El Paso herald., May 03, 1920, HOME EDITION, Page 6, Image 6

About El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931

Image provided by: University of North Texas; Denton, TX

                
EL PASO HERALD EDITORIAL and MAGAZINE PAGE
6 . Monday, May 3, 1920.
EXPLORING PARTY REACHES SCHOOL DAYS
HERE FROM THE FAR EAST
Copyright. 1920. by
McClure Newspaper Syndicate.
By D WIG
GENTLEMEN of toe windy city, yso ire thrice welcome
There are several families here whs at one time or an
ciier lived in your town. Of coniw yon nristed them whtn
they left, and came to see how they are getting on. One
iami!y lived for some time about 60 feet from Lincoln Park
on North Clark street. They like it pretty -wtU here. There
nre some families here front Michigan and a lot of chaps
vho ned to attend Hichican nniversity. Indiana haa a
large and creditable assortment of representatives. Charley
Bassett, president of the dumber of commerce, -whose
graests vou are, is from that state. Betides the thousands
that have migrated hither from northern and eastern points,
e have some native Texans and not a few from other
C-uif states. These Texas wear soft collars, silk shirts,
flaring ties, tight trousers and well shined shoes jast hke
the boys who used to take their girls to the Green MilL
There are some Spamish-Amerieans here, too, who go quietly
atout their business. They hold office, sit on juries, are
industrious, and conduct themsetves, as well, on the average,
as the Americana. Possibly yon use slang expressions a
lew weeks before they get to ns and see a few shows that
ve don't see, bat we are not aU wild.
As to whether we have bnaiaeas for yoo, that depends.
Many towns in the southwest give Chicago a goodly share
i f their trade. Representatives of Chicago honses are to be
-onnd all over Arisena and Kew Mexico. Any business El
Paso can not handle we do sot in the least begrudge you.
There is enough for everybody in this world and if any
1imk of the southwest mut zo to some city other than
El Paso we would jmst as gladly see yor town get it as i
anv other. If yoo haven't come primarily to get dwmi.
but to feel our pulse and to get an idea of how things are
going over the land well say to you that our economic tem
perature is around 98.6 and our heart beats just normal for
this high altitude. , . .
The scenery yoo will see out here of coarse excels what
vou have at home. We can't help that Our mountains are
higher than your office buildings and the Elephant Butte
and Roosevelt dams are larger than yow bridges over the
Chicago river. Tour stockyards and your packing houses
are some of your "strong" points we confess, but we have
missions out here that are older than the oldest eggs your
old storages send ns. You have wonderful movies, bat one
border raid is more thrilling than your Habtead street
lights. Then, to top it off. we have Juares, compared with
which Hraky Dink's and Bath House John's places were
pikers And as for wind, more osone whistles through a
xoyhoie in El Paso in March than blows around Mandel
B-os ' corner in 12 long months. So you are thrice wel
come, gentlemen, in a city that has bo fear of Chicago s
competition.
The Republican Pilot.
That ship in which the Tammany crowd will go to Sir
Francisco in order to be able to have plenty to drink wiL
travel twice as far as the ship in which Columbus traveled
m his efforts to find a continent
o
After looking over the American Day parade in El Paso
last Saturday most of the people on the side hues agreed
that if any shooting takes place is Juares this time it will
be mainly east and west.
1 1 TILL HAYS, chairman of the Sepnblican national com-
V Y mittee, is finding it hard to follow his announced policy
of keeping hands off in the campaign for the presidential
nomination. Realizing the advantage to be gained by the
chairman's support, managers of the campaigns of the
several candidates have tried to show Mr. Hays why be j
should' lend his powerful influence in behalf of their favorite
seas, but thus far they have not succeeded in moving him
from his central position.
Mr. Hays has concerned himself with measures, rather
than with men. He seems determined that his party shall
not throw away the victory that now seems within easy
reach. He acts in the capacity of peacemaker whenever
any serious breach is threatened. He has thus far cade a
good chairman for the Republicans. The real test of his
ability will come at Chicago, when the conservative and
radical elements of the party will battle for control. It
will be the chairman's particular duty to see that, whatever
the convention result, both factions shall support the ticket
Hiram Johnson is the man the party organization fears.
