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El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, February 08, 1910, Image 6

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Tuesday, February 8, 1910.
CtRblIshed April, 1S8L The El Paso Herald Includes al3o, by absorption and
succession. The Daily News. The Telegraph. The Telegram, The Tribune.
The Graphic. The Sun. The Advertiser. The Independent.
The Journal, The Republican. The Bulletin.
Entered at the El Paai Postofflce for Transmission at Second Class Rates.
Dedicated to the service of the people, that no good cause shall lack a cham
pion, and that evil shall not thrive unopposed.
Deilv Herald, per month, 60c: per year, $7. Weekly Herald, per year, f 2.
The Daily Herald is delivered by carriers in El Paso. East El Paso, Fort
Sllss and Towne. Texas, and Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, at 60 cents a month.
A subscriber desiring- the addres on his paper changed will please state
la bis communication both the old and the new address.
Subscribers failing" to get The Herald promptly should call at the office or
telephone No. 115 before 6:30 p. m. All complaints will receive prompt otten-
The Herald bases
all advertising
contracts on a
guarantee of more
than twice the
circulation of any
other El Paso.
Arizona, New
Mexico or west
Texas paper.
Dally average 10.
000 copies.
y i i v lyw'r'
Tee Association American
Advertisers has
the ciicul&tion d Has
report of ch exnmmniton U on file si the
New York omce ot
gum agate w uiuuouuu )juuuuccu. t
. . , -.--.. -
Prof. Moore and Conservation
WILLIS L. MOORE, chief of the weather bureau, has recently been put into
the Dr. Cook class because of his attack on the ideas of the conserva
tionists. Prof. Moore has publicly declared that the removal of forests from water
sheds does not tend to intensify floods and low waters. The conservation advo
cates disagree with him.
John H. Finney, secretary of the Appalachian National Forest association, has
issued a statement in which he says:
"Like the gentleman who recently came out of the north with tremendous
claims but without his notebook and insrtuments, Mr. Moore states his conclusions
with a- great flourish of language but withholds his records," contending that
Prof. Moore's words are disproved by the records of his own department.
Secretary Finney's statement is issued as one of the moves in the fight before
congress to create the Southern Appalachian and White mountain forest reservation.
If Prof. Moore is right, he ought to
keep out of the fight. This reclamation task is a gigantic one and an important
one, important not 'alone to the present generation but even mor so to future
generations to posterity and the movement should not be hampered by idle talk.
The country needs all the possible light it can get upon the subject, but it is a
matter too serious to be tampered with lightly and Prof. Moore should keep, out
or produce his proofs. His argument is directly contrary to that of all other scien
tists who have taken any interest in conservation matters and if he is right, he
ought to be able to produce the proofs upon which he bases his statement; if he
hasn't the proofs and is only going on theory, he ought to say so.
The proof seems pretty evident that the destruction of forests does tend to in
tensify floods; that in fact is the accepted theory and it seems but natural that
without trees to prevent the snow melting rapidly, this should be the case.
Until Prof. Moore submits his proofs, more people will stand with Mr. Finney
than with Prof. Moore, especially since the people haven't yet forgotten the
prophesy by the good professor' of fair weather for the last presidential inaugura
tion, which took place in the midst of the worst snowstorm the national capital
had experienced in years.
An exchange remarks that since. Pmchot has been canned, he is now among
the forest preserves.
: o
A steel magnate named Gayley is in maritial troubles. Probably he lived
a life in accordance with his name.
Mayor Gaynor of New York has appointed the city editor of the "World as his
private secretary and the city hall reporter of the Tribune a member of the tax
board. One comes from a Republican paper and both from anti-Tammany publi
cations. The new mayor seems to be trying to get good men about him.
The statehood bill as amended in the senate provides that the legislatures must
transact all business in English. This will do away with the official interpreters
who have always been a feature of New Mexico legislatures in the past.
Representative Fish of New York has introduced a bill to grant to former
president Roosevelt an honor given to but one other man (Gen. Grant) in history-r-
franking privilege for all his mail. Roosevelt is deserving of the honor, but the
congressman must bear in mind that postal deficit, for the former president is no
mean letter writer.
: o
Japan's Expanding Trade
THAT Japan, the little Giant of the Orient, is going to prove not only a, great
factor in the trade of the world as well as the peace of the globe, is a cer
tainty. Japan is taking advantage of every possible trade opening and is
seeking new ones and making them wherever possible throughout the world.
