The Spokane press. [volume], February 06, 1909, Page 4, Image 4

About The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939

Image provided by: Washington State Library; Olympia, WA

                
4
THE SPOKANE PRESS
Published Every Evening Except Sunday
By the Spokane Newspaper Co.
UNITED PRESS ASSOCIATION NEWS SERVICE
Delivered by carrier, twenty-five cents per month, $3.00 per year.
By mall, twenty-five cents per month, $1.25 six months, $2.00 per
year. No free copies.
TO MAIL SUBSCRIBERS —The date when your subscription expires
Is on the address label of each paper. When that date arrives. If your
subscription has not again been paid In advance, your name is taken
from the list. A change of date on the address label Is a receipt.
CIS Front Avenue.
Telephone Main 375.
Post off) *c Box 4.
"SIR: DONT WRECK MY HOME!"
They do some things extremely well over in England. For in
stance, a man wrote letters to another man's wife beginning: "My
Little Duck." That is not the thing well done—nor is it peculiar
to England.
Rut there is more to tell. The following letter to the man from
the husband turned up in the London divorce court:
"Sir: May I appeal to your honor as a gentleman, and beg of
you to cease paying attention to my wife, Mrs. Wegener, and cease
making appointments with her.
"She said to me you are quite honorable, and I hope you will
act In that way. Surely it cannot be your intention to break up our
home, and make miserable all concerned in this family."
Now. most anybody would readily bet that so straightforward
an appeal would be effective.
Bttt not so. The only response the husband got was this from
his wife:
"Dear Willy: In answer to yours of yesterday. I can only tell
you that it is of no use whatever to come back here again. My aver
sion to you is so great that it would be utterly impossible for me to
live under the same roof with you. Yours, Elsa."
Whereupon the injured husband went to the divorce court, and
In spite of the extreme difficulty of securing divorce in England, he
was granted a decree and awarded $5,000 damages against the
"honorable" man.
It is all a small affair.
In our own country, where divorces are so shamefully common,
it may strike many as being a small affair indeed.
Rut it must strike many others that this husband's letter is a
peculiarly pathetic one, appealing directly for all that an honest
husband must hold most sacred.
Surely this deluded wife made a sadly erroneous choice of an
'honorable" man. giving up the true gold for the dross.
———— I
THE JAP NONSENSE
A wire from Roosevelt stops the wheels of California legislation
and another telegram sets them going again, while the governor
burns the midnight oil concocting special messages to show that
Roosevelt and Root know better what's good for California than do
the several hundred Californians* especially sent to Sacramento for
the state's good.
"Don't do anything to embarrass Mr. Root's recent agreement
with the Japanese representative at Washington!" is the cry of
Roosevelt and Root, and Gillette does the parrot's part. It is about
time that this "treaty." "agreement." "understanding," or whatever
It is that Secretary Root and the Japanese minister of foreign affairs
have cooked up should be made public in all its details. How far
have the interests of the people of the Pacific coast been sacrificed
in order that Root and that ministerial Jap at Washington may kow
tow to each other with honorable smiling faces? To what extent has
the national administration agreed to suppress legislation by the
Pacific coast states?
Of course this deal, of Root's with that high Jap at the capital
Isn't a treaty. Root hasn't the nerve to root up the national constitu
ton lo (be extern of making a treaty, individually and under the
hat with a foreign power. ll' it isn't a treaty, if it Isn't something
binding and based on the constitutional powers of the state depart
ment, it is low down cowardice to permit California to be held up by
the throat, while Root and his coffee colored crony make a little
cheap reputation as diplomats across their cigarets, gin and sake at
Washington. ,
And along comes Gillette, whinnering ocr his doubts about a
Stale r constitutional right to establish schools that suit her and to
isolate aliens whose peculiar vices and diseases don't suit her.
The national and state administrations are simply pettifogging
with issues whose settlement is vital to all the Pacific coast.
THE PROUD PUSSY.
Not many years ago there lived
a fat. soft pussy called "Gray Fur."
His_ fur was thick and long, and
Gray Fur was so proud of it that
he used to think that there were
no other pussies in the world as
beautiful as he.
Now Gray Fur had been told by
mama cat that little pussies must
be kind and polite to their friends.
