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EPH ltLY'S FELT. "A Mighty C mr - i ' Man' Se cedfrs From tfie F-Wa.hin2 "You have withdrawn from th Baptist church, h vr ou. Lorn?" was ashed of an o'! negro. -Yj., s:r, V-- Coiddn Man' Ueni folks no longer. Too much water 'mong de.n folks, boss. Didn mine de bap-izm' o much, but vvhz de loot washiu dat got away vvii me. Vcr see. 'ior.gmg to our church is a monstrous buck nigger. Iinul.U-r Eph B!v. I doan know whu-ier it wuz a put up job ur not, but I alius had 'er wash dat sionn drel's hoof-,. I coul hi t fuse when I muz called on, mi my on!v p'sn wuz ter git ontcii de chore; I ! !H If vwine ter li-pute de fack dat r . 1 . .: I .1 o r!.. ; MWII IS win 4ie.ii ijik-, " j '...r .1. 1a Will a m " HT IlillC lookin' ro:m' lie cou'.' fine citizen dat's er heap mote kert fui 'bout tiar pussonal habits, ai. Ez I tclU ver . I ain't gwi'ir ter viv lat it wuz ur put-up job, but tuther day on tr public 'cazion when I wuzerwashin dat triflin niger'a feet, I eed him look at de wimnien folks an' wink dat daim watery eye o' luzen. Di weakenetl me a jjood 'eal, but 'peer ed ter me like de weaker I got, de stronger his blamed feet become. Nor, sah, am vMiir ter fbiiu' no sinnyvvations on .!e h-ue o d Lawd, but 1 iu erd dat de scoun'iei made er beid u arter he ot me broke in er litde bettei, dat he would not arnly make me wash dem awful hoofs o' hiz 11. b it dt he wou Id 'pel me ter wash h- cioze. I'-c :d- ways been er mighty 'cominerdatin' man, but ef I haster lo de scrubbin fur de church jet fur de pu'pose o' enjoyin er little 'hymn er 'casional ly, w'v, sah, I'll drap de 'ligion an' do le work. I ain lazv, unVi stan', but dar's suthin miyhty tire some 'bout wahin' er biy nigyer's feel," Atkansaw Traveler. DaTj Crockett"! Gun. The reporter had the pieaiure of handling Colonel Davy Crockett's old mu yesterday. It was in the state treasurer's oflice, where it had been left bv "Colonel Bob," Davy's grandson, now in the Arkansas sen ate. The gun is a long barreled, silver-mounted affair, and alonjj the top of the bai rel, in gold letters, reads the inscription : "Presented by the voun men of Philadelphia to lion. David Crockett, of Tennessee." Near the Kiuzzle, just back ot the bead, was the Colonel's motto : "Go Ahead." Many of the letters were so worn as to be almost indistin iuishable, and some of them were cone completely. The gun has come down from sire to son in the Crockett family erer since it was presented in 1S31. To the repor ter "Colonel Dob," who novr ovtiis the gun. said : "There is not a gun in Arkansas to-day which will shoo truer. 1 killed hundreds of deer with it, and think more of it than I can tell. My grandfather left it at home when he went to Texas, tak ing with him his old flint-lock. It is a rare old gun and a great curiosity. I have been recpaested to send it to the exposition at New Orleans, and shall do so in a short time." An OS Year. A contemporary wittily points out the fact that it is an off year for state legislatures. There has been an in tellectual constipation, or a political locomotor ataxia, or something Our little iriend notices that the legisla tures ot Oregon and New Ha:p khire have both adjourned without electing a United States senator or doing anything else ; the legtslatuie of Illinois has been in the throes