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Uncle Sam's Farm
in Panama JGS/Ktr CZ9S&U. NCLE SAM baa found time to look Into the agricultural pos sibilities of the canal zone, and be proposes to turn the five-mile strip of land on each u Bide of the canal into one big vegeta ble garden. He Intends to see that the thousands of vessels from all over the world passing through the canal will be able to replenish their stock of fresh meats and vegetables when they reach the Isthmus without the loss of a minute In traveling time. At present vessels leaving New York for a trip down the coast any great distance must stop at one or two places for fresh meat and vegetables before reaching their final destination. Uncle Sam had his explorers ex amine every foot of ground within the ten-mile limit of the zone, from the Pacific to the Atlantic, Including a portion of Costa Rica on one side, and Panama on the other. The in vestigation has now reached the stage where it can be Barely asserted there are exceedingly bright prospects for the building up of a lucrative agricul tural and stock raising Industry along the Panama canal. In addition to the great quantities of fresh meats and vegetables required for steamers passing through the canal. It must he remembered there will always be a great number of canal employes living along the line of the canal. The majority of these em ployes will undoubtedly be married, with families and children, and all these mouths will require vegetables to fill them. Also a number of minor Industries may be built up along the canal, which will require Its quota of human beings, who will also require feeding. But aside from these minor considerations are the vast number of ships expected to pass through the waterway—some authorities claiming the traffic will be so heavy as to be one continuous line of ships from one end of the canal to the other during the entire 24 hours. About a year ago the Investigation was started by the Bureau of Solis and the Bureau of Plant Industry working together. Hugh H. Bennett and William A. Taylor, two of Uncle Sam’s scientific explorers In the de partment, were the men detailed to make the Investigation. In speaking of the farming on the canal and Its possibilities In the future. Mr. Taylor said: “Though the Isthmus of Panama has been for four centuries the most Important portage of the western hem isphere the lands through which suc cessive routes of travel have passed across It show little agricultural de velopment. Man’s Impress on the country, except In the Immediate vi cinity of the Panama railroad—com pleted In 1851 —and the canal route, which lies close to the railroad through most of Its length, Is chiefly apparent through the destruction of practically all the more valuable tim ber trees that made up the original forest.” Hugh H. Bennett, who assisted In the Investigation, said the most prom ising line of attack upon agricultural problems of the canal zone will be to develop a permanent mixed tropical agriculture with a distinct horticul tural trend, In which hand labor of tropical origin will be the main de pendence for tillage. In this way exist ing and prospective conditions would favor the production of high-priced products requiring regular and fre quent transportation service, such as will doubtless be available promptly after the opening of the canal for use. “One Important feature,” continued Mr. Bennett, ’•will be the early work ing out of a method of mixed cropping in which soil maintaining and Improv ing leguminous Intercrops can be con tinuously used to replace the wild and Intractable native vegetation of the present shack-farm agriculture. "Agricultural operations in the canal zone are now confined mainly to the meager efforts of the native and West Indian population and are re stricted to patch farming. The pro duction of local staple products, prin cipally tropical vegetables and fruits, rice and corn. Is little In excess of actual food requirements of the op erators. The greater number of these facing, although occupying the smooth er slopes of the larger valleys and never distant more than five miles In a direct line from the canal, are Iso lated and Inaccessible, owing to the broken topography and absence of good highways. They are reached only by narrow, winding trails, at no time passable for vehicles and often well-nigh or quite Impassable Tor horses. "There Is plenty of room for ex tension and Improvement of the stock raising industry. Upon a large pro portion of steep-hill land suited only for forestry and perhaps the produc tion of certain fruits, such as pineap ples, mangoes, etc., good grazing can be secured through tho establishment of guinea grass pastures. A number of native grasses, such as those which flourish