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Editorials, Comments Humor, Features Published every evening by the Spokane Newspaper Co. Telegraph service furnished by United Press. 116 Division Street. 'ilfeS: Entered at Spokane, Wash., as Second Class Matter. Telephones—Business, 375; Editorial, 376. THE PRESS DELIVERED—By carrier, 25 cents per month. By mail, payable in advance: One month, 25c; 6 months, $1.50; one year, $2.50. PRESS-ADVISORY TICKET ENDORSED BY THE FARMERS AND THE LABOR UNIONS. United States senator—Miles Poindexter, republican. Congressman—W. L. LaFollette, republican. Supreme court judge—Non-partisan nominees. Prosecutor —John L. Wiley, democrat. Sheriff—George EL Stone, democrat. Auditor—X. W. Butler, republican. Treasurer—Zach Stewart, republican. Clerk—Glen B. Derbyshire, democrat. Assessor—Glen Creighton, republican. Engineer—C. L. Graves, republican. Coroner—Dr. Titus, democrat. Commissioners—First district, William R. Roy, democrat; Second district, Warner Cobb, democrat. A Thousand Years of Sausage f Hail to the sausage! The luscious fruit of a combination Of pork, spices and meat chopper is vow celebrating its tone thousandth birthday. And in Austria and Germany •bappy folks are singing: "We're happy and contented when wine and music flow, For sausage was invented a thousand years ago!" It was in the tenth century that the tasty pork sausage flras given to a deserving humanity, and it was not until 4JOO years later that Germany began introducing spices into the sausage, which immediately gave the product of Jhat country a world-wide reputation that time and time «6an nev<*c-«rase. H A few years ago a sausage exhibition was held in Swit zerland and over 1700 varieties of suasagos were on view •—more than half coining from Germany. Making sausage was in the gold old days of long ago a Tjueen's recreation. A wife's ability to make good saus ages counted for more than wealth and beauty combined. f*>ay, those were days! Then the fat little porker was a thing of beauty and a veritable gold mine. — To appreciate sausages one must have been born and Jteared "'back on the farm" where day was getting the '■jriß**!''» HiPHfleady on "butchering" day—such a day of flays to the "barefooted boy" on the farm! Grandma got the casings ready, you and "Bud" turned the crank of the chopper through which was fed the cut bits of ]>ork and bread crumbs. And how the starving tribe went after those sausages all winter long whenever they were sighted on the breakfast table! It's a wonder jre didn't "evolute" into porkers ourselves. No, you can't get those sausages at the corner butcher shop. There is only one place where you can get them, and that is "back on the farm." j; This is the open season for sausages. Mistake us not in our definition of sausage. " Hot dogs" and "canned bowwows" are NOT sausages, within the meaning of the Word here expressed. Here's wishing for many more birthdays' for our good old friend THE SAUSAGE. PENCIL POIMTS Uncle Kitchel Pixley says: "Don't seem to make no difference whats the game, that Walter Wellman'a always pretty close up to the record for gittin" free advertising, anyhow." ii •••••• Here's Diogenes' honest man! Sheriff Madden, asked why he didn't Serve the warrant on John Deitz, replied. "Because I was afraid of him " •••••• tf«„°, ne °! V ,OM ? al,oonißt s racing from St. Louis fell 18.000 feet into a Canadian lake and got all wet. •••••« r«m ! !7? rt " ,i, l H b r ter COCKtaM ' chabli «- champagne, filet mignon, punch romaine, salad fll*U*e and cognac are a few of the things they set up for fcee.-o.ary yon Meyr, at that San Diego banquet. With all this n fWnrge. what in thunders the need for a battleship fleet on the Pacific •••••« Paris ate S4O tons of snails the past year. You cook 'em in oarlic ftnd butter, crack their shells and with a fork lift out -oh well mv aren't afraid of being seasick while getting back to America, after that! On the day that James J. Hill told the conservation congress that the trouble with the American people "is not high cost of living but cost of high living" six hundred children went to school in St. Paul without their breakfast because their parents were too poor to feed them This happened almost in sight of the Hill mansion, or palace Those children JJ,ve "100 high." • *•••* "The only basis of fame," said Charles Sumner, "is service to man kind. ' Jonathan P. Dolliver, dying in the prime of life Is. far surer of remembrance lhan his predecessor, Allison, whodied in old age or than and Hale, though they live to be a hundred. • ••••• "Dolly Dimples," having disagreed with her San Francisco fiance ask* Cynthia Grey what to do with the engagement ring "Return it " says Cynthia, "posslbiy he's TOO BASHFUL to ask for It." We love Jlynthia We don't want to say one word to interfere with her mission t telling the ungodly stupid what to do in a pinch, but we must inter ftoee to Inform her that there ain't no such "possibly" in the tree up Which she's