The Tokio foreign office is reported to have informally decided to station com
mercial commissioners in London, New York, Hongkong and Tientsin for the next
fiscal year. In view of the increasing trade between Japan and South America,
and the growing emigration of Japanese to that continent as the result of the
opening of the steamship service, the Yokohama Special Bank has sent students to
Brazil, Chile and Mexico for the study of the languages, commerce and industry,
and general affairs in those countries, preparatory to the opening of branch offices.
Japan is no longer sleeping.
The head of the army will soon be
A Democratic exchange remarks that Roosevelt policies without Roosevelt are
not dissimilar to Hamlet without the melancholy Dane.
A California writer says she is not going to get married, because all good men
are already wed. She can prove by the wives that wedded men are all good,
whether all good men are wedded or not
: o
A coroner's jury has declared solemnly that the death of 11 people at Saw
telle, near Los Angeles, was due to eating tamales instead of pears. California
couldn't afford to let the verdict stand against California fruit, so it was shifted to
the shoulders of the poor tamale man-
A California woman is to be tried for lunacy for giving away $100 checks.
That woman doesn't need a trial; she is guilty.
Consul general Richard Guenther writes from Frankfort that most of the
breweries throughout Germany report diminished sales for last year and declare
lower dividends. Statistics show that the amount of beer consumed was only
291-2 gallons per capita in 1908, against 31 gallons in 1907. What's the matter
with the German? Is he going to let the American take away his laurels?
An appropriation of $7500 United States currency has been made by. the Chi
huahua state legislature for establishing a state reform school for youthful vag
rants and criminals, who will be taught scientific agricultural methods. The
school will be situated about 17 miles from the city of Chihuahua. All countries
are awakening to the necessity of training the youth with criminal tendencies,
rather than locking him up with hardened convicts.
According to consul Paul Lang of Sherbrooke, the department of agriculture
at Ottawa reports that the total wheat crop of Canada last year was 166,744,000
bushels, averaging 21 1-2 bushels per acre, with an average market value of 84.8
cents per bushel, thus aggregating for the whole crop $141,320,000. In 1908 the
crop was 112,434,000 bushels, averaging 17 bushels per acre, with an average
market value of 81.1 cents per bushel, aggregating for the whole crop .$9 1,228,000.
BelL Auto.
Business OfCic lljj 1J"
Editorial Rooms 2020 2020
Society Reporter ..................1019 '
Advertising department ................... 116 "
Persons solicited
to subscribe for
The Herald should
beware of Impos
ters and should
not pay money to
anyone unless he
can show that he
Is legally author
ized to receive It.
cratmnfffl and conned to
pubHcarioa. The detail
the Association. Wo
Secretary. J
.......... - tjji
produce his proof; if not, he ought to
. I brA AJ d KULAkX
ETHLXKS a man is happiest when giving good advice: he always has a
stock on hand, and gladly gives a. slice. hold it good to scatter smiles,
oiwi hol'nfiil r-liPoriTKir wnTfU - such thinirs are chean. and any man can
throw them at the birds. And it is good to give advice, and counsel kind ani
wise; and admonition often wipes the teaTS from grieving eyes; but when a hungry
man comes by, some pilgrim downed by fate, cut out the
admonition graft, and pass tihe doughnut plate. There is
THE . a time for ihelpful words, for precepts learned and wise;
COUNSELLORS ' and there's a time for codfish balls and wienerwurst and
pies. There is a time to point the way to nobler, higher
things, and there's a time to kill a hen and give a tramp
the wings. There is a season to expound great truths, with wisdom fraught, and
there's a time to show your roll and loosen up a lot. "We're all so fond of giving
words! It is the common plan; but words won'-t heat a widow's stove, or fill her
coal oil can; and words won't settle doctor bills, or pay the rent that's due; so
pull some kopecks from your jeans, and loosen up a few!
Capyright, 1909. by George Matthews a
Washington, L C. Feb. 8. Ollie M.
James, of Kentucky, 'comes from that
portion of the Blue Grass region where
comfort precedes dignity.
Representative Edwin Denby comes
from Detroit, Mich., where society Is
careful of its every act. In addition
Mr. Denby had his early training in
the diplomatic set. For ten years his
father was United States minister to
China. Hence Mr. Denby was brought
up on dignity. It happens that Messrs.
