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t ™mrm.*g&'-g*o^-xmm^ ****#?**** ***M —ftja_lint_tiii j™—"* MAW**W mmmgmAm''*qßU nilAMrf,nn",nnt Office Main 788, WHI I |« \circttlatlon Dept. Main 783, *-'■* V*l Editorial . Dept. Main 1 704. OFFICK—77B-778 COMMERCE BT.'X Story About a Tooth -; ' Ray Cox, a 13-year-old Ohio boy. shot himself through the nose while trying to shoot out an aching tooth, and the newspaper wits are making fun about it Sounds silly, too, doesn't it? But, hold on, Mr. Man! you were just as silly when a boy. y X-. Do you remember that time when you had the whole Second Class, Primary Grade, following you about in envy of that loose "milk tooth" that was Jumping about In your JawT Of course you do. Why, doggone lt, you were so proud over that tooth which the other boys didn't have that you fairly strutted home from school and you counted that boy blessed above his fellows whom you "let feel how loose lt was." XiXyy'' .- _, _■'. Silly? : Why, on the way home, Tommy Smith persuaded you that the painless way to pull a tooth was to tie one end of a string to the tooth and the other end to a stone and let Tommy Smith give the stone a good throw. Remember how that stone raised you on four toes with a yell, and came untied and left you with that tooth lust dancing the can-can in your face? 'Course you do. . And when you got home holding your Jaw with both hands, Sis ter Mary convinced you that the only painless way to draw a "milk tooth" was to tie one end of a string to it and t'other end to a door knob, and let Sister Mary slam the door when you weren't looking, knd you know mighty well that you looked, and when the jerk came, and that tooth still stuck, you opened your face with roars so that you couldn't look at anything. Silly? Why, it wasn't an hour later before Brother Willie came ln and converted you to the belief that the only way to palnlesssly pull a "milk tooth" was to tie one end of a string to lt, t'other end to a brick, and let Brother Willie drop the brick Into the well with out your knowledge. Remember how the heaven and the earth imacked together when that string snapped and that tooth went to putting In extra licks? 'Course you do! And you kicked little Willie, kicked little Willie plenty and promiscuous, and mother came out, grabbed you by the arm and started for that awful place, the den tist's, where you knew a strong man with horrible pinchers stood yearlng for sore teeth to come along. And lo! on the way, that tooth dropped out, and you fain would gambol like a lambkin that had escaped the slaughter. Silly? Why, man. you were twice as silly as that Ohio boy, for It Is a fact that one can get rid of a tooth by firing a rifle bullet against It, while the schemes you once tried were all based on credu lity. Age'gives us wisdom only as we progress thorugh failure and suffering. Alas! a whole lot of us are even yet trying to get rid of what hurts us by tying an old piece of string to it and letting others do the rest. S Woodrow Guilty, All Right Col. Henri Watterson repudiates Woodrow Wilson. Col. Harvey pulls down the Wilson banner from Harper's Weekly. Col. Melville Stone fills the Associated Press with accounts of other colonels, majors, sergeants and privates who suddenly don't like Woodrow. It looks like "Insurgency," and Big Business chortles over the idea that Wilson boom ls petering out, for Big Business truly, honestly, sacredly fears Woodrow Wilson most of all. Brer Watterson puts the charge against Wilson In these words: "I have little room to doubt that Wilson is not a man who makes common cause with his political associates, or is deeply sen sible of bis political obligations." Now, we haven't even "the little room to doubt" that makes Watterson fold his tent and refuse the nomination to Wilson. On the contrary, we are convinced that Woodrow Wilson is the very fellow to refuse to "make common cause with his political associ ates" as against the common cause of the common people. We don't 'believe that Woodrow has a particle of sense of "political obliga tions," or needs any. Nor can we work up any tears because of