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Thursday, Sept. 23,1018.
Our Hong Kong Kolum AND Talk o' the Times BY SELAH AND CHINA BOT There was a young Simp from I Obo, Who took his best gal for a row. Along came a "twister," His hands are all blister, And the rain ruined Genldine's bow. a ■ a THI. FAITH riRK "You say Lorreta's case is one of faith cure?" "Tea, both the doctor and drug gist trusted her." • * • NOT GOING "I say, wot's the time old girl? I'm invited to dinner at 7 and my watch Isn't going." "Wasn't your watch invited, too?" • • • A NI.AT AND THOROUGH JOB A St. Louis politician imported his cousin from the country and had him appointed a smoke in spector. Without any definite in struct ions the new official was turned loose to inspect.. This is the report he rendered at the end of the first week: "1 certify that I have Inspected the smoke of the district assigned to me for the week last past. I find plenty of smoke and appa rently of good quality." OLD NICK NIMBLE No. I — Ton know, boy* and stria, that th* innakal longe ia termed th* "wolf of thn water* " AJao he la the only aah that ha* an ex ores iloo in hie ere mm WLoS )t^ BN» WLO Jf^J AMR..CAfIfc?J Z> Mlany Mellcan man allasamee think silence golden—if just could keepee mouth shut would be blachelor. a a a 9 <t> 9 SIMON L. I'RTH, t) »$> Hardener, 4> 9 Brookline, Mass. <5> t********^ **♦«■»♦♦♦• a c a NOT KNOVt.II STEAM A prominent Providence, R. 1., attorney tells the following story of a colleague: He always taps his immense fund of funuy stories when II court and never falls to put judge and jury In a good humor. Once he was conducting a ca3e, and turning to the Jury madd the following remarks: "Don't put too much faith In what my opponent says, gentle men. When he begins to talk his brain ceases to worK. He's like the little steamboat down South at the river town where I was born. It had a five-inch boil'.r and a seven-inch whistle. The result was that when the whistle blew the steamboat stopped!" a a a FOLI/OYVING OKI>I.US Pastor —Tommy Jones, what ever has happened to your head? Tommy—l went to the barber's to get my hair cut. The barber asked me how I wanted it done and I told him like papa's with a bole in the middle! § OUTBURSTS OF EVERETT TRUE § No 2 1 hooked a big one onoe In th* gulf bat th* cunning rascal shook tha trolling ipoon out or hi* mouth and cam* aa near laughing at me aa a flab can. "I just read an article in a magazine—'How to Meet Trou ble.' " "I'd like to find one: 'How to Dodge Trouble.' " SELAH. T»E TAOOIIA TUfXS / ANSWERS....! % l\ By Cynthia Grey J %/miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiniv# Q. —I am going to write you a plain letter, and I hope you will answer it aa plainly. 1 have been working for two years, and in this time have met a great many people; both at work and outside. Now I have Just about come to tha conclusion that there is no "happy medium" in the different kinds of boys. What is your, and j "in* readers' opinion? Either you find that they are so fast that you are almost stunned, or else they are so stupid they bore you to death. Usually they seem ail right at first, but most or the time before you have known them two or three days you decide that it is in'.-t to be an old maid for a while at leaHt. They seem to take it for granted that every girl Is crazy 'I'mut them and give you to understand that you are honored In their company. Ugh! Every day, Miss Orey, you will find girls who are perfectly decent, you may say that It la all right to stay at home, or to pay your own way places, but really this gets tiresome. I hope I have not written ton much to print, but this is the case all over, and I think a good answer by yourself will help lots of us, and get the opinion or others who have tried and know this new generation, so we cuu find out If there are really any "betwixt and between." AN AUMIKKR. A.—ln honor to tho memory of those lioya who were my friend* when a gh I. boys who were mentally, morally and physically clean, but not stupid; out of nisi In* to tin- men who are my friends now, anil to those 1 meet in my dally walk of life who are kind, sincere, intellectual and upright; not dull, conceited or seirish, I feel It my duty to contradict your statement that there are no men or boys good enough for a good girl. Unn'l infer that all the boys and men I have ever come in contact with were good. I believe I have met more who were not. None of them were perfect; but I have met enough who were as good at, the beat women I ever knew to tlioroiighly ••on vlnce myself tliat ther Is such a "happy medium' 'as you descrll>e, and ua many "betwixt and between" men at. there are women. If you will observe iiiimiin nature closely, you will soon discover that people as a whole, tlie wide world over, are inteni|>erate In all things. They go to one extreme or the other. I attribute tlie wide spread Immorality of which you speak among young people nowadays to nothing more tlian tlie Intemperance In dress of our glrla and young women. Intemiierance In