El Paso herald., July 28, 1920, HOME EDITION, Page 6, Image 6

About El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931

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EL PASO HERALD EDITORIAL and MAGAZINE PAGE
Wednesday, July 28, 1920.
BRITISH "OFFICIAL SECRETS ACT"
AND THE NEW SPIRIT OF RULERS
AN INEVITABLE canseqwnce of the dictatorial habits
which took possession of government daring the war
u the growing disposition to control and censor the conduct
of citizens in many new ways. This disposition has always
been strong in the armies, bat civilians, fa the governments
or oat, hive resisted the extension of censorship- and
espionage. During the war, civuuss outran the army in
taking up the ways of the czar's bureaucracy. It must
have been sweet to them to possess and wield soeh powers,
for they are seeking everywhere to write them into the
permancrt laws of their countries.
Attempts at censorship by the army in time of peace,
attempts at suppression or distortion of information by
courts or judicial authorities or executive employes, these
things are contrary to the fundamental principles of the
republic and must be everywhere and at all times exposed
and resisted. Bnt to build up a spy system, as part of the
government, a spy system conducted by the executive and
indiaal departments and the army, seems to be resolved
upon by a strong group in every conntry.
France, as everybody knows, is plagued with govern
ment spies. The united States has at least ns scare 01
them. England is going dangerously far toward destroying
many of-the guaranties that have been won through cen
times of devastating civil war and political revolution.
A very large part of ail the censorships, suppressions,
and official lies of war times were foolish and wrong,
ignorant and often dangerous through the effect on public
feeling and opinion; bat they were tolerated because the
majority of the people were bamboozled into accepting the
official declaration that they were necessary.
Bnt there is no reason why the people should tolerate a
continuance or extension of such methods sow that the
war is over. Free speech and a free press must be unhin
dered, unless they clearly and imminently threaten the
public safety. It is right that the state should protect
itself from destruction, and the preaching, teaching, and
printing of anarchistic doctrine whose end is the destruc
tion of the state should be discouraged by pubHc sentiment,
restricted, and if need be suppressed by force. But even
in connection with such propaganda, it is often true that
the best way to meet it is to let ft alone, on the principle
of the safety valve. It is rarely good, public poKcyto
suppress by force the expresstos of opinion unaccompanied
by overt preparations to commit crime against persons,
property, or the state.
To illustrate what is already happening in England, it
is worth while to refer to the pending "Official secrets act"
which is designed to take its place permanently on the
statute books re Hen of the "Defence of the realm" act
which was enacted for war time.
The "Official secrets act" has infinite possibilities for
harm. It has passed the house of lord and ft is expected
that the house of commons will accept it since it is a gov
ernment measure. A British newspaper gives the following
summary of some of its provisions and their effects:
If for any purpose prejudicial to the Interests of th
stpu fand that, as the war time acts taaa-ht us. includes
.in' opposition or criticism that cabinet ministers may
dislike) tou make "any false statement or any omission
whMnT knowingly or not you are liable to two years'
1 ai d labor.
If you keep any official document yea oaa-ht to return
to the authorities say an income tax form two years.
If ou msil or associate with, or have the address of
anlKdv who has cer been employed by a foreign power
to commit an act against the interests of the United
Kinsrdom 'a terra which includes every German alive.
n ost Russians, to say nothing of all sorts of other for
Ltgnerpj two years. If your foreign friend Is only
rcaiorably suspected" two years.
If mu know anybody who has done any of these ter
r b.e ihinps and you edon't tell the police, or Sir Basil
Thompson ;, spies, all about It two years.
'" f-ial for any of these "offences may, atth. re
i i -t of the government, be held in complete secret.
And so on. If this amaxing biU presumably the
Sroduct of Sir Basil Thompson's fertile brain becomes
lw, there is not a newspaper man, not a trade union
official, not a man or woman engaged in public affairs at
all. but may be elapptd Into jail at any moment for some
preposterous "crime against the "security of the state."
