Newspaper Page Text
The LASH of
CIRCUMSTANCE by Harry Irving Greene Author <y”’Yosonde of the Wilderness" » llhislvatlona I jy Magnus O. K-oTtner* corwioHT wo w.aoayMAii Tf, BYNOPBIB. Abner Halllday, a nilm*rly mtlllonnlro. IH r.iiiml gagged. bound ami Inaenidblo In Jils room, hla an fa rilled and $40,000 mlss inK. The thread of tin- story In taken up hy hla nephew Tom. Living In the annn aru ot h*-*r relatives; reckless Bruce Halllday un d pretty (.’lure Wlnton. Uruee. who I* a bond broker, baa been trying to ralao SIO,OOO to put through a deal und nave himself from flnuolal ruin. lie baa applied to his miserly uncle and to others Tor the loan but has been refused. Tom sends for William LoDuc. an old-time rrlond conected with a detective agency, in relating tho story Tom reverts to bis acquaintance with a Mrs. I»ace. a wealthy widow, whose business agent Is Kldiard Mackay. a boodler and political boss. CHAPTER V.—(Continued.) **7ou have come ut last. I was growing Impatient. I was lonesome to-night and wanted some ono to talk to me—preferably you. Do you know, I had been thinking -of you Just be fore you called me up. Perhaps It was thought transmission that made you ring me a moment later. Who knows?" She laughed musically as I took her Angers and bent my lips to them. "Mrs. Dace, thought transmission to remind mo of you would be grossly superfluous. I am going to be per fectly plain with you. It Is barely pos sible that I have thought of something else since I saw you Inst, but If I have I do not now remember what It was. However, you flatter me." Sho with drew her hand with a sudden avert ing of her eyes, smiling again. "No. It was not flattery. I also am a plnln person and do not speak in parables. Resides, what harm to think of one’s friends?” She half turned an easy chair for me and I seated myself In It. my eyes running over the room. The quiet richness of its furnishings wus a revelation. Ex quisite taste was In the very air. Several of the darkly rich pictures were either original masterpieces or copies so cleverly that I could not detect the difference. The oriental vases were magnificent to kens of barbaric art, and were over flowing with great clusters of blood red roses. Tho furniture was of the handsomest and the tapestries heavy and rich. As to Mrs. Dace's Income I had no but at least her apartments were high of rental and equipped with extravagance. For some reason, Richard Mackay's name came creeping through my mind like an evil thing, and I squirmed Inward ly nt the thought. I had never seen the man s' faco outside of the papers, but that in Itself was enough. While It was not unhundsome In a strong animal way, the stamp of vice was In delible upon It. It seemed a sacri lege to even mention his name In con nection with that of this exquisite woman, for his reputation wus as contaminating as his personality was poisonous. Furthermore. he was married. It Is not my Intention to go further Into the particulars of my private af fairs with Mrs. Dace than Is neces sary for a complete understanding of the circumstances which surrounded the mysterious crime against my uncle. Briefly, I will say that In the next month we were much together, and most of the time alone. She seemed to prefer it that way; I cer tainly did. and under those auspicious surroundings our friendship rapidly thickened. It was a delirious time to me. wherein during the days I walked like one In a trance when apart from her; dreamed rapturously of her by night and was In a chafing fever of discontent when not by her side. Of Bruce's dragon I saw nothing, while ns for other would-be suitors, sho tact fully kept them nt bay. Having oc casion to notice this, and of course being secretly delighted by’ It. I nev ertheless one day asked her why she shunned those who wished to pay her attentions. She stifled a yawn be hind her handkerchief. "Most men bore me." she answered, quietly. I leaned closer. "I wish you to toll mo frankly— And do 1?" She swayed away from mo slightly, not answering, her cheeks swept by her falling lashes and her bosom swelling; to Its round fullness. I drew so close that her soft hair brushed my face. "Matle —tell me," I pleaded. Her eyes, in whose fathomless ■depths the soul of any man might well have been drowned, looked up at me. She smiled and one hand fell feather light upon my own, setting every nerve to tingling as a harp vibratos when swept broadcast by a hand. And an earthwork Is annihilated by a cloudburst, so was all my restraint swept away