Newspaper Page Text
wcmrkk Ol' THK - HCRirPSi KOHTHWBST ! UU«ra • OT 1: BWSFAI-KHS. | TH«^sr«phl<- ' •*» Imlw of th* I alird Prraa *»««>. 1..« by direct Uikl Wire. «*^>«->r-JC"'. w -*-**'■.■ .t",.v-•--*-;.*--t.:^»; , Katered tat* the ' poxiorrirr, Tarawa, Wash., 'mm ! a»rand-rln» Matter. Published by the : Taeoma. «■«• I'uk. C«. Kverj Kvrnlas Eu*f( Inter. Fun for the Bleachers While, rather than go deep Into politics a man had better hire a valet to tickle him in the armpits, there* lota of fun In polities. The old regulars thought they had things fixed In California, which is a state of national interest this time because women vote. The contest was to be between Roosevelt and Taft. Great fight! Dozenu of speakers engaged. Hundreds of halls rented. Lines clean cut. LaFollette mentioned only "among others." Finest Taft and finest Roosevelt organizations you ever saw. Taft men roasting Roosevelt. Roosevelt men roasting Taft. The situation Just smoked, and you couldn't see any LaKollette sentiment be cause of the smoke. Two weeks ago, LaFollette clubs began to form In spots Nobody much at the head of them. Just plain folks, fellows who bad never before been seen In politics, farmers, city workingmen, people of the "vast pocket vote" class. And the clubs grew and grew in members and size! Good thing! said the Taft standpat organs. Those LaFollette fellows will be enough to split the progressive vote, and Taft will win out. So, those little LaFollette club meetings got columns of glorious notice. Mighty nice play for the Taft organs! Hearst giggled. Spreckels snickered. But those Lal'ollette clubs grew and grew some more. The durned "neurotics" scraped together enough funds to get LaFol lette delegates on the primary ballot. It was evident to profes sional politicians that the "uncontrollable vote" was lining up for the movement. LaFollette speakers began to stump the state and the size of their audiences showed that a whole lot of folks had got through being led up to the ballot box by the nose. Over 600,000 new voters, mostly women, registered up to March Ist. Swarms of 'em registered as "Republican," so as to vote for Bob LaFollette. The total vote at the presidential primaries promltied to go to 1,300,000, with no knowing who 80 per cent of 'em would pick for president. Jerusalem! "the LaFollette movement" had got away, was spreading like a brush fire and might burn up the house of Taft, with everything else inflammable! So, you now miss from the Hearst and the Spreckels and the other standpat organs all those beautiful notices of the LaFollette boom, while Uncle Hiram Johnson is out oiling his old red campaign automobile, prepara tory to taking the road for dear (Roosevelt) life. "I NOTK'KD strong Taft sentiment everywhere," says T. J. Bell, after a trip along Columbia river, which may be due to Its presence or the kind of goggles T. J. wears. The College of Today Owen Johnson has written a novel, "Stover at Yale," which is attracting wide attention to the thing Woodrow Wilson fought for at Princeton—real democracy in education. He contends that the great universities have become "mere social clearing houses;" that what men now get there "is not an education, but a social experience." He crien out for the abolition of clubs and exclusive cliques; for the free mingling of men without regard to their poverty or wealth; for the opportunity "to meditate, to reflect, to dream, and to satisfy their own craving for growth." He thinks the univer sity should be the Balvation of America. The truth is that the yeast of democracy is working every where, in college and out, here and abroad. Society is in the throes of a new birth. THE I.ATKST JOKK Is Judge Hanford at Seattle lecturing new citizens against anarchy. Now we'll probably get another Hanford decision to illustrate the subject. The Way of the Coward Which would you rather —life with your wife or lose your ■rote? That's the question 1600 men in Philadelphia are facing. They must register from their wives' domiciles; they've left 'em and da'ns't; they've got to "make It up to her" or be disfran chised. Which reminds us of a story: A lion-tamer stayed out late one night with the boys. When be got home a light was burning; he knew his faithful and punc tilious spouse was sitting up for him. He didn't dare go in. The next morning his wife sternly demanded: "Why didn't you come