The Ketchum keystone., December 24, 1881, Image 1

About The Ketchum keystone. (Ketchum, Idaho) 1881-1884

Image provided by: Idaho State Historical Society

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THE
KEYSTONE.
1
VoL. J.
KETCHUM. IDAHO, SATURDAY DECEMBER 24. 1881.
No. 1.
1 .
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On the Porch.
I sNhm! on tin* porch at « veiling.
When Hie ami went silently <lown;
When the .1 une-hng bright, in the starry
night.
Flow merrily through the town.
• Mi. sweet were the gentle zephyrs
Tlmt Idvw from the balmy south,
Vnd reil were the lips, ami sweet the sips.
That I took from the pretty month
Her tiny waist was encircled
By my arm so strong and true;
Said I. Whose ducky an* yon. love?"
" Yours.she nmnuured, ■ w hose are
you."
<), the hollowed hours of that evening
(), the cruel caprice of Fate'
Her hit her, unkind, came up from behind
And fired me over the gate.
A YOUTHFUL. TKAIN-KOilHER.
Spreading Terror Among Male and
Female Passengers.
Cincinnati Saturday Nicht..
It Was night.
Night in Arkansas.
It w'as night in several other States i
well, but Arkansas js the one with which
we have to deal at this writing.
It being our turn to deal.
A lightning express was booming along
■ at the rate of sixty miles an hou . Every
•air was full, many standing in the uisles
with that meekness and patience only
seen on .an American railroad, to accomo
date the fellow who wants four seats all
to himself.
I >
The lumps blazed fitfully over the pas
sengers' dusters,
fully as well
ally. xiiii*—
The
I w hich
which seemed to tit
as traveling dusters usu
conductor had passed through
Aviis more than he would allow
anyone else to do without the requisite
pass), punching people into wakefulness
in order to punch their tickets.
The train boy had filled tlip
gers laps with books to keep them from
bouncing in their seats while going
rough places.
passen -
over
The brakeman had put his head in and
shouted,
"The next stopping place is—"
the name of the place being lost in the
slain of th « 1 door.
The boy who is always ilry lnul mail « 1
his fifty-second pilgrimage to the water
tank.
And the woman who wants air had just
torn off her last remaining finger nail in
trying t«»g«'t Jut window' up.
This was on a railroad in tli«> State of
Vrkansas.
Suddenly tin- ear door opens.
A youthful figure appears, holding
something in his hand upon which the
light glitters,
nifieant manu er and cries:
''Now. gentlemen, vour money—"
Fifty men turn pale and cry, "Don't
shoot.
Twenty females scream with
and soin « 1 faint.
There is a hasty thrusting of watch«
ami po«-ket-books beneath cushions and
into 1 »oots.
Strong men fight fora phue under the
seat* where they
"Gentlemen," again <ri«*s the boyish
voi«»e. ringing high above the semunsof
»men an«! din of the train (grasps f«»r
mercy from the men », "let me sell you
som « 1 of this « xeelleiit tropical fruit,"
and extends in his «lexter
I annum!
It was the train boy pursuing his use
rid and harmless vocation.
He presents it in a sig
tf
one voice
•s
can s«'«*ret themsel v«*s.
vv«
hnnd
-a
A lot of New York ladies
up a fair for the p«'.«»r. and
number now wear engagement rings the
enterprise is spoken of as a brilliant sue
«*ess.
recently got
as quite a
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Mistake* of Millions.
"Is it true.
inquired a reporter of
1'ostinaster Pearson, of New York, the
other day, that there are nearly
: iMHi in the United States a*iV>-treasnry,
representing aecuniulutions irr.m unpaid
money-orders for several years back.
''Yea,'* replied the postumster, "I sup
l>«>se that in round nmn tiers they hold
i about that amount la-longing to earh'ss
persons whom it i« impossible for u* to
lind."
"WJmt do you piopuso to do with this
money. Mr. Pearson?"
''Congress win probably be asked at
its next ssoiii to make some disposé
t ion of it:"
"Wiiv was not this done her
"Well, there is no legal limitation to
I ds of tni ein rt cter
?
re?"
the time w
may be accounted for.
The ]mat master
cannot tel! w hen the parties to a money
order
v correct fatal a mistake in the
order and demand their money.
You
know we must always be prepared t«»
pay on legal demand."
"Can you give me a general idea of the
way in which such large, unclaimed ac
cumulation of money comes about?"
