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The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949, April 09, 1912, Image 4

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PAGE FOUR
wcmrkk Ol' THK - HCRirPSi KOHTHWBST
! UU«ra • OT 1: BWSFAI-KHS. | TH«^sr«phl<- ' •*»
Imlw of th* I alird Prraa *»««>. 1..« by direct
Uikl Wire. «*^>«->r-JC"'. w -*-**'■.■ .t",.v-•--*-;.*--t.:^»;
, Katered tat* the ' poxiorrirr, Tarawa, Wash., 'mm
! a»rand-rln» Matter. Published by the : Taeoma.
«■«• I'uk. C«. Kverj Kvrnlas Eu*f( Inter.
Fun for the Bleachers
While, rather than go deep Into politics a man had better
hire a valet to tickle him in the armpits, there* lota of fun In
polities.
The old regulars thought they had things fixed In California,
which is a state of national interest this time because women vote.
The contest was to be between Roosevelt and Taft. Great fight!
Dozenu of speakers engaged. Hundreds of halls rented. Lines
clean cut. LaFollette mentioned only "among others." Finest
Taft and finest Roosevelt organizations you ever saw. Taft men
roasting Roosevelt. Roosevelt men roasting Taft. The situation
Just smoked, and you couldn't see any LaKollette sentiment be
cause of the smoke.
Two weeks ago, LaFollette clubs began to form In spots
Nobody much at the head of them. Just plain folks, fellows who
bad never before been seen In politics, farmers, city workingmen,
people of the "vast pocket vote" class. And the clubs grew and
grew in members and size!
Good thing! said the Taft standpat organs. Those LaFollette
fellows will be enough to split the progressive vote, and Taft will
win out. So, those little LaFollette club meetings got columns
of glorious notice. Mighty nice play for the Taft organs! Hearst
giggled. Spreckels snickered.
But those Lal'ollette clubs grew and grew some more. The
durned "neurotics" scraped together enough funds to get LaFol
lette delegates on the primary ballot. It was evident to profes
sional politicians that the "uncontrollable vote" was lining up for
the movement. LaFollette speakers began to stump the state and
the size of their audiences showed that a whole lot of folks had
got through being led up to the ballot box by the nose. Over
600,000 new voters, mostly women, registered up to March Ist.
Swarms of 'em registered as "Republican," so as to vote for Bob
LaFollette. The total vote at the presidential primaries promltied
to go to 1,300,000, with no knowing who 80 per cent of 'em would
pick for president.
Jerusalem! "the LaFollette movement" had got away, was
spreading like a brush fire and might burn up the house of Taft,
with everything else inflammable! So, you now miss from the
Hearst and the Spreckels and the other standpat organs all those
beautiful notices of the LaFollette boom, while Uncle Hiram
Johnson is out oiling his old red campaign automobile, prepara
tory to taking the road for dear (Roosevelt) life.
"I NOTK'KD strong Taft sentiment everywhere," says T. J.
Bell, after a trip along Columbia river, which may be due to Its
presence or the kind of goggles T. J. wears.
The College of Today
Owen Johnson has written a novel, "Stover at Yale," which
is attracting wide attention to the thing Woodrow Wilson fought
for at Princeton—real democracy in education. He contends that
the great universities have become "mere social clearing houses;"
that what men now get there "is not an education, but a social
experience."
He crien out for the abolition of clubs and exclusive cliques;
for the free mingling of men without regard to their poverty or
wealth; for the opportunity "to meditate, to reflect, to dream, and
to satisfy their own craving for growth." He thinks the univer
sity should be the Balvation of America.
The truth is that the yeast of democracy is working every
where, in college and out, here and abroad. Society is in the
throes of a new birth.
THE I.ATKST JOKK Is Judge Hanford at Seattle lecturing
new citizens against anarchy. Now we'll probably get another
Hanford decision to illustrate the subject.
The Way of the Coward
Which would you rather —life with your wife or lose your
■rote? That's the question 1600 men in Philadelphia are facing.
They must register from their wives' domiciles; they've left 'em
and da'ns't; they've got to "make It up to her" or be disfran
chised.
Which reminds us of a story:
A lion-tamer stayed out late one night with the boys. When
be got home a light was burning; he knew his faithful and punc
tilious spouse was sitting up for him. He didn't dare go in. The
next morning his wife sternly demanded:
"Why didn't you come home last night, sir?"
"I was afraid to," he confessed; "so I just opened the cage
and slept with the lions."
