The Eaton Democrat., June 06, 1878, Image 1

About The Eaton Democrat. (Eaton, Ohio) 1875-1903

Image provided by: Ohio History Connection, Columbus, OH

                
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PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
v .:,S v.--!
' v i - ! -i " ' '
yJEATDN, O., -
IT
L. Gr. GOULD.
rcmoFSJBOTrioi:, ,
- In Advance, ; - '- $1.50
. JOB BRINTIWO of T1 descriptions furnished to
order, md guaranteed, to prore satisfactory at U
trash ty. vi, i-. i
A CURTAIN LECTURE.
11:30 P. M.
Whett go to the country this summer) U
Now, that's too absurd, Mr. B. I ,
To bury the girls in a fanuhoiiae,.; Zi
When BeTer a man they will no.
Bow ea-i 70a expect them to marry T w
Yoo haven't the money te spend 1. $
1 tell yon that's all stuff and nonsense!
VnnMl llnil it ihmI In th -nil.
It
When they're left on your hands lor a lifetime, -You'll
wish Ton had listened to me. ' - "
And retrenched in some other direction
I tell jon 70a will, Mr. B.I
Tts Md everybody lre're going ;
' To Long Branch, and then to the Springs; "
And now, to come down to the country 1 5 j
They'll be saying all manner of things 1 ' f
Bare you thoagbt 0 the shock to your credit? '
That's worth more than money, yoa say;'
x nope loirs win nunc it is meanoe6e,
And not that you
1 really can't nay.
'Pi'
I think tou mlcht t
I try to afford. it; .
T. J,...), nmlto m.lnl akA.lt an.
Bat the girls will be so disappointed-
. 111 cruel 1 11 is, sir. a. , .
The Grays bare asked Julia to Newport '
' I worked hard enough, I am sure .. '.";'
To get her inrited last winter,
Must she write now and say she's too poor
To bny a respectable outfit? .
What excuse she can make I don't know,"'
And it never will do to offend them;
Indeed Mr. B,, she must eo! ' ,tOV-'.'..
They more in the Tory best circles;
It's a chance that she oughtn'to miss;
l?d never have given that party, -.. . -
. If I'd thought it was coming to this.
Dont tell me that coal shares hare fallen t
- That's the way with Tou off upon stocks, "
Whenever I astt for a dollar.
Or tell you the girls want new tracks.
Seems to me, to be risking your money
In this way is Terr unwise;
And if you will do it, why don't yon : . .
iQTest In something that will rise? '
Ton know how we all hate the country,- v
And just because board there is cheap (-. '
To ask us to go there this summer. : l
'
Harper's Basar.
A STRANGE EXPERIENCE.
" I took the rooms without much consid
eration, for I had gone to Dusseldorf upon
a miserable errand; none, bthery indeed
than to consult a famous oculist there.
He wanted to watch oyer me for at least
a month, and preferred that I should
have, the- yietr or an apartment in a
private house rather than be subject to
the noise, and -bustle of ia hotel.' He
knew -Hhe yery rooms for me they be
longed to an artist friend of hjs, an ani
mal painter, who was away on a holiday,
and who would be glad to. get a tenant
for the time being. They consisted of a
large studio and dormitory attached,
with a ' cupboard-like ante-room that
gave by an outer door upon the main
etair, whilst boOi painting-room "and
bedroom opened by separate doors into
this tiny vestibule. Only after I had been
settled in them for some hours had I the
spirit even to regard the contents of my
sew abode. There were soft couches,
thick curtains, rich tapestry, double
piled rugs, antique mirrors, cabinets,
book shelves, tables, chairs, lamps, what
not, but save an easel or two stowed
away in a further corner, little or noth
ing -to indicate the presence of a pro
fessional., artist' Some pictures .there
were about, but with one exception they
were hung upon the walls as part of
their decoration. This exception, how
ever, was noticeable,' and was standing
TiB framed on a-chair, where, had I dared
to. have withdrawn the blind, the rays
from the high studio window would have
fallen upon it . - .
Placed there in the obscure light, to
ward six o'clock in the autumn evening,
this picture looked to me like . the pic
ture of a crouching animal; 'a leopard,
panther, cheetah, one could not say. I
could not see clearly, and it did not in
terest me ; I merely saw it as I sawelse, au
tomatically, dimly. My mind was too full
of the gravity of my condition,, of my
prospects, my future ; I was very lonely,
too, the more so because my man, who
would otherwise have been reading to
me, had been taken ill in the afternoon
and had been obliged to go to bed, his
room being at the top of the house.
Thus, then, I sat in the darkest corner
of the room, with nothing but my own.
gloomy thoughts for company. Gloom
ier and gloomier they grew as I dwelled
upoa them ; until, indeed, I worked my
self into a nervous fever, a fever
prehension. Presently 1 was Btartled by
a 'gentle knock at the door, one single,
gentle knock. Involuntarily I cried,
" Come in ;" but no one appeared, and
for the matter of that I had noticed ho
footstep.' So I thought I had "been mis
taken, and that the knock had beer only
one of those mysterious noises heard in
rooms and not at all times easily, ac
counted for. But, five minutes after
ward it was repeated exactly as before
one single, gentle knock there was no
mistake, this time. I.It was hot a knuckle
against the wood but as of a real metal
knocker.' ; It was plainly,' undeniably a
knock at the Btudio door, which
opened Into the . aforesaid ante-room.
Again I cried '"out,.,-" Come in," though
again . I, had heard no footstep. Yet
there was no response ) and then remem
bering I was abroad and my words might
not be understood, I uttered their equiv
alent in German, though knowing little
enough of the language. - Still no result;
so I waited and listened how, and in five
minutes once more there 1 came the
knock, precisely like the last Then I
rose hurriedly, anxiously, and went to
the door, opened it and looked out'
There was no one there; faint as the
light was and growing fainter now every
minute, I Was sure of that. I stepped
across to the door opening apon the
main stair. It was slightly ajar. ' As I
did sa I was seized by a curious cold
sensation a sensation of goose-flesh all
over me, as it is called. Opening wide
this outer door, I st'll found no one upon
the landing not a creature was about,
upon or down the stairs ; all was silent as
the grave. 'ty'.H y L. , v ,
Considerably puzzled and nervous,
after a minute I returned to my seat in
the studio, shutting the door behind
me. I had scarcely been seated an in
stant oefore that same chilly feeling
crept through me again, amounting now
to a shudder, that would have set my
teeth chatteriDg had I not controlled it
With it there came, too, a vain sense of
dread and a shrinking as it were, within
myself, ouite-- indescribable. - WW.
could it mean t The weather was fatherl
sultry ana close than otherwise, and I
had hitherto felt heated; now I could
have borne a fire, f Nav. I would ha
lighted one had there been any prepara
tions for winter yet, in the elaborately
ornamented china stove at- my elbow."
