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OUR COMIC SECTION |
D1 Events in the Lives of Little Men | [J ' ~ PACKING" (Cppyriphr, W. N. U.) THE FEATHERHEADS Beautiful But nin loo< at that Ts*‘fflE : r s ®'iiF f TIBI I 1 111 r Excited! ismy C <sirl over there- 6vample, of the. 11 \)1 This dress \ viHAT A DARING Old SAW ABouT: f II 1 9 V \ ° REHEARSAL-- COSTUME! SHE "L/OUN<i GURUS | U | |aj l> T§H THRILLING? J doesn't HAv/fc J should BE SEEN }■ I jstu as Sotf T © Western Union 0 FINNEY OF THE FORCE They Should Have Padded Floors W SETTING- WORSE b- --L-/ SKtlgg-AN'THINCrS HAVE USED To BE WE- V— ~T- ' Y COME To A PgETTV PASS 'E HAD SIUVERWARE )tt= — ' ■-■VZ_-/ LOOK AT THIS MAM COMlMfr* EE 2 ~ ~~ = 4 ° UT ►low—lF IT DOMT LOOK f=T ?wapkims HES -> * =A loike he's got something- F > NAPK _ : \|JNDER HIS COAT r ,111. \ 1 I / / ~~Zri— C IWE IDEA OF THROWING )~ \ \O I IA. —fE V THINGS AT ME/// ‘ . MIDLAND JOURNAL, RISING SUN. MD. [LIFE’S # LITTLE 11 I JESTS fjffl KEEPING IT DARK Story Teller (in boarding house) — Many are the times when my com panions were within an inch of dying from hunger. For days we went with out food on one occasion. Everybody thought our end had come, when one of the men cut up the soles of his shoes anc made them Into soup— " Hush!” Interrupted the rest of the I boarders. “Don't let the landlady hear.”—London Tit-Bits. NO TELLING She—The new styles for women will soon be out. He —I’m wondering what they’ll pull | off next After You, My Dear Gaston? A customer sent the following uote to his grocer: “Please send six dozen eggs; If good, I will send check.” The grocer, however, was not doing any business on such risky terms, so he replied: “Send check; if good, 1 will send six dozen eggs.”—Montreal Star. Two 'Orders “Well,” reported the new salesman, swinging jauntily into the office, “I got two orders from Toughnut & Co. today.” “Fine, fine!” exclaimed the sales manager enthusiastically. “Yep. One order to get out and the other to stay out.” Please Do Not Disturb Maid—And when shall I wake you, madam? Mrs. Haughty—l’ll ring you when i wish to be awakened.—Everybody’s Weekly (London). ; Why Worry? “Tommy,” said the teacher, “what is one-fifth of three-seventeenths?” “1 don’t know exactly,” replied Tom my, “but it Isn’t enough to worry about.”—Staley Journal. Fast and Furious Chorus Girl (quarreling in dressing room) —Not only that, but you get uglier every day! Second Ditto—Another thing I can do and you cannot.—Answers. Another Joke “I want a cheap coat hanger.” “Yes, sir—twopence.” “Twopence I Is there nothing cheap er?” “Yes, sir—a nail.”—Cape Argus. HAPPILY DIVORCED “My, how happy that couple seems to be. Just married, I suppose?” “No—Just divorced.” it Was Real Work “Have you ever done a lick of work in your life?” demanded the angry housewife of the tramp. “Lady,” he returned, “If you think asking dames like you for a bite .o eat, ain’t work, youse don’t know what work is.” Mistaken Identity Jakie—lkey, you should pull the cur tains down when you kiss your wife; I saw you last night. Ikey—The choke is on you, Jakie; I vasn't home last'night. Pass the Tape Measure Prospective Purchaser—l’m afraid your make of car does not suit us. My fiancee cannot reach the brakes and the steering-wheel at the same time. Salesman—But, sir, the car is per fect. Why not try a new girl?