Denby and James are the two heavy
weights of the Ballinger investigating
committee. It is not safe for both of
them to ride in the same elevator.
For two days Mr. James struggled to
get his great bulk within the confines
of a mahogany chair which had been
constructed for an ordinary man. He
suffered more than a woman with a
pair of pretty shoes three sizes too
small. t Finally he Insisted that the
chairman, Mr. Nelson, come to his re
lief. Senator Knute Nelson has a keen
sense of humor. Any one can tell that
by looking at his sparkling eyes. "When
the committee filed into the hearing
room Saturday the same uncomfort
able chair was at Mr. James's place at
the table- Ollie looked reproachfully
at the chairman. A moment later two i
INFO?) WJ i& sTS
(From The Berald of this date, 1-36)
Years Ago
Snow on the ground this morning,
competed the prize fighters to train in
doors. vien. Mariano Escobedo and senator
Joaquin Redo and wife, prominent
Mexicans, passed through xA Paso this
morning en route to the west coast,
where the senator is interested in a
line of steamships.
Telegrams which totaled' about 18,000
words were sent out from the local
Western Union office last night.
Manager Smith of the soup house has
resigned because there were so'' many
applicants that he could not convert to
the idea -that they must work for what
they ate.
The McGinties are preparing for a
blowout to be given on February 11.
The excursion rate on the railroads
during the pugilistic carnival will be
one fare for the round trip.
One of the nerviest thieves that ever
struck the town, passed R. A. Allen's
store between C and 9 oclock last night
and helped himself to six pairs of wo
With The
From Globe ( Ariz.) Silver Belt.
The El Paso Herald refers to ground
hog day as "sausage day." Undoubt
edly a typographical error. "What The
Herald evidently had in mind was
ground dog day.
From Lakewood (N. M.) Progress.
Perhaps no towns In the great south
west are more advantageously located
to successfully pursue material growth
and advancement than the towns in the
Pecos valley, and Lakewood the "White
City" of the Pecos, is no exception to
the rufe. What Lakewood needs is the
optimistic and practical booster the
booster who practices what he preaches,
and considers the Pecos Valley, and
Lakewood in particular, the place of
places to live and locate.
From Santa Fe (N. M.) New Mexican.
There is no harm in the Republicans
of New Mexico insisting that a man
from New Mexico be given the appoint
ment of collector of customs at El Paso,
Texa The port of El Paso, geograph
ica"lly"and politically is within the
sphere of influence of this common
wealth. Texas and El Paso are Demo
cratic while New Mexico is Republican;
Texas has quite a number of customs
collectorships while New Mexico has
none and therefore, in equity and jus
tice, the New Mexico Republican organi
zation should be permitted to suggest
the successful candidate for the place
at El Paso. Nothing is gained by tak
ing a back seat in demands for that
which is right.
From Benson (Ariz.) Press.
Benson's star is in the ascendancy
after having stood in one position for
years. When the r-iovement that is
Denatured Poem
Along Washington
husky porters struggled into the room,
in full view of the spectators, with the
biggest lounging chair to be found in
the building, and substituted it for the
little mahogany affair.
"I don't see whv this chair couldn't
have been put here early this morn
ing." said Mr. James, senator .eisuu
just smiled.
j "Say, Denby," said Mr. James, -you
can't make any one believe you are
smaller than I am just by sitting in
that doll chair."
"I don't. believe I am any smaller,"
replied Mr. Denby, "but I hate to ad
mit, even to myself, that the day has
arrived when I must have special fur
niture to accommodate me."
Senator Root has taken a silent part
at the Balllnger-Plnchot airing so far,
but tha.t does not mean he has let
anything get by him. It Is safe to bet
that the junior senator from New York
is taking it all In.
Every now and then proceedings are
punctuated by a sound like a steer
wading through a water hole. Even
then the judicial dignity of senator
Knute Nelson gives the uninitiated no
clew from any change of expression
on his magisterial features. But, then,
the west has its way.
day men's shoes which were in the showcase
in front.
A number of the river ranchers have
gone into the hog raising business, hav
ing learned it is very profitable.
Local cattlemen say that the fall in
the price of cattle will not affect the El
Paso market.
The Southern Pacific pay car visited
El Paso last night and after dropping
a few ducats continued on its west
ward journey.
Tonight's flyer will be four hours
late owing to the fact that it waited at
New Orleans for the Piedmont connec
tion. The El Paso Gun club held its regu
lar weekly shoot yesterday and another
will be held next "Wednesday.