As it was I sat shivering at intervals as
if I had an ague coming on, and feeling
more miserable, ill and deDressed than
ever. .:Yes, I ,sat, lauppose halt aid
nour, strangely aifuncUned to meve, but
iiBwsuuiif eageriy ana wonaering if l
should near tne kneck again; but it
never came, thevilence waa unbroken. '
Very little light now remained in the
apartment, and my gaze from my cor
ner fell upon the picture on the chair:
it was-the only object discernible; the
rays of twilight lingering longer of
course- just beneath the hisrh window.
Still merely regarding this object me
chanically, I can hardly say what it
was that made me look at it with any
thing like' an attentive interest, that first
: f . ..
ft "V-;.i (ij to ' r-' T.-t -'i . i""-- r'i-''i ' J:.;i li: n yi'r.& f
L. G. GOULD,' Publisher.
0K XlrrNO, -28;
DeToted to the
Interests of tie Democratic Party., anil
EATON, OHIO, THURSDAY, JUNE 6, 1878.
dkL 1
the Collection of Local anil General News. ;
Terin8,y$1.50 per
!1
Annum,' IndTarice. ' '
WHOLE NUMBER J579.-
made tne think that I was looking at it
with my brain as well as my eyes. I
imagine that it must have been a cer
tain sense of surprise at seeing it so.
plainly allTelse beingobscure. ' : At any.
rate,' I could 'now .make out the form
and outline cf the animal in strong con
trast to the half-toned back; ground of
the canvas, and in a way. that I did Dot
think I , had been able to do before.
.Yea, there "was the crouching creature,
whatever, it was, dark, and jnysterious,
though with -a iridescent ifigh upon it,
that made it palpable plain even, to my
imperfect' Vision; ""A'leopard or cheetah
surely, . painted mixh an immense force
and life-like ,'jrigor,' and. represented in
that writhingj crouching' attitude which
immediately precedes .the BDrinfr unon
tne prey nunuueu uaeuiun tire was
-visible in -tne-aniraaiaeye s, tne,. long
curved tail seemed upon the point of
lashing itself with the lithe rage of the
wild beast I -grew f quite excited as I
descerned : these details, these striking
evidences of the artist's skill." ' Eeally
the creature seemed almost alive, almost
moving. ,- So true to nature was it that
as the fact impressed me, the chill and
dread- under which-1 had before been
laboring were immensely increased, and,
nervous-and miserable as I was, there
started cold . drops upon my .brow.
Shrinking more ana more within myself,
my teeth chattering, and with a horri
ble sense of stifling, I was about to rise
in sheer dismay, when I was brought to
my feet, aghast and in actual terror, by
plainly seeing" the animal move. Yes,
undoubtedly, for- a moment distinctly,
there was a writhing motion, and then
with .one' angry sweepo the tail, the
creature seemed to spring forward into
the blackness Of the"Toora; and-there re
mained nothing upon the chair appar
ently but the pale, plain, even-tinted
tone of the can Vast I rushed to the
doo? panic-stricken;, seized my hat from
thetable in the ante-room, fled down the
stairs, and out of the house.
The pleasant evening air revived me;
I began to ollect myself a little, and to
question whether I had not been a great
fool a nervous, highly wrought unreas
oning fool. , Was I not like a frightened
child, dreading to be alone in the dusk,
and who in its panic endows with life the
shadow'of some simple object and thinks
it has seen a bogie I No, I refused quite
to accept this as ah explanation. Out of
condition as I was, I was not quite an im
becile ; my wits had not ail deserted me,
and nothing, upon further considera
tion would ever persuade me that I had
been the prey of a mere hallucination.
That there had been an unaccountable
knock at my door, I would swear with
my last breath, and that cold shivering
state which had supervened was no fancy.
It was gone nowj 'I was perfectly calm
and- save -for one greats anxiety my
sight untroubled." Turning and look
ing up at the house as it stood formal
and gloomy in the twilight, for an in-;
stant I thought of re-entering, but I re
coiled from the idea as soon as formed.
No: I could not go back alone; weak,
idiotic as my conduct might .seeing I
shrank from the thought of entering
those dusky rooms without a companion.
I was not forbidden to go out of doors
in twilight or at night, and I determined
to walk round to my doctor, and as he
knew -the rooms to confide in- him,
and ask him as a favor to go back with me
for awhile. Unluckily, as I then thought,
he was away from home had gone into
the ; country, and would not return
until the following morning.' Clearly I
could not expose my weakness, if such
it was, to any one else. I knew no one
else inlihe place, and not speaking Ger
man could not attempt an explanation,
even had I been willing, with the porter,
or with the waiter from the hotel
whence I had arranged my meals were
to be sent There was nothing' for it
then but to go back alone, unless I choose
to rouse, my servant,' and Teally that
would be' too foolish ; no, I must face it
myself. So, plucking up courage, I
went straight back, re-entered the rooms,
the doors of which I found just as I had
left them, slightly ajar; lighted a can
dle, waikea boldly up to tne picture on
the chair and examined it There-was
the animal, a spotted -beast, panther,
cheetah, whatever it was, exactly as my
first casual look at it had suggested ; a
large and vigorous sketch in oil, evi
dently from, a master's hand.. While I
was looking at it the waiter brought my
supper, jle spote some n.ngiisn, but l
disdained retemng to wnac naa Hap
pened; and' without any return of the
shivering sensation,' I soon after went to
bed and slept slept till my servant, now
seemingly all right again, brought me
my conee and roll in tne morning. -
" ilahl .What an ass 1 have beenl" 1
said to myself; but directly I thought
straight back on the affair, I was more
convinced than ever that whatever my
conduct, its. causes .were facts.. . .
. It . was a bright sunshiny morning,
with, that sort, of , "dazzling light every
where which I was above all things to
avoid "exposing myself to. So after
breakfast I sat in the darkened studio,
with my men in the bedchamber reading
tome... Well, we had thus been sitting
for an honr or so, and I began to be
deeply interested in what I was listening
to, when suddenly all my thoughts were
distracted, all my wits scared, by the
knock 'at "'the studio door, exactly -as:
before the single, gentle knock,
exactly like that last night.--With it,
too, on the instant came the slight re
newal of the creepy goose-flesh feeling.
My man ceased reading; he had heard
the knock as plainly asj.
" What was that, sirT he asked pres
ently,. ri..:rA- U, ,-,s??
I called him- in, and whispering told
him part of my experience on the pre
vious evening.
" Keep quiet and listen,"' I said, my
teeth all chattering., " you will hear it
again in a few minutes."-1- 1 ' -' :- '
We were both silent, and, sure
enough, after a short interval there it
was. He was going forward toward the
door ? I chedked buns' -5 ". Z 7r; .