home last night, sir?" "I was afraid to," he confessed; "so I just opened the cage and slept with the lions." "Yes —you coward!" she hissed. Are the 1600 Philadelphiane brave enough to go home and Mire their votes? THOSE SOVTH-KNDEKS think one good turn deserves an other, and if the city is going to pay $45,000 of the bill for paving to South Tacoma, why not let It pay the whole thing? The Toilers New York's richest men In 1815, four in number, averaged 4200,000. By 1855 there were 27 millionaires, of whom William B. Astor was richest. He was "worth" $6,000,000 and considered a wonder. My, my, how the multi-millionaires of today must have toiled and pinched aud saved to lay by wealth so far surpassing that of the richest of 1815, or even 1856! They must get up early, work mighty late, and never spend a cent for pleasure! THOUGHT we got away from whip-cracking over the heads of voters when party government was abolished here, but now the Railway Political club wants to do what the old political machines used to. Needs a Nurse Atlee Pomerene, democrat and junior U. S. senator from, if not for, Ohio, says he voted for Beating Grandpa Stephenson be cause Grandpa was an old man, with many business cares and probably was unaware that the $107,000 was being spent to elect him. Some day we shall hear of Atlee buying a gold brick, or blow- Ing into the muzzle of one of those "unloaded" guiis, or being run over by a cow. HOW WOULD IT UK to celebrate Arbor day for everybody In town to get out and cut down the brush in the vacant lots next door instead of planting more? Observations IjATKHT invention is one to drain clouds of electricity, which la being tried out in France. IN Prague, Bohemia, pictures of persons wanted for various crimes are exhibited in motion picture shows. HIMXXKits of the world have taken 1.385,000 bales of cotton ■tore than to this date last year. Looks something like prosperity. WHEN your stomach aches because you're hungry, you're mot. We feel hunger only in the gullet, says Italian physician. OVER in Hungary a theater manager makes short patrons ■It In front rows and tall ones in back. How about Mr Very long and his little wife? OP COURSE JIM ABHTON would not do such a thing as to pack the Central Improvement league meeting tonight to get his particular harbor scheme endorsed. IjOKG distance telephoning progesses; 210 Tale alumni at a banquet in Chicago listened to an hour's speech made by Presi dent Hadley at bis home In New Haven, 1,600 miles away. THEY'VE cot a mw hunch as to the reason things grow bet tor la spring. It Isn't rain or warmer weather but Just soil mi crobes whioh Inherit from their thousand blllloneth great grand fathers the disposition to set bus/ In springtime. editorial Pa^e of Cfie Citcoma Cimes DEIHTITIOX. Thestranger looked around the house — And saw, poured into father's shoe A fish-hook and a "sugar-lump Some cough-drops and a wad of glue; And mother's lovely Easter hat Was tied upon a hobby-horse, The stranger gently smiled and said, "You have a little boy of course." Success «WZ &> Somebody springs Into fame—and you say "Gee, but he's luckyrenown in a day! Jumped into fortune right off the bat, I wish I could fall into something like that." But you see, you don't know how that somebody toiled. Of the way that he planned and he sweated and moiled, - Of the fight that he made and the hells he went through Before he was famous and envied by you. And when the true tale of his "fortune" you've learned You'll find that it's EARNED. The writer "makes good" all at once, so It seems. But what do you know of the visions and dreams That were shattered and spoiled, of the gloom and despali That gripped at his heart, of the woe and the care, Of the doubt and the worries, the turn-downs and sneers - * By which he was greeted for years upon years? "A sudden success?"— no, a tide that has turned. The triumph was EARNED. The actor who flashes to fame "In a night"— Say, what do you know of his stubborn, hard fight? The lawyer who Jumps into note with one case, Say, what do you know of his PREVIOUS race? j. You'll find, it you look, that they've served in the ranks Where there isn't much money and mighty small thanks, ' And they've fought and they've schemed up the ladder to climb And so when Success comes they're ready—on time! The fire has been there—through the years it has burned, And the "fame" has been EARNED! TODAY yiSTORY ■ April 9, 1780, Admiral Arbuth not of the British navy succeeded fend Charleston, sent back word that there would be nothing doing in the surrender line. Spuds today are abont the same, selling for $40 and $42 im ton. Butter and eggs remain steady, with little chance of a raisi in price. Apples—ll.so ©2.50. . Lemons—s4.2s @ 4.50. Oranges—*s 1.15 ©3. 