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Member of United Press. Published Daily ( by The Spokane Newspaper Company, i Entered at Spokane. Wash., as Second Class Matter. ' Telephones—Business, 375; Editorial, 376. The Old Cook Stove a Sacred Shrine When Sam Clarke had all his money swept away and he and his wife were left penniless, she put her arms around his neck and said: "It's all right, Sam; we have a cook stove left, and I can cook." The little stove was an Aladdin's lamp to them. They lived happily for several years in poverty. Then Clarke got rich again. The old cook stove went to the junk heap, and their happiness went with it. Mrs. Clarke is suing for divorce. Now, it doesn't follow that wealth necessarily brings un happiness. I,ots of people get on very well with riches and hanker for more. But it does often happen that wealth divides the hus band from the wife. To him it brings absorbing cares; to her it brings idleness. Success is a jealous mistress that often makes a man forget his wife. And if she has noth ing else to do than worry over it, there is apt to be a lively stew of trouble. Clarke and his wife made their grave mistake when they threw away the cook stove and went to living in hotels. A woman with nothing in the world to do is bound to discover troubles. Her chances are about even between invalidism and di vorce. Let a healthy man in the prime of life quit work, and he goes to the dogs. He becomes a pessimist, a cynic, a continual grouch and a nuisance. The best woman in the world cannot please him long. The doors of the divorce court yawn for him. The Easy Millions Somebody absorbed ninety-five millions of new securi ties in the single month of November, and nearly a billion and a quarter so far this year. They were mostly stock and bond issues of railroad and industrial organizations enjoying monopoly privileges. Somebody in this country is in constant receipt of easy millions. Who is it? Not the professional and workinginen who do the hard work of the nation, but the owners of banks and trusts, the protected manufacturers, and the big men in control of public utility corporations. These interests are welded together into a machine which grinds out profits with mathematical precision, day after day. in good times and bad, and these profits must he regularly reinvested in new securities. So money widens its empire with every passing day. These millions are indeed easy to those who get them, but they are bitter millions to many of those from whom they are regularly sheared. Bryan, Balfour and Defeat They are calling Balfour "the Bryan of English poli tics" because he has led his party three times to defeat. They want him to go 'way back and sit down. Defeat is no reproach. It is often more honorable than victory. None have failed more miserably than many of the most "successful" men of various ages, because time has revealed the falsity of their standards and the empti ness of their achievements. Victory might have enhanced Bryan's usefulness, but certainly defeat did not destroy it. Nor does defeat ever destroy the value of a man's work when he fights for what he believes is right. FEMCSL POINTS SECRETARY MACVEAGH proposes some Panama bonds bearing 3 per cent interest and non-available as basis for bank circulation. Seems to Vast to see if i'ncle Sam has any credit worth something to some body beside bankers. • ••••• SUFFRAGETTES snowed under. New parliament practically same as old. Such are tbe English election reports. Serves 'em right. It really takes women to settle things. CHIEF NURSE SARAH BENNETT has cleaned out Wright hospi tal. New York city, of internes by calmly announcing that internes paid more attention to hugging the nurses than to the appendices of patients. Nice hospital in which the appendix has to take second place! MRS. F. B. OLLSON of St. Paul has been elected superior chief of degree of honor of women's auxiliary of Ancient Order of United Work men. We print this to show that, when it comes to titles, woman is sure after he i rights. BY STANDING together democratic and insurgent congressmen can probably put that Arizona constitution up to Taft. And then William will OHM again have a chance to go thundering into history as some thing more than a two-some