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The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, July 10, 1897, Image 7

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Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn89066818/1897-07-10/ed-1/seq-7/

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THE DEMOCRAT.
B. H. ADAMS, PHUs!,-
CAPS GIRARDEAU. - MISSOURI.
MY GREAT-GREAT-GRANDSIRE.
My reet-prreat-Krandsire tilled the soil
And felled tall pines on slope and hill.
His homespun garments but the foil
That swathed a man of iron will.
-And yet when winter's race was run.
And came the springtime's first caress,
3iia nature warmed before the sun
And melted into tenderness.
-He knew the fields, he knew the woods.
For nature was his guiding star,
-And sermons found in solitudes
Where only nature's teachings are.
"He marked the gentian of the brooks
And paused where honeysuckles hung,
-And rested where In wildest nooks
The lone arbutus trailing clung,
"Where towered up the bristling head
Of some colossus of the pines,
Xike a great stag with antlers spread
The monarch of a thousand tines.
And with his rod or flintlock gun
He whipped the pools or led the chase.
"Tracked the black bear till set of sun
And slew him In his hiding place.
And thus he lived an outdoor life
With sight of flower and bird and bee,
With yoke of oxen, and a wife
With children playing at her knee.
A murrain on your eoats-of-arms
He did his best, as mortal can.
Wrung a rough living from the farms
And lived and died an honest man.
Ernest McGaffey, in N. T. Truth.
BY SYDflHV SEID.
7' ES," said the warden, "women
Y are strange creatures. I could
tell you many queer things that hap
pened through them right in this old
prison. You never heard of the duchess
who came every day to bring flowers to
Siechi, the Polish murderer? She would
sit and cry an hour with him each time.
He was a little, dark man, with a little
goat face and goat beard. He used to
spend an hour before the glass getting
ready for the duchess. Why did she
come? Oh, sympathy gone mad. Did
you never see an engaged young couple
lavishing maudlin sympathy on each
other. Well, there are women who are
in that state of mind all their lives. It
is necessary for them to have hyster
ics once a day, and they go to see a per
son who is or ought to be, suffering,
to gratify their craving for emotional
intoxication.
"But it was not about the duchess I
was going to tell you, though ; but about
a young woman who sat in that very
chair where you are sitting now one
afternoon not more than ten years ago.
She was a handsome and very digni
fied young woman, and she told as Gos
pel truth the oddest story I ever heard.
"When she first entered she had asked
me if I knew that I had under my care
Count De Lome, a peer of France. I
looked at her a few minutes, but she
was earrnest and calm. I replied that
I was not aware that we hud any such
distinguished guest.
" 'That is his sensitiveness and mod
esty,' she exclaimed. 'He would rather
die than expose his family.
" 'What is his offense?'
" 'He is charged with burglary, but
it is all a dreadful, dreadful mistake, of
which only he and I know the explana
tion.'
" 'Describe his appearance.
" 'He is of medium height, ha3 very
lark, curling hair, bCack eyes and heavy
Hack mustache.
"I knew the man at once as 'Hand
some Charley, who had come to New
York from Chicago, leaving a streak of
crime stretching out behind him like
the tail of a comet. I told the young
woman that I knew the man.
" I am afraid that you are prejudiced
Against him,' she caid; 'but, oh, War
den, if you could only hear his story
as I have heard it, your sympathy
would go out to him as the most unfor
tunate of men. It is impossible for
anyone to look in his eyes and disbelieve
Jum
" 'Yes? I asked, and then, after a
pause, 'May I inquire what is your
name, madam, ana wny you are so in
terested in the prisoner?'
"The name she gave me was that
fcorne by one of the oldest and wealth
iest families in the state. 'I am a wom
an of property,' she said, 'living in Tar-
rytown. I am interested in this poor
.young man, because I know his sad
tory; how he has been victimized;
how he has struggled and how an irre
sistible power has dragged him down.
'Do you know that he was caught in
the very commission of this last crime ?'
" 'I know that so appeared.'
" But the circumstantial evidence
was positive. He was caught iu the
dining-room of a mansion in Madison
avenue with a heap of plunder about
tim and a bag into which he was pul
ling it.'
