El Paso herald., August 12, 1920, HOME EDITION, Page 6, Image 6

About El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931

Image provided by: University of North Texas; Denton, TX

                
EL PASO HERALD EDITORIAL and MAGAZINE PAGE
6 Thursday, Aug. 12, 1920.
HOW JAZZ AND RAG TIME UNDOl SCHOOL DA YS
THE CIVILIZING WORK OF AGES
Copyright M20 by
McCInre Newspaper Sy-idlcate.
m
JSIC is a ton or teaes having any or all of the features
of rhythm, melody, or consonance: melody or harmony
generally, as heard in nature or art. Music is the science
or art of a pleasing, expressive, or intelligible combination
of tones; the art of making such combinations, especially
into compositions of definite structure and significance,
according to the laws of melody, harmony, and rhythm;
the art of inventing or -writing, or of rendering, such com
psitions. The definitions are from Webster's unabridged.
The noise being currently produced in restaurants, dance
halls, moving picture houses, and on the great majority of
phonographs and pianos, both the automatic and the manual
varieties, possesses the single feature of rhythm, and by
that sole claim can it be classed for dictionary purposes
as music. Otherwise it does not bear the remotest resem
blance to music
Precisely as identical rh" to be called "music" is pos
sessed by tha pneumatic riveter, the air drill, the machine
gun, the circular saw, the electric fan of oscillating type,
and the moving locomotive, for each makes a noise that
possesses rhythm, and that is all that can be said of modern
"jaa" and all its relatives. The dictionary definition is
faulty because not exclusive enough to be reasonably
descriptive.
By "jazz" for the purposes of this discussion is meant
99.9 percent of aH compositions produced for instrumental
or vocal performance in America during the last four years.
Just one composition out of each 1000 is entitled to the
slightest consideration as being a musical composition. The
rest are sot merely nuisances, they are degrading, harmful,
and hateful.
This stuff possesses neither melody nor consonance. It
is sot harmony. It is unlike anything ever heard in nature
or art It is neither a science sor an art, ser the result of
either science or art. Neither its invention nor its produc
tion or interpretation demands that the inventor or pro
ducer possess the slightest knowledge of music or even a
gram of intelligence.
He or she who raves over the beauty of the mssie of a
klaxon horn or as open muffler, a steam siren or a street
car gong, may find delight in jazz.
Jazz and all its relatives as above defined are neither
pleasing, expressive, nor intelligible combinations of tones.
These compositions have no definite structure or signifi
cance. They violate all the laws of melody and harmony, and
most of the laws of rhythm.
When people go dance-mad, they can and win dance to
anything. Clapping hands and stamping feet are quite
enough for many such.
But how they or anybody else can bear to have these
hateful noises tinging and jangling in their ears contin
ually without going insane, murderously insane, is one of
the mysteries.
Yet miffloss of people actually buy this stuff in the
shops, actually ask queer young men and gum chewing
young women to "sing" or "play" it, actually buy phono
graph records and player-piano rolls with the stuff cut into
them, and take them home and put them is their instru
ments and Tnir thATM go around.
The vocal pieces are as bad as the Instrumental Eag
time or syncopated measure in itself is sot necessarily un
musical; many of the world's greatest composers have used
it effectively and wonderfully. But the rag time and syn
copated stuff of this day is sot music and its inventors
and producers are sot musical. People seem to have lost
the art of singing or playing music. And having lost the
art, they have lost the joy that comes from hearing music
sung or played.
This present day jazz and rag stuff is expressive of
nothing except the degraded taste of the time, and of
shallow mindedsess and coarseness. In the dance hall it
can be tolerated because it marks the time and helps put
a kick into the wit that dancers esioy as part of the
sensuous stimulation. Elsewhere it has sot the shadow
of as excuse for existence.
The saxophone, an instilment whose capacity for beau
tiful music is comparable with the 'cello in right nanm,
has bees put on a plane with the steam siren for ugliness
and shock to the riser senses.
The piano is so longer played, it is merely executed.
The banjo, as Americas instrument with honorable
relatives in all times and is all nations, and with musical
qualities of so mean sort when handled rightly, has bees
abused is these jazz and rag gangs until it is less musical
than coal going down a chute into a coal hole.
The drum and triangle, that Beethoven made the feature
of one of the lovehest movements of his greatest symphony,
are now regarded as fit rivals of the boiler shop and the
railway crossing signal as orchestral esrichers.
