AMATEUR AT THE OPERA HOUSE
AS TOLD BY THE VILLAGE CLOWN
I never knew till last night, fel
low citizens, what a lot of .budding
talent was going to see in this
boy's size burg of ours.
Listen to my tale of woe! It was
amateur night at the opera house,
and today you can't buy an em
balmed egg for love of lucre, and
they'll have to dry clean the back
drop before you can tell whether it
represents a street in a large city
or a cottage home by the sea. An
.jinusually large, feverish crowd was
ouf, expecting that I'd douear in a
BY FRED SCHAEFER.
"THE QUARTET LEFT THE STAGE BY INSTALLMENTS. THERE
BEING ONLY ONE HOOK.''
monolog. Well, maybe some day
I will appear, but it'll be in a hol
low log. Tee-hee-hee! It's safest.
Those who did not have the moral
courage to welsh got all that was
coming to me.
Tid Nubbins was first with n
clog dance. He got his practice
stamping on the plank sidewalk
that adorns Main street. He
escaped under the cloud of dust he
raised, the stage being some deep
in talcum powder shed by the Par
isian Peaches Burlesque company,
which held the boards the night
before. Next came a song, "Daisies
In the Meadow," by Miss Lillian
Lupe, who has an ambition to break
out of the village choir into grand
opera, said ambition being defeated
by her weight, 90 pounds, and a
conspiracy of managers who have
heard her warble. She is one of
the daisies that will have to stay In
the meadow.
The audience was more respon
size, In spite'of the police, when
the Barbershop Quartet came on.
They were to have sung " 'Way
Down Yander in De Old Cornfield,"
and the crowd Insisted that they
sing it there or not at all. The
quartet, left the stage by install
ments, there being only one hook.
The scream was by the Welser
brothers. Bud and Feder, German
knockabout sketch. It certainly
was a sftetch to knock about. Get
that? Feder was the low comedian
and But was the tall one. Sample
joke: "Isß your fader still In ehail
yet?" "No, he iss ouid." "Dats
goot." "No, id Sia'd; he's in der
penitentiary now." "Dot's bad."
"No, id ain'd; he Iss innocent."
"Dot's goot." "No, id ain'd; he's In
for life." "Dot s bad." "No; id's
goot; he ain't got long to liff."
(Thud!) They received an encore
—that is, as much of it as didn't
splash on the proscenium arch.
I should not fall to mention the
sentimental ballads by Arthur Bast*
meadow, silver toned baritone. One
was entitled, "Take Mother's Plc
ture. Frptrj tjie It's Hanging
lips'ide Down." Another was
"Home Don't Seem the Same to Me
Since Someone Stole the Plumb
ing." Just then someone turned out
the lights, and he finished his act
dark, with "Darling, White I
Dream of Thee, Sew Buttons On
My Shirt." As they couldn't get
the range with the lights out, Ar
thur was freshest at the finish, and
was accordingly awarded the prize,
which was a full set of nickel
plated coffin trimmings donated b,y
our leading livery and undertaker.
The name (flate is already en
graved "Nellie." and Arthur may
find it very useful if he can find a
girl of that name and if he mar
ries her, if he doesn't die before
she does, if he still has it when she
does die. Altogether the affair was*
a delightful intellectual treat and
will be repeated when time has
healed the wounds of those who
took part.
EVERETT'S BEST BET
X MY tf/)/R CUT //V *SEV£M
}\Yf/9/?$ /F rttM £L£C//0/V
If OSS T#£ tYKOHC WAY.'/ {
PUTS ON NEW ADDITION.
J. W. Osborne, who has success
fully promoted Monroe park and
Spring Hill additions on the north
hill, announces that he will put a
new addition to be known as North
Monroe addition on the market in
a few days, probably by the last of
this week. North Monroe addition
consists of 2SS lots, some of which
are 55 feet in width and the bal
ance 50x1'.'4 to alley, adjoining
Monroe park. Streets are graded
and water mains will be laid in
front of every lot.
DEMOCRATS PUT
ON RED FIRE
FINISH
** 9
Political enthusiasm was aroused
to a high pitch by the street meet
ings in the whirlwind finish of the
democrats last night. All the pent-'
up feelings of a rather quiet presi
dential campaign were loosed and
men of all shades of political opin
ion gave one last, long yell for
their favorites before the opening
of the battle.
' The demonstration was orderly
and conducted in a good natured
manner throughout. There were
two carriages and two automobiles
in the democratic procession, each
conveyance being manned by two
speakers and a full escort of the
faithful.