" Wo,'' I Went on ;" lookout the bed
room door;, go on tiptoe and open it
very softly, ana see what you can maxe
out". -
" I need not open it at all, sir," he an
swered ; " there is a window in it with a
curtain across it
I followed him as 'he went back to the
bedroom, and saw him gently draw aside
the curtain, which 1 bad noticed. :
" What do you see?" I whispered.
He was looking through into the ante
room.
" Nothing," was the answer; " it is so
dark." .. .
But at that instant the knock was re
peated.
" Can you not see .the studio-door.?"
I said. - - im-: t ' '
' "Yes, sir; I can just make it out, and
I .see something shining in -,the middle
of iC about three feet from the flooV."
There was another pause, andirr'the
silence the knock was heard again'. We
both drew back. Before we could either
of us speak footsteps were on the land
ing, and I recognized the doctor's voice
i
speaking to the porter, who evidently
was showing him' up to my apartments.
In another moment he had entered the
bedroom, to my intense relief. Briefly
and hastily I explained what had hap
pened just then and the night before. -"Goot1
gracious I" he exclaimed, ' in
his broken English, "vy it must be poor
Cato 1 O, te most venderf ul beast in the
vorldT Tid I not tell you of .Cato te
cat? No,. I taresay'not,;Mein friend
Smitt has trained him to all things but
speak. Fritz te porter has te charge of
him; but of course he escape to make
to examination of his master's rooms;
he toes ' not understand vy he is not to
admit him as usuaLf '
"But," I interposed, '.'does he knock
at the door when he wants to admit
himself? How can he do that?"
The doctor laughed good-humoredly.
' " Ah, I have not told you. No, natur
lich. ; Smitt has put te little : brass
knocker on te door, for him to strike.
He always strike vis his paw vhen he
vont to come in; lift so yishisleetle
hand so ;" and the doctor still laugh
ing, imitated the action with his hand
against the corner of a hanging picture
frame. " A light was beginning to break
upon me. ''.'' "' 1 "
" And has Mr. Smith, may I ask, been1
painting Cato's portrait lately ?" . :- ..
." O, yes, te most wonderful likeness in
te vorld, te most wonderful Bketch, size
of life an illusion, a deception I". ,
" Ah, and it stands on the chair by
the high window?" I said." ,
" Yes, te favorite chair vair Cato sit
always to watch for te mouse ; te hole is
tareby below. Smitt has made him to
sit like as in his picture, or as I should
say,, ze picture as like to him sitting.
He stand on te chair to make te decep
tion complete, so dat vhen te cat is not
there te picture look as if te cat was te
cat there." ''
" That was it then, of course," I went
on. "He knocked at the door: 1 opened
it;-he slipped by me unseen, and also
unseen perched on his chair just in front
of his picture, . until in the. dusk I
chanced to observe his tail move!" . ,
x " O yes, O yes I ten he see a mouse,
ten, ah, ah ! He pounce that is, the
cat out of te bag, as von say." -:
: " Yes, of course, I said : " and in
the dusk, with my imperfect sight, I con
ceived it as I have related." . ,
"Ah, tear me, yes; vot a fuss! how
you : have set your pulse going 1. Come
now, be calm, and sit down." "
We had walked into the studio, and
the cat having slipped in, and knowing
the doctor,' advanced with a friendly
purr to meet him. . All the while 1 had
been talking my
cold creepy feeling
te, and now increased
naa been upon me
viuiisinay. .... . .
" Ah, to be sure ; I see now," went on
the doctor. " You are affected electri
i A,
cally, of te cat Yes, a strange instance,
interesting to observe. You have known
it before?" - r.,-:s, - '
" Never to this extent I have never
liked cats ; this one is very peculiar ;"
and I shrank within myself as the huge
creature, remarkable alike for its
size and dusky spotted coat, approached.
xne doctor made a gesture ot repelling
it, speaking meanwhile to it in German.
It seemed to understand in a moment,
and with a bound lighted upon the chair
in front of the picture, and settling
itself exactly in front of its life like pre
sentment . upon the canvas, looked as it
had done the night before, like a living
portrait
"Yes," mused the doctor, as he sat
down beside me, still with his fingers on
my pulse, " it is very interesting, tis
electric cxpxoaaion of te antipaty, cu
rious to observe in you very marked.
increased doubtless by te depression of
nervous energy under which you are
suffering."
" Uan you account for it scien
tifically?" I 'said, still shivering - hor
ribly. ..
"No; not easy." he answered, "to
explain te physical alteration vich must
be taking place in te anatomical sub
stratum of your -conscionness. Your
Shakspeare knew of it, but not scien
tifically. He makes the old - Shylock
Some men tare are lore not a gaping pig;
Some tat are mad il tey behold a cat;
j : ,. for affection. ..
' Mistress of passion, sways it to te mood
iOI what it likes loates. .
Fah! I vill drive the beast out of te
room ; it is bad to agitate you. Cato,
you must go to prison.'
tie drove tne cat away, and took such
Srecautions as prevented my being again
isturbed by him during my month's
residence in uusseldort a month which,
thanks to the skillful treatment I re
ceived, ended with the complete restor
ation of my sight, but not in my recon-
cuiauon to cats,
Scientific and Useful.
- It is stated that four hundred years ago
but seven metals had been discovered,
while we are now acquainted with the
existence ot nity-one, thirty of which.
nearlythree-fif ths, have been made known
to us since the beginning of the present
century.
Clock-work has been successfully ap
plied as a motor to sewing-machines by
a mechanician of Vienna. It can be
wound up in a few minutes, and it will
run for several hours, its speed being
meanwhile fully under the control of
the operator.
A powerful bar magnet, in connec
tion with a Grove battery, has been suc
cessfully used m .London, Jbngland, in
extracting a chip of steel from the eye
of a mechanic. When the magnet was
four inches from the .eye, the chip of
Steet sprang from the lens where it had
lodged to the inner surface of the cornea,
whence it was removed without much
difficulty. . - -It
has been computed that one hun
dred of the single threads of a full grown
spider-are ot equal to- the diameterof
the hair of the human beard! and, con
sequently, jf the - threads and hair be
both round, ten thousand such threads
are not larger than such a hair. It is
calculated that four million of a young
spider's are not so large as the single
numannain . s --:-: .,- ;
Wood is stronsr in ratio to its weicrrt.
The heaviest and densest will prove the
most durable. This should be selected
tor-weignt-carrymg purposes, such as
the ties of bridges, where the two qualities
ot strength ana durability are desirable.
Coarse-grained wood weighs the heaviest
and, as it contains more resin than that
of a finer grain, is especially adapted for
a position which has to contend with any
degree of dampness.
Concerning the so-called rain-tree of
Pew, the water does not ooze from the
trunk, and hardly ever falls in such
quantity as to convert the ground into a
swamp. 1 he fact appears to be that the
liquid which seems to fall from the
leaves and branches is produced by a
multitude of cicades that live on the
juices of the tender leaves. This ap
pears to be analogous to the production
of honey dew from the lime tree by the
i i -
agency oi apniaes.