The fiddle, next to the human voice the greatest of all
solo instruments, is sow, in the hands of the typical jazz
bandit as musical as a handsaw tearing through a sheet
of galvanized ires, and almost as pleasing as the sound of
the trolley car rasping arouse: an usgreased curve is a sasd
storm.
This jazz and rag stuff in as eating place is a public
smsance of more than ordinary criminality.
If there is one hour of the day when a mas or -woman
likes to have peace asd reasonable protection against un
necessary disturbance it is when he is eating. But the jazz
asd rag bandits keep up their damnable racket almost
every minute. If they would play music it would be pleas
ant but they won't; they don't know how, but they do
know how to wreck the last remnants of love for one's
fellow men that a diser-ost brings to the table with him.
This stuff affects injuriously the serves, the train, the
eyes asd ears, asd above all the digestive apparatus. It
keeps one all a-quiver with unutterable hatred and anger,
and seta all the nerves of the body to high tension as the
victim feels an almost overpowensg desire to smash all
the chma in the house over the heads of the bandits or
bandsmen. It makes it impossible to rest the thoughts on
any one thing more than a tenth of a second, or to put two
thoughts together. It makes conversation impossible, and
eves a glascje across the table seems to be broken is two
by the dreadful blows of raucous sound that come from
the jazz gang, nothing tastes right The eyes hurt. The
ears ring.
Physiologically the effect on the diners-out is most
disastrous. Every function of digestion from the moment
the food is taken into the mouth until the last drop of
perspiration evaporates is subject to crossed wires, inter
ferences, plugged apertures, deficient or excessive secretions, I
acidulated alkalies and alkausea acids, solidified liquids
and undue dilution of salt reserves, cramps, defective
oxygenation, autointoxication, fermentation, and coagula
tion, filtration and seasickness, all due to the antisocial
activities of the young mes who are being paid to destroy
the business by killing the patrons.
There's nothing to do about it, except just to wait The
devotees cannot survive their ows excesses, asd maybe the
next generation will at least be able to find a new tune to
take the place of the 2,364,755th imitation of the one
original of this species. Like Wilson, it is something we
have to bear for the allotted time; and time itself is a
shadow, that passeth away.
It has bees said that "Cranks are the dissonances is our
symphony; too much sweetness is monotonous; like pickles,
they are nature's means of emphasizing the harmonies of
life."
Meaning no disrespect to pickles.
Poland is receiving scant sympathy from the world.
Her greed was untimely.
o
The league of nations has a hotbox.
o
Moral force among nations is a tremendous thing, whes
it is backed up by money, material, and men particularly
men.
Lloyd George admits that Britain can't and won't en
force article X is the case of Poland. Other nations are
not going to have the least hesitation about making this
sort of "reservations" is any crisis that may arise. The
American way is the best way: to make the reservations
before signing.
A man who has served two penitentiary terras expresses
surprise in Bostos that the authorities look on him sow
with a grain of suspicion. He naturally thinks that if the
penal system is any good he must be a better mas sow
than he ever was.
o
By comparison with the rest of the world, Mexico is
heaven.
Those folks who are bound to settle the whisker ques
tion may recall that the Germans in the world war -were
bushed liberally while the Americans were dean shaven.
o ,
Storing The Waters
rE ENDEAVOE that is being made jointly by the states
of Arizona asd Hew Mexico asd the IT. S. reclamation
service to locate dam sites on the upper Gila and San
Francisco rivers in western Hew Mexico ought to succeed.
According to the Lordsburg libera!, which has taken a
deep interest in irrigation matters, the Alma project on the
upper Sas Francisco river has been favorably reported on.
A dam sear Alma, If. M, would conserve the flood waters
of the upper Frisco, as the stream is known locally, im
pound water for power purposes and serve as a safeguard
against high water at Clifton.
As investigation was conducted at Bed Sock, IT. M, on
the upper Gila to find a site for a storage dam to provide
irrigation waters for the and lands of Anions. The report,
however, was unfavorable. That a suitable site for s dam
will be found os the upper Gila, possibly sear Cliff, IT. M,
is lisxiy. ijov. uuupceu or Arizona is rasing an active
lead is the matter and has promised to take the problem
up with Gov. Larrazolo of New Mexico at once.
The southwest has many such rivers as the Gila and
the San Francsco that can be dammed at more than one
stte along their courses asd thus made to serve the seeds
of large territories.
o
Denver, whose chief of police was recently hit on the
head by rioters, is in the same class with Omaha whose
mayor a mob strung up for a little while,
o
Pretty soos the weather is going to pay handsomely
for all of those spring sasd storms.
o
Lower California has a big nut crop this year.
o
Heading the papers, one is sometimes is doubt whether
it is Desver or Warsaw the reds are after.
o
It is aH right to put money in oil, but some folks put
theirs is water.
