Newspaper Page Text
ATTooiamnnlrntlont for lh!i ptper thonld biuvm
rnlM hj the of the author; not net rj.rilj fo
nllot(in, hut m sn evidence of fm6 flth on tli
iu wnirr, nriieoniyon one me or the pa
per, Ii nrtlcnlrly careful in slrinir nmiftDd(lBtei
lo hveihelrttrr and figure plain nd dlitlnrt. I'row
T nimn are often dl fflcult to declndrr, icum Of UK
rnM muwu la vJUch Umv &r writUu.
MAN'S REMOTE ANCESTOR.
PATHETIC TRIBUTE TO THAT "SCANTY SORT OF
WATER-BEAST." THE ASCIDIAN.
Tnr Ancestor remote of mnn,
Purs w n, is th' tuiHdhin,
A tmnty sort of witor-bent
That, Mi,i0.i,iM) years at Umtt
llefore jrnrlllas ciime to bp.
Went swimming up ami down the sea.
Their anchor the pious praise
And like to Imitate their wav;
ITow, thi n, does our first parent Uva,
What lesson ban his life to ffivo?
Th a.rfHan tadpole, Touna- ond (ray,
Tntb life with one bright eye survey:
11(8 con sell mniHS bus eay llav.
Hp's sensitive to jrrlef ami' pain,
lias tnl! un! spine, and bears a brain.
And ev. rytblnir thut tits the state
Of creatures wet-nil vertebrtite.
lint airp eomo on; with Midden shock
lie stii-ks hiH head Hiftilnst a nn kl
Hi tail drop off, his eye drops in,
His bruin's itlwnrbed Into his skin;
Hodnen not move, nor feel, nor know
The tldul wafer's ebh and How.
Hut still abide, uintiired, alone,
A sucker stick iiiR to a stone.
And wo, his children, trulr we
In youth aro, like tho tadpole, free;
And where we would we blithely gn.
Have bruins and hearts, ami feel and know.
Then are conies on. To hubit we
Ailix ourselves, and aro not free;
Th' aaeldian's rooted to a roek,
And we aro bond-duvet of the clock;
Our rock is medicine letters law,
rom these our heads we cannot draw:
Our loves drop on", our hearts drop in,
And daily thicker irrows our skin.
Wo scarcely llvt?, we scarcely know
The wide world's movlnir ebb and flow,
The clanirinjr currents ritifr and shock,
J(ut we an rooted to thn roek.
And thus at endfnir of his span,
lillnd, deaf and Indolent, docs man
Kovcrt to the adcidinn.
St. James' Oatette,
A LITERARY REMINISCENCE.
I was gradunted from oollego withr
out honors; anil then, to tho horror of
niv bachelor uncle tho only relative
who had the right to express an opin
ion I avowed my determination to
many Avico Clyde, a very youthful,
"Marry!" snorted Uncle Phil, laying
down his cherished meerschaum in sur
prise. "Is tho boy crazy P And how
do you intend to support yourself ? if I
may ask. Just at the tinie when you
ought to come and tell me your choice
of a profession you walk in and say,
' Uncle, I am going to marry!' Twad
dle!" I regret to any that he also used a
strong expression not usually heard in
polite society. My composure was un
shaken. " Professions will wait," I said, cool
ly. ''It's just as easy to makeup one's
mind after marriage as before; and the
fact is, I've made a choice of litera
ture." He surveyed me from head to foot
with a stare of utter disgust.
" And would you be good enough to
toll mo what you intond to live on while
you aro waiting for your valuable works
to be published? or are they already in
press? Perhaps you contemplate writ
ing nn encyclopaedia!"
I bore up under the latter irony with
"I shall live, sir, with your permis
sion, on the money left from defraying
the expenses of my education," I said,
with studied politeness. "That is if I
need anything beyond what my own ex
ertions will bring me."
" Seven hundred dollars," ho said,
coolly, lighting his meerschaum again,
and paying more careful attention to
that process than to me. " Enough to
last you, in your love's paradise, about
six months, at starvation ratos."
, I was somewhat startled, but my
equanimity did not give way.
"Then I have your permission to
call upon you for the sum when I need
itP Good morning, sir."
