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m r> ... DES ARC CITIZEN. .....—~~~~.... in'ir.tiv.fi'tiSi+rx** ^rrotcd to Urns, ftolimjs, Agriculture, Social frogrros. Education. X*xt 3rt5 an* ^cicnccss. Manufacturing. Commerce, ^»ni5fi»e«t c. ■“' ___ _____ iwta m.TSTIKn BEPTWM n»n 1W.-S*. u :— ■ •. - : -~rr^=m ■ • .'V^r... _: ■"■ ^-^r:, ■ ■ .-^..-.-i-A——; E. H. POE, Proprietor. “VERITAS OMNIROTEJWS.”___ J. H. MLDING, Poblishcr. I VOLUME!_DES ARC, AKKAKSAS, NOVEMliEB 17, 1860. NUMBER 37. i'Tii« Des Arc Oitizen. TERMS—83 50 PER ANNUM PAYABLE IN ADVANCE. H ATES OF ADVEBTISISfi. 0u(/s<y«.nr*t (1« Ones of this size type) for 3nc insertion, $1; e»«h additional insertion, 75 cents. __ -H in. | 2 in | 3 in. | <> hi 11 yenr I --^TTTTsTTiii S'.l 0(1 $12 On $20 00 1 Square, - ((|) o;) n o0 14 Oft 25 OO o«<l"'!res’ o 00 11 001» 00 17 00 30 00 ’ ,,f|! 11 00 13 00 16 00 20 00 40 00 ! Column’ 13 00 16 00 18 00 25 (Ml 50 00 I 16 00 IS 00 22 00 30 00 60 00 ] Column', 10 00 21 00 27 00 35 00 70 00 I Advertisers by (he year will be restricted to their legitimate business. Personal communications charged double the rates of regular advertisements. Legal"advertisements will be charged, for one square or.less, first insertion $1, and 75 cents per square for each additional insertion Advertisements not ordered for a specified time, will be inserted till forbidden, and charged for accordingly. AU advertising due after second insertion. Our ioi» I’cin'i"? Department. We have supplied ourselves with a good j assortment of Printing Material and arc , ready to execute all kinds of Job Printing, on reasonable terms. We are. prepared to print Pamphlets, Cata logues, Posters, large or small, Cards, Hall Tickets. Bill Heads, Blanks of every descrip tion, for Clerks, Sheriffs, Justices of the Peace, Constables, &c. ej. Sims .A-llen, Wholesale and ft&oes AND GENERAL. RECEIVING. FORWARDING -AND £ommissiou 3Urrchaut, IJIIS ARC. ARKANSAS. lifts nml will keep on band a large and good selection of Furniture or ail kinds, suitable for tbe market, which lie offers on very reasonable terms. Also, a lot of I, I M E . Mlt. GEO. 'V. VADEN is doing business with J. Sims Am.kn, and would res pectfully inform iiis old friends and acquain tances, that he is still alive and kicking at the old stand, and would be most happy to sec all of his old friends, renew acquaintances and both start anew to fortune. Call, gentlemen, l promise to do you no harm—but think 1 can make it to your interest to do so. jun28 HARDWICK HOUSE, NO'S. Cl, 03 AND 6S ADAMS STREET, MEMPHIS, TESS. 11I1E proprietors tender many thanks to the public for the liberal patronage extended to them for the past year. I tie nouse n is within the past few months been thoroughly Renovated, Painted and Furnished. The House is now open to the public at the following rates : Transient, per dav,.* 3 00 Per Week...S18 00 Per Month,.S00 00 Day Board Per Month,.SSo 00 OF EX AT ALE HOURS. IIAUDWICK & NEAMS, oct27-3in Proprietors. T. J. Olipliant’s ghatoqtaph Staoms, HUEN.V %'TSTA STREET, DES ARC, ARK. PHOTOGRAPHS, Ambrotypes, Mellnino types, etc, taken with neatness and dis patch. Give him a call und yon shall be sat isfied. _ sop8-tf \YM. SIUNROE. A- L- SMITH HIVNROC & SMITH, MANUFACTURERS OF Saddles, 2tnrMC$iji & gvitUcs OF EVEKV bKSCIlIPTtOS DES ARC, ARKANSAS. Constantly on hand, Saddle B&JI>' Collars Whips and Spurs. Hepairin boatly done. Orders eolioited ot*gl DES ARC ADVERTISEMENTS. 11. G, GILT., .1. G. GI LI., GILL & BRO., Des Arc; Ark., HAVE JUST RECEIVED TIIEIR NEW STOCK OF FALL AND WINTER GOADS, CONSISTING QF LADIES & GENTS DRESS GOODS, OF ALL KINDS, Hxts, Cap1, Boot", Shoes,; LADIES CLOAKS AND HATS, Clothing;, Notions, Enncy Wliite GOtlDS OF ALL DESCRIPTIONS, Usually kept in Dry Goods Houses. Also a nice lot of FAMILY CKOCERIES, Quecriswave, Ilollow-Ware, Hardware, Glassware, &c., 4tc. We take the greatesf pleasure in showing our stock, and furnishing a list of prices to the public, so they may be their own judges as to where they can get the best, bargains. *#»We will pay the highest market prices for nil kinds of Country Produce and Cotton Please give us a call