1 MiUaBHi Ul HcKEttCP1. vWert op itiflEWwilW fflfflxl,
WMmm if vat. Bermt 0HSiKll&
mfesasssz&z f " - mmim' sJPM JffliAmiWSWdjL
W? Nn COURSE 1 tmbJlWSiiiUs
V vi 6eca m WjMm !
hi im uwii imms&fezm. mm
H1IM v3)l
in WBiMffm -v arjK jh
SS&xMmM wsS
- " -.,. .JssWisr1"-" -- " r-s
."v" :-i-r-
By D WIG ! Bedtime Stories For The Little Ones I
UNCLE WIGGILY AND SUSIE'S HOOP.
By HOWARD It CAIUS.
0FISA1K' : Z
Patier And Chatterl
By 5. E. KISER
THAR a c H seemed aa thonsh
. They couldn't booit the prices
higher;
For coal and ice and oleo
They socked It to the saddened bnyerj
For what he ate and irfcat he wore
They made hint hand them all his
Traces x
It seemed as If we Ured once more
Back In the darkest of the ages.
rlEY used to tell us ererr week
That things would soon be looking
brighter;
They said that we had reached the
peas
And that our burdens most grow
lighten
Bnt all the promises we got
Were empty, as they showed cs
later.
The prices for the things we bought
Continued always to be greater.
High Prices
A:
at
H bnt when springtime came
last,
Xew hopes came with lt sweeter.
fairer t
They told us that the worst was past
For every weary burden-bearer.
The world took on a brighter hoc.
The darkened aky It seemed was
clearing;
They told us punishment was due ..
For those who had been profiteering.
TJT now we know that greater woe
B1
Is coming
Than we hare borne
quickly i
The prices of a year ago
"Will soon seem small and frail and
aleklyj
With higher rates the profiteer
Will hare new cause to list ad
vances. And If you do not like it here
Go somewhere else and take your
chances.
The Young Lady j
Across TJie Way 1
Secretary Baker is carrying home his ows soup bone
and Mrs. Baker is hoeing carrots is the back yard. This
insures that living win be cheaper this winter, rtiv to
the Wilson administration's magnificent right for economy.
o
Napoleon said that Providence is always on the side of
the last reserve. So keep at least a nickel is your pocket
our or your salary.
o
Not a single pomegranate is our gardes has bees
allowed, by the small boys in the neighborhood, to ripen on
the tree. Isn't this proof enough that times are normal
asd coys have sot degenerated?
o
The loss cf wealth is loss of dirt;
The happy man's vishoul a shfrL
John Hevwoed.
IQUESTIONS AND ANSWERS
i i
OHow nick will tke lnereaie In
. xrelsfct ratu add to the price of
a pound ex meatr c
A- Basins eompntaUons on a 1000
mile haul of teed to stock, stock to
stockyard, and stockyard to consumer,
the freight iscreaM will add less than
1 cent to the cost of a pound of meat.
Q. What la the preaent population
of HairnUt X. M. C.
A. The census bureau says that
the population of the Island of Ha
waii is 76S.91Z. an Increase of C4.0M.
and that the city of Honolulu has a
population of S3, SZ7. aa increase of
31, Ht.
Q. How saaay tlmea hae Samuel
Compere been elected president of tae
American Federation of xabor, and
bow many years has lie beld that of
ficer T. E. IT.
A. Samuel Oompers has held this
office 39 years, and has been elected
3 times. In li4 was the only ilme
is 40 years he was not elected to of
fice John IfcBride being elected that
vear
Q- Are blaetberrles classed as an
nuals or perennials T D. P.
A Blackberry bushes are peren
nial plants, since it is not necessary
to plant them each year.
Q- Hew can I secure a sloas on
whitewash T K. H. TV.
A. A pound of cheap bar soap dis
solved in a gallon of boJUngr water
and added to about fire gallons of
thick whitewash will Impart a gloss
like that of oil paint.
Q. Give me a desceription of the
lsnls fatuos. T. B. T.
A. The Ignis faittns is a pale-bluish
flame which appears after sunset,
floating; about two feet above the
ground, sometimes remaining fixed
and sometimes traveling Some au
thorities think it due to the pres
ence of phoaphureted hydrogen gas.
others, to the combustion of methane.
It is seen most frequently in northern
Germany, in the swamps and moor
land districts of northwestern Bag
land, and in the lowlands of Scotland.