Aviee and I were married the same
month, and began housekeeping in
three rooms. No one was responsible
for her actions but a portly aunt, with
three unmarried daughters, who was
ijlad to dispose of her, and, having'
made her charming in clouds of tulle
and lace, deliverod her into my charge
with a sigh of thankfulness.
We were full enough of romance to
dispense with the regulation wedding
journey, and only went to the country
for a few days, where I lay on the
grass and read poetry to her, and she
uttered rapt little prophecies in regard
to our domestic life. Avice never used
very long sentences; even sentiment
could not inspire her with the blank
verse in winch newspaper heroines in
dulge, but her little disjointed cooings
were very charming.
The next morning after we wont
bek to town, when we had gone
tl.rough our rooms for the fiftieth time
aid discussed their furnishings, Avice
put on a big apron, and said, with
bustling Importance, that she must
"no about dinner," while I settled niy
sef at my desk with a compact bundle
of clean, white paper, a box of pens,
atd some pink blotting paper. Like
niwt college graduates, I had a very
mMlest idea of my own talents, and
hud not the slightest mUigiving that I
coild earn nry Dread by my pen.
4vice came and looked over my
shoulder as 1 sat writing my name aud
linking preliminary nourishes, as a
swordsman fences and thrusts before
beginning the more serious business of
ruining his adversary through tho
t I think I shall write an epic, Avice,"
I said, drawing her down beside me
with one hand, while with the other I
made a lion rampant on paper. ' You
see we need something original about
tlie fall of Troy a modern idea of it.
We have been" content with Homer so
long that nobody seems to dream of
giving tho subject a now treatment."
"Shall you write it in Latin?" asked
Avice, her eyes and tone full of awe for
my superior wisdom.
"Oh. no, I think not," I said, with
easy indifference. " There ought to bo
a certain patriotism In clinging to one's
own tongue. One ought never to be
so much of a cosmopolite as to forsake
" No, I should think not. Now, about
dinner but no, I wont trouble you.
I've read enough of celebrated men's
wives bothering them about the steak
and muflins never to disturb you in that
So she fluttered away to her dinner,
and I began to write my prologuo and
invocation to the muso, with a certain
feeling that I ought to be hand in glove
with Shakespeare and Milton, when my
wife classed me with celebrities.
The first twenty lines wrote thom
solves. Similies, allusions aud classical
quotations flooded my mind as birds II
in Hocks. The room was neoolod will
helmeted Trojans and warlike Greeks,
nymphs and muses, until I began to
feel quite patronizing toward dead Ho
mer. It was not so hard to write an
epic after all! Dinner time came, and
with-it Avice with flushed cheeks and a
1 will say here that we had no serv
ant save a small maid clad in a costume
composed of manv cast-off garments.
who came in to wash dishes and do tho
odds and ends of work. Avice and I
had our theories. We talked, in tho
days of eou. ship, of simplicity of life
ministering to our own needs, aud all
me nice nonsense indulged in by do
How shall I describe that dinner?
Spiced with devotion and flavored by
love, but burned to a crisp. The pota
toes were sodden as if they had enjoyed
a ioriy uays' deluge, out in a dainty
china dish, decorated with rosebuds of
her own uamtiner.
Tho steak, leather-like and Indigesti
ble, nnd recalling unpleasantly talcs of
shipwrecked mariners chewing their
boots but, O fond thought! prepared
d- inose piunip nngers, 1 ate it without
A year, a month oven, of married
life might have deadened my chivalry to
the point of complaint: but the honey.
moon was yet high in the heavens, arid
I fed on nectar and ambrosia and, was
content, lhe days went on in one un
I wrote on my epic, had gnstronomio
consultations with Avice, and drew my
little Pflnif'il frnni 1'nnlttPhil KiiriilnpU.