"Yes —you coward!" she hissed.
Are the 1600 Philadelphiane brave enough to go home and
Mire their votes?
THOSE SOVTH-KNDEKS think one good turn deserves an
other, and if the city is going to pay $45,000 of the bill for paving
to South Tacoma, why not let It pay the whole thing?
The Toilers
New York's richest men In 1815, four in number, averaged
4200,000. By 1855 there were 27 millionaires, of whom William
B. Astor was richest. He was "worth" $6,000,000 and considered
a wonder.
My, my, how the multi-millionaires of today must have toiled
and pinched aud saved to lay by wealth so far surpassing that of
the richest of 1815, or even 1856! They must get up early, work
mighty late, and never spend a cent for pleasure!
THOUGHT we got away from whip-cracking over the heads
of voters when party government was abolished here, but now the
Railway Political club wants to do what the old political machines
used to.
Needs a Nurse
Atlee Pomerene, democrat and junior U. S. senator from, if
not for, Ohio, says he voted for Beating Grandpa Stephenson be
cause Grandpa was an old man, with many business cares and
probably was unaware that the $107,000 was being spent to elect
him.
Some day we shall hear of Atlee buying a gold brick, or blow-
Ing into the muzzle of one of those "unloaded" guiis, or being run
over by a cow.
HOW WOULD IT UK to celebrate Arbor day for everybody In
town to get out and cut down the brush in the vacant lots next
door instead of planting more?
Observations
IjATKHT invention is one to drain clouds of electricity, which
la being tried out in France.
IN Prague, Bohemia, pictures of persons wanted for various
crimes are exhibited in motion picture shows.
HIMXXKits of the world have taken 1.385,000 bales of cotton
■tore than to this date last year. Looks something like prosperity.
WHEN your stomach aches because you're hungry, you're
mot. We feel hunger only in the gullet, says Italian physician.
OVER in Hungary a theater manager makes short patrons
■It In front rows and tall ones in back. How about Mr Very
long and his little wife?
OP COURSE JIM ABHTON would not do such a thing as to
pack the Central Improvement league meeting tonight to get his
particular harbor scheme endorsed.
IjOKG distance telephoning progesses; 210 Tale alumni at
a banquet in Chicago listened to an hour's speech made by Presi
dent Hadley at bis home In New Haven, 1,600 miles away.
THEY'VE cot a mw hunch as to the reason things grow bet
tor la spring. It Isn't rain or warmer weather but Just soil mi
crobes whioh Inherit from their thousand blllloneth great grand
fathers the disposition to set bus/ In springtime.
editorial Pa^e of Cfie Citcoma Cimes
DEIHTITIOX.
Thestranger looked around the
house —
And saw, poured into father's
shoe
A fish-hook and a "sugar-lump
Some cough-drops and a wad of
glue;
And mother's lovely Easter hat
Was tied upon a hobby-horse,
The stranger gently smiled and
said,
"You have a little boy of
course."
Success «WZ &>
Somebody springs Into fame—and you say
"Gee, but he's luckyrenown in a day!
Jumped into fortune right off the bat,
I wish I could fall into something like that."
But you see, you don't know how that somebody toiled.
Of the way that he planned and he sweated and moiled, -
Of the fight that he made and the hells he went through
Before he was famous and envied by you.
And when the true tale of his "fortune" you've learned
You'll find that it's EARNED.
The writer "makes good" all at once, so It seems.
But what do you know of the visions and dreams
That were shattered and spoiled, of the gloom and despali
That gripped at his heart, of the woe and the care,
Of the doubt and the worries, the turn-downs and sneers - *
By which he was greeted for years upon years?
"A sudden success?"— no, a tide that has turned.
The triumph was EARNED.
The actor who flashes to fame "In a night"—
Say, what do you know of his stubborn, hard fight?
The lawyer who Jumps into note with one case,
Say, what do you know of his PREVIOUS race? j.
You'll find, it you look, that they've served in the ranks
Where there isn't much money and mighty small thanks, '
And they've fought and they've schemed up the ladder to climb
And so when Success comes they're ready—on time!
The fire has been there—through the years it has burned,
And the "fame" has been EARNED!
TODAY yiSTORY ■
April 9, 1780, Admiral Arbuth
not of the British navy succeeded
fend Charleston, sent back word
that there would be nothing doing
in the surrender line.
Spuds today are abont the same, selling for $40 and $42 im
ton. Butter and eggs remain steady, with little chance of a raisi
in price.
