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vlii il I'M.' v ,, il ,1 ,)!i.
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1 1 1 n iinf L'l,t! H.iti '
every tl.'l.t is t.tr the hUc,
r i m i -t-H in. t '-uc,
I'll ! K-n. ,'ui'l vi-i; n;il puat
luivu n tint or two;
turf nut irriff h;if ..h.-im! away
I'tMif j.,v Ihv'iii:
tin' t:. I nii.l i , . i ( . . - il,,y
a my bur k!ii; toiin i in.
THAT Ave girls of the present
day urn a vast Improvement
upon what our mot lu ra were;
(. that avo take a nitirt! practical,
n timi.A st'iisil.ic view of .life; that Ave
liavo ' yisuacd nearly nil those hilly,
nrtllifii conventions tiy which the
Victorian woman sot so much store, no
candid observer will deny.
Yet, oven now, sonic of tho aforesaid
Billy conventions still survive, nn.l one,
the silliest of all; I mean the relation
of woman to man In the preliminaries
which load, through courtship, to wed
lock. 'prly forty years ago Darwin
Etai-ft ,7 the old wives of his day by
f xplvVVu:; upon them, as a bombshell,
Ids novel theory of natural selection.
I, too, In my smaller way have startled
some old wives of my gen'ation by
torpedoing them, so to speak, with
my novel theory of matrimonial selec
tion. Hut I must tell you all about
that theory; why I formed It, and bow
I carried It Into practical effect. -
First, then, as to why I formed It. I
had rjt been "out" many months
whe.j occurred to me to Inquire Into
the rson of the absurd custom by
which the right of selection and pro
posal lies exclusively with the man; to
ask myself why It was thnt he should
be free to pick and choose, whereas
she his equal In many things and his
superior In most should have to con
tent herself with being picked and
chosen. And when I came to look
Into the .point
it, I Ur-ciover
"wh'f but thr
Into the .point to inquire the "why" of
ered that there was no
that it was merely a mean
ingless convention an empty custom,
existing because it existed, and ob
served because people were foolish
enough to observe it. Nay, Jt was
more than meaningless it was rotten,
It was Iniquitous. If marriage means
anything to either party (a point, pcr
r'?. open to discussion, upon which
? not here embark), it means more
jrwoman than to the man. To
.but an incident, to her It is a
him 'tis still the same old
lh variations; to her 'tis a
; 'bow piece that has to be learned
aucTstudied ab initio. Of this fact the
name process is emblematical. Let
him be Mr. Smith, let her be Miss
Jones. They marry. What of him?
He remains Mr. Smith to the end of
the chapter. What of her? Her
"Miss" becomes forthwith converted
Into "Mri her "Jones" transformed
into "Smith." Her former name and
style know her no more. In one word,
1 he is the absorber, she the absorbed.
Now to be absorbed the process of
absorption is far more momentous than
to the absorber. That is axiomatic.
T therefore follows that if either one
Jis a greater liberty than the other in
p field jf selection, that one should
the vvotnan. But in practice by a
st absurd convention things are
ecisely the reverse. Man, the ab
rber, can select and propose to any
umber he likes of the whole fair sex.
Voman, the absorbed, is limited in her
iiolce to jtjst those few men that may
e fit to propose. While he has thou
Inds to pin from, she has only units;
id those frequently the wrong units,
hat Is the worst of it. She may see
ae man who is just suited to her;
zhorn she knows she could make hap
ider than any other woman could; who
vould, in a word, be the ideal mate
vor her. But he is not among those
,-ho have proposed to her. Therefore,
. e is not within practical politics. She
iarriesanie one else as a pis aller,
But t& 'former who doesn't begin
y adoif V in practice his own doc-
rines Uy true reformer. He Is
macka charlatan, a numoug. l am
ot that sort. My motto, like Straf-
ord's, has always been Thorough
i , "As a fivs step," says I to myself,
townm trn srerring into woman s
a'nds the initiative in matrimonial
flection, X-tvill exercise that initiative
iiyself. Others, when they see my
success, will follow my example; and
boon the benighted custom by which
ny sex are treated as mere passive
roposees will Jhave been relegated to
he limbo ofploded fallacies."