dress makes them lnteni|ierate in actions, and very often causes a boy to misjudge a well-meaning girl, urn not saying that this la, or ls not, the case with you; but never theless, I feel sun- that In some way you are at fault, unconsciously. You have stated your opinion; I Imve given mine, utid after nil, we are only two among a world of billions of people; consequently, our opinions do not stamp as false or true the actions of those wo have been discussing; it would not bo just to measure the world by our handful of acquaintances. I will be glad to print anyone else's opinion on this subject. Q. —I am a boy of 17 who has lived in the country until re cently. lam troubled with blackheads and pimples. Could you give me a safe remedy to remove them? I_. S. S. A.—This information waa in-lnti-d recently. Send self-addressed, stamped envelope and repeat request. q_—win you kindly tell me what will remove leather stains from white stockingß? % SUBSCRIBER. A.—Scald in hot water to which a liberal amount or washing soda has been added. Q. —I am one of three married Hiters. The oldest ls in the same circumstances as myself. She has her own home and a comfortable Income. The other, although married ten years, has nothing. Her husband's money ls spent over the bar treat ing the "boys" while bills remain unpaid. Food ls never lack ing, but she has nothing she can call her own. At any objec tion to her husband's conduct, he becomes a raging tyrant and threatens to wipe the three of them off the earth. Among stran gers he is affable, smooth-tongued and gentlemanly. Atter ten years of this lire, my sister and her child are ner vous wrecks, while her huaDand Is healthy and hearty, drink seeming to have no effect on his constitution. We have talked to him many times, even threatening him. Each time he will swear to God that he will do better, but he soon forgets. My sister either loves him or ls afraid of blra, for she will not leave. Her health is very poor. Her clothes and amusements have come from my married sister and I. We do not want to Bee her sufrer for little pleas ures while we hav»e everything. Do you think we are encouraging her husband to depend upon us? Shall we let her sutrer ror the ordinary necessities and small luxuries or shall we furnish the things that ls her hus band's duty to obtain in order to make her comfortable? TWO SISTERS. A.—ln a way, It would seem that you are encouraging your sister's husband in his selfishness and dissipation. Then again, such a scoundrel would no doubt neglect his wile and child Just tlie name even though you did not relieve him or any of Ida responsibility. Your sister Is really the only one who can change conditions. She should put the law between her and her husband and then foroe him to do his part. If she refuses, there is little else you can do. Q. —We have had an argument and are not in a position to secure the information here which would settle it satisfactor ily. Perhaps you can give it to us. How did Burn* become ohamplon of the worldt When Jeffries retired, to whom did he give the champion ship? Did Jack O'Brien ever fight Bob Fitzslmmons? Waa there ever a heavyweight champion of the world? If ho who? Thank you very much. OUT-OF-TOWN SUB. A.—On July 8, 1905, Jeffertoe refereed bout (after hla retire nn-m) between Melvln Hart and Jack Root, won by Hart In 13 rounds, presenting title to winner. Burns defeated Hart by derision in 20 rounds at l."s Angeles, Feb. 28, 1000, and won several Important matches after, until he had eliminated practically all claimants. Fitzslmmous boxed six rounds to no decision with Philadelphia Jack O'Brien at Philadelphia July 23, 1900, and was knocked out by him In three rounds at Frisco December 20, 1907. There have been Innumerable heavywelglis champions, tlie most famous of whom were John I_. Hulllvan, J. J. Corbet*, Jim Jefferles, Bob Fitzslmmons, Jack Johnson, Tommy Burns, and Jeaa \\ lllard, present champion. ___________________________ No. S After jpeing to* uw big flab twice I deter minad to go after him right I dor* to tuaale wit hjml A m*mr ngbt enauedj This Youngster Is a Climber an(f*Wader —Photo l»y Jackson. JOKKIMI IIAKOIiII IIAKKit. Altliough on wouldn't know It by his picture, this boy ls as brown as the proverbial berry, having gotten his russet complexion wiuling in the waters surrounding Hay Island, where he and his family lived this last summer. Joseph Harold, besides bulng an enthusiastic wader, Is a moun tain climber, having ascended Mt. Tacoma to Gibraltar Rock, five miles past itecses cani[i. He Is seven years or age; the possessor of a number ot bunnies and banluin chickens and is the son of Mr. and Mrs. Harry Baker, liv ing at itegents Park. Personal - and - Social A card |Nirt.y will be given by Liberty Hell temple, No. 8, of tha Pythlau Sisters at Eagles' hall Saturday evening. The social department of l*-p --worth league of Mason M. B, church, North 2 Bth and Madison streets, has planned a novel en tertainment for Friday evening. A track meet that will rival in in terest and