" "That is the saddest part of his
trials. Even to fair, unbiased minds
he must always appear guilty. I my
elf thought him guilty when I iirst
looked upon him two years ago in the
kitchen of my own Louse, where the
coachman and butler who had captured
him were holding him down. I had
been awakened by a terrible commo
tion and had hastened downstairs to
And my servants holding the stranger,
who, they said, was a burglar. Every
thing seemed to indicate that their con
clusion was correct. A window had
been forced, and the stranger had be
fore him a bag filled with plate and
jewelry gathered from all over the
bouse. When he saw me he immediate
ly spoke:
" 'Madam, he said, 1 appeal to you
not to decide too hastily. I am a gen
tleman and not a robber, but am the
victim of the strangest and most cruel
fatality that ever persecuted a mortal.
Could I but encage your kind attention
for a few minute I would, I am sure,
be able to persuade you that instead
reprobation I deserve the deepest und
sincerest sympathy and the pity of
etery true Christian of whom I per
ceive you are one.
" I was greatly afraid of the man at
first, as a young lady naturally would
be, but his quiet tone and the deep,
melancholy, truthful expression of his
eyes produced in me a longing to bear
his story. I therefore directed the but
ler to loosen him and let him sit in a
chair. This the servants were very un
willing to do, insisting that the man
should be immediately turned over to
the police. However, when they saw I
was in earnest they let their prisoner
rise:
" 'Madam!' he said, 'strange as it may
seem, the purest and best actions of my
life are those which have brought me to
this terrible pass. In the unfortunate
being who is now "before you surround
ed by hideous circumstances the world
would never recognize Count Hubert
De Lome, inheritor of one of the great
est names and descendants of one of the
proudest families of France. Yet such
is my title and my family. Pray par
don me for showing emotion.
" At the outbreak of the late war be
tween France and Germany I was a lieu
tenant of infantry, not yet arrived in my
twentieth year. The purest fires of pa
triotism burned in my heart, and in the
battles where we were engaged I was
remarked for the heroic manner in
which I exposed myself. I passed scath
less through storms of lead, which dealt
death on every side, and escaped with
out the least injury till the battle of
Gravelotte, where a round shot mu
tilated both my legs and a rifle bullet
destroyed my right arm.
" 'When I awoke, after the battle, I
was in the German field hospital with a
bevy of the cleverest surgeons in Europe
about me. I soon found that I was the
center of attraction as the most exten
sive case of limb grafting in the annals
of surgery. They had found a dead man
of my proportions on the field of battle,
and from him they had transferred to
me a right arm and two legs, and they
were watching with deep interest the
experiment of their growth.
" 'For two weeks the result was doubt
ful, but at last science and nature tri
umphed over all obstacles, and it be
came evident that I was going to be able
to use the grafted limbs as well as I
ever used my own.
' 'By the time I could stand, the war
was over, and I returned to my home in
Brittany, to recover amid rural scenes
from the rude shocks I had received.
Here, as I grew stronger, a strange and
awful thing happened. I found that my
grafted limbs had a will of their own,
and that that will was evil. Legs that
could hardly be persuaded to move in
the daytime, beeame at night restless
and tireless as those of a predaceous
animal. Many a time I awoke at mid
night to find myself being carried
abroad. Many a time my relatives,
hearing my cries, have rushed to my
room and found me clingingto the bed
by means of my jaws and my left hand,
while my right hand and both legs were
struggling to carry me off.
" 'I always resisted to the utmost, be
cause I knew from certain intimations
what the upshot of these midnight ex
cursions proposed by my limbs would
be theft, odious, horrible, vulgar not
the romantic theft of the bold highway
man, but the low and brutal pilfering
of the ToHrglor and sneak thief. Theft
by myself in spite of myself.
"'You can easily imagine, dear lady,
that my discovery caused me the keen
est anguish. The cruelist thing of all
was that I must suffer in silence. Who
would believe my story? So skillfully
had the operations on my mind been
performed that there was no sear to be
seeu, and, even were I able to prove that
the limbs I used were grafted, how
could I satisfy anyone that they had
retained their individuality and were
seeking to roake of me an accomplice
in these nefarious undertakings?