putter of golf pills. • ••••• DON'T buy little Tommy a "Noah's Ark" for Christmas. With meat so high, the effect of all that Noah live stock in the house will be awful on the nerves. DESIRING to be fair and desiring tolls, Senator Frye introduces a bill to make i'ncle Sam pay the tolls on American vessels passing through the Panama canal. Of all our foreign brothers, we bet the Englishman will be the first to see the joke that's surely in this, testes HOUSE committee on agriculture had better put that Ballinger re port In chloride of lime, if it intends to keep it in hand until after Christ mas, as reported. • ••••• SCIENTISTS find that wood rats are numerous on the Atlantic seaboard. As these are the fellows who carry the bubonic plague flea, one infected rat down east means that the Atlantic seaboard would be • very pleasant place—to get out of. Kill your rats! • ••••• LOS ANGELES is chirping because she turns out three society feuds per day. If the newspapers portray them reliably, Los Angeles can't be too quick about getting them out of her system. ANYHOW, that race track bribery Inquiry developed that August Belmont has a memory that's successfully failing. • ••••• THAT Indiana man who willed Teddy 1000 acres of land and took tt back after the election of 1908 was evidently one of the boys who got onto Tart's pitching early. TORONTO riots against the pay-as-you-enter car. Trouble In cold Ola Toronto is that 125-126ths of the carload have to stand freezing in the street while the other 126 th gets out his or her nickel. See? • ••••• HINDUS worship the cow, while Mohammedans sacrifice her. Hence, the good people of Calcutta have gone to cutting each other's throats. No such trouble over tbe ben. Everybody worship* hur. Spokane $res& FROM DIANA'S DIARY Miss Dillpickles Goes to Hunt Up a Neglected Relative and Incident ally to Have a Corking Good Time. BY FRED BCHAEFER. "YOrrt AC N'T BLANCHE CHIPPENDALE MADE THIS.' SICHED .. MA. "DEAR ME, IT'S YEARS SINCE WE HEARD FROM HER." l i. | Once again I'm down with the adventure-lust hut this time I be lieve things will come pretty soft for me. I've decided to discover my long-lost Aunt Blanche. Aunt Blanche, they do say, has a pot of coin. Today's the first time I ever heard of Aunt Blanche and it's a shame how we have neglected her. I don't see how relatives will let! the ties of kindred frazzle just be cause they are miles apart on the map. It ain't right. How I learned of Aunt Blanche, I got to admiring a very classy lace mantel throw ma had just put in the parlor. She'd had it put away for years, but she thought now bet ter have some use made of it. I was gurgling over it when she came and helped me admire it., "Your Aunt Blanche Chippendale made this," she signed. "Dear me, I it's years since we heard from her." | The nshe goes ahead and tells me my Aunt Blanche used to be th prettiest and brightest and most winning of the Dillpickles family, and had a fine education and all that, and married a man with a mint of money. The rest of our folks always was in perfect awe of her. And after she went away and married and kept sending them rich presents, they sort of dropped Are you a dead game sport, Osgar?" "Sure; 1 am such a dead game sport dot der coroner takes hiss hat off to me." "Veil, ef you are such a dead game sport, here iss a necktie my vife gafe me for Gristmas. Year id!" COME Rosenthal's Stock Hi Everything Is going fast and furious except that there was such an enormous big stock of l Ladies' Suits & Dresses to begin with, that there is still left a much larger assortment than the ordinary store can show. 'A ' The creditors say they mii3t be turned into immediate cash, as well as all other goods, such as silks, dress goods, linens, hosiery, domestics, fancy goods and men's furnishings. BUY YOUR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS AT THIS CLEANUP CREDITORS' SALE There positively never were such bargains offered anywhere. The creditors are perslfitent, and the entire stock is going at a frightful sacrifice. Come Prepared to Buy Rosenthal's Bon Ton 406-308 Riverside Aye. 109-111 Washington St. her altogether, because they felt they couldnt com up to her style. It's the old Dillpickles pride at the bottom of this, but Aunt Blanche I never