Ho paid without comment, aud ignor
ing tne existence of my wife, refused
to cau. And still the epic wont on,
I found to my surprise, when 1 had
mushed a glowing description of Helen
that she was a second Avico a heroine
with peach-blossom cheeks aud a re
But how, I reflected, could I heln it.
when I saw that charming vision before
mo day after day, though oftenest decked
in the rattled apron, and sometimes with
the accompaniment of a gridiron or
' "Now read mo a canto. Harrv." she
said one night, seatinsr herself bv the
window, and putting on an air ot ap
preciative interest, "Begin with the
"Too godlike Paris, rising, glnlod on hit
How sonorously I read! and how I
tried to give the roll andllowof rhythm
ic Greek to my own periods! But cli
max must ever snreest anti-climax, and
some malicious fiend is always at hand
10 iurnisn tno latter.
I was in the midst of a prayer to the
gods when our small female Boots ap
peared ami tendered mo a letter, with
her usual air of chucking: it at me.
I opened it indifferently a butcher's
bill for fifteen dollars.
Trov and its defenders vanished; the
household gods alone rose before me,
and tho very expensive sacrifice we had
Avico, this can't be rieht! fifteen
dollars in three weeks! Why, we must
be gormandizors, or or camivora
(1 stumbled about helplessly for the
right word) to have eaten meat at such
a rato. It is wrong; bring out your ac
counts and let's compare them.''
"I'm sorry, Harry," stammered
Avice, "but I haven t kopt any ac
counts. I didn't think of it."
"You didn't keep accounts, and
haven't an idea how muoh you've or
dered of any one! Why, tradesmen
can fleece you at thoir morcy!"
I said no more. The pretty lips were
quivering and a tear fell from the eyes
which, 1 had declared, rivaled Helen's.
1 was silenced, begged pardon like a
man, paid the bill and mado arrange
ments to go out to our meals.
To jump at onco at conclusions, the
epio was in due time completed, and
having dispatched it to a publisher's,
rested care-free from my labors, wait
ing with the assurance of a fool or a
genius to make tormswith the printers.
They would be only too glad to have
the work at any oost, aud Avice begged
me again and again to be firm and set
my own price.
How ninny air castles we built In that
fond, foolish time, wondering what we
should do with all the money, and map
ping out our future gloriously.
Two weeks and the manuscript
camo back with merely a polite note of
refusal, and, as Avice said, bitterly, "a
printed one at that." We were like two
children over the disappointment sur
prised, grfevod, angrv; and then her
courage aud my conceit rose In arms to
the rescue, and we bade each other
" Where did I rend, only tho other
day, tnat great men are never appre
ciated by their own ago?" she cried.
Wasn't it Goldsmith who was always
in debt and want, and but 1 don't
remember the rest. And nowT dare
sare say they're in Westminster Abbey."
little comfort to mo," said
lister Abbey can t be a re-
mi nmir iieuuny place U) sleep in
even if an American could crawl in;
and you see I'm not working at pres
ent for a place in whic h to lay my
bones. But on to the field of glory and
We tried seven, and all those mis
guided men refused my verse. The
seventh had the goodness to tell me
" Bless you, I get acres of such man
uscript every year. I dare say thore
may have been a demand for it once,
but you might as well present Choctaw
or 'Mother Goose' to the popular mind
now. Pope overdid all these gilded
metaphors and sounding phrases, and
people want no more of them.
I carried the book home in bitterness
of heart, but not humility of soul, and
threw it in Avice's lap.
"Take it for curl papers, if vou wont,"
I cried; it will nevor bo used for any
"I shall keep it," said the small wom
an, loyal to her faith ill her lord, "and
some day when you're famous they'll bo
glad to print it."
But I may as well confess the time
has never come.
What was to be done? Our money
rattled as we went lower in tho cotter,
aud success was as far away as in tho
Avice exercised her brain diligently
on the problem and came to me with
"I've been thinking," she said, con
fidentially, " what people are most in
terested "in, and I believe they want
(Did you ever think how promis
cuously a woman applies tho term
" There is a column in everv paper
about telephones and all sorts of inven
tions, and I should think you could say
I snatched at the idea, and believe I
did say something remarkable indeed.
What the subject of the essay was I
cannot remember, but it was as" practi
cal as utilizing whale oil in greasing the
North Pole, or making jelly from gun
powder. It started on its travels from one
magazine to auother, and alter Invaria
bly returning like a Very faithful dove,
was consigned to oblivion and tho top
shelf of the closet.
