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The Spokane woman. (Spokane, Wash.) 1921-1935, September 30, 1926, Image 10

Image and text provided by Washington State Library; Olympia, WA

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn88087129/1926-09-30/ed-1/seq-10/

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This is one of the prize-winning one
act plays in the Ivaloo Pearl Eddy-S&-
kane Women one-act play contest.—Kd
itor's Note. G S
Cast of Characters.
Mr. Bond-—prosperous, easy-going
business man. Middle-aged.
Mr. Gilechrist —friend of Mr. Bond.
Nervous type.
Jack Bond—son. Good-looking boy of
Lizette Bond—daughter. Nice ap
pearing girl of eighteen. Not flapper
Time—Sunday evening. Summer.
Place—Bond residence.
(Mr. Bond and Mr. Gilchrist seated
in modern den apparently talking
business. As curtain rises both men
get to their feet, Mr. Gilchrist takes
hat preparing to leave.)
Mr. Gilchrist: It's all right with you,
then. I'll see Dudley as soon as he
gets in this evening. 1 tell you, Bond,
it's going to be a big thing for us if
we can get that lease.
Mr. Bond: 1 think so, too. Let me
know as soon as you find out any
thing definite.
Mr, Gilchrist: 1 sure will. You'll
hear from me in the course of an hour
or 80, maybe sooner. Well, good eve
Mr. Bond: Hold on. Just a minute.
(Exit Mr. Bond at left. He returns
shortly with a bottle and glasses.
Pours out drinks.)
Mr. Bond: Here's looking at you.
Mr. Gilchrist: Fine, fine.
Mr. Bond: You don't find it much
better than that, do you?
Mr, Gilchrist: Ha, ha. Not these
days. Ha, ha. Keep it cached, do
Mr. Bond: Well, it isn't just the
thing to have around with young folks
in the house. My wife’s sort of a
temperance crank, you know.
Mr. Gilchrist: Ha, ha. Say, you're
lucky. I wish mine was. Pretty stiff
when the dope comes at ten dollars
a quart. We used to keep the stuff
cached, too, down in the basement.
Ha, ha. Old joke—you know-—take
your friends down to see the furnace.
Ha, ha.
Mr, Bond: 1 don’'t go much on the
stuff myself. Just keep a little on
hand, you know. 1 wouldn't like to
have the children—
Mr. Gilchrist: Pretty hard to keep
it away from them these days. Nate
smelled it out before he was in long
trousers hardly. Had his friends down
looking at the furnace, too. Ha, ha.
Pretty cute—we didn’'t know where
the stuff was going. Now, he brings
it in the front door himself, and wife
and T have to drink it up to keep him
from getting too much. Ha, ha.
Mr. Bond: Jack and Lizette seem
to steer clear of those things. But,
then, you know, their mother’'s the
whole show with them. She's been
mighty particular about their bring
ing up.
Mr. Gilchrist: Makes a difference,
all right. 1 sometimes wish—Well,
good night. T'll call you up shortly.
Mr. Bond: Yes, good night.
(Exit Mr. Gilchrist. Mr. Bond looks
at clock—sits down with paper. Pours
out another glass—drinks, evidently
enjoying it. Jack Bond looks through
curtain at right. Watches father a
moment. Enters laughing.)
Jack: Ha, ha, Dad. Caught you in
the act, didn’t 1?
Mr. Bond: Felt a little cold com
ing on. Nothing like a little brandy
for a cold.
Jack: Now, dad, don’t talk baby
talk to me. I've cut my eye teeth,
you know. Guess Gilchrist had a cold,
too, eh, what?
Mr. Bond: Where did you see Gil
Jack: Met him down the street. Pre
tended 1 was in an awful rush. I can’t
stand his line of gab. And that Nate
Gilchrist sure is a flat tire. Did you
know he's trying to make an impres
sion on Lizette these days?
Mr. Bond: Do him lots of good, I
imagine. Lizette wouldn’t use him for
a door-mat,
Jack: Well-—no—of course not. Did
lizette go to church with mother?
Mr, Bond: No, Lizette didn't show
‘Jack: 1s that right? You didn't
let mother go alone? You know how
she likes to have some of us go with
Mr. Bond: I know, but Gilchrist
came up to talk over a business prop
Jack: Darn shame mother had to
go alone., 1 shook the bunch as soon
as I could and came home. | wanted
to see if Lizette got home all right—
-1 mean—l thought she would be home
to go with mother., She left Oldhams
quite a while bhefore I did.