PERSONAL TOPICS.
Item for side-showmen: four-year-
old child in Eehnebunk, Me., has a head
weighing fifteen, pounds and a body
weighing nine. , j,., :.!. : ; ' ;
" Gail Hamilton is - too smart to
live," says the TJtica Obterver; and then,
after a long pause, it wickedly adds the
wla ) ' - 4 -' ' -'
The report about Edison having in
vented an auriphone "capable of re
cording the ery faintest whisper in1 a
room and repeating 'it m any desired
volume," is an unfounded yarn.
Let's see, it has been nearly three
weeks since a St Louis man has shot a
irl because she wouldn t marry him.
las the holy flame of human affection
died out in that loving village? , Have
men entirely ceaeed to love.?. ' ' ,
Twenty-thefe women are now'study-
ihg medicine in Paris, only five of whom
are French. The others comprise six
English and twelve Russians. But thirty
two women have taken medical degrees
in Paris since 1865. - nri
A Little Washington correspond
ent of the Monthly Elevator says that
Dr. LeMoyne has , received nearly a
hundred applications from persons wish
ing to be cremated since .the incinera
tion of Mrs. Pitman. '
The artistic sensation of Paris is an
artist named -; Andre 1 Gauther,1 who
draws large audiences nightly to see
mm paint a landscape in hve minutes, a
portrait in six, and two different pic
tures at once, one with each hand..; ......
William E. Dodge can hardly be
very enthusiastic over ceramics just
now. Me has lost one hundred and
sixty thousand dollars,' it is sairf; in a
porcelain company, and other members
of his family have sunk as much more.
Me, Fboude, the historian; recently
addressed to Dr. Newman a letter, in
which, he says that "the: principle: of
gravitation is only looked upon now as
an . hypothesis by all .careful rminds,"
and, further, that it would be far better
if all mankind could agree "to hold
their opinions as mere hypotheses." " -
- A leasing Socialist in' Detroit said.
a few days ago, in conversation with a
reporter: We have a 'hot summer'
before us. I mean by a. 'hot summer '.
trouble between . labor and capital
Labor will assert its rights... I mean
that the railroad men and coal miners
are going to strike, and there will be se
rious trouble." i!-- '
At Bolocrne. Italy, in the old ehnrch
of San Stefano, there is a queer old pil-
1.. SiV. - T-ijr I !jS
" xuuuiimu wiui a uuiia inscription
writ in choice Gothic characters, which
informs the heedless passer by that it is
the column of flagellation, and that for
ever'
ry blow you give your bare body
hundred years of pains of nureratorv
one
will be remitted.
Ma. and Mrs. McCollester auarreled
in Story, Iowa, and he sued for a di
vorce; but after the case had been a
while in the court they settled their dif
ficulty, and lived together acain. He
died recently, and the widow learns that
tne suit resulted in divorce, the lawyer
having failed to discontinue it, so that
she has no legal claim to the estate.
Dublin has a bad refutation for
drunkenness, but it must be conceded
that if its greatest brewer and distiller
derive their vast wealth from sources
which do harm,' they are unexampled
among men in this line ot business for
munificence. Sir B. Guinness's magni
ficent restoration of St Patrick's Cathe
dral, Dublin, has been surpassed by Mr.
Boe, the distiller, who has spent one
million dollars on the complete restora
tion of Christ. Church, the other Pro
testant Cathedral in that city;
They tell a story in Lynn, Mass., of a
physician who was called to see a lawyer,
and went, supposing his professional
services were required. He found, how
ever, that he was threatened with a suit
ior damages lor slandering a rival phy-r
sician, unless he would consent to pay
damages. He refused to do so, and pre
sented a bill for his professional call.
Payment of that was refused.andhe has
placed it in- the hands of another: legal
genueman ior collection.
In personal appearanee Mr. Bright
is of medium height. His motions are
energetic and active. His fieure is well
put together in a solid and somewhat
square shape. His head is nobly well
set on, being erect aud firm in its pose.
He has a pleasant expression of face
ana ciear complexion, a light gray eye;
fray hair and whiskers. He wears his
at somewhat sailor-fashion, more on
the back of his head than forward.
London Letter, '"';..!.' ,
Chief Naches informs us that at '.
council of Indians which is to be held
in a few weeks he will resign the chief
tainship of the Piutes. He has a little
farm on the Big Meadows, and is going
to try to be an American citizen, and
will no more be chief. He says : '.' My
peeple are dying of diseases they do not
understand and cannot prevent Tbey
are passing away like the snow on the
mountains, imrty-four of thfem have
died in Winnemucca and at Big Head'
ows within the last two or three months."
Winnemucca bt&oer State.
English Prime Ministers have rarely
ueeu very ncn men, ana some nave
Deen quiie me reverse. . .tttt never
married, and declared that he couldn't
afford it, and Canning and Disraeli were
bolstered up by wealthy wives. The
late Lord Derby and Sir Robert Peel are
about the only instances of very wealthy
Prime Ministers, though Lord Mel
bourne was very well off. Lord Palmers-
ton only became so late in life through
n riMA in minoral nmnsv TTio v!f.
too, succeeded to her brother, Lord
Melbourne s estate.
; In 1851, Joseph Medill, the veteran
editor of the Chicago Tribune, wrote to
Horace Greeley from his then home at
Cleveland, Ohio, inquiring whether
there might be a chance for him to se
cure a position upon the editorial staff
ei tne JNew xort Tribune. The reply
was a decided negative, coupled with
that original and memorable advice.
"Go West, young man! Go West!"
This is the real origin of that now fa
mous and historical expression, and.
naturally enough, Mr. Medill preserves
the letter with especial care. He did
go West, built UP the Chicacrrt Tribune.
and has acquired material wealth as well
as journalistic honors,
Miss Kellogg is reported by an en
emy to have declared that ' newspaper
men are like lemons fit only- to be
squeezed as much as possible, then
tossed aside." Whereat the impudent
Buffalo Exprest cries out: "You just
xeep your distance, uiara Jiellogg.
roiicei roucei
The picnic season having arrived, the
joke about the young man in lavender
trowsers sitting down on the custard pie
has broken out all over the country
worse than the small-pox or the spring
poem.
Mr. Tuckley's Perplexity.
Some two or three weeks aro Mr.
