The Tacoma times. [volume], July 24, 1912, Page 4, Image 4

About The Tacoma times. [volume] (Tacoma, Wash.) 1903-1949

Image provided by: Washington State Library; Olympia, WA

                
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The Pay Envelope
Of all the thousands of books that are tumbled
from the presses of the world each year, not one has
dealt adequately or even primarily with one of the
most important topics in the whole worId—WAGES.
Probably 90 per cent of the men in every great
industrial country are vitally interested in the day's
wage and its relation to the kindred subjects of rent,
food, fuel and clothing.
The bureau of railway economics maintained by
the railroads of this county has just published a pam
phlet giving the results of a comparative study of the
wages of railway employes in the United States and
Europe, together with some consideration of the cost
of living. Examination of the one is not very illumi
nating without data on the other.
Scan these figures for a few minutes. The daily
average wage of railway employes is as follows:
United States $2.29
Great Britain 105
Germany 81
Austria-Hungary 89
In France, Italy and Belgium the figures range
something like those in Germany.
"Aha!" you say, "we are way ahead in our own
land. But pause just a moment. See what the fig
ures say concerning the rental, for instance, of a four
room house or flat:
United State* f 131
England 63
France '.. . . 49
Germany • 65
Belgium v 39
You will observe that the mere question of having
a home is a far more serious financial matter in this
country than in Europe.
If we take a certain standard of food and fuel we
find that the .'frenchman pays 17.8 per cent less than
the American; the German pays the same as the
Frenchman; the Belgian pays 35.2 per cent less than
the American; and the Britisher 38 per cent less.
One important item is omitted by the pamphlet.
It is the question of clothes. Here, too, the expense
would be much less for the European, for it is notori
ous that our clothes cost more than in Europe. So
that it is quite possible, when the end of the year
rolls around, that the American—highly paid though
he be—doesn't have much, if any, more left out of
his earnings that his European brother.
The high protective tariff is admittedly the
mother of the American trusts. But every time you
attack it, some smug beneficiary of this special legis
lation retorts by saying that this same tariff is the
mother of high wages.
PERHAPS THOSE HIGH WAGES ARE NOT
QUITE SO HIGH AS THEY SEEM.
A man who writes under the name of "Donald
Lowrie" has recently issued a book telling us his
experiences in San Quentin prison, California, a
place made rather notorious as the enforced resi
dence of Abe Ruef and the McNamaras.
We believe the book should be placed in the hands
of every state legislator and every state prison com
missioner. Packed to the brim with facts, with no
false whine for pity, but often with the saving sense
of humor, it nevertheless constitutes a tremendous
indictment of our prison systems and our so-called
civilization.
Penologists say prisons are maintained in order
that men who committ offenses against society may
be made to see the error of their \va3-s and come out of
durance as future, good members of society. As a
matter of fact, most of our present prisons make
beasts of the prisoners and brutalize the keepers.
They are poisonous in every way.
So long as we lock men into narrow cells with
practically no ventilation and little cleanliness, so
long as we force them to eat food under conditions
that are disgusting, so long as we permit punish
ments that are savage, our boasted twentieth cen
tury is not very far in advance of the tortures and
prisons of the middle ages which we so love to call
"dark".
The very beasts in the menageries are treated bet
ter than most inmates of state prisons. We will be
gin to make men offenders against the law only when
we begin to treat them as men. If we continue to
treat them as savage beasts, they will continue to is
sue from the grim walls of our penitentiaries with a
raging desire to avenge themselves upon a society
which has taught them only the hostile spirit of the
law's vengeance.
Observations
WITH lumber mills doubling their working forces
—and their prices—looks as if the old scarecrow of a
political campaign is not going to frighten legitimate
industry any more.
AND now the politicians are deprecating the moral
turpitude of working the steam roller. Somebody
please tickle us!
IT is up to Judge Cushman to say whether Taeoma
■hall be put back on the map by bringing back fed
eral court offices to thia city or not
editorial Page of Cfte Ciicoma €imes
BY BKBTOV RRAMSY.