by the flood of passion that arose within me; my blood leap ing like a mountain torrent and my heart fighting its way to my throat. Not stopping to think what I said or did. scarcely realizing; only knowing that I loved this creature with n pas sion tlint would no longer he con trolled, 1 crushed her to me and held her helpless as I rained kisses upon her eyes and lips and cried out my love for her in broken, half-coherent sentences. She did not resist, and I doubt if I would have known it had she done so. such was the intensity of my fervor. Nor did she respond in tho least, and when my first ardor had exhausted Itself and my arn>B re laxed she quietly broke away from ine. Her face was flushed and her hair disordered, but her voice was as calm as the first time she ever spoke AND THEN THE WORM TURNED Remark Really More Than Suffering Street Car Paßßcnger Could Stand Without Complaint. At either end of n seat in a Broad ■way open car was an Individual, the one at the far end smoking a very bad cigarette. Midway between these two sat something very fat. Not only was it very fat. but its hat was fat with feathers, its fingers were fat to me und she told me that 1 was for getting myself And must leave her at once. Uncertain as to whether she had submitted to my outburst with more or less indifference as the best way of extricating herself from nn embarrassing situation, or whether she was secretly angry, yet worried greatly over the consequences of my impetuosity, I held out my hand ap pealingly as I begged her forgiveness that In my groat love for her I had tuken advantage of my superior strength. My hand she eluded by a step backward and her perfectly mod ulated voice once more bade me a non commltal good night. I threw my overcoat over my arm and turned to the door. "But at least you may tell me If 1 am forgiven," I pleaded, as heavy of heart I paused upon the threshold. Her expression remained changeless. "I have not fully decided. You will know later." "Then I may hope that I have not sinned beyond redemption and that I may see you again?" "You may call me up In a few days when you have recovered your bal ance.” "And until then I must wait for my answer?" "Until then you must wait. Good night.” I bowed, passed Into the hallway and loft her, hope and fear battling In my bosom. CHAPTER VI. When I called her up three days later she seemed to have forgotten that any such Incident had ever hap pened. She passed the usual pleas antries of the day over the wire, laughed ns softly and musically as ever, and ended by telling me that I might call that evening. When I did so she received me with neither more nor less than her customary friendli ness. I was mystified. As to what was going on in the wonderland that lay behind her eyes I had no concep tion further than the evident fact that she had not been seriously offended. And that was solace enough for the present. Of course I would renew* the asnault-at-arms when the opportunity seemed propitious, but for the time being I would resort to steady siege. I renewed my devotions. As had been the case before, I again haunted her. Necessarily this soon became bruited around the circle of our acquaintances, and occasionally echoes of the gossip reached my ears. Bruce spoke of It once or twice quiz zically, but as I ignored Ills remarks he soon quit bothering me with them. Clare, as usual, had her little say. "I hear that you and Mrs. Dace are exceedingly good friends these dnys, and that you are with her nearly everywhere," she began sweetly. "I wish you would tell me about It.” Now as a matter of fact I was secret ly proud to be recognized as the ac cepted suitor of so beautiful a wom an, and Clare was an entirely differ ent proposition from Bruce to confide in. So I admitted nonchalantly that we were on excellent terms. She frowned a little. “Well, I suppose, of course, that it Is all right, nnd anyway it is none of my business. But she is such a mysterious woman. She lives like a duchess and everybody says her hus band left her scarcely anything. When that little is gone what will she do unless she marries a rich man? And how on earth could you get money enough to support a woman of her tastes as she would demand to be sup ported? You Just answer me that, Tom Halllday." Now I had rather expected some thing like this from Clare, but never theless the question annoyed me somewhat. It was the identical one that had been making my sane mo ments a bugaboo for many nights and days past; still I hated to be remind