Newspaper Page Text
■: • ■ <r Volume i. _des a rc, m.viicii s, asoo. NirMBEB I DBS ARC CITIZEN, | »oe & 13a!ding, proprietors. IMS—$3 50 . PER ANNUM payable tst advaxce. iTes OF advertising. square (1.0 0»cs of this size type) for lertion, $1; each additional insertion, $0 00 $12 00 $20 (it) r 00 0 00 11 00 14 00 25 <to reaJ S r 11 00 10 o:, 17 00 00 00 r\*' n (10 13 00,10 00 20 00 40 00 ’ 3 00 10 Oil IS 00 25 (V 50 On ’ ic nc is (>o 22 00 30 01 fiO 0O mn’ v! uni *»‘i oo 27 00 35 00 70 00 j i.y .! .■ veal- wiil.be restricted j r legitimate business. ‘ ' mnal communications charged double tes of regular advertisements. al advertisements will he charged, for „„„„ „*!«», first insertion $1. and 75 mare or ic. . nor square for each additional insertion, louncing candidates for State and Dis ifficcs, ft; County offices, $5; Township i, 3; invariably in advance. Is mi persons to become candiuatcsare cd the usual rates, except when persons ,g the calls are subscribers to our paper, cut in advaa ■ •ertisrments not ordered for a specified will be inserted till forbidden, and cd for accordingly, advertising t-> be pa id for quarterly. job I’rinllnsr Bepartnien'. have supplied ourselves with a good I assortment OI 1 iNiimig ‘ really (0 execute all kinds of Job Printing, 1 on reasonable terms. We are prepared to print TVimphlets, Cat a logo os, Posters, large or small, Cards, Pal'. Tickets, Bill Heads, Blanks of every descrip tion, for Clerks, Sheriffs, Justices of the peace. Constables, &e. THE I imi rr^iqi mj I w JLi «JL« roiliWi sixutjl ajalajal a&j 'j I !B O O K. ' OFFICE I IS NOW IN [ OPERATION! R -«o»--— tAl.2. H.5IR3JS Or PISaTFE® OS SHOUT NOTICE AXD IX THE I --— n.TYF US A (.'ALL AND WE WILL GUAIl 'A an tee entire satisfaction. POK «fc K A I Alt Xf'L ft G. GILL & CO., DEALERS ID STAPLE and FANCY DRY GOODS, i Reidy-Mado Clothing, Hats, CAPS, ROOTS, S SB WES, Hardware, Hollow iYai'e, Queenswaie, &c, \ I.SO, KLLP A FELT, SUPPLY <>!’ Fam ,A ily Groceries ami PLANTATION SUPPLIES <;onstan!!y "'i hand. Will pay the highest market price for Cot Eln Ui.'c- m. I Pc.due; of: II kind-*. S I» K l Mi. BY LrDWJG TIECK—1778. Look all around thee! How tlie spring ad vances ! Now life is playing through the gay green trees ; See how, in yonder bower, the light leaf dances do the bird's tread and to the quivering breeze! How every bosom in (he sun-light glances! The winter frost to his dark cavern decs. And earth, warm-wakened, feels through every vein The kindling influence of the vernal rain. Now silvery streamlets from the mountain stealing. Dance joyously the verdant vales along; Cold tear no more the songsters’ totiguc is sealing, Down in the thick, dark grove is hoard his song; And, all their bright and lovely hues reveal ing. A thousand plants, the field and forest’s throng; Light comes upon the earth in radiant show ers. And mingling rainbows play among the bovv ers. 15113 Arp to Air- Tammany Hall. MiLEEDOEvrixih Foby. 18GG. Dear Tammany:—You arc a glorious old feller. You've got a heart-—a great big heart—and if you were here ] would exclaim in tuo langdwago of my unde Bil-j ly, "put your band in mine, honey, and i • M u r lirrt. iviSa Hi'.. . 11 v i’.il v. . i i iv.1 j. itns uumv. We rcbs arc conquered, subdued and subjugated, not by bayonets or bullets, but by your friendly overtures, your manly speeches. You and Sunny South Cox and Company have captured us, taken us prisoners, and we are now a a uosile as we have been hostile. Dident 1 toil you that we Wuiiid meet you on luh'way grown? Dident wc stretch forth our arms for sym pathy. and waseht we about to turn away in defiance and despair for the want ol it? Wc sprat the mantle of oblivion oa r the past. If you of the iiouih haoe the spirit to accept we of the No>-h hare the heart i to fouler you the ojjises of hindness. lie j will help you plant again the seed whose j perfect hare-, flowers and fruits shall be yours with ours to enjoy ” Did Mr. Cox say that, old Tammany, and did you clap your hands and say “ong- j k ho ref’ lie are to-day arrayed against lie con- j trnlion concerning the blue!;, nice, and are ■ loot ing forward to the whit,, ran joy the ice fare, and