"Primarily it is due to n lack of knowl
edge concerning the opperations of the
law under which the money order sys
tem is organized. Then a great many
people who understand the provisions
of this law ar « 1 habitually earless and
overlook some of the necessary details
in making out the order. For instance,
they may get the name of the payer
wrong, or they may forget to notify him
by mail. Then, again, tlie person to
whom the money is sent may be a travel
ing man, and has left the town where
the order l.s payable ..nd wlfil may never
return there again. No legal provision
has l>een maile for advertising for these
people. The individual amounts which
go to make up these larg«i sums of un
paid money orders of this office are.
generally speaking, small, and no doubt
have long been forgotten by the persons
who were to receive them. All postof
ffe«"s w hich do u reasonably fair share of
money order business have the same
trouble to contend with, but some day
or other Congress may definitely settle
postal responsibility in the matter."
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1
N«» Interest in (Quartz*
linn chers and stock-raisers take but
little personal interest in quartz, al
though they' nev«*r refuse a favor to a
prospector. Last fall, ou Squiiw creek,
a prospector stopped a stock-raiser to
show him a Hour sack full <»f croppings,
and holding a piece of the lx-st in his
hand he was telling in language earnest
and eloquent <»f its richness in silv«-r and
copper. Meeting no response he looked
up and was considerably torn to see that
the stock man w as standing in his stir
rup*. and with shaded eyes was intently
gazing off into th « 1 hills,
peetor cease«! his din about copper stain
ami bromide, und befor«» he could ask an
explanation the other exclaimed': "Well,
dang my buttons! if tlu-r«» ain't the lit
tl«' red three-year-ohl heifer that I've
The
prt>s
been looking for thr« 1 «* months!" and
putting spurs to his horse he was off
like a shot, leaving the prosp«*otor to
drawl <»n' t:ft«*r him: "Yes, »ad dang my
buttons if » la licve the average Sqiuiw
er«'eker would get «*ff hi* h«*rs<* to pick
Democrat.
■ up a twenty-dollar pieend
A moralist, in the heart of debate,
nays:—"Tin 1 great curse of America is
riches." We always thought it was the
absence, of riches, but it appears that we
wer«* wrong. However, these" eurses" may
come home to roost—With us—whenever
they feel like it the more the merrier.
Where the Train Was.
Then' were a <lo*en of us waiting at
the station near Strasburg, Va., for the |
noon train. Every one lnnl cut his din- !
tier short to <*ateh the train, but tin* \
hour arrived five ten twenty min- !
The tiek»*t
Utes passed, and then everybody won
dered w hat had hupjiened.
agent was also the telegraph operator, i
He was a young fellow about twenty,ill
grained and aupentilioua. hut impatience
overcame the tear of him, and a woman
s:*jij#ed to the window-' and asked
4 Is the train late?"
"I'm!" in- growled in reply.
"How late is it?" ,
.. "Um!"
This finished her and she resumed lier !
seat. Five minutes more slipped away, !
ami a very solemn looking man. carry
ing a solemn looking carpet bag, ad
vanced from his corner and began:—
fTrain is lab* isn't it v "
" \'«»s.
ticket window and queried:—
"Whar's tlqit train?"
t How late is it?"
Urn."
- rWhat'athe cause of it?"
No answer.
He hung around a minute longer and
then solemnly marched back to his scat
ami gave someone ds«- a chance to get
bluffed. After tlie fifth one lnul l»een
a short, grizzly-headed
man, who had been whittling a shingle |
on the platform and softly humming
c Won't Go Home Till Morning," en
tere<l the w aiting room, looked up at
the clock and then sauntered to the I
The young man was look ing over some
freight bills and he did not raise his
i. m.r - - i
turned away,
'What's that train?" repeated the |
whittler in a louder voice.
The agent looked up for a second, but
let his eyes fall without answer.
"Whar's that train?" shouted tin* pas
senger ns he brought his fist down
the shelf.
No answer.
After w aiting ten seconds he walked
out doors, turned to the right and suil
denly entered the ticket office through
the freight house. Walking straight up to
the agent he reached over th«> table and
seiz«*«l him, pul hid him across lik«* a
streak of lightning, and as he gave him
a shake and jammed him into
he called out:—
"Whar in thunder and blazes is that
ar' train?"
"It's a-eoming!" gasped the agent.
"When—whar- which?"
"In about t-tweuty minutes!"
"What made 'er lute?"
"The engin«! broke down at Winches
1
on
a corner
t«>r.