It is the general belief that the men who will be in control
at Chicago win never permit the nomination of Johnson,
bat they are anxious to bring about his defeat without
alienating the Johnson following, which recent primaries
have shevi. to be so inconsiderable part of the party. To
find a conservative who will be satisfactory to the radicals
is the problem before Mr. Hays and his' associates.
AVWAT OOttT TAKE. WO( NESN&
m M M A SK0HO CW
" ... . tM EM.
iw -- . nI
LPitil roan.
vuth ier.
IT CDVVj v
6rt wot IT
vou-R swiwq
WITH "We
Hew
No Place For Hate.
Going to Juares and getting silly is bad enough, but to
come back and pester your friends with solemn resolutions
never to go over again is the ultimate annoyance.
Returns from Republican preferential primaries indicate
that president Wflson is going to get a lot of G. 0. P. help
in making the treaty the psnm nt hose.
The full growler has taken the place of the fall dinner
pail as a pc slogan fee the soap box orators.
The destiny of this nation wfll be determined in its
homes and not in Washington.
NOTHING international can interest us mere than our
future relations with Great Britain. Propaganda in
spired and carried on by enemies of the empire has brought
a large group of Americans to the point of hating her.
Americans should think long before they let their minds
become fertile soil for the weeds of anglophobia.
Our inheritance of language has tied us to Britain. The
fact that we live much alike and have a common literature
and common religions and political freedom also ought to
keep us together. The fact we had to fight for independence
and did fight for it should not be a barrier. VTe did not I
fight the English people, but the "government of the time.
The two Treat English speaking nations roust stick to
gether and be charitable with each other's faults. Nothing 1
would please the disorderly peoples of the world more than
an estrangement of Anglo-American relations, and nothing
would result more disastrously for the world. It is re
zrettable that some well established journals in both Eng
land and America have yielded to the popular pastime of
manufacturing prejudice.
Time was when an eclipse of either the sun or the moon
was an event These days an ecHpse ranks with the life of
the penguin for general interest
Minneapolis spent $55,000 during the past winter in re
moving snsw from streets and sidewalks. Why don't they
move the town farther south?
It would be a joke on Mr. H. C 0 "Living if after routing
out the administration things should go on pretty much
the same.
i ?3m&- 'yaw1 wmffxm uttl pm-c
I H I TU r,r CO ON " B
V VirtSTtteP- To GO Ml
' V:.TSrt Mfejnd
; KSSBkJ. 3ssBs5sWrik s?v -TWTSr. it I
11 1 iirr 'vnfmiHijwiiJi
I Patter And Chatter
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. By S. E. KISER.
Something Will Be Gained,
COlB. let na Join la hoperal uic
And fareireU to feart
If ne aave Iodst bem enuifi by
wrong;.
Deliverance Ss near.
Front Bast and West and Xorta aad
South.
Bach flllrd irllh brare lateatlom.
Tie drlrjfateM will vmb met fertk
To fill the bis eeaventleaa.
TUB orators, vrllh flufclas eyes,
Will akake thrtr llsU and awrat
Aad tell urn how we may arise
Aad find eoatentment yet.
Tke platform builders will be there,
aad they will tret tesetaer
To banish aH that la unfair.
Inelndlnsr wlud aad weather.
whom they
IB standard-bearers
choose
Will Qroni!ii all n, n.rf.
And each will aolUntly rctnae
To heed the toIcc of Greed.
The hands wiH pUy, the liars will
wave
Oa every aplre aad steeplei
Xew heroes will eallat to aave
Aad serve the "common Beepo!."
TBB cheerlae wiH be Dae and loud
And echo throtuck tke land I
A trnaty few will ru! tke crowd
Aad keep It well In kaad.
Their promlaco will all fall flat,
Bnt dent condemn them licrhtly:
Theyni Eire na cause to hope, and
that
Will ease the pressure allz-htly.
. U: Id I - It jPS lift
1f?". 'Nb ADMITTANCE
HAVB.VT TOO MET THIS COUPLE.