of a senatorial birth for two or three months, with no prosoect ot an early delivery; the legislature of Ohio pro voked the railroad people to snub it with a rciusai of free passes to the presidential inauguration; the legis lature ot Pennsylvania is treading m its own footsteps : the legislature ot New Jersey is called by a fournal of th.nt state a cheerful lot of brigands. etc. From all ot which inapti iwde in the ways and er.ds of law- i.ian;g. ve venture to argue that ioth socially and commercially the -tue .can spates will nrobably tare otter north ;.n the coiTiincT The Sctcme of ueutiai. iarricv. tt js probable that the determina tion of at least three of the Central American republics t resist the scheme of President Rufino Ba-r.os ot Guatemala tor umfitig -he tlv ,tafes under one government. ..- with the attitude promp -rrtrer a-U'o i Mexico, will put an en-1 to t::e !it.?ator's ic'unjnui.s for the present. There i iifle evidence that the p'-oulc of Honduras are mv more f-votabl- to the project titan tao- ot San Salvador, Nicaragua and Coa Rica, but its president. General Luis Bocra:".. ha been ,ni Over bv UiiTir-s. et..er by promise or tin eats, and . i ha. a,ntti! to hi declaration. tli'.- legislative council in those states rrpu si-tiis. not the will of the peo- l hut tne w ;h'.-s ot president. i'l'j i- nontr rets on miiuaiv .oiue. - - i Ti.f unif.t! d Cei.ttal jubne r.iay desirable thin- 2 f t b t- un:on wer harmonious and in accoriance v : il. if.-kiics ot 'he r-eooii' it s'-t ' ne jjive f entire 1 certuju Ti. oea than o'.eir snuaie m -les ::no .i.cu Oil: considerably !. 3,kk.ox. More th-m h.df the popuiasioii c..r;;'s of native Indians of unuoxed oooiJ. and probaldv luiiy o::e ha.i th-e re niamder are rroe and n;est:Zoti. StaM-tics are jmoefVctlv c ass t-.e,!, but it is doubtful ii uic v. ,re in the five s'ates number h.ai 'j mtbion sou's. The vn ites are e n: '' race, out their mo .tt- I i v,C!!l! is a parody on frve insnui' oi;-. So. I they are suOstantialiy homogeneous in character. .11 l their u.le:e-tj -re n t great! v diverse. One g-vei -i menf tfdcrht he i'-. sm'aiticd oVe" t-'" live states provided it wa based on flu- consent ot the ruling class in each. But it it were established by lorce eiiutiit.ti,' from the heat! of one of the republics it w 011KI certain ly be subject to frequent revolution ary movements atiJ be verv un stable. The proclamation ot General Bar rios was an unexampled exhibition of impudence. It was known to him that Nicaragua and Cota Rica were bitterly opposed to j union under his authority. lbs efb fs to gain the consent of San Salvador had failed and he obtained the nomi nal co-operation of Honduras only through intrigue with j weak presi dent, who has held his otHce but a few months. Guatemala and Hon duras have together more than one halt the population ot the five states, but much less than half the white population. Then ability to subju gate the other three states is d ubtoii even ii thev were a bearttlv united in the attempt a- tho-c -t.ites would be in resisting it. though the rtemu s ot Guatemala alone exceed, tho-e ot the other tour states. llondr.ra. i heavily loaded with de' t, w!:;cts may account in part for "e v.-:!hiigie of her authorities to jo-u in ;n o;jmer.t which would res'.d: in siiotilo?: mg it upon t!ie confedcrah. 