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THE CAPF, GIRAIifiEAtf TRIBUNE, dXpE GIRARDEAU, IXiS&rttJKr, WEpN'ESPAT MOKNIXG, NOVEMBER 27, 191S.
Grain Insurance On Farms It T ri "icw t f the present high prices lor all kinds of Grain, I made nn : i c Uerits with the Insurance Companies I represent lo Insure against Fire and Light njng, Grain and Seeds of all kinds, cut or uncut, threshed or unthreshed, shelled or unshellcd, in shocks, stacks and ricks on cultivated land, in farm dwelling house, bins, tanks, granaries and cribs. , These grain policies are written for $1.00 tor 3100.00 insurance, for one year and I am in a position to take care of you if your crop auiouuls lo one hundred i or one million? bushels. " When you sell the crop return the I'olicy lo me, and 1 will;ivc you a check for the unexpired term of the policy. The insurance companies I rcpxcser.t have been doing business in Cnc Gi. rardeau since 1866, and have more than one hundred million dollars assets, ard piy their losses promptly in caih. A. C. VASTER LING SturdivanlBank Bldg. C -1 L Gil FEAU, MO JOKES THAHL MAKE YOU SMILE AT YOUR TURKEY Better Paid. "Yon there In overalls!" shouted th? crose-exa mining lawyer. "How mud arc yon paid for telling untruths?" ''Jxss than you arc." retorted the witness, "or you'd lie in overalls, too." Way to Work It. "A nan .should not stare at a prettj girl If lie has his wife with him." ''Uividerfiy nor." 'IN .-ides, he ran got an eyeful out of "no corner if hs at all smooth." M1 Ih MRS. KOESSEL IS si r . :-V.rr Ll'.i!- oi" fever. t .Vir. ;m-,1 Mi,. Cli:!;;. :. of 2Iri-. !.:. !. , v ri: ill only a ":' iler '"on-i'-'Jo-M d.d not. "li.v l'?rd Wci'K, did y n. wwsi.i y;;;r great for- 1 w-rlv rvWl-d Mr. i(:::f.n 1 aim- Wife Of Former City Fireman i liedOf Tjrhofd Fevei-II! ; f Short Time I h ien r of li, ; 3 ;ih; b wly oi .Mr.;. Charlcj Ko;. : !,! rafe of the mechanic, wn ; '. si ;n -! . it , - lhy night of typhoid fev r, v i:'i - t ;l-'rohna yesterday luortifirg, win !.:. . it wa buried in the Fiolma cemetery, j JJic funeral services ?.erc J.eid from j ia S v .Mr.. Ku forme" re i';;. ir;:' put briir.e-.: !! IM C i'ii' I .: r ; ,tv you 1 i'vit iri;r." 7o. jjiit Jl iia try frequency . J.Vi-.,V .f the I.. :n ' '01 '. ; i Co fli-:l a ;:;('!' lie. Al;:rr : I.. . r..... .1 ;) l tn.i; !.:.; f..:-!! -I .1 i Mu-i- : i iT'-i!!;;)-- it, JO'i : .! I , 1 1 r :in 1 w.'l.i jl( ' I 'io lo .1: i- l i:i VVm tri ; ; A Popular relative. 54 'do to the ant. Until Klu?3ard,' ir. very poo'I advh e, tlon't yon thiuk so?' aU'i (he ihronie qtiotr. "It's snodj I-ut rarely foilirved," r-i- j o tl;e pa'.Mihr.tker'M clerk just !- foi'rf H'O nonessential order got hi'v. ' i! " p'ecanls 1 knew came to their unrle." Ronshin, Jcr InsMnce. tils-. Tnlrrs Cv. I uonilt-r why tlry jeai: of these lore classic dances hf tein interpreted? 'y Titt rrs Why, llanner, F am tin'y en Kurpri:-; d at you. l vn'l you ! a"V.- ;.m-!c (line - allers wrltteo ia amis forv'n language? Putting r-i Mis lime. .'T .'jrver could pen what a tiat'in doe3 v. lii.' d'oe." ' "SYT.c rnnhj mjpeif." r:aJf1 Plun': i'.'--s 'popn'ar ot! nolle, "until I f': l'li - i ot;- ai-'iind just to find out. 1?' : tr' f!M- break faf:J:; and si dinner.':,' Stud ?f Tcnperancnt. nM ;i..ut.v a num for bis TO TELEPHONE SUBSCRIBERS On account of the increased cost of all materials and sup plies used in the maintenance of the telephone plant and also the necessary increase in wages forall classes ol labor, the undersigned company is compelled lo ask li e Mate Public Service Commission for permission to increase its rates in some classes of telephone service at ils C? j e Gi rardeau, Mo. exchange, as follows: No Changes Are Made in the Residence ok Business Kates Within' the Cape Girardeau City limits Except as Follows: $l.f!0 jier month .50 per. mouth per month .10 por month 1.00 per month .15 cr mouth .2" per ni uitli .2-" per niontlt .'2o per nioiifli .10 per month .15 per month Cape (iiianieau T!io c;o v 1 j r.: ;r-y .;.;) u: .ii inn, . 