Since the United States in many ways is following the
lead of Great Britain in its governmental, political, and
economic evolution, it is to be expected that some such
measure, adapted somewhat to the limits of American tol
erance, will be urged by a certain group in this country.
It is well for citizens to be forewarned, and to be constantly
on their guard against every attempt on the part of a gov
erning clique to enact broadly worded laws that may give
warrant to unscrcpnloss officials to attempt grave injus
tices against those who differ with them. We have
bureaucracy enough in this country now. It is time to be
gin breaking it down and getting back to something ap
proximating a real representative and responsible government.
A Modern Excelsior
SCHOOL DAYS
Copyright 1920. by
McClure Newspaper Syndicate.
ByDWIG
iiliEI
Arms And Decollete
LED by J. W. Weatherford, one of their prominent towns
men, the citizens of Flagstaff, Ariz, have decided they
are going to have a road built to the top of the San Fran
cisco mountains if the state corporation commission will
give its consent. And knowing the progressive spirit of
Arizona no one seriously believes the commission will deny
the authority to construct the highway.
The San Francisco mountains tower high above the
deserts of Arizona and the highest peaks poke their noses
into the eternal snows. From these elevations six states
of this union and a part of old Mexico are visible. The
people in the vicinity of the mountains could neither ask
nor have a better summer playground than these mountains
afford. In a few hours, with a good road bmlt above the
heat lice, the tired and perspiring resident could find a
place of rest and rejuvenation in these hills.
The southwest is learning to use its hilltops as places
of refuge from the sordid daily grind. It was no mere
figure of speech when the singer of old said: "I win lift up
mine eyes unto the hills whence cometh help."
o
How that we have been told that the secret of long
life is to take life easy will someene please rise and tell
us now.
Were the votes left uncounted in the ballet bexes on
the theory that seme of them will sprout or multiply by
fissien?
Most of us den't want the eevemment to sauander our
money because we want to do it ourselves.
If Mexico gets prohibition she should apply it to her
politics as well as to her liquor.
o
If they had azue oat that wav. we mieht thfafc lm
Angeles jnst had drills.
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m& W ESCAPE Reo ,
By EDKA KENT FORBES
RE your arms pretty enough to
show? So many women wear low
neck, sleeveless evening gowns.
jai owKyw v im cbub uwm who
mm m ,Kfinrli U wlAKy thai.
neck and arms are pretty enough to
be seen. The only reason why even
ing gowns are made low and sleeve
lees. Is because a woman's shoulders
and arms are to beautiful or should
be that others should share the
pleasure of looking at them and for
reasons of protection against the
weather, such as decollete cannot be
worn out in the wind and sun every
day But In the evening, when all
eat elbow joint. A good manicure
will make most any head presentable.
Exercise win also reduce an arm
that U too fat for beauty a vigorous
type of massage, without using any
cold cream.
Questions and Answers.
ReIUj Use a hair tonic every
night. It will nourish the hair as It
comes in. tfhetrer er not it will b
straight. I csinot say, sometimes hair
that has been curly comes in straight
after it has been shaved off Get a
good hair tonic one you can rely
on And rub the scalp with the fin
gers every night, for the thlcjcness
One thing, if we live lenz enouzh we'll see the end of
Villa, for he will die.
Great Britain weaH probably trade Ireland and give a
lot to boot.
The moid is iti on ptect. and in itself
Can make a heaven of hell, and hell of heat-en.
scntea.
Patter And Chatterl
By S. B.' K1SER.
w
: y him who Is frray and trlse.
Wl.r TTFsltfc lncrf-0-.rfl from
lay to day;
W he Ita Trhere Ike temples ef com-
mere rises
-Vb1 rales ns only a master may.
His cfotfces are new aad Ms hands
are white
His fcren- Is Mpb aDd M Iek Is
ti--al:.
