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Humor, Features Published every evening by the Spokane Newspaper Co. Telegraph service furnished by United Press. 116 Division Street Entered at Spokane, Wash., as Second Class Matter. Telephones—Business, 375; Editorial, 376. THE PRESS DELIVERED—By carrier, 25 cents per month. By mail, payable In advance: One month, 25c; 6 months, 11.50; one year, $2.50. Break In The Speed Lunacy We are glad to note one break in the murderous craze for speed. The Cunard Steamship company has placed an order for the biggest steamship of all. The vessel will be Bf)s feet long, with 95 feet breadth. While she will be able to make 23 knots an hour, speed will be sacrificed to comfort, and she will be a veritable floating hotel, with all a big hotel's comforts, conveniences and luxuries—and more, too, since she'll be able to give a daily change in scenery. Some day the automobile makers will build altogether after this plan—for safety, comfort and convenience, not high speed. The present day auto racing is merely for advertising purposes and gate receipts, and not much longer will tax payers' money be put up for good roads to be torn up by auto sj>eed maniacs. A few auto manufacturers may con tinue to go in for speed records, just as a few families prefer to raise game chickens rather than other breeds that perform better for the egg maket, but the auto manu facturer who finally heads the list will be the one who puts his brain and money on producing the most roomy, comfortable and economical machine, regardless of high speed j>owers. Cutting The Cost of Living A big grocer in Los Angeles has decided to reduce the cost of living twenty per cent without waiting for the government to revise the tariff or bust the trusts. This is how he does it: Sells only on a cash basis, thus saving the annual ex pense of $30,000 for collecting and bookkeeping. Customers who want to maintain a running account de posit cash and are credited four per cent interest on the unused balances. He abolishes ail free deliveries, charging five per cent on all goods sent to the customer's house. As he formerly figured twenty per cent as cost of delivery, the customer is ahead to the tune of fifteen per cent. He slashed twenty per cent from the price of all goods on the day that this system was put into practice. A saving of one-fifth of the grocery bills of the nation would add very materially to the comfort of life in mil lions of homes. If the plan works in Los Angeles, why isn't it work able in Spokane, or anywhere else? Anyhow, you don't have to wait for congress to act be fore you can try this way of reducing the cost of living. PEMCIL POIMTS WHAT three shining marks—for the voters—will be Pratt, Arm strong, and Argyll, when running for commissioners. ••»••• LOS ANGELES lawyer sues a railway company because its car hit film in such a place that he can no longer sing, fiddle or play the type writer. Gee! a fellow ought to get a whole lot for being butted out ot accomplishments like those! HEAVY bottle of milk slid off a window ledge at Detroit and hit Miss Jennie Campbell s basket hat. Police, physicians and a large crowd gathered at once, but it was found impossible to do anything for th< remains—of the bottle. BROMOBELT2ER KING didn't propose to have his daughters s>ng ing "Everybody's Divorced but Father," and so he's also headed foi Reno. AND all day long the snowflakes fell, blown hither and thither or. the wings of the wind. And all day long father and brothers shoveled coal into the furnace, and all day long mother figured on cutting dowi the grocery bill enough to buy more fuel. P. M. GEN. HITCHCOCK says those get-rich-quick sharks played the suckers for $100,000,000 in five years. And just think of 'em bit ing on Wireless stock! Why, the old bait of 10-cent stock in mines a saying $200,000 per ton was sure toothsome beside that. ALL those who haven't yet announced their candidacy for commit sioner please step forward. It was rumored today that there are a lev citlzeus left who are determined not to run. THE Harriman system has a cute little way of entering new terr tory under the cloak of independent, local concerns. And then tin same •local" roads put on the Harriman garments. Witness Strahor and the North Coast, which is now a branch of the said Ilarrima system. MM, MM, MM! Los Angeles is trying to coax the American Mcd cal Association to visit her in national convention by saying its oat) 800 miles to a view of the San Francisco ruins! ... PURSES Make Fine Xmas Gifts in and look over our stock. Hundreds