1 Inv) V-iV ,cn t T ' i 'Wo." n i t Il ss Cavc'Mto. , i:'. in wbh iuiii' jii .t now i. likely t liavi hi-; l) . i u tj"i'i l by norrj over (!; ineom;- tns." Vhat, AfjSin? I: :. C:d;li:i.ii - And !-: IMrs. OiTt lV 'Awl har broj.o : ff her cnK.ip.cs.ueid ,lt!i Mr. It-i" Witt. Ah: : i.-'ein- -::. . decided tliaf tcr onco i?. v.cn! I ho Iv-f tcr to .!ian. !: r "iud thari Ik t naijK-, Cream oi and Snowflal T t 5read Fjnic and the Cync. ' Tl:ey s iv tli t s"1oibou wn .T-'srst man." 'Vc5.'," replied ?I. I'U't." UT r,';-iVmnn hnd all kind:-; of a reput,-? t-'-o. the rit lf .( iii:ti ho nhh i't .u-tiloy any pij!ili ity lalf ut that nick his fancy. Fccplc ct Scr.ilhc.u4 Missouri any new have this ex cellent bread at all times, made iucl as it was made I c .ore the war, only with more modern machines. Each leaf is wrapped in a dust proof package and is as clean s it can bcs We have just installed a hure douHi mixing machine at a reat cost, This expanse mean", not Tji to us if wc can make our customers more satisfied. Theic is pdI a bikcry in this whole section of the state that has such up-to-date, modern machinery as wc possess, and '.hat is xvhy wc make bread as ood as is made in St. Louis and Chicago. The government has removed ihc ban on the use of Hour and we arc again baking with piii e wheal Hour and the best ;;rade that is to be had on the market. Ii you enjey GOOD bread this announcement should cam:c you to give special thanks this time. When the t overnmentcrdercd substitutes used wc complied most willinrly and made the best ol a hatd job. because it was a problem to make bread that would L-tand the est. Now that we can et back lolhe old-time Cieam of Wheat and Snow Sake breads wc aie icoicin and we believe you will rejoice with us. Wc surely appreciate the patronage ol those who stayed with us during the war period and guarantee all the BEST BREAD possible at reasonable prices. We also will have pastries, cakes, etc. H you want anything special we have if. We claim that the best is ncr.e loo good lor our customers. Use Wielpuetz products ?nd you j-et the BEST. A Pair o' Docs. "Pa. what i.: a ttntadxV" asked !( 1 I yo:'n:r of an 'it. I fin;y. " 1 ' i'w o physicians who ;ui afce oi Hi t!:-: n:;r.:o of the disease that's peslT '5 a fcUow'.s ittiTior," explaineil p. LISTING (51 JOINV LiEIi, business station LISTING OF JOINT USER, residence station LXlTwA Dir.r:Cl:OF.Y LISTING, per Lnc '.' I OLD FACK TYPE DIRECTORY LISTING, per line....... JJental of I'ooth Lcntal of standard extension bell. '. . , Kental of I.nid rincirij extension bell L'tirlai of desk set extension arm , Krnlal of switching: key , Kent,'.! of aJ.xi'iary cceiver 1osk set ouI, longer thai six feet will be furnished in units ol" two fct, -each additional unit NO CHANGES AUK MADE IN THE KATES outside the C ty limit EXCEPT AS FOLLOWS: In all cases excess exchange mileage will bo charged on ail Company owned ttut'ons frjm t'ic city limits as follows: l or each o ic-fouitii inilc or fraction thereof: In.dividujl li ic. . . . . i,th- p..t oien'Ii T'vo party I n :;.;. p- r ucntS r.iur-party iine j; p.