before purchasing else where. oct8- GILL & BRO. Des Arc, Ark.i HAVING purchased the entire interest of Bozen, Blakeney & Co., would respectfully inform the public, tlint they are now receiving and opening, a most desirable stock of DRY GOODS* CLOTHING, Boots anti Shoes, AND A GENERAL STOCK OF GROCE R IES . These were all purchased at the lowest fig ures. and will lie sold to their old customers, all good new ones, and cash buyers, as low as any well regulated House in the Stare. The Ladies will find a full line of Goods— handsome, good and cheap. An extra oar gain in Ladies’ Cloaks, Hats, and Dress Trimmings. lie sure and givens a call, and we will guarantee a pleasant and satisfactory trade. We have on hand a good supply of Bagging and Rope, and in a few days will be in re ceipt Of Bacon, Card, Fish, Cheese, Su gar, Coffee, Molasses. Candles, Soap, Cooking Sloves, Casllngs. And in fact, almost every article usually sold in this market. iiazen & mcpherson. Des Arc. October 5, lStifl—oct8-tt ' A WELL SELECTED STOCK OF fresh DRUGS,! MEDICINES AND CHEMICALS, School Books and Stationery, Paints, Oils, Dye-Stuffs, Window-Glass, Per fumery, Patent Medicines, Wines, Brandies, Whiskey, for medicinal purposes. Dromgoolc's celebrated Southern Romedies, invariably for cash, at small profits. jul21 BMIYEY & bbo. JOHNSON & DAVIS, Wholesale & Retail DRUGGISTS, DES ARC, ARKANSAS. tt EEP on hand a large assortment of Drdgs, IV Medicines, Paints, oils. Perfumery, Patent Medicines, Wines, Brandies. Whiskey, for medical purposes, which we will sell low for cash Prescriptions and orders filled promptly!_.inly^-tf Des Arc Hotel, lllPm & &WMD3, Proprietors. fTlHIS establishment is now open, for the 1 reception of the TRAVELING PUBLIC. AH persons having regard for convenience and comfort, would do well to give us a call. Our table will always be supplied with the best that the market affords. fel>2H FOR SALE! A roitniu.r. k\i.ini: mid boiler. , /"vSE Portable Engine and ■ Boiler V / with all the fixtures. It is now in ' good running order. A bargain can be -— liad, by applying to Samuel Carr, Des Arc ^ immediately. iciU if AT THELAST. 11T D. DE WaKDENAI*. Is some one singing in the street ? Or am I dreaming? fur I bear A choir of voices wildly sweet Float softly to my dying ear. It sinks into the distance. Hark ! It rises ; mow it falls again : Bo sweet and clear I scarcely mark The pauses in the wondrous strain. I do not wonder: think not so ; The golden doors were left ajar, And that wild music wandered through The shining of the evening star. You must not think of me as dead Nor lost, but merely gone before. Borne, bv the grace of him who bled. Before you to the voiceless shore For what i? death when faith is strong? Or what is night when morning break? But rest to those who suffer long, And light to those who gladly wake. Now kiss me, sweet! Nay. closer come; 1 feel my strength is ebbing fast, And in my ears a distant hum Of waves which murmur lapsing past. w 1 u' 1 ] They come ! they come! more near, more i near, I hear the ripple weird and dread : The shadow of a nameless fear Is slowly darkening around my bed. More light ! more light.' my eyes grow ! dim At threshold of the heavenly gate I pause, and vainly grope for Him Who seems to leave me dt.olate. One moment only. Lo ! I sec His hand roll back these mists of fear; They wait in lustrous white for me, To waft me up Hie azure clear. See! see! a myriad rays and lights Are flashing up the mighty dome ; - - - » Stretch out their hands to bear me ' home. There all the glory grandly meets, In wide and glistening flakes it falls ; j It flashes on the golden streets, It gleams upon the jasper walls. It flashes on a thousand corns, A thousand facets’ glistering sheen: The river's glancing waves it. stems With shining tracts of red and green. I see the broad light grow and grow Far up the liiglit where angel throngs, In shining co-orts, row and row. Sing to the Lamb their endless songs. They beckon each with golden palm : 1 seem to draw a purer breath; I clasp the everlasting Arm, And wake. “Where is thy sting, 0 death ?” NO! No sun— no moon 1 No morn—no