Mr. Bond: She did? Who was she
Jack: Why, why—that's just what
1 don't like about it. She was with
that Nate Gilchrist. And, he was lit
up, as usual, of course.
Mr. Bond: Oh, I guess not. Lizette
has too much sense,
Jack: Hold, on dad. Say, fill this
flask, won't you?
Mr. Bond: Well, this is going a lit
tle too far when youngsters like yon—
Jack: Oh, come on, dad. It tastes
as good to me as it does to you.
Mr. Bond (reluctantly filling flask):
What would your mother think—
Jack: Mother don’t need to worry
about me. Tl'll never be a boozer. But
just now it's the fad—l wouldn't like
to have her know about it though.
(Enter Lizette, who runs in, kisses
father. She sniffs, sees bottle Jack
is trying to hide. Lizette reaches for
bottle, but Jack passes it back to
Lizette (holding out glass): Just a
drop, dad. My nerves are a wreck.
Mr. Bond (distressed): Why, Liz
ette. (He holds bottle away but fin
ally gives in and pours some liquor
into glass.)
Mr. Bond (reproachfully): What
would your mother say?
Lizette: I'll do my drinking on the
Q. T., same as my daddy does. Really,
dad, T don’t drink-—not to speak of,
Lizette (aside to Jack): It does
taste better than it used to, eh, brud
Jack: Somewhat—but 1 don't ap
prove of girls drinking. What would
you think if mother—
Lizette: Did you let mother go to
church alone? 1 intended to come
back, but I forgot it was Sunday. The
bunch got to dancing.
Jack: You were lucky to get home
alive. What possessed you to go off
with that crazy fool? He hasn't hard
ly sense enough to drive a car when
he's sober,
Lizette: Does dad know?
Mr. Bond: Yes, dad knows. I'm
surprised at you, Lizette,
Lizette: Don’t scold, dad. 1 tell
you how it happened. I saw that Mol
ly Boyd was crazy about Nate Gil
christ so I thought I'd show her |
could take him away from her if I
wanted to. And believe me it was
dead easy.
Mr. Bond: Well, Lizette, 1 hardly
Lizette: Oh, Nate's harmless, if he
is sort of a sap. I never laughed so
hard in my life as I did coming home.
We went for a little drive and coming
back Nate was driving pretty wabbly.
First thing we were right up almost
onto a man when he turned his head
and saw us. The way that man jumped
sideways—he bellowed out “Fool”
Nate got rattled and whirled the wheel
and we headed right for a bunch of
people that weren’'t even on the pave
ment. Say—you never saw such a
scattering. They just flew in all di
rections, and some of them got tan
gled up together and fell down. And
mad—say—ll thought I'd die.
Mr. Bond: That's nothing funny.
You'd better not let me hear of your
being out with Nate, especially when
he's in that condition, (Taking out
a cigar.) Guess I'm due a smoke.
Jack: Same here.
Lizette: Me, too, Don't be shocked,
dad. This is a night of discoveries.
Jack: Smoking hasn't hurt you, has
it, dad?
Mr. Bond: But, your mother—
Jack: That's what I say. 1 don’t ap
prove of girls smoking,
Lizette: Don’t preach, bruddy, moth
er would hate as much to see you
smoke as she would me. Nice mother.
Jack (confidentially): See here, dad.
Lizette and I want you to help us out.
We want to give a party at the house
here next week in honor of Miss Van
Slater of Detroit. We want it to be
lively—not too lively—but we'd like
to have a little something on hand to
keep the crowd pepped up—you know,
Mr. Bond: Now you know very
Lizette: Yes, we know very well
mother wouldn’t have it.
Jack: But you're a good sport, dad.
Couldn’t you drive mother out to Aunt
Maud’s for a visit next week?
Mr. Bond: Why, as far as that is
concerned—she’'s been wanting to go
for some time—But, see here. I'm
going to be present at that party.
There's to be nothing going on here
that might get into the papers.
Lizette: Sure, dad; we want you at
our party. You might come in handy.
Sometimes these little parties get be
yond control when there are no older
persons around.
Jack: Sure do.