greatness of our country/ And dident you say that, too, old Tam many? and dideut all l ands jewbilec and exclaim that’s it, them’s ’em. that’s the j ck . i the white man is a whale.” And dident ; you all take another drink on that Mr. 1 Tammany? Wish:- true of us; ebs had beau there, old fel. jest to have tcchd tumbler. with you. Thank the Lord the, there are good men North of Dixoy. There’s a lieu’) of ’em here, Mr. Hall, and their 1 . , 1 hearts au a jumpin and a bum pin and a . thumpin as big as yours. Their hearts' wore castles, and their buzzums sitadels but you have taken ’em. Dont be alarm ed, dont reseed, dont take back nuth.ii; bo kalui and screen, and we of the rebel Hons South will wipe out the last spaik ol . i . i .. .. \Vr, . ilUUAJU lU&Ul'U iwjuu. » i v, w. w n - .j ... away the curses that were upon our lips. \Ve arc risin up from our humiliation, and like strong men are s’nakin the dust from i.nr garments. Think of it, Tammany. What a glorious sight to see a brave peepul lifted up—a whole nation of white folks rekousiled. What spirit, what gost. what inspiration told you how to reach us? j Hew didyouknow that wo was weak where we was strong, in the same secret corner ol I our buzEums? You've got us Tammany and we 11 res-’ pond to you, we ll reinforce you. W e ve said some hard things 31 r. Hall; v.o\c. tried to skurch, and blister and excoriate.; but you see we were goaded, gored Tn | Pulls_Trumbulls and Republican bulls They bellere l an 1 we pawed dirt. They . punched us in the cape, and wo growled They put tax under oar saddles and we kicked. What else could we do? Test think of it, Tammany. Ruined and deso 1 late, the people in uiournin and tuoii houses in ashes—no luxuries, no comforts, j uo cluistmas worth a cuss, no Santa Claws, 1 n0 nuthin. Could we lick the hand that laid us low?—nary time—no, never. While we was strugglin to rise from out the wreck, to breathe the air above us, to take I an invoice and see if there was enuf left to live for. our enemies were a shoutin hit him. kick him, mash him, smash him ; We were then at the bottom. Tammany. \\ e didn t know there was any lower deep, but our enemies were liuntin. mid they still are liuntin some deeper pit to put us in, and some pendulum ol‘Pee to swing and cut U3. Well wc aint heathens, we’ve been to mcctin, we’ve seen misshionerys. we've got churches and sermons; and hymn books and prayers. We’ve got pious old men and wimmen, and brave boys, and maidens who are finished all the way up like the corners of a temple. God bless cm, Tammany, partickler them last, for in connection with them are centred she hopes of posterity and the j >ys of our life. We’ve all got hearts, old Tammany, and there's many a good Samaritan among us who wouldcntpass you by and go over on the other side. We’ve got charity too. and long suffering, and patience, and hope in abundance, though wc cant believe them Radicals will walk right straight into heaven without knockiu at the door. That docktrinc oi' elcktion is a powerful thing. Tammany, but as shore as you are born it looks sorter unconstitut ional to us for them fellers to enter the celestial city. rl h<?y may pass amendments enuf to do it, and 1 reckon that’s why they are a tinkerin at the old dukument so long; but some how or other when I hear one oi' ern a dyin, my my tnoughts naterrally have a downward tendency. I cant help it Tammany. But maybe we ll get over sich feelins My wife says we- will atlcrvhUe. Vt cave all right towards you, old 1 fall, and our Legislature have been try in for about two months to harmonize tilings generally, and anv reasonable man ought.