A jot Soft bus* collecl''' r Gro.yTurT
and purr softly and never scratch
unless a big dog conies along to
hurt than.
But Gray Fur said: "Look at my
lovely soft coal and my yellow eves
aud clean whiskers! 1 cannot run
across the back yard fence and
climb dirty trees with other puss
ies—l'm too handsome for that.
And just common cats sit around
and purr and chase empty spools.
Touimer and Kitty Cat and Fluff
may admire and purr with me
when I'm In good humor, but tbey
niusl keep their distance and re
member who I am."
And then one summer day when
Gray Fur was basking in a sunny
open window, something long and
queer fluttered down off the wide
window sill. Gray Fur jumped
hack, and then put out one soft
paw curiously to see what It was.
His psw stuck! Then he put down
another paw to help pull the first
paw off, and what do you think!
|n a moment he was all tangled up
in a big sticky piece of fly paper!
Oh! how frightened he was. And
the more he pulled the deeper he
got into it. Finally he was covered
all over with it, and was running
around the room meowing pite
ous! y.
Fluff and Kilty Cat and Tommer
heard the noice and pattered in to
see him. "Help me!" m-eowed Gray
Fur. They only stared round eyed
at this wiggling, bouncing pussie
that didn't look a bit like Gray Fur.
Mama cat hurried in and she saw
what to do. She went l ight to her
mistress and reached up and
lapped her hand and rubbed her
head against it.
.Mistress knew mama cat was in
trouble, and soon found out what it
was.
Qray Fur did not look pretty for
a long time after the fly paper had
been cut away and soaked off.
Some of his lovely fur had to be
cut off, too.
I And he wasn't proud after that.
'He was glad to have other pussies
play wilh him, and he got so he
could purr just as loud as any of
them.
What do you suppose had
changed him?
IF 'TWERE AS IT SOUNDS
"REGINALD . STOOD , TRANS
FIXED AT HER REALTY."
lii making an effort to knuw him
self, the average man wastes a lot
of time that he might spend in
forming more agreeable acquaint
ances.
Entered at Spokane,
Wash., aa Second
Class Matter.
||>tues
ttOSTAMIHING
A WORD FROM JOSH WISE.
"Some men
who would lead
a better life
claim it jerks
erway from 'em
every time.
The sinking of the Republic
gave the wireless a fine lot of ad
vertising, at any rate.
They are now forming women's
clubs In Turkey. Next to being
Young Turks the ladies over there
THE BATTY VILLAGE CUT-UP ENLISTS
TO ROUND UP A HORSE MARAUDER
BY FRED SCHAEFER.
JUDGE SKOOVERS MISSING SORREL.
Whoa!—l mean. Halt! Who goes
there? A friend? Advance, friend,
and give the countersign—two
snorts and a whinny. Hell, it's
only Ben Dibbs, and I thought it
was a sinister evildoer. Oh, shucks!
Excuse me for being on the elert,
fellows, but I've joined the Chicory
Connty Rangers, and we're after a
horse thief. Please show me a
horse thief. Never mind, we'll trail
him to his doom. All we need is
the postofflce address of his doom.
Then we'll surround it and nail him
when he sneaks out to curry his
booty.
Excitement reigns in Ileeleysport
and vicinity. Someone had the gall
to steal old Judge Skoover's sorrel,
it was a very rare specimen of
lorseflesh, one that can't be re-
placed, all the other horses in the
country being worth something-
When we catch the thief we're go
ing to try him for lunacy. Bibb
Tadden thought he had a clew, for
he heard the galloping of hoofs last
night. Now, if he had heard the
galloping of a horse, his clew might
be worth following up. Also, a
stranger with a white nag was seen
passing through Poderstown, and
some thought it might have been
INTIMATE CORRESPONDENCE
By RATH
Then arc some men In congress
who ought to he written up every
clay. I mean favorably written up.
They are fighting the fight of the
nuder dog—the people's fight—
against great odds. One of these
is Victor Murdoch of Kansas.
Every time I see or her Victor I
feel Uke hitting him on the back
and yelling: "Go it, red head!
You're right. We's with you. Hit
'em agian. And again. And once
more, if you've got an ounce of
wind or muscle left."