, In New York. th ethor day. a man aad a woman who started bousn
banting; found test what they wanted. Bat eoroshody else bad a lease oa l:
and. anyhow, the rent was 111 a minute saore than they ooM afford to pay
A SUBJECT FOR KIAMLV.VTIO-V.
Hla cbUdran sur he'a lost hla head:
They may bo right ao doubt they are
Ho bought a howe aad lot. instead
ur pareaotas a
About Broadway Plays And Players
By BIDS DUDLEY.
0 weH, if the Democrats want him again they have the
right of self determination.
There has been lots of good advice, but the goHen ruk
i as good as any.
The aaful shcdois of tome unseen Poller
Floats, iho' tauten, amongst us.
Pcrcr Brnht Shelley.
Little Interviews. -
Birth Of New Political Party One Of Possibilities "This Year
El Paso Gets Much Publicity At Hands Of Advertising Men
T BELIEVE the day is about here
hen x new political party will
be formed, or possibly two. said
7M. L. Femack, St. Lonis newspapw-
man. Hie drift of things Is toward
no great parties, one of them eon-y-r
ati e to downright reactionary
"d the other protieaslve to radicaL
1 tnink two each parties wonld about
a com o a at toe voters or tne coun-;--
it don't pretend, of course, to say
just how the formation of a new
party is to be made. I would not be
s urprised, however. If the seeds
3 ioo trelt sowed wonW not reap a
1 a- est, and Roosevelt really was
rot a radical in any sense. Johnson
r .xht pull out of the Republican
paxtv and take with him recruits
t-cr both of the present old parties
OPHELIA
ranTMBsl
In case a standpatter dominated the
Reabjicans and Wilson continued to
dominate the Democrats. Hoover
might hold together the disordered
Republican factions, but it would be
for one more term only. Hoover is a
wonderful man as far as ability, edu
cation and experience ero, and would
probably make an efficient president,
bat he lacks the warmth and en
thusiasm and human appeal which
Roosevelt had and which Johnson
has In a lesser degree. As for Demo
crats. nobody can dope out what they
will do. They have been at the crib
so long they are pretty well filled
up. TTTey will stand behind the men
whom they believe can keep them
there.'
"El Paso got more publicity at the
recent convention of advertising: men
in San Antonio than any other city
represented," said A. R- Mill lean. The
San Antonio papers gave us plenty
of e and everybody treated us
first class. El Paso is certainly on
the map in Texas now. One of the
features of the convention was a
huge relief map of the state show
ing our topography and resources.
This was electrically Uluminated.
This same map will be at the world
convention in Indianapolis next
month and from there It will go to
New York to be on exhibit as long
as New York wants to look at it."
"One reason Mexican houses built
of adoae crumble and become dilani
dated in a comparatively short time
is Because tney are never painteo.
said Km est L. Clark. -Rain and wind
cause the corners of the adobes to
crack because they have no pro tec
tion against the elements. A. coat
ing of paint, each as Is used on
nearly all American houses, would
give much more life to the Mexican
structures. I dont recall ever hav
ing seen a Mexican house painted
with genuine, scientifically made
paint. Those that do make a pretence
or tt usually use some aomemaice
preparations that has no value as a
pi east ait, e or a protection against
weatner.
"Honest men loo4cioT for Jobs
snouw apply to we x. J4. u. a. em
ployment burean on North Oregon
street and ten us wnat tntr can do.'
said A. H. Wheeler, ccretary of the
bureau. "There are a lot of people
In El Paso out of jobs, but very few
are out of work who really want to
work. We don't spend our time tak
ing care ot tne eaters, oums aao
others who are afraid of work. If a
man needs a job. is willing to work
and work hard, and can convince us
of It, we usually get him a place
without any trouble aad without any
charge to him."
f Bedtime Stories For The Little Ones
UNCLE WIGGIXY AND LULU'S MAY BASKET,
i , By 1IOW.UID It. CAniS.