ed of it by another person. Even now I was beginning to feel the drain of her upon my resources, although I had done nothing extravagant. I had taken her to the theater, paid for car riages, and bought her luncheons and flowers, but beyond that had done practically nothing. And in a certain way there was much satisfaction in tlie thought that I had offered her so little in the way of allurement besides my own society. While there were men by the score who would have been overjoyed to squander money upon her. she had laughingly excused herself to them for the sake of Inex pensive little evenings with me. As proof that she really preferred me It seemed conclusive, and was the thing that gave me the most hope. How ever I did not speak and Clare went on; “Some of her gowns cost more than you earn in a month, while as for supporting an establishment at the Arcadia—well, of course the very Idea is preposterous. Now why don’t you be sensible?” I smiled, scenting what was coming. “And what is your idea of sense, Clare?” I Inquired. "Well, take up with a nice little girl like Mollle Osborn, for instance." It was Just as I had suspected, for Clare and Mollle are chums and de voted in advancing each other's in terests. But the idea that any man, once knowing Mrs. Dace as I knew her, could be content with a girl like with many Jeweled rings, its neck was fat with beads and its corsage was superfatted witl chains, lorg nettes, vanity (!) boxes and falls of lace. It was In fact so fat and so ac curately placed In the exact center of the seat that between It and the two Individuals at t* e ends there was not room for the thinnest of passen gers to right or left. The car stopped to take on a small Mollle struck me ns so deliciously nonsensical thnt I could not refrain from laughing. "It Is absurd, Clare. Certainly Mol lle is strictly all right, but she would look like a mouse beside Mrs. Dace." She nodded spiritedly. "Now you are talking sense. Dike a nice little white mouse beside a leopardess, exactly." I did not like the comparison. "Do you mean to say that Mrs. Dace Is a leopardess?” I demanded with some warmth. Clare was as cool as a cucumber. "Oh, I don’t know. Anyway, she Is as beautiful as one. And viewing her as I have only from a distance, I have somehow gained the impression that there are traits In common be tween them. She Is so wonderfully smooth and soft and quiet moving, you know.” She looked up at me side ways, saw the displeasure that rested upon my face and broke Into a laugh as she gave my cheek a pat. "Of course you must not mind what I say, Tom, dear. I really know al most nothing about your charmer, and I trust to your level head to take care of you. Only please do be care ful.” So we laughed together and dropped that subject hard then and there. Up to this time tne course of no man’s love ever ran smoother than had mine for Mrs. Dace. Yet It was only a few days after this conversa tion with Clare that there happened a thing so awful to me at the time that hades Itself could have offered no torture more exquisite. I had never been Jealous of Mrs. Dace for the sim ple reason that I had seen no cause to be; yet I knew that the fires of that passion slumbered within me like those of a latent volcano. The mere thought of another making love to her was a torment. She had told me that few men Interested her, and the fre quency of my attendance upon her seemed to preclude the Idea of a rival of consequence lurking In the back ground. That I was being publicly exhibited to attract attention and thus used as a sheep-skin to cloak a real wolf, had never entered my mind until the thought In all its hideous ness was forced upon me purely by accident. I had spent the evening downtownand was going home at about eleven, when a circumstance occurred to me. A few evenings before, when at Mrs. Dace's, she had requested me to open a bottle of wine, which I had done by means of a folding corkscrew I carried upon my key ring. When I had reached my own door later In the evening I had discovered that my keys were missing, and remembered at the time that I had laid tho ring containing them and the corkscrew upon tho table after opening the bot tle. I had forgotten to replace them In my pocket, but knowing they were perfectly safe, I felt no uneasiness; told myself that I would recover them upon my next visit, and ringing the bell was admitted by Mrs. Tebbets. I had not seen Mrs. Dace since, and now on my way home decided to stop off for a moment at the Arcadia, and