25. California Grape Fruit—V3.2s @3.50. ' "" Asparagus— 6c. Potatoess3B (75/ 42 per ton. Sprouts—Be. . Lettuce— sl.2 2. 26 crate. . Turnips—sl sack. Beef—9H@llc. - Pork— ©10c. - Onions—4 Vie Ib. „ Cabbage— M & 4c. Spinach—Boc@sl bftx. OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE. PLKASE STOP! We wish all the paragrapl«lr»; and comic artists would stop rdjK-! ing jokes about the little boy nd steals Jam from mamma's closet.- We never yet have seen a kid who pilfered the preserves and got his face all smeared. Let the mother in-law joke stay but throttle this reproach on American boyhood. Lawyers will have to dress bet ter when women juries become a fact. in getting his fleet past Ft. Moultrie and within cannon shot of Charles ton, S. C, the surrender of which he de manded in the name of the kiniß. Gen. Lin coln, who bad 2100 men to de- Smokes: lon looK sour, o!l man. What's up? Brokes: The prices on every thing. The Markets Chicken —ls ©16c lb. Oysters— s7.so per sack. Clams—s2 Back. - Crabs—sl.so 01.76 dos. Butter. Washington Creamery — ISO IS*, _ Kggs.' ' / '.■-;%:; Washington Ranch—2l® 22c. . WHOLJCHAL.K PRICES. ' .:■■ '• Peed.' 1 '■■■".-■■'■ , .-,•-■ Hay, $14019 ton; oats, $38 ton; wheat, $33®34; aborts, $2( ion; bran, $24 ton. THE.TACOMA TIMES. Most Anything #—, • ;.:'**•; Plagiarism la Prison.' ' : Jake McKinaey. a Texas con vict, won , a pardon • with . a heart touching poem published In the prison paper, but' now It appears he [ stole the poem from an j Ohio convict who Is still in the peniten tiary. ,'"l v ■'-." .'. ■. '■":■'■':. "^y* 1. ■' Man's wisdom } through the cen turies ' .-■ ■ fi^:'^':- ■.''■'„..■». Has wrought upon all mystery; Has solved the stars and touched •'_*•••■■ the poles >:;■.':•• '.■"' And sounded all of history Yet, when the spring comes to his »-.r door, His . scientific wealth untold Lost' in new wonder cannot say ' What makes the ' dandelion ;;;-; gold? : - .! Russia is buying 2000 motor trucks for use In the army.' '■' j Competition Is the life of trade, baseball and poker. >'A§ ■ How much happier a fish would be if he could conquer liU appe tite for worms this time of year. *' His sweetheart smiled upon his suit —'twas that he was ar rayed for. His tailor did not smile bit because it wasn't paid for. Or .His sweetheart smiled upon his suit. You say she hadn't oughter? She could not help the smile be cause the pants were so high water. Some women are married forty years before they learn what their husbands don't want for a Birthday gift. ♦ • * When little brother puts on sister's high heeled shoes and tries to walk In them he learna a new respect for female prowess. • • • The last thing a woman does in a photograph gallery before the camera snaps is to pat her hair into shape behind where it doesn't show. • * • I saw a woman tightly laced in a corset step to the curb and take down a horse's checkrein. * ♦ ♦ A A recipe book has been the spoil ing of many a good cook, ma says • * • A feather bed be ing aired on a picket fence is the first sign of spring. OUR PRECISE ARTIST "A run for Ills money." R2MINUTES SLAP: I've been watching you play ball this year, thud. THUD: Have you? I wonder ed what was queering me. Don't do it again. F SLAP: Evidently you suffer from stage fright when your friends are present. THUD: No I dont' suffer from It, I suffer with It. Hut the day you broke your leg and stayed! away from the park I handled ten chances with only one error. SLAP: Better luck next time, eld fellow. i THUD: Thanks—l hope you break both legs. SLAP: They've shifted you to third base, I notice. THUD: I used to let fouls [scratch up all the flower seeds In center garden. SLAP: Is that true about you having a run-in with the umpire? THUD: Yes, it is. The um pire chared that I didn't know a base hit fiom a base drum. I'm better educated than that. I used to go to college. SLAP: And at college you were a member of the ball club? THUD: No, I was a member of the mandolin club. Well, one word led to another and