UNCLE W1GG1LY LONGEARS. the
nice old rabbit gentleman, who
could twinkle his pink nose like a
sunflower, went on. day to call on
Grandpa Gooseygander, who was 111
with the epizootic. Lulu, the dock
girl, told Nurse Jane, a little while
14 Years Ago Today j
Prom Tke Herald of This Sate 190G i
T7ROM San Fraaclaco comes the re
a. port that It la reared the death
Hat will be much greater than
at first expected. Since workmen
have commenced clearing away the
Ynlns a great many bodies are being
A sew street car line la under rah.
sideration tor El Paso. The proposi
tion is to make a belt line to the
union depot, the cars to go out San
Francisco street to the danot and
down the sew Davis street to Over
hand, Dsck os overland to Oregon
and up Oregon to. the starting point
A viaduct over the railroad tracks.
either at Octavla street or some
other parallel street nearby is a
proposition to be taken up by the
city council at an early meeting.
W. J. Rand baa returned from Aus
tin where be attended the state shoot.
Mr. Rand took second place and
"Bob" Cooserly. of Austin, first
place.
Odell's grocery at Highland park
was somewhat damaged by fire this
morning.
Xra. E. R. Dalbey has returned
from a trip to Agaascalientes.
Yesterday the El Paso Electric
Street Railway company closed the
contract for Washington park tor the
summer. It la the intention of the
company to at once go to work fist
lag It up and making ready for the
o posing on May 12.
Chief Florence jr. Hall, his sob,
F. N. Hall aad J. G. Titian have
bought out the interests of C C
Tanner in the cattle ranch near Dom
ing for K0.000.
KW1Z
Bee tC SL Pat. Off.
-:- Rippling Rhymes -;- !
a By WALT MASON. , u ltl , f
Crazy Times
QTJUKE and tie world strikes with yoo; work and yoo work alone. 0m
'-' souls are ablate with a bolshevik crate, the wildest that ever was known.
Groan aad thereH be a chorus; smile and yon make no hit; for we've grown
long hajur and we preach despair, and show yon a daily fit. Spend, and the
gang wfll cheer yon; save and yoo have bo friend; for we threw or backs to
the birds and ducks, and borrow from all who'll lend. Knock and you'll be
a winner; boost and yonll be a frost; for the eU sane ways of the prewar
days are now from the program lost Strike and the world strikes with yon;
work and you work alone, for we'd rather yell and keeping raising Hannibal,
Mo, than strive for an honest bone. Bant, and you are a leader; toil, and yon
ae a eu; 'twas a bitter day when we pulled away from the oldticie workdav
ra- Wait, and therell be a blow-up: watch and'youH see a slump, and the
tit sjiS c- :r.es of These crazy times will go to the nation's dump.
-- - . -ire Ma::: t Adcs 'WALT MASON.
New Questions.
1 What alim of the zodiac la a
child of early Mar born under?
2 mist are tne iacicy jewels for
persons born In May?
I Which Is the "Granite State"?
i Where are the Channel Islands?
S What la a gauntlet?
C What great Industry Is Alaska
noted for?
7 Who are the Bnraafans?
8 What well known character in
olden times sought for an honest
in at mid-dav with a llsrhted
lantern?
What is the "girl-less" tele
phone? 10 Who Write "Twenty Thousand
Leagues Under the Sea?"
Answers to lst Knu.
I The old time custom of fonnine
parties to go out early on May
day tc gather flowers with which
to decorate the May pole was called
"going a-maylng."
2 The srav festivals and Mav PoIa
dances with which the English peo
ple ceieoratea aiay oay zor centuries,
came to an end during the Puritan
days in Enerland under CromwelL
1 The great flower festival called
the Floralia was the Roman Xay Day
celebration.
4 The papular motion picture
actress who Is called "America's
Sweetheart" la Mary Piekford.
5 A revenue cotter la an armed
vessel, usually a small fast steam
ship, belonging to the United
States marine service, employed to
enforce custom house regulations.
t The meadow lark finds a
favorite home in Massachusetts.
T Platinum Is the second heaviest
metal in weight.
S The motto of the Salvation
army is, "A man may be down, but
he's never out."
