tho front or working on national supplies at home. The anneal was signed by Mrs. Florence Kellev. general secretary of the league, and Miss Puullne Gold mark, research secretary. I PRESIDENT POINTS OUT HOW ALL MAY HELP I Batteries Motorcars lileaching and dyeing Munitions Hreweries ' Needles Brickyards Oil mills Brushrnaklni? Packing Industry Button industry Paint Candles, Kreaje,la!low Paper Cement, lime Petroleum Charcoal Pianos Chemical Industry Pottery Coke Powder Cooperate Printing . KnKineertng- Rubber Food Sand bacs Foundries Paw mills Furniture Shipbuilding Olass Soap Industry Hats Stone Iron and steel Surgical dressings Jewelry (cheap) Surgical appliances leather Textiles Linoleum Tobacco Lumber Toymaklng Malting Waters (aerated) Mattresses Wire Metals Woodworkers Military Insignia This list does not mean thnt the Brit Ish found that all of the articles rep resented were needed In the conduct of the war, but that those employed In the manufacture of the named articles were generally skilled men, whose ex perience adapted them for work In other lines of Industry, If needed. The United States, because of the differ ence In some1 basic Industries between this country and England, niny strike some Items from the list and add oth ers. Because of the size of America's population and the diversity of her In dustries, coupled with the opportunity of profiting by the experience of Eng land and France, those who huve stud led the situation believe that the Unit ed States can raise an army of 1,000, 000 men without crippling the Indus tries needed In the conduct of the war. This Is especially true of the muni tlon Industry, at present highly organ ized In the United States. But because It may be necessary to raise larger ar mies, the authorities see the Impor tance of mapping out a comprehensive program, It Is said by those who have co-operated with the labor committee. The labor committee will have brauches In every state In ordt'r to en able it to have at all times accurate re- views of the labor situation. With the labor committee are co-operntlng some experts who have studied the labor sit uation In Europe. The problem of hav ing women replace men In factories is one of the things being considered. Warns Against Overzeal. ' Labor leaders have generally signi fied their willingness to forego for the time the benefit of labor regulations, with tho understanding that they be re stored after the war. In this connec tion the National Consumers' league has sent out a warning against relax ing labor regulations, on the ground that In the long run It will be costly to national defense. The. league paid es pecial reference to the danger of re laxing labor limitations for woman workers. In a letter to Mrs. Norman de It. Whltehousei head of the Nev York Stute Woman Suffrage party; Ro1TtOM!BS Japanese Thieves Spare Not Even the Dwellings of the Dead in Raid at Nara. Tokyo. Desecration and despoil ment of Imperial tombs near Nara for purposes or robbery has led to tho discovery that other ancient tombs cuttered through different parts of Yamushlro province have been broken open und contents of value removed. The treasures disinterred from the TO FARMERS Increase the production of your land and co-operate In the sale and distribution of your products. TO MEN AND BOYS Turn in hosts to the farms to help cultivate and harvest the vast crops imperatively needed. TO MIDDLEMEN Forego unusual profits and "organize and expedite shipments of supplies." TO RAILWAY MEN See to it that there ahall be no "obstruction of any kind, no inefficiency or slackened power" of the "arteries of the nation's life." TO MERCHANTS Take for your motto, "Small profits and quick serv ice."' TO SHIPBUILDERS Speed construction of ships, for "the life of the war depends upon" you. TO MINERS If you "slacken or fail, armies and statesmen are help less." TO MANUFACTURING MEN "Speed and perfect every process," for your "service is absolutely indispensable" to the nation. TO GARDENERS By creating and cultivating gardens you can help "greatly to solve the problem of feeding the nations." TO HOUSEWIVES Eliminate wastefulness and extravagance. TO EDITORS AND ADVERTISING AGENCIES Give widespread 1 circulation and repetition to this appeal. STEEL MILLS BUSY ON FEDERAL WORK Domestic and Foreign Inquiries Turned Down in Rush to Supply Government. FRIGES ARE NOT COHSIDEI Disposes of Report That Financiers With Investments in These Prop x erties Wanted War May Sup ply Allies With Ammuni tion. Pittsburgh. The vast difference at which government agencies are en abled to buy iron and steel ns com pared to that charged other