The comet., August 16, 1884, Image 1

About The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916

Image provided by: University of Tennessee

                
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VOL. I.
JOHNSON CITY, TENN., SATURDAY, AUGUST 16, 1881.
NO. 23.
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JriiT tPnmpoljfn IMnndorM.
Grovur Cleveland has quietly taken
k the woods of tho' Adirondaeks, and
the wholo campaign of his enemies
has been" disconcerted. He 'slipped
down to'sci Tilden jiiHt when ft flood
of malicious personal scandal had
struck him, and tho vcncrahlo sago of
Grcystono whispered in his oar,---"Go
and wit down in tho cool shades for a
.'fortnight; your , 'enemies will elect
you," and Cleveland dropped his let
ter of acceptance, gave tho campaign
liar the field to himself and took to
'" woods, whero he is serenely resting,
until his ill-advised enemies shall have
fought his battle, for him. And the
whole opposition campaign has boon
thrown into confusion by Cleveland's
quiet rest in tho Northern wriods.
Butler had announced his candidacy,
and promised his new letter oI accept
ance and platforn to follow Cleveland's
letter ; hut the Massachusetts revolu
tionist; has,, become 'Wire cross-eyed
than" ever ; lookiwfc vain, for that
vt!leveland letter he expected"' to have
answered some 'weeks ago. With
Cleveland resting complacently in the
woods, and tho Republicans overload
ed with' a' scandal that has recoiled
fearfully upon them, and Butler hot
tied up in his new letter of acceptance
that ho can't uncork until Cleveland
speaks, tho Blaine and Butler opposi-
, tion allies find thcmselvee complicated
on all sides with prodigious campaign
blunders.
UKACTIOJT.' " .
Campaign scandals arc always reac
tionary in their effect. It was so when
General Jackson was assailed as a se
ducer and an adulturcr; it was so
whon Governor Porter was heralded
r a libertine in the: Teg Beatty cru
sade, nnd it will, bo so in tho Presiden
tial, election of 1SR4 and for all"tlio
years to como which belong to free
government. The only possible es
caiw the fool Blaine leader liave from
tho Cloveland scandal would be in the.
threatened retaliatory -scandals against
Blaine; but if Deraooratic leaders,
with tho now clearly visible reactiona
ry results of the campaign liars in
ftnnniling Cleveland, shall turn the
campaign liars lonsc(on Blaine," they
will well deserve to be defeated and
they will pretty surely get their de
ports. Of all campaign blunders, tho
blunder of the campaign scandal
monger in the most fatal to those who
employ it.
'' - ivirti Votes.
. Anothot i'Jvrnpaifti.i. .blunder is now
developing Ink grave proportions and
return to vox tho fool Blaine leader.
It ll IhMdiot"! pTominonne given to n
?' few generally thnrhctorlesi Irish lead
ers, nnd tht attempted hurrah of the
whole Ir!sh-f4ni'rrcnhi;yte to, Blaino.
It has reacted pimply because it could
not do otherwise, and the wonder is
that parly leaders credited" with polit
ical sagacity, should have fallen into
such a blunder. It has reacted for
many reason, all of which should
have been foreseen .by leaders of ordi
nary intelligence, fit has reacted be
' cause it -hnr called' out Mr. Blaine's
offensive Know-Nothing record in his
own State, where every Irishman w as
excluded from even a military com
mission, and a militafy company of
moro than one-third Irishmen could
not be organized in Maine. It baa re
acted because . the protended Irish
loaders who proposed to deliver the
whole Irish-American vote to Blaine,
aro recognized, as a rule, as mere cor
rupt party traders in Ireland's woes, and
they have distrusted the overwhelming
mass of honest Irish, yotonw It has
reached because the disreputable and
ostontacinus trading with disreputa-
blo Irish loaders has aroused the la
tent hostility to Irish domination in
American politics that Mr. Blaine
planted and watered years ago, and
now thereis danger of the loss of the
whole honest Irish vote and of the
loss of tons of thousands of honest
American votes because of the subor-
dination of a great national campaign
, to a few blatant Irish political dyna
miters, who own and represent noth
" ing, but who propose to sell and deliv
or everything. '
Such are tne campaign blunders
which now cmbarass the Blaine load
ers, and they threaten the gravest re
actionary results. The fool I)imv
crat8 would likely have been no wiser
than tho, fool. Republicans, but tho
Democrats were a month behind in
tho start, and tney see their enemies
floundering in the mire they cast up
to defile the Democrats, and they may
thereby escape and win the battle by
BemiWioan campaign tminaers.