noon— No dawn—no dusk—no proper time of day— No sky—no earthly view— No distance loooking blue— No road—no street—no “t'other side the way’ — No end to any row— No indications where the Crescents go— No top to any steeple— No recognitions of familiar people— No courtesies for showing ’em— No knowing ’em— No traveling at all—no locomotion— "No go,” by land or ocean— No mail— no post— No news from any foreign coast— No park— no ring—no afternoon gentility— No company—no nobility— No warmth-no cheerfulness-no healthful ease No comfortable feel in any member No shade—no shine—no butteflies—no bees No birds—no fruits—no flowers— jto leaves— November ! General Henry A. Wise’s Address. From the Baltimore American, (in tensely radical.) we take the following, which is the fullest report of General Wise’s address that we find. We give place to it as a specimen of southern eloquence, and southern feeling, intense in both, but while inculcating in beau tiful language true southern sentiment, in vain do wc look for those evidences of hostility to the general government of the United States, which the radical iiress industriously proclaim. It is n worthy testimonial from eloquent liv ing lips, to the eloquent graves of tin dead •' Fellow-Citizens: A mourning peo ple meet in the midst of graves, tli< dust of which is more sacred than that of kindreds, to do homage to the vir tues, to commemorate the deeds of then heroes. 1 came to condole with anc comfort the living. Search among tin tushes of the dead for examples how tc survive their death, how to live aftci them, how to flourish the seed of inde struetible truth. Alas! who are tin dead ? The buried, or rather Hie bruis cd anil broken survivors ? The blcsset buried are passed the fear of tutiin tempest or a wreck on shore. Thosi who escaped arc still subject to both The buried are now immortal, whib we survive to honor their names am ! deeds. They need no monument o I mausoleums of earth. No hostile ham ' cau strike them now. Eternity has seal i ed their testimony to the truth, l’os teritv will not permit human history t I be perverted to their shame. Thei ! death oniv proved that they were prc let-red of Heaven. When they fell the were not dead. Wc come not to bur ; the dead, but to touch their turf. The I have no tombs, and wc are ourselvc i alive again, to brave misfortunes u i they braved death, and to make out selves worthy of their sacrifice. Thei * mortal toes shall build their shrine | Their friends are too despoiled to moi j than mark the places whof-e they lie a around them. Their enemies are gath ering the whitening bones ol'those they repulsed ami slew to raise mounds to deeds made memorable, to memoirs made worthy of mention by their steel, and every stone shall tell the story ot their woe to every passer-by. Now do we want their examples more than dur ing the war, and need to heed them more than it we needed Gideon to bear us through the flaming ol'the red hot war. AV’c need more than a Moses now to bear us up in dungeons of defeat, and lead us out by ways, to prove us worthy of the great trials with which our honor is intrusted. 1 invoke, then, the mighty Confederate dead, and lo! j instantly the valiant clay of this con sc crated valley of Virginia becomes in-, spired with motion in every atom. A grave in Lexington, trembling, quickly gives up a life-breathing spirit iu a greatexample-the sanctified Stone-: wall Jackson ! A very Michael ot do- ; liverame Ids example spunks to us ol j the intrinsic sterling stamkiia of his j moral greatness. IIjs Christian hero-1 ism, the eternal adamant of his charac ter and nature; his supreme faith in God, faith in immutable moral laws ami principles, and in their might to pre vail in the end against all opposing power — these made him stonewall. From this example, which rises up lio l'ore us ■. ith its immortal fact, ! rever ently ask council here, amid these €un IVderate brave-. [Here the speaker apostrophized the character of Jackson . and continued.] The Stonewall ex;; i-: pile is not only admonishing, hut is cheering and lull ot hope, it puls to; shame not only the dead Machiavellian dogma that a faith, the truth ot a moral principle can ever or could ever he sub mitted to the arbitrament of arms, to be conquered hv the mere force ot num bers ; but it scouts that worse than im morality which maligns a cause worth Stonewall Jackson's lighting lor, and worth liis dying for, by calling it a lost cause. If crucifixion could loose a L'aiiM.