consum ers Is startling. During the week the government re ceived the option of paying $38 a ton for plntes and $50 for steel bars und structural shapes. Deliveries are to be made Immediately, upon receipt of specifications at mill. This, In some instances, will be overnight. This Il lustrates how well prepared the mills are and how rapidly they un turn out work In emergencies. The great discrepancy between quo tations given the government and pri vate consumers cannot be uiade clear in simple figures. During the past month Japanese buyers hesitated to pay 8c, or $160 a ton for ship plates Last week they decided to place the order when the price was advanced to 10c, or $200 a ton, and producers re fused to take the order. The govern ment Is being favored at the rate of $22 a ton in building materiul at the lowest possible quotation made by any steel maker. On steel bars the government will receive un advantage of $27 a ton. While the money con sideration is large prompt deliveries Is far more important. The report that financiers having their money in vested In manufacturing properties favored war for the purpose of reaping n financial harvest, Is disposed of. The facts are they will suffer great finan cial loss. May Supply Allies With Ammunition. Only the most favored and fortunate patrons of steel producers have been able to huve orders accepted for fu ture delivery since war was declared. Until government work Is disposed of or scheduled, domestic and foreign or ders will not be accepted. It would not be surprising. If after the confer ence with Balfour and representatives of the entente allies this government does not take over the handling of munition contracts for Its ullies. Should this be done European coun tries will be amazed at the rapidity of manufacture in this countcy. Foreign governments will also save millions of dollars by having this' country handle all contracts for war supplies, and the 'day of vast fortunes made In a few months from tills source seems to ue approaching an end. Refusal of mills to accept orders for plates have been numerous. One offer of 18,000 tons of ship plntes, 2,- 000 tons of boiler plates, 0,000 tons f ship plates, plates for 250 locomo tives for export and n vast amount of hiiscelliineous material has been turn ed down. Mills are clearing plants or everything which might Impede prog- tombs of members of the Imperial fam lly who reigned both before and after Christ Include objects of rare nnd non appralsable mirrors are said to date back us far ns 2,000 years. Among ar ticles stolon were severul ancient neck luces and u number of old metal mir rors contnlnlng 50 per cent gold with exquisite antique designs on the back. Another curious relic was a stone pil low In the earliest epoch of Japanese history. , The hieroglyphics on the back of, tha mirrors are entirely new to nrchoe- ress on government work. One of the requirements of the government will be thousands of steel ranges for field use. These are made of heavy sheets and can be turned out by hundreds each day. Steel Is going forward to finishing plants for millions of small shells. It Is doubtful If this govern ment will call for many large shells as they can be made more rapidly than guns to use them. Quotations of ship plates range from 5.50c, Pittsburgh, for delivery at convenience of mill, to 10c. Inquiries from foreign Wmrces for large tonnages of steerbars have been turned down by mills. Canners Busy on Government Work, Tin plate makers have received pref erence In deliveries of tin plate und sheet burs at request -of government officials. Canners will be aided in pro ducing the lurgest number of cans ever made In the world. Foodstuff will be one of the army and navy's first requirements, and canners huve been put on their mettle to supply It. Without un adequate supply of bars they would be unable to meet the demand. Billets and bars are noin Inally quoted at $70 to $75 a ton. Mu nltion makers ure inquiring for seven- Inch billets In hirge lots. One con puny is seeking to place an order for 10,000 tons of slubs. High prices have had a tendency to check structural work. With the dis appearance of the prospect of large profits from government contracts, manufacturers will not be so anxious to make extensions. Government steel will be given first consideration, and it will be up to government officials If there Is any lagging in placing specifi cations with mills. Wire manufactur ers have withdrawn from the market. The American Steel and Wire com pany is turning out a large quantity of wire rope to be mnde into nets for harbor protection against submarines. It