Pullman herald. [volume], December 15, 1916, Image 6

About Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989

Image provided by: Washington State Library; Olympia, WA

                
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ALBUMS 1
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A Large Assortment of ;
BUD VASES I iL n J
rtt t pmno Leather V^OVered
. BILL FOLDS .
BOOKS Cain Rnnk<?
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QIGAR JARS
CIGAR CASES TVTUT BOWLS
CAMERAS ■*■' i
CANDLESTICKS -™.
CLOCKS PERFUMES
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PnATHANrVRS PLAYING CARDS
COLLAR^BOXES POCKET KNIVES
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CRIBBAGE BOARDS t^av^do
RAZOR HONES
QCLLS
DESK CALENDARS O HAVING STANDS j
SHAVING MUGS
SAFETY RAZORS ' I
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Adulterations
orei mmm
Christmas Dinner
by tJ«o^jeV.hotarl'^MHp|^
;l,!t' sivc> :l Christmas dinner to
&A** ,!" ilss '"',,"i I'ollection of petri
'" '' r(,lations'-
Take " from ""'' '"1-il!'' lienmio
Friend wife concluded it was up to
,:s '" >{l''''7'''' a few uncles elm! aunts
into in- Iby -1 dining room and throw
turkey wings at them, see 1 coaxed
my nervous system io behave and told
Gregory Smith and Aunt Bessie. Then
she went in, took another look at
the dining room and stopped.
I invited Kudllawley^, his wife Sybil,
»nd Hep Hardy, and explained to them
thai we would all have to sit edge-on i
at Ih<' <:lt'' and Set our meat cut in !
tho kitf , h( , tli so us to aV()U , hiltlnj , j
each other on the funny bone, and it
was so ordered.
Hep arrived early. He always does.!
He generally breezes in with the in
formation that four pages of tango
music are waiting for him in some
hoof palace, and he has to hurry away,
but on this occasion he. concluded to
see the fight to a finish.
Then the other members of our (lin
m-r parly began arriving and the mad
revel was on.
I. : ele p 0 ter brought a friend—the
famous food expert, Doctor Smother
.'">- ' j
The doctor is a high card with Incle
Peter.
He is °°c of those old ginks with
beady eyes and a license to hunt for
germs, and everything he eats has
fllst to Rive tlu> countersign and then
*° through a written examination.
Uncle Peter believes every word
that leaves Doc Smotherjoy's face, but
'", "J part 1 think lls'' M ',1" (':l'"-!
,I At any rate, no sooner were we seat-
At any rate, no sooner were we seat
od at tho table than Doc parted his
whiskers carefully, coughed to attract
attention, then picked up a little-neck
cla,v on the en.i »,f nis fork aml pro
( "The adulteration of foodstuffs these
pbos;,h,.s even here on this clam."
"nt a little tabascos on it and cut
loose'"- suggested ismi \
lt "Have lemon," said Hep. wish." ' j
» oxer the clams and make a wish.'
Uncle Peter listened with marked at
tention. while Uncle Gregory glanced
at his clams and shuddered.
™° do t c h tor a,e Ic!,meTnl,ii,7.,',il'.H- l
-lifted a spoonful thoughtfully, then
sloshed It slowly back into Ins plate,
While the two anklet eyed him ner
vously.
"It's hullvon," whispered Uncle P.
{"r- anxious to prove the soup's in
nbcence.
"Here," said the doctor, examining
his spoonful critically, "here are
traces of hydrophospkates and aboutW
ten per cent philharmonic acid."
"I never eat soup," gurgled Uncle
Greg, -'because It's a waste of good
space." ' • ""• "
The doctor said nothing more, but
quie.ly surrounded his. soup. :-.
When t i ie fish was served the d.><
tor dam-ed over bis plate with his fork