Woodrow's alleged shortcomings ln these respects. - On the contrary, we love him for his kicking of "political associates" and admire him because he seems to have no sense of political obligation to anyone, save the plain people, meaning us nnd about 90,000,000 others. Just now the democratic party seems to be nilin' with that old time trouble, colonel's colic. Too many colonels in her midst. Cols. Watterson and Harvey and Hearst and others are taking up matters where Cols. Brlce, Oliver Payne, Whitney and McLean left off, trying to lead a great party named democratic around by the nose. Not Corruption, Just Investment "No evidence of corruption," says the U. S. senate sub-commit tee, in the case of Senator Stephenson; notwithstanding that the office cost Stephenson a sum 'way up toward $200,000. The evidence simply showed the high cost of a senatorshlp, and the case leaves in our mouths that bad-tasting question —Why are rich men willing to pay such vast sums fora chance to make the laws for us? OBSERVATIONS COUNCILMAN BI TTFIELD of North Plalnfield, N. J., wants worklngmen excluded from living in his town. Says it costs $26 a year to school a child, and worklngmen average three children per family. If Buttfleld studies economics hard enough, he'll likely get around to solving the problem by killing off the children. AGRICULTURAL depatrment has classified 245 different kinds of cheese beside limburger, which Is in a class by itself. WE gather from Mr. Woodrow Wilson's estimate that Cousin Bill Taft is honest and patriotic but almighty stupid. FRISCO society is to paralyze N. Y. society with an oriental ball at which Mrs. Templeton Crocker will wear mauve trousers, her ma pink trousers, Jennie Crocker green trousers and the rest of society trousers to match its complexion. If those oriental trousers tackle the oriental "turkey trot" dance, It'll be worth fine and Imprisonment to break into that ball. ♦-> ' BRYAN ls North Dakota democrats' second choice. It's the blooming second choices that keep the situation all scrambled up. WICKERSHAM announces that the objections to Hook's ap pointment as U. S. supreme Judge are groundless. Hook feels the same way, which ought to be sufficient endorsement for Bill Taft One corporation lawyer more or less on that bench won't give us a Harlan. If It would, you can bet that Taft would duck it. SAN JOSE jury has decided that a stableful of jackasses Is not A disturber of the peace of society. If you ever heard a San Jose society girl manual labor a piano, you'd know why that Jury was •heritable toward jackasses. OOATES CO., the thread-makers, declared a dividend of 35 per cent ID 1911. THE MARKETS ■*****■** Ammmmmm ,~~^___^^ _. _ a j >. Washington creamery batter not expect to have much Eastern flame down in price yesterday, butter until some time ln March' ■astern butter is Just as scarce Eggs also took a drop of I c nt M It was yesterday. Jobbers do yesterday. PRICKS PAIS PRODUCER. Apples—sl.s3o2 a box. "" Beef—loc. * Lemons— 3 03.75. Pork9® 10c. Cranberries—lo® 12c. Onionssl.2s® 1.50 I Oranges—s2® 2.75. 'Oysters— $7.50 per sack i Potatoessl.Bool.so. Clams—s2.so a sack Sweet Potatoes —$3 03.50 owt. Crabs—slol.7s do* Beans—3 0 «c. ' • Batter Crntps $1 sack. Washington Creamery gift ttuce—sl.2s crate. $80, Cabbagel hi 01% c. . Eastern—3l 8 2 'Spinach, 1 1-1«. ':_£«». Chicken—l4a. Washington Ranch —30c Editorial Paae of €ftc Caeoroa Cimes "I hope you won't be hard on me, Judge," he said. "You see, I was under the influence of liquor when I done It." "• "You seem to have been under the Influence of something equal-; ly bad when you studied grammar. During the spare moments that | you are going to have, permit yourself to indulge in judicious study of the construction of simple sentences. Here is one to begin with —sixty days." ;; HIS OWN PROVISION ' ''.X' The committee had called to suggest government by commission to Nero, and that eminent ruler listened attentively and smiled ap provingly. *"\' "lt looks good to me," he said, "providing, of course, I am the commission." Whereupon the committee laughed diplomatically and withdrew. —Cleveland