had any of it herself until they quit answering her letters, and then she didn't write no more. I don't blame her. She's a widow now and lives in Chicago. Now, I'm not the kind to toss itly relatives, and I just told ma I was going to write to her, and ask her if I could come and cheer her up a bit. Say, and maybe T won't have a corking good time if she lets me come! (CONTINUED.) ZILLAH'S FIRST ELECTION ON DECEMBER 31 ZILLAH, Wash., Dec. 19— The first election of Zillah will be De cember 31, when a mayor, five councilmen and a treasurer are to be elected. A committee of which D. A. Fox is chairman, has called a meeting for December 22, to nominate a caucus ticket. Ladies, we have the largest line of fancy Xmas packages of import ed and domestic cigars for the men folks Id the city. M. A. Gunst & Co.'s three stores, 707 Riverside, CI2 Riverside and 5 Post street. *** to Creditor's Sale of Slams, Jabs, Boosts and 'MOST ANYTHING SLAMS, JABS, BOO3TS AND .. Oh, Morgan's run to cover; Poor Jim Hill's dead of fright. Come look at our prize lemon— Jedge Edward Douglas White. BKINNEY A. NUFF, THE VIL LAGE CUTAWAY. STORY that Santa Claus shinned down the chimney originated in Ocr many. WYANDOTTE, 0., holds the blue ribbon for biting it short. The folk there spell their town "V & ." UNEVEN lies the head that wear a rat. A Cheap Cut of Beef. FREE Candy Given Away. V-z pound to every 50c purchase. 1 pound to every $I.OC purchase. Anything in the store. SIMS DRUG Open All Night. Main and Bernard. TRY THE NEW CAFE! Everything appetizing. We make all our own pastry. BUCKLEY BROS. CAFE, 420 Riverside Avenue. XMAS Suggestions Headquarters for Xmas Hardware. FOR MOTHER Nut sots 35c to 75c Carving sets $1.50 to $6.50 Shears 25c to $1.00 Knives and forks.s3 to $10.50 Nickeled tea pot 95c Nickeled coffee pots 95c FOR FATHER Pocket knife 35c to $3.50 Razors $1.00 to $3.50 Special—Razor, strop and hone $1.60 Safety razor . . .SI.OO to $6.50 Saws $1.00 to $2.75 Hammers 50c to $1.00 FOR SISTER Shears 25c to $1.00 Skates $1.25 to $3.50 Penknife 35c to $1.40 Watches $200 Sleds $1.25 to $4.50 FOR BROTHER Knife 35c to $1.50 Watch 95c to $2.00 Air rifle 75c to $1.75 Skates 75c to $3.50 Sleds $1.25 to $4.50 Football $1.00 to $5.00 Tyler-Little Hardware Co. 110 Washington St. Clnb Bldg. Cotbrtal $age WE know this "ts a cheap cut be cause we made it ourself, thus sav i ing at least one \ item of expense ■ —the artist. Take Tit home and try Jit on your frying •trad "Why I Am Making a Fool of Myself" BY COUNT ALE ALBERT YON MOURIN DE BEAUFORT. "Ton Laugh at Me, Anyhow, So I'm Going to Capitalize Your* Prejudice," Says Nobleman, Beaten Up by Papa Kilgallen, Now Re hashing His Troubles in audeville. "I pledge you my word of honor that when I married my wife I didn't know whether her father was worth 10 cents, $10 or a mil lion. And I didn't care. I loved her. She loved me. Perhaps the people of America cannot under stand why any one should love me, but the fact remains that she did. And we will be reunited as sure as my name is Jack Heaufort." So says Count Alexander Albert van Mourik de Heaufort, Flemish nobleman, whose marital mishaps and fistic battles with father-in law Kilgallen have resulted in the count's taking to vaudeville and moving picture posing for a liveli hood. Hhere's a ready-reference synop sis of the Beaufort-Kilgallen alli ance, by way of introduction to the count's tale: Miss Irma Kilgallen. daughter of the multi-millionaire Chicago steel manufacturer, met the count in July, 1909, while touring abroad with her mother. His title isn't rcognized by the Almanac de Ootha but his winning ways and dashing courtship won her hand in a few weeks. They were married in Lon don. Countess Irma brought Beau fort and his bul'dog Jack home with her, quartering both on papa. Frequently quarreling and separat ing, their troubles were often aired in the newspapers. A month ago a violent scene in the Kilgallen Chicago home ended with the countess falling over the balustrade from the third floor, 80 feet, break ing legs and arm«. Then papa Kil gallen beat up the count roundly. Their chauffeur repealed the oper ation when the count created a scene at the hospital, and papa again pommeled him at Kilgallen's office during an attempted settle ment. Can