% i m; »»» .. conquered, lie died that the cause might live, and from that day the blood , of the martyr lias been the seed of the church. If our cause islost it was false ; j if true, it is not lost: first victories can not be termed final results. There were many errors in our ways of going out to war. Those errors fell. The truths for which we fought yet live. A\ hilst waiting for their resurrection or their coming in this hour of darkness and doubt—to all who, recreant, would abandon faith ; to all v. ho, despairing, j would abandon hope ; to all w ho, tempt ed, would resort to forbidden ways ; to all who. timid, would shamefully suc dumb ; to all who, impatient— At this point the speaker addressed ( the old Virginians, assuring them that i old things must pass away, even the j glories with the weakness ot the past. ; Then, turning to the youdg Virginians, j he promised them that a day w as dawn- ; ing bright beyond any that gilded ini the past the hills and valleys ot the land i of every man’s pride. He inquired it , tliev, too, impatiently exclaimed, “what > better can v/e do?” and said that they j must strive to bear their lot without i reproach or guilt; that they must have | patience, and that nothing could be i worse than dishonor or desertion. It tliev answer that they are poor—that Jackson failed—that his faith was im practicable and an obstruction—they made a great mistake. Here the gov ernor made a long appeal to the young men of Virginia not to emigrate; to! take their fortunes as they are, and from ! the present small beginnings again j work forward. Me asked them whore j j tliev would go if they leave V irginia? | Would they leave the United States? ! And if they supposed the United States ! not free, where else on earth did they expect to find a people as free ? lie ex horted them to a life of work—of con stant, unobtrusive, quiet labor. If Vir ginia’ sons will but serve her and save j her, she shall, indeed, he. one and indi j visible: a new Virginia; greater, i stronger, grander than was old Virgin ! ut. The orator then stated his views | as to the causes of the slow progress of I Virginia as compared with the other states. In brief, these causes were that slavery created a lauded aristocracy an tagonistic to progress and rcpcllant to immigration. Proceeding in his argu ment lie stated at length the advantage of inviting immigration now that sla very was destroyed. lie spoke further of the great mineral resources of Virginia. The only direct j allusion he made to any political mea j sure was his reference to (lie division ! of the state and the creation of the state of West Virginia as "the bastard | child of political rape.” Nevertheless, he said, there is still substance enough left in Virginia to insure her honor and more than restore her prc-eniinenee. lie concluded as follows:. We catch, then, the inspiration of this faith, this hope, this life and strength, from the halo of these heroes. The great good that they have done lives after them. IHcascd'be their memories. I would. I if I could, call them back to me other j than in their example. I divine not | i why I or any were spared when they I were taken, unless to bear testimony to I j their truth and excellence, their iuno , i cenec and inviobility, and to try to live | i worthy of their deaths and to be the i more ready when then’ Master calls to meet them in heaven. Bring, then, no I j cvpress here! Bring laurels to thesi . consecrated graves. May virtue, tin • I only amaranthine flower on earth, keej ; beautiful tlicir turf. Truth, the onl\ lasting treasure, be their monument Mourn with no funeral dirge, but witl * ; exalting anthems swell their note o praise. 