Cleveland is. safe mid serene in the
-woods, and Blaine would be ten-fold
moro safe to-day had Elkins, Reid
Thelps, Smith and other fool advisers
boon banished to the woods a month
ago. J'ntncfc'fciVi Tims.
There is only one Miniulnnt that
tievor fails, and yet never jntoxieatcs
Duty. Duty puts a blue sky over
i-vcry man ip in his heart, maybe
into which the ckylark, happiness, al
vavs "ik's finding. Urn. IK lWnfii
Korvc tirely'tt Horroir.
We publish below a pathetic letter
written by Mr. Greely on the death of
his little boy. Notwithstanding the
fact that more than thirty years have
passed since 'tho words wero "writton,
they will awaken sympathy in many
a heart that has known similar
grief :
My Friekd : Tho loss of my boy
makes a great change in my feelings,
plans and prospects. Tho joy of my
life waif comprehended in his, and I
do not now feel that any personal ob
ject can strongly move me henceforth.
I bad thought of buyijig a country
place, but it was for him. I had be
gun to love flowers and beautiful ob
jects, because ho liked them. Now,
all that deeply concerns me is tho evi
dence that we shall live hereafter, and
especially that we shall live with and
know those we loved here. I mean to
act my part while life is spared me,
but I no longer covet length of days.
If I felt sure on the point of identify
ing and being with our loved ones in
the world to coiue, I would prefer not
to live long. As it is, I am resigned to
what ever may be divinely 'ordered
We had but few hours to
prepare for our loss, lie went to bed
as hearty and happy as ever. At 5 a.
m. ho died " His mother
had bought him a fiddle the day be
fore, which delighted him beyond
measure ; and he was only induced to
lay it up a,t night by his delight at the
idea oncoming .up in the morning and
'surprising nie by playing on it before
I got up. In the morning at day
light I was called to his bedside. The
next day I followed him to his grave!
You cannot' guess how 'golden and
lovely his long hair (never cut) look-
d in the coffin, Pickie
was 5 years old last March. So much
grace and wit and poetry wero rarely
or never blended in so young a child'
and to his form or features were tho
j 1 i r
perieeuon oi ueauiy. we can never
have another child ; and life caunot
bo long enough to efface though it will
temper, this sorrow. It differs in kind
as well as degree from that wo have
hitherto experienced.
v Horace Grkki.y,
Tho Account of Pater Ptr!n,
A copy of George Washington's
"sundries accounts" during his eight
years as President, from 1789 to 1797,
lias just been brought to light by II,
M. Zimmerman, of No. 41)Ninth St,,
northwest. Among other curious
items in the account, which is written
in Washington's own .;; handwriting;
are : "Two dogs, weighing 85 ponhds,
from fanner Bassctt, to gnard, the
President's house "18 patent lamps,
to illuminate tho President's promi
ses;" "Damask curtains for the State
dining room ;" "A m.wive desk; lor
tli"o: l'ros jaentVoffice .10V,l1 W
sides items the account includes vari
ous amounts loaned bv President
Washington to different parties, bo
Bides amounts paid for at least 100
ottkingglnsses and French mirriors.
A "Franklin stove" for ,, Mm Martha
Washington's room cost 4, and a
French painting for tho "main parlor"
cost 13.