1 jepi'"-; c. Barrios i-a lor a ear s played the tvr-c.t in Gut iauulj. and enriched hin.si ;t ni the pu'o.c ex pense while M'C'-.riny al command t-er t:;e a'i;;. .1. is ambitious, unscrupulous. ars i . a ring, and is not inun teied with :? . . wit'n ouc. nvight. with. :he help ot Hon duras, give the people ot Central America a hard strrggie tor ihe maintenance of their independence. But from Mexico he lias :eceived a signiucant warning. He ha already had. a bcur.dary dispute w ili. that country, and the pretecih vd the troc.tier wou!! gie Mexico .1 i:;eu xt for "precautionary n:easu:e.'wh:ch tnight implv inncii. He would find his powerful neighbor ol Mr north opposed to his designs, and would, of course, be without avmpathv ttoni any other quarter. The state which he proposes to subjugate. have friendly relations with other powers and commercial mte:ets which are j now attracting unusuai attention, j He could not precipitate a war in Centra! Atnrii-n M.-!;;usor ;runt.-r 1 protests than are usually excited by j u.njcr:aila niV cs, or Uh'J:. di, e:r reTolutiocary oroceedir.g in that j UIuble ' ta.-e me lu ni. wrmer !:r.tii ..... ... ' . , ' t t ; M ?rev weaker and poorer for i-or.rn ::d quarter. It altogether pr&ab:e theBS:ht I should die. F.tiailv I in that he will abandon his hign-nanued ; daced to trr Merreli female Tonic :.d scheme, and if a union ot Central i surprise I found mvse';; geitir.j; -trco-ger America is to be troug:i: -U-ut lt will b. hr rvfV.. ,., -n.- th-Art :h j proposed by him and under a i A ret ire -.1 nuw."-- -.-o- ' turcd into a cotton-in':;!, and. while : he was - ol.. and :i innocent :nlo some i di c .d- in an ungardea i''olil: perpetrating so r(e ot t shop-worn jo-ces upon oriel u -i of the r he was !M v : onderou jreari:: fully cm out ot I'.-. an'! -pre Tnev . :.'.!. IV: A C . i the . . s "a" h it " o.l ti -Who ! the at xious it : cr- i i x trr.ered at out.-.. Tun :i.e i.un i.-t ht fv and moved .V . .1 moi:!-'?'.!'.!' 5t4!i.)er -e 1 !.t U. ,ir There !. yood re a i no'joc y recognizes im. - .-j , 1 vv hi-pereJ. p inito.i o ii i- - j the svmpanivz.n bytan br asked lt'-it!e." the iiunion: ex:);nc 1 as he saw a ciiance to steal home, because I nave been travelin- ni ! And then a same love a Mim- nu-r cloud !)laed tor an instant over ' his features nd w.t- tuc. lie iic er i .ni!io; airam. all ria:; Parn-il's Propo:tU!!. London. March 17. Pafnc t :dej at a banquet in h-nur i .irriciv s i:a. i.i yaiiio t . I T . . . j t to tl"e Irish nation" h: be hi er time cvsi:. lie 1 tribute to the cntrpr: seeing masstifacttirers wl advanced t: r d-versihed Industrie o: Ireland to ti:e pooon thev tve ; ivv attain- ed, but le t!-a :OU; il Hl.ti it men and Iriii vvo.iien t.' World wotild Us:.- t.'.e e. e. ducts ot Irish toii m ttent ve tr.e pt aco- O'hT I : t V 1 ! sic ude nc i cable io t'ne t xcosr- j products the mycelial p.os I I:e;au.i v.'ouid i:i"t'.' ipi 1 -' .oeo. her fiu incial ind-.- be m-cui ed :ier political K'.vte- bb follow.