upon the savanna lands, ar ford good grazing, while Para and Bermuda grass, cowpeas, velvet beans, corn, the sorghum known as ‘Guinea corn,' sugar cane, and peanuts do well upon the lower-slope soils and consti tute excellent forage crops. Another good stock food Is cassava, a crop that gives large yield with a minimum of attention. It might be well to say here that fine cattle, particularly the large, strong oxen as draft animals In portions of Costa Klca, are fed al most exclusively upon chopped stalks of plantlan, banana and sugar cane. ‘in the latter part of the dry sea son the grasses of the canal zone are generally so parched that very little sustenance can be secured from cleared pastures. But stored forage and crops like cassava, sugar cane, sorghum, banana stalks, etc., could be depended upon to carry stock through the dry months to the rainy Beason — the season of green grass and other tender vegetation. With such possi bilities for the local production of forage crops there is no necessity for the present relatively large Importa tions at high prices of grain, hay and other feeds by the few who are oper ating stock and dairy farms. At the time of this survey the price of shelled native corn was |2 gold per 80-pound sack, while bran was bringing |2.60 per 100 pounds. It 1b not at all sur prising under Buch conditions that the demand for milk Is so much greater than the supply and that the prices are exceptionally high. Milk from dairy farms of the savannah section Is sold In the city of Panama at 25 cents per bottle containing one-fifth of a gallon, less than a quart. ‘‘Very few hogs and goats are raised In the canal zone. A considerable number of hogs and goats are Import ed from points along the Pacific coast, and hogs principally from the Province of Chlrlque, In the high northern por tions of the Republic of Panama. Some poultry Is raised by native and . canal employes. In view of the ruling high prices there Is unquestionably a good opening for raising both pork and poultry. Away from the noisy activities of canal construction the depredations of wild animals such as the tiger cat and Jaguar would likely entail some loss to these Industries. “Small farming. Including the pro duction of vegetables and choice trop ical fruits, such as the avocado, man go, papaya, pineapple, orange, guava, anona, etc., can be carried on profit ably with the application of intensive methods, coupled with proper care in the selection of crop varieties and soil. “Such a variety of ornamental plants thrive on this soil that there seems little doubt that many of these could be extensively and profitably grown for shipment to the United States and other northern countries.” SHOWING FORCE OF EXAMPLE Female George Washington Is Abroad In the Land, and Cherry Trees Buffer. Probably no other American legend ever appealed to the national Imag ination more powerfully than the cher ry tree story. Certainly none has so completely captivated the fancy of Mrs. John Gowen of Hickory Ridge, Pa. Several weeks ago a resident of Hickory Ridge discovered that sev eral fine cherry trees on his property had been ruthlessly chopped down. There was no conceivable reason why the trees should have been destroyed, and the Identity of the offender re mained a mystery until Mrs. Gowen voluntarily acknowledged that she had done the chopping. In the prosecution that followed It developed that Mrs. Gowen had no substantial reason for felling the trees. It appeared, however, that she had a consuming hatred of falsehood and had chopped down the cherry trees merely In order to gain an op portunity to prove that she could not tell a lie. For Violent Transit. A recent book by Mr. Edwin J. Dingle, entitled “Across China op Foot,” contains a bit of practical ad vice about the manner In which American goods should be packed for transportation In the interior of China. Conditions are such that the pack ing should be thoroughly done. The Germans and the Japanese under stand this; British and American manufacturers are either careless In this respect or Ignorant of what Is de manded by the conditions of trans portation over roads that are mainly eight-inch tracks along the face of precipices. One of Mr. Dingle’s friends, need ing a typewriter —and knowing the country—wroto home explicit direc tions as to the packing. “Pack It rendy to ship,” he wrote, “then take It to the top of your of fice stairs, throw It downstairs, take the machine out and Inspect, and if It is undamaged, send It to me. “If damaged, pack another machine and subject it to the same treatment until you are convinced that you have one that can stand being thus handled and escape Injury.”—Youth’s Com panion. Happenings in the Cities Thought He Had Captured a Groundhog TRENTON, N. J.