Q. Does the procedure for natur
alisation differ In the various states
of the anient T. J. M.
A. The proeeedure is the same In
e ery state The naturaliiatior laws
a-e Gr national not state origin
Q. What is the meanlns of the
old sarlDsr "Beware of the Greeks
when they offer alftst" C.L.I.
A. The original "I fear the Greeks
bearing gifts'; appeared in Vergil's
Aeneid. The reference is to the Siege
of Troy. The Greeks besieged the
city of Troy without success. Finally
they resorted to strategy, offering a
huge wooden horse to the Trojans
as a gift. The horse was taken Into
the city asd while the Trojans slept,
the warriors, with which the horse
was filled, came forth and opened the
gates for their Greek comrades. The
conclusion is that one should fear an
enemy when he seems friendly.
(1. If St, Patrick converted Ireland,
who converted England, alnee tbe an
cient Britons were pagans t H. TJ. W.
A. St. Augustine of Rome, under
the direction of Pope of Gregory X,
carried the gospel to England.
Q. On a deed of land where the
notary public signs his name and
under It writes "commission expires
December 31, 1922, does the owner
of the deed have to renew it at that
date, and what is the reason tor this
datef H. A. S.
A. The owner does not have to
have the deed renewed on this ac
count. Tbe date Is added to the name
of the notary public because he is
commissioned to act as notary only
to the expiration of his license, and
it Is necessary to state that any
paper was witnessed with all re
quirements of the law fulfilled.
d. What Is a sundogt D. P.
A. A sundog is a specific name
gives to a form of halo, and is an
optical phenomenon produced when
the light of the sun shines through a
delicate cloud or layer of fog or mist.
(Any reader can get the answer to
any Question by writing The Herald In
formation Bureau, Frederic J Haskin,
director, Washington, D. C The bu
reau cannot give advice on legal,
medical asd financial matters. It
does not attefapt to settle domestic
troubles, nor to undertake exhaustive
research on any subject. Write your
question plainly and briefly. Give
full name and address and enclose
two cents In stamps for return post
age All replies are sent direct to
the Inquirer).
BIRTHS RECORDED.
Ruth Rosalie Burns, daughter of
Mr. and Hn. Edward K. Burns, IMS
Texas street.
Edward S. Blackman, Jr. son of
Mr. asd Mrs. E. S. Blackman, Sll East
aan Antonio street.
Orville Walter Pohlmyer, son of
Mr. and Mrs. Georire H. Pohlmyer.
2417 East Boulevard.
i.
Hired Help
By WALT J1ASO.V.
"ITJE used to have a stately butler, the most impressive gent alive, a major
VV domo and a sutler, and proud domestics four or five. Before the war they
did their duties as good retainers ought to do; they seemed to us a bunch of
beauties who well deserved the wage they drew. But since the times became
unsettled they tried to travel on their gall, and thy became so highly mettled
we had to can them, one and all. And sow my wife does all the cooking, re
joicing that the gang is gone, and I, beshrewing and gadzooking, keep up the
fires and mow the lawn. About my household tasks I scuttle, so gay I carol
songs aloud, and I'm convinced that I can buttle as well as any hireling
proud. My wife is singing "Annie Eooney" and other good old songs of yore,
oeaore song writers ail grew looney, as sue mops up tue kitchen floor, with
out hired help my heart is bubbling with harmless mirth, that makes a hit:
my days so more are filled with troubling for fear some haughty ttiM wilij
hiui. 4iic ucs ug uuxlcu, ujc uicdu is v&&jt tc msAi comes smoKing irom
me stove, out xm so giaa is leeung groggy, Because we tired that grouchy)
drove. I do not care two jots or tittles what people say of us is tows; far
better live os ruised vittles thas wilt beneath a servant's frows.
Copyright by George Matthew Adams. WALT MASON.
The Funny Man At The Bathing Beach
By TTELEX ROWLAND.
II THAT is so trying to the spirit, and
TY so
FUHNT MAN tn the water?
Pebbles in the shoe are painful
but they are merciful and tender be
side one of these.
Tea, of all the terrors and the
pests he la the most to be dreaded.
He rareth the timid damsel into the
water aad offereth to teach her to
swim: he droppeth her beneath the
water and is fined with glee at her
struggles.
And great are Via ha-has. when she
swalloweth half the water!
He "spatterettV water Into the eyes,
of the unwary infant, and Joyfully
dousefh the roatden whose complexion
"oonuth off" and" whose marcel wave
Is NOT permanent.