" 'The constant struggle in which I
was engaged gave me a wild and hag
gard look. I became the victim of ner
vousness and melancholy, and the peo
ple of my estate began to avoid me.
When I came upon the road, riding or
walking, those whom I met whispered
and drew aside. They knew that I had
given my servants orders to watch me
at night and restrain me by force if
I sought to go out. They therefore
looked on me as a madman or at least
a man with a mystery.
"'This feeling was not confined to
the peasants; my equals also possessed
it, and I could see by their averted
looks, their silence when I approached
them, that I was feared, if not dis
liked.
" 'One only remained true to her
childhood's beliefs and memories, but
that was the one whom, above all
others, I desired to please Louise,
daughter of Marquis De Campazany,
whose estates adjoined my own.
" 'Even to her I dared not explain,
yet her love and sympathy were mine
through all and in spite of all.
" 'The only human being who knew
my secret was the chief of the Ger
man surgeons, who performed the
grafting operations. I sought him out
and called him to my side for con
sultation. His advice to me was to
wait with patience. "My friend, he
said, "I ask you to wait not only for
your own sake but for the sake of sci
ence. I could rid you of your troubles
now by taking off the limbs above the
grafts, but that would leave you a
helpless wreck again. It might be that
other grafting operations would suc
ceed as well as these have done, and
you thereby become possessed of limbs
which have good habits. But that such
would be the case no one has assurance.
Besides, my friend, what a loss to
science that it should be' debarred
from witnessing this struggle; this
survival of habit; this proof of men
tality in limbs; this evidence of the
permanence of impressions made by
the governing brain of muscles."
'Must I always be at war with my
self? I inquired. "So,' the surgeca
said, as time wcut on the struggle
of the limbs to bear me away on pre
daceous errands would become weak
er and weaker. "The physical struc
ture of man," continued the surgeon,
"is renewed every seven years. There
fore, in seven years from now, if you
have patience, the legs of the dead
man which we grafted on you will
have entirely disappeared; the limbs
that will have replaced them will be
entirely your own, subject to your will
and permeated by your own mental
impressions."
" Thus, in an evil hour I was in
duced to continue the lamentable as
sociations. Oh, Louise! Louise! Fair
saint in Heaven, thy young life was
sacrificed to my folly!
" 'Here!' said the lady, the stranger
was compelled by his emotion to pause.
He covered his face, and there was no
sound but that made by his choking
sobs.
" 'Pardon me, lady! he resumed, re
gaining his self-control. 'I can never
think of that fatal night without weak
ly giving way to unavailing tears. For
her I had lived and hoped. There was
no dream of my future in which she was
not the central figure, and yet it was I
I who caused her death. No, not I
no never! But the hideously wicked
grafted limbs.
" I swear that I knew nothing of the
events of that night till I was awakened
by the sound of voices and the flashing
of lights. I found myself standing in
the chateau of Campazany. It was the
dining-room. There was a black mask
on my face and a bag of plunder at my
side. I knew well what it meant. The
lights and voices were approaching. It
was the marquis and his servants ap
proaching. Desperately I rushed to the
windows. They were securely fastened.
I must have entered elsewhere. I turned
to dash through the door opposite to
that by which the marquis and the
others were entering. They saw me and
pistols were leveled. I saw a white
figure spring between me any my pur
suers. I heard a voice cry "Henri!
Henri! It is you but you ore innocent!
Pistol shots rang out; there was a wild
shriek, and,' looking backward, I saw
my love lying dead dead dead, her
fair hair dabbling in her blood. With
the laugh of d maniac, I fled away
through the darkness.
" 'What happened in the years that
followed I know not. I was dominated
by one impulse to fly from the scene
of horror which was always in my mem
ory. What I did, how I lived, I have no
knowledge. Quite probably my limbs
took advantage of my mental infirmity
to involve me in the crimes for which
they thirsted. Quite probably a large
part of the time which is a blank to me
was spent in prison. I know not. At
length my mind began to assert itself
again. I was no longer dazed; sanity
had returned.
