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PETER II I I 1 B. pewe rro ~- V._ “ 1 i , _ ! PWHy DOESN'T HE hp cavc HP ! P| ■ #■ ■!■■■"■■ ■, ■...,- . ■■■■ |„ fmmmmmmmmmmmam i mmmm mPPPtpmMMpaHBM THOSE COLD ! lllli ll 11 ] THINGS IN BED 1 ' 1 |jUpfi|sl WITH HIM f i I V> i ‘ „ ?inlflil ; _ iHi! 1 -wwu i '■ -■ ----1 ■ ■-■■-■ < V/J f SOMETHIN' HE BLAMES \ L RAM ROD IS LOOKING- \ I ) EVERY BODY IN THE PLACE, -_>*- FOR. YOU- IT'S.YOUR. ) s V AW ACCUSES THEM OF j jf' v TURN CAM/ 7 1 > ?s _ ~ . J 1/ WASN'T MISS \ / OVER AT V | IS THERE ANY ) ( SO'FLA&E \ V HER DESK.'/ } THINS X CAN DOA-’-s ] TALKIN© TO | l FOR YOU? yfr'A. , ....I wh.ce/ ; CORRECT! Teacher—What’B an island? Smarty—A'piece of land entirely surrounded by water except in one place. Teacher—Why the one place? Smarty—Thhfs on the top! No Bargain Lawyer—The cheapest you can get a divorce is about SSO, which covers court costs. Rastus—ln dat case, Ah guess Ah don’t want no devorce. Dere ain’t SSO difference ’tween dem two wim men! M All Depends Brown —I read in the paper where singing warms the blood. Blua—l can understand that. I’ve often heard singing that made my blood boil! Not Guilty A man was being tried for steal ing a pig, and a conscientious wit ness, to whom the accused was said to have confided, was being exam ined. “Can you repeat the exact words in which the prisoner confessed to taking the pig?’’ asked the prose cuting attorney. “He said, sir, he took the pig." The judge tried to simplify the question: “Did the accused say, *He took the pig,’ or T took the pig’?” “Oh, your honor, he said he took it. Your honor’s name wasn’t even mentioned." Say It Again Nit—See those two dogs across the street? Do you know that the smaller one is the bigger one? Wit—You don’t mean that! You mean that the younger one is the older one. Double Talk Jack and his wife laughed and laughed when I took them to dinner the other night and talked to the waiter in French. They didn’t know I told the waiter to give Jack the check! MIDLAND JOURNAL, RISING SUN, MD. JUST A BLOWHARD ; Jimmy—l’ve got a swell position on the team. I’m chief of the air force. Johnny—What do you do? Jimmy—l blow up all the basket balls! Say It Again Jerry—You know I’m not preju diced at all. Harry—No, you’re just like me— perfectly open and unbiased and willing to listen to anything, even though you’re convinced it’s rub bish! With No Mortgage! Harry—What did your girl say when you asked her to share your lot? Jerry—She asked me if I had a house on itl ELMER ON SUMMER REBORT CEILINGS OPA Is investigating overcharging at summer amusement resorts, fol lowing complaints of exorbitant prices for hotdogs, soda pop, salami sandwiches, etc. This column is not in sympathy. Pleasure seekers at amusement resorts eat too much. Nothing they stuff themselves with is necessary. We think the dollar hotdog would be a good thing, with an extra two bits for mustard. It is responsible for much of the irritability found at summer resorts. But Elmer Twitchell is for ceil ings on many other items at the sum mer playgrounds of America. He wants the OPA to put a limit on what can be charged for picture gallery photographs, bathing houses, sideshow freaks and fortune tellers. "I demand OPA protection at the picture galleries,” he snapped to day. “They are getting twice as much for a snapshot of me leaning against a fake cabin cruiser as in prewar days and I’m using the same face. When I squawk to the photog rapher what does he say? He says photography has gone to war! He tells me camera parts are hard to get, that all the best assistants are in Normandy and that the artist who painted the backdrop gets SO per cent more than last year for the same waves, wfaltecaps and rocks.” Elmer was in a temper. "And take the bathhouses. They sock me more than ever for a locker, suit and towel, and when I kick all they say is, ‘Don’t you know there’s a war on?’ “There should be ceilings on for tune tellers, too. I paid SO cents more for my fortune this summer than last summer. I insist that the shortage of tea leaves is bogus and that gypsies have to pay more for earrings and hair grease. * “They’ve upped the admission price to see the Two-Headed Boy. Why? Well, they claim there is a shortage of two-headed boys due to the war, but I am yet to see one in the army or in a war plant. * “The Fat Lady is getting Wore money, and I can see some justice in that. It must cost her more to keep fat, but there is one amusement re sort feature that should be punished by OPA at once.” “Who is that?” we asked. "The lady sword swallower,” said Mr. Twitchell. “I paid 10 per cent more to get into the tent to see her and a flame eater. About the flame eater I’m not sure. Maybe flames are harder to get. But I denounce the alibi of the sword swallower as wholly without foundation.” “What alibi is that?” we asked. “He had the nerve to tell me that swords are being rationed,” con cluded Elmer. • • • DIFFICULT If voters take to rhyming, It will not be so hot: There is no rhyme for Roosevelt, But Dewey’s on the spot. —Eta Beta A powerful plane is said to be waiting at all times to take Hitler out of the country, but he doesn’t know where he can go. Plenty of people can tell him. * Thumbnail Description He was the kind of man who could make one pat of butter cover three waffles. . • The Russians are moving so fast they must have a motorcycle escort. * Imaginary plea of the Nazi mili tary chiefs to the Russians, “Could we see that again, in slow motion?” The Pullman company says the present sleeping car is to be a thing of the past before many years. No more will be manufactured. This is going to be a terrific blow to the lad der and net industries. The new sleeping car will not have the double berths down both sides of the car, with aisle in the center. It will be a car of roomettes, each with running water, etc. It has al ways puzzled us that the conven tional sleeping-car could have sur vived so many years, but we shall regret its complete disappearance. We used to take a sleeper once in a •trhile just to see if we had anything left physically. • • • Can Ton Remember— Away back when nobody ever complained of the high cost of a glass of beer? When a Japanese reference to Zeroes meant planes instead of war chiefs? And when you could talk about governmental thrift and hold any body’s interest? • • • “I am going to write an essay en titled ‘Don’t change barrels going over Niagara Falls.’ ” —George Dix on in the New York Mirror. ” IMPROVEDuu jimms UNIFORM INTERNATIONAL SUNDAY I chool Lesson By HAROLD L. LUNDOUIST. D. D. Of The Moody Bible Inetltute of Chicago. Released by Western Newspaper Union. Lesson for August 20 Lesson subject, and Scripture texts se lected and copyrighted by International Council of Religious Education; used by permission. THE PROPHET IN THE LIFE OF ISRAEL LESSON TEXT—I Samuel 8:19-21; 7:8-1*. GOLDEN TEXT—He that hath my word, let him speak my word faithfully.—Jeremiah 23:28. Remarkably up-to-date is the helpful guidance found in this les son. When our nation finds itself facing those other nations which would destroy our Christian faith, and we know that we need the key both to a true victory and a satisfac tory peace, the message of this scripture comes with fine helpful ness. The prophet Samuel (who was also priest and judge) served God in ruling his people at a time when they were under the hard heel of the Philistines. The way out of op pression was revealed in God’s Word, which brought revival and deliverance—which was not forgot ten in the day of triumph. I. God’s Word Declared (3:19-21). While a prophet had the ministry of foretelling, his chief work was forth-telling. He told of the future, but his larger ministry was to de clare the message of God. As Sam uel did this in faithful devotion to the Lord, there was the immediate blessing of God which established the prophet throughout the whole land. Those who are timid about "limit ing” their ministry (imagine that!) to the Bible should learn of Samuel that it is the only really effective message. God will not “let you down” if you teach and preach His Word. He let none of Samuel’s “words fall to the ground” (v. 19) and He will not desert us as we give forth His truth. Note that the Lord Himself came to strengthen and encourage