—James Williams, a farm hand of White Horse, who Is a firm believer In the ground hog w’eather theory, was put under the care of a physician as the consequence of his endeavor to capture the ani mal and keep him out of his hole, so that the six more weeks of winter would be eliminated. Williams’ expe rience was such that he says he will never bother the ground hog again. For several weeks Williams had boasted to friends that he had found the ground hog's hole and announced that when the proper time arrived he Intended to Insure the community good weather by forcing the animal to re main In the open, even If he did see his shadow. Several volunteered to aid him In the capture, but Williams desired all the honor, and said he could perform the feat single handed. Before dawn he went to the supposed hole of the ground hog, about one and a half miles from White Horse. He armed himself with a lantern and a strong rope. While he did not believe that bis In tended prey would make an appear- “Bumming” at 20 Below Not a Picnic ST. IAJUIS.—John Vail, a postoffice robber who escaped Jail at Macon one night early In January In an effort to escape a 3-year term In the peni tentiary, was arrested at St. Charles. Vail, who Is some 69 years old and fairly well educated, chose a bitter cold night to leave the jail and came near freezing to death while riding on the fender of a fast Kansas Clty- Chicago train. He told about his trip the other day. “The night I escaped the tempera ture was about 20 degrees below zero," he said. "I went to the depot and when the passenger train from Kansas City to Chicago came In I climbed up on the tender. I didn't know how far It would run till It stopped, but sup posed maybe ten or twelve miles. "When we began to shoot down the grade east of town I realized I was up against it The wind tore at me from four directions, It seemed, and my overcoat was thin and my gloves had holes in them. I didn't know whether I was going to be shaken off the tank and scattered along the right of way or frozen Into a chunk of Ice. “Every time we hit a curve or jost led over a switch I would cling like death to my Iron bed, and I knew If my fingers got stiff on me I was gone. Town after town swept by and I knew I could never stand It to the Missis sippi river. I had to keep my head down so the cold wind wouldn't cut Put “Laziest Boy in Chicago” on Diet CHICAGO. —Three full hours before he had finished his dally thirteen hour snooze —or rather, dally-ntghtly snooze —Hermann Davis, 17 years old, “the laziest boy In Chicago,” was rude ly awakened from his snoring slumber shortly after 2 o’clock the other morn ing by a policeman at the home of the boy’s grandmother. Hermann had not been disturbed before he had finished his sleep as far back as he could re member. He looked at the bluecoat, decided he could not be annoyed, and. rolling over, started once more to snore. Another rough shake by the police man brought the boy out of bed onto the floor, where he yawnlngly protest ed against such treatment and went back to sleep. Exasperated, the offi cer finally managed to keep the boy awake long enough to get him dressed and then took him to the Chicago ave nue station, where his mother, Mrs. Ida McGraw, was pacing the office In a rage. “There he is now!" she shouted an grily. “Look at him. He's the laziest Mississippi Dog a Good Lion Hunter NEW YORK.—To hear Paul J. Rainey tell about it, running down a full grown lion with a pack of plain Mis sissippi dogs Isn't half as dangerous as chasing a scared little red fox with a pack of fullblooded foxhounds—par ticularly If said fox takes it into his head to run over the property of an Irate Ixrng island farmer, armed with a shotgun full of rock salt. “When you run a Hon down with dogs you carry a gun along, and all you've got to do is to use it after the dogs drive the lion into range,” he says. “But when your are chasing Reynard the only one who has a gun is tho irate farmer. So, me for the lions!" The young American sportsman who stands sponsor for these sentiments has Just returned from a year’s hunt ing expedition in Africa. When he left here early in 1911 with his friend and companion on his famous Arctic trip, Dr. M. E. Johnson of Ky., taking only a few guns and a pack of ordinary Mississippi hounds to go lion hunting his friends laughed at him. Now that Mr. Rainey has the pelts of seventy-four full grown lions to wave in their faces they are eating so ance until the day wus fairly well de veloped he was determined to take no chances on being given the •slip.’’ Williams stationed himself at the mouth of the hole, lit his lantern and waited. It seemed a long time to dawn and the farm hand felt drowsy. He aroused himself and walked about the hole several times to keep awake, but was finally overcome, and before ho knew It was sound asleep la the snow. Williams arose with a start. The sun was brightly shining, nnd the snow swiftly melting about him. lie gave one hurried glance into the hole and then quickly arose. Not ten feet from him he saw an animal walking leisurely in the direction or White Horse. He believed his ground hog was escaping, and Immediately start ed In pursuit. He took tho animal un awares, and the capture was easy. Holding his prey under one arm he started for the village. When he was espied coming down the road with hla captive there was a mighty cheer from a crowd which had gathered, it was the proudest moment of Williams life. As he walked Into the crowd he held the ground hog up so all could see it and was amazed to see the crowd suddenly disperse and flee in panic. “Drop that skunk,” the town consta. ble shouted, as he dived Into a cellar The villagers scattered In all direc tions. my face off. I'd read about men tramping thorugh Arctic snows, and how they suffered, but where I was roosting that night would have made Cook or Perry turn back. My eye brows and mustache were frosted so you might have knocked 'em off with a stick. “At last I saw far down the track a red light and when the engine whist led the light wasn’t changed. That meant stop! To me it was like see ing a sail after drifting all night on a raft In the ocean. I Just could get my bones limber enough to climb down. The fireman saw me and said: " ‘Why didn't you stay on, old man; we’ll soon be In Quincy?’ “I told him I’d walk the rest of the way If It was the same to him. The Btation was Monroe City. My ride had only been forty miles, but I’ve traveled a thousand that were easier on the rods and bumpers. I walked Into the depot and sat on the stove the rest of the night. Next day I struck across the country on foot. It was a pleasanter way to travel." boy in the world. I want him locked up and made to work." Hermann looked wearied of It all nnd answered the accusations of his parent with stretches, yawns and sleepy blinkings. “Look at this. This is what he does all day and night," and the woman thrust a piece of paper into the hands of the desk sergeant. It read: “Rises at noon. Eats a hearty com bination breakfast-lunch. Spends the afternoon at nickel theaters. Returns home to supper at six. Takes a nap until 7:30. Visits more nickel the aters. Retires to bed promptly at 10:30.” “The only time I really ever saw him move quickly was when he ran off to stay with his grandmother, a week ago because I scolded him for being so lazy," said Mrs. McGraw. “I made up my mind he shouldn’t pester the life out of her as he had out of me, and so I decided to have him arrested. He hasn’t worked more than a month in three years.” “We’ll have to turn him over to Ju venile court officers,” said the ser geant. "They’ll put him on the ‘no work, no eat’ diet. He should be ex amined for the hook worm or the ’sleeping sickness.’ I’ll take charge of him.” He looked around for Hermann. The boy was fast asleep In a chair In the corner. The mother fled. much humble pie that an epidemic of mental Indigestion is threatened. “The only difficulty was to train the dogs to take up the lion's scent,” he said to a little group of apologetic ones who called at his offices at 627 Fifth avenue to apologize for their ill timed mirth of a year ago. "I really don’t blame you for having laughed at. me last year. But I knew’ that the pups would back me up. I had been bear hunting with them In this country, and I felt pretty confi dent that dogs that would go to the mat with a savage bear wouldn't tuck their tails and run from a lion. “They didn’t take kindly to tho scent at first. I didn't blame them much, for a Hon doesn't feed on clover or vanilla beans. But they got used to It after a while—and at the end of six weeks all you had to do was to show them the spoor of a lion and they would locate for you In half an hour.” The Kitchen Cabinet ■ « OOD eaten without enjoyment lies like lead In the stomach iikk iroti in me iiumucii and dues nioro harm than good. —Henry L. Finch. The most Important problem now be fore tho American public Is to loom to enjoy the pleasure* of tho table. —Henry L. Finch. ECONOMICAL MEAT DIBHEB. Moat may lx* made to go much fur ther In the menu and the dish will be as valuable In nutrition. Servian Rice With Meat.—Wipe off with a dampened cloth a piece of meat weighing about a pound and a half (a pleco from tho shoulder), cut In Inch squares. Heat a frying pan and put In a little sweet lard and an onion cut In thin slices and a third of a carrot. Put over the fire with the meat, a tableapoonful of salt, a tea spoon of paprika and cook over a slow fire. When half done add a pint of water and a half pound of rice, add ing more water ab the rice cooks. Season further before serving. Mutton Bt«w.