Tuckley concluded to take a little run
out into the country on the Saturday
evening train and spend the Sabbath
with, some of his rural'r relatives. To
make his visit seem" the more friendly
and disinterested he went through the
market on hjg way -to the depot and
filled one side of his irripsack 'with
young onions, ! tadiBheS, new; potatoes
and ,other garden "sass", that he felt
quite sure would be a great surprise and
treat to them. . Within a very few min
utes ' after , taking his seat in the car he
felt firmly1 confident that the man immediately-
in t.-ont of him wasn't a
Hard-shell Baptist, unless he had united
with the church very early in life, i i
. . ' P-phew I" he mused, diving his nose
deeply into his handkerchief ;. " I vow 1
don't believe that, man was ever under
water in his life. It seems a shame that
such people are allowed- to travel out
side of the cattle cars; ; I wonder when
he changed his shirt last? ' Perdition
and porous .plasters J Drat me if I don't
believe the man's got -the plague he
smells,. like a corpse. . Misery! What
vile feet he has., Why don't he bury
em . for .a . week er twol I wonder, or
leave them' out over night , some time
when a heavy frost is looked f or ? There
ought to be a law to make people wash
themselves once a year anyhow ! .i It's
an outrage, and a nuisance, and a down
right shame to go round smelling like a
garbage wagon, and if a man ain't got
decency enough to deodorize himself
once in awhile ne ought to be cooped up
all -alone till he'd stink himself to
death!" -V.- """ "v .?Jj
Meantime the offensive stranrrer was
sniffing and snuffing and fidgeting about
in his seat ..Then he faced 'Completely
around and . bent upon Mr; Tuckley
a searching, withering look. : Mr. . Tuck
ley tightened the grip upon his nose, and
returned the gaze with interest ' ' ,',
"Are you a medical student, sirT' in
quired the strange man. '-' ' " -'' !''-1
r- ".'So, sir;- I am not": responded' Mr.
Tuckley, wondering at the question.
- ihej stranger gave, him a startled
peculiar look, settled back into his seat
for a moment or two, and then bounced
up impetuously, seized his satchel and
bolted into the next forward car. J
Tuckley was a little surprised at the
strange action of the man but marveled
that he hadn't taken, his smell along
with him. ' None of it 'seemed to-be
missing, and what appeared .still more
singular, every body in that part of the
car seemed 'to be holding his nose"
and eyeing him suspiciously. Mr. Tuck
ley felt moved to try a change of atmos
phere, and at once -proceeded to a seat
in the rear end of the car. As he passed
down the aisle his satchel accidentally
brushed the face of a-sleeping pilgrim
whose head was hanging across- the arm
of the seat -Quicker than .light the
man was wide awake, twisting up his
iace in ail conceivaoie contortions, ana
wanting to know : i ; ;i -
. "1 say, pard, what a the row! Jiave
we switched into a soap factory, or
telescoped with a train of hmbergerf" -
Mr. Tuckley threw back a withering
look of indignation and passed on, leav
ing the man to scent out the mystery as
best ne could.
Picking out a seat as remote as possi
ble from the other passengers he con
cluded to curl up and - court slumber,
and thus get nd of the horrid smell
which still clung to the car. Arrang
ing his valise for a pillow he proceeded
to make himself comfortable, 'but no
sooner had his face touched the satchel
than his nasal muscles contracted in
rebellion so suddenly as to almost
loosen his scalp. But the mystery was
cleared up at last, and Mr. Tuckley
stood face to face with the fact that
his capabilities for' versatility in the
province of inexcusable imbecility were
decidedly more extended than he had
dreamed of.
, ,The next .time Mr. Tuckley feels
moved to manifest his good will by an
offering of garden truck, it is safe to pre
dict that he will award the job of trans
porting the . same to the express com
pany. . "" '
Two Wasted Lives.
Truth stranger that fiction could be
told of the life o& the late Mrs. C. one
of the most eccentric characters of theJ
ooutn-west. Jf rom the administration of
Washington to that of Van Buren she
was an habitue, of the. capital.' Jeffer
son,' Randolph and Madison were her
contemporaries. Her youth was spent
on tne snores of the Ohio when, f itts-
burcr was a tradinrr-fnrt. KVir rielrl dur
ing her life all of her husband's great
wealth. The heir his nephew who
was to receive the property at her death.
when he came of age refused to learn
any profession or trade, as Mrs. C. was
then htty and in infirm health. -. She
would not rive him a penny, although
she was childless, living alone ou her
plantations, surrounded only by slaves. '
" You better go to work, George," she
would , say to himT, I'll i;walk over
your grave yet." .
He waited twenty,' thirty, forty years,
He was a pauper, but the dead woman's
shoes were not yet ready for him.
She made preparations apparently to
live forever. Every year she bought
the costliest dresses and laces, made in
the prevailing fashion, and stored them
away in her ereat solitary chambers.
The heir, a feeble old man, died at last
in the almshouse. She lived en.
In her hundred and first year she was
prevailed upon to make her will. After
disposing of various ' properties, the
lawyer reminded her of the Bogg farms,
which she had inherited from her
father. " They are mine, she said,
quietly, and continued devising her
husband's estates. -
" That is all," she said at length, hold
ing out her hand tor the pen.
"But you have' not left the Bogg
farms to anybody." !
" Sir, they are mine forever !" cried
the dying woman.
ehe lingered' for another year, in
which her former slaves plundered her
of all her hoarded treasures, and died at
.last poorer in friends, in spirit in the
real riches of life than even her dead
pauper heir.
What . sermon on effeminacy, pride
and covetdusness could preach such a
1 il. . u
icBBuu as wese two lives i
' The Cabinet meeting ways of two fa
mous presidents are thus described in
one of the Harper's new American
novels: "Johnson used to seat the
members at table, call the roll as it were,
ana go mrough business by departments,
beginning with the Secretary of State.
Lincoln was entirely different ' Every
man took a chair where he pleased, ?The
resident walked about, discussed mat
ters in a free and easv wv. or nt. down
with one and another to private confer
ence. He did what he liked. I have
Known mm to roost his feet on the table,
teu stories to the Secretaries for two
nours, and then send them home."
All About a Brick.
A well-known, citizen relates an inci
dent somewhat fn this wise : One bright
morning in the month of' November,
some years, age, I was preparing to go
down town, when the servant informed
me that a man Was waiting at the1 front
door to see me. i j ! j.!'.t
"Tell him PU be down ,in a moment"
said I. ' ' " ' ' " ' .
On going to the ' door a man of tall
stature -and robust appearance'; calling
me by name, requested assistance, say
ins: that he had a Were family, a Wife in
delicate health, and ho means to procure
food, lor them.. ..'or,- rtti? ,-. t
You appear to be strong and healthy;
why don't you work?" asked L 1 ' ' "
li'Voimply.alf, for the reason that I can-4
not procure work."
Not having any work to give him, I
thought I would test the sincerity of his
intentions. ? , ,. -' . :t -. i
If I give you work, what pay do you
want?" ' ' i
" Anything, sir, you choose to give me,
so long as Lean obtain means for my suf-
farinfr famllir '
" Very well," said I, "I will give you
twenty-live cents an hour -if you will
carry a brick on your arm around the
block for five hours without stopping.