- to bo satisfied with the efforts they have made. But we can't satisfy them Radicals, I don’t care what we do Y\ e elected Mr. Stevens and flershcl Johnsir. to the Senate, and they are mad about that. They wanted Josh Iiill and Jcoins Join sni beeaus they was Union. Well now; Mr. Tammany, its better always to take men who hare done sumtliin than men who have done nutlun Mr. Hill deliverc 1 his farewell addre ■ be fore he was het, and he said he would like to know why we sing hosanna to Andy Johnsin, who font agin us, and yet wc wont elekt linn who dident. That s what s the matter Joshua, If I may be allowed to apostrofke you, you dident take no side at ail. You say you can take the I itlt and git in. Well I dent see how exaktly. You run for Governor in sixty-three, ami you writ a letter agin reconstruction and compared the old union to a porcelain vase that was broke, and eouldcnit never be mended agin—-no never, And limit you know if you'd been elek tod you would have had to tali ? the oath of office, ami be swore to support the Con •dilution of tl*^3 Confederate States so call ed, now deceased But you are smart Joshua, arid it was funny what you said to the General that night, when he axd you if you would have taken that oath. \ ou pausd Joshua for nearly a miuct. Il was a mity tight question, euu-ddovin the por celain vase that was broke. T dont blame you for paw-in. my friend. Bitiolly says von. ••Well— ieneral——T—I—dident— mm h—exp, ct—to—be—elekted. J>iu iv for von. Joshua. But now about (hat ; ce mw bisuess you spoke id', you smd in v mr speech tli it you was play in sec-saw m politix, and if your end of the plank went down in G corin' it would go up i.i \\ a-h ill::!,m,by which 1 suppose you meant that you was ready to swap en is jest- to suit your pekulie.r serkumstar.ee; and that’s what's the matter agin Jo-.diua. \ ou have been seesaw in too long and euangin ends too often. Twaseut no time to be .-wap pin bosses my Iriend. But sec here Joshua, Mr. Marshall may bo a clever reporter, but he treated y >u badly. He's left out a heap of yam speech. Me aint had printed that see h. s iw ii-er at all, and it was I assure you a most beautiful metal,»r of speech. Aim ho-; left out them little sparks of .Southern -p-.li'soii.-nt which ymi omitted-U ,ws mi ever, mav he these things would have been m the way of the Wmkiwjtmi and of the see saw. I'll tell you my friend, where vou wasted time in your remark.!. \ ou said that if we Uideni olckt you now we might want you hereafter, and then wc couldent git you. Bunt worry yourself on our akkuunt. Dont cross the bridge' be tore you cat to it. It will be time enu. .Joshua. . •:• yt a • refuse-when we ax you Wo haveut been runuin you down to give you offis. and we aint a goin to. Do yot sec saw awav on your plank an 1 take goot care that you dont fall oh'. Your speech was sorter spiteful Joshua, and if reduce to its gum would read *Jibjut thus: ‘•Boy: fm tl whale. I am, and Im a prophet, an il you clout elekt me to the Senate I’ll gf to Washington and give you the devil." Well, wedident elect him, Mr. Tamma ny, and the devil may come. In the land- ; gwage of Patrick Henry, “let him conic”— 1 l repeat it sur, "let him come.” There was another candidate, Mr. Hall, whose name was deems Jnhnsin. Well, 1 like 1 Jcents purty well. He didentrun nobody i down, nor put, on airs. I moat have voted for him if iic had lived in the State, and ! < hadent liked Horshel better. The truth is, I was partial to .Teems for his “old lang • ine.” He was a powerful war-horse in : sixty-one, Iimv glorious he figered at the ' Columbus war mectins. He encouraged ’ tlie boys atnazin, and bo beat anybody a i gittin volunteers. How proud we was of 1 hint that night, when he and Colonel Sums i made friends on the stand, and the Colo- 1 nol pind a secoshion cockade upon Jeems 1 coat-collar. He then got inspired, and 1 spoke for two hours in words that breathed i of ditches and deaths, and was full of the spirit of 70. Ilis watch word were •■B.n tunrj and scccshionand ho voted for cm both. Oh, he's a whale in getting up a ! -,var. Alas! ho were si/c scmjier then, but , be are sik transit now. Ho mote it be, Mr. Tammany; I couldent help it. llow 1 sumever; it don't matter much, I reckon. : ior we've got another .Join in, and they - arc a high-roosting family, shore. Now you understand the trouble, Mr. | iny. about this ejektion W e was liuntin for two full Idoodol 1 nion men w’ o could find their way to Washington and back without a way-bill, and we i i -. \; 11 (I.' . t . tliul o3ii 'l'b v aint in iho Htate. i I tell you. So wo foil back upon the ofd ! land marks, wo are ridiu the old wagin bosses, and our opinion is, that Andy wont raise any