Apples—ll.so ©2.50.
. Lemons—s4.2s @ 4.50.
Oranges—*s 1.15 ©3. 25.
California Grape Fruit—V3.2s
@3.50. '
"" Asparagus— 6c.
Potatoess3B (75/ 42 per ton.
Sprouts—Be. .
Lettuce— sl.2 2. 26 crate.
. Turnips—sl sack.
Beef—9H@llc.
- Pork— ©10c.
- Onions—4 Vie Ib.
„ Cabbage— M & 4c.
Spinach—Boc@sl bftx.
OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE.
PLKASE STOP!
We wish all the paragrapl«lr»;
and comic artists would stop rdjK-!
ing jokes about the little boy nd
steals Jam from mamma's closet.-
We never yet have seen a kid who
pilfered the preserves and got his
face all smeared. Let the mother
in-law joke stay but throttle this
reproach on American boyhood.
Lawyers will have to dress bet
ter when women juries become a
fact.
in getting his
fleet past Ft.
Moultrie and
within cannon
shot of Charles
ton, S. C, the
surrender of
which he de
manded in the
name of the
kiniß. Gen. Lin
coln, who bad
2100 men to de-
Smokes: lon looK sour, o!l
man. What's up?
Brokes: The prices on every
thing.
The Markets
Chicken —ls ©16c lb.
Oysters— s7.so per sack.
Clams—s2 Back. -
Crabs—sl.so 01.76 dos.
Butter.
Washington Creamery — ISO
IS*, _
Kggs.' ' / '.■-;%:;
Washington Ranch—2l® 22c. .
WHOLJCHAL.K PRICES.
' .:■■ '• Peed.' 1 '■■■".-■■'■ , .-,•-■
Hay, $14019 ton; oats, $38
ton; wheat, $33®34; aborts, $2(
ion; bran, $24 ton.
THE.TACOMA TIMES.
Most
Anything
#—, •
;.:'**•; Plagiarism la Prison.' '
: Jake McKinaey. a Texas con
vict, won , a pardon • with . a heart
touching poem published In the
prison paper, but' now It appears
he [ stole the poem from an j Ohio
convict who Is still in the peniten
tiary. ,'"l v ■'-." .'. ■. '■":■'■':. "^y* 1. ■'
Man's wisdom } through the cen
turies ' .-■ ■ fi^:'^':- ■.''■'„..■».
Has wrought upon all mystery;
Has solved the stars and touched
•'_*•••■■ the poles >:;■.':•• '.■"'
And sounded all of history
Yet, when the spring comes to his
»-.r door,
His . scientific wealth untold
Lost' in new wonder cannot say '
What makes the ' dandelion
;;;-; gold? : - .!
Russia is buying 2000 motor
trucks for use In the army.' '■' j
Competition Is the life of
trade, baseball and poker. >'A§
■ How much happier a fish would
be if he could conquer liU appe
tite for worms this time of year.
*' His sweetheart smiled upon
his suit —'twas that he was ar
rayed for. His tailor did not smile
bit because it wasn't paid for.
Or
.His sweetheart smiled upon his
suit. You say she hadn't oughter?
She could not help the smile be
cause the pants were so high
water.
Some women are married forty
years before they learn what
their husbands don't want for a
Birthday gift. ♦ • * When
little brother puts on sister's high
heeled shoes and tries to walk
In them he learna a new respect
for female prowess. • • •
The last thing a woman does in
a photograph gallery before the
camera snaps is to pat her hair
into shape behind where it
doesn't show. • * • I saw a
woman tightly laced in a corset
step to the curb and take down a
horse's checkrein. * ♦ ♦ A
A recipe book has been the spoil
ing of many a good cook, ma
says • * • A feather bed be
ing aired on a picket fence is the
first sign of spring.
OUR PRECISE ARTIST
"A run for Ills money."
R2MINUTES
SLAP: I've been watching you
play ball this year, thud.
THUD: Have you? I wonder
ed what was queering me. Don't
do it again.
F SLAP: Evidently you suffer
from stage fright when your
friends are present.
THUD: No I dont' suffer from
It, I suffer with It. Hut the day
you broke your leg and stayed!
away from the park I handled
ten chances with only one error.
SLAP: Better luck next time,
eld fellow.
i THUD: Thanks—l hope you
break both legs.
SLAP: They've shifted you to
third base, I notice.
THUD: I used to let fouls
[scratch up all the flower seeds In
center garden.
SLAP: Is that true about you
having a run-in with the umpire?