Thank you, sir; I will do it"
After hunting awhile I found a brick,
placed it on the man's arm, started him
ou his walk,-and then' went down town
to my business. ... fit--. Wi.
. Not having the least faith in the man's
promise, thought but little more of it
yet as I knew I should be back within
five hours, I determined to see if he per
formed his work. . My business kept me
away rather later than I expected, sol
had to forego my usual Walk home, and
took r a Fourth-avenue car, to', be back
within the five hours. , , r,
"'As" I approached the comer of the
street' where L reside I found a great
crowd of ., persons . feathered, two fire-
engines, a hose-cart and a hook-and-lad-der
truck. iVJpeii inquiring where the
fire was, I was informed that it was a
false alarm, and that what brought the
people together and occasioned "the agi
tation: was the spectacle of & tall1 man
carrying a brick on his arm around the
block for nearly five hours.' ,The neigh
bors were looking at him from the win
dows and doors as he passed along ; some
thought he was crazy, but when spoken
to his answer was, '"'.- " -
" Don't stop me it's all right" -- -
As he interfered with no one, he was
allowed to walk on undisturbed. .
- " Where is the man?" I asked. ' '
, " There, you can see him at the other
end of the block, walking with his head
down," was the answer. ' , ' 1
' tie was jUBt about turning the corner,
and I waited .till he had performed the
circuit, then, taking him by the arm, I
marched him to my house, followed by 'a
lot of boys. ! In the meantime the fire
men, engines and hose-cart rattled off.
The man was thoroughly tired out when
I took him into my hall and seated him
op a chair, and my servant went for a
little wine nnd gomrttrmrr tr rnt Tirnirl
him a dollar -and a half. - He informed
me that, while making one of his turns,
a lady came out of a house and inquired
why he was carrying that brick, and on
eivincr her the reasons he received a dol
lar. The object soon became known, for
as he passed the houses small sums were
given i. to: him , by - different . persons,
and he was well satisfied with his day's
work.
" But" said he, "what shall I do to-
morrowr , '. -- . 'j : ,t. .. :
" Why." I replied. " iro early .in the
morning to the houses from: which you
received the money and ask for work,
and no doubt you will find some one who
will put you in the. way ot getting it;
then report to me." ' 1 ' -
. The following afternoon he informed
me that he had been sent to a German,
who kept a pork establishment in Third-
avenue, ana who wanted a cierx to xeep
his books. - He was to get five dollars a
week if his work proved satisfactory,
add his duties began on the following
day J Before leaving me he asked for the
brick which, he had brought him such
good luck, and I gave it to him. Within
the year I ascertained that the man had
been transferred to a larger establish
ment of the same kind with a salary of
one thousand dollars. . : - '
Three or four years after this I was
riding in ' a street car, when a well-
dressed man accosted me with a smile,
and asked me if I knew him. Seeing me
hesitate, he said,
" Do you recollect the man who once
Carried the brick?" .U . . -.
He then informed me that he was do
ing a prosperous business on his own
account,-iad laid up money, aud' ex
pected to build himself a house up
town. . .
" What became of the brick?" I inquired.;-
. ' , : ; '
. " That brick, Bir, has always occupied
a place on our mantelpiece, and we
value it as the most precious of our
little possessions.- It has made our for-
tune.'
The Austrian Emperior and His Love
Story.
The Emperor Francis Joseph, of Aus
tria, is indefatigable in his application
to business. He retires to rest at the
hour when life is beginning in Vienna,
and at five o'clock in winter, as m summer,
the Emperor, active, laborious and
watchful, is always on foot again. He
breakfasts on a cup of coffee placed on
his desk, smokes one of the ordinary
Viennese cigars while reading volumin
ous dispatches, and remains hard at
work until the early family dinner.
Enthusiastic sportsman as he is, and
devoted to mountain scenery, no wonder
he is delighted to hurry away to his
favorite hunting grounds in the hills of
the Saltzkammergat ' He leaves Vienna
in the evening, like an honest merchant
who has finished his business ; he crosses
the Traunsee in the night, and arrives
.1 n . .-rt .l.lnnl. ,n I. rt mn.n i Tin-
av i,ui an ui o v uuvs w ton? uiuiiuui
There he is to be seen in his blouse.
wifh his great walking stick, roaming
about in the most enchanting district of
all his picturesque domains, or chatting
familiarly with the peasants or their
children. He is - very happy - in his
marriage. His first, meeting with his
future Empress was romantic. . One of
her sisters had been destined for the Im
perial Throne, and when Francis Joseph
in his hunting-dressarrived one even-
me at his iather-in-law s residence on
the Traunsee, he was received by four
young ladies of the family, who have
all since then made excellent marriages,
As he was chatting with the group,: he
saw an apparition of beauty, with mag
nificent hair floating over the shoulders,
illuminated in the. fall glow of the sun
set, approaching them from a, neighbor
ing wood. It was the Princess Eliza-'
beth,' the fifth of -the nisters, and the
Emperor from that moment became her
slave.
Miss Kellogg says that men are fit
only to be squeezed, uueni otopi
That is, ouch I Aew York Herald.
Some Munchausen Stories.
, , Scribner for June contains a paper en
titled ''Lying as a Fine Art; and the
Claims of the Eevi Samuel Peters as an
Artist,", by W. L. Kingsley, editor of the
New Englander.' According to Mr. Kings
ley, Peter's M History of Connecticut,"
published in 1781, is In a great measure
the source of the famous libels on Con
necticut in the matter of the Blue Laws.
How worthy this author is of belief may
be inferred from the following stories
told in the History as. sober truth : '
' One night in July,' 1758, the frogs of
ah artificial pond three miles square and
about five from-Windham, finding the.
water dried up, left the place in a body.
And marched or' rather hopped to-
ward Winnomantic Jtiver; .Ihey were
under the necessity of takine the road
and ' going ' through- " the town, ' which
they entered about midnight The bull
frogs were the. leaders, and the pipers
followed without number. They filled
the i road ' forty 1 yards - wide for four
miles, in Jeneth, ad were.. for several
hours in passing through the town, unu
sually clamorous. The inhabitants were
equally perplexed and frightened ; some
expected to find an army of French and
Indians,, and others . feared, an earth
quake and dissolution ' of nature! ' The
consternation was universal. Old and
young, male and female, fled naked from
their beds with worse shriekings than
those of the frogs. ' The event was fatal
to several women. The men,' after a
flight of half a mile, in which they met
with many broken shins, finding no ene
mies in pursuit of ' them; made a halt
and summoned resolution , enough . to
venture back ' to their wives and chil
dren, when they distinctly heard from
the enemy's camp these words: r Wight,
Hilderkin. Dyer. Tete." , This last they
thought meant treaty; and, plucking up
courage, they sent a triumvirate to capi-
.... 1 1 J 1 1 TI , 1
viuaief wiui uie supppsea c rencn ana
Indians. These three men approached
in their shirts, and begged to speak with
the generaii?jrat jt beingiAwsi aud uo
answer giTen, they were eorely. agitated
for some time betwixt hope and fear; at
lehgth; however, they discovered that
the dreaded inimical army was ail army
of thirsty frogs, going to the river for
littlewater. ...... i.