He playeth. "crab" beneath the
water, aad grabbeth the toes of the
unsuspecting, causing them to shriek
for his delight.
He Is SO coquettish !
He rockets the row-boat until the
damsels cry oat in terror and amuseth
the multitude by tipping the canoe
for diversion.
Behold, could anything be "funnier"-
Verily, verily, he is the Peter Pan
of the water, the eternal rsms.ll
boy," who bath never grown up. nor
tost sis joy in the Practical Joke'
Lo. his "wit" is heavier than hotel
pastry, and harder to swallow than an
actress's press-notice. Yet. when the
persecuted victim cryeth out in pro
test, he rnocketh him with cheerful
ha-has, saying:
"Oh, be a sport b not a Joy
killer r
Alas, many sorrows have we with
us. but tne water-wit o'ershadow
eth them all.
For a little sense of humor, in the
WRONG place. Is a terrible thing!
copyright, isrt, by the Wheeler Syn
dicate, Inc.
I-
i unuj unut-uuns s
From Everywhere I
What times demand Is a portable
front porch, Chicago Daily News.
There'll be a fine Job lot of gener
als for hire when Villa retires, Co
lombia Record.
When a man marries for meney
he seeks a good figure more this a
pretty face. Sioux city Journal.
If thatfabled golden fleece exsted
today it would be worth Its weight in
ooL Greenville (S. C) Piedmont.
Lost A small coin purse contain
ing IS gold piece asd an eveslng
gown. Call US PiMr fv.
Gazette.
These luminous wrist watches are
w buvu at aii to two classes of so
ciety burglars and lovers. Colum
bia state
Every once In awhile it iiunmn
clearer that Germany accepted the
' .. t-rt, PrSy
ONE day. what! Uncle Wlggily was
hopping along the path through
the woods, having been to the
store to get some moisawea for Nurse
Jane, the bunny rabbit gentleman
saw Susie LlttletaU. his little rabbit
niece, walking slowly along. And
Susie looked very, very sad.
What's the matter, Saaler asked
Uncle Wlggily, as he hopped along
beside her "Did you have to stay in
after school"
Why. Uncle Wlggily' How you
talk" exclaimed Susie. "Too know
there isn t any school now' If a va
cation time' But oh dear' I do wish I
had one' All the other girls and boys
hate them, but I haven't any."
Any what" asked the bunny
gentleman. "Do you mean lolypops.
Susie'' If you do I can put some of
Nurse Jane's molasses on the end of
a stick, and hat will be almost os
good as a loliypop "
No thank you. it Isn't a loliypop
I m wanting." answered Susie, "though
I would like some molasses on a
stick. But I wish I had a wooden
Poop to roll around as BiUle and
Johnnie Bushytall, the squirrel boys,
have '
Oh don't let a little thing like that
fuss you'" laughed Uncle Wlggily.
I can easily make yon a rolling
hoop, Susie, and also take this mo
lasses to Nurse Jane is time for her
to make an apple pie"
'But where in the woods will you
find a barrel to get a hoop off for
mo"' asked Susie.
1 don't seed a barrel,' answered
the bunny gentleman. 11 make you
a hoop out of a piece of wild grape
vine."
So with his sharp teeth the bunny
gentleman gnawed a long round
piece of wild grape vine off some that
was climbing a tree not far away.
With strings of grass Uncle Wlggily
fastened the two ends of the vine
together, making a round hoop of
it. Just like the letter a
"There you are, Susie," laughed the
bunny, and then Susie took a stick,
and began rolling her hoop along the
woodland path. Around and around
asd along and along rolled the hoop.
"Hurray'" cried Susie. "This Is lots
of fun! Thank you. Uncle Wlggily."
"Pray do not mention It," answered
the bunny with a. low and polite bow
of his pink, twinkling nose as he
picked up the molasses Jug.
Uncle Wlggily west back to his hol
low stump bungalow, asd soos he
was sitting on the side porah sniffing
the air which was filled with de
licious lovely smells, as Nurse Jane
baked the apple dumplings.
Along toward evening, whes It was
getting dark. Uncle Wlggily hopped
down off the porch.
"Where are you going?" asked
Nurse Jane Fuxiy Wnzzy, his musk
rat lady housekeeper.
"Oh, I Just thought T hop over to
Susie Llttletalls, house, asd see hew
she likes the hoop I made for her to
day," answered the bunny. "Do you
want to come, Narse Jane?"
"No, thank yon," answered the
muskrat lady housekeeper. "Bnt you
may take Susie a piece of the straw
berry shortcake I made this after
noon." "Thank you," spoke Uncle Wlggily.