10"* A quaint writer says: "I liavi ir I seen women so delicate that they wen s : afraid to ride for fear of the horse run sluing away: afraid to sail for tear tin - boat might upset; afraid to walk to r | fear the dew might tall; but I neve •• saw one afraid to he married, which i e i far more riskful than all three put to tl gother.” Effects of the Constitutional Amend ment. Ettract from a SrrlcH of Gex. Mo Ci.krnand. “ Hut nvhnt is tlie real purpose of that Constitutional amendment? No man is so blind as not to see. lie Who runs may read. Its inspiring motive, its primal aim, is to bring the excluded States by moral or physical coercion to enfranchise the negro, to conlor on him the elective franchise, to make him the political equal of the white man. Sup pose tiiis: was accomplished, what would be the consequence ? The black and white population* of‘Mississippi, pre vious'to the rebellion, were about equal in point of numbers. Now, probably, since ilio ravages of the war. the ne groes are the most numerous. Possess ed ol'thc ballot. they would linve power to elect a negro Governor, negro Leg islators and negro .fudges, and to send negroes to both branches ot Congress. Is this consummation to he desired? Would the negroes be capable of ad ministering the executive, legislative and indicia! departments of the (state? Would the laws they would enact he wholesome—would their administra tion of public justice conform to the laws—would their execution ot these laws be efficient and satisfactory ? _ Are they capable of a wise and beneficent participation of the complex and intri cate nflairs of this great nation, at home and abroad? \\ bo will say so? \\ bat intelligent and candid man will say so? Have they ever proved themselves ca pable of "self-government? Did thev do it in the massacres oftSt. Domingo? Have they done it in the political con vulsions which continually distract and atflict JIttyli ? Are they not savages in Africa now, as they have been for four thousand years? Arc they not canni bals in the benighted recesses of that country, sometimes devouring their own offspring, continually making war ........ oilier to make eatitivcs to he sold as merchandise for profit? Mill . worshipping reptiles and divinities; still-constructing their temples of hu man skulls—is it such a people who arc capable of self-government, of cherish ing liberty, of fostering Christianity and civiliatioii; of perpetuating the Well being, the happiness and the glory of the American people ? Is it not absurd to sav so? Is il not the madness of in sui.it'v to sav so ? Yet the Radicals sav so. and to give effect to the declaration promise the holders of some two 01 three thousand millions of government bonds to exempt these bonds forever trom Federal as well as State taxation if they will lend their concurrence to confer the elective franchise upon the negro. Are we not stunned—arc wo not ap palled at the proposition? When be fore was an open, shameless proposi tion ever made to pervert and degrade the fundamental law, the Constitution of the nation, to the charactei- and office of a municipal code lor t lie hone tit ol capitalists and to purchase their suf frages. No other sttcli example is of fered in the annals of Pagan or Clu-is tian nationality. It is reserved for the Radicals of the present day. maddened hv passion and debauched by power, to institute such a precedent. And what is the impulsion to tins extravagance and fatuity ? What is the incentive to so anomalous and atrocious a measure? Power—the love ot power; the love of place ; the love of office ; the love of emolument. This is the motive; this is tlie impulsion. For these they have excluded ten States from the Un ion ; for this they would denationalize States, dissolve the Union, and so con stitute both States and Union at pleas ure. , Ron sc, my countrymen, to the rescue! The Constitution, 1hc trophy of the successful revolution ot our fathers; the Union, the embodiment of your na tional greatness; the cause, of free gov ernment and human progress; the dig nity of the white man—the conquering Caucasian—are at stake. Rush to the | breach and drive hack the hordes ot i furies that would desecrate and destroy 1 .,ii Umar, nml establish UDOi) their ruins ! a vast, overshadowing central dcspo- j tism wliich would swallow up your i liberties and your liopes. perhaps for ever. Stand bv (lie old flag, and stand by the man who at your command boro it aloft amid the smoke and fire of the raging battle. Stand by them as jour ancestors stood by Jefferson—as many of you stood by Jackson. Stand by them with constancy, courage and un tiring devotion, and you will merit vic tory and gain the applause of your chil dren and your children’s children. -> - You Can't Catch It.