9 The Salvation army conducts
its work all over the world. In 66
countries and 40 different languages.
10 Although rhubarb is today a
natue of many countries ami ir
l.rdres anous aneties. the farllest
rerrils of it a found in CMna
rc"'r. a dr.ie- pi :ard fro-n it- r .-i
I Jnat wish you could have heard
Graaopa Goosey laugh.
afterward, that she would take
brandpa some flowers.
Now all this while Uncle Wlggily
was at Grandpa Goosey's honse. and
the rabbit gentleman was doing hla
best to cheer up the old gentleman
goose. But Grandpa felt very badly
from the episootlc Nothing the
ounny rabbit uncle did seemed to
cneer his friend.
"I know what I shall do." said
Uncle Wlggily at last. -I shall sing
for yoo I shall sing a funny song.
"I don't believe even that would
make me laugh," quacked Grandpa
uwerj.
But when Uncle Wlggily set his
tall silk hat on the floor, and then
stock his red. white and blue striped
rheumatism crutch oa top of the hat,
and balanced himself on one ear on
top of his crutch say I just wish you
could have heard Grandpa Goosey
laugh then.
"Oh, I feel much better now!"
laughed Grandpa Goosey. And then
Unci. Wlggily got down off his
crutch aad he and Grandpa Goosey
were looking from the window, when,
all of a sudden they saw Lulu Wib-ble-wobble.
the duck e-irl. mmlm-
along with a basket of May flowers.
She must be brine-inar than 1a
you." said Uncle Wlggily.
"Well. I'm sure that's very kind of
her," spoke Grandpa Goosey. And
then the two friends were very much
surprised to suddenly see the bad old
Pipsesewah hop out from behind a
stump and make a grab for Lulu.
But all of a sudden Uncle Wlggily
and Grandpa Goosey saw Lolu
thrust her May basket of flowers
right under the Pip's noee.
The bad chap took a long sniffy
sniff and then, as quick as a blink, he
turned a somersault over backward,
and a front peppersanlt and away he
ran holding his paw to his nose.
Lulu looked at htm. sort of laugh.
lac under one wing, and then she
waddled on to Grandpa Goosey's
boose with the basket.
"Here are some flowers I brought
you." said Lulu.
-Mt wnai znaae us np act i
fanny when yon let him smell them
asked Undo tvlggflr.
"Oh," said Lulu, "yon see these
aren't real flowers at alL But they
look real, and when Z put some of
Nurse Jane s perfume on them they
smelled real. So I brought them to
you."
"That was very kind of you." said
Grandpa Goosey. "But what made
the Pip act so funny when he smelled
the nice perfumed paper May
flowers?"
"Oh. ho!" lasghed Xjala. "Ton see
the paper flowers are fastened on
sharp wire stems. And I guess some
of the sharp ends mstct have stuck
the Pip In the nose," she said, aa she
put the May basket on Grandpa
Goosey's table.
"I think so myself!" laughed Uncle
Wlggily. Then they all had tea. with
Grandpa Gooeey. And if the glass of
NEW YORK. May J. Charm means
as much to a nlar as It does to
a woman. Onos an audience is
under its spell the night is won.
Unhappily, this cannot be said of the
play gien at the Kltfnaje theater
' last night, for while "Martinique"
has much the same color aa "Mis'
Nelly of N Orleans." Its has by no
, means the same chaisn.
Obviously. Laurence Eyre goes
south for something more than his
, health, and it must be said that In
striking oat of the beaten track this
' author achieves a certain Dletur-
squeness rare in the theater. But this
time there Is a vague and rambling
quality in his meandeiinga. Once
a Grain he aroea harkr tn an aarrv
' period 184 and once again he
, brings his heroin, from Paris.
