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The Troy Weekly News P. L.ORCUTT. Sdiion. TROY WEEKLY NEWS. PAGE 5. Of the ninety-eight students who have been dropped from the Stanford university on account of poor scholar ship, ninety-eight of them were cigar ette smokers! Does this mean any thing to the young man who is trying to get an education that he may be equipped for the battle of life? Does it mean anything to you that the great railroad corporations absolutely refuse to employ in any clerical or operative position a young roan who smokes cigarettes? It is the testimony of every educator that the cigarette habit ruins the intellect, and it is the opinion of bu iness men that the young fellow who is addicted to cigarettes is a good chap for his competitor to employ. The deadly cigarette weakens the will, injures the general health, deadens the sensibilities, and wrecks the nervous system. Of the annual number of suicides in this country a great per centage of them are smokers of cigar ettes. This is not a sermon. It is just a passing comment on facts as they are in matter of fact world. The conclusjpn is inevitable. If you want to do the best for yourself that is pos sible, if you want to equip your mind for work, and to have it backed with a strong body, cut out the cigarette.— Ex. A western editor has come to the' conclusion that those desiring "puffs" in his paper must pay for them and has established the following schedule of prices: For telling the public that a man is successful citizen when ■everyybody knows he is as lazy as a government mule, $2.75; referring to a •deceased citizen as one who is mourned by the entire community, when we know he will only be missed by the poker circle, $10; referring to some gallivanting female as an estimable lady whom it is a pleasure to meet;'. when every business man in town would rather see the devil coming, $8.10; sending a tough sinner to Heaven with poetry, $5.00. He spoke his love in (German—she answered not a word. In' French he tried to woo her—-the maiden never heard. He tried his luck in English, in Irish—all in vain; in Greek, Turkish and Latin, and in the tongue of Spain. And then an inspiration came to the anguished youth. The "universal language," he criée}, "I'll try forsooth!" He kissed the demure maiden and pressed her to his breast; she under stood the language and—well you know the rest.—Ex. . When a doctor is sick and calls in another docto. to doctor him, is the doctor doctored the way he wants to be doctored, or does the doctor doctor him as he thinks he ought be doc-1 tored? Will some doctor who has been doctored by another doctor please answer?—Ex. He Came To Idahp A tourist from Missouri hit the wild auc wooly west, with hayseeds in his whiskers; no buttons on bis vest. The patclies on his pantaloons resembled Asia's map, and the roguish glimmer in his eyes bespoke the ready scrap. The kids all guyed "Missouri," with flour sack tilled with clotees; they said he'd take a "tie pass'' back before the winter «nows. But old "Missouri" got a job and settled in the west; his nickels grew to dollars and his dollars grew to lives, while the dandy dudes that laughed at him were idling cut their lives. A home stead on the desert where a wildcat wouldn't stay, he worked and planted in the sand, hut always made it pay. Five years slipped by in measured tread; "Missouri" showed them how--and when lie saunters down the street no body guys him nqw 1 The boys who wore high collars and hooted him so gay, are hauling dung for old "Missouri" at 60 cents a day. And when they heard the startling news, their hearts within them sank—for old "Missouri's" gone to town and opened up a hank. When in Troy try" a sack of Genesee flour. Sold by W. M. Duthie. Saved Her Son's Life. The happiest mother in the little town A va, Mo., is Mrs. 8. Huppe«. She writes: "One year ago my son was down with such serious lung trouble that our physician was unable to help: him; when, by our druggeet's advice 1 began giving him !>r. King's New Dis covery, and I soon noticed improvement. 1 kept this treatment up for a few weeks when he was perfectly well. He has worked steadily since at carpenter work Dr. King's New Discovery saved his life." Guaranteed best cough and cold remedy by C. V, Johnson, Druggist 50c and 1.00. Trial Bottle free. of I r I If you want to sell something, or need sometning, tell about 5 cents per line per week. it in News locals. I All county news published in the Troy News. It costs only 2 cents per week to get it a whole year. I I I - : m < [> vp $ 1 : 1 . ■ ix*? "vv J.V* w* I 3? £V jfi .*? .V 5 i ! > , ' A 1 sa? k % y ;V. M » -■ PIPl i i'\i mm mm m H ■fill Mfl m ' ? HN » ««ip ii. im ». The Troy News is equipped to turn out first-class Sale and Horse Bills, Posters, and other work of this class. I - ■ » jÈjj fm S .rn.s-few.-A, I — The News Butter Wrappers are good. We use guaranteed Vegetable Parchment, and Parchment Ink, the best made. | i 1 | i | | Politically, The News has no boss, wears no collar, is red hot republican, and believes in speaking right out from the shoulder Why not get your name on the list and watch the dust fly? J I I