PAGE FOUR.
MEMBER or rai " scnirri hobthwejt
LJBAOVH OP HKWSPAI'KHI Trlfsrapaie New*
. «<ttl»«- af Ike I ultra rrr« ASMK-lullon by direct
Lmm< Wire. *■ .... .......
Eatrrrd at <b« ponlofrlc^, Tai-oma. Wash., "•
»€<■■« rim sutler. I'ulillaked by the Taroma
Tlatea Pnk. Co. Brrry Eveala« Bxceat Sunday.
GO VERY SLOW
Right now is a time for the city council to go slow on granting any power
franchise to P. H. Hebb or anybody else.
The city has just completed a $2,000,000 power plant of its own. It is ex
pected to generate 10,000 more horsepower than the city needs for city lighting
now an dthis will be available for commercial power. It will be ample to
keep the Stone-Webster interests from boosting prices. And until the city
gets sale for this 10,000 horsepower of current it certainly does not want any
further competition than it already has.
Of course it is expected that in years to come Tacoma will need more
power than the city plant and the Stone-Webster plants will yield. It will be
nice to have the Hebb power in lure then. But before any franchise is
granted to P. H. Hebb the city wants to be very sure that when this White
river power does come to Tacoma it cumes under the control of the city,
not of any private company.
To grant a franchise to Hebb as he asks would simply be to turn over
the Hebb plant to Stone-Webster in the course of a few years. This concern
does not intend to have any competitors in the power field in the Northwest
and it will buy up private enterprises just as fast as they are established. If
the city wants to be free it must get control of the Hebb plant itself in the
future and no franchise should be given Hebb that does not provide for this
absolutely.
Tacoma has had experience getting competition for Stone-Webster in the
traction business. The Pacific Traction company stalled out with brilliant
prospects, but through financial machinations in the money centers largely
controlled by Stone-Webster interests, it was a very short career until the
traction company was gobbled b3 r the big Boston syndicate.
Mr. Hebb may be perfectly sincere in a desire to benefit Tacoma and perfect
ly determined to never give up to tho Stone-Webster interests, but he has not
got the money to build his plant himself and when he gets into the hands of
bond buyers he gets into the clutches of the men who will do the bidding of
Stone-Webster and while they might choose to let Ilebb get out in good shape
it would be seen to that this big plant became a Stone-Webster property.
When Ilebb power comes to Tacoma it should come as municipal power.
VAUDEVILLE IN CHURCH
Tho idea seems to be epidemic among the Protestant preachers of this
country that something in addition to religion, and indeed very different from
religion, is necessary to induce people to attend church.
Leading divines of St. Louis, Denver and Brooklyn have declared that the
church, like a mercantile enterprise, requires publicity—advertising—if it is
to achieve the greatest good for the greatest number.
"Competition is as keen in the churches as in other walks of life," says
one of these, "and the church that does the most business is the one that does
the most and best advertising."
"All modem Sunday schools," says another, "should have their advev
Using men and bureaus of publicity, just as the modern mercantile establish
ments have these adjuncts."
All of which, no doubt, has in it a great deal of practical sense.
But this method is extremely mild and tame, besides that of the- New
York pastor who has introduced vaudeville into his Sunday night services.
This pastor, whose Baptist church is in the midst o£ a Sunday night the
ater district, has made up his mind that he isn't going to let the shows take
his congregation away from him without a fight, and he has introduced into
his Sunday night services a whistling girl and "the largest and most com
pete set of musical glasses ever plavoa before the public."
He is getting the crowds all right.
But what the crowd gets is the question.
Maybe a little religion appetizingly sandwiched in entertainment is bet
ter than none.
Maybe the religion that is subordinated to other things is worse than
none at all.
Never yet did all people agree upon any religious question. Nor will they
agree on this.
The pity is that the preachers who are worrying over vacant pews do not
realize that religion itself, PROPERLY PREACHED, is the most attractive
thing that can be put into a pulpit.