Plain Dealer. '". I ■&"mmt .m m m S» mmm ■■■ mm J\mjl— BVIBERTOK Wilfl X> Mr. Jack Frost is a nice chap to know, When you've got a warm house to abide in, And It's jolly, no doubt, to go out ln the snow When you have a warm cutter to ride ln. But down In the slums when his hand's on the pans He isn't a blessing—he's only a bane. Mr. Jack Frost's a society swell. • To the rich he is Joyous and cheerful, But down where the shivering ghetto-folks dwell • His visage is bitter and fearful. When empty the coal bin and empty the purse His laugh is a snarl and his glance is a curse. When plenty Is yours and your body well fed Mr. Jack Forst Is your crony, But when you are down, why the snob cuts you dead With a glance that Is icy and stony! He blesses and blights with the very same breath. To Wealth be ls Life— and to Poverty, Death! LITTLE IRRITATIONS OF LIFE OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE JUDICIAL ADVICE , PIGS'f Aityffiii& HEARD AT THE RUSH HOUR. "Move a little faster, please! 'Way up in the car! ' Come on, there, don't block the I . door, . Whod'y'u think you are?' 1 "All aboard, take this car north! j 'Let 'em off there, you! And forget that fresh talk, iboob, ' Gimme something new." "You want a West-side car, you say? ■ Just listen to the gink; Why don't you stop and think?" I The conductor mopped his sweaty ', brow , And (balance on his toes, . ] "Sometimes thees runs are fierce," i he said. "But that's the way it goes." i i "If ever I get off this car ' I'm golnig to find a job On some deserted island Where there is no street car molb." HAD SEEN THEM. TeacherXow can anyone tell me where the stars come from? "Please, ma'am," answered the: tiniest of the class, "they come from the sidewalk." "All life originally came from a microscopic dot," claim the scien tists. There are still a lot of peo ple who haven't risen above the period. A New York man left his wife a handsome estate provided she did not take the advice of her relatives "In financial or other af fairs." It's a ciuch that man had a mother-in-law. The Tamplco, Mexico, oil fields produced 100,000 barrels of oil ' dally. Hut that's nothing compar , ed to the amount of "salve" a few good politicians can produce in the same length of time. There was a man and he struck a L match On the wall In a powder mill, And now the mill (and match , he struck And the man are very still. > A cannon's report has been heard at a distance of 14 6 miles. But that wasn't our own Joe Can |non. When he made a report to • the house the whole United States heard it. Cigars are part of an Italian I soldier's dally rations. They ought to be able to smoke out an ' enemy all right. SPEAKING OF SMOKE. Youi oan have your gold-tipped Meerschaum And your polished Calabash. I'll take my little clay duglne Which cost five cents in cash. Tins FALSE ALARM. Often In the silly night a creak ing door gives us a fright. THE TRUAXT. I tried to run away from things, I wandered far and wide, Myself was at my side. It was no gowhere'er I went UPLIFT STUFF. Bunch your boosts, boy. Don't get In the hajblt of loaf lug in your own shadow. Memory gives man an altar. Love never suspends dividends. Courtesy 5s an Invitation to others to 'be nice to you. The man who is sure of his opinion seldom fights for it. No man's destiny comes to him full grown. Prominent women assert that! the trouble is that marriages take; place before the parties are well i enough acquainted with each! other. But a longer acquaintance would make marriage impossible I nine cases out of tan. Some men don't keep up with tho times any better than an en cyclopedia. I Farmers don't have the fun i hey used to have In the days when the automobile was afraid of a crumpled-horn cow. Slavery was supposed to have been abolished 40 years ago, but folks can still (buy books on the installment .plan. A man always feels a hit su perior when some homeless pup follows him home. And well he nay. Self preservation is a law of nature, and many people know what to preserve themselves In. No man believes ta compensa tions when he spills a bag of ap ples on the street car. . Red Cross Ball