row in partikler about it. If he does, ice don't care, a darn. Yours truly, Bill Arp. 1!. S—I'm gittiug to be liighlp loyal. Mr. Hall, 1. know I am; for a feller tried to sell mo a nigger to-day, and 1 wouldcnt buy him. 1 heard <d a bill that# cotuin up to bind out the niggers for 99 years, and I'm agin it. Darned if I'll vote for more than 50. You can tell Thud. Ste vens of these hopeful signs. B. A. £>3?” The London Hues (which favored j the North during the war) says : It really does not seem worth while to make an exception of’ harshness to the prejudice of Capt Femmes. II Capt. Seuunes is to be tried and punished for t’ue ■ now exceedingly stale charges, while :! --cnercu:-. clemency Ins been shown to many who were so much more fonnidnl.de than lie, it will dispose the uncharitable II conclude that the Federal# can forgive anything, no matter how closely it touches their patriotism and the national honor aiuLxccurity, provided only that it does ii.*oucli their pocke's and their material interests, and that tli.s and this alone is in i their eyes the unpardonable sin. Capt. j Femmes really did nothing against the ar ! mios or fleets of the United- States, and so iir as" the issue of the war was concerned, lie and the Alabama might just as well neve: have been in existence ut ail. He "destroyed ago <1 many merchant men. hut we can hardly suppose that these were to the heart of Americans) than the 1 mon, against which the states men ami the military chiefs, and the armies j . i iuit h:i\ • a,ready been amm i. had1 (lone so mu'.,!i) while Capf. iSctnine.-i had ; actu ally (Julio mailing. Not that the work 1 he did was at ali insiuiiii'icant in itself; | .jiiite the reverse; but it was insignificant compared with what was done, so far as the safety of the Union and the destruc- j i tina -f the lives of the Fedor Is are can : eerned, by the least of ilie Confederate ’ Cenerais. Perhaps the chief fault of Capt j Simmies, but for which only theConfeder- : i aey. had it survived, could have called him to account, was his jeopardising and losing the cme efficient crul-cr of the Smith in a battle with a man-of-wp- belonging to ^ an enemy in posmssimi of a large fleet of ! ironclads. | £..y During dc sort, a bottle of Constantin was produced, which for age and flavor was ! supposed to be matchless. It was liquid gyld | in acryMsl flagon a ray of the sun descending 1 into a goblet, it was nectar which was worthy | of Jove, and in which Bacchus would have I revelled. The noble head of the House of Bussell himself helped his guest to a glass of ihis choice w ne, and D; Grammont on tasting it declared it to be excellent. The Duke of I Bedford, anxious to judge of its quality. ! poured out a glass, which no sooner aj - i preached his lips than, with a horrible contm - : tion lie exclaimed, ‘-Why, what on earth is this? The butler approached, took tlie bottle, applied it to his nostrils, and to the dismay ol j his master pronounced it to be castor-oil.’— />- rfts or my Memory. >■>. Lord W. P. I.ennox. How Men -Bi sr Dr.’- Mon with un tssuming wives never fail It is the hus )atul of sucli women as Mrs. Dash and aidy Brilliant who find themselves face to ace with t lie Sheriff and certain mysteri nts documents adorned with red tape and wafer big enough for target exercise, fhe desire of a New York feminine is to iiitshine her neighbors—not in mental ac [uiiements, blit in gingerbread ornaments nd gold-. Ige 1 scuttles If Mrs. Dash jets tip a game supper—woodcocks stuffed vitb gold dust—Lady Brilliant takes the viiul out of her sails by getting up another, n which (lie prevailing dish will be birds if paradise swimming in gravy made of nelted pearls, it is this rivalry, and not labbling in railroad stocks, that bring ru nation to the fast men of Wall street The ■ il! fortune ' of which they so much com dain, it is no more nor less than ft brainless vile. If they would comeback to happi less, they must direct their attention, not o the fluctuations of the stock market, but he ruinous absurdities of their own fire ides. Thousand dollar repast don't pay vliile the merchant who purchases one mmlred dollar handkerchiefs for a “duck