What u Fine Thing it i to bo a
CongrcNNman,
Itis'a fine thing tft be a congress
man if you can enjoy your vacation at
the expenco of the National Govern
ment ; and the gentlemen who aro on
the committees' to travel about tho
country on various eranda connected
with tho manufacture of guns, the
fishing question, the Indian problem
and the transpoj-tatin routes to the
seaboard, will, no' doubt, have a right
royal time, for the expenses '- 'of ! iheir
junketings during the. SummetwUtbe
about $50,000. It is doubtful if the
information obtained will bormrortl
tho outlay to the country.-. Never
mind, our servants will, havi :a good
time, and4 tho generous peobleT will
sweat at their desks and work-benches
' ...... .... ... - V .
What Speaker Curliftle Thinks.
Tile Democratic platform: is sound
on all the questions to which it folates,
and what is more to the purpose? it
expresses the honest sentiment" of 'an
overwhelming majority of the , Deruo-
cratic reform voters in tie; country.
It is an emphatic! endorsement of -the
fwliey of the present Democrntio
Hons of Efpresentatiyes' concerning
the disposition of 'pidilio, lands, find
forfeiture of tho unearned grants id
railroads,
A Home Thrnnt. -
A certain physician in this city took
a day for recreation and rest. He
wandered off into the woods, and with
his gun on his shoulder traveled the
country for miles around, and late In
the evening returned home tired and
complaining to his wife that ho bad
killed nothing. ...
"Had yon only remained nt' honjo,
my dear, and attended to business
am sure you would have locn more
sneer" f"l " Prr;rTn l-hi.
Am Apology to UreeneTille.
"KnovlcdKe vomcn, but wisdom lingers, and I
HnRpr on tlie shore,
And tho Individual witliei, nnd the world tu
moro and more."
"Lockslcy ITull." :
I forget who first used tho expres
sion "silence is golden, it 13 evident
the author had learned by oxperianee
the sting of words, and was desirous
to curb tho tongue.' This time jt is
not the tongue, but the pen, which has
given offence. My letter to TiikCom-
kt a few weeks since, in reference to
dear, del ightful Greeneville, has raised,
it seems, a ripple of disapprobation
within the breasts of some of its good
tizens. I beg a thousand pardons, if
I have offended. I would not evoke
the displeasured the good people of
Greeneville, for tho wealth of goleon
da's mines. I would prefer even tho
situation of Aeneas after tho fall of
Troy driven by the waves, the winds,
and the Dks True. I will try and
write hereafter with a "golden pen,"
diamond pointed, and tho words I pen
shall be words of love. The offending
letter was written in a spirit of kind
ness, intended as a compliment, and
not to offend.
To, me Grcehcvilc has always pos
sessed peculiar charms. I never loved
the hurry, tho rush, the bustle, the
confusion of the busy marts, where
man crowds man to death, where
mammon is God, where man may
be a prince to-day, to-morrow may be
a beggar, where' the strong throttle
the weak.. : .
"And oil for gold, :
Tho cursed lovo of gold."
In some ' respects Greeneville re-
iiiiuitn. mo oi my nauve town in me
lowlands of Old Virginia, one of the
oldest towns of that ancient State,
Its buildings are of tho stylo of archi-
tecturcof nearly a century ago. For
more than fifty yea til; it has not added
ono inch to its territory. Half hidden
from view by great trees, it rests upon
an eipineiiee over looking an arm, or
inlet of the lordly James. The moss
covered roofs of its houses are almost
as green as the grass plats of the yanks
beneath. In almost every yard, rare
flowers grow in great profusion. White
winged craft come drifting homeward
with the tide at evening from the deey
green hay below, and if its people have
a pride, it is, in the past history of
this town. He who recalls its past,
wins his way to tho hearts of its inhab
itants, j
In all my life can I recall but one
instance wherein it denixens took
umbrago at a stranger's remarks, con
cerning tho town, and tho instance is
thisi !
