Newspaper Page Text
B. H. ADAMS, Publisher.
CAPE GIRARDEAU. - MISSOURI.
JOHN "ATLANTIC" BROWN.
A Inn Story of a Gallant Deed.
Dn a ship that sails to Glasgow, to "Anld
Scotia" far away.
Where the heather blooms to beauty and the
mavis sings all day;
"Where the moonlight melts to silver on the
distant mountain streams.
And the air is full of romance and the Poet
"Where spectral "Tam O'Shanters" and the
ghosts of Scott and Burns
Haunt the highlands and the lowlands, the
mountains, fens and ferns;
Where the lovely bonnie lassies make the
Yankee tourists smile
And dream of Annie Laurie and fair Mary of
Ob that Glasgow ship Nebraska, sailing from
old Gotham town.
There it was I met the captain Capt. John
Brown, be halls from England, from the realms
He is bluff and strong and bonnie, for bis face
is full of fun;
"Yes. he's kind to everybody; but I vow he's
For humor flirts with wisdom in Brown's "At
JCw my friend, the Dr. Whitson Dr. Whltson,
To me has told this story, which perhaps yon
may not know:
It seems that Brown. when courting in his early
Used to swim the swelling Solway where it
flows twelve furlongs wide.
Xocblnrar and brave Horatlus ne'er could
swim as well as he:
E'en Leander was "not in it" with this viking
of the sea
Well! One day in middle winter, over twenty
Where the icebergs rose to grandeur, with
their minarets of snow;
Where the booming billows thundered on the
listening ear of night.
And the winds made mournful music round the
rocks of Sombro light:
"Where death's cold and shrouded mantle lurks
In fogs from Labrador.
And the demons of destruction haunt a wild
and dangerous shore:
That brave ship, the old Atlantic, with six
hundred souls'-on board.
Struck and foundered on the ledges where the
billows raged and roared.
Then an awful cry went upwards from those
people tempest tossed.
As they prayed and moaned and muttered, and
shouted: "We are lost!
Is there then no one to help us; must we
perish here and drown?
Must we die in these wild waters" "Wait a
bit," said gallant Brown
Then that fourth mate, now our captain, with
a lite line firmly tied,
-Plunged into those angry billows from that
sinking vessel's side.
How those demon billows thundered as they
clutched his manly form!
How the people cheered and shouted as be bold
ly stemmed the storm!
Never did a Solway swimmer battle with so
tierce a sea:
Never did an ancient Roman do a deed more
brave than he;
Tor this gallant English hero saved three hun
dred souls that night
By bis brave, high-hearted daring off the rocks
of Sombro light.
And to-day in Nova Scotia, in lis largest sea
.Everyone delights to honor Capt. John "At
Larry Chittenden. "Poet Ranchman of
Texas," in Illustrated American,
LOVE IN A SNOWSTORM.
A Puritan Maiden's Experience in
She was a little puritan maiden,
with honest gray eyes and a sweet,
bashful face. Her parents called her
Dorothy; her friends, Dolly. She had
been brought up very strictly, and it
was not without misgivings that her
strait-laced family allowed her to visit
her rich uncle and aunt in London.
But they could not well refuse the in
vitation. Even puritan people know
.how to value their moneyed relatives.
Dolly had been in London only one
short week, and she was bewitched
with everything; she saw. She loved
her uncle and aunt, both of whom dis
played strong affection for her, and in
dulged her in a freedom she had never
tasted before. She was delighted with
the substantial old house, with its
large rooms, big fireplaces and com
fortable furniture. More than all, she
admired London itself. The busy
streets, with their palatial shops; the
colossal buildings St. Paul's, the
Abbey, the houses of parliament, the
broad, quiet squares, which seemed to
have been dropped down at random
among the wilderness of houses; the
gay restaurants and the brilliant, fas
cinating theaters. She particularly
liked it at night, when illumined by
countless lights, whose reflections glit
tered on the pavement; and when the
black darkness of the sky, unaccom
panied by the deathly silence that it
brought in the country, seemed
rather to enhance the noise and bustle
of the prodigal streets. There was
something romantic about t all. It
thrilled her, she knew not why. Her
heart beat faster, her pulses bounded
more quickly; she felt more alive than
she had ever felt before.