-i moMh I. x patty line ,; P,.r I10i,ih And in addition JJic loIkMinjr rales will lu chained on ail Com piny -".vned s'ntioiis as at Uiu citv liiui U: Individual Vnr business station $2.7;, pr, month T..-n parly I tie b'usi.Ks., station 2..V per i.ionlh oar-party line, busncis station 2..KI per monlli Vi hviduai Un?. residence s4atinn ;.;, ( , li;,mlli 'j wo -parly tine. r"si.'tncc station ....: ; per mouth I 'our-party l.n., resiJti ce'tlatjon .' ' .n ,., ,,,nt,. iJx--iil.y line, residence station . .To per monlk I 1 S t4 Wc have asked that the above proposed change of rates be allowed to go into clfect, December 1st. 1918. Each subscriber is thcrclorc notified that it thcrcisany objec tion lo the proposed increase, that such objection should be made in writing to the Public iiervice Commission t Jefferson City, Missouri, prior lo the effective daleol the proposed schedule. Cape Girardeau Bell Telephone Co. C. W. BOUTIN, Secretary. v.:r. i ' 1 i v1;ry attractive. Needle Oh, Mr. Magnet, you Ire co fltlrattive. Nice Walk. Tretly Miss (invitingly) Lon't yet .Uitit to r for a nice walk? 'i;dhint youth L should lovo to, I n it . Mis;;- Co ahi'ful, then! I'n fn t .pi'hi;: yifii. Paradoxical Glogan. ' V. hnt i y.u thitii; the striking bat r.!.: .- '-i 'i ' '".Vli;.t did th-y wiyj" "'IVi'll want lii'"i'd hrforp ivc "Wil intad MS" Ib.e Tirs-.es, "Ih:- U a very ii.-t" il.ite tory.'" ' iUw "H open?; v. ith the h-rn nod p.ro frt-it2 a h'undny jido in a coa. J nud pair."' I f WIELPUETZ BAKERY Phone 97 Good Hope Street Thow Reason. "The I.Mvyt is (aa't .'-pl't hairs ove. (l.-if case." "U liy t"?'. "J'eejiuf e it has nothing ia it bul bp hi f.-o'ts." Tl3 Troub'e. "I rc they have a eirci plasr; ealn .1 Hi- ho.-'pita!. Vhat is the nuttii "1 Ihink he has a pail? In his Fton fiCJl." An Easy Mark. '-.!? t.)h. my dear, they had su 1 baicains downtown today. They fo nn h cheap thiuss. U? I dou"t doubt It. I uullce the? told yo!t. A Gentle. Mint. Up Isn't ilia t "gone" feeling dread f,i!.' Siss '.SusieT Susie Oh, I don't know. There ait Ulucs when.-! positively enjoy it. Solid Proof. "It is all very ve!l to swear you love mo, but I want not words Imt deeds." "Hero they arc I brought them. all With me." . " j , C-CHLMC TO sr.AKL AGENTS. 'Iciiias K'H-wal pcepi-d fhruurh tlip iiu'i'ii nt" ortir-o. tu-: t iptiK-iii i hi.-; Iis! t a l!;sMid bandage aroim.I hi. nri-K. put Ins arm in a lins. ran lii Innd; thmuh hi:; hair and linilM-d to ll;o door. "Mr. Kuowyi;" inipiired lh caller. "Vr" gro.-mnl Known I. "Whal cm I do fur yoiiy "Y"i appear to bo far from well," -.-till the ejdler. "Appear to be!" ifhonl Knnwnl. "I'm you think I'm doins this for fun: Cut what can I do for you 5" "(Mi er I won't trouble you now." .lid the- caller hurriedly. "Any time nil) do." 'And he departed. "It's so. no trouble." murmured fsriowal, pulling fT bis banda5s. "Jail It's really the fjuiekef way to pt rid of (hese life Invninuiee agents. A Declaration of Pride. "Jly folks never hal n money n.ueli." said .Mr. Krastns PinMey. "I-en v-hiit you idway.-; brassin' "Im.u: vh!i faioily for?" "I want to t'll you my penph; to be mighty smart nn pojiular fe raise so many chiliun' wifout w itK'ney." In Days of Old. (lootlm.in Winthroj Since the pc leetr.ien have stopin-il neighbor S viff: illicit rum trathc I hear he's doinr sentcthing in Mocks. How is he pro. pci ing? (loofiiunn Alden Kxeollently well, i lindersland he'.s doing ninety days ir slocks. An Intuition. "Ynu wrut wrng th way you si-1 yy,, That one won't trouVdo me again, any-1 b wed that girl tf fake ynu. how !" iht JErrtKtON ANQ HIS AUTO. Si-me time ;!. Mike .!. T.-i .t !f-iii,iit a new aiiiomoliile. IP- (.mliin I furi ir very well, but of .