THUD: Yes, it is. The um
pire chared that I didn't know a
base hit fiom a base drum. I'm
better educated than that. I used
to go to college.
SLAP: And at college you were
a member of the ball club?
THUD: No, I was a member
of the mandolin club. Well, one
word led to another and It wound
up with me hitting the umpire. It
caused an awful uproar, but the
crowd was with me.
SLAP: Wanted to mob the
umpire, eh?
THUD: Naw! Wanted to
mob me.
SLAP: But you said the crowd
wag with you!
THUD: Exactlythey Taught
up with me
Spring Sports No. 3—House Hunting Time
House hunting ig essentially an April sport.
There are pot-hunters who take houses out of sea
son, but no true house-hunter would think of tak
ing a pot shot at a house in the off season when
it wag unprepared for the ordeal.
House-hunting, in certain aspects, resembles
deer-stalking. Like deer-stalking it requires great
endurance and patience. Like deer-atalking, also,
it requires great cunning, perspicuity, circumspect
iilty and gumption.
In season houses are able to disguise their
true and normal characteristics with marvelous
cleverness. A house that in the closed season looks
clean as a pin and as orderly as a card index, may
assume an almost unbelievable air of neglect and
deshabille in the open season.
Aprpoaching such a house you step into water
over your shoe tops and thus learn that, the drain
on the corner is choked. Working a little closer
you find yourself on the silver strand of a little
lake that effectually masks the front lawn. Skirting
thla body of water and ltiaplng a deep moat that
guards the back step, you gain the house.
Inside tho building, if you be brave enough to
carry the affair that far, you meet shocking dis
order. The floors are disfigured by the muddy
spoor of a kind of human parasite of the sub-spe
cies tranaferensis; the garret is full of garbage;
the bath tub drain is busted; the gas fixtures are
green with verdigris; the whole cellar is a great
humidor, with humidity six inches deep all over its
floor.
It take's a house-hunter of great acumen and
long experience to tell what kind of a house this
will be when domesticated and lace-curtained
There Is a sub-variety of this sport kuown as
flat-hunting, which has gained great vogue of late
One Man Walloping "Billion
"WISU I£JHJ I"J!S£ IS HAM H" A' *" IS Q'KSTION PHONE
TRUST IH ASKING AND QIAKKH FKJIITKIt IS ANSWKII
ING BY HEADING TRUST WITH A STKHKOITICON.v
Portland, Oregon, Is ttae scene
of a finish fight between one
man and a bllllon-dollar trust.
The fight has been going on for
a year, and will continue until
the man wins or loses. At pres
ent he has the better of the scrap.
The man is Samuel Hill. Penn
sylvania Quaker, eccentric son
in-law of J. J. Hill, and president
of the Home Telephone company
of Portland. He is fighting the
Bell Telephone trust. If he wins
the Home company will be the
only independent company in the
northwest.
But get this right. It Is not
the Home company against the
trust—it is "Sam" Hill, Quaker,
against the trust. The company
tried fighting the trust and came
within a hair's breath of losing.
Then "Sam" happened along and
now the battle is going the other
way.
Sam had been running the
"good roads" work in Washington,
but when Gov. Hay sent the con
victs back to work in the Jute
mill to pay a political debt put
ting an end to the good roads
work, Sam left the state. He said
he would not live there as long as
I lay was governor.
About this time the Home Tele
phone company, in which Sam
owned stock, needed help.
The trouble was that the com
pany was held by men who were
back of other telephone compa
nies in the northwest. Bonds from
the other companies were involved
in the failure of the Oregon Trust
& Savings bank and several men
were interested in the Home com
pany, not from choice, but neces
sity, and when the other inde
pendent companies began to lose
in the fight against the trust,
some of these financiers wanted
to sell out to the trust, quick.
They would not hear of ad
vancing more money to make the
local company a success. Operat
ing expenses were high and It
looked like the trust would win.
Then Sam Hill came along.
He made an agreement where
by he was not to get any salary
or expense money. He didn't
need the money, he said, but he
sure did want to wallop a trust.
"You see, we Quakers don't
think one man should keep his
neighbor from getting enough to
eat, just to satisfy his greed—
that's why we don't like trusts.
Thee understands that, does
thee?"
Sam doesn't use his Quaker
"thees" and "thous" any more,
except when he gets real earn
est.
Teacher: What is Mexico
bounded on the north by?
Johnny: Hy the United States
army.
minttPP Business Office Main 12.
rH I I N r S Circulation l>ep». Main IS.