" I found that I was living in Ameri
ca, in the city of Chicago, the inhabi
tant of a room in a low tenement house;
an ex-convict, a man whom the police
feared and watched; whom the crim
inals admired. Dreadful awakening,
with what terror did I realize my posi
tion! Thinking to escape I came here
to New York, but, as you see, the evil
influence still continues. In an un
guarded moment, I have been abducted
from my home and borne here to pose
before you as a criminal and a wretch.
Lady, this is more than I can bear.
" 'Again the stranger shed tears. I
looked upon him with the deepest pity.
His tears, his youthful beauty, his frank
speech, all convinced me of the absolute
truth of his narrative, which, though
surprising in some respects, was not
more so than some tales which juries
accept as truth.
" 'I believe you,' I said; 'not only do I
believe you, but I will make others be
lieve you. You have but two more years
in which the evil grafted upon j'ou can
continue. Go free to-night. Strive on
against misfortune, and if in an ex
tremity you need a friend, call npor
me.'
" 'The noble face of the count was il
luminated with thankfulness. Heaping
blessings upon my head, he departed
and I saw him not again nor heard of
hira till I received a letter telling me
that he was in prison here and derired
to see me.
" Ah! said I, you wish to sec him?
14 'I do, indeed; I desire to comfort
and strengthen him, and, above all,
to give him this pie. The seven years
of evil domination are almost over, the
wicked individuality of the grafted
limbs has gone, and with it the
strength. The count, above all things,
now needs building up. In a few days
I will tell his story to the press, to the
governor. I will get him released and
will send him back to his estate in
France as happy as a man with such a
history can be.'
"So saying, she produced from a par
cel she carried a huge pie.
"Well, it was a little irregular, to ba
sure, but the appearance of the lady
and her simplicity were too much for
me and I passed it in. Then she had
five minutes' conversation with Hand
some Charley in my presence, and went
away looking satisfied, while I sat
back in my chair and laughed to think
how easy it is to pull the wool over a
woman's eyes.
The warden rose, knocked the ashes
out of his pipe and picked up his huge
bunch of keys.
"But the sequel, warden! I cried,
"Wasn't there any sequel?"
"Sequel? Yes, certainly there was a
sequel," said the warden, turning to
trudge off. "Next morning we found a
big hole through the wall of Handsome
Charley's cell. He got away sad I never
heard of him since, or the Tarrytown
young woman either, though we
searched enough. That pie must ha. e
contained a blacksmith's shop."
Off stumped the warden, rattling his
keys, his rugged face settled again into
gravity and gruffness, and I sat still
and laughed till the tears came in my
eyes to think how the clever sex bad
cored again. N. Y. Ledger.
A TEXAS COMEDY.
Which Baa Some Indications of a
Trasredy.
Mrs. Tabitha Jones lifted high her
Connecticut nose, breathed deeply the
balmy air of south Texas, and listened.
From the kitchen region, through the
open window, came distinctly these
words: "Now git down dar on dem
coals, you debble, an' stay dar."
Mrs. Tabitha's Puritan blood was
aroused. "Hit's all erlong ob you- ef
dinna's late, but I speck I don fix you
now, you raskih" Had the black wom
an, in a fit of passion and earned away
by atavistic savagery and cannibalism,
sacrificed her own offspring? And Mrs.
Tabitha's mind reverted to Aunt Cyn
thia's small woolly prototype, which
two days before had arrived along with
Aunt Cynthia's clothes and other ef
fects. Her sympathies had halted at
this little creature when she saw it
deposited on her kitchen floor, but now
its humanity called to her.
With trembling courage she stepped
quicklv and softly to the kitchen and
slowly advanced her head beyond the
edge of the open door. The smell of
burning flesh filled her nostrils. At
the front of the stove stood Aunt
Cynthia; inherhand, lifted threatening
ly was a large flesh fork; on her lips this
final taunt: "Now I 'speck you gwine
te behave yo'sef!" and she jabbed vig
orously at something hidden from Mrs.
Tabitha by the stove.
Looking up, the negress caught sight
of the pale, rigid face projected just
beyond the jam of the door. She ut
tered a loud scream, dropped the fork,
and half fell against the kitchen table.
An ashen hue settled over her dark face
as she gazed at the apparently dissev
ered head, and it was not until Mrs.