There was another source of pleas
ure. Never before had she been
thrown into the company of so en
gaging a young gentleman as her
cousin Tom, the only child of her
uncle and aunt. He was Dolly's senior
by some half-dozen years. Had Dolly's
parents suspected what manner of
voung man he was, they would have
made a special journey to London to
bring their daughter home. Fortu
nately they were ignorant. There
was nothing really bad about the lad.
He had a very good heart, but he
wanted steadying a little. He was ex
actly the sort of dashing, reckless,
free-handed young Englishman that a
handsome, manly fellow becomes
when placed in circumstances of
wealth and freedom. The first time
be saw his cousin Dolly he decided
that she was a very pretty girl, but
shy, and that it would be worth while
to draw her out.
He found it not easy; and that, not
withstanding the fact, had he known
it, that there was in Dolly's heart an
intense willingness to be drawn out
by Cousin Tom. But that shyness of
hers was a formidable barrier. She
could not chatter; the thing was im
possible Her silence had been inbrei
so long that it had become part of her
anatomical structure; and Tom, In
spite of all his conversational talents
and social polish, frequently found
himself reduced by it to a correspond
ing state. On the other hand, if Dolly
Could not speak she could look. She
had extremely eloquent eyes; eyes
that spoke far more than her lips.
Tom soon began to watch those eyes,
and to love them. He no longer at
tempted to make his cousin talk; her
eyes rendered conversation unneces
sary. One afternoon in the first week of
January he sauntered into his mother's
sitting-room, and there discovered
Dolly, sitting, like the historic Miss
Muffit, on a buffet in front of the fire.
Her fingers were busy with some
crochet work. Tom drew a chair to
"Are you yoing out to-night, Dolly?"
She lifted her eyes from her needle.
"Xot Are you sorry?"
"I suppose you're getting rather
tired of it. You've been out pretty
nexrly every night lately, haven't
"Yes. I'm not tired of it, thongh; I
like it. But auntie and I are going to
have a quiet evening to-night, and
I shall like that just as well."
There was a pause.
"Are you sure you will like it just as
"I beg your pardon?" said Dolly.
He moved on his chair. "Well." he
said. "I want you to come out with
me to-night, if you will."
She looked at him in amazement.
"Out with you? Why, where tor
"The theater," he responded.
Pleasure shone in her face. She
gasped with delight. "Oh, you are
kind! But do you think auntie will
"I'll ask her," said naughty Tom. It
was really very wrong of him, for
Dolly's parents would have been scan
dalized at the idea of their daughter
being seen in a theater. However,
they were not there to see. It never
occurred to Dolly that it could be
wrong for her to go after Tom had
proposed it, and so, as Tom's parents
raised no objections, they started in
due course. The only condition im
posed on them (and the sequel proved
it a sound one), was to wrap up well,
which they did.
How Dolly enjoyed the performance
it is unnecessary to relate in detail.
She did enjoy it immensely;' and she
frequently turned to Tom and thanked
him so earnestly for having brought
her that Tom began to feel the ecstasy
that follows virtuous conduct. Her en
joyment robbed her, for the first time,
of her shyness. Her face glowed with
an unusual animation. There was a
color in her cheeks and a sparkle in
her eyes that had not been there be
fore. When a shy maiden does wake
up to animation she is ten times more
dangerously attractive than her viva
cious sisters who sparkle all day long.
Tom thought his cousin's face more
seductively sweet than he had im
agined it could be. He warmed toward
her. He no longer wanted to draw her
out, to flirt with her. He was in love
now, all the way.
They made no haste out of the
theater, with the result that when
they reached the street there was not
an available hansom.
"We'd better walk on a bit," said
Tom. "We shall come to one pres
ently." There had been a heavy fall of snow
during the performance, and the pave
ment of the Strand was all slushy and
"It's rather unpleasant under foot,
Dolly," said Tom. "You'd better take
She did as she was bid, and imme
diately experienced a curious sense of
being owned. It seemed to her that
she belonged to her cousin. While, as
for Tom, the soft touch of those small
gloved fingers on his coat sleeve gave
him more pleasure than all his pre
vious amorous adventures rolled into
When they came to Trafalgar square
Dolly gave a little scream of delight.
"Oh," she cried, "how pretty!"
It was pretty. The whole square
fountains, statues and all, wherever
the snow could find a lodging lay
draped in white. The portions that
were free from snow looked doubly
black by contrast. It was a study in
white, with just a little black to help
it out. Overhead fleecy clouds scudded
rapidly, and a full, bright moon stared
down at the glimmering panorama.