Bat ijtt nnd then, if his heart Is
right, .
He grants la tarn from the noise
ana eroirC
I.OwlJnf; for nlsntsere trlfh rod or rt,
HMIbb; Trhere leafr branehe eross.
Bnrlnsr his throat to the irind and
ana.
CeaslBisr to eare how th trocM Is run.
tain Kin-? nomine JCaia or
loss.
The Call of the Wilds
Rive him praise rtho Is faithful I
And
VV where
He earns the bread that his lored
ones seed
Hta work Is worthy, his purpose
fair
The world Is deep In his debt. In-
aeeta.
His danshter-'a amees may sire him
7-rIder
He may praise the things that his
on achieve.
And others may look to him aa their
Glad In b-e-HeTinj; what he believes
Bnt now nnd then, if his heart la
n-gat.
He feels the loaginc to tarn, from
care
And, far from the noise where the
Ushts are brfarht.
He so to sleep on the jrroond at
night.
An ta ens-like, being: strengthened
there.
Old Clothes Gave Her
A New Idea That Paid I
By FRANCES Z, OUtSIDC
TOW JOt OW TUB KIXD.
Some people think they are being persecuted when others Insist on find
ing out th truth about them.
A XEW JOB FOR TUB CORONER.
Gi e a pretty woman a roaring roadster and a handsome chauffeur and
let society be prepared for another shock.
Reflections Of A Bachelor Girl
By HELEN ROWLAND.
A WOMAN neer can express her
true opinion of a man not even
on his tombstone1
It takes a lot of actual cleverness
to write a brilliant and effective
love-letter bnt it takes a lot of
actual brains to refrain from writing
one.
When a couple are matched but
net xoatefX, taey ore as lonely and
Ineffectual as two left hand
Cloves.
Three men are necessary to every
charming woman's education: one
who teaches her to love: one who
teaches her that she is lovable, and
one who teaches her how to inspire
love
It looks to me as though the noble
ambition of each political party Is to
"save the Country" from the other
party!
Aa a man grows older, you never
can tell whether he will begin doing
the things at which be need to be
shocked or begin to be shocked at
those who do the things he used to do.
A vrtse 7oman Is one who
knows exactly what a man
means, -tvhen she knoira that he
Is saying a lot of things last he
doesn't mean.
If every man were as polite as his
chauffeur and every woman as
courteous and considerate as her hus
band's steongrapher, there would be
fewer romantic triangles of the draw-lng-roon-office-garage
variety.
Some husbands are forever "turn
ing over a new leaf and then blot-
Square Dealing
By WALT aASO-V.
lUHSSg
i
YflCLL have csstooeri contented if the goods in which yon deal always are
aa represented in year advertising spieL Bat if you deceive yo'cr patrons,
tared by falsehoods to year stare, there'll be angry sen and matrons thirsting
for yoar nch red gore. Clabning wool and selling shoddy will not get yoa
anywhere, and ezcases large and gaady win not make the matter sqaare. I can
sell a tinhorn sonnet to Gossamers now and then, bat when they want odes,
doggone it, they won't come to me again. I most do the best Tra able every,
time I sell a sosg, or some gent will prod my gable with a pitchfork's rusty
prong. Such ezcases aa I offer, broken health or Jim H. Jams, find the scorner
and the scoffer, and I cannot sell my psalms. Once you've fooled a human
being, yon have earned an ebon mark; and a hundred, that mark seeing, will
avoid yoa as a shark. Let no bilking schemes enchant you, put temptation on
the ice; yon may stuig me once, I grant you, but you cannot do it twice: And
the dealer who is wiser than a wise old setting hen is the honest advertiser who
would have yoa come again.
- i-Tig-lit by George Matthew Adams WAIT MASOH.