(Sing to tune of Yankee Doodle.)
Yankee Doodle crossed the sea
Ki|iiij>l>ed with brain and mu
cle.
Intent on gaining victory
In each Olympic tusiie. -
CHORUS. ■""{
Yankee Doodle Doodle Do
He is sure the candy;
He certainly can go a few
Can Yankee Doodle Dandy!
His arms were thick, his shoul
ders strong.
His lanky legs had speed in,
And so he landed 'mid the throng
The world had sent to Sweden.
From all the world the athletes
came,
He stalked supreme among
'em,
And then at every sort of gamp '■
Of speed or skill he stung 'em.'
He ran. he jumped, he swam and
then
He grabbed the shot and ham
mer
Long Pants Must Go
Says This Preacher
This, ladles and gentlemen, Is
the Rev. D. D. Bennett, vicar of
*-*' '-[ll . wueu I.IIt-> lUBIHt UD
sliding down. The "shorts,"
which, between us and the gate
post, are just a police terms for
short pants— they start Just
where trousers do, but gee whili
kins! They end too abruptly and
too far away from the socks.
There is quite a gap between
the finish of the socks and the
shorts, unblusingly showing the
world considerable glimpse the
ts, unblusingly showing the
d a considerable glimpse of
knees and calves.
The vicar says they're the Ideal
wear for men.
"f <J>/ 4SEHTOW OQAUa*
.:--.;. ....•■ ■ ......
The lawyer roundly curses ■-■
The business he is in; ■
The poet damns bis versos
And claims they keep him thin;
The cop would be a tailor,
Th« tailor be a cop, .
The farmer be a sailor.
■ The sailor tend the crop.
The Journalist declares he
Would sell cigars instead; ,
The speculator swears he
Would keep an oyster bed;
In every occupation
The people sem to throb
To try some new vocation—- «
. The other fellow's Job. -
But when the circumstances ■••■■,
. Would free , them , from ; their
• - -,'■ . groove, -. v .-•■•- r ' -- ■<•"■
They do not take the chances, /
They, do not want to move. j
Their' trader—they sourly , view H
. With venom and with gall; '
And yet they're sticking to it; |^
.They like It," after all! \
The f-nrth's sensible atmosphere
Is supposed to extend some forty
miles in height, but becomes at
only a few miles from the surface
of too great a tenuity to support
Yankee Doodle, He Brings Home the Bacon
A PREACHER'S VIKW ON IiOVE
CHICAGO, July 24.—The Rev. W. B. Norton, speaking to hie
congregation In the Woodlawn Park Methodist Episcopal church oe
love, mentioned four teats which were infallible, and backed up each
one with a parallel case from the Bible.
"If you really, truly, fere in love," ha said, "first you care not
for wealth, position or things material. You worship only the per
son; second, you are interested Intensely in even tiny things concern
ing the beloved; third, you find Joy In service, no matter how ardu
ous, and, fourth, you feel pain at separation."
The pastor said that motor rides, social position, amusement
parks and candy would not be thought of if the person was loved
for himself.
"Where real love exists,*"" he continued, "a ribbon, a flower, or a
button will excite your uniotlons as quickly as things of greater
value."
OPTIMISM
Hearing that an old darky who had worked for him many years
wag in great trouble, his employer stopped him one morning and
said, "How are you feeling. Uncle Zeke?"
"I's felin' fine ,suh, 'cept a lettle ruhmatiz, thank ya, Mr.
Charles," said the darky.
"But didn't you lose your wife last week, Zeke?"
"Yas, suh, mah wife, she done gone across da ribber. She is
daid."
OJlslingham, and
the man who 1b
trying to put
Britishers of the
male persuasion
Into "socks" and
"shorts."
He wears 'em
himself — tak-e
another look at
the picture — in
fact, it has been
two yearß since
he had a pair of
trousers on.