Nothing new has' been learned .from
Las Cruces regarding the Fountain
Only 11 jurors have been secured for
the trial of constable Selman, charged
with killing Jonn "Wesley Hardin.
Metal Market: Silver, 67c; lead,
3.90; copper, 96; Mexican pesos, 54c.
bound to take place in real estate circles
begins, you would have holdings don't
hinder that movement by putting a
price on your property that will make
a sale prohibitive. Be reasonable. You
have held on to It now for years with
no prospect of a sale at any price. Sell
part of your holdings at least so that
the other man can see a margin of
profit; don't figure to gobble the whole
thing yourself. The other man will most
likely be willing to pay more than it is
worth but you- can scare him away if
you ask from two to four times what
the property is worth.
. o
From Santa Fe (N. M.) New Mexican.
The press must be thanked for the
advanced ideas of public righteousness
that have made such great headway in
the United States. In the big cities, in
the provincial towns, in 'the small vil
lages, the newspaper that does not
stand for morality, the square deal,
more sanitary conditions and true ad
vancement along all lines, is a Pariah
among its contemporaries. Says tno
El Paso Herald:
"As The Herald sees It, duty and not
choice, should impel every newspaper
to take a stand against public enemies
that operate openly for the corruption
of men and boys and which yield noth
ing to the city where they operate
Newspaper? are looked to by the peo
ple as a bulwark against such institu
tions and when they fall, they betray
a sacred trust; they are unworthy of
the confidence reposed in them."
You can easily sell it. Call Bell 115.
Auto 1115, tell the girl what It is and
The Herald will sell it. No bother, no
WORKERS. pJexic-
T. Haskin
PITTSBURG will have five conven
tions this week, all of which will
be in the interest of the manu
facture of clay products. The National.
Brick Manufacturers' association will
meet in its 24th annual convention; the
National Clay Machineniakers' associ
ation will hold its 17th annual meeting;
the American Ceramic society will come
together for its 12th annual session; the
National Paving Brick Manufacturers
will gather for their fifth annual con
ference; and the National Clay Products
association, the latest recruit to organ
ized activities, will meet in its second
annual -onvention. Between the five or
ganizations, which maintain fraternal
relations, little will be left uncovered
in the clay manufacturing world. Every
phase of the subject will be discussed.
Try to Keep Brick in Favor.
First and foremost in the minds of th
brickmakers is the problem of keeping
brick in the foreground of public fa
vor. The growing popularity of con
crete has been exerting an adverse In
fluence on the demand for brick, and
the nse of asphalt and wood paving
blocks for street paving has been no less
hurtful to the brick business. So seri
ous has the situation became that the
brickmakers were forced to adopt a
nor have they let it rest there they are
using their publicity against concrete.
The trade journals of the clay indus
try are bold in their flghr against con
crete. When a concrete bridge collapses,
as happened at Peoria. 111., some months
ago, pictures of the collapse are publish
ed, with such inscriptions as "sacred to
the memory of defective concrete." When
the wall of a house in course of con
struction falls and kills someone, as
happened in Washington a year or so
ago, iluustrations of the damaged house
are shown under such inscriptions as
"Stained with human blood." '
When sewer gas destroys a section of
concrete seiver. as happened in a Wis
consin town, the camera tells the tale
of "The Failure of Concrete in Sewer
Construction." When, a piece of asphalt
pavement gives out for one reason or
another, pictures of "The Shortcomings
of Asphalt" are used in the trade pa
pers. When a Baltimore fire or a San
Francisco earthquake makes a record
against concrete construction, the brick
maker writes a story of the inefficiency
of concrete and perpetrates a pun by
heading it "Some Concrete Facts."
Durability of Brick.
But not all of the campaign Is de
voted to attacking other building ma
terials: a proper effort being made to
promote brick. When the new brick au
tomobile track at Indianapolis was open
ed, many pictures of it were published
in the trade journals, with the comment
that though the drivers were benumbed
by cold, the track had proved Itself the
fastest in the world. Pictures of brick
castles that were built hundreds of years
ago are published to show the durabil
ity of brick.
Prizes were offered for well designed
brick houses, and a book of these de
signs has now been published. Every
brickmaker is urged to send a book
of these designs, to the prospective build
er in the hope that he will decide that
his building material shall be brick.