From my earliest recollection there
resided therein a class of old gontle
men, belonging to th olden school,
who loved conversation and society,
but dreaded labor. Their daily occu
pation from early spring until the
autumn blasts consisted in conversa
tion on the porch of tho one hotel of
the place. An olwerver of these habits
would notice that shortly after break
fast, one by one, they would appear at
these respective jiorticos, tooth-pick in
mouth. Then arms gracefully crossed
behind the small of the back, tho tails
of their blue swallow-tail coats, falling
gracefully over tho arms, swinging
gently .with each step. One by one,
at such intervals of time, each would
slowly descent the long flight of stairs
leading from these porches to the
steet, and ono by one, they would
wend their way to tho ouo Hotel, of
tho city, "The Eagle." This Hotel
was located in the, centre oof tho town,
and along tho entire length of, the
great portico, new benches wero fasten
ed. Upon these benches all the live-long
day did these old fathers'sit and chat.
Repeating tho oft told story of their
times and exploits. -' Every man the
living biography of his own and hi
y-
noignnors lives, un one occasion a
Yankee visited the town, and observ
ing that these old men, like the tide
at the foot of tho hill would, regularly
come anil go, ventured in their pres
ence, the remark that the town offered
the best opportunity to an enterpris
ing man for speedily realizing a for
tune on a small capital over any city
of its size in tho South. When asked
what investment he would suggest, he
replied : "I would buy eggs, set them
under these old 'duffers' hnd hatch
cmcKens au me year round.' it is
11
needless to remark that this man was
ostracized thereafter. He was avoid
od as ono would avoid a leper. The
old men, as he passed, would pincl
their snull and blow their great red
noses in contempt, Their dignity was
insulted, and to appease this "There
was no balm in Gilead." The good
wrvoa in secret laughed at the pointed
sally of tho stranger, and wished tho
enterprise success, publicly they wish
ed him a speedy trip to tho bottom of
the sea. 4 -
"Wbcro the purple mullet
And the Rold-fish rovo."
I appeal to my former letter, dear
Comet to bear me out. That it con
tains no word of levity nnd no offen
sive remark. Nothing therein contain
ed was intended to wound the pride of
any citizen of Greeneville, and if I
have unwittingly offended I submit
my case to the mercy of the warm
men and fair ladies of Greeneville,
trusting they will "deal gentle with
the erring." Yours,
W. W. L.WiillOKKE.
Writton for Tni (Iomkt.
Mr. Ijocran and Polygamy,
BY SEN EX,
,
Mr. Logan, in his letter of accept
ance says, "Tho Republican party
camo into, existence in a crusade
against tho Democratic institutions of
slavery and polygamy."
"Tho first of these has been buried
beneath tho embers of civil war. Tho
party should continue, its efforts, until
tho remaining iniquity shall disap
pear from our civilization under the
force of faithfully ' executed laws."
There is more cheek in this statement,
than in anything I've seen recently.
For tho North to sell their slaves to
the South as property and pocket tho
money, and afterward destroy the
right to that property without a con
sideration, and then thank tho Lord,
that they are not as. other men, tin
jit &c, is strongly suggestive of a
certain man mentioned in the script
ures, who prayed, but was not justified.
But how about polygamy and De
mocracy?
In 1800 when the Republican party
came into power, and began this cru
sade against polygamy, the population
of Utah, the hot-bed of niormonism,
was 40,273 ; and this was the result of
the increase of all preceding ages and
administrations (according to Mr.
Blaine). In 18S0, after the Republi
can crusado had been raged twenty
years, the population of Utah is 143,-
930 ; an increase of over three hun
dred per cent.
How is. that for a Democratic
tution, under a Republican crusade?
Ofcouise, according to Mr. Blaine's
argument this is due to a protective
tariff Besides, the Republicans are
pledged to protect our infant indus
tries ; and no where in our broad land,
is the infant industry, so prominent as
in Utah as shown by tho census.