"Socks and
shorts" are what
the words im
ply. The Bocks
begin where
they ought to,
at the big toe
and climb up
wards along ' the
shins as socks
are wont to do.
"Hasn't your son recently been sent to jail?"
"Yas, hum, de law done cotch Charlie sellin' moonshine and tuck
him to Jail."
"Haven't your daughter's children the measles?"
" Yas, suh, dey's are dcyrn wif da measles, suah."
"Well, Zeke, I'm very sorry f or all this trouble you've got."
"Huh! Dats not MAH trubble, dats DEY'S trubble."
"How far can you trust your
wife wHh a secret?"
"Oh, about from here to the
telephone."
,■::.->;-.■ -EASY MONEY «
"Why don't you marry him, he's rich and old?" '
"Old? He may live for ten years yet!"
"Marry him and do your own cooking."—Houston Post.
UNKNTHISKI)
A political orator, evidently better acquainted with western geog
raphy than wlht the language of the Greeks, recently exclaimed with
fervor that his principles should prevail "from Alpha to Omaha."—
Christian Register. • : -
GOOD SIGN --
Employer (to his cashier) I—"Mayer,1 —"Mayer, I don't know what to
think of you; every time I see'you, you are asleep."
Cashier — sir, surely' it's a good sign that I have a cleat
conscience."—Fllegende Blaetfer. '
' WHKHK? .
"I see that a scientist is,lnvestigating the origin of the noun'
dawg song. A man curious enough to want to know where that
originated is a fool!" • '■- *.n ' -...'/ . .
"That's right I wonder \J here it did originate."—Houston Post.
ric \« n \i:,\L m (.(jkstion
"Ooodby, daughter . 1 suiip«Be you will get engaged a number of
i times thin summer." i
"I suppose so, dad." , JIC -
"Well, you're getting alouK- See if you can't make one of them
permanent."—Louisville Courier-Journal.
THE DROWSY CHAPERONE AND THE LIGHT WEIGHT LOVERS
THE TACOMA TZMXS.
NOT TOO FAR
And busted all the marks again
Mid Universal clamor.
The Yankee Flag was at the top
Abova thj- whole caboodle;
There wasn't any chance to stop
, That mighty Yankee Doodle.
And when they counted up tne
score
Of all the points he'd taken.
Why Yankee Doodle, as of yore,
L Was bringing home the bacon.
A FLAT FAILURE
"What success did you get in
your attempt to make a moving
picture of the tramps' conven
tion?"
"Punk. Not one of them
moved."
SIMMIIi ODfi
Hot,
Bought.
Late,
Skate.
Wtfe.
Strife.
Morrow,
Sorrow.
Chit-ago doctor says lobster Ifl
better food than fruit or candy.
Any chorus girl knows that.
A FKMX>\V-KKKIJN«
She —My gracious! (slap)
Goodness! (crack). The mos
quitoes are eating me up! Slap)
Did you ever see such contempt
ible animals?
He —Too bad.
She —I don't think you're a bit
(slap) sympathetic! You ought to
be (slap) furious at any enemy
of mine. (Slap. slap).
He — Oh, I'm sympathetic for
you aIV right enough, but I —ah —
I—really, I can't blame the mos
quitoes.
Won't somebody PLEASE page
Mrs. Joseph W. Bailey!
"Won't you walk into my par
lor?"
Said the spider to the fly;
"For it is the coziest parlor
That ever you did spy."
Which used to make us shed
real tears of pitty, but now moves
us to chortling gurgle in realiza
tion of the fact that the wicked
old spider was really the original
health officer.
• I iin i si -i him vs. . •
:•« :
"Well, George," said the pres
ident of the company to old
George, "how goes it?"
"Fair to middlln', sir," George
answered. And he continued to
currycomb a bay horse. "Men an'
this here hoss," George said,
suddenly, "bag worked for your
firm 16 years."
"Well, well," aald the presi
dent, thinking a little guiltily of
G«orge's sevtMi-dollar salary.
"And I Biippose you are both pret
ty highly valued, George, eh?"