The claim is made that a house costing
510,000 as a frame house, will cost $10,
750 if made of concrete and $11,000 if
ouilt with brick.
The waning popularity of brick for
construction purposes is attributed by
the brickmaker more to the high wages
demanded by the bricklayer than to any
other cause. An effort is being made
to evolve a plan which will eliminate
the hod carrier, and it is said that this
ancient and honorable son of toll will
soon have his place taken by a hoisting
machine and fountain trowel.
, Ceramic Society.
The American Ceramic society is the
broadest organization of the five which
will meet in Pittsburg. The average per
onn tMnlr thnt fprnmies is the science of
! china painting and ornamental pottery.
and he is warranted in tnis conclusion
because everywhere that fashionable
I society is to be found one encounters a
Keramlc Klub, made up of china paint
ers and admirers of hand painted and
ornamented ware.
But the American Ceramic society pro
tARfs HE-ainst this limited use of the
j word, and asserts that instead of be
ing merely the unuseful science of fancy
china and pottery, ceramics Includes
the making of all kinds of ware from
silicates. Whether it be an ugly brick
worth less than a single penny, a beau
tiful terra cottA design worth hundreds
of dollars, or a magnificent vase worth
thousands, they are all produced through
the science of ceramics.
Anxlons for Research.
This society thinks there is not
enough research going on for the up
building of its science. It believes there
are yet many opportunities for profitable
research, and Is aiming to stimulate
such Investigations as promise to in
crease the usefulness of ceramics. For
generations the trade secret was guard
ed carefully, but under the labors of the
American Ceramic society the barrier to
progress that resulted from the "guarding
of these secrets has been broken down,
and now the whole ceramic world de
pends upon universal uptodate methods
rather than individual secrecy to keep
it abreast the tide of competition.
One sometimes reads of the finding of
toads encased in solid stone. It is a
Editor El Paso Herald:
Will you please state in the paper
that I am a very poor woman with five
children and In need of help?
3716 Alameda 'Ave.,
East El Paso.
El Paso. Texas. Feb. 7.
Editor El Paso Herald:
I desire again to repeat my warning
of a year ago. which was that owners
of livestock should not be too willing
to accept a diagnosis of hydrophobia In
their animals and allow them to' be uc.
'stroyed for It.
There is no such thing as an expert
when it s a question of diagnosing this
disease in an animal before death. After
death a fair diagnosis can be made
with the miscroscope. Only recently I
showed a case of cerebro spinal menin
gitis in a horse to an "expert," telling
him it was hydrophibia, and he swal
lowed the bait. ,
Again", if a muzzling ordinance is to
be enforced, why not enforce it at the
right time? Statistics which are re
liable show that the disease is most
prevalent in winter. Our winter is
nearly over and the muzzling is just
to begin.
I believe in muzzling, but at the same
time I would suggest that the ordinance
be enforced most rigidly from October
mystery how they got there, and more
particularly how they managed to re
sist the tremendous pressure to which
they were subjected. A remarkable ex
periment of this kind was made recently
at a brick machine plant at Bucyrus, O.
At the instance of a society of physical
research a toad was encased in a piece
of clay which was placed In a brick
making machine, and subjected to the
remarkable pressure of 11,000 pounds
to the square inch. When the brick was
taken out and opened it was found that
his toadship was still very much alive
and none the worse for the tremendous
squeezing. He was, able i-manediately
thereafter to pose for -his photograph,
sitting contentedly on top of the brick
in which he had been Incased. What
was it that enabled him to resist such
a pressure?
Big Brick Chimney.
The largest chimney in the world is
made of brick. It stands at Great Falls.
Mont., and was built for a big smelting
company. It is 56 feet high as
high as the windows of the Washington
monument. For the first 25 feet the
chimney is octagonal in shape and there
after circular. Its inside diameter is
75 feet at the base, tapering to 50 feet
at the top. It is connected with the fur
naces by a tunnel 1800 feet long.
The bricks were made especially for
it. If they had been common bricks
nearly 6,000,000 would have been re
quired. The weight of the chimney is
equivalent to that of a battleship like
the Virginia.
Freight Rates.
One of the most interesting cases that
has come before the interstate commerce
enmrnissinn in rAfpnt vears was brought
thrf hv tho hri-ek manufacturers of !