—Take a piece from the neck, cut In small pieces and put to cook with a sprig of parsley, a bay leaf, two cloves and two peppercorns with water to nearly cover the meat. Let simmer about two hours, then add a carrot cut in fancy slices, and six potatoes cut In thick slices, a cup of strained tomato and simmer until tho meat and vegetables are tender. Re move the parsley and bay leaf and serve. The pink skin on mutton Is the part that gives the undeslrablo woolly taste; If that Is removed the stew will be more delicate. Liver s la Mme. Begue.—Take a pound of calf's liver cut In Inch slices. Lay the liver In salted water while you peel five large onions, the larger tho better; slice In thin slices and cut In halves. Dry the liver and place In layers with the onion; let stand for an hour then cut the liver In cubes, dredge with flour and season with salt and pepper. Dredge the onions In tho same way. then fry all In a frying basket until well cooked, the onions a golden brown. Pile the liver Into a platter and gar nish with a circle of onions. I CAN’T abide to see men throw > their tools 1' that way the mln- ute tho clock begin* to strike, a* If they took no pleasure 1" their work, and won afraid of doing a stroke too much. I hato to boo a man’* arm drop down R« If ho wan shot beforo tho clock fairly ■truck. Just as If he’d never a bit o' pride and delight In Ms work. Tho very grindstone *ll go on turning a bit after you loose 1L George Eliot. SOME CHOICE NORWEGIAN DIBHEB. As every nationality has some char acteristic dishes which make them fa mous, they are Intensely Interesting to those who make a study of cook ery, and any of us may be glad to add them to our collection. Fstlman’s Bakels (Poor Man's Cakes). —Take one egg. beat very light, add a tablespoonful of sugar and a tableapoonful of thick sour cream and flour to roll very thin. Cut in long stripe and fry In deep fat. Sprinkle with powdered sugar. Another Bakel.—Heat four eggs very light, add a cup of sugar, a cup of cream and vanilla to flavor. Add flour to roll and cut In diamond shapes. Fry in deep fat. Sprinkle with powdered sugar. Peplta Krause. —Take two eggs and the yolk of one, reserving the third white; add a cup and a half of sugar to tho beaten egg. two tablespoonfuls of sour cream and a half cup of but ter. Mix with flour to roll. Cut In strips and roll, then fold in the form of a wreath, lapping the ends. Brush with the white of egg and sprinkle generously with fine granulated sugar and cinnamon well mixed. A delicious sandwich filling Is made of chopped hard-oooked egg and equal parts of grated cheese. Spread on whole wheat bread. SfoS "IT i ET Into the habit of looking at the silver lining of the rt when vou have found It. clouu, und, when you have found it, look at It rather than at tho leadon gray In tho middle. It will help you over many hard places. MORE CHEAP MEAT DISHES. nuy spare ribs and place a good stuffing on one and cover with the oth er, surround with potatoes and onions, basting all frequently while roasting. Servo with vegetables as a garnish. Spare ribs with apple and bread crumbs Is another change from the or dinary. Place the ribs In a pan, cover with a layer of sliced apple and then a sprinkling of crumbs, and bake as usual. Chill Con Carni.—Boll a pound of lean beef until tender, then removo from tho broth In which It was boiled and chop In small pieces. Put back into the broth with half a pound of Impressed the Child. A well-known American traveler, de scribing the lmprosslvo costume and manners of a Flemish beadle, tolls of a dear little American girl who, watch ing one such personage walk majestic ally down the aislo of a great cathe dral, asked, wide-eyed and wondering. “Mamma, mamma. Is that God?" United States Behind World. Of all the nations the United States alone allows the use of white phos phorus In making matches. kidney beans which huve been cooked until tender; add to these a quart of cunned tomatoes, a bit of garlic and a red pepper. Cook for twenty minutes and season with salt, and serve. The pretty green French beans are an ad dition to this dish If they are obtain able. Flank Steak.—Take one and a quar ter pounds of flank steak, slash with a sharp knife on both sides and sprinkle with salt, pepper and flour, and a half teaspoonful of curry pow der. Pound these seasonings well Into the meat and then put Into a hot frying pan with a tablespoonful of butter and lard. Add two cups of water, cover and simmer slowly for an hour, adding more water. If needed. The meat will be tender and juicy and the gravy rich and brown. A delicious sauce to serve with steak Is: Creole Sauce.