It wound up with me hitting the umpire. It caused an awful uproar, but the crowd was with me. SLAP: Wanted to mob the umpire, eh? THUD: Naw! Wanted to mob me. SLAP: But you said the crowd wag with you! THUD: Exactlythey Taught up with me Spring Sports No. 3—House Hunting Time House hunting ig essentially an April sport. There are pot-hunters who take houses out of sea son, but no true house-hunter would think of tak ing a pot shot at a house in the off season when it wag unprepared for the ordeal. House-hunting, in certain aspects, resembles deer-stalking. Like deer-stalking it requires great endurance and patience. Like deer-atalking, also, it requires great cunning, perspicuity, circumspect iilty and gumption. In season houses are able to disguise their true and normal characteristics with marvelous cleverness. A house that in the closed season looks clean as a pin and as orderly as a card index, may assume an almost unbelievable air of neglect and deshabille in the open season. Aprpoaching such a house you step into water over your shoe tops and thus learn that, the drain on the corner is choked. Working a little closer you find yourself on the silver strand of a little lake that effectually masks the front lawn. Skirting thla body of water and ltiaplng a deep moat that guards the back step, you gain the house. Inside tho building, if you be brave enough to carry the affair that far, you meet shocking dis order. The floors are disfigured by the muddy spoor of a kind of human parasite of the sub-spe cies tranaferensis; the garret is full of garbage; the bath tub drain is busted; the gas fixtures are green with verdigris; the whole cellar is a great humidor, with humidity six inches deep all over its floor. It take's a house-hunter of great acumen and long experience to tell what kind of a house this will be when domesticated and lace-curtained There Is a sub-variety of this sport kuown as flat-hunting, which has gained great vogue of late One Man Walloping "Billion "WISU I£JHJ I"J!S£ IS HAM H" A' *" IS Q'KSTION PHONE TRUST IH ASKING AND QIAKKH FKJIITKIt IS ANSWKII ING BY HEADING TRUST WITH A STKHKOITICON.v Portland, Oregon, Is ttae scene of a finish fight between one man and a bllllon-dollar trust. The fight has been going on for a year, and will continue until the man wins or loses. At pres ent he has the better of the scrap. The man is Samuel Hill. Penn sylvania Quaker, eccentric son in-law of J. J. Hill, and president of the Home Telephone company of Portland. He is fighting the Bell Telephone trust. If he wins the Home company will be the only independent company in the northwest. But get this right. It Is not the Home company against the trust—it is "Sam" Hill, Quaker, against the trust. The company tried fighting the trust and came within a hair's breath of losing. Then "Sam" happened along and now the battle is going the other way. Sam had been running the "good roads" work in Washington, but when Gov. Hay sent the con victs back to work in the Jute mill to pay a political debt put ting an end to the good roads work, Sam left the state. He said he would not live there as long as I lay was governor. About this time the Home Tele phone company, in which Sam owned stock, needed help. The trouble was that the com pany was held by men who were back of other telephone compa nies in the northwest. Bonds from the other companies were involved in the failure of the Oregon Trust & Savings bank and several men were interested in the Home com pany, not from choice, but neces sity, and when the other inde pendent companies began to lose in the fight against the trust, some of these financiers wanted to sell out to the trust, quick. They would not hear of ad vancing more money to make the local company a success. Operat ing expenses were high and It looked like the trust would win. Then Sam Hill came along. He made an agreement where by he was not to get any salary or expense money. He didn't need the money, he said, but he sure did want to wallop a trust. "You see, we Quakers don't think one man should keep his neighbor from getting enough to eat, just to satisfy his greed— that's why we don't like trusts. Thee understands that, does thee?" Sam doesn't use his Quaker "thees" and "thous" any more, except when he gets real earn est. Teacher: What is Mexico bounded on the north by? Johnny: Hy the United States army. minttPP