If she or the maid were home I would claim the keys in order to avoid dis turbing the housekeeper, who retired early. I therefore stepped from the car at the point where it crossed the boulevard upon which she resided and hurried towards her building. I chanced to be upon the opposite side of the street from my destination, and as I was about to cross the way my steps were arrested by the warn ing honk of a motor car. Pausing at the curb I watched Its swift approach, its lights glaring like the eyes of imno speeding monster. By the street lamps I saw that It was a ponderous affair, and a pang of regret stabbed me that I was not able to possess Its like. Almost as huge as a locomotive It looked as It rolled to a point oppo site me. and then suddenly swinging in a close circle stopped In front of "From Out of the Car and Into His Grasp There Stepped the Woman I Loved.” person in n bee-hive hat, Just from rehearsal. She Inventoried the car with the sweeping glance of tho ex perienced New Yorker and picked the seat containing the individuals above enumerated os offering the best chances for room, seeing that it held but three, counting the one In the middle as only one passenger. The newcomer Insinuated her small frame between Mrs. Fatness and the man with the bad cigarette. She wriggled, pried and shoved, but got no further than halfway hack In the the entrance across tho way. Instinct ively I paused In the shadow to watch it. Its door swung open and out onto the pavement there stepped a great mun with a massive bull-dog Bhaped head and neck, and mustaches that flowed from his lips like yellow foun tains. By the gaslight I could see the bear-like power of his arm as he thrust out his hand to some one yet within the car, and a cold premonition of something wretched to come swept over me. To my ears there came a short, peculiar cough, and from this mannerism of which I had heard, as well ns from pictures which I had seeu In the newspapers, I instantly recognized him. The dragon had ar rived in his Juggernaut. Richard Mackay, the infamous, the moral lep er, who. corrupt of soul and body, had long reigned as autocrat of the under world and prince of spoilsmen, loomed across the way. Fearless and able, powerful yet subtle, always a domi nant force for evil, he was one from whom any man might recoil with se cret fear. And an Instant later the wretched thing came to pass. From out of the car and Into his grasp there stepped the woman whom I loved with all my soul, and my heart seemed to stop. With his arm around her waist, bra zenly Indifferent as to who might wit ness he passed across the walk by her side and threw the door wide by a sweep of his free Tiand. For some reason—l learned later It was because of a weakened spring—the door failed to close promptly, and I distinctly saw them in the subdued light of the In terior as they stood close together awaiting the descent of the elevator car. It was but a fleeting glimpse, yet had it lasted longer I believe I should have cried outright In my ag ony. For as plainly as I ever saw anything In my life I saw him draw her close to him as impetuously as I had done In my outburst as he lifted her face and half burled It beneath his sweeping mustache. Then the door mercifully closed, shutting out the sight and leaving me with horror filling my breast and the coldness of death creeping over me. For an In stant I was Incapable of movement, then regaining partial control of my self, lurched away. Benumbed of brain, my knees turned to water, and with Jealousy tearing at my vitals like a vulture, I staggered homeward. Upon the night of horror that fol lowed I do not care to dwell. Like one In a fever I tossed through the hours sleepless save for the fitful dream moments when I wandered far Into the evil haunts of the nightmare. Morning creeping grayly Into my room found me with head splitting and set eyes that stared at tho celling. As one who Is crippled with rheuma tism In every Joint. I arose stiffly, bathed myself and crawled out Into the air. It was Sunday morning, and already the chime of distant bells mel lowed In my ears. It was all plain to me now, her deceit and treachery; and had 1 been sentenced over night to the gibbet I could not have been more wretched. In the mlserahleness of It I stood soul sick before the utter hollowness of all things. There could be but one Explanation of It. The hideous Innuendoes that had haunted my ears like the whisperings of a sea shell had been less than the truth, and I had been