About that time I met Uncle Phil.
who viewed my worn suit and gener
ally discouraged appearance with a
nonchalant air, and showing more in
terest than usual in my fortunes, said.
"tieii, wnai success.' Got as tar as
'Y' in tho encyclopedia yet?" I am
sure my answer had in it much offended
dignity, but the remark was sutlieient
to sond me home with a resolve to do or
die in a literary line.
I wrote steadily for weeks stories,
moral essays and, I am ashamed to con
fess it, rhymes; but glory did not await
me, or u it aid it was at such a distance
that I nover succeeded in grasping it.
And meanwhile my Avico was work
ing her faith in me up to a glorious
point of enthusiasm, in tho unreason
able way of women. Her latest idea
I should hesitate to confess myself in
debted to my wife for ideas were it not
that they usually proved impracticable
was that I should write a novel. She
Einned me to the subject when I had
egun to distrust my own powers and
would fain have escaped.
"Now, Harry, let's plan the next
scene," she would rouse me from my
sleep to say.
"Rudolph is on his way to the cave,
whore the waj-es are every minute com
ing nearer Evelyn's feet, and she will
surely bo drowned unless he hnsteus.
Now do you think we'd better let him
Eropose to her tliere, or wait till they've
ad more adventures?"
Our ideas conflicted a little, because
her novel-writing propensities were in
the Mrs. Radclilte lino, while I liked to
sandwich my conversations with long
philosophical dissertations, and hair
breadth 'scapes I could not abide.
But the novel slowly wrote itself out
in our minds.
We ao-reed that Rudolph's eves should
be as black as night, and Evelyn's a
deep gray; and that the villain should
be the stepfather of tho former, inter
estingly lame aud deformed, somewhat
after the manner of Richard III.
But as we consulted, and I borrowed
money to live on, an old anecdote, in
which my father, who was a story-teller,
used to delight, kept itself prominently
in the foreground of .my consciousness.
An illiterate man, navinar been under
conviction oi sin ana experienced re
ligion in tho most approved way, felt
himself called to preach, whereupon
the clergy of the same denomination,
ashamed to number him among them,
remonstrated with him.
Brethren,". said he "it is written.
'Go forth and preach the gospel to
Yes," returned a brother, "but it
does not say that every oritter shall
preach the gospel."
1 felt doubtful as to whether It would
not be better to be a coal-heaver who
knew his business than a literary pre
tender. "Avioe," said I, "I can't write the
novel. It will be nonsense, aud such
nonsense as the publishers see every
day of their lives."
The small wife was not to be dis
Well leave it, and perhaps some
time you can nnish it; out I wish
would do something for me.
Don' t you
remember you used to tell me stories of
your Aunt Betsey and tho odd things
she samr mow, Harry, write them
down, and put in all the queer spelling
and old-fashioned words, and I know
it will sell."
I did it, with much.disgust at the
work and myself for doing it. I don't
mind saying" now that the expression
I mm a libel on the English language, the
j framework machine-made, and what
was intended for pathos extremely
I sent it to a publisher, tomy complete
surprise i-eaeired an acceptance, and
within the shortest time possible nw
the book in print.
"I knew they'd take it," said Avice,
calmly triumphant, when I told her the
I look at her solemnly before daring
to confess the truth, and then said, in
"But, my dear, do you know it was
"Of course." she said, coolly, in a
matter-of-fact tone. "I knew that all
tlie time; and, Harry, I thought that
was all you could write!"
We both felt, after that confession,
that there was a thorough understand
ing between us, and I have never doubt
ed my wife's judgment since.
The book not only sold, but was pop
ular, and I had the satisfaction of hear
ing myself praised for a work of which
I was ashamed. Again I met Uncle
Phil. " Well, boy," said ho, taking his
pipe nut, and regarding me with a look
of amused satisfaction, "so you did
have some brains, after all; that is,
brains enough to get yourself between
two blue covers.' "
" Uncle Phil," said I. confidentially.
"you know as well as I that the book
would only do credit to an ass. Why
uiu ii succeed."