Then why in ('rocket's name «lidn't
Young
I ain't
you say so in the furst place,
man. tak<* a squar' look at me!
purty, nor genteel nor saintly, but I'm
plumb up and «town and mean bizness!
When a man asks me how hogs ar' s»*ll
in' I'm go n* to gin him a civil answer
if it cracks tiir«*e ribs, and when I ask
you why that dog-goned oltl buligine
hasn't snorted in you've got to hear
or down comes your trestle works!
yon catch on?"
"A -yes -certainly—train's behind tim«'
-I»«- hero s«»«»n of e-corn*.' -yes <>t |
course."
Then the solemn
me
Do
i
man rose up. *°»'k
his hat in his hand and passed it around
f«»r money, and we felt lik«* raising a mil
lion dollars for the solid man fis a t«»k«*n
of our love and rev<*ri*nee.—Detr«»it Fr«*e
Press.
j
I
I iug from »■ often ing «»f the brain. Pos
! sibly: but no alarming symptoms of soft
cuing of the cheek have yet been noted.
It has been said that (injtcau is suffer
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The Colorado Primer.
_
Denver Tribune,
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! Her « 1 we torPi ,» Democrat icMa.ss Meet
i.
\ iug. How many people eun you s«-o
! Three? Yes. that is right. Why do you
Smile? You «re Smiling because you
think three People should be called a
Mass Mei ting. Alas, dear children, von
Do not know what it is to tie a Demo
crat. and if you are good yon never will.
i
it.
i his is a Hired Girl. She has Home
thing in her Hand. It is a Can. and
there is Coal Oil inside. The Hoed (iiri
! Dove and Desires to Die.
! some of the Oil in the Stove and Light
it with a match. In about half a Minute
is going to Light a Fire in the Kitchen
Stove. She has been Disappointed in
She will Pm
she w ill be Twanging a Golden Hart
among the Elect in Heaven.
in.
What is this Nasty-looking Object? It
is a Chew of Tobacco. Oh. how Naughty
it is to Use the Filthy Weed. It makes
the teeth black and spoils the parlor Car
pet. Go, quick, and Throw the Horrid
Stuff away. Put it in the lee Cream
Freezer or in the Coffee Pot. where No
body «»an see it. Lift!«» girls, you Should
never chew Tobacco.
| What Smells so? Has somebody lieei
Burning a Hag, or is there a Dead Mule
in the Hack-yard? No. the Man isKinok
ing a Five-cent Cigar. The Cigar has a
I breath on him like the Chimes of Nor
mandy ora salivated cheese Factory. I)
js strong enough to raise a Mortgage oi
Liek a postage stamp. The Man will
chew a Piece of Assafœtida by and by to
i T ake tfrro-T ast e . Cigar out f hi
IV.
| Mouth,
v.
It is going
When it gets to tin
Fair it will Swim around in a big Kettle
of Warm Water. A lady will Stir it with
Her«- we have an Ovster.
1 to a Church Fair.
a Spoon and -tiltin' Warm Water !<>i
Two Hits a pint. Then the Oyster will
move on to the next Fair.
In this way
tin* Oyster will visit all the Church Fairs
in town and Bring a great many Dollars
into tin* Treasury. The Oyster goes a
great Way in a Good Cause.
Briefs from our Exchanges.
Wasn't Adam the first man to "sell tin
race?"
A $10.000 education on a $•*> boy D
money thrown away.
Ideal Youth—Can you call the baker a
loafer? You can. and the baker can givi
yum a belt in the jaw .
"Another lie nailed." remarked tin
wag as a merchant tacked up tin* sign.
"At cost."
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We always en joy green buck meetings.
to occur be
when tin* nmeting happe
tween »« greenlmok and ourselves.
A weekly paper enlle«l Camuuni .Sewn
has ;«i»|>eared in Washington. It should
he introduced into f!«»ngr»!ss when that
laxly meets.
A Dublin paper contains the following:
"Ï hereby warn all persons from trusting
my wife, Ellen Flanagan, on my account,
as I am not marri» 1 «! to her.
rt* a iu<'an boy, who. knowing that
i his sister's young man is still in tin* par
[ or w il! slip down stairs near midnight
and guy I y ring the breakfast bell.
"Papa," remarked the enfant trrribk.
w in» was mounted on the back of the old
gentleman's chair, engaged in making
crayon sketches on his bald head, "it
wouldn't do for you to fall asleep in the
desert, would it?" "Why not, darling?"
"Oh, the ostriches might sit down on
your head und hatch it out.