RECORD FOR BUTCHERY
A German court paper boastingly issues figures showing that, during his
30 years' career as a sportsman, Emperor William has killed 70,000 pieces of
game, including a whale.
Emperor William didn't need one of these 70,000 pieces. He killed for
the love of killing. As a bloody butcher he has probably made the record.
Much of his "game" had been kept in the royal preserves for his killing and
was driven up to his gun to be slain.
Why shouldn't a king who thirsts for gore have his private slaughter
house, where he could go and knock down beeves, or stick pigs, and see the
blood run? It would be just as sportsman like in the eyes of all people who
•re not possessed by the rage to kill.
The Tacoma made show indicates
that citizens here could get along for
awhile if the city was shut off from the
outside world.
Great is the influence of a majority
vote. A month ago nobody was invit
ing Ernest Lister to come and cat at
their expense, now everybody 13 send
ing him telegrams insisting he come
and put his feet under well laden tables
to partake of the fullness of earth.
If the city is going to pay the state
$1,400 a year for that harbor area some
thing ought to be done with it to make
It produce revenue.
Jack Johnson is taboo because he
said he could get any white woman.
Had he stuck to saying that he could
get any white man, he would still be
rich, honored and beloved, wouldn't he?
Every mother wants the curfew law
applied until it hits her daughter.
— ; TT~ ' | "
&T^&*Jvz~FT*£gßßgn>_ . mm^ IRCP^W^. . '*J9^L'''' • >T^*- nil/WTCC Ilmslnes. Office Main la.
editorial Pa^e of Cftc Cacoma "ijitTKUt ptES,HSE^!!
If Republican Chairman Rupp wants
ta adopt the socialist plan of organiza
tion to start the republican party ovor
again, he ought to pay roj-alty to the
Debs fellows.
Forty women have taken out licenses
to shoot deer in Colorado. This will
boom transcontinental travel via South
ern or Canadian Pacific, all right.
"I have freckles, liver spots, pimples
and hair moles on my face. How shall
I try to remove them?" —Elizabeth H.
Don't try it, Lizzie. Try for a vaude
ville stunt, as a freak.
Madero has begun arresting Mexican
editors for "lese majeste". This is
where the Mcx advertising managers
have a ha ha coming to them.
The municipal power plant, looked
forward to for years, is a reality; now
let's get in and use the juice and make
it a winner.
THE T^ACpMA TIMER
"WHEN CHILL NOVEMBER
THE LITTLE STORY OF YOUR
PERSONAL FRIEND DR. WELSH
j DR. WILLIAM HENRY WELCH.
\\ h.n the first man was made
out of dust (or was it when he
ate that apple?) a pesky little
microbe sneaked into his midst
and set up housekeeping in the
first gent's intestinal tract.
That germ has been man's
faithful companion ever since.
Many's the rumpus he has kicked
up, hut all down the ages the
doctors never found him and
didn't know where he was.
Then along came Doctor
Welch. He discovered that hid
den and heinous microbe greatly
to the astonishment Of all the
learned docs in all the world.
And then and there a learned
European scientist, who nam«-K
our multitudinous microbes for
us, called this particular speci
men the "baccllus Welchi."
Thus Doctor Welch's name^be
came famous in foreign lands. In
our land, however, he had lons
been famous. Besides being
medical advisor extraordinary off
and on to your Uncle Samuel, bfe
haa for many years been the f»re
tnost man in Johns Hopkins .knl
versity, where he has turned out
regiments of doctors, many of
whom are noted practitioners.
Aa chief family doctor to Uncle
Sam, he always makes good.
When T. R. decided to cut the
liiMiiiuph . *s throat at Panama
he made up his mind that the
first thing to do was to stop yel
low fever down there.
"Call In Dr. Welch!" he or
dered.
Dr. Welch came, and T. R.
told him to pick a Panama sani
tary commission. He did. He
named Col. Gorgaa to boss the
'S SURLY BLAST," ETC.
Job. Everybody knows that Col.