Blue makes the laundrese happy, make* clothes whiter than snow. If you wish beautiful, cle^r white clothes, use 'ted Cross Ball Blue. At all good ;rocers. / *•♦ Shur On Eye Glasses are Best. HAVES 4th Floor Fidelity Bldg. Will Taft Turn Sloan Loose On Arizona Again? Why State Cries Recall of Judges PRESCOTT, Aril., Jan. 27. — The war ls not over In Arisona. The people have won their consti tution, secured statehood and elected a progressive government. But there still remains that men ace —the federal judge, who can, by a stroke of the pen, wipe out half the benefits of this constitu tion, and in spite of their dear bought victories - keep the people ln bondage to Big Business. Big Business long ago laid Its wires and got the promise that THEIR kind of a ma» should be appointed. It is common knowl edge in Arizona that Richard Sloan, the present governor, ls slated for this Judgeship by Presi dent Taft. Sloan has the "rail road mind" and the "mining mind." This danger explains the sud den demand for the "advisory re call of federal Judges" which at tained such popularity In the re- Abort ffeople One of the most popular of the matrons In Greek official society ' at Athens is : Mme. Coromll- j as, the daughter ' of former Sena tor Cockrell of. . Missouri. She 1 I married the' present Grecian . minister of fin ance when he ' was at Wash ington as the • representat I v c : of the king of i ' Greece. She is one of the few j . American girls • ' .who have made ;: good at foreign' Mine. Coroinllas capitals. • « * Such a spendthrift is John D. Archbold Standard Oil multi millionaire. He gave the church of his native village a $100 organ. ♦ • * James Kennedy was sentenced to jail for one year in a New York court for stealing an umbrella on a rainy day. TODAY IN HISTORY Jan. 27, 1862, Just 50 years ago today. President Abraham Lincoln dissatis fied with the Inactivity of the army of the Po tomac, Issued his general war order Xo. 1, fix ing Washing ton's birthday, Feb. 22, as the day for a gener al movement of the land and naval forces of the United States. Of course, Washington's birthday was a holiday then, but the coun try where the soldiers were going had seceded and national holidays were not observed by the army. How I Got Back My Strength (By A. WELLMAN.) ■ "Those are the worst symptoms of weakness." said "I will heartily recommend your appliance to any Dr. Soakem, after I had told nim of my condition. man suffering from weakness, and you have my per- I had come to his office hoping to get something mission to make any use of this letter you wish, that would relieve me of the suffering which took all "B. x. BEALE pleasure out of my life. My back was weak and pain- "Prop. 'The Arden," Anaheim, CaL" ful, my head ached, I was nervous and had no energy • » • • or ambition. The loss of power was sapping my vital- "I am happy to tell you that for some time past lty, and I knew that I was getting worse every day. I have been completely cured of the rheumatism I Hera la some medicine that will had ln my legs. The pains I suf fix you up, said Dr. Soakem. "This _-*__. __(w*3V. • fered were very severe, due to) stimulant will give you energy and __«_W_S3W ©sfei<^L exposure. I also had lumbago, take away that tired, debilitated J£l,3Bm4m mCmLmSk. and that, too. has been cured. I feeling of which you complain. The ._fi_i_A T___fm would not have missed the euro other Is for your nerves; lt will stu- ' AJAkMA. «_____. Klectra-Vlta haa effected for pefy them so you can't feel any pain. t__aßfl__E_r_l Km five times what the appliance "You will find directions on wfi Mi 'A ___*33__L cost mc." i the bottles, and after you mPW^.X ML iM c- F' WAOKNBI.AAT,, have used all the medicines WkMAW^lS^ir-^mß^mM^Wk Sisters, Oreg. you can have the bottles re- ..^oM^^^^^gm^SasM^Wn^oM>^l * * * * filled at the drug store." ____*&P*£!