I first.taelXmed my resolve to mam
na. I did not expect support from
he amiable but obsolete old dear; and
certainly did not get it. Mamma
ras aghast. Her hair almost stood on
nd; or, rather, it would have stood on
nd had it been hers to do so. I did
lot mind mamma's displeasure, how
W? V- not the fate of all re
formers t ; misunaerstoou, nuuseu
j'erided by their own families? Be
sides, was I to be turned aside from
jiiy high emprise by a mere outburst
'f obsolescence? No, Indeed! 'Tis In
fuch pinpricks that your whole-hearted
'evolutionist finds, not an obstruction
ut a stimulus. So with me. It
purred rue on. I resolved to open taj
1 cit t'i- rr-t V
An I i,t !d t!i" r,!;(,u- r-i.tr,
'I'n wi.hil t i i i r : i tin 'II lirm tf me
J In' li, ( I'll v. ,i 1 1 fur ;
Bit ii.t 1 ri! ti ini'1,1 liovv f..lo
1' :i .- ..im her .( f is ,i .
A"'l i : . 1 1 1 1 y lii'iii'ji to i l.i'r
'I he t I'f.r V li;i il V t' .;'.', V,
I Sr-h a.,. I try u.'i.ry Irud
'I k hide ii. y !' t'li.i ,!'in
I Itmnv J'll be ii ln'm tiint' t!t'.nl
Whin Ili.it tM slro culi'.t'.o in.
.John WaJIi Clf.UT.iaa, in J Mi.
new campaign without a moment's
The first thing to do, of course, was
to pick out my man my ideal mate.
That was simple. In fact, I had al
ready had my eye on him for some
time. His name wns Charles Wilton;
his ago. thirty-live; hix pedigree, un
exceptionable; his person, prepossess
ing; his maimers, agreeable; his pur
suits, athletic, and. his moral charac
ter above reproach. Moreover (but
Hits Is Incidental, and in no wise In
lluonced my considerations!, he had
lately inherited from his father a for
tune of 20(),0)0.
That, then, was done. My ideal iite
was selected. Next to apprise him of
my selection and to Invito reciprocity.
Tliis took a bit of thinking out. I
thought it out. The result of my re
fiocti$.s was that I decided to seek
expert advice; to pick up wrinkles from
one or other of my married friends. I
pitched on Dollk? Dulverton, who had
been lately absorbed by young Cattl-
stock, of the Bays; and to her I went.
After unfolding to her my scheme in
general outline, I said:
All that I wish to do, at the first
going off, Ts to change the personality
of the proposer, not the method of pro
posing. One must not attempt too
much all at once. Therefore, I have
come to you to ask if you can give me
any useful tips, based upon your own
experience as a past proposce."
Ah," said Dollie, smiling, "you wish
me, in fact, to coach you up in the
manners and rules of good proposing?''
"I wish you to tell me," I answered,
"what phraseology Mr. Cattistoek
made use of when he proposed to you.
It may serve me as a useful line."
Pollie thought for a moment or two,
picking up the threads of recollection.
Then she rejoined:
'Very well, my dear, you shall have
a precise account of all the circum
stances. The affair took place at Lady
X.'s dance. Frank began bv remark
ing that the room was devilish he
begged my pardon confoundedly hot.
I acquiesced. Have you made a note
of that, my dear?"
"Go on," I remarked, with some im
patience. "I wish to get to the kernel
of the nut. These little preliminary
breakings of the outer shell are im
material." Nay," answered Pollie, "you can
not get to the kernel without these
little preliminary breakings of the
outer shell. It i.s an integral part of
the process. . However, I will proceed.
Frank's next observation, referred to
the floor, which he declared to be a
ripper. I concurred. Then he said,
give him such a lloor and a partner
whose step suited his, don't you know,
and, by Jove, what more could a fellow
want? I said nothing. I only looked
hard at the toes of my satin shoes. I
knew now what was coming, and that
the less I Interrupted the quicker it
would come. Frank cleared his throat
and tugged at his mustache. Then he
embarked upon a confused and un
grammatical rigmarole, in which
'Partner step suited ball of lif e
heaven on earth,' were the only distinct
and intelligible expressions."
"And that's all," she said.
"Po you mean," I demanded, "that
he never asked you, In so many words,
to marry him?"
"Never! Without another remark
we were in a corner of the consent
tory behind two oleanders and a plas
ter Apollo he took me in his arms. I
offered no objection. So there we were,
That settled it."
"Well," I said, after a brief reflec
tion, "I shall meet Charles Wilton at
Mrs. Z.'s dance to-morrow night; and
I will see what can be done if I get
" 'If, my dear?" cried Pollie. "There
is no 'if in the matter. The proposer
makes his opportunity."