is expected that considerable wire rope will soon he made for the use of mine sweepers, as the Atlantic oceaa will undoubtedly be sown with a vas profusion of mines to wreck shh ping. T7AT7TTr m New York Jewel Thief Worked Clever Trick NEW YORK. Here's the latest trick In thievery. The knnve called up Reed & Barton, local Jewelers, on the telephone, said he was Frank Hed ley, generul munager of the subway system, and usked that several brooches he sent to him ut his oflice, lie wanted , to select a gift, "Hedley" lidded. Iteed & Burton put half a dozen brooches valued at $5,500 in a package und sent them to Iledley's oflice, 105 Broudway, by a trusted messenger. The messenger was told Hedley was out. As a fact, he was 111, and not ex pected at his desk for several days. Before the messenger reached the store ou bis return trip the telephone bell rang and the man representing himself us Hedley asked for the manu- ger. "I urn very sorry I wus not nt the office when your mnn called with the brooches," he said, "but I was unavoidably detained. In fact, I shan't return there today. Would you be good enough to send the brooches to my home, 00 Fnnshuw avenue, Youkers?" I i fit v.t A Twilight Proposal By Virginia Lee 0 1 (Copyright, 1917. hy W. Q, Chapman.) Was ever a fulr young girl In the radiant bloom of youth, Innocent, trustful, with a cherished glowing Ideal at soul so blessed as Madge Wil lis t And amid it all she wus wait ing for u present no gewguw orna ment or pussing toktn of remem bronce, but a royal lifetime gift a husband) She stood In the doorway of the cabin set Just back from the river on the Texan border. Her father, sturdy old Reuben Willis, had been a Innd speculator In the district for over twen ty years. As the saying went, he had made his pile and waa about to return to his former home in the North, Tho munager said he would be delighted, nnd when the messenger ap- Madge' expected Ills return from Pux- peared lie sent him to Yonkers, telling him to take a receipt for the pucknge and leave It. Whsn the messenger alighted at the railroad station a most agreeuble mnn told him Just how to get to Mr. nedley's house by the shortest cut. He remembers the mnn was going part way himself and went along until he could point out the house. Ten minutes after the messenger had left the Hedley home and headed for New York minus the Jewels, the Hedley telephone bell rang. The maid nnsweivd. "This Is Reed & Barton's, New York," said the yolce. "Has one of our messengers left a necklace there?" The maid replied In the affirmative. "Well," said tbe voice. "It was a mistake. It should huve gone to someone else. We are sending a local mes senger for it. Please give It to him nnd he'll give you a receipt." Soon a messenger rang the doorbell. Ue had come for a package, he said, and the maid gave him the Jewels. He told the police afterward he hud been engaged by a man at the railroad stution to get a bundle at the Hedley house. When he returned the man took the puckuge from him. ton, where he hud gone to close up some business affairs. lie wus to bring Walter Rayburn back with him. "I won't bring you a stick-pin or a new hat, Jewel," her father had said. The present I'm going to give you is Walter Rayburn. Glad? Sols he, and he's going North with us, and we'll be happy all the way round." For, although Madge and Walter hnd been engaged for over two years, Mr. Willis had Insisted that time must de velop the worthiness nnd steadfustness of the ardent lover. Only twice a year had Walter come down to the old ranch on the Rio Grande. And now there was to be a quiet wedding at tbe little town of Plttsvllle, ten miles away, nnd a flight to a less-lso- luted spot In the state where Mudg was born. "It's like the opening of some beau niTTSBURGH. Owing to spring skies reminding her of sunny Italy, or tlful dream!" murmured Madge, as perhaps It was the Incessant bird song In the AUlliam Penn hotel lobby, she stood In the doorwuv of the rude Cecelia Samarrarl, once singer In grand opera, while on her knees with a The horseman leaped from bla ate4 aud ran to the bead of the horse ahead, backed the wagon, reversed It ami sprang to Ita seat. "Walter oh, It cannot be!" cried Madge, and clung to ids arm as he spurted up the horse, bla own, well trained, uctlng ai pilot A shot rang out. It proceeded from the revolver of the baffled leader, and he was shouting vigorously, as If hoping to unmet tho attention of the cavalcade, now out of sight. "Don't faint," spoke Walter. "Take the whip. Lush up the horse. There may be pursuit. The mischief I" Half a mile covered nt a furious rate of speed, a