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AND KEEP It Coat Nothing—That Wonderful Gift. But, Oh, the Horrors of Ownership That Followed. By ELEANOR PORTER Author of " Pollyanna," " Juat David," Etc. Copyright hr Eleanor H. Portsr. O N TWELVE HUNDRED DOL LARS a year the Wheelers had contrived to live thus far with some comforts and a few luxuries—they had been married two years. Genial, fun loving, and hospitable, they had even entertained occasionally ; but Bralnerd was a modest town, and Its Four Hun dred was not given to lavish display. In the bank Herbert Wheeler spent long hours handling money that was not his only to hurry home and spend other long hours over a tiny lawn and a tinier garden, where every blade of grass and every lettuce-head were marvels of grace and beauty, simply because they were his. It was June now, and the lawn and the garden were very Important ; but It was on a June morning that the large blue envelope ra:ne. went home that night and burst Into the kitchen like a whirlwind. Herbert Jessica, we've got one at last," he cried. "One what?" "An automobile," Jessica sat down helplessly. In each hand she held an egg—she had been selecting two big ones for an omelet. "Herbert, are you crazy? Wbat are you talking about?" she demanded. "About our automobile, to be sure," he retorted. " 'Twas Cousin John's. I heard today—he's left it to us." "To us! But we hardly knew him, and he was only a third or fourth cousin, anyway, wasn't he? Why, we never even thought of going to the funeral !" "I know; but he was a queer old codger, and he took a great fancy to you when he saw you. Don't you re member? Anyhow, the deed Is done." "And It's ours?—a whole automo bile?" "That's what they say—and it's a three-thousand-dollar car." "Oh, Herbert !" When Jessica was pleased she clapped her hands; she clapped them now—or rnther she clapped the eggs—and In the result ing disaster even the automobile was for a moment forgotten. But for only a moment. "And to think how we've wanted an automobiler' she cried, when the Im promptu omelet In her lap had been banished Into oblivion. "The rides we'll have—and we won't be pigs ! Wejl take our friends !" "Indeed we will," agreed Herbert. "And our trips nnd vacations, and even down town—why, we won't need any carfare. We'll save money, Her- bert, lots of money !" -well, an auto costs something to run, you know," ventured Herbert. "Gasoline, 'course!—but wliat's a little gasoline? I fancy we can afford that when we get the whole car for nothing!" "Well, I should say!" chuckled the man. "Where Is It now?" "In the garage on the estate," re turned Herbert, consulting his letter. "I'm requested to take It away." "Requested ! Only fancy ! As If we weren't dying to take It away!" "Yes, but—how?" The man's face had grown suddenly perplexed. "Why, go and get it, of course." "But one can't walk In and pocket a motor-car as one would a package of greenbacks." "Of course not! But you can get It and run It home. It's only fifty miles, anyhow." "I don't know how to run an auto mobile. Besides, there's licenses and things that have to be 'tended to first, I think." * "Well, somebody can run It, can't they?" "Well, yes, I suppose so. But— where are we going to keep Jt?" "Herbert Wheeler, one would think you were displeased that we've been ' given this automobile. As If it mat tered where we kept It, so long ns we had tt to keep!" "Yes, but—really, Jessica, we can't keep It here—in the kitchen," he cried. "It's smashed two eggs already. Just the mention of it," he finished whim sically. "But there are places—garages and tilings, Herbert ; you know there are." "Yes, but they—cost something." "I know it; but if the car is ours for nothing, seems as If we might be able to afford its board and keepl" "Well, by George ! It does, Jessica ; that a fact," cried the man, starting to his feet. "There's Dearborn's down to the Square. I'll go and see them about It. They'll know. too. how to get it here. I'll go down right after supper. And, by the way, how about that omelet? Did our new automobile leave any eggs to make oner' "Well, a few," laughed Jessica. There was no elation In Herbert Wheeler's step when two hours later, the young bank teller came home from Dearborn's. "Well, I guess we—we're up against It, Jessica," he groaned. "What's the matter? Won't they take It? Never mind; there are oth "Ei "Oh. yes, they'll take it and take care of It for fifteen or twenty dollars a month, according to the