LT'ery woman has wondered what
tj the -orlTes ox numeraires do with.
their discarded gowns. They are
not worn out; this class does not
"wear out" anything In the sense In
which the great middle class under
stands the term. These women of
weaixa wear a garment once or twice
sometimes when the garment Is not
up to their expectations they do not
wear it at all.
And what then?
A woman mused Naftal aafrA !.
self this question. Then she had an
Ideal Why not serve aa a middle
woman between these vomm ha
could afford to tire of a garment so
irpusdily. and the woman who wanted
goad dothea, trot ewald not afford
wiw awtf) pnoesr
That -was her Mm. 9h hnttt- Mn
business and now. after thirty years.
anaiuQ mat exieaas an over
country, women In her home
Free Camping Grounds At Park Are Big Asset To City;
Person Driving Another's Auto Is The Most Careless
THS free camp ground at Wash-
X ingtoB Park for automobile tour
ists represents one of the most
orofltahle investments that the city
has ever made." said city councilman
Martin Sweeney. "Lioeated in a cool
and beautiful spot, with conveniences
soeh as running water, gas and ample
shelter, it causes the tourist to leave
El Paso ready to boost and advertise
tne city. Because or tne accommoaa
tlons, it is so every day occurrence
that a tourist who intends being here
over night or for Jnst a few hours
rearranges his plans and spends sev
eral days In J51 Paso. 1 Paso could
well afford to cater to the tourists In
each manner, for attractions offered
by the city will attract many such
visitors, ana 11 properly enieirainea,
we will have profited not only from
their trade, but they will become a
walking aavertssecaent zor us.
"The fellow driving an automobile
belonging to someone else is a more
freuuect violator tf rtaffic laws than
the man who drives bis own car,"
said Bt S. Mnrden. for many months a
county traffic officer "The fellow
the
city send for her; the dealing Is con
fidential. Never does she say to a
customer, "I bought tats of Mrs. Van
Astorbilt," or of "Mrs. Newporter."
She gives bo names. She boys; she
sends the Garment to a cleaner, solely
for sanitary purposes: she haaas It
m her shop and sens it. She boys of
". very weaiuy. ana sells to those
wiiu aiuer are not so wealthy, or
" n uuwriiea trait or thrift.
tucn or her business is done by
mail. Dresses come to her from all
pans w me conntry to he bought.
Orders come to her from women who
want to buy. She made her Inspira
tion pay. What have yon done wtth
years?
(Copyright. 13SM, Thompson Feature
Service)
ttag up the page Copyright. Hit, by
-..M-sro.-Ci tSj-JiUlClLltS, iflC.
LittleBobbie'sPa
By WILLIAM F. KIRK
PA WAS fh Chicago & he calm hoam
last Bite.
Did yoa look up my Unkel
Fred? asked ma
He looked me up, sed Fa. Z had to
entertane him a whole eevning.
Neil' time yon go you have to talk
me, sed Ma.
Ton can go next time, sed Pa. Do
you know, deerest, sed Pa, I dident
see a stngel lady In that whole big
city which looked as classy & Stilish
as what yon do. sed Pa.
Honest? sed Ma
Honest is right, sed Pa. There was
lots of butlful wlmmen thare, but
most of them looked like they was
Jest going to vote, sed Pa. They had
a kind of grim & deetermlned look.
Pa sed; not cute & dfanpeld like you.
Tou are a perfeck darling to say
that, if you mean it. sed Ma.
I meen It every word. Pa sed. A I
dident see any litel boys as pretty as
Bobbie, sed Pa
Cut that out, I sed. if you ewer
call me pretty aggen. I sed to Pa, I
will ran away from hoam & be a
moving picter heero, I sed.
Bobbie, sed Pa, you doafat know
how proud it malks me to heer you
speek thus. Tou are a true son of
yure old gent. Pa sed. Wen I was
a ltttel boy 1 was so strong & aav
loge, said Pa, that nobody wud ewer
dare to call me pretty, sed Pa.
s saw a picter or you taken wen
you was llttel, sed Ma to Fa. & I
guess TOU are rle-ht: nntwu!v wnri
ewer dare to call you pretty.