of dandy purses to select from. Quality the best. Spokane Trunk & Grip Co. Store—9 Steven* St. Factory—334 Post St. IN SPITE OF THE PROMISING CONVERSATION OF THE WAITRESS, PENSION FRANCAIS DISAPPOINTING AND THEN WHEN ONE MISSES A PERFECTLY GOOD $3 UM BRELLA IT IS NOT CALCU LATED TO HELP ONE'S FIRST , , IMPRESSION, IS IT? BY JOHN COPLEY. When The Press artist told me that he had firralv resolved to fore go the 40-cent goulash parlors and seek no more gastronomic diver sions, I was relieved. But when he followed this up with the statement that he had found an ideal little French board ing house down on Sprague ave nue, where one might secure a splendid dinner for 35 cents, I was expectant of tones, "Never, never again!" Alas! Now that I have put my self outside of one of those red ink dinners, I am sorrowful; also lndi gestic. "Come on down. Old Top. and try it out." That was the cheery in vitation of my artistic colleague. I went down; I tried it out. Per mit me to raise my right hand sol emnly and declare in sepulchral tones, "never, never again!" The French boarding house is very much like olives, garlic and baked possum. It's an acquired taste. A stoutish lady in a red flannel kimono greeted us when we came in through the basement door. I thoughtfully leaned my three-dol lar umbrella in a dark corner and prepared to enjoy a French dinner. All bets were off from the soup on. The Press artist pretended to know exactly what the waiting maid said to us. If you knew his rael name you'd know that he didn't savvy a syllable. The soup .not to be too sarcastic about it, bore an unmistakable re semblance to weak lemon phos phate with singed onionskin for scenic purposes. THE DANGER TRAIL Copyright 1910, The Bobbs-Merrill Company. JAMES OLIVER CURWOOD (Continued.) "They escaped M'seur." With a deep breath Howland sank back. In a moment he leaned again toward Jean as he saw come into the Frenchman's eyes a slum bering fire that a few seconds later blazed into vengeful malignity when he drew slowly from an in side pocket of his coat a small par cel wrapped and tied in soft buck skin. "They have sent j'ou this, M'seur," he said. " 'At the very last,' they told me, 'let him read this.' " With his eyes on the parcel, scarcely breathing, Howland wait ed while with exasperating slow ness Croisset's brown fingers un- Mcd the cord that secured it. "First you must understand what this meant to us in the North, M'seur." said Jean, his hands cov ering the parcel after he had fin ished with the cord. "We are dif ferent who live cp here —different from those who live in Montreal, md beyond. With us a lifetime is not too long to spend in avenging i cruel wrong. It is our honor of he North. 1 was fifteen then, and iad been fostered by the Factor ;nd his wife since the day my •nother died of the smallpox and I vas dragged myself into the post, ilmost dead of starvation. So it lappened that I was like a brother io Meelese and th« other three. Haworth Bros. Dentists What Success in Dentistry Means We have noticed in onr observation during ttaei nine years we have been practicing how quick some dentists obtain a practice and again how quick thf© l same ones lose it. To build up a practice is a VtWjH small matter. To hold a practice is a very different thing, although summed up in two sentences: (live your patients the best work. Do you work as pain.-" less as possible. We are going to furnish the readers of this papifj our system of good, painless work by a few examples' each week of the different kinds of work all deh-, tists try to do. Read what we have to say, and see if we don't point to some of the defects of yo#r' poor work. » Read our next issue how we keep children's per manent teeth from decay. We talk to you free of cost at our office. 211 Nicholls Block Hours: 8:30 to 6. Sundays, 9 12. Evenings, Tues day, Thursday and Saturday, 7 to 8:30. "Voolevoo dv entree, m'sieu?" in quired the waitress, taking a reef in her marcel wave. "Wow,' replied The Press artist. He afterward explained that this means "yes" in French boarding houses. We naturally evpected something pretty elegant with all that wordy trimming to it. The article was plain, uuvarnisbed boiled beef and pomme de terres. Pomme de terres? Just plain The years passd, and th desire for vngeance grw in us as we became older, until it was the one thing that we most desired in life, even filling the gentle heart of Melees, whom w sent to school in Montral when she was eleven, M'seur. It was three years later —while she was still in Montreal —that I went on one of my wandering