now barking. • »••»» Dolls are taking the place of dogs with New York society women. TF» a new fad from Paris. It's progress, all right. Even New York hapbands may become the fad, Bonietlme. but they had little show •long' there were decent dogs to be had. .c•• • ' • # , One of Bellinger's assistants Is studying the California oilfields. Oralou.. Peter! is there anything in California thai th< Standard Oil Co. • ••••• Nothing pleases and fattens up the courage of a young minister like UVlna the plate returned with the uickels all nicely burl»d below a lot m written suggestions for future sermons. FROM DIANA'S DIARY Miss Dilipickles Becomes a Bird Lady and Tries for a Big Prize Offere by the Nubbin County Corn Show. BY FRED SCHAEFER. "I WONDERED WHETHER, IP I TURNED TURTLE IN THE AIR, WOULDN'T IT MORE PROPERLY HE CALLED TURNING TURTLEDOVE." in. 1 thought I would open the ey»s of all Nubbin county when I at tempted my flight from Hestervillo to Hicksport, but I did more. I opened every mouth. Anyway, the populace stood open mouthed as I started in my aero plane to try to land at the Corn Show grounds. I was dressed in a stunning avi atress or bird lady costume de signed by myself. This and the sen sation of flying made me feel like an angel, hoping every minute I wouldn't be one soon. As I rose high 1 could hear the cheers faintly. They were soon drowned by the noise of the motor MOST ANYTHING "Here's somethin' that puzzles me. Why does a dog fight alius take place where there's th' most loafers ter see it?" He had been sent out to make an Inventory of a house. He began at the attic and worked down to the Good Management Not Chance Tlte great success attained by this institution iff" due to good management in the matter of organiza tion in assembling men of successful, conservative experience as directors and officers to manage its affairs, thereby inspiring confidence and strength** The announcement that the genuine air of cheer-" fulness would welcome all who enter, whether, stranger, friend or customer, has become an axiom,.. The announcement that the same courteous treaty meut would be given small and large depositors hap proven that small deposits will build with the in stitution. National Bank of Commerce SPOKANE, WASHINGTON. Capital and Surplus $225,000.00. OFFICERS F. |f. MARCH. President. M. M. COOK, Cashier. DANA CHILD, Vice President. JOSEPH BAILY. Asst. Cashier THE SPOrTANE PRESS and i ie thud-thud of my heart. Before long I met an unexpected peril. The air currents weren't be having, and the aeroplane wobbled and bucked. 1 wondered whether, if I turned turtle in the air, wouldn't it more properly be called turning turtle dove. By this time the people below me looked like flies clustered on a frosted cake. I wished I was on the frosted cake, too. Presently I found an easier air stratum and I was able to feel my self making progress. Could I keep up till I got to Hicksport, and win the $5000? (Continued.) cellar. When he got to the dining room the record ran: "One dining room table, oak. "One set (6) chairs, oak. "One sideboard, oak. "One bottle whisky, full." Then the word "full" had been stricken out and "empty" substi tuted, and the rest of the inventory went on in a hand that straggled and lurched across the page until it closed with: "One revolving doormat." About $600,000 of British captial has been invested in rubber planta tions in Zanzibar. "Taint worth while eraekin' that house," said Bill the Burglar. "I looked through the winder, and they are so durn poor that two ladies actually had to play on one piano." It is estimated that exports of coffee from Brazil will be less this year than for the past 50 years. I A direct steamship line between New York and Lisbon is to be es tablished. "Is it proper, Mr. Oornshucks, to say your hen 'sits,' or would you say she 'sets'?" "I don't know. What consarns me a heap more is whether she lays or lies when she cackles." The Spokane Press, Delivered, 25 Cents a Month. THE WOMAN WHO SHOPS AND SHOPS AND NEVER BUYS, MAKES DEPARTMENT STORE GIRL MISERABLE Eleanor Addams Learning Many of the Troubles of the Shop Girl's Life in Spokane. BY ELEANOR ADDAMB. In one o the big downtown de partment stores the other day I stood watching the strea mof be lated shoppers crowd in a packed mass through the doors Just a sec ond or two before the closing hour. "Is it always like this?" I asked the girl at the umbrella counter. "Usually worse," she said. "Some women Just seem to wait until the curtains are pulled down and then take that as a Signal to begin their afternoon's shopping. "We can't make a move to go or disturb the trimmings of our coun ters until the bell rings, when every shopper has left the store. Some times it's 6 o'clock or 6:4$ before we can leave." This made me wonder what the life behind the counter really was, so the next day I asked the glove counter girl to tell me her troubles. AT GLOVE COUNTER. "We don't have as many as some bf the other girls," she laughed. "Most of the women know pretty well what they want. The worst difficulty is that so many think they wear a smaller size than they do. One came in the other day and said she wore 6^. "I knew she couldn't wear that size, and put on a pair of 6%. 