Cleveland, O. The railroads made one
rate for one kind of brick and another
rate for another kind. The brick manu
facturers claimed that a brick is a brick
when it goes to rate making, and that it
costs no more to haul a vitrified or a
pressed brick than it does to transport
one of the common everyday variety. The
railroads answered that their rates were
made In accordance with the value of
the thing hauled, and that the tariff on
high ' priced brick was really lower in
proportion than the rate on common
The Interstate commerce commission
could not see how It costs more to haul
one kind than another, so It decided in
favor of the brick manufacturers. The
result will be the saTing of 4 cents a
hundred pounds on the shipment of
brick from Cleveland to New York.
Annual Output.
The annual output of common brick
in the United States amounts to approx
imately 10,000,000,000. In addition to these
there are made 600.000,0.00 front brick,
900.000.000 vitrified paving brick, and
others in proportion. The total clay
products made in the United States each
year are worth about ?160,000,000, of
which $30,000,000 represents pottery
The first bricks ever made in the Unit
ed States were burned in a Virginia kiln
in 1612, and some of these are still in
use. Before this time all such building
material was imported from England,
and there are dozens' of old houses still
standing that have imported brick " in
Fire Resistance.
The geological survey has made a
careful test of all the building materials
now in use in the United States, and has
decided that no other material has the
fire resisting qualities of brick. In Eu
rope a vastly larger proportion of build
ings are of brick than in the
United States and all building
laws there are extremely stringent.
The result is while in the United States
the annual fire tax amounts to about
$2.50 per capita, in Europe it is held
down to 33 cents per capita.
Emperor William owns a pottery "which
nets him $50,000 a year, and many of
the German buildings, are decorated with
terra cotta pieces from his plant. He
himself has some 40 homes, hunting
lod.eres and estates, and Is a great be-
! lievdr in brick as a building material.
Brick Publicity.
Statistics show that brick publicity is
beginning to pay. In New York there
were approximately one-rourth more
brick houses built last year han the
year before, and the valf3 represented
by them increased in like ratio. This
applies to flat buildings as well as to
residences. The same is true of other
J cities. Of course a part of this came
I about by reason of the let-up of the
i financial stringency, but not all of it
i can be explained this way, as the ratio
of increase was larger in the case of
brick houses than of those built of oth
er material.
The contractors say the fashion in
brick construction is changing. Hereto
fore it has been the custom for walls to
be onade of brick of uniform size and
color, with the smallest possible mortar
joints. Now the tendency in the finer
types of buildings is to have the bricks
of irregular size, and shapes.
A western house was built recently so
that by the difference in the color of
the brick a beautiful tree was portrayed
in one of the walls, while in another an
old time court scene was represented.
If this becomes a universal fashion the
houses of the future may have as much
art on the outside as on the inside.
Tomorrow Moving Pictures.
I to March of each year. We have an joc-
caslonai case ol raoies nere aim 10 pre
vent its becoming a scourge in the fu
ture, we must tackle it now.
Dr. Mart R. Steffen.
Editor El Paso Herald:
El Paso, Tex., Feb. 7.
While riding In street tars, with the
exception of a few men. men occupy
ing seats rarely ever rise to give one
to a woman.
Several years ago, I was riding Jn
a street car started from the Mills
building and was about to take a va- J
cant seat, and as I turned I saw a wo
man comiilg in the car. I stood up in
order that she might sit down. Shortly
after, while crossing the tracks going
out to the Boulevard, a little woman
with a package got on rne car hold
ing and struggling, when I caught her
and was about to call on one of the j
men 10 give ner a. acai, uuc uciure
could do so, the woman to whom I
gave the seat arose and offered this
young woman her seat. She grapsed ay
strap with her hand and stood. One
of the men on the car seeing her rlse.i
arose and requested her to take his!
seat. She turned to him and said: 4T
prefer standing, sir."
This rebuke had the effect of bring
ing a blush to the cheeks of those men,
and I turned to her and spoke to her 'J
The Tired
Business Man
Tells Friend Wife Machine Proposes
and Should Dispose.
O A Pennsylvania professor has
Invented a proposing machine
for bashful swains I" exclaimed
Friend Wife. "How do you suppose it
"Suppose in case of rejection it has a
pop off valve," said the Tired Business
Man. "Now it is up to some cunning in
ventor to produce a rejecting machine, a
sort of cross between a refrigerating
plant and a glove machine, that will
hand out icy mittens.