searching to a post at the head of the Great Slave, and there M'seur —there —" Croisset had risen. His long arms were stretched high, his head thrown back, his upturned face aflame with a passion that was al most that of prayer. "M'seur, I thank the great God in Heaven that it was given to Jean Croisset to meet one of those whom he had pledged our lives to find — and I slew him!" He stood silent, eyes partly closed, still as if in prayer. When he sank into his chair again the look of hatred had gone from his face. "It was the father, and I killed him, M'seur —killed him slowly. telling him of what he had done as I choked the life from him; and then, a little at a time, I let the life back into him, forcing him to tell me where I would find his son, the slayer of Meleese's father. And aft re that I closed on his throat until he was dead, and my dogs dragged his body through three hundred miles of snow that the murphies, spuds or potatoes. Call them what you will. We paid the thirty-five and es caped to the dark hall. The Press artist attempted a fee ble apology, but naturally I would have none of it. Even a forty-cent goulash was better than this, I re minded him. Our visit to the French boarding house came to a very appropriate conclusion when I discovered that my perfectly good three-dollar um brella was gone. others might look on him and know that he was dead. That was six years ago, M'seur " Howland was scarcely breathing. "And the other —the son—" he whispered tensely. "You found him Croisset? You killed him?" "What would you have done, M'seur?" Howland's hands gripped those that guarded the little parcel. "I would have killed him, Jean." He spoke slowlyanddistinctlyDw He spoke slowly, deliberately. "I would have killed him," he re peated. "I am glad of that, M'seur." Jean was unwrapping the buck skin, fold after fold of it, until at last there was revealed a roll of paper, soiled and yellow along the edges. "Th pages are taken from the day-book at the post where the woman lived," he explained softly, smoothing thm under his hands. "Each day the Factor of a post keeps a reckoning of incidents as they pass, as I have heard that sea captains do on shipboard. It has been a company law for hundreds of years. We have kept these pages to ourselves, M'seur. They tell of what happened at our post sixteen years ago this winter." As he spoke the half-breed came to Howland's side, smoothing the first page on the tablb in front of him, his slim forefinger pointing to the first few lines. "They came on this day," he said, his breath close to the en gineer's ear. "These are their names, M'seur—the names of the two who destroyed the paradise that our Blessed Lady gave to us many years ago." In an Instant. Howland had read the lines. His blood seemed to dry In his veins and his heart to stand still, or these were the words he read: (To Be Continued.) It May Save Your Baby's Life Many sick children's lives could be saved if their parents were able to provide them proper nursing and medical attention. As you value the life of your child, start a savings account for him and put some thing by for his pro tection. 4 Per Cent. Interest makes a small account grow wonderfully fast.. Start with a few pennies. Your child will learn early the in valuable habit of sav ings. His life may de pend upon you teach ing him this lesson. 20 Years Under One Management. Spokane & Eastern Tk ust Company J. P. M. Richards, President. R. L. Rutter, Secretary. Cbttortal $*ge I'm madly in love with a girl in this town; The prettiest, happiest, Joyfulest lass! She is sweet and sunny—never a frown; Even wlfey, she loves this Mary Christmas. A fine recipe for a girl's com plexion is to get kissed against her will. The Colorado legislature will now proceed to speer the people for the interests. Rolling stones never become mossbacks. Millionaires so thick in New York they've got to build a new opera house for their diamond dis plays. Capacity 6000 millionaires; $479,000,000,000 in jewelry. The emperor of Japan has a mon opoly on tobacco. He buys from the growers at his own price and sells again, at his own price, to the manufacturers. I want to be an angel, And with the angels dwell; I simply couldn't live fore'er With soothing sirup quacks in hell! The Portuguese army has about 95,000 men and 64,000 reserves. Editor Most Anything: We've got a new college yell out our way for street car use. This is the way it goes: "Rah, rah, rah; rah, rah, rah! Turn on some heat or we'll get off the car!" Give "car" the "ah" sound as in Boston. —Jimmy. The sultan of Morocco