These Btories are . thrown into the
shade by the famous account of Bellows
Falls, in the 'Connecticut Biver:
Two-hundred miles from Lonr Island
Sound is a narrow of five yards only,
formed by. two shelving mountains of
solid' Tock, whose tops intercept the
clouds. - Through this chasm are com
pelled to pass all the waters' which, in
the time of the floods, bury the north
ern country." At the upper cohos the
river spreads' twenty-four miles wide,
and ior nvq or six weets ships- of war
might sail over lands that afterward
produce the greatest crops of hay and
grain in all America.. . People who can
bear the sight,, the groans, the. tremb
lings and surly motion of water, trees
and ice, through this, awful passage,
view with' astonishment one of the
-rreeiteiTt phenomena in . nature. Here
watetja consolidated, .without frost,- by
pressure, by swittness, between the
pinching, sturdy rocks to such a decree
of induration that an iron crow cannot
be forced into it Here iron, lead and
cork have one common ' weight ; and
here, "steady as time and harder than
marble, tne stream passes, irresistible,
if not swift as lightning.' The electric
fire rends trees in pieces with no greater
ease than dees' this mighty water. ; The
passage is about four hundred yards in
length, and of a zigzag .form, with ob
tuse corners.' . . . -
Science Popularized for the People.
In whaling, ; oil is generally struck
while floating on the water. '- Anoutward
aDDlication of tar and feathers over; the
whole body -iaffectualin keeping off
musquitoes. during tne Winter., Uoid
coin has been beaten so thin in the United
States that it has not been visible for the
last fifteen yearsv Some of the fixed
stars are at such immense distances from
the earth that a man. could not, with, a
two-foot rule, measure the immeasurable
distance in a whole year. , It is now dis
covered that the Peter Prussiate of potash
when triturated with the Diocleledon of
tne bromide oi potassia, will unite in tne
form a symposium of pizerinctum. The
ephimeris of the five inner satellites of
Saturn has been calculated for the ensu
ing year.' It should be framed and hung
up- in every coaHcellar. If , the. earth
should be suddenly stopped in its orbit,
a denee of heat would be evolved which
would furnish motive power foe twenty-
uve nunorea locomotives going ai. me
rate of two miles a minute, for four
thousand years. The bones of a Nastur-
tion were recently found in Urgo, France.
The stomachic cavity was full of melted
ice, a proof that it lived before the glacial
period.. Professor, Squigly announces
that the Pharaohs built the 'Pyramids to
make three corners in building materials.
.Gunpowder may be kept non-explosive
by keeping it away from the fire. Pro
fessor Tynderall has been making some
interesting experiments on sound. : He
finds that the phrase,- " Will you take
something to drink V' uttered in a West
ern bar-room, will be heard all over the
ouilding a third quicker - than -any
qtner combination ot inglisb words.
A Scene in the White House.
[Washington Star,]
A wiry little weman, about forty years
old, aod with snaky curls, down her back,
stepped up to the President's doorkeeper
a few days ago and solemnly announced
that she was the Qoddessof Liberty, and
that she had " descended from the dome
of the capital on purpose to see the
President." The doorkeeper, somewhat
surprised, snowed ner to tne ante-room,
and asked her to remain there awhile.' He
shortly afterward led a party of ladies
in to SCO the President who merely
wuhed to pay their respects to him. Un
seen by him the . Goddess of Liberty
slipped in with the party. . Inside she
created somewhat of a scene bv rushing
up to the President, repeating her asser
tion tnat sue was tne uouoess oi liberty
just stepped down from the dome, and
demanded the pardon of her son, who,
she said, was now in the New Jersey
penitentiary. . The President, equal, to
the occasion, maneuvered her out into
the hall again. She planted herself by the
doorkeeper and refused to move until
she had received the pardon of her son.
The doorkeeper. after considerable
trouble,,, got rid, of her by saving that
the Attorney-General had all the papers
in her son's case at the Capitol, and she
had better go up there immediately, as
he would soon lock up his office for the
day. Hearing this she decamped, walk
ing ' briskly in' the direction of the
CapitoL,-: , .
" Bill, how did you and Tom end wat
dispute Sunday!" , Why, J called him
a liar and dropped the subject"
" Called him a liar? Did he take itP'
"Take it T Of course he took it 1 But
I dropped simultaneously with the sub
ject" .,
[Washington Star,] RATES OF ADVERTISING:
t m.
1 Inch...,
csrn
saw
US no
15 0
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MM
soot
ISH8'
4M;
1 SIT
tou
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TfJ-oii
113. m
1 1 inchk,-,
4 ao
1440!
17
34 011
Meal.
4 0U
7(0
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loan
SflO U 00
wool
30 Ml
eol..
13 a) m oo
40 )
1 (jijuin
0Ms-lM7-SU
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w A. V wa
Business eards of flrs Unas or Itaa, is par annum.
Local noUoas 10 cents par Una aacn insertion.
' Simple announsmants ef saarriagca and deaths,
and church and beoeTolent society notices invvtra
rrsev Any additions to otdtaarr -aoMeeti.-wUI be
eaarged ST cents per Una, , .,; ft ,- 1
Farors most be banded U si tuff tr Tttesdiy
Morning iff rm ore iseerteon the easier Taals
Communications apon lahjacu of (eneral or local
Interest areaolieitedr -U s .' .- ,...;;
Spaca.
A TRIO.
BY GEORGE LUNT.
j:,' M r'-t ';i:j:7 v-tt-in'-rll v
A whip-poor-will sat by the edge ot the wood,
. Perched on a log in his wonted mood,-' '
And ewsr he chanted lis plaintive strain
"rWbip-poor-will " orer and orer again. .
Under the log waa a cricket's nest T 1 ,.
Who chlrruDed awar at his rer beef!
,1 hesi hy, sshssi Isi aiai liliss Is
A. bloated buU-frog had his haunt.
. 'i 'i--. - ...--; ii ii
Just as the shadows erf eeenfng fell,
- nd the breew to the lee-ie a toft lwell,
Chorused in song with the whip-poor-will '
- Weregutteral DuU-irogs4dcrihetshrilV( J 5 '
Fooll fool!" growleoMr old bull-frog, ;
1 eittmk there on Tour kellejr kK, t ,t tr.'T '
HakiDg night hideous with your cry,
i !v' While I charm all the passers-byl' ..LU'O 'sr.