-i-r , ; whole family and the rvar i wihei ( see how it would v. . t :i? Soui as pssi!ile. So ltke hod" t ''i - I niaehine to rapaeity and vtai ie-; 'it . r- coutiiry road. Kv-rybo'iy "i : ' liglited and Mike was rout! i.f faet that he could run fh mro-lum-lon without gelling inio irmible. I'.'i; tif'er a white, all de.-ii!el ibal it u.--gcttinir late and :s!o!i' lime in t!i:-, tdoiit for the homeward astro' U. '", was rii nnfor'nna'e d!eiio:i for .TefTeron. for he found to bis tx.rr. that he did not know how to turn liio machine around on a coimlry ro-oj. "Sorry. I'.iif I'll have to i-ep ye. I'g mill! We come lo ;i touu. 'ai'l "I know how to run around 5 Thought Him 3afc. I.ifo Tobhis 1'd boiv fold, wiihf Mindry ;;und slap:, thai lie was on no 'account to tih'. '' when b came in from school one day with metaphorically spp-ikie;:. "lorn sn'p ;ud shaffered deck." his fond mother; v;:s riled. "Tobi-is." vhe said. "'.here did you ret lhaf blick rye? Oidit't I fe y(,U good little boys never fight?" "Yes. an I believed you. ma." paid Tobias. "I w;i" sore he was a good Ut ile bey till I hit him, then I found he wasn't." doesn't knew the ro:;d." "'A ,11. do ji.,; :;t I I VPS being misx-gnided.' till .0J f - ... ..IF Wn. t ffi? ;Tl IOc Or MAR blotk." lie keit on going for II mile-: h$ fore he found a town 1m could turfl uround in. J The Reasoa. "Why is that screeching woman ir 1 the next fiat continually singing hoi 'Ho ho! sone?" "1 guess that's what she is cultivat inr her voice wilh." Good Excuse. "Why didn't, you answer my fele p one call this morning?" "F.ecaiise v."hi! yon were callinc me up, my wife was calling inr flown." I MfWE. ONt , til i w t-t I CH.RtS5 IT. r Y VSs. I 4 Gracious. "So sb turned you down?" "Yes.- but she was . very graciouj aDnnMt.. ' V SC ' ' " R-V K "W-luit did she say?" ' "She said she couldn't think of mar rying me but she hope I would keer on proiiosing so that some day she might be able to polut me out to her husband as the man she might have niarviod." A Matter of Necessity. "Don't worry so about the rnok Ir-pudence. Maria. Ion't take any no tice of her." "I have to; she's just given it. More Than Skeptical. 1 "Well.. I ij.;c. how's business?" sal "nr traveling salesman meeting nnj ;.lher. 1 notf en !" v:a. the nnswer. "How f U wilh vou!" t Fine! i'impi fine? im frij i s hl one man a Sd.iKH) nlher one .C,.'Kt." "So? Well. I think I ought to gql commission en those .sale.-." I "Whaddye mean, you ought to get Commission on those sales?" "Sure I ought lo. If you hadn't tnei ine yoij wruldn't have made Vm." . 1 my In sj bill anq Wrong Party. Clmlly (hutting in tn a busy day) fb chap. I owe yon nn apology. Busy Friend - ray fh" cashier please. I'm too busy to listen. THB HA PPT ONF "So MIps Grif fins 13 married at last?" "Yes. And who Is the happy man?" "Her dear old dad." ..1,..,,r,--:,:.,;...:u!X;:-t...-j; r.r.pv - :;r ;:;na il ill , ' iiiih.ii... y - ' PV-:H s:-1 VJVtDIO '.N-f -.oiji o5 t"ln;.NT VvVvf:. j J Natural Enough. Jones The typist niad four glar ing errors this afternoon. I'artner She's only rehearsing slv is to marry tomorrow. 1 psitR 'TP 3. urt' V At jii.ni 'U"!''..'..'!!!-'.!!! , I 11 II "I1,, , ' 1 !liliiti4!iuuiiW!,!HiUiUi;iikililituilUltU'ii''iiiiili')li4 Forcs'.shing Her. "Is it 8 good for a man n ilJi over his !tisines aTairs wilh hi.-? wif when ho goes b-me at night i" . "If Is a jcood. idea in many raseri replied Mr. ihidspur. "Yec ?" ., ding so a man who is thed o'll r" i has troubles of his own can pre ent his wife from telling Mm all it grievances against the neighbors j has accumulated Jurins the day.n f