—Slice fine two medi um-sized onions, two green peppers, two ounces of lean ham and a clove of garlic. Fry five minutes, then add half a can of tomatoes, two bay leaves, four cloves and eight allspice. come to a boll and thicken slight ly with cornstarch, cook until smooth, add a dash of red pepper or a fresh one finely chopped. Mushrooms may be added If wanted for an extra occa sion. E , ACH day the eurth is born anew For him who take* it rightly. It Is as much a duty wo owo to tho world to be ornamentnl as to bo useful. SOME CHOICE RECIPES. The following recipes have been gathered from the cherished books of many cooks; Doughnuts Without Eggs.—Take two cupfuls of sour milk, a cup of thick sour cream or six tablespoonfula of hot fat, a teaspoonful of soda and a cup of sugar and four teaspoonfuls of baking powder sifted with flour enough to roll very soft. Flavor with nutmeg and let stand to get very cold, then they can be handled quite soft. Sponge Drops.—Beat the whites of three eggs until thick and lemon colored; add gradually, beating con stantly, a third of a cup of powdered sugar; add the yolks of two eggs. i* fourth of a teaspoonful of salt, a third of a cup of flour, vanilla to flavor. Drop on buttered tins to bake. Sprinkle with powered sugar. Queen's Fritters.—Put three table spoonfuls of butter Into a half cup of water over a fire; when boiling add a half cup of flour. Cool and add two eggs, beating thoroughly. The eggs are to be added one at a time. Fry the mixture by spoonfuls In smoking hot fat. Queen’s Pudding.—Take the yolks of four eggs, two-thirds of a cup of sugar, two tablespoonfuls of butter, two cups of cracker crumbs rolled fine, five cups of sweet milk. Mix well and bake in a moderate oven three-quarters of on hour. Sauce.—Warm a fourth of a pound of butter, add a cup of powdered sugar, tho rind and juice of a lemon. Add a half cup of whipped cream. Coffee Jelly.—To two cups of strong coffee add half a box of gelatine which has been softened In a cup of cold water. Sweeten to taste and stir well while cooling. Serve in sherbet cups with sweetened whipped cream. His Quotation. A high school boy who had failed In an English examination took the teach er to task because she had asked no questions on “The Merchant of Ven ice,” one of the books studied. At the second examination, the first question was “Qlve a quotation from The Mer chant of Venice.” When the boy hand ed In his paper, imagine the teacher’s foelings as she read, “O hell! what have we here?"—Llpplncott’s Maga zine. Their Historic Blunder. Kosciusko had fallen and Freedom was shrieking. “Confound her noise! We should have bound and gagged her!" ex claimed her enemies, mortified at their glaring oversight. From which we seem to learn that the whiskered pandours and fierce hussars of those days, while expert marauders, lacked the resourceful ness of the modern burglar. Water is Scarce and Costly. Water used In Aden, Arabia, Is pumped from wells ten miles away. Distilled water Is delivered at 73 cents and ordinary well water at 40 cents for 100 gallons. The Forgetful Man. Knlcker —What did ho remember on the witness stand? Bockor —Absolutely nothing; not even a winter Just like this, only colder. No Doubt of It. “A man's home ought to be very dear to him.” “It Is. at the present rate of coal and butter.” Wanted to See Themselves. A moving picture camera man, In an automobile, took some pictures of the crowds on the west side of Broad way between Forty-fifth and Forty eighth streets. At least fifty persons yelled at him and aßked where the pictures were to be shown. They wanted to see themselves. Discretion. Discretion is a thing that most men are able to use as long as they are fr«* from temptation. Turn About. "Turn about Is fair play,” quoted tho Wise Guy. "Yes,” answered tin* Simple Mug. "the man who throws a banana skin on the sidewalk shouldn’t he surprised if the hanuna skin throws him In tho same place.” Sure Proof. "Pardon me. professor, hut last night your daughter accepted my pro posal of marriage. I have called this morning to ask you if there is any in sanitay In your family?” “There must he.” Facts and Figures. Constantinople has ten art galleries. Twenty years is the voting ago In Switzerland. Fifty thousand tons of coal are burned dally in London. England’s first paper mill was erect ed at Dartford In 1588. Awful Warning. Young Man —May I have your daugh ter, sir? Old Gentleman —Yes, if you can sup port her. Remember that my auto goes with her. At the Summer Hotel. Rural Constable (to suspicious stranger)—l got yer. You’re a house breaker, I betcher! The Intruder —Housebreaker noth ing! I’m Just going to sit awhile In the only comfortable chair on the place. I was here all last summer without getting a chance at It! Couldn’t Wait. A young man attracted