amount of work I have them do on It." "Why, I never head of such a thing I Does it cost that—all that? But then, the car doesn't cost anything," she added soothingly, after a pause. "Oh, no, the car doesn't cost any thing—only eight or ten dollars to bring It down by train, or else two dollars an hour for a chauffeur to run It down for us," retorted her hus band. "Eight or ten dollars! Two dollars an hour to run It !" gasped Jessica. "Why, Herbert, what shall we do? There Is only tea dollars now of the household money to last the rest of the month ; and there's this week's grocery hill and a dollar and a half for the laundry to pay l" "That's exactly It—a hat shall we do?" snapped Herbert. This thing was getting on his nerves. "But we mugt do," laughed Jessica hysterically. "The idea of giving up a three-thousand-dollar automobile be cause one owes a grocery bill and a dollar and a half for laundry !" "Well, we can't cat the automo bile, and it won't wash our clothes for us." "Naturally not! Who wants it to?" Jessica's nerves, also, were feeling the strain. "We might—sell It." "Sell It! Sell our automobile!" flamed Jessica ; and to hear her. one would think the proposition was to sell an old fumily heirloom, beloved for years. Her husband sighed. "Isn't there something somewhere about selling the pot to get something to put into it?" he muttered dismally, as he rose to lock up the house for the night. "Well, I fancy that's what weil have to do—sell the automobile to get money enough to move It!" Two days later the automobile came. Perhaps the gvocer waited. Perhaps the laundry bill went unpaid. Per haps an obliging friend advanced a loan. Whatever it was, spic and span in Dearborn's garage stood the three l! i •j H r J / / / â || A II \ I. I f 1 "The Idea of Giving Up a $3,000 Au tomobile Because One Owes a Gro cery Bill and $1.50 for Laundry. thousand-dollar automohile, the ad mired of every eye. June had gone, and July was weeks old, however, before the preliminar ies of license and lessons were over, nnd Mr. and Mrs. Herbert Wheeler could enter into the full knowledge of wliat It meant to be the Joyous pos sessors of an automobile which one. could run one's self. "And now we'll take our friends," cried Jessica. "Who'll go first?" "Let's begin with the A's—the Ar nolds. They're always doing things for us." "Good ! I'll telephone Mrs. Arnold tonight. Tomorrow is Saturdnv, half holiday. We'll take them down to the lake and come home by moonlight. Oh, Herbert, won't It be lovely? "You bet It will," exulted Herbert, as the thought of the Arnold's admir ing eyes when tlielr car should sweep up to their door. At three o'clock Saturday afternoon the Wheelers with their two guests started for the lake. It was a beauti ful day. The road was good and dv ery one was in excellent spirits—that Is. every one hut the host. It had come to him suddenly with overwhelm ing force that he was responsible not only for the happiness but for the lives of his wife and their friends. What If something should go wrong? But nothing did go wrong. He stopped twice. It is true, and exam ined carefully his car; but the only result of his search was a plentiful bedaubing of oil and gasoline on his hands and of roadway dust on his clothing. He was used to this and did not mind It, however—uritil he went to dinner at the Lakeside House beside the fresh daintiness of his wife and their friends; then he did mind It The ride home was delightful, so the Arnold's raid. The Arnolds talked of It, Indeed, to each other, until they fell asleep—but even then they did not talk of It quite so'long as their host worked cleaning up the car after the trip. Wheeler kept the automobile now In a neighbor's barn and took care of It himself ; it was much cheap er than keeping It In Dearborn's ga rage. There were several other friends |p the A's and B's and two In the Cs who were taken out In the Wheeler automo bile before Herbert one day groaned: "Jessica, this alphabet business la killing me. It does seem as If Z never would he reached !" "Why, Herbert !