So he hepped off, with the piece of
orange loagcake tied on top of his
tall. sUk hat, but ha had not gone
very far before he met Susie Little
tail, coming through the woods
"Oh. Uncle Wlggily!' cried the lit
tle bunny girL "What do you think-
My nice hoop that you made tor me
out of a grape viae, fcs goaer
"Gone? Gone where" asked Mr
Longears. "Did oae of the animal
boys take K."
TJo." answered Soslc. "But I was
rolling it Just a little while ago. aad
it went in the bushes, aad In a dark
place, asd I can't find It I've looked
all over everywhere for tt but I can't
find my niae hoop!"
TU help yon look," said Uncle
WtBgOy.
So he helped the little rabbit girl
look for her hoop, but it was not to
be found and Susie was feeling quite
sad.
"Never mind.- said the bunny gen
tleman. "Ill make you another hoop.
"But rd rather have that one"
Susie exclaimed, "fa used to that
one and I like it best."
hen we'll try to find It," said
Uncle WlggUy. So he and Susie
looked some more, but for some time
jW"" 3Qif?irfsfjE
Iff eBfcsjC a s flj
Hurray?
cried Susie. This Is lets
of fun.
they saw nothing. Then, all at once,
the little rabbit girl cried:
"Oh. look. Uncle WIzglly, see a
hoop of fire over in the grass," and
she pornted to where, nsder a tree
there shimmered aad shone a round
ring as though a lot of sparklers
were going off at once.
"Hal I se what it Isl" cried Uncle
Wlggily. "That is your grape vlue
hoop, Susie. It rolled In the grass
and a lot of Itghtsfng bugs are sit
ting on It. psaylng ring around the
roele! We have found your hoop'"
And so they had. Over In the grass
It was, and the lightning bugs were
seated on it, playing ring around the
rosie oa it But they flew off when
they heard it was Susies hoop, and
Uncle Wlggily made the fireflies an
other, and then he took Susie home
and gave her the orange pie. So, if
the coal bin doesn't try to come up
from down cellar to find out why the
gas stove Is daneing around the
kitchen, 1711 tell you next about
Uncle Wlggily and Saram!es banjo
Copyright, ISM, by MeClure News
paper Syndicate.
THE young lady across the way says
A there's so excuse for having a dog
pedigreed if you give him a bath often
enough asd use good strong soap.
pease treaty "with reservations.'
Durham Sun.
We don't suppose Los Angeles
would take kindly to a proposition to
change her name to Quaker City.
uoiumous inspaicn.
Full strength beer is on tap again
In Germany, but It costs a lot to get
there, and then there are the Ger
mans. Boston Globe.
A candidate must be out of leek
this year whose grown daughter tells
him she has another use for the front
porcn. auiwauKee Journal.
After this, if a fund raisin- rim.
paign Is to prosper. It will have to be
known by some other name than a
" is Angeies Times.
The fact that California bank de
POStts show an Increase nrobablv in,
dleates that somebody must be going
"""" ou&ttr.-ocxainenio union.
D Malone Is running for governor
'" New York on the third party ticket.
In November they'll change his in
itials to 1 Melon,. lVTtM, 10
If gasoline does go to 50 cents a
7fJuu' "" result will be that there
will be a lot of people buying gaso
line at so cants a gallon. New York
Mall.
East Realizes El Paso Is Center Of Big Trade Territorv
Rvrc-r-ow MoZr M-n,. C...: r TV., . . "' .
xjro cm io.c inwucy oezijiig kciddiz okws por market
'THERE is no city in the country
J. that has a brighter future than
El Paso." said S. R. Lewis, renre-
sentatjve of a Kansas City whole
sale house. "Eastern business con
cerns are rapidly coming to recog
nize 131 Paso's rosv nrosoects and
regard this city as the center of the
great trade territory of the south
west, That El Paso will be a great
metropolis In a few years Is a cer
tainty The city's remarkable show
ing in the census would seem to
prove that the city Is striding for
ward at so mean pace. With condl
lions apparently settling In Mexico
and indications good for an era of
prosperity south of the Rio Grande,
El Paso'S CTOWth is sure to train An
added Impetus. One thing Is certain
tbe big interests of the east and
middle west have turned their eyes
to El Paso, realising thr thim nln..
with its wonderful advantages of lo
cation, is experiencing a development
unsurpassed by any other city In the
country."