_______mF i iiWTff7_____flT_irl fOl' Will »ay that I am feeling * * * A^si^^mS^mS^^^^^S^^^3&mSo much better the past few weeks. Needless to say, I mad* MX^^^^^^^^^^^^^SmalmM^ I ara rearing the Klectra-Vlta. many trips to the drug store ■!MW«!feit«'gt««»l^^^ from three to four hours a day getting those bottles refilled. MI-^M^^^S^-" yW^^k , and think It is do In a good work. But the medicine "fixed ma mmMjm--mmo^rif«lm^al I feel sure that in a few weeks more I can up" all right. The first thins; MmajLß^^^o^^iSSS^^ discard it entirely." W. B. WALSH, it did was to put my stomach I Jft^Bt_>^-a^\W; ~:<'g **■*ti Repawn St., Portland, Oreg. out of «sear, and my food m?*mo&::.m<'ihi4&mo!&Mr-,iJ.Z>4 m ', ," wouldn't digest properly. Ew°a3 K|PH X h"d USd i-,„ *tra,Vlta * Just thirty day- Ihe smell of tha dope was ■»§&• , -_flr^ *.WSt. '""M Klectra-Vlta just thirty days nauseating, and the horrible MAgEAmWMfffm ,y-°xMMty'?MA when my strength returned and I found my taste It left in my mouth was mMllmMmMm'-. ** 3 self free from all pain and weakness. My worse than v ,a o ga ave pain. __ »_£_-■ .>;'*--t x.y?y-xXI nerve, »-.,» stronger mm* ... power ,- The stimulant gave me en- " W^^S^Mf nerves grew stronger and my power In ergy for a while, but after I _§i_L3_ Xli 'X:. '* creased from the very first day under the had taken it for a few days I MmsX-X * • ____! strengthening, invigorating Influence of elec had to double tha dosa to get tha __________*i_fa____?* *________■ trictiir t „.„, ,„ „„„ ,i„ v . , „ .„, ,^,„. same effect, and it soon failed to do aWSBASK^MAM .in. l want to s,iy '' *. "I , u,at Klco even that. im&SmWfilSISMm7m?3A tia Vita Is not to be confounded with old i The nerve medicine relieved all RRY^^tuX'AMfa style electrio belts, Faradio batteries and P al? » r tonlTo.V ll.'Jow a.. ti m"; BSSS^t-m-'i similar contrivances. It la a self-charged L Hlt ' n ,f'i^,',. l?,*. l\lXi ir ' l fOUn f*AEffmlS&*oml body battery, which makes Its own power ?/v inff T 2v»rv *m?l* "n\ 0Xi a "*''' r i^ffflfflTlWFr I continuously. There ls nothing to do but 1&, „. ,lmK..,Z"lmnm i' 1 fi? Tm*C- Me&S^IARmW&m adjust It correctly and turn nn the current. ether, aa tha pain came back each lmsM:(*MMaeMm which enters the nerves In a mild, soothing '"" • • • r *.i'___i___________r' Wsj'jr'- " atreami It does not shock nor produce any i *_., where m would have ended if I had p ,ie,i at unpleasant sensation. Klectra-Vlta 'ft do£ m„td don t know where I would t have ended if I the not Interna while you work and tlTa use of It does not discovered an advertisement of Electra-Vita. the not interfere with your work or business modern electric treatment. I immediately wrote tor „_,_ _—-•-._« — __-— _.____«.__ the free book explaining this method of treatment, GET THIS FREE BOOK and I must say that It Is one of the most Interesting T _„,.,, _, ,„7,_, .7. ..7^7 ■Lv 7. -c' ' v'v/~ _ ._, works I have aver read. It la written in plain lan- ,_.' T?. uld adlae, all sufferers to call or write for the guage, and dealt with human ilia in a sensible way. i"I ?,?;, I"T, "°. k' Hr. h,c&Jf Ui ht w Electra-Vlta cures The Information It contain! ls worth a great deal to ? n(J, -? st,,(. 1 treatment. This book contains pictures of any sufferer we" built robust men and women, illustrating the . After looking over the book I was convinced that ? th °d applying Electra-Vlta. It Is free to those Klectra-Vita was Juat what I needed, so I decided to „ '?, _'___, th'a coupon. Cut out tha coupon now and call at tha office of the Electra-Vlta Co. and have m?, 11 '} J y,O" :an l cal __, a talk with their consulting physician. Consultation free. Office hours 9 a. m. to 6 p. m. I found the doctor only too willing to give me all }„ .dr"_o day and Saturday evenings until 8; Sunday, tha Information desired. Ha showed me a large num- 10 to Hi '. - 1 ber of testimonials from people who had been cured rpv,__ T_il__„i.__. vri*.m /"i_ t\ in by Electra-Vlta, and all praised the treatment highly. 1116 XileCtra-Ylta CO., Dept. 3. Ir^m 7.w, n {?{T.n[,? en ** known for y ears Here 8 04 Majestic 111 rig* Seattle. W«U. ar"l*a\Tu..dfcra-V.taw.th excellent results In a tra^'book" 11 "* PreP,"d' '""' f"8 ' 9°-page ' "IU" ease of prostatic trouble, complicated with weakness and losses. I consider my cure all the more remarka- NAME .. bla because I am It years old and had been troubled * IS this way for If yeara. I tried all kinds of treat- — ments and medicines during that long period, with I STREET.. ..