if a wife, should not wonder if the time ivontually comes when a “ goose of a lushand." will lack shirts, or be ill sup died with them. What Yoi no l’t;oj*),K*sntnii,D Know. fhe best inheritance which parents can jive their children is the ability to help md take care of themselves. This is bet er than a hundred thousand dollars a iieee. in any tumble or difficulty, they .. j..11_i.u.t. >f two hands. Those who c m do nothing md have to'he waited'on, are helpless and roily disheartened in the misfortunes of ife. Those who arc active and hardy licet troubles with a cheerful face and nsily surmount them. Let young poo ile. therefore, learn to do as ninny things i -possible, livery boy should know how. sooner or later: 1. To dress himself,black his own hoots. :ut his brother's hair, wind a watch, sew in a button, make a bed, and keep the dothes in order. 2. To harness a horse, grease a wagon, aid harness a team. 8 To carve.and wait on table. 4. To milk the cows, shear the sheep, aid dro a veal or mutton. 5. To reckon money and keep accounts airrectly, and according to good .book keeping rules. G To write a neat appropriate, briefly expressed business letter, in a good hand, fold and superscribe it properly, and write properly 7. To plow, sow grain or grass, drive a mowing machine, build a neat stack, and pitch hay. 8. To put up a package, build a fire, mend broken tools, whitewash a wall and regulate a clock. livery girl i tumid know how: 1. To sew and knit. 2 To mend clothes neatly. 8 To make beds. 4. To lire.-.- her own hair. ft. To wash the if-lies and sweep the carpets. G. To make good bread, and perform all plain cooking. 7 To keep her l ooms, drawers avd elos els in order. S Tn win'll :i - 11" m-ir-1:1 nc. !)■ To make good butter and cheese. 1 s). To make a dress, and children's clothing. I!. To keep accounts and calculate in terest1 12. To write l’old and superscribe letters properly. Id. To nurse the sick efficiently, find n <r faint at sight of a drop of blood. 1-j. To be really to render efficient aid and comfort to those in trouble, and in an unostentatious way. 15. To receive and entertain visitors, in the absence or sickness of her mother. A young lady who can do all these things well, and who is always ready t< render aid to the aliiieted and mitigate tin perplexities of those around her, will brim more comfort to others and happiness t< herself, anil be more esteemed than if slit only knew how to dance, simper, sing am play on the guitar or piano. -Who was the first post-boy? Cailtnus he carried letters from Phoenicia to Greece. _The household furniture of a deceasei h n i-i-ter was being sold in a country town v, If'ti mio in ighhor remarked to another, tha the stock of goods and chattels appeared t> he ext remedy scanty, considering the rank o the late owner. “It is so,” was the reply “but. file fact i- , lie had very few causes, am therefore evaU r.st have many effects.” 0 * MISI'EMANEOIS ITEMS. -When a witty Knglish Government defaulter, after his recall, was asked, on his arrival home, if lie left India on account oi1 tho state of his health, he replied: “They say' there's something wrong in the chest ” -In a largo parly one evening, the c\m vcrsaliou turned upon .young men’s allowance at college. Tom Sheridan lamented the ill judging parsimony of many parents in that respect. “I am sure, Tom,” said his father, ‘‘vou need not complain; I always allowed you eight hundred n year.” “Yes. father I must confess you allowed it, but then it was never paid.” ——At the President’s last reception, a pe culiar style of wearing tho iiair among tho ladies v.a a subject of much comment, and i lie remarks were, for the most part; altogeth er in its favor, a: a becoming substitute for the waterfall. Tho Iiair was allowed to fall it full long!it, without fetter or bond of any1 d‘ script ion, and was thought by many to he lie most graceful style tho cvorchnnging em press, Fashion, has yet presented to public patronage. -An exchange paper tells the following anecdote of a college student who was dis tinguished for his address in evading the writing ofthemes, and palming o(T the cur rency of others ns his legal “tender.” One evening ho read a theme of unusual mf if; but t’.ie professor, as he sat down in the pride of conscious excellence, asked, “Is that, origi nal?” “Yes, sir,” said the student, “Are you sure of it?” queried the professor, doubt ittgly. “Why, yes, sir,” replied the student, with imperturbable gravity; “it had -original’ over it in the paper I took it from.” A Musical I’i.ow Up—The Rev. Mr, R- when residing at. (buirerlmry some years ago. twns reckoned a good violincelhi player. His sight being dim, obliged him „r,i„ . ...ir ,1 —n„,. 