But Mr. Logan says, "The party
should continue its efforts (the cru
sade) till this iniquity shall disappear."
, If tho efforts of tfio arty, are as suc
cessful in tho fiflure, as in ( the past
twenty years, hov long will it take to
stamp out this iniquity ?"
This is tho blighting curso of our
age and nation, a disgrace to our civ
ilization and one, that, at no distant
day, threatens our very existence.
It has more than trcbbled its power,
and its offcnsivor.ess. right under tho
eyes of this party of great moral ideas,
this party of reform. And then to
call it a "Demoeratio institution I"
But what effort aro nsed to destroy
polygamy? Mr. Blaino says no terri
tory allowing polygamy shall bo ad
mittod ai a BtAte with the Union.
That in all the remedy he proposes.
Mr, Logan says "sflverj was buried
beneath tho embers of civil war," and
I will predict, that polygamy will nev
er disappear, until it has a similar
burial. Ono thing is certain, it bos
only grown bold and defiant under
Mr. Logan's crusado. .
BSili Arp on IAa Partners,
I sat in my piazza, ruminating over
my scene, and I wondered that there
were so many happy matings as there
seem to be. Partners for life ought to
be congenial and harmonious in so
many things. When men make
partnership in business they can't get
along well if they areunlike inldisposi
tion, or in moral principle, or in busi
ness ways and business habits. They
can dissolve and separate at -pleasure
and try another man. A man and his
wife ought to bo aliko in almost'every-
thing. It is said that folks like their
opposites, their counterparts and so
they do, in some respects. A man
with blue eyes goes nearly distracted
over a woman with hazel eyes. I did,
nd I'm distracted yet wb.cn I look in
to them. But in mental qualities and
emotional qualities and tastes and hab
its, and principles and the like they
ought to class together. Indeed it is
better for them to have the same pol
itics and religion. ' And so I have ob
served that the happiest unions, as n
general thing, aro those where the high
contracting, parties have known each
other for a long time and havo assim
ulatedfrom their youth inlthoughtand
feeling.
Tllden's Itatlorwemcnt
Mr. Tildon's formal endorsement of
tho ticket was expressed in his letter
to the Albany Phalanx on the occasion
of the ratifycation meenting after Gov.
Cleveland had been notified or his
nomination. Mr. Tildcn wrote : "Al
though I cannot be present in persom
with my old friends in Albany on that
interesting occasion, I cordially co-operate
with, them in support of tho ox
celjeut nomipatpus by the Democrat
ic National Convention, and . feel, as
sured that injits success at the elec
tion, of which there is every promise,
the country will achieve a substantial
victory for tho cause of good govern
ment." -We Polked them."
"We Pierced them."
"We Buck'd them."
"And by the help of God we will
'Cb'sn-' !him." V zn!k Ww.
The Promlxe of Pronperitjr.
Tho Savannah Morning Few says s
Tho business outlook continues to
grow more promising. In tho great
financial centres the panic is regarded
as over, lhoro continue to bo a good
many failures, but in most cases they
are due to tho continued stringency
in tho money market rather than to
any extraordinary weakness of busi
ness houses. The banks, for some rea
son or other, still maintain a very con
servative policy. They do not appear
to be anxious to make loans, and when
they do they demand very high rates
of interest. Tticy are preparing, they
say, to meet the demand which will
soon be made on them for money to
move tho crops. However, they are
beginning to show more liberality, and
it may not bo long before business will
bo moving easily in its accustomed
channels.
Business men in New York are look
ing for a very prosperous season.
Their orders aro -already large, and
tho expectation is that they will exceed
those of any sesion. There is some
depression among manufacturers, but
working people generally seem to be
employed at fair wages. . There aie
certainly no reports of distress among
them. If business conies up to its
present promise tho fall trade will be
very large.