I'llylluy. Editorial Dept. Mala 7M.
OFFICE—77O-778 COMMGUCK ST. '
This Is a somewhat milder sport than house-hunt
ing proper, inasmuch as flats are not nearly as wild
as houses and never inhabit such remote and inac
cessible places as those in which the most gamey
houses are to be found.
Your true house-hunter despises the flat-hunt
er. He look upou the latter much as the polo
player looks upon the croquet enthusiast. He may
not say it, but he thinks that for a man to sink to
the tame pursuit of flats when the suburban woods
are full of coy and elusive houses, fully armed with
furnaces, is indicative of a condition of enemia as
regards sporting blood.
House-hunting, like morphine and other habit
forming narcotics, gets a hammer-lock on a man's
soul if he keeps it up for two or three seasons
hand-running.
After that he is a hopelessly confirmed house
hunter.
There Is no law against doubles, but it Is not
customary for a house-hunter to bag more than one
house a season.
SAM HILL.
The first thing Hill did was to
evolve a system to run a telephone
company on the cheapest possible
basis and give the best service
Sam had never seen the Inside of
a telephone office before, but or
ganization Is his chief ability.
In early days in the northwest
when James J. Hill was fichtins?
Wall street to build the Northern
Pacific. Sam Hill, who is no rela
tion to .lim, was president of 15 of
About ffeopte
Warren 8. Stone, chief of the
Brotherhood of Locomotive En-
gineers, has put
up to the man
agers of all
railroads east of
Chicago and
north the the
Ohio river, the
demand for an
18 per cent In
crease in wages
A strike would
take out 25,000
engineers.
• • *
Jules Vedrl
nea, France's
most popular
airman, drops
circulars down
from the air,
announcing his
candidacy for
W. 8. STONE. membership in
the chamber of deputies.
THIS jriHJMKXT U*fCn>
WITH THE FLAVOR OP
THYME ANU GAKMC
Porterhouse steaks a la habeas
corpus, oysters subjected to writs
of certiorarl and chops manda
mused pn the gridiron with a
sauce of slmon pure romance.
This legal flavored menu fig
ured lonspteuously in the tangle
constituting the recent suit of
Atty. R. T. Murray against Mrs.
Georgia D. Mclaughlin, a wealthy
widow of Alameda, Cal., for $500
counsel fees.
McMurray claimed he was ren
dering—rendering means taking j
the fat out of —legal fees while I
Mrs. McLaughlin, surprised and
vexed, said it was good fellow
ship.
"Why," she said, "he even
climbed into my kitchen apron and
cooked meals!"
Her story smacked of the odor
of good cooking while the dust
of ponderous legal lore settled
Tuesday, April 9, 1912.
Dollar Trust"
Jim Mill's railror.ds. He kept tli9
joh until he had everything sys
tematized and when there was
nothing left to do but watch It
g<>. Saui quit to hunt more work.
Sam saw that two clerks could
do the bookkeeoiiiß on the 10,000
accounts the Home Telephone
company had and still not work
over eight hours a day.
It took him six months to sys
tematize the entire plant, and
now, according to the best tele
phone engineers in the world, it
is the finest in existence.
Resides belug the brnins of the
'phone company, ho is a "good
roads" expert and a "back to the
farm" enthusiast. He got a set of
stereoptleon views on this sub
ject, and started out to get ac
quainted 1 with the people of Port
land. The general manager of
the telephone company runs the
stereopticou and the treasurer
acts as helper.
Sam speaks somewhere every
night; to an improvement club, iff
a lodgeroora or In some church—
impressing the people with the
vnlue of good roads and of going
back to the farms—and he also
tells them about the Home Tele
phone company.
Sam has over 12,000 subscriber*
to his company now, and Is get
ting more every day.
Unwilling bondholders can keep
him from issuing more bonds, and
the billion dollar Bell Telephone
trust can keep Big Business from
lending him money, but neither
can keep him from winning the
hearts of the people.
deeply over Ills.
Judge Arnot decided that since
Mrs. MrLnughlin hart eaten the
good things McMurray cooked she
had also absorbed his words of
legal wisdom, seasoned with spice,
thyme and garlic though they
were, so she was directed to pay
the attorney $380.
IN SPRING. TRA-LA!
Best garden toots at Swing's,
1111 C St. •*•
Wlalstrom's
Corn Cure
Get it quick at 9th and
j CSt.
, Use your phone.

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