Mr. Bond: Your mother likes to
give parties for you. It doesn’t seem
Lizette and Jack: Just this once,
Mr. Bond: You wouldn't want to do
anything that would hurt her—
Lizette: No, no, dad. Not anything
really bad. This is just going to be a
harmless little frolic—a little more
up-to-date than mother would approve
of, maybe,
Mr. Bond: Your mother's mighty
proud of you two—
Jack: And maybe we're not proud
of mother. She's always been a dandy
good scout—that is-—well—you know
~—mother’s strong for the straight and
narrow trail. You see, mother’s the
original “female of the species.”
Right's right and wrong's wrong to
Lizette: You've said it. A thing is
either black or white with mother. No
intermediate gray with her, especially
where booze is concerned.
Mr. Bond: She’s right ahout it, too,
1 believe,
Jack: 1 guess she is, but what's a
fellow going to do in this day and age?
Lizette: One hates to be squeamish
when all the rest of the crowd are
good sports,
Mr. Bond: It's not right. Why
couldn’t you set a good example?
(Lizette and Jack laugh.)
Lizette: With all dufie—'fe'spect, dad,
we might ask you the same question.
Thursday, September 30, 1926
Jack: Don't preach that to us, dad.
You can't make it stick. Didn’t we
catch you with the goods?
Lizette: Really, though, dad, we've
known it for a long time. But we re
spected your desire to shield us from
temptation and kept as mum as min
Jack: Don’t you remember, Sis, our
favorite indoor sport when we were
kids was to ferret out dad’s bottle and
smell of the cork?
Lizette: Do you remember, bruddy,
the time I had a tea party for some
of the little neighbor youngsters, and
you played butler and filled the cups
out of dad’'s bottle,
Jack: Gee, wasn't that great. It's
a good thing the cups were so small.
1 was just getting ready for the sec
ond round with the bottle when we
saw mother coming. She met old lady
Hilton out in front of the house and
they talked about an hour, or we'd
have got ours’ that day.
Mr. Bond: You good-for-nothings,
why can’t you be like your mother?
Lizette: Because it's easier to slide
with dad, than climb with mother.
I'm going to reform shortly after this
Jack: I'm going to cut the stuff out
entirely when I get through college.
If T can find a girl with mother's prin:
Lizette: Talk’s cheap, bruddy. Did
you answer our question, dad?
Mr. Bond: Let's see, you want the
party next week?
Jack: Yes, next Friday night.
Lizette: Listen, dad. You take
mother down to Aunt Maud's next
Thursday morning and go after her
Mr. Bond: Perhaps mother will want
to make a longer visit.
Lizette: Oh, we'll coax her not to
this time. There's “na luck aboot the
hoose” when mother’s away, eh, brud
Jack: Tlt's pretty flat around here
all right when she's gone. (Looks at
watch.) Hadn't mother ought to he
home pretty soon?
Mr. Bond (looking at clock): She is
late tonight? Call up Chipmans,’ per
haps she stopped there. Tell them I'l
step over and get her.
Jack: No, I'll go and get mother.
Lizette: Tlll go with you.
Lizette (phoning): Mrs. Chipman?
This is Lizette. Is mother there, Mrs.
Chipman?—Oh, you didn't go to
church?—Thank you.—Good by.
Lizette: Mother isn't at Cl{ipmnnn.
They didn’t go to church.
Jack: Darn shame mother had to go
Mr. Bond: Well, Gilchrist came in
—I couldn't go. She probably came
back with the Hiltons and stopped
Lizette: Wonder if I'd better call
up Hiltons?
Mr. Bond: I'd wait a few minutes,
She's with Hiltons,” I suspect.
Jack: Maybe they took her for a
drive. It's a swell evening. Moon
light and everything.
(Phone rings and Jack goes to an
swer it.)
Jack: Here she is now.
Mr. Bond: That's Gilchrist. [l've
been expecting him to call me
Lizette: 1 hope it’s mother.
Jack (at the phone): It isn’t, it's a
man speaking. (Phoning) Hello—Who
is this speaking?—Who?—He seems
rattled, I can’t understand him.
Mr. Bond: That's Gilchrist—He's
always like that,
Lizette: llt's Mr. Hilton. Ask if
mother's there, Jack.
(Continued on Page 15.)

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