Ofcourso the basis of all prosperity
is the crops. Tho reports received
from every part of the country arc en
couraging. .In tho Northwest the
wheat crop was excellent, but the
prices arc not high. . The large, yield,
however, is some compensation for
low prices. The corn crop promises
well." The harvest is certain to be
bountiful. Tho reports respcting cot
ton place the crop above tho average.
There isn't any reason why business
shouldn't grow rapidly more prosper
ous as tho season advances. .Confi
dence is certainly returning.. Nobody
doubts that tho little panic that flur
ried Wall street a couple of months or
so ago has spent its force,
Stocks show a great improvement'
at least, those do which pay dividends.
Some o those which do not have ad
vanced a good' many points from the
lowest price they reached. Tho impres
sion in financial and business centers
appears to be that the country is on the
up grade, and that it will continuo on
that grade. The panic, assuming that
it is over, did not amont to a great
deal. In no respect did it compare
with that of 1873. The country was
too prosperous, and it soon reathed
limita it could not pass, The notable
failures were among stock speculators.
If the banks haul pursued a less limed
policy it is probable that there would
have been very few failures of
those engaged in legitimate busi
ness. Cnndidatos and Rhymes.
Wo take it all back. Tho problem
of finding words to rhymo with Clove
land and Hondrickt has been solved,
and in a masterly manner. With par
donable pride th Louisville Courier
Journal presents this to an anxious
public :
. Hooray for Cleveland I
Oh, who would grieve and
' 7.nmont the day when our Orovcr won !
Ilurroo for Cleveland!
He's Bare to leave land
Enough for poor men under tho nun I
Huzza for Cleveland!
In all' that we've planned.
Of good for tho nation, our Grovor'g there!
Speak up for Cleveland,
And we'll achieve grand
Results when he's in tho White Houso chair!
And tho Chicago Herald not to out-
donc indulges in tho ' following
couplet:
We'll shout for our man and hin Important ap
pendix!
We'll whoop'er np lively for Cleveland and Hon-
dricksl
Now these , are not very thrilling,
but they arc about tho best that can
be made of the very poor poetio mate
rial furnished. However, we expect
to vote, not sing, Cleveland and Hon
drieks into office. Utica Observer.
, . . . Dots From I'jist port.
A dam, shakingncartho mill, wakes
upsinners.
Big thing on foot after J,he election
a chill-Blaine. - -
Hunt for Lido and tell him to kiss
the baby for me. ' ' ' " ' '
-Newport iron bridge, five spans, all
np, ready for the passover.
How! Dot vash so very Blaine, dat
Cleveland must be tho next President,
nn'tit?
If tho Republicans have played the
dupe, why not play tho King and
take tho duco.
Send.u9 a King Cole, wo have
mountains to sell, puro mountain air.
aiid watr thrown rn. t (' , ,
With tho Pigeon bridgo completed,
and the French Broad bridge, that is
to be, "wo may be happy yet."
Our people have beeonio tired of
outsido courting and have concluded
to establish the Court House in New-
Iport
Yours for Cleveland mit Hendricks,
Yacoh Scumprk.
Tho Grandeur of a Popular Election.
Loss than a hundren years ago the
American poople were called upon to
select their first cheif magistrate. It
must evn thou have struck ono-jwho
surveyed tho situation with tho eye of
a philosopher as a grand spectacle.
A population really respectayc, but
seemingly small from the vast territo
ry over which it was spr.iad, agreed to
determine by the vote of the majority,
whom tiiey should entrust with the
execution of their laws'. If the eriee-
tacle was a grand ono then, what shall
we call it now, when our territory is
far more extensive and our population
almost twenty times as vast? To an
outsider, who looks upon our four or
five millions of voters as upon a given
day they shall march to the polls to
deposit their ballots for one who, for
the comifig four yours shall be their
legal head, it must seem ono of the
grandest spectacles ever known. The
old monarchies of Europe with their
dynasties reaching far back into the
middle ages, can afford no spectacle
so eloquent with moral sublimity.