" Cheer up, cheer up," sang the cricket emaD, : '
" Yon break my bjeitjwitajour strange sad call;
I shrinkjnyseli from the slightest oucb,-p
v And why should yon want whipping so nrachr
.Ti'1) :-ifi. '--ttf l it; Tf.i.1
" Whip-poor-will," cried the lonely bird,. " -But
flew as the leaves by the air were stirred t
And soon he repestadhisaiouTnfullay, - '
Softened by distance, Jar away. . .
if ,,; - -a.,'i..'; ii tl .'1 1. , y
- SomeUmea, fn moods when the ckct'stheer
And the bull-frog's mutter offend my ear,
Far to the depths of the forest stiif -..n--'-I,
would fly. like the whip-poor-will. '
Harper's Magarine for June.
EVERYDAY SPICERIES.
The Norrislown 'f&rald insists t that
no man likes to hold a girl baby fn his
arms until she is seventeen years'old.'-
The swan's down; which ladies sigh
for is plucked from-wild geese. Detroit -Fret'
Freu. -s It . isn't i tviair-Chicago
Tmtti '-..I'lrfijij' .fjtij.t-.rViwVT .
It has' iust been discovered that the
quality of humor is not strained." This
will account Jor its too frequent cqarse
nesa. .SerjKftru Timet. A x 1
I'THfe" matt who -dreamt- he1 dwlt?in
marble-halls woke Up to- find that the
clothes had been pulled off from him by
l: n t. . ar - ' - l , -
nut wiie. jsutivutt jyewt.
MS sot himuowa upon the fAfcps
that had been newly painted and when
he riz to travel home that tral bf his
she famtedf3fwrwrf ExchangeijiKM
To the American boy there' id kit aw
ful, a majestic -rtiftwence in the weight
between the- butt end : of fisbVpole
and a hoe h'andle.-iSVracuse .Sunday
Times, ' ' ,
A SiX-TOir stone dropped from the top
of the State Capitol in Lansing; Mich.,
one day this wook; oad- didn't make a
bit of noise: or ? distur bance--emtu it
steuck.-r-jCAtcajfo Journal., ,?) ") '
The editor of the Elmira, Gazette is
not selfish.' ' He '" remarks with treat
unction, "There's a land. .that is1 fairer
than this," - qurton it be were going
there umiL-Buffalo ExpretD r!ii
The bitterness of poverty is beginoiag
to be felt in tne .country as it never was
before.-' A' mafr actukily' confessed' in
market the other morning thaHie -was
about to buy another dog. Breahfatt
Table. , ,, a j,; t r aw ' i-j ii noR ' '
Tb dog-bug hnwls on the hillside hlghj ,. ;
The sunflower soars in the stalwart sky,
iDsown Dwswoma oeneaut uieapray; -. ' -
- And the haael-nttt sinffs on its wavy wayj'
" Oh, never be cheery, or gloomy, or dry," ,
the mutton-chop shrieks in the poUywog's eye. .
" li: fif ,
Elizabeth Aixeit, in a poem, asks,,
"Oh, willow, t why . .forever. . weepT"
Elizabeth is a little mistaken as to the
facts.1 -It 'isn't the willow that weeps;
it is the boy who dances under the limber
end of it BurlingtonHawleye, vjp
FAB80IT JNA8BT, it is said, left the
New York Evening 'Maxf because ne
couldn't get nTs salary. He. shomldn't
have been so mighty particulars ne
proprietors ( of -the paper twuldn't fjet
theirs, either. Buffalo Efprest.
' CxIaxxotte CrjrmiiAir left her fortune
16 her -nephew.' Some young men' in
such a case might bare proved ungrate
ful and sooi-fwgttatt their- benefac
tress.: ;, He, however,-hf 'erected an
eleven-dollar monument to her memory.
ImdmOnt.)Advertiier.'"'' " '
-Whbit little- Thomaa-BixMH6''loy
With berries, jam and jelly cake, iio art
can-soothe the chastened- boy no roos-
trums' ease ' his Stomach-sche: .. And, If
the griping pains dtfy -the medicines
prescribed to-foir,jwg parents will do .
well to try" the hmpidUqujd . jcastor
wLt St Louit Journal i . , , ,
" " What river is Tenice duf' Janet.
Venison is not a river, miss; it's con- -fection,
and one which,- having once
sampled, will haunch you with, a per- ,
Jetual desire for more. Yonleri Gazette,
anet, dear, do not believe the- young
buck; he is making game of your ques- .
tion. Boston Commercial Bulletin. '
, . The ablest minds claim that there is
no such thing as absolute originality
possible. Nothing,"' the argue, has ever
been produced ; that : did not resemble
something in the earth , or visible
heavens;' The new spring hat" is "the
nearest approach-to an exception yet dls
cevered. -Breakfatt Table. vi,, ,-j..:f!
P. T. Baehuh is said to, have re
membered one hundred and twenty-four
editors in hiS1wHlB WBM like our giraffe
now, before Barnum dies. Free Fret.
We don't expect to get anything more
than the gnus, but we're not proud.-!-.
New York Commercial. Any man who
would spell noose " g-n-u-s," ought to be
hanged, and he'll get it, too. , Jertey City
Journal. , ,( , . . ' .. .
A mah living in One of our. sub
burban. villages unites the occupa
tions of phyBwian,-pethecary, preacher .
and undertaker. , It is needless msay
that he is always busy. . If business be
comes slack he can make more by send
ing his patient to his drug store, giving
him drugs warranted to cure or kill,
that generally do the latter, then preach
the funeral eulogy, and carry his corpse
to the grave. i2ocA(cr, 7mr,. i., -i'v-India
rubber tires on. the wheels of
carriages are becoming' quite common
in England. One of these vehicles,-silently
gliding along on a moonlight
night, has a very weird effect, and if the
horse had India rubber, shoes as well, the
whole affair would be horribly, ghost
like. "People who do not hear remarka
bly well ought' also to be ' encased in
India rubber, to diminish the effect of
being run over. Hartford Courier. ,
As American ' who recently visited
the studio of MeisBonier accidentally .
sat down upon the artist1) palette, which
was-covered with paint, .which hadiieen
carelessly left upon a chair. , The great
painter' was profuse in apologies, out
the . American is said to have utilised
the circumstance by having, the seat of
his pantaloons framed, and offers, it as '
' Meissonier's last' work.1 price only
twenty thousand, dollars." Comanercial
Hb Was in entire stranger to the
girls" present,' and the boys -were mean
and would not introduce: fiirnv He
finally plucked .up courage, and step
ping up to' 4 young lady requested the
Sleasuxe :oN her -company frr?hext
ance. She looked, at-him in surpriae,
and informed him she had not the
pleasure of his acquaintance. " Well,"
remarked Cazenovia, "you don't take
any more chances than I do." Exchange.