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YES, BUT— ,
Mr. Blue—l hear you aren’t speak
ing to your wife any more.
Mr. Brown—3 wouldn’t say that.
I tried for years, but now I just
Nit—You know I was just think
Nit—lt was quite a coincidence
that my mother and father were
married together on the same day!
Singer—What do you think I can
do? Every time I sing, tears come
Nice Fellow, Eh?
“What qualifications are neces
sary to become a good poker play
er?” a bridge-playing wife asked her
“Well, it’s hard to say,” replied
her husband thoughtfully. “A man
must be calculating, crafty, cun
ning, and have a touch of meanness
in his disposition.”
“Oh, John,” exclaimed the wife.
“Surely you wouldn’t like to play
cards with such people!”
t “Oh, that’s all right,” he answered
proudly. “I nearly always win.”
Jones—l should have known my
wife fooled me when we were en
Smith—Why, what do you mean?
Jones—Well, when I asked her to
marry me, she said she was agree
1 Mrs. Jones—Yes, Mrs. Brown told
• me she was around thirty.
Mrs. Smith—Well, it must have
; been a good many years since she
got around it.
MIDLAND JOURNAL, RISING SUN, MD.
Farmer—l thought you said you
were going to plow that field?
Hired Hand—No, I just said I was
thinking about plowing it.
Farmer—Oh, I see, you were just
turning it over in your mind!
Patient—l guess there isn’t much
hope for me.
Nurse—Nonsense. The doctor says
if you survive the experiments he’s
making on you now, you may live
New Hand—But when do you have
any spare time?
Farmer—All time on the farm is
“spare time." You just use it to
the best advantage.
WHY, DOCTOR I
A Chicago doctor, the new presi
dent of the American Medical asso
ciation, says the vitamin is being
overdone. The people of America
couldn’t be sick enough to need all
the vitamin pills that are being
made and sold every year, he de
The doctor doesn’t belittle some
very swell work being done by vita
mins A, B, C (and so on down the
alphabet), but he says it Is time to
halt excessive claims. We are with
the medico. Too many claims are
being made that vitamins will do
everything up to and including the
reconditioning of a hair sofa, the
elimination of birdshot wounds and
the lifting of fallen arches.
“Try a bottle of this remarkable
pale ale tonight,” says the radio
voice, “and get these important vita
mins that will cure general debility,
cross-eyes, low blood pressure, mea
sles and cigarette breath.”
“Do you sometimes feel a little
below par?” says another air-wave
pleader. “Are there moments when
you are not the life of any gathering?
Rush out now and buy a loaf of Mc-
Swiffey’s bread, so full of vitamins
that you will never again know what
it is to feel off form.”
You no sooner swallow that one
than an announcer shouts: “Begin
wolfing these remarkable gumdrops
today. Full of vitamins A, B, C, D
and E; they will put you in such
shape that you will never know a
Then to top it off comes one of
Would you be a fine American—
A credit to the land?
Buy Superdooper Nuttybars,
And chew to beat the band!
• • •
It’s being overdone to a point
where thousands of Americans who
really need vitamins get sore at
the very mention of them.
Elmer Twitchell thinks there is a
fortune in it for the maker of any
American product who will go on
the air with the simple statement
to the unpitied audience:
“I offer you this product with no
claim whatever except that it is the
best I know how to produce. I’m
not quite sure myself Just what
health-giving properties are in it. All
I want the public to know is that
whatever vitamins may be involved
are entirely accidental.”
But Mr. Twitchell may be biased.
He fell badly for a brand of animal
crackers sold to him on the repre
sentation that it had a vitamin that
would eliminate buckteeth, cure a
charley horse and add 20 yards to
* • •
MRS. DEWEY’S VIEWPOINT
“Mrs. Dewey said she would not
make speeches, talk on the radio or
write for the newspapers.”—(News
I will not write a column,
Nor talk by radio;
I’ll make no lecture tours,
Or round the nation go;
If I get In the White House
I’ll stick to plain brass tacks;
Let Thomas run the country—
And just let me RELAX!