Gorgas made the canal strip as
healthy as the beach at Atlantic
City.
That, you see, is Dr. Welch's
strong suit—first . of all he
kuows how to do it, then he
knows somebody else he can get
to do it. That was how In
made his university and hospital
famous; how he has made the
Rockefeller institute at .' New
York, which he helped organize
and inspire, the greatest medical
research institution in j America;
and how he is now enthusing
the Carnegie institute, at Wash
ington, on to greater deeds for
the benefit of mankind.
It Is a well known saying in
the medical profession that
where you run across a big med
ical committee,.' commission or
convention, there also you'll find
Dr. William Henry Welch, and
like as not he will be chairman
or president.
Two years ago he was elected
president of the American Medi
cal association, of which he had
long been a trustee. Much of the
triumph of the association's long
and succeeding fight against the
nostrums of ' quackery is due to
Dr. Welch. "
Dr. Welch comes of a "medi
cal family"; his father was a not
ed physician; so was his grand
father. Re was born in, Nor
folk, Conn., April 8, 1850. i"-^
Inconsistent .:
"Life la full of inconsistencies."
mused the philosopher.
"Yes." replied the cynic, "In dry
towns people lay aside most for a
rainy. —Buffalo Express. >f
QUIPS
His Tints.
"When I lust, saw him, Jabbs
was green with envy, yellow with
jealousy, white with fear and red
with rage."
"What a highly oollored life hJa
must be." Baltimore American.
Xot There.
Waiter —Have you tried our
turtle soup, sir?
Diner —Yes, I have tried it,
and my decision la that the turtle
proved an alibi!— Sidney Bulle
tin.
More Compliments
The Maid —Billy Drown says I
have the prettiest mouth In the
world,"
The Man—Did he? I'd put
mine up against it any day.—En
glish Magazine.
"I have to entertain a Chinese
diplomat. What do they like to
eat?"
"Odd things; things Impossible
for an American to get, such as
shark fins, bird's nests and eggs
200 years old."
"I think we can fix him up on
that egg proposition."—Kansas
City Journal.
"Madam, I understand that
your daughter helps you dally
with your housework."
"It s true."
"What royalties would you
charge me for a moving picture
reel of this most unusual sight?"
Washington Herald.
Gabe —What do the baseball
umpires do during the winter?
Steve —I diinno. I guess they
must collect bills and servo dis
possess notices.—Cincinnati En
quirer.
"There is one thing queer In
British politics."
"What's that?"
"They bring out their whips
for their own party when they
want to beat the other one."—
Baltimore American.
How She Knew
Mrs. Shopper—How do you
like my new Oriental rug?
Mrs. Hopper (scanning the rug
critically)— Are you sure it Is
Oriental?
Mrs. Shopper—Sure! Why, I
stood by just as it was being fin
ished by a Turk, or an Armenian,
or a Persian — I don't know
which."—Judge.
Means to Be Economical
Bridegroom—lsn't |S a great
deal for that intelligence offloe to
charge for securing us a cook? '
Bride Perhaps, love; but I
won't change more than once a
week. —Judge.
Melancholy
1 "What makes you think that
man has a melancholy disposition?
His remarks are always highly
optimistic."
"That's the point," replyed
Miss Cayenne. "Only a person of
meloncholy tendencies would have
to go to bo much pains to cheer
hlmsalt up." —Washington Star.
Tuesday, Nov. 12, 1912.
WHAT IS THE "CUTEST"
SAYING YOU EVER HEARD?
What is the cutest saying you ever heard from a child?
Kvorybody's tiny boy and girl is saying bright things every
day, so their fond parents I«-li>>>- ■•-
Very often a youngster does s|»rlng something precocious and
clever that we all might smile over.
For the best Child's Haying sent to the Times this next wwk
there will bo paid a reward of $1 .OO; the Saying need not be origi
nal, just so long as we ran find a sunny smile In It.