"H'm," said George, "the both
of us was took sick last week,
and they got a doctor for the
hoss, but they just docked my
pay."
• • •
A disheveled citizen rushed In
to a Boston police station one aft
ernoon and shouted for vengeance.
"The automobile that hit me
five minutes ago was tio. 41114,"
he sputtered.
"I can prove that he was ex
ceeding the speed limit, an<d I
want—l —want "
"You want a warrant for his
arrest?"
"Warrant nothing! What good
would a warrant do me at the
rate he wag golnff? I want extra
dition papers."
• • • •
A German shoemaker left the
gas turned on In hia shop one
night and upon arriving in the
morning truck a match to light
it. There waß a terrific explosion
and the shoemaker was blown out
through the door almost to\the
middle of the street.
A passerby rushed to his as
sistance, and, after helping him to
rise, inquired if he was injured.
The little German gazed in at
his place of business, which was
now burning quite briskly, and
said:
"No, I ain't hurt. But I got out
ahust In time, eh?"
A hungry typhoid convatescent
demanded something to eat. The
nurse gave him a teaspoonful
of tapioca.
"Now," he said fretfully, "I
want to read a little. Bring me a
postage stamp."
L<j^l«al#kft^
(No prizes are offered wltli
fhese puzzles and tricks; and no
answers will be printed.—Editor.)
HOW OLD IS KACH?
Nine men, working together In
a shop discovered that when they
lined up in a r6w as shown, eacii
man wag exactly a year older
than the man next to htm on the
left. Then the first five found
that their ages added together
made exactly seven-tenths as
much as the combined ages of the
last five. How old was etch man.
_—_—_^_______
nilAiirC .DuliMMa Office Mate la.
PHON I* S Ctowdbtlwi Uept. Main 12.
I lIV/i!IJ>J Edltoriaj Dei*. Main 794.
—770-178 OOMMERCK ST.
Don, The Dog, Really
Speaks Human Words
Don's Pose When He is Speaking
Like a Human.
lly Norman Rose.
NEW YORK, July ii*.—Don
1 ><M-s talk.
That Is, this dog speaks human
words. And nobody who hears him
speak, who notes the tremendous
canine earnestness which he
throws into his efforts at vocali
zation, can doubt for an instant
that Don is trying to talk—not
merely to make a noise, but to >a j
something.
The "talking dog" brought over
from Berlin by William Ilammer
steln, and appearing at the Vic
toria roof, has amazed hia audi
ences. Most folks who have gone
to see him havo undoubtedly had
the idea that Don might have
some peculiar way of barking
which would fainly resemble hu
man speech, but that he would l>e
able to enunciate at all seemed
quite incredible.
But the dog does enunciate. It's
quite uncanny to hear him. It al
ways takes htm three or four or
more attempts to speak the word
he has been told to. He starts off,
generally, with a plain bark or
yelp. The next attempt bears some
The Markets
Strawberries — Local, $3.
Oranges—s2.7s @ 3.50.
Rhubarb — Home grown, 2c
Ib.
California Grape Fruit —93.50
0 4.60."
Cherries —2 5c @ $1.25.
Asparagus — Wash.', 91 25®
1.50.
Potatoes—s22 a ton.
Lettuce —$1.10 a crate; 20®
25c a doz. heads.
Turnips—sl<3>l.3s a sack.
Beet —11® 12c.
Pork—l2V4 ©>l6Hc
Beets—s2 sack.
Onions—sl.lo92.Bs.
Lemons —45 ® 5.50.
TRAVEL ON THE
"MILWAUKEE" X
BETWEEN
Tacoma and Grays Harbor
Trains leave Tacoma at 8:40 A. M. and 4:40 P. M. - -»V-
For particulars regarding fares and train service, call on or address
CITY TICKET OFFICE V
'; - 1001 Pacific Aye., Tacoma '■■' its
.-• ■ ■-•• Joint Passenger Station, 23th and A St. ".'-" ■
mmmmmm —^——■— ' ■ ■ teeth ' - •£ v".