No syndicate can touch me,
I’ll show no writing style
With men like Westbrook Pegler
And Simms and Ernie Pyle;
I’ll not record my doings—
I’ll merely be a wife;
Let Thomas have the spotlight,
I crave the peaceful life.
I will not give Indorsements
For beds or books and such;
I’ll have no platform manner,
Nor literary touch;
I’ll have no railroad schedules;
No bugles will I sound;
If I get to the White House
I think I’ll stick around.
I feel it must be pleasant
To occupy the place,
And do a little sitting
And set no dizzy pace;
Let Thomas get the headlines,
Red, black or green or pink;
The White House must be lovely
When one would sit and think.
To keep it nice and cozy—
To see the cooking’s right—
To be around when Tommy
Is lonesome is my delight;
I’ll soothe him when he’s fretful,
And cheer him when he’s gruff;
Just staying in the White House,
Gosh, CANNOT be so tough!
• • *
Dr. Charles Kettering announces
that he developed a rocket plane 25
years ago, as did Lawrence Sperry;
' and that since the Nazis decided to
resort to this type of thing, we are
certain to produce something bigger
and better. Can’t you imagine the
howl the Nazis will put up about
brutal and uncivilized tactics when
• • •
There are certain serious short
ages in Germany, the largest of
which are in convincing explana
tions and alibis.
*UUUUJbi |MpROVED UMLMJ
By HAROLD L. LUNDQUIST, D. D.
Of Tha Moody Blblo Institute of Chicago.
Released by Western Newspaper Union.
Lesson for August 13
Lesson subjects and Scripture texts se
lected and copyrighted by International
Council of Religious Education; used by
THE PRIEST IN THE LIFE
LESSON rEXT—I Samuel 2:27-30, 39; 4:
GOLDEN TEXT—For every high priest
taken from among men Is ordained for men
In things pertaining to God.—Hebrews 5:1.
Failure to observe God’s law in
evitably brings disaster. That is
true in the family, and in the nation.
It follows even though the man who
sins is in a high and favored position
in God’s service.
Our leu ton which brings before us
the work of the priest in Israel also
reminds lis of the sacred relationship
of father and son. These are im
portant matters inviting our careful
1. A Holy Calling; (2:27, 28).
Eli wan the high priest in Israel,
an office ordained of God, and by
Him established in the household of
Aaron. The priest was to stand be
tween God and man, there to seek
His forgiveness for the sins of the
people, and His grace and mercy
upon them. He was to’ teach them
the law of God and to seek for them
divine guidance. He was subject to
special laws, and had great privi
leges of service.
Such a man must not only be holy
himself, but unusually diligent about
properly rearing his sons who would
follow him in this office, which was
by God’s ordinance an hereditary
one. He had to be both a good
minister and a good father. Eli was
flie former, but he failed as a father.
In the New Testament, Christ be
comes our High Priest (Heb. 7:26;
9:11), and those who minister for
Him are to bring men to Him—the
“one Mediator between God and
Man” (I Tim. 2:5; Heb. 9:15). In
this new covenant the minister has
a high and holy calling, but it also
is made clear that all believers have
the liberty to come boldly to the
throne off grace (Heb. 4:16); hence
they too are called “a holy priest
hood” (I Pet. 2:5).
11. A High Responsibility (2:29,
As already suggested, Eli was evi
dently a man of personal piety and
integrity in office. We honor him
for that, but we regret his failure
to properly rear his sons who were
to succeed him.
It is not enough to meet one phase
of our responsibility before God and
then, because of our faithfulness
there to seek to justify weakness
elsewhere. One sometimes hears
the expression, “But he is such a
good man,” as an excuse for failure,
but it just will not do.
Eli did remonstrate with his boys,
but he waited until it was too late—
or did it in such away and at such
a time as to be ineffective. His
failure at this point is declared (v.
29) to be a placing of his sons above
God in his thinking.