by the ad vertisement of foreign books at the public library hunted up Chalmers Hadley the other day. “You got books of other countries?” he asked. "Certainly,” replied Mr. Hadley, “what language do you want?” "You got Greek book?” asked tha young fellow. “We have got some ancient Greek,” said the librarian, “but I don’t believe we have got a line of modern Greek.” An investigation followed and Mr. Hadley found he was right In his sur mise; he could offer no books in mod ern Greek. "I’ll tell you what. ”he said, “you make out an application for tho book you wnnt and we'll get It for you." "Never mind,” said the son of Ath ens, "I read English by dat time.” Fast Time. An Irishman while standing on tho deck of a steamship which was bound for America was interested In watch ing the descent of a diver. Upon the arrival of Pat In New York he was as tonished to behold a diver Just appear ing above the surface of the water. Going to the rail of the vessel he shout ed to him, "Faith, sor, and ye got over as quickly as raeself.” Accounting for the Cuts. A famous archaeologist came into his club recently, his erudite counte nance ornamented at several points with sticking plaster, and there was u general inquiry among his friends as to what was the matter. "Razor," said the professor briefly. “Good gracious Where did you get shaved?" asked one of our young mem bers, sympathetically. "It’s a strange thing,” said the man of learning. “I was shaved this morn ing by a man who really is, I suppose, a little above the ordinary barber. I known of my own knowledge that ha took a double first class at Oxford, that he studied in Heidelberg after ward. and spent several years in oth er foreign educational centers. I know also ot my own knowledge that he has contributed scientific articles to our best magazines, and has numbered among his intimate friends men of tho highest social and scientific standing in Europe and America. And yet,” soliloquized the savant, "ho can’t shave a man decently.” "By Jove!” exclaimed the young member, In astonishment. "What is he a barber for with all these accomplish ments?” "Oh, he Isn’t a barber," snid tho bookworm yawning. "You see, I shaved myself this morning.” Perhaps no one refers to a calen dar more frequently than the traveler. The first railroad to recognize this need of its patrons is the Denver & Rio Grande, which has just incorpo rated in its regular monthly folder a "Ready Reference Calendar” for the year, and to facilitate the finding of dates when approaching special rates will bo in effect these dates are print ed in red from month to month. This is an innovation which will certainly bo appreciated by the traveling pub lic. HOWARD E. BURTON, ASSAYER & CHEMIST LKADVILLK. COLOKAIM). Specimen prices: Gold, silver, lead. II; *old. silver. 70c; gold. 00c; zinc or copper. 11. Mulling envelopes and full price list sent on application. Control nnd umpire work so licited. Iteference: Carbonate National Itank SEEDS 40 packages $l.OO. Write for catalogue. THE WESTERN SEED CO.. 15 1 Blake. Denar,Col. BEE SUPPLIES of Ixiat quality at right price*. Send for free ll luntriitcd Catalog, with Instruction* to I'••it inner*. * <’f absolute* purity. ju*t u* It cotuei HI INKY tr,,m y ,ird " ~f " ur niember.. UVIUi A sample* by mall, 10c. The Colorado Honey Producers’ Asm, 1442 Market Stre-e-t. I>*-nve-r. Colom.lo A HAIR SWITCHES. 79 c Jgjl Twenty-four Inches lona jli jit Regularly priced al $2.50 at the hnir drett ing establishments. Send sample of your hair and we will match it. One ollhe bar gains we *re noted for Postpaid and de livery guaranteed for 79c. THE JOSLIN DRY GOODS CO. Denver, Colo. Est. 40 years. Dept. 15. <125.00 *25.00 *25.00 *25.00 *25.00 *25.00 COLONIST FA It MS from ALL MAIN LINK POINTS atnl ALL POINTS ON MARSHALL PASS LINK, SALIDA to GRAND JUNCTION, on the DICIN' \ lull .t HID GRANDE RAILROAD In COLORADO. (e> CALIFORNIA AND TUG PACIFIC NORTH WKST, Via The* Denver A 1110 Crnnele Itnllrnnd mill the Western Pne-lflo Hallway. The Royal Gorge-Feather River Carton Route. Tickets on *nle March 1 to Apr. 15. 1012. By depositing tickets with Agent, stop-overs of five days will be allowed at and west of Carton City on tho Den ver Ar Rio Grande Rnllronn In Coloraelo and Utah, ami at Klko. Hazen. Reno, I.UB Vegas. Lovelock. Shafter, Wlnne inuecn. Nevada., and all points In Cali fornia; at all points on tho Great North ern at ami west of Hillings. Montana; nt nil points on O. S. L. ami <>. W. R. N. Co., and all points on Southern Pa cific between Portland, Ore., and Weed. Calif. Colonist Tickets will he honored nvrr the Rio Grande vln Gleuwood Springs or vln Gunnison and Montrose. For detailed Information. Inquire of nearest Agent. FRANK A. AV AD LEIGH. General Passenger A»rut., Denver, Colo.