Zabette ts a nice girl who baa been
1 brought up in a convent, but her
1 mother, It would seem, never went to
Sunday school. Any way. Zabette '
father was the husband of Madame do
Chauvalous, and as this upright dame
r.aa nothing to ao with tne ease, sne
is ootn nnrrteneuy aad Inhospitable
whan the girl arrives hi St. Pierre. In
fact, she sends the Innocent visitor
to a shady quarter of the town where
quadroons have their fling, and then
marries her daughter to a reluctant
youth In the hope that there may be
an netr to tne unauvatous lanaa. ant
this youth haa seen Zabette on her
arrival only to love her. and so on
his wedding night. If yoo please, h.
goes to her and doesn't get home tin
morning. Oa his way back he la set
open by a Jealous villain aad so
badly beaten that he lies at -death's
door for six weeks. He tumbles over
the threshold and down the stairs
when Zabette calls to him daring a
row In the courtyard and then dies
comfortably In her arms after she has
assured hlra there will be an heir to
the family name and estates. The
uncommonly neglected wits, you may
be interested to know, haa already
put In a claim for the hell. Tee, It
Is all a bit complicated, nrt to say
extraordinary, and although It sounds
fiery. "Martinique" is merely lake
warm romance.
TH dedsiea t' charge 75 cents fer a
hair est is awaftin' th approval o'
Cart Meadows, proprietor' o" the EHte
barber shop, who's been at a great ex-
pense in visiti- Cuba. Td hate t' be
a plasterer an' have t' work fast," said
Carpenter Ike Lark, t'day.
Coprrlaht. National Newspaper Servks.
Ye Towne Gossip.
Hedeured U. S. Pateat OtOse.
By K. C. B.
Telegraph Dept, X. Y. Stock Exchange.
DEA R X. C B. m admit from th.
v. ry start that this has been a
' ci j wsa vra wwio. I 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 II J
la oe tn
, for the past five years, i
Quick ns a bllak, he turned a somer
sault over backwards.
milk doesn't try to run away when
the bread wants to Jump In and have
a swim. I'll tell you next about Uncle
Wlggily and Alice's plea. Copyright,
136. by the McClnre Newspaper Syn-dldate.
very last person crael eftoagli to add
to ita many staggering buxdeaa.
atiii. as a regular reaoor ex your
I column. I cannot help bat write to
you asking it yon win oe Kind enough
to solve a great mystery that is prey
ing on my mind.
In our coat room, which is on the
fifth floor, on a certain morning each
week Charley Fagea walks over to
young John Bennett, of the bond de
partment, shakes hands with him aad
says: "Happy New Year, John.
And John looks an, staring straight
at Charley, and responds In his deep
basso voice: The same to you.
Charles, and many or tnem.
HOROSCOPE
T IKS DAY, MAY 4. 1B24J.
JUPITER rules strongly In beneflc
aspect thfa day, according to
astrology. Uars is friendly. Late
In the evening Saturn and Uranus
are adverse.
The seers read that supreme, oppor
tunities in commerce will open at
this time, but they may be affected
by Uranus, the p Ian e t t hat causes
trouble, owing to poor diplomacy.
This should be most favorable for
any sort of business initiative. Again
new lines of cooperation are fore
cast. There should be legacies and bene
factions affecting hospitals and
bringing good fortune to physicians
and surgeons who will make great
strides in their scientific knowledge.
Again the law of opposites works
and w h lie medical aci e nee is pro
gressing there will be an unprece
dented Intrest In all sorts of faith
cures. Many healers will gain at
tention. Law courts will be much discussed
during this month owing to litiga
tion that awakens wide interest.
Fame and honors f'r a lawyer
seems to be forecast. This prophecy
is made by astrolopers who foresee
something quite apart from the po
litical world
Reaction affecting the high rust of
living will gain power during the
spring and summer, but prices will
not fall to any (treat extent within
th- next few month"
The kmc of Sweden comes onder
a sw ay th.it for- shadow s social I." ic
riput?, b-rea emer t aid ..1-
I A Line O Cheer
I Each Day O The Year!
AS TO DEFYIXG FATE.
DEFYING Fate is well enough for
you
If you've the stuff to see defiance
through. '
And love to fight
Both day and night.
But I have found It serves a bettor
end
To try to make of Fate a smiling
friend.
And thus to woo her to my side until
She serves my purposes with right
good wilL
An Enemy defied Is hard to bend.
But you can mold with ease a loving
friend.