used as the false light to mislead the world; as a dummy, the fool. Oh. the treachery and the wickedness and the black shamo of It! And that this woman for whom I would have given my heart’s blood could be guilty of such cruelty to me! Broken-heartedly. I sobbed beneath the oaks like a child. Plainly there was but one thing I could do. I must renounce her un qualifiedly even though it well-nigh killed me, for I could never share her with anybody—as well might a man he asked to cut his heart In seat. Then she swept the cigarette gentleman with a scathing glance. "Kindly move over,” said she to him with considerable acidity. The gentleman had paid no atten tion to her shovings and wrlgglings, since he wns too tightly jammed ngainßt tho rail to have them matter one way or the other. But this was too much. He slowly turned and looked at her, pressing his lips togeth er on one side to hold the cigarette In Bafety. Then he growled; "Kind ly direct your remark to the dime “I Demand That You Tall Me Inatant Iy Why You Bay Theae Thlnga, 81 r I” twain. I must not even see her again for I dared not trust myself In her presence. What I might do If I should meet her alone I did not know. Whether I would violently denounce her for her faithlessness, break down miserably as I was now doing, or com mit some other scene I could only conjecture. But In any case matters would not be mended. The Injury was Irreparable. I must cast her out of my life and pursue my way in wretch edness and silence. I returned to my rooms. Uncle Abner was already puttering away somewhere and I threw myself into a chair In what was nearly a physical collapse. 1 felt shrunken and hollow as though my vitals had been drawn from my body and I had fallen into myself. I was Incapable of think ing logically and the weight that op pressed me was stifling. Before me life stretched away as a vortl, hope less and destitute of light and through which I must drift miserably until It merged Into eternity. I must have sat In a half stupor for a long time, for as the tinkle of the telephone bell sounded In my dead ened ears like a death rattle I got upon my feet and saw that It was nearly ten o’clock. Mechanically I picked up the receiver and asked what wob wanted. Over the wire there came to me a voice which at first set every nerve to tingling and then turned me sick and faint In the reac tion. For It was the voice of Mrs. Dace, softly musical, nnd filled with the cheerfulness of the morning as she Inquired for me. In tones that sounded far away to my own ears I told her It was I who spoke. “I did not recognize your ‘hello,’ ’’ she went on briskly. "Your voice does not sound at all natural this morning. I am afraid you dissipated last night. Anyway, it is such a love ly morning that I have been thinking perhaps you might wish to call and take me to church and afterwards for a little stroll along the boulevard. I have thought of lots of things over night that I wish to tell you. And when wo come back. If you care to give me still more of youi time, we will take luncheon hero In my apart ments. Will you come?” My head swam and I leaned against the wall for support. The day previous an invitation such as this would have brought me from a sick bed to her on crutches, but now 1 shuddered as though a toad had been dropped down my spine. That she whom I had adored, defended against the world, and given my heart, could be so vilely treacherous! And now with the sweetness of an angel she would lure me to her that she might resume her play of cat and mouse! Yes, Clare had been right. In stealth and cruelty she was all leopardess. And she would even have the scene of the next act in the sanctuary of the blessed disciple of love -and truth! Softly, full of music as a bell. I heard her voice calling to me and asking why I did not reply to her, and driven to Immediate action my mind suddenly changed. I would go and see her. I would look upon her once more and then coldly tell her that our relations must at once cease. I would go no further, would give her no satisfaction at all. but making my forgotten keys the excuse for respond ing to her call, would claim them and bid farewell to her forever! In that way I would end the whole miserable business. Commanding my voice by an effort I answered that I would come at once, and hung up the re ceiver without waiting for her to ad dress me further. I went to the mir ror and looked into It. My lips were tense and colorless, my eyes blood shot, and I seemed to have grown pounds thinner and years older over night. Once more I bathed my face in cold water and set out for the Ar cadia. She opened the door at the first sound of the bell, and royally beauti museum thing on your right.”