"In recent years several kinds of
fur, formally of so little value as to
offer so Inducement to the trapper.
have been raised in nrica am" Ann.
sequentiy collecting them has been
made profitable" said J. H. Murphy
"Rabbit pelts, which are extensively
used by hat makers, are among these
vnrauns. una eastern concern has
announced that It will need 19.M0.
0W rabbit skins during 19J0. and It
desired as far as possible to secure
them from American sources. This
Is an indication of a market that
should Interest many a boy. This
fall and winter, dried, cased rabbit
skins will probably bring a reason
ably good return. They are sold by
the pound. Many beys can readily
acquire in a short time a number of
skins which will net them a tidy
sum and, in addition, they will have
the pleasure of trapping or of rais
ing rabbits."
I got a card from the postotflce
the other day advising me that I
had a piece of mall held there for 2
cents postage." said Carl R. Smith.
"I took the card to the general de
livery window and the clerk told me
to take it to the Inquiry window.
The clerk at the inquiry window told
me she would not take gcod United
Kabibble Kabaret.N
CorTrtrbtTl&sa internaHoaat JTeaicra Setiti. lac Bsxliterocl V sTPaicot'C-Qfii.
.Aiy lAOSBAND SM5''A3S'-iDriRy"'tte WAStRlED
States monev for n 9-Mn . -..a
that I would have to get a stamp and
., ,fc wiw me oara. she dl
r?ctd " th" stamp windows I
Stood In the Staron winrfAw- lln f., is
minutes and (then bought a book of
-crai stamps, men I waited is line
again at the inquiry window. Then
the clerk of the inquiry window toM
me she couldn't take a I -cent stamp
because the amount due on the piece
of mail was only 1 cent a mistake
having been made la the notifica
tion. She said she couldn't take the
money, either, and referred me back
to the stamp window. The line at
this window was getting longer and
longer I looked at the line, then
looked at her and saw the piece
of mail I was after was only an oil
circular, so I Just left it with Uncle
Sam. If uncle's business is carried
on inside Ilka the Insiders make us
carry os ours on the outside so won
der the outsiders kick at the insid
ers." "The cooperation of the public in
eliminating mishaps at the munici
pal bathing beach In Washington
park will be invited," said city coun
cilman Martin Sweeney. Parents
whose children take advantage of the
pool can do much by safety first
warnings. Swimmers can aid by call
ing the attention of the management
to any Inexperienced swimmers tak
ing too Kreat risks, narticnlftrlv in
the cases of children. The city will
have done all It can In the provision
of safety devices before the pool is
opened There will be sufficient
protection for any person who does L
not aeuoerateiy take foolhardy
chances"
. . 3
About Broadway Plays And Players
By BIDE DUDLEY.
NB
BW YORK, April IS. Jacob P. Ad
ler, dean of the Jewish actors. Is
to star Ssvloek airaln. Max K-
WOser, his manager, announces that
Mr. Adler win be seen in the role os
Broadway within a few weeks. Mr.
WJIner is busy engaging a cast for
this "Merchant of Venice" company
and he tells us all players but Mr.
Adler will speak English. The Shy
!oek role, however, will be spoken is
Yiddish. This looks like a novelty,
but it Is apt to prove highly unsat
isfactory to Broadway audiences.
Why make anybody jsess what the
star of a play is saying?
TJ3 EVER. THUS
They used to call him worthless be
cause he hated work. He'd very sel
dom, labor unless he ceuldnt shirk.
His clothes were old and shiny, bsti
uiue aa no care, ura uooazernui&in'
Wilson they called him everywhere.
He didn't like to borrow, but when he
did, he'd pay. He had a smile for
people, and had it every day. The
children used to love him. and all the
dogs he met for Goodforsuthin' Wil
son had Joyous barks, yon bet!
On Christmas morals' always a
poor child, mebbe two, would find
some little trinket from Wilson in
his shoe. He passed away one eve
nln down in his shanty, small, and
Goodfemutala's mourners were kids
and dogs, that's all Soon after he
was burled (the county paid for it)
the peple got to thlnkin' about him.
Just a bit. And now a headboard
stand In' above the poor old cuss says,
"Goodfernathin Wilson was good
enough for us."
ARXISS AT THE PARK
George Arliss will begin an en
gagement in Booth Tarklngton's play.
r-aiueain. at toe rare theater on
this evening, under the management
of George C Tyler. In the support
Inlg company will be Julia Dean, El
sie Mackay. Sidney Toler, Carl An
thony. B. G. Robinson. Hubert WUke.
Bmil Hoch, MaBart Klppen and John
Webster.