Then Pa looked at Ma kind of funny
& I guess he got soar. Psepul is fun
ny, they can call themsels hoamly &
wen sumbuddy else calls them hoamly
thay doant like It. But I am dtffernt,
I am like Mister A. Linkun I am
hoamly & 1 dcant care.
TWENTY FIREMEN- OVERCOME
ill l'ACIUXG HOUSE FLAMBS
Chicago, TIL, July " Twenty fire
men were overcome while fighting a
fire that praotlcally destroyed the
beef house of Armour & Co , a five
story structure covering a block The
flames menaced 11, 000,000 worth of
beef
mind the fine so much, but the cost
of the automobile restrains hiss from
taking chances. It la possible, too.
that he hss attained a success in
business which, in turn, has reacted
to make him conservative in useless
chance taking. The youth driving
papa's car. and even daughter, some
times, and the employe driving his
firm's automobile are among those
most frequently nabbed for speeding."
rr "
"The actual transmission time of
an average length message on a wire
from El Paso to San Francisco Is less
than one minutes." said T. A. Darling.
manager of the Western Union at El
Paso.
"But it usually takes from IS to 10
minutes to push a telegram through
the other slower processes to which
it Is necessarily subjected, before it
reaches and after It leaves the wire.
"For instance, it may take a mes
senger anywhere from three to eight
minutes to reach a business office for
the telegram, and the same length of
time to return with It to the tele
graph office. A clerk must then
'count It. Indicate whether collect or
paid, and whether It Is a fast tele
gram, a day letter, or some other
class of service, before It la sent to
the operating room.
"At 'the office of destination, the
telegram is sent and the route out
station for delivery. But It must first
be copied and numbered for purposes
who owns a car probably doesn't lot record. Again the messenger gets
It, and another three to eight min
utes is required lor delivery.
raere is a way, nowever. or en
tirely absorbing the time Inherently
necessary in pickup and delivery
service, and that is to telephone
telegrams direct from an office to
the telegraph company's main office
and at the office of destination to
nave tnem telephoned to the
dressee.
"More and more, the plan Is meet
ing with favor by business aesi
everywhere. Some times when you're
in a big hurry to get a telegram
urougn. just give tne plan a trial,'
he concluded.
"The Ranger oil field has played
out," said P. K. Gardner, "because too
many weus were drilled. Being In
limestone formation, when a tot of
wells were sunk through the lime
stone, the gas rushed oat and there
was no pressure left to force the on
up. 'Where the drillers move far
enough away from the original field,
they are getting good wens."
"A carload of thoroughbred Dnroc
jersey nogs witi oe suppea zrom tne
E. P. Frist ranch, located below Clint
to the Fort Worth market some time
next week. said IL C Stewart. "Mr.
Frist is a red hog enthusiast and be
lieves that with proper care and feed
ing they are the Meal type for this
valley.
Three years ago a carload shipped
from this ranch topped the Fort
Worth market at 12J.H a hundred.
"At present iM hogs are being fed
on this farm, which is modern in
every detail, the pens being roomy
and well constructed. Mr. Frist de
pends largely on barley and rye for
feed and pasture."
ROUNDABOUT TOWN By & a. martin, j
rS "Ton Tell-Em" fan is the
latent bar 1 many of the bigser
cities. It's a lot of fun- All that
la necessary to become a Tou Tell
'pm" fan is Jut to be a little natty
to begin, then have patience to sit
down and write themont and nerve
enough to tell thorn to somebody or
send them to the editor.
If they are not too bad and yoa
want to put off some of them on the
writer of this column, try your hand:
use a sharp pencil, for a sharp pencil
ought to help when you are making
a pun get the Idea?