"tor several reasons. One, that the
public is a fool, and moreover an unre
liable fool. It will laud a book to the
skies if the wind blows east, and snifl
contemptuously if it happen to be in an
other quarter. Besides, vour little vol
ume was a comfortable size to be car
ried on a journey, and people read it on
thn trl U ..' .1 i
"On the contrary, I know Tm a
fool." 6.iid I, with much humility and
frankness. "Will you take me into
business nnd let me devote myself to
He did, and I have since paid my
debts and laid by money enough to keep
us in umbrellas through several rainy
days, but glory is still in the dim dis
tance. JSuston Transcript.
The Saddle Horse.
Itf ordor to mako a good, riding
horse after he has been carefully
gentled and his mouth brought to feel
the bit properly, nnd through that anc
the reins, the rider's hands, he requires
to be ridden by a good horseman who
is at home on a horse's back and who
has a tine sense of touch, for on this
depends tho tine senses of feeling in
the horse's mouth. Hence it is often
said of rough riders and of many com
mon ridors in England, "He can sit on
a horse very well but he has no hands.
In England, no gentleman would ride
any norse wnicn was used at all In har
ness; therefore, beautiful youne horses
in thq United States should be used ex
clusively as saddle horses, and if such
animals ace not raised for exportation,
the Americans of the next generation
will have found the dinerence between
a genuine nag and one having boeu
spoiled by leaning against a collar.
in the southern states there are a
great many horses used exclusively un
der the saddle, but it is t reuch or Span
ish riding and not the English. The
saddles are not like those of England.
mere are but tour paces In which a
horse is allowed to go among good rid.
era the walk, which is generally five
and a half miles an hour; the trot,
which is from eight to twelve miles
au hour, according to the in
clination of the rider; tho canter,
which is as slow as the animal can be
brought to gallop by some called a
hand gallon, but m England, or at least
in the Midland counties, tho pace is
termed "canter," aud for a lady's nag
or palfrey it is always required that the
animals must be trained to canter with
the right leg first; in fact it is custom
ary to teach most of tho nags to can
ter or gallop with the right leg first.
Tho fourth pace in England is the gal
lop, which means at any rate from a
brisk gallop twenty miles an hour to
the greatest rate of speed. In the
Southern States here the horses are
used to what is called 'pace.1 Tack.'
which is not done in England, except
ing that many old farmers accustom the
nags thoy ride to weekly market to
move at a ' jog trot,' which is called a
'shog,' but although this makes a tifth
pace, yet it is not countenanced by
good riders, and any horse havTug been
indulged in this way of going is not so
desirable. It may thus bo aaid that
there are four legitimate paces the
walk, trot, canter and gallop.
Karmers in the United States who
wish to breed and bring out good sad
dle horses, should ride daily, or have
sons who can constantly ride. Boys,
when quite children, are allowed to ride
ponies, and thus they become so accus
tomed to riding and guiding their nags
that thoy feel as much or more in their
element in tlie saddle than boys in this
country do whou driving a horse before
a buggy. Tho French are becoming
much hotter equestrians than they were
formerly, and it is to be hoped that tlie
Americans will improve, if only for tlie
sake of making money by perfecting a
fine class of saddle horses. Exchaiuje.
Is the Pacific higher than the Atlun
tioP A dispute on this question having
arisen, the editor of the Sciinliic
American was asked to decide. One
argued that the Pacific was higher,
and that if a caual was out through
tlie Isthmus an immense current from
the Pacific to the Atlantio would re
sult. The answer given was that there
was no difference of level between the
oceans at mean tide. The tides on the
Pacilio side are about three feet; on the
Atlantic side they are five or six times
Sarah Wiknemucca will take np
her abode hereafter at Vancouver,
Washington Ter., where she will b
pensioned at fWO per annum, with
quarters and rations, for good conduct
as scont in the Bannock war.