Scene: Committee rum at United
Stales capitol. Mahogany, tobacco
smoke, soft carpets and an air of
mystery. Three United States sena
tors are discovered in close confab.
Aldrich—l have a scheme. We
will Issue a summons for Herbert
Knox Smith, commissioner of cor
porations. He has the papers.
Culberson —Fine. I don't care
bow you do It; but we ought to
make the president knuckle under
in this raattre.
Klkins—He'll have to. We called
for all the data on the absorption
of the Tenneessee Coal & Iron Co.
by the steel trust. Damn It, we
must have the goods.
Aldricn (to clerk i- - Make out the
necessary summons and get it
served on Smith. Quietly, but
quickly.
want to be new women. i]
It should be a source Of Mtne
sort of comfort to those who travel
by sea that they can no longer per
ish without the world knowing it
is taking place. rw <
Now if that Oklahoma woman
who ahs discovered 301 ways to
cook corn will invent a way to eat
it off the cob, gracefully, she will
actually accomplish something.
Here's a tip to women who in
sist on wearing trousers—don't
stop to fix your hair, or a cop will
get you.
If a bullfrog is a fish, why isn't
a tree toad a bird?
(Drawn from a description.)
old Judge Skoover's sorrel painted
while. Only this horse didn't look
hungry, so that exploded their
theory. The judge is pretty wor
ried, for he is afraid that whoever
took it will feed it beyond recog
nition. He says the sorrel was of
pure Gold Oust strain, but Ike
sledge, the village ulacksmith, says
he must mean bone dust. Ha, ha,
ha!
Some good detective work has
been done on the case, and every
suspicious character has been scru
tinized. I've been scrutinized six
times myself. Nearly every mem
ber of the Chicory County Rangers
has found a loose horseshoe and
brought it in for identification. Say,
what's old Iron worth a pound? The
judge let them being in about a
half ton of shoes before he remem
bered the sorrel hadnt' been shod
in two years and had dished Ifoofs
resembling sleigh runners.
On the strength of the vigilance
displayed by the boys, the Rangers
are going to give an oyster supper
and hope to raise funds for a pair
of nickel plated handcuffs.
It's certainly high time some
thing was done, for if old Judke
Skoover's plug was tanen, nobody's
horse is safe. Hee-haw!
Curat am.
Scene ll—Same. (Thirty minutes
have elapsed.)
Enter clerk.
Aldrich —Well, man, speak.
Where is Smith? What's the mat
ter with you?
Clerk (trembling)— Please, sir.
Aldrich—Well! Well!
Clerk —Please, sir, Mr. Smith had
already given up all the papers to
the president, and the president
has let It be known that he intends
to put them In his satchel when he
goes to Africa.
Chorus—Zounds! Drat! Hell!
Stung again! II
You see, it is this way. Rurnham
planned the new union station.
Speaker Cannon and the real es
tate grafters planned the new of
fice buildings for the senate and
house. And now the house ring
has planned a Lincoln memorial
which will serve as an ornamental
fence and driveway connecting the
railroad station with the office
buildings. Which plan Is favored
by Rurhnam and Cannon and the
real estate ring. Hurrah for Lin
coln!
It's only a matter of time till
people begin to say nice things
about you—but you will be too
dead to appreciate them.
THE SPOKAatf P*ES4>j SATURPAV, FEBRUARY 6
DAILY SHORT
STORY
AN ANGEL ARRESTED
"Ye're arristed, mum!" bawled
Officer O'Rourke, as the flying
green car in front slowed down so
that his humming, throbbing.motor
cycle pulled up near enough for
him to be heard.
"Ye're arristed, mum, for ex
ceedin' the speed limit and scarln"
a good half ay the men, women,
babies and horses in the park out
of their Rinses!" he called again,
as No. 2383 came to a standstill
and he could pull along side.
"Ye're arristed, mum!" he an
nounced for the third time, as he
dismounted and faced the smiling
lady of the car. "I take ye into cus
tody for makln' ay a new record
through the"
Then Officer O'Rourke's great
rosy face grew pale and his twink
ling gray eyes grew sober.