It Is not necessary to send a check
with each contribution: a gallon of
bootleg likker will do anything to
attract our attention to what you
snd In and then something to dis
tract our attention while your stuff
gets past ps to the printer.
as an example, a zew are appenaea:
Tou tell 'em ladle I'm dippy.
You tell 'em. whale, you're always
spouting.
You tell 'em, feathers, they might
call me down.
You tell 'era, shoe, eyelet you.
You te-H 'em. Sfevajo rug. youre got
the Indian sign on 'era.
You tell 'em. -flower garden, yonll
forget me not.
You tell 'em. spring chicken, you're
only n small fry.
You tell em. sob sister. I'm not
the prince of walls.
You tell m. nortn and sontn poles.
3&sMite
"I'M so fed np on criticism that I don't
a believe I care fer anything," said
Tell Binkley, t'day, is declinin' a invi
tation t' lunch. 'Who remembers when
folks used f hesitate at th' price?
Copyright, National Newspaper Service.
there's a world of difference be
tween yon,
Tou tell Vm, door, I cant bear to be
slammed.
Indoor sport: Wondering vhere
Selh gol all the voles.
Things to forget: What yon said
about the other man la the campaign.
When we get women for police of
ficers, let ns hope they don't carry
their guns where they carry their
powder puffs or aU the criminals
would escape before they could draw.
' Oar idea of a snap: Ceiling pat
in the El Paso county jail.
Johnny Cain in the recent primary
contest decided to put oat same
posters advertising his race. The
man he hired to put them op didn't
know his business, for he nailed many
of these banners in places where the
effect was lost by contrast with other
signs. For example, on Seventh street
one can read: "Cain for assessor.
Uneeda bun." "Cain for assessor:
have a shot of our free air. it will
help yonr Inner tubes." "Cain for as
sessor: second hand salts of clothes
at less than cost price."
The girls have acquired and are
using military terms freelv these
days. "As you were" Is now their
command when a young man gets too
intimate, (so say taose wno snoald
know.)
The galley Itoys Kay If the
women keep In politics, candi
date will haTe to give away
powder puffs nnd perfumery as
well as poor cigars and bootleg
whisky If they want to get the
votes.
Say what you may about the merits
of the men who head the two tickets,
bnt If the pictures in the papers are
anywhere near correct, we agree with
the San Franclseo Call, that the new
baby in the Cox family Is going to cut
some ice before this campaign is
ended.
3 ja ja
W1IES A TEXAN CirT SORE,
HE'S SORE.
(Houston Post)
"King rides a Missouri mule." says
a headline. Thar s what gets our goat.
The durned Missouri suite gets all
the publicity and the Texas mule does
all the work.
Word squares often afford consider
able entertainment for those who
like to work their minds. Here is
one: t
CAPON
ABOVE
PORES
OVERT
NESTS
What can TOU do In this line?
The Sunday amusement question
bobs up every once in awhile In every
community. Here's how a contributor
to the Washington Times handles the
situation
"Some of the church people seem to
be trying to pull some Kaiser Bill
stuff on us in regard to where we
The Young Lady
Across The Way
i
31
LJJ
Can Tou Wear Sleeveless Gowns!
life throws off its working clothes I of
and its working spirit, and starts to : cf
enjoy itself then folks want to dress
in a light hearted fashion, to match
their feelings. Clotb.es then are to
accentuate beauty, and to give pleas
ure to those who see them. Such, at
least Is the origin of fantastic styles
in evening dresses.
Yet many forget that arms and
shoulders should be exposed only
when they are beautiful to look at!
Or perhaps their owners have never
examined themselves impersonally
enough to find out whether or not
they really were good looking! If
you belong In this class, watch your
self In your mirror, and If your arms
are not quite lovely cover them up.
and then work hard to make them
beautiful.