Copyright. 19)20, McClare Newspaper
Syndicate.
MORE REVIVALS.
Now that the season tor revivals
has been welcomed by the new
"Florodora," Broadway hears that
Henry W. Savage has an Idea, he'd
like to revive his famous musical
comedy. The Merry Widow." There
is little doubt that such a venture
would prove highly remonsrative
since the piece stands oat even to
day as on. of th. biggest mvsieal
hits this country ever knew. It la
reported, also that. Mr. Savage may
stage "Woodland again. This was
another Savage hit that might have
a "come back.
to this position on receiving from M
Ifeyer hla note for $200 and sis era v.
towels to pay for answering a recent
trick limerick. The nappy sender of
the note successfully solved the
limerick as follows: :
There was a young- lady named
Kitty.
Who sans; a most aorriMa ditty.
While Archie, her a ran.
Saldt --Dear, dont ytra knew,
I think It decidedly craaBeTrles.
Vow today's trick rhyme, friend
needs a final word that mean some
thing George Washlngun would ha
nothing to do with. If you tnir.,.
you have found It. rash m your solu
tion with a check for J 100 and son
hsnana fritters for the camnatg-.
fund. The rhyme:
8sM .Id Mrs. IHcxIns. "Ok my:
I thtak therea an ant in my pie,
There wasn't at aH.
Tmi Juat a pur. stall.
Too bad the old lady should .
tte
cossrp.
Henry Miller has returned to
east or rne Famous Mrs. Fair."
The Messrs. Saubert prodncd
"Susan Leatox tn Boston this ween
Friday night "Happy Days- at the
Hippodrome equaled the records "f
"Hip. Hip. Hooray" and "The Biet
Snow," each er which ran 42S per
formance at the big theater.
John E- Hazard, of "The Xigi.t
Boat," haa spaded op his mint be:
at Great Neck. I I. and slanted .-.
with forget me sots.
AX3WKRS TO INQUIRIES.
Halpem We'd like to see you tat
peanuts and play the Vidro la.
FCOM5HME-IT.
I, haven't any airplane.
To ride my sweetie in.
V.r do I own a dainty JHr,
That sounds so much Uke tlni
I haTent any aaip that floats.
I haven't any bike.
But I can take her for n walk.
Ain't I a lucky Ikef
FHOM THE CHBST.tLT' TREE.
"Have you seen Arthur?"
"Arthur who?"
"Our thermometer."
TUB LIMERICK RACE.
Frederick A. Meyer has been made
an honorary banner bearer in the
great Dudley for president parade.
which will take place soon. Jeffer- take part In carrying out a popnl i
son Shrewsbury Xutt appointed him 1 American program.
All u.s. asked to hold
PILGRIM LANDING FETES
7sew York. May X In celebratlu:.
of the tereeatataaary of the Isudir
of the POgrtm fathers, the Folgrrr.
Institution has Issued an addre.-v
urging; the people of the tn:t.l
States to conduct appropriate cere
monies in every section of the coun
try, beginning June i. Great Britai i
and Holland. It said, will ceiebra:
through psonlea committees and w.
send representative delegations
Secrets Of Beauty Parlor Held Sacred
By HELEN ROWLAND.
CONSIDER the Empress of the
I, Beauty Parlor, how she floor-
isheth.
She dlssemhleth not. neither doth
she flatter; yet. the queen of Sheba
In all her glory was not more power
fnl than one of these.
She greet eth the flapper and the
dowaeer. alike, with sisterly condes-
weeks I have watched t cension; for she knoweth all their
i I'h
i ' v
trine of Jupiter in bis horoscope. He
should safeguard hla beajth.
Libel salts growing ont of political
differences will be numerous and one
will be exceedingly sensational, it is
predicted.
Violent storms are threatened on
the Atlantic ocean next summer, so
tourists are warned to consult their
stars before sailing.
Saturn near the cusp of the second
in square to Mars after September
25 ii read as presaging a panic in
Wall street.
Persons whose birth date it Is
should be rather more cautious than
usual during the coming months.
They should beware of false friends.