But there is a reverse view of this
picture. If there 'isjin it much that is
grand, there is.alno much that is rid
iculous. Tho arts employed by those
who wish to be brought forward as
candidates aro not usually of a noble
or ennobling kind. Many of those
tfho have their eyes upon "the White
House" from their first entrance upon
public life, move towards it in lines
wonderfully spiral. Even if bo how
ever, ii.ave nencsty euougn to keep
his tongue from deception, and digni
ty enough to withhold-bis hands from
everything that savors of corruption,
his partisans are not likely to bo so
scrupulous. Some for a specified sum
in cash, will give active nnd earnest
efforts to buy up thoso who havo so
little sense or patriotism as to sell
their" votes for liquor or tobacco. Of
tho millions who shall go to tho polls
next November, thousands will be like
"dumb driven cattle" obeying, blindly
tho orders of the ."boss",. by" whom
they aro sold. These have no concep
tion of patriotism. They know not
nor care about( the question that are
at issue between the parties. . It is a
matter of tho utmost iiulifferenco to
them whether a good man or a bad
one shall bo put in office. All that
they know is what tho boss says, and
what ho says they will do. The High
laad class was ncTcr more obedient to
his chief. When we contemplate all
the corruption and trickery that shall
be employed on tho ona side and the
other, the spectacle of a great popular
election lo6es much of its sublimity,
and we begin to doubt whether after
all our prida, our system is so vastly
superior to those of the old world.
Sunny Smth.
tipllntera.
Written furtfTiiK Comet.
BY BKNRX.
Tho most. gigantic of our infant in-
hstries is in Utah.
The first district is not the first peo
ple that ever demanded a King.
Rotat ion in ofilco is indispensable to
the prosperity, purity, and perpetuity
of' Republican Government.
An administration, conscious of be
ing its own successor indefinitely, is
sure to breed corruption.
Tho star route, aiid whiskey ring
fellows owe their safety ' and their
wealth, to protection ; a pet scheme of
tho Republicans.
Mr. Blaine says we have prospered
under a protective tariff: therefore our
prosperity is duo to tho tariff. He
might as well hnve'said we have pros
pered, at the same timo polygamy has
"trebled .its forces," therefore, our
prosperity is due to polygamy.
An uncertain tenure of -office, be
cause of the strength of a political op
ponent, is one of the surest guaran
tees of constitutional enactments, and
correct financiering. . A consciousness
that the books will never bo investi
gated, except by w, will load to sins
of omission and commission.
Plantation Philosophy.
Dar may bo some men dat is so lion
cb' dat da wouldn't steal to keep from
starvin', but somehow I wouldn' trust
'em in my smoko houso no quicker
den I would a man .whut am hardly
so hones',
Do heart must be in er laugh ter
make it -truth- Do dry haw, haw o' do
man whut wixild like Tur: yuri ter
think dat h's kinoeent o' (mylschwnc
kain' fxl me.1 Do laugh whut is true
mus' hab a War mixed in wid it.'
Who
ring?
(Rep.).
make up the penitentiary
Deiii o c r a t s ! Tenneesean
Who make nine-tenths of tho peni
tentiary convitt! RcpnbljiNin?"
COMET HPAUli.S.
In Tunis, Afrlea, wives sell from $20
to $120 a head. America is the coun
try whero tho dearest sell tho cheapest.
A colored girl, at Saratoga, wears
$10,(X)0 worth of diamonds. Very ap
propriate if she is "coal black."
' "Mr. when you get the headache,
why do you always insist upon Miss S.
playing the piano?" "Because tho
two miseries neutralize each other."
Cremation is becoming very com
mon in England. Surely the devil
shows wonderful enterprise in begin
ning his endless work on this side of
eternity.
There is a James (i. Blaine in a
California jail, and when he read some
of the tales told in tho papers about
James G. Blaine, he felt that he was
forever a ruined and disgraced man.