"Snakes of Saint » athrick!" he
cried, crestfallen. "It's the blessed,
good lady of Delmont street!"
The good lady of Delmont street
laughed like the ripple of a far
away brooklet. "It was a splendid
chase, Mr. O'Rourke!" she cried,
her blue eyes agleam. "And the
Green Comet could have pulled
away from you, If I had willed it
so."
"And I don't know about that,
either," retorted Officer O'Rourke,
perking up at the challenge. Then
his ruddy, cheery face became
gloomy again. "But, faith, madam,
ye're the one that brought pink
roses to me Timmie when the lad
near died."
The lady colored, though she still
smiled. "Tut, tut!" she scolded.
"What's the harm in that, Mr.
O'Rourke?"
"Harm, harm!" spluttered Officer
O'Rourke. " 'Twas a blessing, good
deed, and may ye live till ye're a
million —but 'tis not Michael
O'Rourke that will arrist ye."
"Oh!" protested the lady, "but I
am already arrested —three times—
"I RESIGN," ANNOUNCED OF
FICER O'ROURKE, SHOVING
OVER HIS GILT lIADGE.
for exceeding the speed limit, for
scaring men, women, babies and
horses, for breaking the record
through"
"Hut ye scattered a carload of
potatoes over the Tin Can ward
when the laddies were starvin',"
continued Officer O'Rourke. "Sure
and I'll not affrist ye till the sun
turns green as Ireland!"
"Yes, yes, Mr. O'Rourke," said
Hie lady, soberly. "It Is your duty,
you know, and it was a clear vio
lation. Come on to the station."
"No!" thundered O'Rourke; "not
for a thousand harps ay gold!"
"Come on," repeated the blessed
lady, and she wheeled the green
car about.
"No!" declared Officer O'Rourke.
"I'd tear me stripes off first."
"Come on," said the lady for the
third time, very firmly. "I don't
mind."
"No!" said Officer O'Rourke;
"not for a deed to Tipperary!"
But, as the good lady of Delmont
street was station bound on her
own account, at a rate that threat
ened to do things to the speed reg
ulations once more, No. 42 of the
park squad had no choice but to
follow and to follow fast. As he
went, however, he mumbled sul
lenly, swearing every green and
gold oath he knew that he would
rather lose his right arm, and al
most running down a careless
pushcart man In his abstraction.
At the station, the drowsy cap
tain roused to receive two clamor
ous visitors.
"I'm arrested." said the lady,
smiling bewildering]}'. "How much
will it be this time. Captain
Daly?"
"I resign," announced Officer
O'Kourke, shoving over his gilt
badge. "I won't arrest on angel."
The captain stared at his sub
ordinate in surprise, but the lady
laughed musically.
"Tell Officer O'Rourke just how
many times I've been here for
speeding,' she directed. "Tell him
about my wild speed streak, and
tell me how much this time."
The captain grinned broadly. "I
think, if you'll deposit $25, ma'am,
there'll be no need of you bother
ing to come back." And to Officer
O'Rourke he said: "This is the
forty-eighth time for Mrs. In in lap
this season, Michael. She likes It
and she's rich —she can afford It.
Don't let It worry you, man." And
ho returned to Officer O'Rourke
7%e Doc Cite* a Remarkable Case
"Speaking of strange discoveries in surgery, professor, I am re
minded of an operation I performed In which 1 found the vermiform
oppendix in a very unusual place."
"You arouse my curiosity, dostor. Where did you find Reattached
to the colon instead of the caecum?
"No, I found it in a bottle of alcohol in my office. You see, I
had forgotten that I had removed it during a former operation."
[WHAT WOMAN,
'EVER KNOWS'
BY MUX DOMINO
The man who talks to a girl about his own qualifications is after
a wife. The man who talks dimples and eyes wants kisses.
A married man has more personal liberty than he thinks, and a
bachelor less freedom than he knows.
When a single man talks much and often about the folly of mat
rimony it's a sure sign that some girl is going to receive a proposal.
Lovers are generally mistaken. Those doubtful of victory couldn't
escape matrimony if they tried, while theose sure of winning often
have to guess again.
gilt badge No. 42, park police.
As the green car sped smoothly
away, Officer O'Rourke refastened
his beloved emblem of authority.