The opinion was expressed be
fore the meetings began that the
young democrats would lack the
nerve to speak in the open air
street meetings, but this surmise
proved to be wrong, as all the
speakers went at it hammer and
tongs, and seemed to be Inspired
with j-enewed vigor as the crowds
cheered lustily at every point
made. Democrats believe last
night's finish was the red fire event
of the campaign, as thousands
heard the appeals for the cause of
the Nebraskan, who had not at
tended a democratic meeting.
In the first carriage were R. F
Collins and Thomas A. Scott; O. J. |
Saville and R. L. McWilliams occu
pied the second; P. B. Keaney and
J. R. Sovereign the third and J. M.
Wiley and H. D. Merritt the fourth.
There were five stopping points in
the downtown district at which the
different conveyances halted, one
carriage following the other in the
order given. The chief meetings
were held at F. W. Smith's, where
tlie crowd of election plungers had
assembled, and at the Conner of
Stevens and Front, in the working
men's district.
.The Taft supporters assembled
near Smith's occasionally inter
rupted the speakers by yelling for
their favorite, but on the whole a
good hearing was given.
.limmie Durkin acted as marshal
of the day In the effort to maintain
peace and harmony nml any en
thusiast who became too loud was
immediately engaged in a political
debate by .limmie, who as a rule
was soon master of the emergency.
The main crowd set up a cry for
Durkin. in response to which he
was finally induced to ascend a
carriage and deliver a speech. The
effort was heartily cheered and
.limmie made a hit.
R. F. Collins possesses a voice
well adapted to outdoor speaking,
and on this account commanded
close attention.
R. L. McWilliama' youthful ap
pearance caused some admirer in
the audience to cry out. "Go to it,
kid," which provoked a laugh.
J. R. Sovereign, the for&fsr labor
leader, said he knew Mr. Taft, that
he had reason to remember him,
as "Taft injuncted me off the face
of the earth." •
•It is estimated that 3.000 men
were assembled at the meeting at
Stevens and Front. When the big
red automobile came up some one
raised (he cry that it was a repub
lican turnout and all efforts to
maintain order were for a time
without avail. When the crowd
learned from Fred Schade the true
political complexion of the meeting
tilings became quieter. After the
departure of the automobile
Schade addressed the assemblage
BRIDEGROOM IN THE BRIG; GORMAN
HEIRESS PLEADS HARD FOR HIM
. J
DESERTER MAGNESS' WIFE LEAVING THE LANCASTER
WHERE HER HUSBAND'S A PRISONER.
I Special Correspondence to The Press
WASHINGTON, Nov. 2—Mrs.
Ada Gorman Magness, daughter of
the late Senator Gorman, Is work
ing valiantly in behalf of her
youthful husband, who is held as a
United States prisoner for having
deserted.froni the navy.
She is about 40 and he is 23.
They were married secretly in
Louisville in September. Mrs.
MagnCßS had inherited from her
father, who died a .year or two
ago, $100,000 in cash and $125,000
in bonds, which were placed in
trust. Magness was a good look
ing musician in the navy. He was
also a member of the orchestra in
a church of which Miss Gorman
was a devout member.
Since the bridegroom was torn
from her side he has been a pris
oner in the "brig" aboard the re
ceiving ship Lancaster at the
Philadelphia navy yard. He was
the first naval prisoner to get the
benefit of the new law which does
not insist that a captive be put
iiT iron? Magness occupies a
snug Bxß cell. Like the other
for nearly an hour, in which he
almost tore Front avenue asunder
by the terrific force of his on
slaught.
In the crowd at Smith's some
one not better posted remarked on
seeing P. B. Keaney arise, "That
fellow must be a Scotchman."
"No." said another, "he's an Eng
lishman. Don't , you hear that ljon
dofl! talk of his." A third silenced
the discussion as to Keaney's na
tionality by yelling out, "Hurrah
for old Ireland." Keaney had
reached for his shillelah on the
first cry, but he laid it down at the
last and lit into the republicans.
O. .1. Baville, the candidate for
prosecuting attorney, created some
fun by alluding to the fact that
some people because of his "aid
head had mistaken him for Prose
cuting Attorney liarnhart, hence he
had concluded he was Barnhart's
logical successor. He likewise laid
some claim to socialistic support
on the ground that some had ac
cused him of looking a whole lot
like Eugene V. Debs.