wheel struck a boul der, cluttered to fragments and the ve hicle sagged to one side. Walter sprarg to the ground and cn light Madge In his arms. He was outlhilng a ruu to the cover of the neur woods when a group of half a dozen men came dashing on horseback from the direction of the cabin. Walter ran up to tbelr leader. The new party hurried onward; he returned to hie fiancee. "Your father nnd a posse," he ex plained. There was the echo of fire arms down the road. Reuben WI1U and his companions returned with the Mexican leader and two others aa captives. The others had escaped "And, oh I I was so sorry to your precious safe in their hands," spoke Mudge, when tbe captured raid- Fine Singer Discovered Doing Menial Work V. v r -" C v yj hi7W scrub brush lu her hand, opened the casket of her forgotten notes and to the wonder of hundreds of guests scat tered sweetest music from "II Trova- tore," und then she whistled arius from the famous opera. Assistant to President MeCargo, A. K. McRne, and Assistant Manager T. F. Mulllns were hurriedly sum moned from the front oflice, and they also listened without disturbing the newly awakened singer. As the song stopped and a crowd had gathered but comfortable old cabin, gazing at the reddening sunset. "I'm, glad w nj-e going to leave, for the Mexlcn raids are coming closer and more freqnent, She went Into the house to glance nt the clock. According to all calcu lation, her father and Walter must soon put in an appearance. A clatter outside of horses' hoofs and strange voices sent n sharp thrill through her frame. Madge went to the door. It was to shrink back in sudden terror. Ten men on horseback had driven up around, the woman looked up In surprise, blushed and went on with her and now surrounded the house. Two REJECTED MAN PUTS ON WEIGHT; ACCEPTED Chicago. Harold Evans of Davenport, la., who was reject ed because he was 13 pounds below the required weight for J navy recruits, was accepieu a few days later when he tipped the scale at 110 pounds. Evans said an exclusive diet of beef steak and water gave him the necessury increase in weight. Paints American Flag on House. New Brunswick, N. J. To show that he Is u loyal citizen although born In Germany, Edwurd Armreln of New Brunswick, N. J., has painted an Amer ican flag on the front of his house. Someone stole a flag that he hung out so he resorted to paint. Armrein will soon get his final naturalization papers. ologists, though they are presumed to be of Chinese origin. The precious stones nre valued at ninny thousands of yen nnd nre supposed to have come from China. Poisoned Milk to Revenge Herself. New York. For seveuge on a milk man against whom sho had a griev ance, Bertha Krulesh put poison In milk sold to Mrs. Curl Kinkeldey, who employed her as a housemaid in Now York city. The mnld Is being held by the authorities. work. Mr. Mulllns bade her enter the office, feeling that she could find a better Job around the hotel, nnd she did. She told her story, while a waiter translated Into English: Three years ago I wus mnrrled to a French singer connected with Ppnlleti's grand opera company, playing in Paris at the outbreak of the war. My husband got killed in his first bnttle he had been called out Immediately and I was heartbroken. It must have affected my mind, and in some way I ceased to please the audiences, ns my heart was too heavy. I was dis charged. I was never taught to do anything but slug, nnd with my mind bewildered I made my way to America to go to some friends in Chicago. I hud enough money to curry me over for a year. I found my friends hnd moved to Pittsburgh, but I never found them here. With my money all gone nnd my heart sick of all thoughts of the opera, ns It brought my dead hus band back too vividly to me, I applied at different places, but could get no work. An Irish womnn got me a place scrubbing In the hotel here; but the bird "song and the blue skies, with the breath of Italy all about, made my heart Joyous und I sang." The woman then dropped her head. Mr. Mulllns said something to the Interpreter, who stooped close to her und talked. Her face brightened and she nervously grasped Mr. Mulllns' hand and kissed It passionately. He had told her the management would give her a position suitable to her gifts. Discovered War Eagle, Hidden for Fifty Years others drove' a light wagon. At glance .Madge recognized them as Mexicans. She noted, too, their semi military garb, She had acquired a very fair smnt- terlng of the Spanish language, and only n few overheard sentences were necessary to apprise Madge of the fact that the long-dreaded raid was a reality. The leader of the group was handsome, courtly young fellow. He g.