"No wonder she's a speeder."" ho
murmured. "Angels are just that
bound to fly."
And Officer O'Rourke thought
again of a great cluster of pink
roses by the bed of the child of his
heart.
HOME HINTS
Cinnamon extract added to choc
olate blanc mange or fudge gives a
delicious flavor.
Polled rice, mixed with apple
sauce and sprinkled over with
brown sugar is a delicious Holland
dish.
Choose beets that have fresh
tops and earth about the roots. If
beets look clean they may have
been wilted and plumped up again
by soaking in water.
Sponge cake will be yellow if
cold water is used in the mixing.
It will be white if boiliftg water is
used.
If bread or cake tins are washed
with soap the dough will probably
stick to the pan.
Spread about one or one and a
half tablespoons of sweet milk or
cream over the top of pie crust be
fore it is put Into the oven to bake.
When the pie conies from the oven
It will be a beautiful brown and
the crust flaky.
ABRAHAM
LINCOLN
Souvenirs
Just received a large con
signment, 15c up to $10.00.
Honor his memory by deco
rating your home with one
of these beautiful souvenirs.
Keeth, Batley &Co.
The Art Dealers
717-719 SPRAGUE AVENUE
WAIST BUTTON FOUND
IN HIS HEART
DENVER, Col.. Feb. G.—
An autopsy on thf body of
Fred Pompleitz, who was
found dead under circum
stances indicating foul play,
revealed a strange condi
tion.
An ordinary black waist
button was found lodged in
(he right auricle of Pom
pleltz's heart. The button
was bent and warped, and
the doctors say that It had
been in the man's heart for
a long time. How It got
there is not known.
The
ELECTRO
DENTISTS
518 RIVERSIDE AYE.
1 door east, Hill's shoe store
Dental work can he cither
had or good. If had work Is
done, there Is little chance
of you ever coming to that
office again: you couldn't uf
ford to. If the dental work
Is good, you will always rec
ommend the good office to
your friends and will come
back yourself. The Blectro
Dentists do good work, and
because of it we have today
the greatest clientele in the
state of Washington. You
may search to your heart's
content and you will not find
a single dissatisfied pntlcnt.
Kvery piece of work wo have
turned Oil) has been perfect;
there could not be a just
complaint. If we have treat
ed you wo fool sure that you
have recommended us to
your friends. If you have
Beyer been our patient, we
would like to talk to you
when you are figuring on
having your leelh fixed.
PHONE MAIN
469
FOR MOVING VANS, MESSEN
GERS AND LIGHT EXPRESS
WAGONS.
INDEPENDENT MESSENGER
& RAPID TRANSFER CO., INC.
2 Keys
To Every Box
Two keys are required
to gain admiaaion to a
Safe Deposit Box in our
big fire and burglar proof
vault.
You keep one and we
keep one.
Neither can open the
box without the presence
of the other.
Neither can anyone
have access to your box
unless you give a written
order to that effect.
You can rent a box In
our vault for only $5.00 a
year. Come in and see
them.
Union Trust
Company
OF BPOKANE
Tha Marble Bank Bldg.
SHERMAN,
CLAY $ CO.
Steinway (EL Other
Pianos
Victor Talking Machines
810 Sprague Aye.
LOTS IN BEAUTIFUL^'
Spring Hill Addition
$273 to 9400.
See
J. W. OSBORNE
317 Rookery Building.
THE EXCHANGE
NATIONAL Bank
CAPITAL AND SURPLUS
$1,250,000.00
OFFICERS
Edwin T. Coman, President
Thos. H. Brewer, V. Pres.
C. E. Mcßroom, Cashier
E. N. Scale, Asst. Cashier.
The large capital, coupled
with conservative manage
ment, appeals to those seek
ing absolute security. A fully
equipped savings department
offers fair Interesc for ths
wage earner.
QUICK
DELIVERY
COAL
PHONE
MAXWELL 3333
Screened at the yard be
fore delivery.
The beet prepared fuel
■old in Spokane.
MOTHERS
Are you satisfied with
the BREAD you use -
at your table?
If nut, jiibt try Minneapolis bekory.
Ask your grocer for It.
FACTORY, 0617 ASH STREET