At 10 o'clock a crowd of social
ists, who had been attending a
meeting, bore down on the gather
ing in front of Smith's and from
that time forward, until after mid
night, the contending forces made
the air ring with their cries.
WOMAN SAYS HE
THREATENED HER
Andrew Larson, railroad con
tractor, was arrested at his home,
20oi Gardner avenue,, this morn
ing on a warrant sworn out by
Mrs. Larson in which she charged
him with threatening her life.
NICHOLS REPORTS GAIN
OLYMPIA, Nov. 3— According
to the report of Secretary of State
Nichols, insurance companies have
paid into the state treasury $3:18.-
--287.02 in taxes and fees for tlte
two years ending September 30,
1008. The amount paid during the
previous two years was only $241,-
--340.52. The amount Is grncter
this year by |96,94?.10,
9
KILL WILDCAT WITH ROCKS
EPHRATA, Nov. B.—A wildcat
was killed in Ibis city yesterday
by two farmers who fought the
beast with Btanes. As the men
were driving Into town they saw
what appeared to be a coyote de
vouring r. rabbit. They charged
It with : toner, but before the tight
wa ■ ever their quarry prov ed lo be
a wildcat.
THE SPOKANE PRESS
sailors at the navy yard he sub
sists on "slum and codwilly,"
which is in striking contrast with
his high life at Louisville. At the
time of his arrest he carried $6,000
in cash and $18,000 in government
bonds, and nothing in the Ken
tucky Delinonicos was too good for
him. Sailors who have seen him at
the yard rate him "a pretty keen
guy" and say he was foolish to de
sert.
Mrs. Magness Is thoroughly de
voted to him. She followed him
to his Philadelphia prison, and
then came to Washington to in
tercede in his behalf with the
navy authorities. So far she has
received cold comfort. In answer
to her pleas the officials have said
that nothing can be done, and that
Magness must be dealt with as are
other prisoners. The Gorman fam
ily influence is strong, however,
and a way may be found to return
the prisoner to his bride.
Magness will be arraigned be
fore a eourtmartial in November.
He may be sentenced to serve a
term of from 18 months to three
years.
REPUBLICANS
STEAL MARCH
The republicans in the organiza
tion of the election boards in Spo
kane this morning stole a n|irch
on the democrats. At some polling
places the regular democratic elec
tion officials jvore not on hand, and
the vacancies were filled by the
republican inspectors, on whom it
devolved to fill the vacancies.
It is said that in filling these
vacancies, the republicans had
democrats selected whom they had
reasons to believe would not be too
insistent on the points of dispute
that sometimes arise in the de
cision of close election contests.
BANKER DESERVES 80
YEARS IN PRISON
PITTSBURG, Nov. 3.—With one
mora Indictment pending against
him in the United States court,
William Montgomery, convicted
looter of the Allegheny National
hank, is facing an %6 year sentence.
It took a jury less than two hours
to decide .Montgomery was guilty
of misapplying Pittsburg Brewery
bonds, aggregating $144,000.
fto was found guilty previously
of embezzling 1469,000, Prosecutor
Dunklo expects to go to trial with
the third Indictment next week.
WATCH «
"How were you able to whip the
Austrians one to four?" was ask
ed of Napoleon.
"I,knew the value of time." See
Cohen. 4't-l Riverside. »♦»
Lost.
Small brown purse containing
tnree diamond rings, a small
cameo ring and some Silver, Suit
able reward. Phone Maxwell 2280.
Mrs. H C. Bee be, 400 Shannon st.
GREAT WESTERN FILM
EXCHANGE
Moving Picture films, Machines.
Slides ami Accessories rented and
sold. Special attention shown to
patrons In Inland Empire.
Chicago Service at Your Door.
OFFICE: 512 Main Aye., Spokane.
Anyone reading this ad having
Mends in the moving picture busi
i r.ess will confer a favor < s both
' uni ties c incerned if lhay will men
' ten this to the:r>.
THE A TER
AUDITORIUM.
There isn't the symptom of a
aoh in the Shirley "Hello Bill" bill
this week. It's a clever mixup of
nonsense that requires Rood acting,
but no effort on the part of the
audience to enjoy the situations.
Mr. Amory and Mr. Gunn have the
two principal roles.
ORPHEUM.
Classy vaudeville describes the
entire bill this week, a bill so uni
form that, every number is given
first choice by various patrons. It
is rather unusual for a monologue
to rank with other leaders on a
bill, but that is what "Happy Jack"
Gardner is doing. The seven num
bers offer a varied range of enter
tainment.