• - no benefit whatever, the system remaining dormant .....••• " Sad Weak until Electra-Vlta brought new life and I ' manhood* ' TOWN . . .** < Entered at the postoffice at | Tacoma, Wash., as second-class matter. Telegraphic Berrlce of United Press Association.> - •-i Published livery Evening Except Sunday by the Tacoma Times Pobilshliy Oompany. cent campaign. It is a move to get some kind of control by the people. , Sloan served as a district fed- eral judge in Arizona from 1889 to 19 09, with the exception of three years when he practiced law in Prescott and was attorney for the Santa Fe railroad. Federal Judge Sloan was so well j thought ef that a provisioned pri vate car was at his disposal when he wished to go on a week-end 'hunting or fishing trip. He became known among work ing men as "Injunction Dick." Here are two samples of Judge Sloan's work on the bench: Near Prescott are the $100, --000,000 properties of the United ■ Verde Mining Co., owned by for mer United States Senator W. A. Clark, taxed at $40,000, by the 'way. This company wanted a certain man appointed district at torney. Their lawyer got caught bribing a county supervisor to vote ,for this man. The United Verde' lawyer was arrested. The super visor confessed having go\en $500. Judge Sloan dismissed the case on a technicality. The grand jury then indicted the lawyer and Sloan dismissed the case on an other technicality. ' The court records of Mohave county will show (If they have not been destroyed) that in 1907 a Pullman porter on the Santa Fe train brutally asaulted a woman passenger. She was saved by the train crew. A jury found the negro guilty, and Judge Sloan In a scathing opinion sent the negro to the penitentiary for 14 years at hard labor, the maximum, i The woman brought suit against In the Editor p Mail Everybody ln Pierce county reads this column. Short letters from Times readers, of general interest and without personal malice, will be printed. Write about anything or any. body you wish, but do not have malice as your motive. Many letters are uot printed because they ure too long. Keep "era short. Chicago, 111., Jan. 22, 1912, 5515 Monroe Aye. To the Editor of the Tacoma Times and to Dana Sleeth: Gentlemen —Allow me the pleasure of extending my appreci ation of your splendid Interpre tation of the recent trial of Jay Fox — as I wee it In Vol. IX, No. 17. the Pullman company for $25,000 damages. The company offered to settle for $2500, but the woman refused. The Pullman and Santa Fe lawyers secured a new trial for the negro. • Before Judge Sloan the case was called for trial again. It opened with a short consultation In low tunes between Judge, district at torney and attorneys for the Pull man and the Santa Fe. The same Judge Sloan who had , sentenced the negro, now dis charged him, and he was whisked out of the territory by a waiting engine. At the 1908 republican na tional convention Sloan voted against every progressive plank offered by Insurgents—especially the presidential primary. In 1909, to the astonishment of the people of Arizona, Taft made him governor of the territory, without a single open public en dorsement. In 1910 Sloan was puibllcally ridiculing the constitution wanted by the people, and saying if It was - adopted "that ths territorial _ asylum would have to be en larged." In 1911 he had to fight for two I days In the republican party con ference, reactionary as it was, for a platform endorsement of his ad ministration and Taft's. | OUR PRECISE ARTIST "Wanted: A job for an all round man." The mutton-chop*style ot whis ker is becoming obsolete and In a new generation children will have to invent now forms of amuse ment. The rabbit is Just wise enough to know that if he had a tall he'd be just forgetful enough to stick It In' a trap. It seems an though the best in American journalism had or ls migrating westward. It ib such an attitude as ls yours that we may look to for a saner Interpre tation of instltutionaliam. More ' power to your quest for what's real. Yours fraternally, I FRANK CHESTER PEASE.