'They fitted splendidly,' she said. I didn't say a word." I next inquired of the pretty girl with the bobbing curls at the veil counter. Whatever her annoyances, they didn't seem to have affected her good nature. "Our homeliest customers," she said, "expect a veil to transform them into raving beauties. Lots of times some old witch will come in and try on every veil In our entire stock —big dots and little dots, flow ered lace veils and plain ones, and then decide that none of 'em are becoming." At the hosiery counter I made my oown observations. I saw ladies look over the stock of Italian silk, thread silk and cotton lisle thread stockings, in black and colors, and at the end of this exhausting sur vey say: "Well, I guess I will Just take some plain black ones today, size 9%, the kind I've beau Jetting right along—three for a dollar." Cfattortat Jiage SELLING FALSE HAIR. Strolling along further on the ground floor I stopped to talk to a haughty beauty who presided over the hair counter. Looking over a baby mountain of false hair she ex claimed: "My sakes, the ignorance of some of them people that come here! Lots of em pick up one of these here rats and ask what they're for! As if anyone nowadays didn't know! "The worst, thoufh," she said, with offended dignity, "is when they doubt your word. I'll hold a rat or a switch up to their head and they'll insist that it doesn't matcii, after I tell 'em it does. I guess I ought to know." And giving a vi cious jab to one of her loosened puffs, she handed a new customer the "Something In hair goods to day?" tlpstairs In the millinery depart ment a businesslike little woman said feelingly. "It's a wonder that all of us here aren't in padded cells. It's the hardest section to work in there is, because only one out of every ten buy, and less than that number ever had any Intention of buying." "What makes them come, then?" "Just to put In time, to amuse themselves. THE MILLINERS' TROUBLES. "We milliners are misrepresent- The Difference GOOD TEETH vs. BAD TEETH When you have good teeth, you look attractive, you feel well, too, and moreover, you enjoy life. Bad teeth always make jiou feel as though you were not welcome when you go visiting. Bad teeth are injurious to your health. Bad teeth breeds disease, and if you are ill at any time, it probably is due to "the fact that your teeth are in poor condition. We are registered expert dentists, and give you our dental service for less than one-half the price other dentists charge. Examination FREE. Rubber Plates Only $6.50 Gold Crowns Only $3.50 Red Cross Dentists Corner Poit and Riverside, Galena Block. THIS HAPPENB EVERY DAY IN THE BTOREB. Ed anyhow. So many think that we'll tell our customers anything Just for the sake of selling a hat. Now that's not so. .We would much rather send a woman of fwlth a hat that is pretty, becoming and a credit to the store than with one that Isn't." Of all the departments, the girls standing up trying on suits all day got the most of my sympathy. The pests of this department us ually come in pairs, and I saw doz ens of women, each accompanied by a relative or friend, put on suit after suit, many of which exactly corresponded with the price and description they gave, and *jhou made their escape, murmuring: "No, I don't think I'll buy today. We were Just looking around." "There goes a well-matched cou ple." "Ah, work in a match factory?" "No; he's a vegetarian and she's a grass widow." The New York Sample Store Corner Sprague and Lincoln "The House of Bargains" The biggest and best sample store In Spokane. You save one-third to one-half. SATURDAY, OCTOBER 22, 1910. Spokane, Washington Oct 25, 1910 80NG • She is not fair to outward view As many maidens be, Her loveliness I never knew Until she smil'd on me; Oh! then I saw her eye was bright, A well of love, a spring of light. But now her looks are coy. and cold, To mine they ne'er reply, And yet I cease not to be hold The love-light in her eye; Her very frowns are fairer far i Than smiles of other maidens are. —Hartley Coleridge. ♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦ Please patronize John E. Lyon, low price plumbci. Repairing a spe cialty. Telephone Max. 3525. Dlvls- Divlsion and Montgomery. ♦•• O.R.&N. New Cutoff SHORT LINE TO Wardner, Wallace.Burke Two trains dolly. Leave Spokane Ba. m. and 2:45 p. in. Arrive Wal lace 11:45 a. m. and 6:30 p. m. The new scenic route. Short trip on fast new steamer "Harrison" across Lake Coeur d'Alene. ST. JOE RIVER POINTS. Connection dally with both traina for Chatcolet and St Maries. $1800.00 Buys a lot 50x230 on Grand-, near Park; all assessments paid; terms. McCrea & Merryweather, witT *" Washington Safe Deposit A Trust Co. **" Cor. Howard aud Sprague. Phone Main 7121. German Spoken.