What a solemn warning to indul
gent parents! “Not to rule and re
strain our children, to give them
their own way, is to honor them
more than God. Ere we think it,
weakness becomes wickedness in
ourselves and in our children too.”
God has "made every parent ... a
king in his home, that he may . . .
command his children in the way
of the Lord” (Andrew Murray).
God will not permit such sin and
failure to pass unnoticed. He will
set aside those who fail Him (v. 30)
and bring them into judgment. He
has others who are willing to serve
Him (v. 35). Evidently young Sam
uel was the one in mind here.
It is both significant and encour
aging to note that in the midst of
the wicked and Immoral surround
ings created by Eli’s sons, God had
the tender vine of His own planting
—the life of the boy Samuel, grow
ing up In the temple. He was al
ready hearing God’s voice and
learning to obey the call.
111. A Heavy Judgment (4:12-18).
The Israelites went out to battle
against the Philistines. Meeting de
feat, they thought to gain victory by
bringing the ark of the covenant into
battle, and who had the effrontery
to appear as “priests” with the ark
but the wicked sons of Eli.
Swift and awful was the judgment
of God. Not only was there defeat,
but the ark was lost to the heathen
Philistines, and the two sons of Eli
were killed. When Eli heard the
news of what had taken place, he
too fell and died. Here was the
tragic end of a life that had begun
with piomise, and all because of
weakness, failure and sin.
There is a pointed lesson here for
us. The people of Israel depended
on the ark itself, an outward symbol
of godliness, when there was no
spiritual life in the heart—and they
went down to failure. Will we go
through the motions of religious ex
ercises, talk easily of prayer, appoint
men who please our itching ears
(II Tim. 4:3) to preach to us, and
then go on our careless, worldly,
indifferent way, supposing that our
formal religion will save us? Paul
tells us in II Timothy 3:1-5 that “hav
ing a form of godliness but denying
the power thereof” is a sign of the
“last days,” of “perilous times”
which have come upon us. May_jk>d
Place This Attractive
Sofa on Your Budget
YOU can buy a bond and have
1 this sofa too, and that is about
as near to having your cake and
eating it as anything I know of.
Here, the cake even has icing on it
for this sofa is no Plain Jane of
a couch with a make-shift cover.
It is built around an old cot but it
is smart and substantial and has
a back and ends and soft reversi
The frame is the trick. The rest
Is the simplest sort of slipcovering
fSTEEL COT WITH
GOOD SPRINGS ANOfeiE - ■ jS
NEW CUSHIONS TO AtX4
job with loose cushions made to
fit. The sketch shows exactly how
the frame is made though you
may have to substitute other ma
terials according to what is avail
able. Any sort of wallboard or
composition board or even a dam
aged piece of plywood will do to
nail over the framework of lum
ber; and it is not essential that
the back be made double as shown
e e e
NOTE—This sofa Idea is from BOOK S
which Mrs. Spears has prepared for read
ers. This 32-page booklet also gives fun
details for transforming many other old
pieces of furniture and step-by-step direc
tions for repairing sagging springs are
illustrated. Copy of BOOK 9 will be mailed
for IS cents. Address:
MRS. RUTH WYETH SPEARS
Bedford Hills New York
Enclose IS cents for Book No. 9.
IfljJjyta SOOTHING MEDICATED rOWDEs]
f Passenger Cor
✓ Power Plant
The reason for the great
demand for tiros and other
rubber products for military
motor equipment is evident
when it is realized that to
day's infantry divisions re
quire 3,500 ordnance vehicles
of 160 different varieties. The
same size outfit in World
War I was equipped with
4,400 horses and 153 ord
nance "motor vehicles.
Because of the poor condition of
tires and other parts, 43 per cent
more cars had breakdowns and
had to be towed from the tunnels
beneath New York's Hudson River
In 1943 than In any peacetime
year, although traffic was 28 per
cent lower than In 1941.
Get Into Action
For Full Vietoryl
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