The square was as light as day.
"Oh, how beautiful! I didn't think
London could look so lovely!"
Tom looked at the speaker and
thought her lovelier than the scene
"Yes." he said, with his eyes on her
face, "it is beautiful; very beautiful,
"Oh," said Dolly, "let ns walk home.
We don't want to take a cab on a love
ly nivht like this. 1 wouldn't miss the
walk for the world. It isn't far, real
ly, is it?"
"About a mile," said Tom.
"Only a mile. Oh, that is nothing.
Let us walk.. Shall we?"
"Decidedly, if you wish it. You'd
better take my arm again," for in her
rapturous admiration she had slipped
her haed loose; "the streets are slip
pery." They walked on for three or four
minutes. Suddenly Dolly's foot slipped.
Tom, with remarkable presence of
mind, prevented her from falling by
putting his arm round her waist That
was a new experience for Dolly. It
had never happened before, au rhe
was overcome by the strangeness af it.
She didn't say anything, but she
blushed, and her face looked exquis
itely pretty. 1 don't think Tom was
to be blamed very much for bending
down and kissing it. He should not
have done it, of course; it was wrong;
but the temptation was considerable.
Dolly released herself indignantly,
pushing him from her. They walked a
short distance in awkward silence.
"Dolly, are you angry with me?"
"Dolly" very humbly "I'm awful
ly sorry, but you looked so pretty thai
I couldn't help it"
Still a severe silence.
"Won't you forgive me, Dolly?"
The gray eyes were fixed on the
ground and the pretty lips were
pressed firmly together. He caught
her fingers. She tried to pull tbem
away, but it was useless.
"Won't you forgive me, Dolly?" he
She found her voice at length.
"I wish you wouldn't make me say
things. Of course I forgive you, but
yon oughtn't to have done it."
"I am really very sorry, Dolly," he
Then the snow came down.
There was no mistake about it,
either; it did come down with a ven
geance. The flakes were nearly as
large as a man's hand, and the sky
was full of them.
"Dolly," said Tom, firmly, "you
must take my arm and hold it tightly.
We are going to catch it."
She took his arm, and be hurried her
along as fast as he could. It was no
use. The snow pelted their faces so
severely that in less than two minutes
they were nearly numbed with cold.
"We must find shelter somewhere
till the violence of the storm is spent,"
said Tom. He looked about him for a
convenient doorway. Fortunately
there was one near. He placed Dolly
inside it, so that the snow could not
get to her, and stationed himself at
"Are you cold, Dolly?" he said.
"Xot very, thank you." she replied.
"I? Oh! it doesn't matter about me,
dear. You are the important member
of this small community. Are you
sure you are not cold? Will you have
He commenced to take it off.
"So. indeed!" exclaimed Dolly, pre
venting him. "Do you think I would
take it from you? But it was very
kind of you to offer it very kind! You
are kind to me."
"Kind"" said Tom. warmly. "Who
could help being kind?"
He pressed more closely to her. Out
side the snow was descending heavily.
"Dolly," said Tom, speaking low,
"have you quite forgiven me?"
She smiled, but did not say anything.
His arm stole round her again. She
made no effort to repulse it He
looked at her face. The cold had
turned it a dead white, but it was be
ginning to glow again, and he thought
it had never looked prettier.
"Dolly." he whispered. "I love you."
Her heart bounded. He loved her!
Oh! the blissful thought!
"Dolly," he whispered again, "could
you care for me ever so little?"
"Yes," she murmured.
Their eyes, and then their lips, met.
After that I don't think either of them
minded the cold much.
They were prisoned in that sancti
fied doorway an hour before the snow
abated, and then it took them another
twenty minutes to get home. They
were received with rejoicings.
"We thought you had got lost," said
the master of the house.
Dolly ran straight into her aunt's
arms and burst into a fit of sobbing.
"My poor child!" said the lady, ca
ressing her, "you are overwrought,
and no wonder. Tom, you haven't
taken proper care of her."
"Oh! but he has," said Dolly, smiling
through her tears. "It isn't that"
"She has promised to be my wife!"
The rest isn't worth telling. -X. Y
HE AGREED WITH PLATO.
That Is, the Greek Philosopher Had Many
of Ills Ideas.