—You can’t catch it, bovs or girls. You may be as ! fleet of foot as the antelope, or you mayfly as on the wings of an eagle, ' but you cannot overtake it. Cannot overtake what? The bad word which lias passed your lips ! It has tied to heaven, and wrote i itself on the book of God. You cant I catch it. ,, The wicked deed you performed I I It soared to the judgement, and was stereotyped on the memory of the Judge.’ You can't catch it. The sinful thought you indulged! Its image was caught by the light of ' God’S eve, and photographed on the roll of your history. You can’t catcli Beware, then, O my children, what : you think, what you do ; what you say. gsg-Thought engenders thought. Place one idea on paper, another will follw it. and still 'another, until you . have written a page ; von cannot fathom ■ vour mind. There is a well of thought ■ ! there which lias no bottom : the more >! von draw ftom it. the more clear and ■ fruitful it will l»e. At first your idea * may come out in lumps, homely am, -' shapeless ; hut no matter, time and per - severance will arrange and feline them ■ sJ-bala. Losing the Happy out of a Heart. A mother who was leaving home on » visit, told hot- little boy and girl not lo go through a gate at the bottom of llieir garden. Which opened into the wood. The children Were Very happy for a long time after their mother had I,ceii gone, but at last in their play, laving reached the gate through which Lev were not. to pass, the little hoy be *an to feel an earnest desire to go Into he wood. He persuaded his sister to follow him. Nothing appeared to dia urb them, andafter some rambling and daring about, they returned, having joneluded not to tell their mother where they had been, unless she asked hem ; she had not expected them to iisober, and never thought of inquir ng. Notwithstanding tills, the little l>ov did not feel comfortable. He kne.W' te hud done wrong, and he could not Help feeling unhappy. When Sunday night came, and the ittlo hoy hud been washed lor bed, he nid his mother commenced to have a lice talk, as they usually had at that imy; James could not keep his sad iCcrct any longer from his kind moth* >r, so lie told her what lie and Ids sis ;er had done ; and in some sort, to show hat her command was needless, lie said hat nothing had happened to them, l'lie mother let them know that sorne hing had befallen them, and that they lad lost something, and urged her little jov to think what it could he. Perhaps die meant they had lost the habit, of jbedieuce. The little hoy could not liink for a long time of anything lie liad lost. He knew that he had left his i>nll safe, that his knife was in his pock- j jt, and that his slate pencil was at hand j when he wished to use it. lint as he | •ontilined to think, lie remembered 1 iow uneasy and uncomfortable he had j >een all the week, and at last, in a Itjjv, I lorrowfnl voice, he said: “Mother,! lid lose something in the wood, 1 did; I [ lost the happy out of my heart 1” Mexico and the United States Govern ment- „ . The following is the New l ork rimes’ dispatch of October 30th, referv ng to the reported treaty between the United States and the Mexican Liberal Uiovernmenj. Col. Lewis D. Campbell, the United states Minister to Mexico, 1ms left the jjty with credentials addressed to the Juarez Government, and with full instructions conforming in every res pect with the partial arrangement pre viously communicated between the United States, France and the Repub lic of Mexico. Under the arrangement now perfected, Napoleon is to com mence the withdraw al of the French may from Mexico next month, and iilthough