I Children rrn on tnis day are like
ly to b-1 restless and rather difficult
to pi-ase They will be puccebsful if i
I flttt-d :nfo the right niche m life
"op-i:1- T2"' Iv T . MX'Ijre
N-t s up- r -S.. rale.
Vfir minT
this mysterious exchange of greet
ings, but have never been able to
learn Its full significance. Can yon
explain t xours sincerely.
Max Posner.
My dear Max:
Oat In the west
About ten days ago
In the buffet car
Of a railroad train
And at a way station
Two ssea got on
And one sat down
Right next to me.
And a little later
We came to a river
And waterfalls
And a power boose
And a great Dig sign
About "water power'
And the man next to me
Looked at the sign
And said, "water power"
In a very loud voice.
And kept on saytnir it
Every little while
Till at a junction
A boy came In
With a basket of peanuts
And sold him some.
And after that
For many miles
He'd say "water power"
In a very load voice
And after a pause
Would exclaim, "peanuts!"
And then two Indians
Got on the train
Asfd be looked at them
And said: "Indians!
There must be Indians
Around this place."
And right away
I said to myself
"This guy's a detective."
And, anyway.
For miles and miles
He'd say "water power"
And then "peanuts"
Ana men inaians
And nothing else.
And the man who was with him
Took him off
At the county seat.
And I'e been thinking
Sime I read your letter
That mibe Charley
And may he John
b.vg .-, jtSJ Jyjye
secrete, even the hairs of their heads,
and all their heartaches and domes
tic troubles: and NOTHING is hid
from her. For that. which a woman
would not confess unto tbe spouse of
her bosom, she will confide to her
hairdresser, without shame.)
Her hair Is brighter than a
May emit Hue, and her ftagertlpa
are a shining light In a dreary
world. She it rare th 17 enrla and
! baaghty.
With her bands she worketh
wonders and miracles, turning the
blonde from ash to roam, and the
brunet from chestnut to henna.
The dowager enteretb her door a
gray moth, and emergeth a pink and
yellow butterfly; tbe shop-girl goeth
in a wage-slave and cometh out look
ing like a beauty chorus.
Tbe matron goeth In a bag. aad
cometh ont a flapper! the flap
per approaeneth a babe, and de
parteth a vampire.
She removetb tbe obstinate freckle
and causeth tbe wild eyebrow to lie
down and be good. She beateth na
ture at her own game, and glvetb
time the merry ha-ha!
Others may sins thy praises a- .
extol thy charms, bnt SHE tell-:
tbe TRUTH!
She satlh:
"Ok. ray deah! What doest the .
with ALL those eyebrows T For
knoweth thou not that eyebrows ar--passee,
this season?
"Alas, alas, thy cheek is rough
than a cave-man's manners, and th -brow
ts like a Turkish towel. Yet.
would not have happened It tho a
hadst usdd OCR cream.
"Go ! Tby eblm xaggeth and
thine hair Is as lnstreleaa as a
last year's joke. And WHO
bath done thy finger nails f For
they are simply terrible:
"Verily, verily, thou art a SIGHT
And lo. all thy vanity falleth from
thee, and thou art mightily humL.3
in thine own eyes.
Tet, princesses accept her ju de
ments with humility and are NOT
offended!
Fer. In the Beauty Parlor,
every woman cometh Xace-to-faee
"with her ovn souL
And the secrets of a Ma&omo order
are not more SACRBD than t ie
secrets of a Charm-D! ape" sar,
where the women are gathered to
gether in an inviolable pact, for t- a
confusion of Men!
Then give tbe Hairdresser tv
fruit of her labors, and let her works
praise her. For her price is aboo
rubles! Copyright. 120, by W.eelex
Syndlcate. Inc.
EL PASO HERALD
DEDKUTED TO THE SERVICE OF TIIE PEOPLE THAT NO GOOn rirsr , . .
LACK A CHAMriO.N. AND THAT EVli. SHALL NOT TraOPlralp"
II. B. etatfr. eMor sad contraHag owner has abetted Th. Herald for m!
. ft WUmarta ts manaiet sad A A. Martta b oian. r1nr tdltor. T
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