"I suppose he does," I was fain to
admit. "There are a good many things
to learn about this new role, after all
"It is an art and hs its technicalities
like every other," she replied.
Which was so undeniable that
agreed to it without comment.
Next evening, I went to Mrs. Z.'s
dance. There, as anticipated, I met
Charles Wilton. I cast about how
shouU make - my opportunity. But
this proved to be unnecessary. He
asked me if I would sit out the fourth
waltz with him. I did. The ground
being thus cleared, It only remained for
me to put into practice Pollie's man
ners and rules of good proposing.
"Pon't you think the room er very
Now he ought to have acquiesced
But he didn't. He answered, instead:
"Po you thin!; ? (l I find it just
T!i!i il e;nrl in-o fritn the rulei of 1h
line ra I In r pn. :lt d n.e. What wn-i I
to (! )? I ii i.lt m! t i h-iiiTi' It iiu,! unl
et ,1 tin though It bad Imt oeeun.d.
"If yiti iii," lo .".nsui nd, "1
hei.ld s.iy that there U u tili'.e to.)
much beeswax :i !t."
Tlds reply v:u ( till more upM t! lug.
lltr.vevr, I made a bold dask.
'ClviMi such a I'.ojr and a partner
wlmso steti suits one, what ctAild a
was not fdlrnt. He did not stare
at the toes of his pumps. 1I did l.ot
(evidently) know what was coining.
Instead, he answered genially:
"Pon't matter a button-top to me.
Tho only dancing I ever do Is to Avail;
through a square. But I dmv say that
what you suggest Is very Jolly for those
who like It."
This Avas too vexing. It (pilte killed
my opening for tint metaphor about
The Ball of Life" nn.l "Heaven on
Farth," so I Avas brought to a stnnd-
stlll. Soon afterward he took mo back
to mamma; ami tho chance was gone.
Evidently Polly's met hod was no go.
And on thinking it over I saw why it
was no go. It was because It was an
allusive method. Now the allusive
method Is, no doubt, very sound for n
man, and for this reason: Woman
knows him to be a proposing animal;
she Is, therefore, on the qui vivo; she
leads up to it. But a woman proposing
for the lirst time, as I was doing, is in
a very different position. The man,
naturally, never suspects her inten
tion (having always regarded her as a
mere passive pnposee); he cannot
make out what she Is driving at, and
so her nl'usivencss Is lost on him.
"Yes," gaid I to myself, "there Is only
one Avay the direct way. .1 must treat
him as one treats children. I must be
plain, literal, precise. I must say
what I mean in the most simple, un
equivocal language. Yea! I must, as
it wore, propose to him In words of one
syllable. T love you. Will you wed
me?' There can be no mistake about
that. It is the formula that I shall
We next met about four days later.
It was in a tea shop in Bond street. I
was drinking chocolate alone at a
little table. There was a bunch of
hyacinths in a vase on the table. He
came in; he saw me; he took a chair
opposite to me. Greetings were ex
changed. I looked about. No one was
near. Here was niy chance. Bravely
"I ove "
There I stopped. Tho "you" simple,
easy little word would not for some
reason come out. It stuck in my throat.
"Well! What do you love?" he in
The "what" Irritated me. Was ever
such incorrigible denseness? A woman
would have had the sense to say
whom," as a matter of course. But
he had invited a neuter, and a neuter
he should have, if only to punish him.
"I love hyacinths," I said, crossly.
Y'et even here there would have been
a way out had he possessed an ounce
of perception. He had only to say, as
a woman in like case would have said:
Then I should have remarked:
"I always associate you with hya
But what do you think the opaque
creature did say?
"Pon't care for 'em myself? Smell
It was really impossible to do any
thing with such a perfect miracle of
obtuseness. So ray second chance was
However, a reformer who gives in
after tAvo failures is no reformer. J
must try again. I must be still nio)con
simple; still more elementary in n'r
language. After all, the "I love yovf)
Will you wed me?" formula was what
logicians woidd call a complex proposi
tiona combination of the categorical
"I love you," which in view of what
followed, was really superfluous. I
would only retain the essential por
tion, viz., the interrogative "Will you
Four plain words of one syllable.
Surely, these admitted of no ambiguity
Our next encounter was in Piccadilly,
on the north side, near Devonshire
House. I was walking west, he east.
We met face to face. I held out my
hand. He took it. Noav wa3 the time.
I made the fateful plunge.