-ive sharp, definite orders. All of the men, except two, deployed, sur rounding the building. The leader ad vanced nnd swept his hat to. the ground In a respectful bow, "Senorlta, a brief domiciliary visit of necessity, order by superiors," he observed In a suave, still half-mocking tone. "No harm will be done to you but there must be no outcry or at tempt to escape. You are alone?" 'Yes," she retorted, nnd her flash ing eyes dashed the audacious fellow rjLYMOUTH, MASS. Here Is food for thought on the part'of those who with their sheer contempt and defi are seeking portents. Plymouth has seen Its old war eagle once more after ance. It hud been hidden from the gaze of the public for many years. An Italian laborer brought the old bird to the light in the attic of the old Bramhull building on Main street, which is un dergoing alterations. Before and at the time of the outbreak of the Civil war the old effigy of a spread eagle, carved In wood and standing on half-unfurled American flags crossed in its talons, stood over the gun rack of the Standlsh Guards, in whut is now Ma sonic hall. When, as Company B, Third Massachusetts Infantry, the organization became part of the Minute Men of '61, on the first call, Cnpt, Charles C. Doten, commanding, gave the order to march, his men picked their muskets from beneath the eagle nnd started for Fortress Monroe. The eagle remained there while the hall was used for an armory and then found a place in the Plymouth post office In the Davis building when the late George F. Weston was In charge, hanging high above the row of boxes. About 1877 the office was removed to Odd Fellows building, and the eagle disappeared in the move. How it landed in the rubbish of the old attic with ancient account books and such is unknown. The workman who found the bird flung it into a heap of refuse nnd there it was .found. Its gilding has become shabby, but the flags are as bright as when they went Into retirement, Warm Reception Is Promised Returning Hubby rETROIT. Edward Louis of this city gave himself up to the authorities J in Menominee a few days ago. "I'm a wife deserter," he said bravely. "I want to take my medicine like a man.' up, nil w IF HE COMES BftCK HE" (LI KNOCK HIS HEAD oFF- a The police obligingly locked him Then they asked Sheriff Stein to look up Mrs. Louis at 741 Junction avenue, the address given by the peni tent husband. At this house the Wayne county Tnere was a sPeI1 of silence, deputies found a buxom young wom an, about twenty years old, energet ically sweeping off her front steps. She was mildly interested in hearing that her husband was In Me nominee but flourished her broom In realistic fury when she learned of his self-made charge. ' "He's kidding himself!" she told the deputies. "He's no vife deserter. Do's Just excess baggage. I'll meet him with .this broom If ha tries to tell mo he's a wife deserter. I'm through with him. All he wants Is a ticket to Detroit after clearing out on hU last pay day when we'd been married only six months. Wife deserter? Hah I Well, I won't claim him ! I've got my old-Job back. I'm living with my mother and I have my freedom. Tell him to quit kidding himself! I'm happy without him!" AROUND THE WORLD British newspapers are again to be reduced In size. Tha British naval boot Is of a light pntturn, owing to, its being chiefly used for deck duties. Cooked crabs' claws are nibbled by the people of Seville, Spain, more for pastime than for sustenance. Tho oat cakes of Scotland are said to approach nearer the primitive type of bread than anything else known today. Thousands of Mohammedans know the Korun by heart. Vienna reported a saving of $142,000 worth of, gas under last year's new time schedule. Rudyard Kipling nnd Connn Doyle nre confident speakers, und do not seem to be troubled with nerves. The ralllIons-dollnr insurance fad didn't last long among Gotham's gold kings. It's the two-million-dollar habit now. J. P, Morgan took out $2,500,000 and H. P. Davison, his partner, took out an extra million. "We counted on that," remarked the lender. "Petro-Sanchez the box. We know it is here." Madge chilled. She comprehended to what they referred the little safe in her father's bedroom. It had often held heavy collections nnd Important documents. These ruffians had learned of it. Their presence might mean beg gary to her father, it might destroy all their fond plans for the future! Steadily she faced the leader. She saw that resistance or pleading were alike futile. Madge paled slightly as the two men who had entered the house returned. It