believes that certain members of legislative bodies should have their ears cut off. Congress meets Fonday De cember 5. The American federation of labor is the largest labor organization in the world. Then follow Germany, England and France. Golf balls used to be made of feathers, packed hard. Congressman Berger sometimes eats pie from his hand. If you nev er did it, you've missed a great deal of joy. "I knew you would be here this this evening," said little brother. "Intuition?" asked the big sister's fellow. "No, observation. You always come on the evening Sis refuses onions at dinner." MOST ANYTHING THE DEVIL'B OWN. Why Not buy your groceries and eatables from a clean and sanitary mar ket? You pay no more here than at a dirty and unkempt place. The sanitary Inspectors stat ed there were only two clean and sanitary bakeries In the city, one of which is run by the T. E. Westlake Company. T. E. WESTLAKE CO. 336 Riverside Avenue. The Old National Bank of Spokane A Bank of Strength and Permanence. Interest paid on sav ings accounts and certifi cates of deposit. Open Saturday Evenings. Officers D. W. Twohy, President T. J. Humbird, Vice Pres. W. D. Vincent, Cashier W. J. Kommers, Asst. Cash, J. A. Yeomans, Asst. Cash W. J. Smithson, Asst. Cash Directorsi Jay P. Q raves P. Welch W. J. C. Wakefield John Twohy Fred B. Qrlnnell Thos. F. Wren J. P. MeOoldrlck D. W. Twohy Levi Ankeny F. A. Blurkwell J. D. Farrell T. U Oreenough „ T. J. Humblrd John D. Porter August Paulsen W. D. Vincent OBTAIN PARK SITES BY CONDEMNATION All sites for public parks will be obtained by condemnation pro ceedings say the members of the board, who met a few nights ago. Should there be an objection to this process a vote of seven mem bers is sufficient to overrule the objection. Various sites are now Continues Tomorrow "VYe have decided to continue our gigantic plume sale another day to give those of our customers who did nol get an opportunity to buy Saturday or today. Remember, this is one of the finest lots of plumes, we believe, that ever came to Spokane. And the prices are so low that every lady can afford to have one or more. Be here tomorrow without fail, as they are going fast and the assortment will soon be broken up. And see them on display in our window. Black and White Hand Tied Willow Plumes Every plume in the lot Is positively guaranteed to be hand-tied. Yon know what that means—the very best that's to be had in plumes. Our window Is full of them—take a stroll by our store this evening and see the plumes and the prices at which they are marked. A plume 7 inches wide and 13 Inches long, worth $9.60, on sale at.»4.84> Plumes 7Vs Inches wide and 14 inches long, worth $13.00, at fO.BO Plumes 9 inches wide and 13»A inches long, worth $16. on sale at.fß.4M> Plumes 8 inches wide and 15 Inches long, worth $21, on sale at. .1*10.50 Plumes 9% Inches wide and 15 inches long, worth $32, on sale at $16.00 Plumes 10 Inches wide and 17 inches long, worth $38.40, on sale ft . $19.20 Plumes 13Va inches wide and IS% inches long, worth $64, on sale at '. $32.00 \Jk Fine Line of French Plumes Is Also Included in this Sate Many ladles prefer the French plumes, and realizing this, we bought A large stock of them. The values are just as remarkable as the wil lows: Fine French plumes, worth regularly $2.00, on sale at $11.00 Fine French plumes, worth regularly $3.95, on sale at $I.o* Fine French plumes, worth regularly $5.00, on sale at $2.54) Fine French plumes, worth regularly $7.50, on sale at $3.76 Fine French plumes, worth regularly $12.00, on sale at $16.04) Fine French plumes, worth regularly $15.00, on sale at $7.54) Fine French plumes, worth regularly $18.00, on sale at 99.04) Remember this is the original sample store of Spokane We have many imitators, but we are the pioneers and give the real values. Come here once, see the bargaim we have to offer and you will be one of our regular eus tomeri and enthusiastic boosters. Spokane Sample Store 308 Riverside Avenue. Just east of the M. Seller store ant diagonally across the street from the Wonder. Brilliant, Attractive Electric Signs Not Only Advertise Your Own Business, But Assist in Making the City Brighter. OUR SIGN MAN WILL CALL His Proposition Will Interest You. The Washington Water Power Co. Corner Front and Lincoln. Spokane, Washington Nov. 28, 1910 under surveillance and as soon as the $1,000,000 bond issue is rioted active proceedings will be begun. iwmnm guaranteed make. Better, prices low er. Safer shades. MUler-Dervaat Wig Makers and Hair Dressers. 124 N. Poat ptreet Price Phone Main 5171.