"Will you "
Would you believe it? At that su
preme moment, by the cruellest stroke
of luck (surely the stars In their courses
were fighting against me), I swallowed
the wrong way, and had a violent chok
ing fit which lasted for two minutes.
It was too exasperating. To be put
off just at the critical point by a
silly little affair of the windpipe. Of
course, I couldn't complete my sentence
after that. It would have been liko
finishing one's best story when one
has been interrupted in the middle.
So when Charles Wilton, having
waited in polite sympathy until I had
done choking, remarked:
"Y'ou were about to ask me "
"To come to tea to-morrow after
noon," I replied, feeling obliged to
"With the greatest pleasure," he re
joined. When I returned home I foind to
my satisfaction that mamma would be
out the following afternoon.
"I shall see him alone. And this
time I Avill succeed," said I to cyself,
Eettlns my teeth resolutely. , ..
I f-hoilld Ji.lTf FU"0C0drd, too. Thv
i ii ) doubt itbout 1h.it. But rn tin-1-ifiketl
for net Kb nt again batMed rie.
l'efin I had time to Kiy U Word,
Charles Mid b'i ly exel.ilirt'd:
'I say! By Jove! don't ymi know."
Those wore his precis., wonli.
Neither more nor less. Not much In
lh"i:i, U there? But h jm; !i nv, like
MiTi'.hlo'H Avoand, they s-ervod. lie
took too In his arm..
It was like leaving out nil the proof
In one of Fuclid's "props." and Jump,
lug straight from the hypothesis to the
(. 11. P.
But the Q. F. P. Avas reached? True.
Yet see In what a position it placed
in e. It destroyed forever my prospects
as a practical reformer in the field of
matrimonial selection. I could not
propose to Charles, being nlrendy en
gaged to Mm; nor could I (for the
same reason) decently propose to any
And, on thinking the matter over, I
have come to tho conclusion that, In
tho present backward condition of hu
man affair, my scheme of reforma
tion Is, after nil, premature.
So long as n man can propose Intel
ligibly by merely exclaiming: "I say!
By Jove! don't you know," whereas a
woman may make remarks ten thou
sand times more suggestive, and yet
fail to suggest anything; so long, I
say, as this irrational state of things
obtains, tho female proposer Is simply
handicapped out of it. It is Iniquitous.
But it is the fact. I therefore advise
my kisters, like wise women, to accept
the fact and the male proposer.
BIG BORE RIFLES AND SMALL"
Tim Small W "So Doubt Totter For AU-
The old dispute between big bores
and small bores is mee.nlngless now,
because the most killing guns are the
high velocity nitro guns, Avhich are
all small bore compared with the black
powder guns. The best all-round rifle
is now the thirty-calibre nitro, not be
cause it will do all that is claimed for
it, but because it makes so much flat
ter a line to everything within reason
able distance than any black powder
gun can do. The ball goes too much
to pieces on some shots, and all that
I have tried throw ten per cent, of
balls wild, live slightly wild and five
badly so. But the swiftness of the
ball overbalances the other defects.
An all-round rifle is almost impossible,
and some sacrifice must bo made.
Sacrifice for flat trajectory is not al
ways a sacrifice of accuracy, but often
one in favor of it. Between seventy-
five and two hundred yards, the place
where most shots on open ground fall,
no black poAvder gun small enough to
be carried with comfort can make
up in accuracy what it loses in cuiwe
of trajectory as compared with the
thirty-calibre nitro rifle. T refer to the
high velocity shell and not the smoke
less cartridges of the same strcngfh
as black powder. The soft-nosed bullet
driven with the high poAver nitro is
the most killing form in which a ball
of equal diameter can be made for all
round work. Those c-f copper or steel
do not make a large enough hole for
most shots on the softer parts of the
body. From Handling the Bitle on
Came, from Outing.
The llenrtclie nbui j; Caual LocV.
A novel and unusually powerful
elevator for lifting canal boats and
barges from one level to another is
situated at Henrlehenburg, on the
IJS'tmund-Ems Canal, in Germany. It
c- i o or r in? n. on in in r or
fact , burden a distance of about
lie w feot ln slightly over tAvo
The elevator 'itself, that is
trough In Avhicii the boat floats,
oout 220 feet long and twenty-eight
feet Avide. It is raised by a 150-horse-power
electric motor, which rotates
four vertical threaded shafts, one at
each corner of the lift, and on each of
which is a threaded traveling block
supporting the trough. As these shafts
are turned around by the motor tho
four blocks are drawn up along the
threads, and carry the elevator along
with them. Five floats in i tank be
neath the lock on which the elevator
rests balance the weight of tho trough
and the water it contains, amounting
In all to some 0000 or 7000 tons, so that
the energy expended in raising and
lowering Is little more than that re
quired to overcome the friction. The
lock-gates are operated by electric mo
tors. The electric generating plant is
situated alongside the lock on the canal
iKnfir AVhere tlie Whip Cam From.