Tabitha finally presented her full figure
at the doorway that Aunt Cynthia was
able to speak.
"What done happen in de house. Miss
Bithy? Is you seen a ghostie?" 'she
gasped. Making a great effort to effi
ciently oppose her civilization to the
barbarism confronting her, Mrs. Ta
bitha said, in a quavering voice: "Cyn
thia, I know what you have done, and
you'd ought not to done it."
Aunt Cynthia began to recover.
"Lo'd Gowd, Miss Bithy, what's 1
done?"
"Where is your baby?" solemnly.
"Pomp? He's asleep dey ain't nuf
fin hu't bim, his it?" and with sudden
fright the negress hurried to an ad
joining room, almost immediately re
turning with a small bundle of black
and white half asleep, but intact.
"How you done skeer me, Miss Bithy!"
A faint color began to show on Mrs.
Tabitha's cheeks. Crossing the kitchen,
she walked around to the front of the
stove. "Where'd you get that chicken?"
she asked, severely, pointing to the
half-cooked fowl on the broiler.
' seen dat chicken walkin roun' like
he's los', Miss Bithy, so I dess ketch
him an' cook him fur dinna," and she
continued to npostrophize the guilty
bird while she shook down fresh coals.
With her other arm she tenderly sup
ported the baby against her shoulder.
N. Y. Journal.
HOW NOT TO NURSE.
The Vigorous Ontbnrst of a Victim
ised Patient.
Helen Hunt Jackson, in a letter to
her physician, describes a stupid nurse
as follows:
Can I endure the presence of this
surly, aimless cow another day? No!
Why?
She has less faculty than any human
being I ever undertook to direct in
small matters.
When I ask her to bring me anything,
she rises slowly with a movement like
nothing I ever saw in my life, unless it
be a derrick.
She sighs and drops her under jaw
after every exertion.
She "sets" with a ponderous inertia
which produces on me the most remark
able effect. I have a morbid impulse
to fling my shoes at her head and see
what would come of it.
She asks me in dismal tones if I am
well in other ways besides my throat,
conve3-ing the impression by her slow,
rolling eyes that I look to her like a
bundle of unfathonable diseases.
She takes the tray out of a trunk to
get some article at the bottom (where
articles always are), and having given
me the article asks helplessly if she
shall put the tray back again. (Happy
thought.) Next time I'll tell her: "No,
we keep the trays in piles on the floor."
Is this Christian? No, for she is
well-meaning and wishes to do aright,
and I don't doubt every glance of my
eye sends a thrill of inexplainable dis
comfort through her.
But as a professional nurse she is the
biggest joke I ever saw. Every Where.
Flannel in Summer.
It is a mistake to abandon the wear
jig of flannels in summer, sonsidering
the sudden changes of our climate the
erratic conditions of the atmosphere
which sometimes gives us a July duy
colder and more bleak than one in Jan
uary. A good way to wash ordinary
flannel is to pour strong, boiling soap
suds over it in a tub. When cool
enough to allow the hand to bear it,
pour off the suds and odd boiling hot
clean water; let this stand as before,
then pour off and add more boiling
clean water. When cool enough, squeeze
the garments, but do not wring or rub.
Stretch immediately on a line in the
hot sun or by a hot fire, pressing out the
water with the hand, as it settles in the
dependent parts of the garments.
Stretch the flannel as soon as the water
is pressed out. keeping it hot until dry,
as much as possible. This treatment
will keep woolen garments soft and
tliable till worn out. Housewife.
Keg-roea Loalno- Valne.
Northerner If the negroes do not
prosper in freedom, how do you explain
the fact that their average wealth now
is $300 apiece?
Southerner Three hundred dollahs!
What's that? Why, befoh the wah they
couldn't have been bought, fob. $600
piece. No, aahtN. Y. Weekly.
OUTSIDE CLEANING.
A Work That Is Too Often Neglected:
hjr Honsekeenera.
The lost parts of a house to be cleaned
ire the piazza and the various portions
of the base which are spattered with
mud stains after the winter snows and
spring rains- This is a work which
many housekeepers neglect or relegate
to the outside workers. In a small
house, where the immediate premises
of the house, as well as the inside, are
under the care of the housekeeper, this
is certainly a part of the houseclenning.