The poet Whittier knew a man
wherever he saw him, and, notwith
standing that he numbered the most
distinguished of his fellow country
men, literary men and reformers
among his friends, never lost his relish
for the conversation and society of
nen in the commoner walks of life,
which he recognized as no less vital
He was fond of haunting a grocery
store not far from his hemse in Ames
bury, where, sitting upon a barrel or a
pile of boxes, he listened eagerly to
the talk of his neighbors on the ques
tions of the day and often took part
in the discussions. He used to own
merrily to a decided taste for "loaf
ing" of this kind a kind which surely
was far from being unprofitable in his
He was quick, too, to discover the
intellectual caliber of acquaintances
of unlitcrary habit Talking one day
with au old shoemaker, he was sur
prised to hear the man advance some
of the theories of Plato, of whom, and,
indeed, of all things classic, Whittier
knew him to be entirely ignorant
"Why, friend," he cried, "thee is a
Platonist!" Seeing that he was not un
derstood, he began to explain what he
meant; a follower of the great Plato.
"Who's he?" asked the shoemaker.
Thinking it was a pity he should re
main ignorant of his ancient predeces
sor in opinions nevertheless original,
Mr. Whittier promised to lend him
some of the works of the Greek phil
osopher, and a few days later duly
kept his word. The good man read
them with interest, and returned them
in time to their owner with thanks and
the appreciative comment:
"That Mr. Plato had a good many of
my idees." Youth's Companion.
To Prevent Mistaken.
The lady from Chicago took a great
house in New York, fitting it up with
all the modern conveniences and
luxuries including an English butler.
After he had been with her for a
month she called him up.
"James," she said, severely.
"Yes. milady," he responded.
"You don't d -op your h's, I notice,
when yon talk."
"I cawn't, milady; I'm an educated
"Well, you've got to; that's one of
the things I pay you for. How are
these New York people to know you
are not a gentleman, if you don't?"
Detroit Free Press.
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.
In the public schools of France 24. J
per cent of the pupils are shot tsight
ed, of Germany 35 per cent , and
of the United Kingdom 20 per cent
Lack of exercise seems the chief cause.
A small hospital of some t wenty oi
more beds has just been opened in
Edinburgh to provide means of med
ical instruction and training in nurs
ing for those who are to become deacon
esses in connection with the church oi
According oto anFreneh newspa
per, there are in the French academy
three Protestants, Victor Cherbuliez,
Leon Say and M. de Freycinet; one
freethinker, Alexander Dumas; one
atheist, M. Challemel Laconr, while
nearly everyone of the rest is a nom
Rev. Kevork Ardzrouni, who was
ordained an Armenian priest in Sep
tember, 1S33, and whose influence in
the Armenian church in Constantino
ple has been thorough for many years,
died lately at the age of 107 years. His
last sermon was preached Easter, 1392,
when he was carried into the church in
Since the death of Dr. Holmes there
are only four surviving members of the
class of 1829 of Harvard, namely, Dr.
Edward L Cunningham, of Xeport,
R. I.; Rev. Samuel May (the cUss sec
retary), of Leicester; Rev. Samuel F.
Smith, of Newton, the autL-or of
"America;" and Charles S. Storrow, of
The Presbyterian hoard ot home
missions reports receipts from April
1st to November 30th of 5375,049, an in
crease over the amount for the pre
ceding year of $102,041. The gain is
506,930 in legacies, $:!8,828 in the wom
en's committee. $1,830 miscellaneous.
There was a falling off in the receipts
from churches of $5,549.
One of the best private schools in
Paris, the Ecole Monge, has just been
bought by the government for a mil
lion dollars. The school was estab
lished by private individuals in compe
tition with the state lycees, and held
its own in scholarship in the public
examination, its mathematical and
scientific training being especially
good. It was in financial difficulties,
however, and must have closed had
not the state intervened.
The great wealth, either of the
Mormon church or of the individuals
at its head, has been again demon
strated by the recent investment of
510.000,000 by the "First Presidency"
in a new corporation called the Utah
company. This new company is to
operate coal mines, a railroad, a bath
ing beach and pleasure resort at the
great Salt Lake, and build, equip and
operate telegraph and telephone lines.