PANTAGES.
There is nothing set to slow
music among this week's attrac
tions. This is especially true of
Walter Daniels' lightning charac
ter change act. The Heras family
have another rapid fire act in acro
batics.
WASHINGTON.
Something different from the
usual run of vaudeville is filling
the house this week. A novel and
attractive number is Professor
Patterson's bronze art studies in
real life. The Levinos are getting
a flattering reception on their re
turn here.
SPOKANE.
Cowboy life on the frontier Is de
picted "In Wyoming," presented
here Thursday evening. The genu
ine article is promised by the man
agement in the way of range
heroes.
Belle —Did Fred find marriage as
elevating as he thought it would
be? Jack—No; it failed to lift him
out of debt.
Chas. H. Muchlniann, Mgr.
ONE NIGHT ONLY
THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 5
The Stirring American Play
"IN WYOMING"
With an exceptional cast of
players
This is no melodrama.
Temptation prices, |1.00, 75c, 50c
and 25c. Seats today.
TWICE DAILY, 2:30 & 8:15 P. M.
Felice Morris and Company
Castellane and Brother
The DeHaven Sexaet
Eugene and Willie Howard
Sinton and Laurence
"Happy Jack" Gardner
Bissett and Scott
Orpheum Moving Pictures
PHONE MAIN 311
PA NT AGES'- THEATER
E. Clarke Walker, Mgr. Phone 1398
UNEQUAL ED VAUDEVILLE
WEEK COMMENCING SUNDAY
MATINEE, NOV. IST
The world renowned Heras Fam
ily, 9 —in number —9, sensational
acrobats. 'Burt Weston & Co., "The
Medicine Man." Derenda & Green,
creative juggling comedians. Wal
ter Daniels, up-to-date character
studies. Boulden & Qutnn, merry
men of music. illustrated song.
Pantagescope,
First evening performance at
.7:15. Matinee daily at 2:30, any
seat, 15c.
WASHINGTON THEATER
HIGH CLASS VAUDEVILLE
WEEK COMMENCING SUNDAY
MATINEE, NOV. 1
A Special Added Attraction
DOLPH AND SUSIE LEVINO
in
"Hypnotizing a Wife"
PROF. PATTERSON'S
FIVE STUDIES IN BRONZE
Depicting the World's Greatest
Paintings
Mallla & Bart, comedy acrobats.
Smith ii Brown, singers ami
dancers. James J. and Myra Davis
Dowling in the roaring farce, "A
Snapshot."
Matinee every day. Two shows
every evening. Prices —15 and 25
cents.
THE AUDITORIUM
11. C. HAYWARD. Mgr.
Phone M. 1242.
183 D WEEK
TONIGHT AND ALL WEEK
The Jessie Shirley Co.
Presenting
I Hello, Bill
Wednesday Sp
Thursday Special at
The Uogue
All Pattern and High
Grade Trimmed Hats
In this sale will be Included quite a number of very
high grade large hats; also a good showing and large
assortment in medium and small tailored hats, which are
greatly in demand at present.
THE HATS SHOWN DURING THIS SALE ARE
ABOVE THE AVERAGE IN STYLE AND CHARACTER
THAT HAS MADE THE VOGUE POPULAR.
Millinery Material
THE VOGUE is the acknowledged headquarters for
millinery materials and at much less prices than you
would expect to find similar goods elsewhere.
The Vogue
SPOKANE'S BIG MILLINERY STORE
917-919 RIVERSIDE AYE.
LEGAL AID FOR POOR
ST. LOUIS, Nov. S. —A Legal
Aid society, with Attorney William
S. Uedal at its head, was added as
a department by the Self Culture
Association Hall, Eighteenth anl
Carr streets. The society will give
free legal aid to the poor of the
district. Mr. Bedal w ill gi' c on*
night each week to hearing case.;
and giving advice.
STOCKHOLDERS' MEETING
The annual meeting of the stock
holders of the Columbia & Red
Mountain Railway Company will
be held at the office of the secre
tary on the third floor of the Great
Northern Railway Depot building,
in the city of Spokane, at 3 p. m.,
November 9, 1908.
W. H. FORTIER,
Secretary.
Spokane, Wash., Oct. 30th.
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Price
Lump Coal $7.50
DELIVERED
Best furnace coal on tha
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NELSON COAL A WOOD CO.
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Victor Talking Machine*
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9 .