Ing wmair^^tm BJ ■tal Our ■ dentistry .Is .'., as
I] (mD Eg SIC StHli good as wo can make It.
(i |>| iTTBiT-^.JB-MJ^H We have only the boat
■ PjjhffK^^^S^Rb^SrTi. iff dentists and the largest,
IIAtKI 91 !B k 1 |V*\l lil beat c<(uipi>ed office in
|Jflßß^2&2^UJEttAS| the West —we are pre-
ISm B/VmTVaI ■» 14MB - pored to do It rlghit, and
IS %!% IH W I |Wk| It Is right —wo (juarnn-
HjUj^^^^^^^^^ (<■« it. Anolliir (him? —
in n«'"" You'll find we never ad-
wh.«i « r/^' ■■-'"' vertlse anything but tie
■ :, Corner »th and C 8t«. r;:: ■; absolute truth. Over
n«jr 7-'' * ■» ;*' .1 ' 15,0-00* pleased patrons. '*
Years In the **J&ga&Sk±
Same Location
WoiS&*- .;Mai>agew: :;. ■ r \L3£\-JW^}s
<•; DR. AUSTIN.' DR. BURNS. ptati.' Uninf
iS^^,-^i ;••••* •••VV.S X Plate work In Tacjimato^
saa*.-.-.-.-••"..*• a ar-jiiw^ss^
5 XATIOXS AND ■ « »x-*i- f "»^com» here for teV»th «fter '
-"; *,«ESTIMATES FREE .' having anr*? absolutely
jV. V WE GIVE GAS ~ v. "- worthless' Het mad* iv
OPEN EVKNINO9 FOB ,r~- •- • - Mime other otfice."JT^***f*
• -v FBOPIiB WHO WORK .Prices $5.00 to $15.00.
AO Work Guaranteed. Call and see sample*.
Weanes3ay^ul^24^9lSL
DON'S BEST PICTURE
faint resemblance to the word.
Finally It is quite clear what he is
trying to say. You might not
know what the word was, if you
had not been told in advance, but
when you are watching (or it you
recognize it.
And you know, just aa well as
does Madame Haberland, Don's
owner, when Don Blips up, and
speaks a wrong word. The differ
ence in his enunciation is suffic
ient for that — which surely is
"going some" for a dog.
The first wosd Don speaks is
his name. Not much to that—
about all you get is the vowrl
sound. Then, at the command of
Madame Haberland, he says
"haben" the German »word for
"have." Here one wakrs up to
the fact that Don really Is differ
ent from all tho other dogs in the
world—he says "haben" dis
tinctly, in two conjoined syllables.
Not two separate barks, such aa
any dog might give vent to, whfii
excited, but a fully connected
bark, so to speak, in which the
rowel sounds are plainly differen
tiated.
Don says "kuchen" (cak») and
finally he speaks the name of his
mistress, Haberland. Here, of
course,-the conjoining of thren
syllables into ono bark is the re
markable thing. And Don does it
without the shadow of a doubt.
Pierce County
Shows Cash
There is Just 1173,180.90"
more cash in the Pierce county
treasury than there was at the
close of the fiscal year last year.
Evidently the exposure of the old
methods had some good effect on
the county commissioners.
Last year there was paid into
the county $4,G28,086.81. It has
all gone out but $1,052,950.38.
Watermelons —1 % c.
Raspberries— crate.
Carrots—s2 a sack.
Cabbage— 1 % ® 3 % c
Spinach—9oc a box. '
Chickens—l2® 20c a IK
Oysters—s7.so per sack.
Clams—sl.9o sack.
Crabs—sl.so ©1.75 do*.
Butt-?r.
Washington Creamery—2*o
3le.
E*K»
Washington Ranch—27c.
WHOLESALE PRICES. -
Feed.
Hay, $12.500 ton; oats, $38
ton; wheat, $32@33; shorts,
$29.50 ton: bran, $27.50 a ton.