You Afford to make mistakes that will cost you lots of mouey and he disappointed when you can save One Dollar on every two dollars you spend for furs, coats, suits, dresses, sweaters, silk petti coats, house dresses, ki monos, belts, neckwear and infants' wear for Christmas you can buy useful gifts that will bo a delight to both those who give and receive if you buy them at Mrs. Kleeb Sample Store Room 208 Rookery Bldg. Entrance through E. J. Lip pert 's Stand (Over Whitehouse) THE PRESS DELIVERED —By carrier In the city, 25c per month. By mail, payable in advance: One month, 35c; 6 months, $1.75; one year, $3.00. By suburban carrier, 30c per month. COI'NT DE BEAUFORT, Dapper Noble Son-ln-l.aw of Rug ged Irish-American Millionaire. Now the count is telling his trou bles to vaudeville audiences and posing for moving pictures. When the scenario was being prepared for the moving pictures, it was suggested to the count that one scene could show him and his wife and his father-in-law In the stormy Interview ■ which preceded the separation from his wife. "No, no, no —positively no!" ex claimed Count de Beaufort. "I will not be shown In any scene with any actress who Is supposed to Imper sonate my wife. Not only would At Your Service Part of the electric lighting service which we of fer our customers without cost is not generally known. Correct illumination is a science. Tt must be stud ied and mastered before the desired results can be obtained. We place expert illuminating engineering service at the command of every customer and prospective customer. Phone Main 5171. The Washington Water Power Co. Our Growth Speaks Most Eloquently OF THE DENTAL WORK WE HAVE DONE AND ARE HOW DOING FOR THE PEOPLE OF SPOLANE AND THE NORTHWEST Non-resident* should bear in mind that we are now co organ ized that we can do their entire Crown, Bridge and Plate work*ill a day If necessary. Positively painless extractions FKRIO when plates or bridges are ordered. Some points to remember In con nection with this establishment. Lady attendants at the service of all patients at alt hours. Every patient receives tbe best treatment that science affords. We guarantee our work. Each operator is obliged to become individually responsible for his work. We conduct our buslnss* strictly on a casta basis, and therefore give all the full value of their money—the best work at the lowest, possible price. Our satisfied customers are legion. Patients come from all parts of the northwest. Nervous and weak hearted people oan have their teeth extracted, filled, bridge work and teeth applied without danger or pain. New York Dental Co. DECEMBER 19, 1910. it be in poor taste, but my wife would not like it. "The people of America are Jown on me," continued the their main objection Is that I am what they call a foreigner and a titled one at that. Laugh if you will. Call it an impossibility, but I am going to prove to the people of America that a count can be a man in spite of liis title. "Thousands of people despise me because they think I am another Count Bonl de Cas|ellane. The fact that I have tried to liv ing as a locomotive a stenographer, and almost as Mi of foce boy since I came to America does not seen* to help me any in their estimation. They scoff at me for going on the stage, but they forget the fact that what drove me to the stage was an honest desire to pay off my debts. "It made a great story for the newspapers when I had a fight with my father-in-law They said he gave me a sound beating. Teople laughed at me, scorned me for it But suppose I had beaten him in stead —and it would have been easy. What would have, been tha result? Why your cartoonists would have pictured me as a tower ing, muscular giant and my father in-law as a bewhlskered, doddering old man. They would have torn me limb from limb, figuratively speaking, for striking an old man. Imported cigar- of ALL brands at M. A. Ounst & Co.'s three stores, 707 Riverside, 612 Riverside and 5 Post street. *** J. H. Summers General Mason and Cement Worker. Repair work a specialty. SIG7V4 Monroe St. Room 3. Dr. B. E. McCoy Specialist EYE, EAR, NOSE AND THROAT GLASSES FITTED Hours 8 a. m. to 5 p. m. Suit 314-15-16 Cranite Mock. Phone M. 0896. Spokane. 714V2 Riverside Aye. Next to the Creecent Store.