This is purely a church scheme, in
which gentiles have no part, and is,
like the Zion Co-operative Co., to be
managed to add to the wealth of the
IN A LITTLE GIRL'S ROOM.
tiuggestions for Making a Fit Setting for
the Small Daughter.
If your little daughter is about to
move from the nursery into a room of
her own here are a few suggestions as
to its furniture:
Have a dotted S.viss curtain at the
window tied back with -forget-me-not
blue ribbons. Let the little bedstead
be painted with white enamel and
draped with a canopy of white Swiss,
though which a blue silk lining should
show. The bureau, which should cor
respond in size to the bed, should also
be white, and, if one's bank account
will allow it, decorated in silver.
The latest washstand for a child's
room is of willow, painted in white,
with a deep hollow in the center
to hold the dainty bowl am',
pitcher. In this room all the appoint
ments of the washstand should be of
white china, strewn with forget-me-nots.
In the corner of the room nave
a baby divan covered with light blue
chintz and banked with white linen
covered pillows, ornamented with a
blue silk frill. A little willow locking
chair is another requirement. It
should be painted in white and have
the seat cushioned in light blue plush.
Cover the walls with a paper which
looks like a pompadour silk. It may
be cream white in color striped with
lines of forget-me-nots. Have p.'enty
of pictures on the walls, and a capet
of blue felt on the floor, half covered
by rugs, and the small girl who owns
this apartment can not fail to be hap
py. X. Y. World.
Other Peoples Ilread.
In dreary Kamchatka, the pine or
oirch bark by itself, well macerated,
pounded, and baked, frequently consti
tutes the whole of the native bread
food. Bread and butter to a young
Kamchatkian is represented by dough
of pine bark spread with seal fat not
a very appetizing combination to En
glish notions. And not only the bark
of the pine is thus utilized for food;
the dwellers in certain parts of Siberia
cut off the young and tender shoots,
and grind them down to form their
floor. One imagines that the bread
thereform must have an unpleasantly
resinous flavor. In Iceland even the
hardy pine is wanting, but the Ice
lander declares "that a bountiful
Providence sends him bread out of the
very stones." He scrapes a lichen
the' Iceland moss off the rocks, and
grinds it into fine flour, which serves
him both for bread and puddings, and
also as a thickening for his broth.
Thus, truly, has stern experience
taught him to live where most would
starve. Chambers' Journal.
A Comforting Anonnra.
"D'ye know," said Plot'ding Pete,
"I'm gittiu' oneasw about myself? I'm
gittic' skeart fur fear th". way I fills
the flowin' termater can'll ruin me
prospeeks. Am I whut ye'd regard ez
a hard drinker?"
Meandering Mike looked at him con
temptuously and answered : "Xaw."
" "Course it's honest. A man couldn't
bfo furder from a hard drinker'n you
are. Ye're de easiest drinker I ever
saw in my life," Washington Star.
SHE LIVED TO BURY THEM ALL.
tut Chany's Retort Upon the "Klslng
Sisters of the Setting Sun."
Just after the war there sprung up
as by magic in various portions of the
south an infinite number of "societies"
among the colored people, male and
Nothing like them was seen before
upon the face of the earth, while their
names were as incongruous as their ob
jects and aims. Thus there were
"Weeping Sisters of the Glad Tidings."
"Holy Daughters of the Socrei Perdi
tion," "Immaculate Sons of the Nine
Cities," "Daughters of the Sacred
Candlestick," and so on.
The negro who didenot belong to one
or more of these organizations was a
social pariah; the very -children would
curl up their lips at him or her in pass
ing. Whatever the occult forms and pur
poses of these various societies, all of
them had one public and avowed ob
ject namely, the turning out in full
regalia collars, aprons, or uniforms
at the bnrial of any broth er or sister;
not only the particular organization of
which the deceased was a member, but
also all the others participating with
infinite pomp and pride of circum
stance. It was surprising how many deaths
they contrived to eke out in a single
small commnnity. Ladies were driven
half distracted over the repeated leaves
of absence taken by their cooks, laun
dresses, and maids, because no amount
of bribery and no necessity of illness
could induce one to forego the enjoy
ment of a street parade.
The mania prevailed with equal po
tential energy among the sterner sex,
the members of which deserted the
plow, the shop, any and all employ
ments, with this object before them.