—and they're all our friends, and you know how much they think of It." "I think of It. too, when the dinner checks and the supper checks come In. Jessica, we Just simply can't stand It !" a Jessica frowned and sighed. "I know, dear; but when the car didn't cost anything-" "Well, lobster salads and chicken patties cost something," mentioned the man grimly. "I know It ; hut It seems so—so sel fish to go all by ourselves with those empty seats behind ns. And there are so many I have promised to take. Her bert, what eon we do?" "I don't know ; but I know what we can't do. We can't feed them to the tnne of a dollar or two a plate any longer." There was a long pause; then Jes sica clapped her hands. "Herbert, I have It ! Weil have bas ket picnics. Iil take lunch from the house every time. And, after all, that'll be lots ulcer; don't you think sor "Well, that might do," acquiesced the man slowly. "Anyhow, there wouldn't be any dinner checks a-com ing." August passed and September came. The Wheelers were in "M" now; they had been for days. Indeed. Even home-prepared luncheons were beyond the Wheelers' pocketbook now, and no friend had been Invited to ride for a week past. The spoiling of two tires and a rather Mrious accident to the machine had ne.'essltated the Wheel ers spending eveiy spare cent for re pairs. In the eyes of most of the town the Wheelers were objects of envy. They had an automobile. They could ride while others must plod along behind them on foot, blinded by their dust and sickened by their noisome odor of gasoline. As long as the Wheelers were "de cently hospitable*" about sharing their car. the townspeople added to their envy an Interested tolerance based on a lively speculation as to when one's own turn for a ride would come- but when a whole week went by, and not j one of the mnny anxious would-be guests had been Invited, the interest ! nnd the tolerance Red, leaving only an j ! angry disdain as destructive to happl ness as was the gasoline smell of the | car Itself. ! There were some things, however. 1 that the townspeople did not know, They did not know that, though the j Wheelers had a motor-car, they had ! almost nothing else; no ftew clothes, except dust coats and goggles ; no new books and magaiznes. except such as dealt with "the practical upkeep and 1 operation of a car" ; no leisure, for the car must he kept repaired and shin- | lng; no fresh vegetables to eat. for the garden had died long ago from want of care, and they could bay only | gasoline. But they did have an auto mobile. This much the town and there came a day when this fact loomed large and ominous on the hor izon of the Wheeler's destiny. On the first day of October the bank In which young Wheeler worked closed Its doors. There had been a defalcn tlon. A large sum of money was miss lng, and the long finger of suspicion pointed to Herbert Wheeler. Did he not sport an automohile? Was he not living far beyond his means? Had not the Wheelers for weeks past flaunted their ill-gotten wealth in the very eyes of the whole town? of he And so the town talked and wagged Its head, and back In the tiny house In the midst of Its unkept lawn and garden sat the angry, frightened, and appalled Herbert Wheeler, and Jessica, his wife. In vain did the Wheelers point out that the automobile was a gift. In vain did they hare to doubting eyes the whole pitiful poverty of their dally life. The town refused to see or to understand; In the town's eyes was the vision of the Wheeler automobile flying through the streets with sel fishly empty seats; In the town's nose was the hateful smell of gasoline. I Nothing else signified. To the bank examiners, however, j something else did signify. But it took their sworn statement, together with ! the suicide of Cashier Jewett (the proved defaulter), to convince the town ; and even then the town shook Its head and said: "Well, It might have been that au tomobile, anyhow!" The Wheelers sold their elephant— their motor-car. "Yes. I think we'd better sell It," agreed Jessica tearfully, when her hus band made the proposition. "Of course the car didn't cost us anything, but w< "Cost us anything !" cut In Herbert Wheeler wratlifully. "Cost us any thing! Why! lt'a done nothing but cost from the day It smashed those two eggs In the kitchen to the day 1« almost smashed my reputation at ths bank. Why. Jessica, It's cost us ev erything—food, clothing, fun, friends, and almost life Itself t I think well sell that automobil«." And they Bold It. WOMEN NEED SWAMP-ROOF Thousands of women have kidney and bladder trouble and never suspect it. V*omen's complaints often prove to be nothing else but kidney trouble, or the result of kidney or bladder disease. If the kidneys are not in a healthy condition, they may cause the other gans to become diseased. Pain in the hack, headache, loss of_ bition, nervousness, sre often times symp toms of kidney trouble. 