Massage with a flesh building
cream and arm exercises will develop
the ana to proper proportion, ice
rube will make the akin fine, massage
with cream, or soaking to olive oil.
wfl round out the sharpest and ugli-
tbe hair depends upon the supp1
blood that feeds the roots, an .
massage Induces this supply.
Lester Acid month can be over
come by using milk of magnesia as a
mouth wash twice a day. and by
using it on the tooth brush, rubbing
the brush up and down Instead of
across the teeth so as to get
between the teeth themselves. If
your teeth have been properly at
tended to. they should not hurt when
you touch them. Zjemons. oranges,
grapefruit, are the most addy fruit
vinegar is addy. likewise. But you
must not cut out all tfee adds in
your diet, the system needs them.
s
M. It B. Physical exercise of as
sort, and gymnastum work especial
ly, will make yon grow. But I
would not worry over being small
lots of girls wait tin they are fifteen
and sixteen, then grow several inch
In a single season. Yon will be mucv
taller In a few years.
Bedtime Stories For The Little Ones
L
UNCLE WIGGILY AHD THE BABBEE.
By HOWARD B. CARLS.
0
NCB upon a time, not ss many
years ago. there lived la Wood
land, near the Orange Ice moem
talns a nice eld pig gentleman, who
kept; a barber shop. He was a very
fat. sleepy sort of pig. and sometimes
when he was lathering the whiskers
of Mr. StubtaU, the bear gentleman,
or trimming the beard of Uncle But
ter, the goat gentleman, this pig bar
ber would fallsleep. And some
times, when heofd this, soapy lather
from the brush would get in Mr. Stub
tail's or TJncle Butter's mouth.
"I declarer said Mr. StubtaU to
Uncle Wiggily one day. after the pig
barber had gotten soap in the bear
gentleman's mouth twice; "I declare
tf there was another barber la town,
I'd go to him to get shaved."
"Yea, Mr. Wuff Wnff Is not a very
lively barber." agreed Uncle Wlgglly.
The pig gentleman's name was Mr.
Wuff Wuff. as I might have told you
before if I had thought of it
One day when Grandpa Goosey Gan
der went in the pig barber shop to
nave some or nis tail leetaers tnnuneo.
Mr. Wuff Wuff did halt of them and
then he fell asleep, knocking over a
bottle of bayrum. so that a few drops
of it splashed In Grandpa Goosey's
eye.
This is too muens- quackea urana
i Goosey. "Wake up, Mr. Wuff
Wuff! Why do you sleep so much?"
"Ob. ho! Yum: Yum! rum!" grunted
the pig barber "I guess if s because
I don't have customers enough to keep
me busy," he went on. "If X had
something to do every minute of the
day, I could keep awake. But you
nai gentlemen only come in once
in a while to have a shampoo, hair
cut or shave, and I get In the habit
of falling: asleep between times."
Til tell Uncle Wiggily about it
said Grandpa Goosey. "Maybe he can
think up a way to make you keep
busy so yov won't slumber so much."
And when Uncle Wiggily was told
I what the pig barber had said, the
bunny gentleman knew at once wnat
to do.
"That pig barber should advertise,"
said the bunny ancle. "He wants to
have his shop better known. Why.
all the stylish shops have a red. white
and blue striped pole out In front, so
It can be seen tar up and down -the
street. Than when anybody wants a
haircut or a shave, they look for a
red, white and blue pole. like my
rheumatism crutch, and they know
where to go. If you had something
like that, Mr. Wuff Wuff. you would
be so busy you'd have no time to go
to sleep."
"Do yoa think so?" asked the pig
gentleman barber, holding the lather
brush up la front of his face so the
bunny would not see him yawn.
Tra sare of it" said Uncle Wig
gily. "But where could I get a nice red.
white and blue striped pole?" asked
the pig gentleman. "Would you lend
me your crutch r -
"Oh. I couldn't do that," said Uncle
Wlgglly. T need the crutch for my
rheumatism Bat In paint you a bar
ber pole lust like it, and that will
bring yon so many customers that
you'll never have time to fall asleep."