If all parts of the woodwork of the
piazzas and the base of a house, as far
as it is splashed with mud, be carefully
cleaned it adds a great deal to its neat
appearance. It is not often necessary
to do this work more than twice a year,
at the season of the semi-annual clean
ings. A good stepladder is necessary
for this work, one of the light-handled
ceiling brooms used to sweep ceilings,
and other brushes. Brush the ceiling
of the piazzas, thoroughly removing all
cobwebs and dust. Dust the openwork
cornice and the balustrade and wipe
them off with a damp cloth. Brush off
the side of the house, the window casing
and the blinds included in the piazza in
clear, cold water, unless the blinds have
been already washed and wiped with
the other blinds when the inside of the
house was cleaned. Sometimes the dark
woodwork of the piazzas may be im
proved by rubbing thoroughly with a
mixture of two parts pure and raw lin
seed oil and one part turpentine. This
removes the gray look which in time
dark paint often assumes. The oil must
be thoroughly rubbed in with a firm cot
ton cloth, if it is used. The base of the
piazza and house above the stonework
should be thoroughly brushed with a
stiff broom, and then dusted. Brush
the stonework of the foundation also.
See that the sod grows close to the
house to keep the foundations from be
ing muddy. A foot or more of clean
gravel is sometimes placed next the
foundations of a house to prevent them
being splashed. It is a better protec
tion than the thickest sod if coarse peb
bles are used. Where there is no such
protection, every rain spatters the
house more or less, and no care can
keep it neat. After thoroughly dusting
the base of the piazza and house take a
pail of cold water and a stiff whisk
brush and scrub over its surface, using
a soft cloth to dry it as fast as it is
washed. Change the water as often as
it becomes too sandy to use. and con
tinue the work until it is done. The
base of a house should always be paint
ed a rather dark color, not a light shade,
as so many houses are. A light base is
not only more easily soiled and requires
more care to keep in order, but it gives
the house a weak look, inconsistent
with the dignified, substantial appear
ance which a dwelling house should
have. N. Y. Tribune.
HOUSEHOLD BITS
Odd Items of Information on Matters
Domestic.
A medical journal inveighs against
rockinc warning its adherents that
the soothing feeling which it superin
duces is really a mild congestion of the
brain. This, it is cited, is as applicable
to the woman's rocking chair as to the
baby's cradle.
At the silversmith's are to be found
oblong, flat silver trays, trays that are
to hold the blocks of ice which serve for
any one of several dinner or luncheon
courses.
Englishwomen complain when they
come over here that they never get a
cup of hot tea. This will not seem
strange to any American who has par
taken of that beverage in an English
home, where it is served and drunk by
the natives at the boiling point.
A gardener, one of the observant, old
fashioned sort, who knows that the best
sap comes from hill maple trees, and all
those shades of plant and tree lore, gives
a suggestion that may be of value to
suburban residents. It is in relation to
the current worm, which he says can be
kept away, or. if established, driven
away, by a sprig of pine thrust in the
center of each bush.
Chemists protest against the preju
dice held by most housekeepers towards
cottonseed oil. They claim it to be very
unjust. Such oil is pronounced whole
some and having good food value by
some of the most careful scientists, and
its use is preferable to that of much
of the lard in the market. The oil of a
seed is certainly cleaner in its asso
ciation as well as actually than that of
an animal. N. Y. Post.
Dally Occupation.
It is not unusual to banish from this
portion of life any idea or hope of peace.
That is kept for the evening, when labor
is over, and the comforts of home and
rest take its place; or it is reserved for
the evening of life, when exertion ceases
and energy droops; or it is relegated to
some time in the future, when sufficient
means have been secured to make work
appear unnecessary. It stands for the
realization in some way of ease, com
fort, leisure, luxury, opportunity. On
the other hand, toil, effort, hardship,
struggle are all put in opposition to it.
Thus men will often live lives of labor
and sacrifice, hoping by this means to
obtain peace and tranquility when the
toil is over. But, to unite the two, to
enjoy peace in toil, tranquility in effort,
seldom occurs to them. Yet no peace
'worth having exists without power, and
power must have its outlet in activity.