lie has a year from that time lo complete the evacuation of Mexican soil, it is more than probable that the whole army will bo drawn by, dr be fore the 1st of January. With the withdrawal of the French army Max imilian takes his departure, and the farce of an empire on the North Amer ican continent is ended. The Admin istration undertakes to extend to the Juarez Government in Mexico, a pro tectorate which is to he operative, however, in ease of an emergency. In plain terms, our army on the Rio Grande, and our licet in the Gulf are to be held in readiness to assist Juarez should such assistance become lieefeS sary to him, in establishing his author ity as President of the Republic, and in bringing to work in full vigor the ma chinery of a Republican Government. The Administration has determined to send with Minister Campbell a mili tary officer of high rank, eminent abili ties and sound judgment, clothed with power to act in the emergency referred to. Lieut. Gen. W. T. Sherman is now spoken of in this connection and also Maj. Gen. W. S. Hancock. The res ponsible mission, it is stcpngly indica ted, has been tendered to Gen. Sherman, and there is reason to believe he will accept it; but should he decline Gen. Hancock will undoubtedly be sent. It is no part of the plan to nioveuuy Uni ted Stales force into Mexico until an occasion shall arise to render such a resort necessary ; but it is hoped that tliC aiuiliut? assumt-u vy y States, thus publicly hi sending un offi cer to Mexico clothed with this power, will be sufficient to overawe the vari ous political leaders of that country and the numerous rural factions that beset the land, and to lead to a unanimous submission to and support of the only Government that lias any pretensions to regularity and constitutionality, or any ability to establish and maintain itself. -- > Marriage and Death.-Why is it that 'the marriage announcement s are imme diately followed by the obituary notices in our papers ? Docs death tollow so close on the footsteps of marriage? Is orief the page that carries the train of happiness? Does the tomb open wide its dark and ponderous jaws be side the nuptial couch? ’Tis the, plan of life. The gleeful songs of light and merry hearts to-day, to-morrow will turn to funeral chants, and sobbing and lamentation be heard instead of glad pealing laughter. We read to-day of our friends’ marriage, and wish them joy ; to-morrow we sec their deaths re corded, and say “peace to their ashes.” Our merriest songs arc timed by loot falls of death, and the “silver chord” is j as fragile as a spider’s thread, aud the I "golden bowl” is more brittle than ' £ta88‘ ■---, ' gijf Give me that logic that will prove black to be white, and white no | color at all. Many are they who wield the weapon that can do it, and that too despite of reason. ‘I will prove to vou,’ savs the logician, ‘that every cat hath three tails.’ ‘And how?’ inquires the gaping multitude. ‘\V by thus : Nc cat hath t,vo tails.' ‘Granted.’ Kverj cat hath one tail more than no cat.'— •True.’ ‘Two added to one are cqna to three—ergo, every cat hath threi tailfc.’ iSALMAli U JN JJ1. An Irishman having been told that the price of bread hurt fallen, J6X* 'laimed: ‘This is the first time I ivetf icjiceil at the fall of my best friend/ ; 1ST Why arc women hard on clothes ?■ Because when they bliy a suit, they wear it out on the first day. i Bgy* Josh killings says if a man i# yoiiig to make a bu siness of serving tlid Lord, lie likes to see him do it wltfcit he measures onions, as well as when he hollars liailoluyur, tidr ‘Has your sister got a son or. a daughter ?’ asked a sou of Erin. ‘Upqif my life,’ was the reply, ‘1 don’t know whether I’m an aunt or an tmclc.’ S 85j5r ‘Run and get me an armful of wood,’ said a woman to her litisband, ijiic rainy day, ‘as yon arc wet and I am dry.’ The same plea was used for a dozen more errands. At Inst it was, ‘Get me a bucket of water, for you are wet and I am dry.’ The bucket Of wa ter was brought and thrown over liar, the husband exclaiming, ‘Now drtyom share, for von arc wet too.’ JST A gentleman remarkable fot having a great deal of lend in his fore head, culled one morning on a lawycfy who asked What news ? ‘Why,’ says the other, ‘I do not know} my head is confoundedly out of order Ibis morning.’ ‘That is extraordinary news, indeed/ said t he lawyer. ‘What! an extraordinary thing for a man to have the head-aehc ?’ ‘No, sir,’ says lie, ‘Ido not say that} hut for so simple a machine to get Out of order is extraordinary indeed!’ BST" ‘lloo-oo-oo-oo-father don’t lick me will you?’said a li*tie urchin' one day who had been guilty of sonic mj£« demeanor. . ‘What's the matter with you sir?’ ‘O, don’t lick me, father f’ ‘Gome along here, what have you been a-doing r ‘I broke that grid broken saucer—’ c ‘Come here to me !’ ‘I’m ’l'raid you’ll lick ttie,’ said the hoy trembling and shaking. j ‘Come here, I tell you.’ »i«r_i __ »• _»__ »» vill J Vll IIVAV III'. • ‘No.’ , f■; ‘Will you swear voU wont?’ ‘Yes.’ | ,Then I'wont come fatlier; for par son Johnson savs> he that will swear will til? ‘You ought to marry.’ ‘Never. ‘I know a good girl for you,’ ‘Let me alone.’ ‘But perhaps, you—-^sliaw!— you don’t know her. She is1 young;’ ‘Then she is sly.’ ‘Beautiful.’’ ‘Tho more dangerous,’ *Of good family.’ ‘Then she is proud.’ ‘Tender-Hearted,1 ‘Then she is .jealous.’ ‘She lias talents'.' ‘To kill me;’ ‘And one hundred thoftj sand dollars,’ ‘I’ll take her I’ 6-o?” Ait Irishman with his famityj landing at Philadelphia, was assisted on shore by a negro, who spoke to Patr riek in Irish. The latter taking the black fellow for one of his own coun trymen, asked how long lie had been in America? About four months nuts the reply. The chop-fallen. Irishman turned to his wife and exclaimed; ‘tint four months in this country and almost as black as jet.’ $5f~ A merchant a few miles from Petersburg, Va., oil Opening a hogs head of hardware, and comjparing its contents with the invoice of it; founds hammer less than was charged therein. This he mentioned to a young irish man, liis assistant, who immediately exclaimed, ‘Och, my honey, don’t b« after bothering your head about that didn’t the nagtir take it out Of the hogs head to open it with ?’ iS-?" A fond father, the oilier day, wishing to form an alliance T>ctwe6i liis stupid lubberly son and a tin, young lady of liis acquaintance, sen him to her with the following note: ‘Dear Madam—Allow me to presen my Bill for your acceptance. The lady sent the spooney.back talti fnHicr. with the following rcnlv: - ‘Dear Sir—Your bill is vetoed.’ JBSf* A man met n big Indian on th plains a few days ago. The genii savage bad a large bundle of scalp* and tlie: white man made bold to a*J him what lie had Ifhcn doing. ‘Hetlght said the noble r*d man, me been skit* inishing for waterfalls!’ jggy-Onc of the “Bureau” officials tyh{l traveling recently in the cars in Alaba’ 111a, noticed a lady with a negro girl I attendance, and lie remarked; "Ala dam. 1 see you have one of my chii dren.” “Yes, sir,” replied the lads “I prcceive the resemblance!” A sligtl tittering was observed in that part ol the car and, the “Bureau” left.’ | figrOne of oUr exchanges, In rietieik tlie presentation of it silver cup td j contemporary, says: “He need^ n | cup. lie can drink from any vessel thj contains liquor, whether the neck of ■ bottle, the mouth of a demijon, the spll j of a keg, Cr the bung of a barrel, .ms • I Cooks and Cooking.—Thote is ii more grievous error than that,a know ledge of cooking is unladylike. Un happily the error is very prevalent however, and the consequence is tha I “stewed shoe,” or “vegetable sotr | halls," or “gutta perclia patties” wouh I be quite as much in order on bills o ; fare as what now too often breaks th hearts and demolishes the teeth of on , people. And yet ladies abroad are na , so squeamish about visits tdthe kitehei | One of them, a real lady, that is a title join—lias actually a cooking book i: press, and it is said that she knows hov to do well all that she teaches. Oa we not have a reform in this respect As for the majority of the restaurants they ought to be incontinently condom tied for'long periods to hard labor a the severest kind—grinding their aw j wares, and never let to stop.