"Please do." begged Mr. Wuff Wuff,
and rnl. Wtswllv Aljt wtL -..
! red, white and blue paiat he went to
i tne Daroer anop one oay and began to
sinpe an on rrotaea poet, wnicn Mr.
Wuff Wuff had bought to stick in
front of his shop. Uncle Wiggily put
pretty red. white and blue stripes on
the pole and it was set up in front o!
tne oarDer snop.
And, almost at once In came wr
Kinkytail. the monkey gentleman, f
get his whiskers trimmed.
"I was looking for a barber ibop,
when I happened to see your red
white and bine striped pole," said tie
monkey gentleman. And. after that.
along came Mr. Longtall. the mouse
geatleman. and Mr. Uttletall. the rao
blt. and Mr. Buahytail. the squirr-..
so that Mr. Wuff Wnff was so busv
shaving them he faA no tine to go to
sleep.
Now while the barber shop was
filled with animal gentlemen wait.ng
to be shaved, an while the red. white
and b'.ue striped pole was shining n
the sun along sneaked the Pipsls
wah and the Skeeaicks. The Fip
nudged the Skee and said:
There's Uncle Wiggily!"
"Where" asked the 8kee.
"Well, if he isn't exactly in sight I
see "his red. white and blue striped
rheumatism crutch," went on the Pir
pointing to. the barber pole
"Oh so it is!" grunted the Sk
"But his crutch seems to have go i
THE yobs; lady across the way says
her father makes it a point never to
owe anybody anythia& always giving1
his note at the bank fer whatever
ready mony he seeds.
shall or shall not go on Sundays. The
majority should be allowed to rule in
this matter. The churches have as
good osportunitv to attract people as
shows and amusements. If they lose
out in tne competition it is tneir
fault. Is majority to rule? Have we
democracy or tyranpy?
"Wm. F. Best,"
Short Snatches
From Everywhere
At any rate the war made the world
unsafe for a mustache wtth a rising
reflection. Harrtsburg (Pa.) Newa
They have stopped stealing auto
mobiles In Detroit: everybody in town
now nas one Seattle Post In
telligenger. Four thousand dollars and her hus
band disappeared from a woman's
home on the same day. Every cloud
has Its silver lining. Philadelphia
North American.
"There's many a slip between the
cup and the Llpton." Many Ex
changes.) How welcome is this old
friend after just seventeen years
from the paragrapher's page! Nash
ville Banner.
V-5 rw5 . - !-
- ! TS. .oil Batsy3'
liil.
) A. 'fc"-p JHBswkjtSisgjy)i
smlI-li&rArMrfl,
Unele Wlgglly Put tne red. wblte and
blue stripes on. the pole.
bigger. I guess bis rheum&Usm '
worse, so he needs a stronger enrtcti
to loss on. Well, so much the better.
We'll catch him all th more easily
We'll wait hero until he comes ou ' '
So the bad chaps, thinking the bar
ber pole was the bunny's crutch, and
that Dnele Wiggily was inside, bia
around the corner to wait for M
Isongears to come out-
But Just then Mr. Wuff Wuff, th
pig gentleman, came out to look at
the sky to see It it might he go'nt;
to rain. And m his paw the pig bar
ber had a long, sharp razor.
"Oh. come on! Come en' This Is 10
place for us! He's coming to snibt- a
out tails with that sharp knife
howled the Skee, and he and the P v
ran away and didn't get the bunny ac
alL And the funny part of it was
that Uncle Wiggily wasn't even in tha
barber shop. So his souse was sat c-i
again. And if the egg beater doesn t.
try to give the pancake turner a ride
on the rolling pin, and make it fa: I
Into the sink. I'll tell you next about
TJncle Wiggily and (he electric bell
Copyright, 1920, fc by McClure News
paper Syndicate.
Kabibble Kabaret
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