- pen. ;e wotiO! -ie A (j i r. '' iri. Thorna. it Newton, la., i savs; '-Mv wile h.is Ijccji serioi.slv uflcet- f ed with a cou'gii for twentv-tivc cars and ; this s-prini more severe than ever before s .She tiaci ue.i inu .v ririnetties, with.iut 1 relief, and beinji ureJ to trv K.hijs new j diMiiu-iv, did o, wirh must tjralif v i njj : results. The f.ii bottle relieved her erv much, and ilie second bottle has. absolutely ' cuit-i4 her. She has not had so fjiod ; health lor thirt.' vears " Trial bottles iree at K. M. Ciui;.iv A: CoV- Uru tore i Large sie, Si ot. Butler, 'Lrt'i see," mused B. turning t his private secretary, "what ; business was I eng.tged tn last tail?' j Last fall flcctixelv. said ti.e secretary, re- Ol whv. von we:e run- tiing for picsident.' President? Pits-d tit or i:..t 'Why, president o States.' 'O. pshaw! t or dreaming." Then the pnv.i'.- r.:Y' irv pr cu. c .i an old Copv oi t. Sun tr.d called Under' New Yo:k ii.tcntija to several editorials.. Weil, blame my hid.-.' e:aui.ed thetieoetal; 'von are t-rrec!. t.ut the iuciiient had er.tiie'v -dipped m txiemory. I was ia ...'-. i.g ut; j t; iiiression tha? o:. . .. i- eXCUI's:. ,;; p. ri. - . .. :, , i .' .. ' ia-: t a . I . " -Ndh s .' .1 it V. : d-sei v :ce I .x .11 Colore.: appi:.iii hr tn- ::'j;;.- ; .rtie" cnier) "Slate tae m. r iioos Lou. !,.;. Engla.-.d. to Ca'cu d:a. via ih S; .ilia;,' ."-..I i . ' Applicant---"Sa-. . i- v.. e -l. sr(r ter PUr iiV o-. r..-ur, v ;: ' . tt.s-,r . v; m v Cassia offeti de :o. ..." poor John v;.s so :.,i ! bong, said a b?rcaj 1.1. last bet was S50 that he Could 3'jO lam in Us entv a.ii.iio-.' Did he v in tne !-etr' 'Pu' t'te 0:0a t ' od n . ' c e . ( I - : it -N. hury V. .-a.: nt hu-! lb::.. - 1 f !- in he T ... " e . -; , ,; . -r. ltl- ..'.-. i'.. e. ih-. : v? At. r;r: h i: ..j . hod t:. fc-.r- .. - v.-r y'-.-vt tr?.i :-.e i nt-IJ never rt wc.l j ii?o I .c ",' the fcrst aose.andaf.erusios One btlP I was a . ..mmT nri i P Respectruo v, Mrs. Ta-t;e A. wd'hieh c IVs:. : i ot M. ; V w H tr-''.' :'-$ has. '! "'-r : - -' .-i-f . . - Neun! Of JM'k ii.ad. Le '.y iu u.- ' , win:! i r.v't a . $C.V v ; 4 cur. f,: N.rv and jtHit. N-- T'"' !ri''tiiry ino.i.. ::ie fc t obtained uob Mr- : ,' vi-dv.tsi. it iz-.-i.: tiioal profafaiuu. FOB SALE BT ATX rr.Cr.cre- A A MELLItR, Pr-irt.-f. "f DKAI.EKS IN Till: Celebrated Mitchell Farm Cortland ps Il.d'.idiv MZ Suction hrocenes, Iron St'(l, Nulls, sqiiaro, Untlfr. Mo. V 1 MB mm wa a t.at j predicted I Qr gj- gjj i.ld a . . a no ru i ot far 11 i i 1 naruvvam, i ARKS! VI ri7S.S, SKSFa? PEITS, TALLOW, Beeswax, Wool, Feathers, Rags. Spot Cash Paid and no Grumbling. LEWIS IIOFKMAN, Main Sued, BUTLKK, MO. I take uh'aviire la aniiouncie ! T. . n.'.' , ivilliet ... s - .v ... y .......v., ! and have the l;irret ami h-st a , sorted Ktwek ol clock.-, w.-itehe and ! i.-wf.'rv and i!i'0!Hi le vcr brouirlit L'tiittd j to this market, whieii I will ell ; cheap for i-:isi. Having had ninny , vt-ars exj.cri'Oii-.- i:i the uianiilae Vou'if lure of waf! lies and eh'.eks in Ku : rone, I am nowr prej-ar...? to repair wareh.-s tsiid .-to k. no tnafer flow c-.ii)iii.:sfc'( nor i.f.sv in liy iiier have he.-n :i!i'i-l. ;ir ?iMigiii litei.i io !.. - i '- iii h.iV'e the-:) pr' lilt-riWHi ! i 11. .me -d-r 3" 1 l:i'ra: ci --il istaclio FRAMZ BERNHARDT Sutler. Mo it 4 ' '3 a f :ti iii 4 u ski f sr ; . 4. Ut . THE LARCHST STOCK HARNESS & toner Patent Collar! ki: k ANNOT -ei Ii Vi X ? v s " -5" e c! nJ .!E ef Bro Cj.r e r X H-t.U.c Mwiui KJxw of ' a.r M D. Pmal Mma. r ;.'. -!?- ' cw o "ri - u -'... 'S.! - ur Toy :at rs n . .1 cwi weio ui t J IWkw - "'- iU M D . Si Tbu.Ma. t.H'C OV lM I.'.K PLR HOTTI K ' "II 'A.