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Buy "Diamond Dyes"—no other kind—then perfect home dyeing is sure because Dia mond Dyes are guaranteed not to spot, j £££, y™ dyf * woo | or s nk. or whether it is linen, cot ton or mixed goods.—advertisement. j A Mistake. | There was a commotion In the thea ! ter and the usher was seen ejecting a The man was sputtering an 1 man. grily when the manager came into the lobby. ! "Why did you eject this man?" asked the manager. "He was hissing the performance,", replied the usher. 1 "Why did you hiss the perform ance?" asked the manager. | "I d-d-didn't h-h-hiss," stammered the man. "I m-m-merely s-s-said t-t to m-iny friend beside me: 'S-S-Sam | my, is-s-s-n't it s-s-s-superb?'"—Pitts burgh Press. knew; Proof. "I am a philosopher," admitted the gentlemen whose frontispiece was as elongated and solemn as that of a rare old fiddle. j skeptically Inquired, l "Because," he answered, "although I 1 am aware that F am not appreciated it ! <1'** ,10t hurt my feelings in the least." 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What you.do at noon often has more influence on sleep than what you want and hope for, at midnight. Coffee's drug element, caffeine, whips up the nerves, and when its use is continued there's usually a pen alty which no amount of mental effort can avoid. The part of wisdom, as so many thousands have found, is to turn away from nerve stimulation and adopt rich, delicious Postum as the mealtime drink. Postum delights the taste, but brings no dis g g m&m Postum for Health—"There's a Reason Mad» by Postum Ctrssl Co., Inc, Belli» Cicek, Mich. r-" 'TV A Carver. The new boarder shyly took his seat at Mrs. Simpkins' table. "May I ask, sir," said the old board er, "wliat your occupation Is T "Oh, I am a sculptor," replied the newcomer. "You carve marble, do you?" pur sued the veteran. "1 do." carving the fowl ?" "Then," Continued the other, "I see yon will be a valuable acquisition in this happy bouse. Do you mind com ing up to this end of tne table and Not Ever. 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London Daily Mirror—Her hair is always exquisitely dressed and her shoes In iierfect shape. No more in the way of dress is required of any woman. I Just So. "Your heart seems to miss a bent now and then.' doer "Engine trouble, eh. A Short Time Ago / Weighed Only 80 Pounds—I Now Weigh 112 Pounds and TANLAC Is what built me up so wonderfully, »aye Mr*. Barbara Weber, 31S Van Ne ss Ace., San Francisco . She Is but one of thousand, simi ilk ft J tarty benefited. Jf yoa are an J er weight, if -r your digestion is impaired, if yoa are weak and unable to enjoy life to the fullest meas ure, you should take Tanlac. At all good druggists. HOMENTA instantly opens your head and makes breathing easy. Fine for CATARRH COLDS COUGHS 154 at stores or 85 4 by mail. Address New York Drug Concern. New York TREATED ONE WEEK FREE DROPSY Short breathing re lieved in a few hour» s welling reduced in f few day»: reculâtes the liver, kidney», noaucl and heart; purifies the blood, strengthen* till entire system. Writ * for from Triai Troatmmnt. C0IH» DROPSY BEK EOT CO, Dipt SO, ATUITU, 64 NE I Stops Lameness from a Bone Spavin, Sing Bone, Splint, Curb, Side Bone, or similar troubles and gets horse going sound. It acts mildly but quickly and good results are lasting. h * ka * r horse can be worked. Wig fl flB Page 17 in pamphlet with each ifC. bottle teils how. tZSO a bottle ■■■■I delivered. Hone Beak S A fra*. V. r. TOOK, be., 310 We St. SpngfaU. Em. WHY SOME MEN LEAVE HOME This Kind of Thing, Served Up Daily, Would Drive Almost Anyone From His Loved Fireside. "George, dear," cried vvifey from the hedroom, "have you shut the dining room window?" "Yes, love." 'T*ut the plate basket behind the bookcase?" "Urn !" "Have yon put the dog out?" "Yes." "Sure you bolted the scullery door?" "Sure." "Turued off the gas ic the cellar?" "YeS, precious." "Wound the clock?" "Yes, darling." "Brought in the mat from the porch?" "I have, my ownest." "Have yon locked up the wine?" "Yes, yes, my sweetheart. I have done even that." "Well, there's no need to get wild about it. Why can't you come to bed at some decent hour? What on earth have you been doing down there alt this time?"—London Tit-Bits. Idle to Borrow Trouble. Sorrow comes soon enough without despondency. It does a man no good to carry around a lightning rod to at tract trouble.—Aughey. Ri your years of strength prepare for your years of weakness.