Possibly the annoyances that grew
out of this practice give rise to rumors
which were heard in some localities,
that the all-prevailing desire for more
funerals caused the providing of subjects,-in
the persons of certain old peo
ple who did contrive to die very sud
denly. It is certain that some ancient col
ored dames showed a remarkable anx
iety to "go off" before the societies
should expire by limitation or exhaus
tion. This was the case with old Aunt
Chany Pegwell, an octogenarian dame
of Elizabeth City. N. C, who was a
member of the "Rising Daughters of
the Setting Sun."
Aunt Chaney had been an honored
member of the society for nearly two
years, in all of which time she had not
failed once of "toting" herself in the
procession in full regalia, from the
house of the decased person tc
the church and thence to the
cemetery a mile or so away.
She had paid her dues regularly
and enjoyed a thousand times, in an
ticipation, the triumphs of her own
funeral, when she would have, as she
explained it, "a big black huss 'n'
plooms wid white bosses, jest lack de
white folkses 'n' all de niggers er
Some disaffection had finally sprung
up in the order, when several sisters
withdrew. Fearing disintegration.
Aunt Chany took to her bed and soon
worried herself into an illness that
was pronounced mortal by the physi
cian who was summoned.
Chany expressed her satisfaction at
this decision, bade those present good
by, and turned her face to the wall to
die. She was silent so long that the
two sisters who had been delegated to
watch over her while living and lay
her out when dead, agreeably to the
practice of the "Rising Daughters of
the Setting Sun," supposed her spirit
had taken flight, and therefore laid
aside all reserve.
"De s'ci'ty's gittin' so 'scusin' po' dat
Sist' Kizzy 'clar's we's jis gotter chop
off 'xpense. So, bein's Ain' Chany's so
ol' 'n' no count "
Here there was a movement in the
bed, but the two sisters, whose backs
were turned and who were greatly in
tent upon their gossip, did not hear it
"Yaas," broke out the other sister,
"dat's right. Us kin tote her out in er
common cart 'n' th'ee sisters go out
wid it fer de looks. Real ol' folks lack
her shouldn't 'xpec' no turnin' out, no
ways." "Watter yer say? No turnin' out, n
no huss? Den I haint er gwine ter die.
yer sorry sarpints."
Whack, whack came Aunt Chany's
big walking stick upon the back of
first one and then the other of the as
tonished sisters, who fled the room in
Nor did she die either, but lived
twenty years longer, or until she was
a full one hundred, having the pleas
ure of attending the burial of the last
one of the sisters before her own fina?
call. Chicago Tribune.
Too Many Funerals.
A gentleman whose summer home is
in Vermont brought back to Boston
last fall a man servant from the coun
try who had never before been in Bos
ton. The sights and scenes in a big
city impressed him peculiarly. The
other day he went to his employer and
"Mr. H , I shall have to go back
"Wby.Tom, have you not been treat
ed kindly here?"
"Oh. yes, the treatment is all right,
but then I'm afraid of my health."
"How is that?"
"Why, you see, Mr. H , I saw four
funerals going past your house to-day
and I guess Boston is a plaguy un
healthy sort of a town." Boston Jour
nal. Sambo Pleads Innocent.
Dorking Sambo. I suspect that yon
know what became of my chickens last
Sambo Dat's where's you's wrong.
1 can prove an alibi. I done had goose
fo' supper las' night X. Y. Herald.
Camlet was first made in England
.luring the reign of Eliza beta. It was
so called not, as sons suppose, from its
being made of camel's hair, but from
River Camlet, in Montgomeryshire, on
which the first factory was located.
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.
Henry Somerset, the son (of Lady
Henry Somerset, will devote his spar
time while wintering at Boston to com
pleting his book, sin which he will
describe his recent explorations in the
Hudson bay territories.
William Cullen Bryant began tc
write verse when he was only ten years
old. At that tender age he received a
nine-penny coin from his grandfathei
for a rhymed version of the first
chapter of the book of Job.
Grandin, the pedestrian and Paris
ian journalist, who last year went on
foot from New York to Chicago, has
for the last four months been tramping
over Algeria, Tunis and the extreme
south of the Barbary states.
Miss Dora Reade Goodale, the poet
of the Berkshire hills, whose sister
Elaine married Dr. Eastman, a Dakota
Indian, a few years ago, is engaged tc
be married to Prof. Thomas San ford,
of the University of California.