-3UI5uro! AV.tK.bT. LOUIS. V. Steel Gear and m m .Standard QjS 23 o; I' 0 work. n &c. Xort innist rornor MY HIM tit SADDLERY. ct 1 s r tXl 18 uUB: Wagon, nee I umps. til Iff! I 1 JB I aaon woo BROS. CHOKE A HOUSE Hor--' Neck, has two Roves ofstitJi in r -,-e Setter thin anv other cot.'a CONSUMPTION, 1 -?t.7iTia iftic ei tbtis A u.4li i- .44. m.1- " "u. t. a. uh;i. i rtu A. r liiarrii.M'w 1 rh, Ffm Am. J--ttmJ ii t V- aui. ili - f- ' '''- N W J haSt.,Xw TutL 'Rough on Gougus;' The wnndertiil nucrm i;i co'.sumptio, Hioiuhitis, Asthma, ispi'ting ut Ulood Sore '1'hroat, l.i's of voice, i'4inrrhi throat . llo tion, chronic bv. kin, or tie.ht ceest, weak hins, ho.osCt,eWj j. ritattn and troublesotue cojijjh. Trociies, 15c. Liquid, zc. Though prompt and eil'u ieiit, it ii. mu and ban.. I .. S.ttc and reliable tor chil dreri Wherever known it i the tuo'hrn lavorite ouk!i medicine tor the intint tee children and adults. It is urpriing W efiective 'ROUGH O.N COUGHS," is adopud to and alvvav etieclin and :, to be vjiven in anv cougfi 01 cold, or leeti.ii or the throat, chest, air p.isvj, or lungs, and is ttie omv reaunl or aa avail in tedious, distiessiag Whunpii Cough, At druggist's. the Troche. ca. go bv ii. ail. lb S. WKuLS. Jerse C'iu, N.J 'Rjugh On Itch" Cure, humoifc, Ihuption, Ringworm Te tter, Salt Khruui, Frosted Feet, Chi! hi. .in-, soc ai . ' Rottill ON Tool HAUIE." Iiis-aut relict ho ti.i;dj,i.:, Toottiad Face. u he. 'je- THE SCiKM K OF LIFE. OHH Bv Nbtil Post-Paid. (irtMit .Mrilieal rk on Manhood i'xaioted vit.ilitv, nervous and plivti eal debilitv, f'-ematur.' decline in man errors ol youth, and the untold uuert'f result img Irotn imh .1 letion or rxc.-vvet A hook for ev erv man, v oung iiiiddle-ageC mil old. It eoutains l.'5 prescription tor iill .n ut'' and chronic di-' ntc ed mie ot which is invaluable. So found t the Author, wli ise experience far j: vear is ueh as probably never be fur. "tell to the lot of any phrici.m. j pages, bound in beutitul French mu.lit e:i)t.i4cd covers, lull ci'.t, euarantred N be a finer work in everv i.ensc incchani eal, literary and profeskional than an; other work o!d In thin country fur $1 (v or tne moiiev vvill lie refunded in cver instance. Price only $1 00 by mail ookt-paid. Illustrative i.:imple oenU Send new. Cold medal awairird tlx lUthor iv the National Medical Astocii tion, to the officer ot which he rctcm. I his book hliould be read bv the young for iti.trin tion, and by the alllnteJ to. reliet. It w iil 1 enci'.t all, London Lar cet. 'There is no member 01 fcoi ictv towhoit this book vvill not he useful, whett couth, parent, guardian, ini.tr 111 tor (1 clergy man. ArHanaut. Addiess the 1'eabody Medicine lnr tute, or W. II. liakcr. No 4 Uulifinc Stieet,' Itu.toc. Matt., who nuy be cor Kiilted on ail dis-;ii-eH requh ing kill an. experience. hninicand obktiuate lu eases that have ballled the skill ot t othtr phtsiciar.a a upacialtv . .Suidi trei' ed uces.fullv without an instance failure. IIAL THYSELF. SUBSCRIBE FOR Mil: WKKKI.Y GLOBE- DEIV10CRAT. 1885. TKN PAG31S One Dollaii im:r vivi. The Largest, Ue' .o d C ' ',' Wei kiv New. I'ij.-.t " "se v .-l- Daily . per yer, - 0 .Semi-Wee'.lv per v.. ,;. Zt Tri-Weeklv Sunday Ibi:-i .n. '2 " Postir; 4s!-. I .o.d will receivi y t r -a! . Adfhess. ... .. GLOBL PRINTING CC Sen tor a r ole copy. St. Iotl,