excitement a real col lege rield event wtll be field in the liaseitiKiit of the church, .elab orate plans have been made and decorations that lend a genuine collegiate aspect to the affair have been arranged. A commit tee in charge of Ray Messlngale is in charge. < Mm. Thayer's children and adults' dancing classes, ill.'l No. 6th. Main 7508. "Adv." The I,allies' Auxiliary of tin Salvation Army will give a sup per in the hall, 1137 % Commerce, Saturday evening at 8 p. m. The proceeds are to be applied to the annual harvest festival effort. Mr. and Mrs. William A. Mur ray are receiving congratulations of their friends on the arrival ot a baby daughter. Mr. and Mrs. A. B. Howe will leave Friday lor a several weeks' trip in California. Mr. Howe will attend the stationers' con vention. ______—_. _ Mrs. Hinton Denny Jones enter tained 35 guests at a tea yester day, honoring Miss Genevieve Birmingham, who will leave shortly lor California, and Miss No. 4. - Taken by ntrpriae thi* monater l**p*d with me forty faat in the air I Am cam* Own I got him Bqner* In th* beat a»d held h imfa*t| Th**»lr<rwedhomel Meba Noonan, who will make her home In Portland. Tlie women's auxiliary of the B. of L. K. will meet Friday at the usual place at 2 p. m. A good attendance ls desired. Miss Florence March entertain ed yesterday at a bridge tea, hon oring Miss !■- rin i Rlggs and Ii t guest, Miss Bess Chun, of Roch ester, N. Y. Six tables were ar ranged in a bower of flowers. Mrs. < tuirle* Jones entertained a number of friends yesterday at a luncheon and outing to La Grande. George P. Fishburne, assistant U. S. district attorney, returned yesterday with his bride from Charlottesville, Va. Mrs. Flsl. burne's father ls an eminent at torney. The couple will be at home to their friends shortly. Members of the Westminster guild of the First Presbyterian church will be entertained at a tea Sept. 27. The tea will be progressive, starting at the home of the president, Mrs. George Cli ck, In the Drury apartments, go ing from there to the homes of Mrs. David L. Soltan and Mrs. Charles Owen. O. Hugo Hansen, chief engineer of the steamship Melville Dollar, and Mrs. Hansen, are guests for a fe wdays of Mr. and Mrs. B. J. Hackett, on South O st. Just as you are a part of the great Nation of the United States, so are you a part of your municipal community. If we were at war with another Nation, what would you think of a townsman who deserted your flag, went over to the enemy, , and fought against you and your people. The conditions are exactly the same if you buy out of town, instead of buying from your local merchant. Don't forget, your interests are better conserved, if you stick to your own people. BY WELLS PAGE TlVh TODAY'S HI- \ I TV AIDS To clear up and whiten the ■kin and secure that charm of pink and white youthful fresh ness so much dealrej by all women you will rind It far safer to rely upon a good face lotiol rather than powder. To get rid of that shiny and muddy ap pearance In your complexion, dissolve four ounces of spurmax In one-half pint hot water, and add two teaspoonrula glycerin. Apply this to your lace, neck end arms, rubbing gently until dry. Tint, lot'on does not show oi tub orr like powder and is much bet ter. It is splendid lor removing tan, Ireckles, pimples and sallow ne.«s. Yon can make a delightful shampoo for a very trifling cost if jott get from your druggist a package or canthrox and dlssoha a teaspoonrul In a cup or hot water. Pour a little at a time on the scalp and rub briskly. T'lla creates an abundance of title*, white lather that thoroughly dis solves and removes all tiandrufr, excess oil and dirt. After rinsing. the hair dries quickly, with a iliiiiiii.-s that makes it seem heavier than It is, and takes on a rich luster and a softness that makes arranging It a pleasure. TRY NEW WAY OF LAYING BLOCKS As an experiment of the dura bility of paving blocks made from Puget Sound fir. the T. It. * P. Co. ls trying a new manner o( wood paving between its trackß on Puyallup avetiue, from llth to l.Uh. The blocks are laid on a sand cement cushion, which is placed over a concrete base. The blocks were mnnuractured In the St. j Paul ft Tacoma Lumber Co.'S creosotlng plant. GLASSES rtJPGold Filled d* f tPVGlasses forV-l DR. RUST, Graduate Oculist. Free Oculist Examination, Kye, Far, Nose and Throat Specialist. I will fit your eyas with a pair of my FAMOUS I.UPI.nX I.IiIN.SK in gold filled mountings foy 81. I hare handled this lense for over eight yearn aad hare fitted the eyes of several thousand In the city of Tacoma who Will recommend them. I r PI.R4SBD PATROIVB Fred Shan, t ouotr Detective. Mr*. A. A. Bllcas, 1013 No. I at. tin. W. S. thank, Slti He. X ■!. O. J. Joknaon. Real Ratal* to. Mr- R. O. rat rick, Ota Marker ST. Paulaoa, K. H. Sla. Act. ■s. O. IVeraon, 1101 Mortk waaamaat, O. B. Lawrence. Ml* Wo. Mfc. Mm. O. J. Ilardlna. BOM «tk ay Mrs. P. Dora, 30S0 80. t et. In, J. M. HuKllte.-, BSI4I Be. Prospect. OL D. RMpamer, MaAleer Bla. Mr*. P. 1.. S»e«r, BBS Ma. !_. DR. RUST 882-38 Provident Bldg.