required all their strength to carry the little safe to the wagon. "It Is locked," spoke one of them. "The chief will know how to open it!" chuckled the leader. "All ahead. I will drive. At your pleasure, senor lta." Madge was compelled to mount the wagon seat. The cavalcade in the lead, the leader took up the linos. You must not be left behind to start on alarm," he remarked smoothly. "It remains with -the chief as to your per manent detention." Madge turned her face away from the speaker. She refused to exchange words with him. He allowed the lines to trail and the horse went slowly, al though the horsemen had spurred up and were quite a distance ahead. Madge crowded to the extreme end of the seat ns her polite but Insistent captor resumed his observations. "The' exigencies of warfare are cruel, senorlta," he continued with spe cious blandness. "For Instance, Chief Avarro bus little conscience. Listen, you nre beautiful so much so that I, loyal as I have been, will forget my commander and my country If you will become my bride. You will not speak? I appear contemptible to you? Not so, I am only in earnest. I can save you; I ciin save the precious safe. One word from you and I can turn from the road. I know an obliging priest. I will be true nnd loving. Think It over." Madge's heart sank. She knew that his reference to his bandit chief bore tinge of truth.. She shuddered. Then suddenly she shrank back. It hnd grown dusk, but the moon was Just rising. It cast a sudden shadow across the front of the vehicle. Then a hand shot from a horseman who had suddenly nppenred. It seized the leader. He whirled from the seat through the air, and " "Splash!" He hnd landed ten feet down into the waters of the broad, rolling river. , 4 v Recognized Them as Mexicans. ers were headed on their way to the nearest Jail, and she and her father and Walter had reached home. Reub en Willis luughed. "It was needless, Jewel," he said. "Its former contents are safe in the bank vault at Houston." "And that handsome but wicked fellow wanted me to run away with him," pouted Madge. "We will cheer the ennui of his ten year sentence In the penitentiary by sending him one of our wedding an nouncements," proposed the happy Walter hilariously. Mechanical Protection. "I think I have hit on an Invention," said the fut plumber, "that will make my fortune." "New kind of mop?" the thin car penter inquired, facetiously. "Not on your life." "Patent clothespin, I suppose?" "You've got another 'suppose' com ing." "When what Is it?" "Talking machine." "But the world Is talked to death now." "This is different." "In what way?" "It only uses three sentences, one at a time." ' "What does It say?" "It says In gruff tones, 'Who is at the door?" 'Get my gun' and 'Call the putrol wagon.' " 'But whnt is the idea?" "I am going to sell them to maiden ladles so they can make unwelcome strangers think there is a man in tha house." Out for Ease. Some of the Inmates of an asylum were engaged In sawing wood, and an attendant thought that one old man, who appeared to be working as hard ns anybody, hud not much to show for his labor. Approaching him, the attendant soon discovered the cause. The old man had turned the saw upside down, with the teeth in the uir, and waa working away with the back of it. "Here, I say, my man," remarked the attendant, "what nre you doing? You'll never cut the wood in that fash- Ion. Turn the saw over." The old mnn paused and stared at tha attendant. "Did you ever try to saw this way?" he asked. "Well, no," replied the attendant, 'of course I haven't." "Then hold thy noise, man." was the instant reply. "I've tried both ways, and" impressively "this Is easier." Origin of Harmless Phosphorus. The danger attendant on the use of the white or yellow phosphorus illus trated In the crop of fatal accidents, suicides and In several cases murder by phosphorus poisoning which imme diately followed the production of the new form of match, led to the innocu ous and now familiar red or amorphous phosphorus Introduced in 1S32 by J. E. Lunstorm of Sweden and which has with more or less variation remained in use to this day. New York World. Irish Blarney. An Irish magistrate, one of the old school, was summing up a case In a Dublin court. The plaintiff was a hand some woman and her good-looking daughter was one of the witnesses. Gentlemen of the Jury," said his hon or, "everything In the case seems plain except, of course, Mrs. O'Toole and her charming daughter." Boston Tran script ' No Clue. "Did that Englishman drop any thing?" whispered the political spy. "No," replied his assistant, "nothing but his h'a." i