In the valedictory of the Newark
(X. J.) Morning Times, which suspend
ed recently, Thomas C. Barr observes
that all he has to show for his invest
ment of $200,000 are copies of the first
and last issues, which he will preserve
Kipling, Barrie, Jerome, Howells.
Stockton. Stedman, Mark Twain, Bret
Harte, Boyesen, Saltus, are none ol
them above medium height, and sev
eral of them are actually diminutive.
Marion Crawford and Conan Doyle are
tall, athletic-looking men, but they
are the exceptions that prove the rule.
Thomas Foster, who has just been
sentenced at London to three years'
penal servitude for a number of petty
frauds, was the originator of the "miss
ing word" craze, of which newspapers
all over the country some time ago
availed themselves to boom circulation.
He has been living on his wits foi
Paintings and designs by Bart ram
Hiles, an armless artist, are now on
exhibition in London. Mr. Hiles lost
his arms, close to the shoulder, when
a child, by being run over by a horse
car, and is obliged to paint holding
the brush between his lips. He won,
nevertheless, in open competition, the
national scholarship of five hundred
dollars a year at south Kensington, and
at the same time obtained a first prize
for modeling in clay. He paints land
scape. Rubinstein had probably traveled
more than any other virtuoso. In his
time he made many fortunes, and gave
them away to the poor in Russia. Dur
ing the famine which raged among the
Russian peasants a few years ago, he
journeyed to Vienna, Moscow and St
Petersburg to play for charity. The
price of seats rose to unheard-of fig
ures, but every penny of the money
went to the starving farmers. It is
said that in the course of twenty-eight
years the sum which he thus disposed
of amounted to $2."0,000.
The former teacher of the present
czarina says that she was brought up
almost entirely as an English girl, de
spite her German birth. The family
spoke English exclusively, their plays
were English and the governess of the
princess was English. Her German is
consequently spoken with a foreign ac
cent The teacher thinks the princess
will make an excellent wife for the
czar, and one who will never bother
herself about politics. She has no in
terest, he says, in politics, and was not
educated to have any interest in it
She was brought up, in fact, as the
daughter of a family of the middle
Very Appropriate. Quite appro
priately, "green goods" are sold chiefly
to green men. Somerville (Mass.)
"I can not live without you."
The love-lorn suitor sished: '
"And I could not live with you,"
The wealthy maid replied.
Little Boy "How old are yon?
Miss Antique (confusedly) "Yoa
should not ask a lady how old she is."
Little Boy "Oh, 'xcuse me. How
young are you?" Good Xews.
Imprisoned Crusader (to jailer)
"Bring hither achafing dish, O caitiff.
Jailer (humbly) "What for, yonr wor
shipful honor?" Imprisoned Crusader
(proudly) "I wish to chafe in my
miserable captivity." X. Y. Herald.
Actress (angrily) "Did you write
that criticism which said my imper
sonation of 'The Abandoned Wife' was
a miserable failure?" Critic "Ye
y-e-s; you see, you looked so irresisti
bly beautiful that it was impossible to
fancy that any man could abandon
you." Hartford Times.
What She Could Not Forgive.
"Forgive me," he pleaded, contritely.
"I didn't mean to kiss you. but the im
pulse was irresistible." "Forgive you,"
she snapped. "Never while I live! A
girl may forgive a man for kissing her,
but never for apologizing afterward."
"I don't believe in opposing the
preferences of a son in the matter of
choosing a profession." said an in
dulgent father. "Xor I," said another
father. "Has your son chosen his pro
fession?" "Well, in a way." "What
is it?" "Why, he was stage-struck, and
insisted that he was 'born for the
boards,' as he expressed it; and so I ap
prenticed him to a carpenter!" Youth't
"I wonder." said the sentimental
boarderess, "if the little birds make
any plans for their homes in the
spring." "Of course they do," said the
cheerful idiot "Don't they have to
make a nest to mate?" The custard
pie that the astonished waiter girl let
drop to the floor at this juncture fell
on its soft side and, consequently, was
deducted from her week's wages. In
A small boy was at a table where
hi mother was not near to take car
of him, and a lady next to him volun
teered her services. "Let me cut your
steak for you. if I can cut it the
way you like it," she said, with
some degree of doubt "Thank yon,"
the boy responded, accepting her cour
tesy; "I shall like it the way yon ct
it, evtn if you do rot cut it the way I
like it" San Francisco Argonaut.