Business Office Main 12. rH I I N r S Circulation l>ep». Main IS. I'llylluy. Editorial Dept. Mala 7M. OFFICE—77O-778 COMMGUCK ST. ' This Is a somewhat milder sport than house-hunt ing proper, inasmuch as flats are not nearly as wild as houses and never inhabit such remote and inac cessible places as those in which the most gamey houses are to be found. Your true house-hunter despises the flat-hunt er. He look upou the latter much as the polo player looks upon the croquet enthusiast. He may not say it, but he thinks that for a man to sink to the tame pursuit of flats when the suburban woods are full of coy and elusive houses, fully armed with furnaces, is indicative of a condition of enemia as regards sporting blood. House-hunting, like morphine and other habit forming narcotics, gets a hammer-lock on a man's soul if he keeps it up for two or three seasons hand-running. After that he is a hopelessly confirmed house hunter. There Is no law against doubles, but it Is not customary for a house-hunter to bag more than one house a season. SAM HILL. The first thing Hill did was to evolve a system to run a telephone company on the cheapest possible basis and give the best service Sam had never seen the Inside of a telephone office before, but or ganization Is his chief ability. In early days in the northwest when James J. Hill was fichtins? Wall street to build the Northern Pacific. Sam Hill, who is no rela tion to .lim, was president of 15 of About ffeopte Warren 8. Stone, chief of the Brotherhood of Locomotive En- gineers, has put up to the man agers of all railroads east of Chicago and north the the Ohio river, the demand for an 18 per cent In crease in wages A strike would take out 25,000 engineers. • • * Jules Vedrl nea, France's most popular airman, drops circulars down from the air, announcing his candidacy for W. 8. STONE. membership in the chamber of deputies. THIS jriHJMKXT U*fCn> WITH THE FLAVOR OP THYME ANU GAKMC Porterhouse steaks a la habeas corpus, oysters subjected to writs of certiorarl and chops manda mused pn the gridiron with a sauce of slmon pure romance. This legal flavored menu fig ured lonspteuously in the tangle constituting the recent suit of Atty. R. T. Murray against Mrs. Georgia D. Mclaughlin, a wealthy widow of Alameda, Cal., for $500 counsel fees. McMurray claimed he was ren dering—rendering means taking j the fat out of —legal fees while I Mrs. McLaughlin, surprised and vexed, said it was good fellow ship. "Why," she said, "he even climbed into my kitchen apron and cooked meals!" Her story smacked of the odor of good cooking while the dust of ponderous legal lore settled Tuesday, April 9, 1912. Dollar Trust" Jim Mill's railror.ds. He kept tli9 joh until he had everything sys tematized and when there was nothing left to do but watch It g<>. Saui quit to hunt more work. Sam saw that two clerks could do the bookkeeoiiiß on the 10,000 accounts the Home Telephone company had and still not work over eight hours a day. It took him six months to sys tematize the entire plant, and now, according to the best tele phone engineers in the world, it is the finest in existence. Resides belug the brnins of the 'phone company, ho is a "good roads" expert and a "back to the farm" enthusiast. He got a set of stereoptleon views on this sub ject, and started out to get ac quainted 1 with the people of Port land. The general manager of the telephone company runs the stereopticou and the treasurer acts as helper. Sam speaks somewhere every night; to an improvement club, iff a lodgeroora or In some church— impressing the people with the vnlue of good roads and of going back to the farms—and he also tells them about the Home Tele phone company. Sam has over 12,000 subscriber* to his company now, and Is get ting more every day. Unwilling bondholders can keep him from issuing more bonds, and the billion dollar Bell Telephone trust can keep Big Business from lending him money, but neither can keep him from winning the hearts of the people. deeply over Ills. Judge Arnot decided that since Mrs. MrLnughlin hart eaten the good things McMurray cooked she had also absorbed his words of legal wisdom, seasoned with spice, thyme and garlic though they were, so she was directed to pay the attorney $380. IN SPRING. TRA-LA! Best garden toots at Swing's, 1111 C St. •*• Wlalstrom's Corn Cure Get it quick at 9th and j CSt. , Use your phone.