—New York Presß. Surely Queen of All Hens. A certain Industrious hen. Interest ed In the welfare of Petaluma, Cal., has gone so far In her efforts to spread the renown of the city of eggs and broilers that she recently pieced four yolks In one shell. Her zealous ness was discovered by a firm of egg merchants, Whitcomb & Baker. The egg was slightly larger than normal. It looked like a regular egg until a ful In her cool mcrnlng gown, stood smiling before me. At first Bhe seemed about to approach me even closer, but as her eyes sought my face she drew back and her smile vanished as the sunshine behind a driving cloud. “111?” she Inquired, quick solicitude in her tones. I shook my head as I stepped within. She closed the door behind me. “Oh, you men, you dissipate so,” she said with an attempt at bantering. “But I am really surprised at you, Tom. I had thought your morals almost too Immaculate. However, a walk in the outer air will do you good. We will omit the church if you don’t care to go inside. I only used that as a sub terfuge to get you to come, you know. Can you forgive such deceit In me?” I looked at her helplessly, marveling at her duplicity. The shadow of a frown came to her brow. “Why don’t you say something? You only stand there and stare at me so unpleasantly,” she went on with a trace of impatience. Thoroughly sick at heart I addressed her as I changed my mind again Into the determination to confront her with her heartless ness. “Mrs. Dace, I have come to tell you that I cannot see you any more. That you made a fool of me for some purpose of your own. It Is of course not necessary that I should inform you. That you have wounded me greatly and caused me much suffering you may not know; but If It Is any satisfaction for you to have that knowledge I now confess It to you. I do not think that I have anything more to say to you except to ask for the keys I Inadvertently left here and bid you goodby.” Her eyes opened wide and she stood staring blankly into my face. “I don’t understand—what have I done? —you look so strange— ’’she stam mered. I did not answer. Her mouth straightened a bit and a chill came Into her voice. “But I Insist upon knowing. You have sud denly charged me with very unpleas ant things and I have the right to demand an explanation in justice to myself. That right being given me, I may or may not wish to avail myself of my privilege to make a reply. But having had that opportunity you need not fear that I shall ask anything further of you. Still, I feel that there must be some mistake. You must ex plain yourself.” I turned my face from her as I an swered bitterly: “Had any one in the world told me what I now know I should have struck him down. When rumors came to my ears I always shut them out be cause of my faith In you. But what my own eyes see I cannot doubt. I hnd grown to trust you impllcity, and you yourself molded and cemented my faith by your protestations. That I loved you better than my own life I have told you and I think convinced you. You have paid me back with heartless treachery.” “I demand that you tell me Instant ly why you say these things, sir,” she cried, the hot crimson flaring in her cheeks. With the cold deliberation with which a gladiator might dispatch his crippled enemy I returned to the attack. (TO BE CONTINUED.) His Star of Mercy Had Set. Little Arthur was very proud of his membership in the "band of mer cy.” He wore the badge, a small star, as If It were a policeman’s in signia. and could often be heard re proving the other boys for their cruel treatment of dogs and cats. But one day a lady of the neigh borhood was astonished to find him In the very act of tormenting the cat most cruelly. She protested, "Why, Arthur, what are you doing? I thought you belonged to the ‘band of mercy?’ ” *‘l did,” he said, "but I lost my star.” —The Metropolitan. candle gave an X-ray view of four smnll yolks. A hunt Is still being made to locate the hen. In the same ship ment were a number of other eggs containing two yolks, but the egg with the four yolks is said to break all records. Willing to Overlook It. Victim—Say. durn ye, you've pulled the wrong tooth! Dentist—From the way you hollered I thought I had hold of the right one, but we’ll call It my mistake. RESTORED TO HEALTH. After Suffering with Kidney Disorder* for Many Yeare. Mrs. John S. Way. 209 S. Bth St., In dependence, Kans., says: “For a num ber of years I was a victim of disor dered kidneys. My back ached con stantly, the passage of the kidney secre tlons was Irregular and my feet and an- Cv kies badly swollen. JL Spots appeared be fore my eyes and 1 was very nervous. After using numerous remedies without relief, I was com pletely cured by Doan’s Kidney Pills. In view of my advanced age, my cur* seems remarkable.” "When Your Back Is Lame, Remem ber the Name-DOAN’S. 60c. all stores. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y. COMPARISON. He —Ah! Genevieve, when I looks it the Immense expanse of boundless ocean. It actually makes me feel small! LAWYER CURED OF ECZEMA "While attending school at Lebanon, Ohio, in 1882, I became afflicted with bolls, which lasted for about two years, when the affliction assumed the form of an eczema on my face, the lower part of my face being Inflamed most of the time. There would be water-blisters rise up and open, and wherever the water would touch It would burn, and cause another one to rise. After the blister would open, the place would scab over, and would burn and Itch so as to be almost un bearable at times'. In this way the sores would spread from one place to another, back and forth over the whole of my upper lip and chin, and at times the whole lower part of my face would be a solid sore. This con dition continued for four or five years, without getting any better, and in fact got worse all the time, so much so that my wife became alarmed lest it prove fatal. "During all this time of bolls and eczema, I doctored with the best phy sicians of this part of the country, but to no avail. Finally I decided to fry Cutlcura Remedies, which I did, tak ing the Cutlcura Resolvent, applying the Cutlcura Ointment to the sores, and using the Cutlcura Soap for wash ing. In a very short time I began to notice Improvement, and continued to use the Cutlcura Remedies until I was well again, and have not bad a re currence of the trouble since, which Is ov<,r twenty years. I have recom mended Cutlcura Remedies to others ever since, and have great faith in them as remedies for skin diseases.” (Signed) A. C. Brandon, Attorney-at- Law, Greenville, 0., Jan. 17, 1911. Although Cutlcura Soap and Oint ment are sold everywhere, a sample of each, with 32-page book, will be mailed free on application to "Cutl cura,” Dept. L, Boston. Mean People. Henry Russell, the head of the Bos ton opera, was descrtning his foreign tour in search of talent. "They were mean people,” ho said of the singers of a certain city. "I could do no business with them. They thought only of money." Mr. Russell smiled. "They were as bad as the man who discovered the Blank theater lire. "The first Intimation the box office had of this fire came, at the end of the third act, from a fat man who bounded down the gallery stairs, stuck his face In at the ticket window and shouted breathlessly: "'Theater’s afire! Gimme me mon ey back!’ ” Ladies’ Diplomat. Miss Lillian Russell, more beautiful than ever, was serving tea at the Pro fessional Woman's league bazar at the Waldorf-Astoria. A member of the Spanish legation passed with two charming girls, and Miss Russell Bald: "No wonder that young man Is so popular with the ladles. He Is a la dies’ diplomat.” “How a ladies' diplomat?” a com poser asked. “Well,” explained Miss Russell, "he Is the sort of chap who always remem bers a woman’s birthday and forgets her age.” Hadn’t Brought It. Teacher (disgustedly)—My boy, my boy, where is your intuition? Boy—l ain’t got any. I’m only here a few days, nnd I didn’t know what I had to git.—Judge. A QUARTER CENTURY r» uvnu ■ kii whii i w.. ■ IJpforo tho Public. Over Klto Million Free Sample* given away each year. The constant and Increas ing sales from samples proves tho gonulno merit of AI.LBN'B FOOT-KABB, tho antiseptic powder to be shaken into tho .shoes forTlred. Aching. Swollen. Tender feet. Kelleves corns nnd bunlonsof all pain. Hutnplo Kitke. Address, AllcnS.Olnihtod.LoUoy.N.Y. At the Bank. "Your husband has stopped pay ment on your alimony check.” “I know it; he no longer loves me.” Only to find our duty certainly, and somewhere, somehow, to do It faith fully, makes us good, strong, happy, and useful men.—Phillips Brooks. Makes the laundress linppy—that’* Red f, roßs Bag Blue. Makes beautiful, clear white clothes. All good grocers. Love may not make the world go round, but It seems to make a lot of people giddy.