Youni authors should not be dis
heartened in view of the facts that
Thackeray was not known as an au
thor until he was nearly forty; Scott
waj fortv-thrce when "Waverly" ap
peared; Defoe was fifty-eight before he
wrote his first novel; and other not
ables were equally tardy in gaining
Some painters while at work on the
outside of a Methodist Episcopal
Church at Bladensburg, Md., recently
discovered holes in the weather-boarding
and many bees passing in and out
Some of the boarding was removed,
and between the joists was found a
solid mas of honey twelve feet in
length, sixteen inches wide and four
A Nkw York society belle who has
a strawberry-mark on tho under side of
her arm near the shoulder, offers one
of the hospital surgeons $l,fX)Q if he
will remove it and graft the skin of a
healthy white person uKn it. She
says if she got married her husband
wouldn't like the looks of it, and then.
too, she is kept from wearing the low
necked and short-sleeved party cos
tume. Pkikce Bismarck has the true smok
er's real affection for his pipe. He had
a special pet pipe, the bowl of which
fell to nieces the other day. He showed
so much sorrow over this destruction of
his old friend that his family carefully
collected the fragments and sent them
to Berlin to be put together. The
work was skillfully executed, and the
Prince is again enjoying the silent and
soothing companionship of his favorite.
Miss Hattie E. Faiis-sworth, who
has been Postmaster at Groton, Mass.,
for thirteen years, has resigned, and
the official examiner bears this testi
niouy to her fidelity: "From experi
ence I can safely say in our a'i.fXcj post
offices we have few Postmasters who
can compare with the one at Groton.
Mass., and in her retiring from the
office the Post-office Department loses
one whose place it will be dillicult to
Initiatory steps are being taken to
establish a circle of observing stations
around tlie North Polar region, all to
be connected by telegraph. The pro
posed points for stations are at Uper
navik m West Greenland; at the mouth
of the Lena in Russia; Switzbergen,
Holland; on the new Siberian Islands;
Novaya Zenilya; Point Barrow in
Alaska; at some point on the Arctic
coast of Canada, and possibly at other
The following is from a fashion arti
cle in the Cincinnati Enquirer: " A
friend ot mine held a wad of something
in one hand, and it was not so large but
that she could close her lingers over it.
I asked her what it was. 'A new pair
of stockings,' she said. 'Stockings!'
I echoed, incredulously. She showed
them, and stockings they surely were,
but of such a gossamer texture that they
were of next to no bulk or weight at alt
They were rather bright scarFet in col
ortoo bright, I remarked. ' Oh. thev
look so now,' the younr lady said, but
they won't be when they are on. See
that,' and she stretched one over her
plump, white arm; 'the skin fairly
shows through, and makes the stocking
a very light pink.' ' So the color, when
worn, depends considerably on whether
the wearer is a blonde or a brunette.'
'That's a fact sure enough. On a ne
gro woman, I guess they would be a
reddish brown. "
The Zurcher TaqMatt sives an ac
count of the new machine-made butter
which now appears every morning in
the market at Zurich, and which before
long, as its manufacturers anticipate,
will attain a wider renown and sale.
The " Centrif ugen-Fafel-buttor" a
somewhat oddly-sounding expression
is prepared in Cham, on the Lake of
Zug, by the well-known Anglo-Swiss
Milk Comnanv. whosA tina rA rtmh.
ably, to be seen in every village in
western and central Europe. The but
ter is prepared from the early morning
milk, immediately after the milking,
by means of the American centrifugal
machine, and is at once dispatched oy
rail to the market and hotels at Zurich,
so that the freshest possible butter is in
the hands (and mouths) of the con
sumers many miles away a few hours
after the milking. As the whole work
is done by machinery, tho Cham butter
may claim a high rank, on account, of its
purity as well as its freshness.
Women as Methodist Preachers.
ards of Hamline Methodist Episcopal
Church (tho Rev. W. I. McKenuy, pas
tor) recommended Mrs. Clara Roach
for license to preach, she having been
an exhorter for some time. At a recent
meeting of the Quarterly Conference of
the Church this recommendation was
brous-ht forward, and tho Presiding El
der, the Rev. B. Peyton Brown, declined
to entertain the rocommendation on the
ground that there is no law of the
Church justifying the license of women
to preach. An appeal was ma'e by
Mrs. Roach's friends, and the question
will now go to that Bishop who may be
assigned to hold the next session of the
Baltimore Conference. Mrs. Roach
(formerly Miss Cutter) has been prom
inent in church work aud has held an
exhorter's license for about two years,
anil has been successful, especially at a
meeting sue neid some time since in
Delaware. Tho final decision of this
question is looked for with interest.
M aamngton Star.