"As near as I can understand this ma
chine it is made to detect the glad jump
of the favored girl's heart and vre are
reliably informed that the modern maid
has long since discarded that organ. Al
so the girl has to have a pair of hands,
although you never hear of a man suing
lovingly for more than one, nor does the
damsel bestow upon her suitor more
than one, keeping the other concealed be
hind her back, so that he cannot see
that it grasps a businesslike rolling pin.
He learns that after marriage.
"Of course there is many an affection
ate girl who has a loving heart but who
may have only one hand, and how can
she record her affections on a ma
chine? From the description given out
this machine is built on the lines of a
seismograph, that instrument by which
scientists can register earthquakes and
volcanoes. Of course there is many a
volcanic love affair and veritable earth
quakes of affection, but if any dub needs
a mechanical register to learn this he
Isn't worth the favor of a beautiful girL
What he needs is a machine which will
warn him to look out for earthquakes
after the knot is tied.
"There would be some class to a ma
chine made romance. As soon as the re
jection machine is perfected the six best
seller novelists will have impassioned
chapters telling of the great proposal
scene. "The strongly built, well knit
frame of the handsome proposing ma
chine quivered with emotion as it knelt
at the feet of the beautiful rejection ma
chine. The Indicator jiggled violently
and the proposing machine could scarce
ly control Its ardor as the penpoint wob
bled out the line which Indicated that
John Smith anadly loved Mary Jones.
"'With a haughty, albeit mechanical
creak the cold and beautiful rejection
apparatus swung out one steel arm, end
ing in a pair of tongs which clutched
a chunk of ice, and this it dropped with
a plunk on the neck of the proposing
outfit- And thus was a true lore scorned
by machinery.'
"Pretty thing, is it not? Now, my
Idea of a proposing machine, if the
young male- biped is so hopelessly tongue
tied as to be unable to signal his coy
confession, would be to buy, beg or hire
a phonograph. Into this he should
breathe his faint wish to be the lifelong
provider for the young- favored one, the
courts not interfering to the contrary,
and send it to the girl with another disc
labelled No. 1. This should be some
$2000 a -night opera, singer in a heart
throbby love song. You know that mu
sic hath charms to soothe a haughty
miss, and after she had - been sung to
she could start up the other disc con
taining the words. Miss Jones Mary
if I may call you that, for years I have
been longing with a longing which burns
like SO cent gas under high pressure to
lay my heart at your feet. Consider it
laid. "Wilt be miner She'd listen to it,
you bet you! Trust a woman's curi
osity to hear that through. Then she
could speak a dishful to the effect that
this Is so sudden or why dont you speak
for yourself. Phoney?' This would be the
real thing unless the impassioned ap
peal was torrid enough to melt the
"Then you think any woman would re
ject a man bj- machinery?" asked Friend
Wife, scornfully.
""Well," said the Tired Business Man.
"machine proposes, machine disposes."
Copyright. 1910. by the New York
Evening Telegram (New York Herald
company). All rights reserved.
in this language: "Madam, there Is not
a southern man in this car," and she
said: "There is sirj you are one."
Editor El Paso Herald:
I wish to call the attention of the
authorities and the public in general to
the dangerous practice of -target and
indiscriminate shooting going on daily
on the mesa, particularly during Sun
days and especially in the neighbor
hood of the water reservoirs. It is
absolutely miraculous that no fatalities
have resulted. For instance the writ
er was walking across the mesa from
the head of. Mesa avenue toward the
smelter on a Sunday a few weeks ago
when a ragged, steel.-jacketed bullet
struck the ground a few feet in front
of me. Near me in several directions
were women and children walking and
running about enjoying themselves.
On looking about I espied near the
water reservoirs, a group of men with
high power rifles and a single individ
ual with a pistol "blazing away" at
marks and targets located on rocky
points across an arroyo from them
selves. The bullets would strike tiie
rocks and then ricochet in all direc
tions and this right in the heart of
the great playground of the city,
where the children go to be In the open
air and get a taste of the "wild."
The city limits extend more than a
mile north of the water reservoirs and
the police should stop this shooting on
the mesa at once. What do you think
about it?
.'Race Wnr Feared.
Chattanooga. Tenn.. Feb. S. From
Hales bar word comes that a race war
is imminent. Three hundred negroes,
armed with Swiss rifles, are lined up
outside the camp and are threatening
to exterminate tjhe white workmen, of
whom there are about 150. The men
are engaged in constructing the b g
government lock and dam. The police
have arrived with riot guns and tae
negroes have fallen back.

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