—Tlt- ISlts. Lucky Things Happen Mary—Did Henry tell you I rejected* him? ' Henry’s Fiancee —Yes; he often tells me of the lucky Incidents of his life. - ODD SUICIDE CAUSE Because he had told his friends a lie about the size of a fish he had caught, a twenty-one-year-old Aus trian angler took his life in a fit of I HERE’S QUICKEST, SIMPLEST WAY TO STOP A COID * FOLLOW DIRECTIONS PICTURED BELOW J * \ 'if throat is sore, I crush and dissolve 3 Bayer Aspirin „ . _ Tablets in a half Take lor 2 Bayer Dr,mk Full Glass of glass of warm water Aspirin Tablets • \\ ater • and gargle accord ing to directions . Almost Instant Relief In This Way It you have a cold —don’t take chances with “cold killers” and nostrums. A cold is too dangerous to take chances on. The simple method pictured above is the way doctors through out the world now treat colds. It is recognized as the QUICK EST, safest, surest way. For it will check an ordinary cold almost as fast as you caught iL That is because the real BAYER Aspirin embodies certain medical qualities that strike at the base of a cold almost INSTANTLY. You can combat nearly any cold you get simply by taking BAYER Aspirin and drinking plenty of water every 2 to 4 hours the first day and 3 or 4 times daily there after. If throat i 3 sore, gargle with 3 BAYER Aspirin Tablets crushed NO TABLETS ARE GENUINE BAYER ASPIRIN WITHOUT THIS CROSS "\jy I Enjoy the best in New York! L fine room *9OO i ■ with Bath double m Delightful rooms, 100* location, delicious meals * * * Also ade luxe 3-Day (2-night) Trip including Room, Bath, Meals JH B and Entertainment (famous motion picture theatre, sight seeing, Chrysler Tower, cabaret) at only $9.50 per person. I Hotel BRISTOL I 129-135 West 48th Street New York City I A Hotel of Character and Distinction KL_ Just East of Broadway wJfl */jy r///%£Aj?r ofTtew^cyi^f Rro STAY AT The LINCOLN IS A HAPPY REMEMBRANCE An int*resting cosmopolitan atmosphere . Cheerful reams . Pleasant service . . Fine res taurants . . Moderately Priced . . Around the corner are theatres, clubs and glamorous Times Square , . A perfect hotel for the visitor . . IOOM with BATH, RADIO A SERVIDOR from *3 Single and *4 Double JOHN T. WIST, Manager low Under New Management . . ."A Reliance Hofei" INCOLN 44th TO 45th STREET - Bth AVENUE, NEW YORK A S> ve you 3 glorious days 111 in NEW YORK I 9 I INCLUDING JL best room accommodations, meals pm pson and entertainment features at the HOTEL PLYMOUTH 49th Street, near Broadway, N. Y. CAPACITY 700-ALL ROOMS WITH BATH AND RADIO Select any 3 days, including Week Ends or Holidays let DJlYmnaArrlvm on Y hour during the day Dinner la the AD Ufnl hotel. Admission to the world famous Roxy Theatre Night's lodging, largo double room, Omln ft y Breakfast and lunch In the hotel. Royal Blue Sight See "■*** 1 Ing Bus trip. Dinner and entertainment at the Bread way Hollywood. Night's lodging, largo double room. ? r d IT Braakfast and lunch In the hotel, Visit to Chrysler “ u t ' nl building tower Check out ony time before 9 P.M. The specified days for en joying the attractions may be changed to suit your convenience. This tou will be continued indefinitely WriteOr Wire To J. J SCHAFER, Mgr., For Reservations remorse. The fish was really so big (he wrote in a farewell note) that there was no need to exaggerate Its size. Death, he added, was the only way to wipe out the stain on his 1 honor. and dissolved in a half glass of warm water, repeating every 2 or 3 hours as necessity. Sore throat eases this way in a f£w minutes, in credible as this may s^em. Ask your doctor abokt this. And when you buy, see that you get the real BAYER Aspirin Tablets. They dissolve almost instantly. And thus work almost instantly when you take them. And for a gargle, Gen uine Bayer Aspirin Tablets dis solve with sufficient speed and completeness, leaving no irritating particles or grittiness. Get a box of 12 or bottle of 100 at any drug store.