There is to be another thorough in
vestigation of tho Greely expedition.
After a long, tedious and costly inves
tigation it will be ascertained that the
weather about tho north polo is very
cold.
Six hundred nnd ninety women
voted at recent election, in Seattle,
Washington Territory. Exchange.
It would bo interesting information
to know who wero tho bosses in that
election. , '. . , . . . .
Let the poor school teacher who
tugs along in the school room take
heart from the know1nih;i hp.t Car-
old, Arthur, Cleveland, Blaine aiid -
Hendricks once taught the' young
shoot how to idea.
An exchange says an old mountain
eer heard every body talking about
Greehn return. "What?" said ho,
that blamed old fool out again? I'll
see him where am h ducks went
before he'll ever git my vote agin."
Blaine and Cleveland both, earned
their first money by teaching tho
blind. Blaino is now blind, and Cleve
land will teach, him, a lesson in No-
embcr, that he will never forget ; tho .
lesson that the poople are not too blind,
but they can see tattoo's. . i
..Trtke a wasp and pull out his sting-
er, burn the pith out of a sewing thread
nd make his pants thereof, aray him
hi a bobtailcd coat, and start 'him
down the street with a section of a Tyw
straw tied around with a bluo ribbon
for a hat, and you will have a perfect
minaturo of a dude.
Cut a wasp in two and Its head will
keep moving about seemingly unmind
ful that its body is gone. Tho sub
stantial part of tho Republican party
has been severed from its leader, but
the Plumed Knight still moves on in
desperate hope of a victorious life, re
ceiving stings on every sido from tho
executive part of his party.
. In tho cold bleak December,
After the fourth of November,
f his will bo tho sad refrain
Of tho Mulligan Jim Blaino,
"Had I but served my country with
half tho zeal I served the Littlo Rock
Railroad, she would not, in riiino old
age, havo left me naked to tho mercy
of a rudo stream that must forever
hide mo."
"I got hold of a Republican paper
yesterday," said John. "I read
Blaine's letter of acceptance. The
tears just flowed from hiy eyes. I had
to quit reading for my faco was suffus
ed with tears." "Why, what was tho
matter, undo John?" "Oh, tho letter
was so long and in such fine print it
effected my weak eyes."
It is often asked by Rome
Where do bonds come from,
I can make do explanation.
It seems purty plain
Dnt old fader Maine
Was de daddy of do bond speculation. .
Now old farter Blutne was de speaker of do
House,
And do Mttle Rock bonds wero on do market.
II o was sly as any fox, and as nimble as a
mouse,
And ho crammed de "Llttlb. Rock" in his
pocket. 1 .
William Nyo is said to have fractur
ed his backbone again in an attempt
to write a poem for Puck in which
rhymes were to be made with tho
names of Cleveland and 'Hendricks.
William should have remembered this
history. Once in ancient times a very
smart man was asked to find a word
to rhvnie with "month." He thought
a long time. He tinnlly said :
' Thcrc werc two 'rntfrt a hunting went, '
'Twas lu December's month;
One had his pistol thrown away,
Tho other had his ftunth rown away.
If William had recollected this epi
sode his Pegasus would not have laid
him down to lay bun up. illiam
could, we believe, write poetry like
that without the slightest effect on Ins
back. N. Y-. Star.
Wo know a man of modern times who
is much smarter than tho Star's smart"
man. He ttaya: ... , n
I asko top4;uc;tled man, ,t
To;inime a fhymo tor month;
ifesaM; "I don't know th I can, ' ' '
. .. r But I kiW I oid lt wooth." ;.
:;,- .jV;.:, Xahvitte IforW. '
We know a girLBtill smarter :
A sweet Uspthg girl, ' ., : '
With her Up In a onrl,
Hald, "I know rhyme for the month. .
Juth look in tho glath,
Aiid you'll thee an tb, , ,
Youfrck! il bit lnil, t In tf I hmioVil duntli."
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