Write on one side of the paper, attach your name and addres*
and send it along to the Joke 1 :«l itor of tiie Tacoiua Times.
MORE JOKF.S FROM IIABYIjAXD
"Tommy," said his mother reprovingly, "what did I tell you I
would do if I caught you stealing jam again?"
Tommy, thoughtfully scratching his head with his stiokly fin
gers: "Now thats funny, ma, that you should forgot. So have I."
A little boy was caught swearing by his mother, who told him
by way of reprieve that God was always at his side and could hear
every word.
Later the same youngster was sent on an errand. A large dog
followed close at hla heels. Suddenly the boy turned and said:
"Go on buck home, dog. It's bad enough to always have God
following you around, let alone a dog."
"Freddy, you shouldn't laugh out loud in the school room."
Freddyr "I know, teacher, but I wae only smiling wh«n, all
of a sudden, the smile juat up and busted."
"Say, mamma, are we made of dust?"
"Yes, dear."
"Well Jimmie wants to know -why wo don't g«t muddjr when
we drink."
Little Clarence, aged 4, was about to move to Seattle with lilt
parents, and was offering his last prayer In Tacoma.
He said: "Well goodby, dear old God, we're going to Seattle
to live and I know we'll never see you again."
Ever libodu^ $dte§K
Triecl W %>
BY BER.TQN I3EJALE.V
I wrote a very clever play
And told my dearest friends about It,
Declared that It was blithe and gay,
They smiled and said they didn't doubt It;
And each one whispered in my ear
"I'll read my play to you somo day,"
And so I'm asking far and near:
"Who hasn't tried to write a play?"
The milkman and tho plumber, too,
The man who cornea to get tho ashes.
The cook who cooks our daily stew.
The carpenter who fixes sashes,
Have all essayed dramatic art
And have some drama hid away,
And so I query from the heart
"Who hasn't tried to write a play?"
Diogenes, with lantern lit
Went searching for an honest mortal
He paused at everybody's portal.
And with this odd archaic kit
A longer quest than his I plan.
About the world I m-ean to stray
To find the woman, child or man
Who hasn't tried to write a play!
SMILE AWHILE
"You See, It Was Like
This—"
The New Preacher.
Uncle Nat was telling Aunt
Dinah about the new preacher
at tlie colored church.
"He's a pow'ful smaht man,
most Bpecally in de mattah ob
prayer. Why, he axes Ter lota
ob things dat dig niggah neber
knowed de Lawd had!" —Judge.
Shdectl/mief/!
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mch mix. MALT (MM EXTIACr. IN rownct
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MT loihVon "HORLICK'S'*
T»k» • pa«k«4« home
While poring o'er th« dally press
Such Items strange we reed,
It looks as though the human form
Had changed Its shape. Indeed I
Wo note a horde of hornets atung
Jim Jones' tn his back yard.
(Could any doctor locate that?
It might be passing hardl)
Bill White's cow hooked him in
the barn!
Miss Nancy Collins' cat
On the piazza scratched her deopl
(What DO you make of that?)
There's tragedy lurks In this fact.
That dear Great Grandma
Standing
On Sunday morning fell and
bruised
Herself upon the landing!
I've searched through physiologies
Cor.aulted my M. D.
No one seems wise enough to tell
Just where these hurts may l>a!
—New York Times.
Mrs. Edmund Vance Cooke was
telling her children of an adven
ture she had a number of years
ago. She had gone to a pionlo
and was strolling by the bank of
a stream. She had stooped down
to pick up what she thought was
a stick, when 10, It moved. It
was a deadly water moccasin.
•'Would you have died if the
snake had bit you mother?" asked
one of her children.
"I should probably have died."
"Goodness! When did it hap
pen—long ago?"
"Before I was married."
"Mercy! And if the snake
wooda bit you, we'd all have had
to be born in an orphan asylum,
wouldn't me?"
Roslyn
Lump Coal
GRIFFIN
TRANSFERCO.
Four Big Yards
Main Office 930 C st.
Tel. Main 589