WHOA, LEW!
Lew Fields, who, by the way, has
a real hit Is The Poor Little Bits
Qtrl" at the Central, has appelated
htmeelf general understudy for all the
male roles.
NBW FARCE
Wilson Colllson made sit debnt as
a -New York producer when his fare
comedy. "The Oirl With the Carmine
upe, opened at the Punch and Judy
theater. The east Includes Dallas
Welxord, Wilfred Clarke and a dosen
others.
EDGAR COMMUMOATHS
Edgar Mela of the Worcester Eve
ning Guette notifies as that Cocaine
Brothers have a candy stand in his
city. After sllppUng us that dope he
asserts that Twin Brothers ODerate a
carpet cleaning foundry os Coleman i
avenue, new xorc very good, Ed
die, but we knew a mas in Denver
named James Brothers.
INEZ STAGES DtXCBS '
Ines Courtney, who lacks several
seconds of being as big as a minute.
nj oean staging some or tne dances
In the two "Little WhontMr" com
panies. Ines was in the show last
season and knows the dances so well
she can play them os the ukulele,
gossd?
William A. Brady has engaged
Florence Gerald, Louis Frohoff and
Clarence Rockefeller for "immodest
Vlolet.-
Juanlta Fletcher Is to have a role
in "Little Hiss Charity.' 'opening soos
at the Belmont theater
George E. Mack is to have a place
in the cast of "Blue Bonnet," the new
Shubert production.
William Seabury has returned to
the Xew Brighten is his revue. "Frl
voMcs." A THOUGHT FOR TODAY
"De gal whot kin make good
bread," says Uncle Bpfa. "doan em
rally hab much trubble findln' er
man tar make it f er."
FOOLISHSfEST
Said Mrs. Zeke Jones to Miss Pew,
"We'll make a great singer of Suet
Oh she7!! have high tones,
Z tell Papa Janes,
That some day she!! sing clear to U.
FROM THE CHESTNUT TnEE
Father My son, you're a bad tgt
Son That can't be. A moment ago
you called ma fresh.
The women of far off Zanzibar are
learning to play tennis.
Ocop BY l fc"t- IsTlW
r sgl '?sz iiiUii
LOS MOOS jest happened V etsmbla
on a bottle o' "white mnte' f da7
as' broke his arm is three places. Oss
good thing about beis' a tightwad
yau font have f appear before a cam
paign isvestigatis' committee.
Ceprrlsht. National Newapspir Service,
EL PASO HERALD
DEDICATED TO THE SERVICE OI THE PEOPLE THAT NO GOOD CAUSE SHAIX
tiaws n MmnflUJ, aUlUJ iiUi XaU Jle,a. .1U1 ACUhASJCs teUsrrU9ikX)o
U. U slater, edRor nd contrttfijur wncr. ba directed The Herald tar S3 rears.
I. C. Wllmartb 1 muarer od G A AUrtla to mjuaajjlajj editor.
MEMBBS ASSOCIATED PBES3, AMERICAN NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ASSOC1A-
1IU.1 aU AUUi llUMaAU VE Alat.blMslaU..
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS la udoitTtty ntltled to tb tn tor psbttcatloa ef all newa
uiiciiei CTcoiiea 10 n or not suwtwim cx-fMuttni u IBa pager aaa also tsa local
nwi psoltsaed breln.
AN INDEPENDENT DA1LT N3WSPAPBR Tfea El Paso Herald was eataUlilatd fa
jaaxco. issi. tdi si raso iseraia iBa-sro-w am, oy aMorpuea ana traeCMJiexi. Tlia
Diilr New. Tea Tottfraph, Tfca Telegram. Tbe Trttune, The Graphic, Tb 8aa
The AdYerttser. The Independent. Tne JovnuJ. Tne Republican, The BaUetta.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION Dally Herald ta Arlsaoa. New Mexico, Texas. CaUXorn-a
" wu Atsiisi, pw avBu, "" r j-. . o u oucr eta tea, per man a,
SI., per year, $i.o, Wednesday and Week-End issues will be mailed tor llfl-i
per jear. Week-End editions only, per Tear. X.tO
THIRTY-NINTH TEAR or PUBLICATION Superior exclusive featsraa and complete
eaves msi ujr 4tMu-i-ti,K aTA7-r -;witru n iit .uu opfcieii vwreejOnCestS COTefiBt
Arlsona, New Mexico, Weit Texas. Mexico. Washington, D C and New Torfc.
Entered at the Poetolflce In X2 Paso. Texas, as second class matter.