1 i:-.. . " nuffera itc generally employed his fingers in 1!i:t off" e, Him liny the spoils into the sound holes of tl>o violincollo. A waggish friend of nis popped a quantity of gunpowder into 11-’s instrument. The ton equipage be ing removed, music became the order of the evening, and li- dashed away at Ygn liall’s “ ith. li-came to uliar's rest, the candles were snuffed, and lie thrust the igni ted wick into the usual place—-fit fritgor, and tiling went (he fiddle to pieces. -Hharles Fox used to brag that he could go lightly shod in wet weather without getting cold, and with much good humor told the following incident. Walking in Oxford streel ho found a tug at his pocket-handker chief, and seized the culprit in the very act of abstraction. On getting to the police station le a-i sd the fellow whether anything in his bice procured him the honor of being selected for the attempt. “Why, sir, “your face is well enough; but, "noticing yen Wear thin shoes oil the slushy pavement, 1 at once set you d lira for a Tom No Id; . OutoiN OF Cii-UT IIX II.vmTSit-'Muny of the most pernicious habits were contracted origi nally lor the sake of health. Wine and dis tilled liquors are taken to strengthen ; tobac co, opium mid hasheesh to relieve loir spirits ; card playing to amuse Hut, too often, the person.- who innocently acquire such habits in v not how to limit the extent of the indul gence, or to abandon them entirely when toiind to b ' prejudicial. The dose id" excitc ; ment must be increased; habit exerts its sway ; we are enclosed in its net, and happy ■ is he who is able with resolute effort to extri cate him cdf from it, | -Hie following was i! niton's reply when i !.■ 1 by king tieorgr III. what he had been ■ n ;. It appears that lie had been aecus 1 1 "d to supply the king with articles of ormolu, but ceased to show himself at Court, ivli.-u li ' s.;ie iqi that branch of manufacture ■ m enter.rig into partnership with Watt. one time after he appeared at the ltoyai i , mid iv is nt once recogniz d by the King, “iiii! iiauii‘i:i, ; s :d lie, “it is long since we have seen you at Court. 1’ray ivhat business «;<» in. -I jim engage#*, y<»«r Majesty, in t ho jn-ndnetion of a commodi ty which is the desire of Kings. “And what is that?”. Asked tin* kin-. ! “I’ower, your Majesty, replied Moulton, who pfeded to give a de-criptiop of the great uses to which the steam engine was capable \ of being applied. (V.Mft.tx Urtr.ATioxsiiip.—A corrps’ lent ! of Harper's Monthly is involved In de !ic perplexities. Ho writes: 1 got acquainted with a young widow, wl»p lived with her step-daughter in the same i house. 1 married the widow; my father fell, shortly after it, in love with the step-daughter of my wife, and married her. My wife be came the mother-in-law andalso the daughter in-law of my own father; my wife’s step d utgln r is my step-mother, and I am the 1 step-bit her of my mother-in-law. My step mother, who is the step-daughter of my w ife, ha- a boy; he is naturally my step-brotlicr, but because ho is the son of my wife's step daughter, so is my wife the grand-mother of the little boy, and 1 am tlic grand-fatlier of my step-brother. My wife has also * boy; my step-mother is consequently the step-sis ; ter of my boy, and is also his grandmother, ! because he i.s the child of her step-sou ; and my father is the brother-in-law of my son, because he has got his step-sister for a wife. 1 am the brother of iny own son, who is the i sou of my step-mother; lam the brother-ia ; ( law of my mother, my wife is the aunt of her 1 own son, my sou is the grand-son of my fath er, and T ant my own grandfather.