and said, "Hydrostatic acid with here
and there symptoms of manganese
germs and a few sulphide microbes*
Uncle Gregory pushed his plate back
wilh :l si«h ,h!" I,itiful «" 1'"="--
I'-a.hes was mm so nervous that
her hands were doing a shaker dust,'
oad ,i"':'' was ■ big pink spot on
each cheek.
The others at the table, with the
exception of nervous old "Uncle Greg
"r'V ' l"11 1 not ,I|(' slightest attention to
„,rl;iis'v,'lt'''
Kven Uncle Peter threw away his
Ki-nn fear after the clam episode, and
N,'X' "* il:"! s"""' turk*'y With
ftSparagUS tips.
When Uncle Gregory saw till this
his face broke out in a smile, and we
°°uld St>e llis "IH'ctite roll up its
holding up a turkey wing on his fork,
"in this we lmve v cold-storage tur
** *»>«•■»• <- been ,r^ „„ .*.!
ulit' a '"1 ""1 chloride ol potassium
to Ju-ep it in a shivering state."
"bout these things, becav.se here, on
the elbow of the wing, I find traces of
w,,isMw'l,lC >uM ovor thp«»*»»»■»'»■*••
"'rv'thiTtime several ..'hers Jul:
pressed, ami the dinner party was 1...
-ginning to assume tin- cheerful as-:
: I'-'1 ">' :i meeting of martyrs an hour
before the arena opened.
lifter tin- pangs .if hunger had beaten
him tei tile ropes.
"Here we lind." croaked the .lee-
lor, raising a forkful of mashed po
latoes, "here we lind one of the most ,
»bim water to give it the appearance
!"> being modern, while its eyes have !
; been treated with belladonna to make
'hem bright and "MPPy."
i Uncle Gregory groaned pathetically,s
»n(l the rest of us, out of politeness,
"''''' to look interested, but only sue
i .led in looking seasick.
When the ice cream and cake were
brought .en Doctor Smotlierjo.v drove
-his Sl>"°" ,lmv" deep into the ehoco- j
,ate a,ul vanilla mixed and said, j
"Here is a Pitiful, Illustration of .what
dishonest tradesmen will do for 1
1!|l""'\- 'lore we find thai some of
tl,is i'l' '''•''""' was pale originally,
but it was treated with aniline dye to |
pive it this chocolate effect, anil then
'»aked in the sun to deceive the .-ye.
'»" the other hand, we tin-! this va- '
";,!:l w;ls originally dark and forbid
!lin ~- hm " lliis ' " treated with per
oxide of hydrogen to make It more of |
"Pardon me. doctor. snapped
Peaches, her teeth chattering with ncr
rousness, "but this ice .-ream was
ma.!.- in our lrttchen by our own cook, j
! "The Next Time You Give a Dinner
I Party Cut Out That Bug Doctor."
!,„,.,
wlth first-class .ream, and we never
j l," v any but homemade Ice cream, so
there!"
"Ah," **M the doctor, "then In that j
' cast ** must be traces of thanatonals j
lphUj.see, and the evidence i.s con
; elusive that a great deal of artificial
i frappe has „t'l'll used- nevertheless."
"X "' thank you«" said ,'"''l,' <;'"''«-'
1 ory' "I never eat ice cream, because
;'* 8°« to my head and makes me cold
to my friends." .^.
I' '"Take-this coffee, for • instance,"
! chortled the doctor, juggling a spoon-
I !"' wlth the left hand ami four lumps
i "'" "f-'!ir with the right. "Herein
! J" "u will find copper salts,;iodide of
7 hlcor a four per cent solution of
J'"liul,lS- together with about a six
f""l^ of a grain of mocha to the cup
ful-"
! " x"- thcnk you," gasped Uncle
i Gregory; "I never drink coffee; it
j & iv" s ,m' the hiccups."
! After the dinner was over, Uncle
(:i' <'gory took me outside' and wdiis
'",|V,l: "John, for the love of a
! oMsatsl heaven, the next time you give
j * ,llnn('r party cut out that bug doc
v "I'd since that bitter evening.
I (Copyright, 1916. by the McClure Newapa-
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