Samuel (v. 21). He is just as gracious to His servants today. He comes to them in that blessed strengthening fellowship which stirs their hearts and fires them anew with holy de termination. n. Man’s Heart Revived (7:3-6). The response of the people to Samuel’s message was whole hearted. They were sick of their sin and idolatry. They proved the reality of their repentance by put ting away their heathen -gods. Such repentance and appropriate action is a prerequisite to spiritual revival. God cannot give us His blessing if we hold on to our sin and idolatry. Note how the revival expressed it self. They gathered together and prayed (w. 5,6). Spiritual life thrives on the gathering together of God’s people. The crisis in Israel was met by a convocation of the people. We need to revive the great soul-stirring religious gatherings of a generation ago. Go yourself, and encourage others to go. Let the fire of God bum, and let those who meet scatter far and wide as brands which will light hew fires. “I will pray,” said Samuel. He was a great intercessor (I. Sam. 15:11, Ps. 99:6; Jer. 15:1). Revival starts in the faithful intercession of a burdened heart. Should we not ask ourselves, “Have I really prayed for revival in my church, my city, and my country?” 111. A Nation Delivered (7:7-11). “Cry unto God ... he will save j us,” was the word of Samuel. They : cried, and He did! “The Lord thun dered with a great thunder,” and discomfited the enemies of Israel. In these days of warfare we might well cry out, “Lord, do it again,” 1 thunder upon our enemies and de feat them in such away that they and we shall see that it was the hand : of God and not of men! (See Ps. 20:7.) That is one thing for which we ■ might well pray, for “behold, the [ Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear” (Isa. * 59:1). > Seeing Israel at prayer, the enemy * took advantage of them and at > tacked. In the previous battle at this ’ very spot (see last Sunday’s les son) Israel had been defeated be cause they had fought with the ! weapons of man. Now, with God’s 3 weapons of prayer and faith, they 1 had glorious victory. 1 IV. God’s Mercy Remembered * (7:12). Samuel raised a stone of remem : brance, to remind Israel in the 1 years to come that the Lord had * been their help. A defeated, dis * heartened, sinful people had turned * to God in repentance and faith, and God had given them victory. They must never forget His mercy. One of the great concerns of think r ing men in our day is the fear that * victory may come to us before we are spiritually and morally ready o to receive it. If it does, we shall r see a mad rush into excesses of all kinds, a bold glorying in our own t ability and power, and even greater forgetfulness of God. What America needs now is a deep going spiritual revival which will both prepare us for a God-given g victory, and for the peace which is :- to follow. Practical Slip Cover Ideas for Your Use SLIP covers for bed ends —for the backs and arms of chairs and sofas—for table tops and chairs! Other practical slip cover ideas are in these directions. • * • Practical slip covers that save fabric. Instructions 796 contain step-by-step direc tions, all Information to make these slip covers. Due to an unusually large demand and current war conditions, slightly more time is required In Ailing orders for a few of the most popular pattern numbers. Send your order to: Sewing Circle Needlecraft Dept. (2 Eighth Ave. New York Enclose 15 cents (plus one cent to cover cost of mailing) for Pattern j No— Name Address aspaf with its heat rash misery. K RjJfA I Sprinkle on Mexsana, the TH i soothing, medicated pow- IJE AT der. Coßts little, and you II Cnl save lota in larger ana Buy War Savings Bonds Those with taooed-<lrrk skin. externally eaosed, who want it i lighter, smoother, softer, should try Or. PRIO Palmers Skfa M Whltener. Use 7 days as directed. ><. J If not satisfled MONEY BACK. WApf l1 W*,/J 25e at druggists. FREE Sample. Send Se postage to GALENOL, Dept. 8, Box 264, Atlanta, Ga. Dr.Frtd Palmer’s Skin Whitener A Dab a Day keeps away! 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