Signor Marconi, of "wireless" fame,
Is fond of dogs, and used to own a
cocker spaniel of unusual intelligence.
Tho young inventor says that one
day he took this dog to a saddler's with
him and bought there a whip. That
afternoon the animal Avas disobedient,
and he punished It with the whip he
had just purchased. But in the even
ing, when he came to look for the
weapon again, it was nowhere to be
Just then there came a ring at the
bell. It Avas the saddler, the whip in
hand. "Your dog, sir," he said,
"brought this to the shop in his mouth
this afternoon and laid it on the floor
and ran oX quickly." New York Trib
une. The trouble with idle rumors Is that
they are never idle.
an onciiAiit) ruor.
Growers of peaehrs are using coav
peas lu the orchard. The vines hado
the land and may bo turned under
when the pods are nenrly ripe, or may
remain as a mulch In winter. It is
more profitable to use the vines for
food for cattle, but at the same time,
If a mulch is required, It Is well to
grow the mulch, especially when a le
guminous plant answers ho avoII. One
advantage in growing the cow pea 1?
that it Is almost a sure crop, ami lime
or Avood ashes may be used as a fer
tilizer with It. The peach orchard Avill
In no manner be Injured by.gnnvlng
the cow pea as long as the land is
given tho benefit of the crop from the
manure or by plowing under.
WHAT MANURING WILL Pf).
I have found out what manuring avIH
do for land. Some manure was placed
on land which had not been so treated
previously for fifteen years and which
had been steadily cropped with berries.
In 1001 corn that had lit en planted on
It grow three feet high but did not eai
I then drew on twenty-live loads of
manure from a livery stable and plant
ed to raspberries and corn between the
rows. From the eighteen rows of corn
eighteen rods long, I busked sixty-live
bushel baskets, which though light la
weight made thirty-five bushels of sev-enty-tAVo
pounds. The raspberries are
a good stand with canes four feet high.
The land is very light, there being a
forty-foot depth of sand. A. Seydell,
In Amerlcalu Agriculturist.
' THE ORCHARD.'
To have clean, smooth-barked trees
A good place to put tho ashes from
tho wood stove is around the apple
Small grains, timothy or blue grass
should never be grown In the orchard.
If trees from the nursery get' frozen
In transit thaw them out slowly In a
If you did not cut out the borer3
from peach, quince or apple in the
6ummer or fall, do it now. . .
Believe me, a light coat of horse ma
nure now on the orchard will put tho
trees in better heart; then in April or
May COO pounds of some good potato
manure will be just tho thing.
Have you drawn away the brush
trimmed from the apple tiws last win
ter? If not, do it now before other
work presses. Whether you pIoaa1 or
moAV the orchard, brush -is a elecldcd
nuisance if left under the trees.
A peach tree in rich ground should
have its branches shortened in June; in
poor ground, where there is a less vig
orous growth, pruning should be done
now. Take off half of last year's
growth. This is the rule for peaches,
and. same will apply to plums. Farm
A HANPY IMPLEMENT.
The cultivation of long rows of
plants is an operation requiring- time
and skill, and if care is not exerciseel
the plants, as well as the weeds, may
be uprooted and destroyed. While the
gardener has used the hoe for' this
work for years past, and in addition -
thereto employed the cultivator' to gooel
advantage, there is a promising field
for the weeding and cultivating Imple
ment presented in the accompanying
picture. Its lightness permits it to be
easily manipulated by band, covering
the ground much more rapidly than
could be done with an ordinary hoe,
while the aeljusting mechanism per
mits the implement to be readily ac
commodated to the size of the plants in
tho row. The invention is especially
designed for weeding, blocking'out and
cultivating beets," onions," cotton, etc.,
and by loosening the bolts which clamp
WEEDING nOE WITH ADJUSTABLE BLADE!
the blades in place, the latter can bo
adjusted in relation to height and dis
tance apart, thus bringing the cutting
disks as close together on either side
cf the row as U desirable. Fhiladel
tibia Record, . - " .
'.. -.v - -VV.V' ((". F