N. l. Ledger.
Blneed Beefsteak.
Take three-quarters of a pound ot
round steak from the upper round, chop
or grind it as fine as possible, then form
it into three round balls. Flatten then
to one-quarter of an inch thick; place
a frying pan with half a tablespoonful
of butter over the fire. When hot put
In the meat, and fry about four minutes
on each side, turning the steaks twice
during that time. Meanwhile, stir half
tablespoonful butter with half tea-
spoonful salt and one-eighth taspoan
f ul pepper to a cream. Lay the steak
on a hot plate, spread the creamed buV
ter on both, sides and serve. St. Louis
Benublic,
HUMOROUS. ,' " ' '""
Tommy (who has been reading his
tory) "Are kings always good, papa?"
His Father "No, not always, my sqn;j
they are not very good when they runt
op against aces." Truth. "!
Myra "That Miss Beare puts a
a good deal of style when she goes toi
tke opera." Minnie "Well, good gra
cious! The woman's got to put on
something!" Yonkers Statesman.
Taste in Selection. "What did you
think of my speech, Mrs. Tactly?;
asked the sapient young statesman
"I thought some of your quotations
perfectly grand." Detroit Free Press.
The Pretty Girl "Miss Smuthefl
was named after her uncle George,
wasn't she?" The Bright One "I donti
know. She looks as if she was named'
before him." Cincinnati Commercial'
Tribune. I
Kind of a Man He Was. "Did he;
carry any life insurance?" they asked:
the widow. "A little," she repliedJ
"Too bad you didn't take out a litttell
fire insurance on him, too." they sug-j
gested. Chicago Evening Post. i
How He Figured It. Violet "Howi
did Mr. Bighead come to accept tha
doctrine of reincarnation?" Rose
"Well, you know, he always had an im
pression that the world couldn't get
along without him, and if that is so, it
stands to reason that he will have to
come back." Truth.
No Cooperation Required. First
Tramp "I read about dat trial, an do
judge told him he needn't ter say any
thing dat would incriminate him.'' Sec
ond Tramp "Well, I s'pose dat was be
cuz dey had enough evidence to send
him to Sing Sing widout any assistance
from him." Brooklyn Life.
THE LIGHTHOUSE SERVICE.
Pathetle Letter ( m Woman What
Bore the Anxieties of the Life.
Mr. Kobbe quotes the following let
ter, written to a friend by Mrs. Grant,
who lived for many years on Whito
Head, off the Maine coast: Sometimes,
I think the time is not for distant wheal
I shall climb these lighthouse stairs'
no more. It has almost seemed to mej
that the light was a part of myself.
When we had care of the old lard-oil
lamps on Matinicus rock, they wero
more difficult to tend than these lam pa
are, and sometimes they would not burn!
so well when first lighted, especialljrj
in cold weather when the oil got cool.
Then, some nights I could not sleep ai
wink all night, though I knew the keep
er himself was watching. And many,
nights I have watched the lights my,
part of the night, and then could not
sleep the rest of the night, thinking
nervously what might happen should
the light fail.
In all these years I always put tho
lamps in order in the morning, and
I lit them at sunset. Those old lamps
as they were when my father lived
on Matinicus rock are so thoroughly)
impressed on my memory that even!
now I often dream of them. There were
14 lamps and 14 reflectors. When I
dream of them it always Beems to mo
that I have been away a long whilej
and I am trying to get back in time
to light the lamps. Then I am halt
way between Matinicus and Whito
Head, and hurrying toward the rock
to light the lamps there before sunset.
Sometimes I walk on the water, some
times I am in a boat, and sometimes
I seem going in the air I must always
Bee the lights burning in both places
before I wake, I always go through tho
same scenes in cleaning the lamps and
lighting them, and I feel a great deal
more worried in my dreams than when
I am awake.
I wonder if the care of the lighthouse
will follow my soul after it has left
this worn-out body? If I ever hae a
gravestone, I would like it to be in tho
form of a lighthouse or beacon. Guatav
Kobbe, in Century.
A Warnlns" to Bathers.
The oft-repeated warning to surf.,
bathers, and particularly to those who
divs to protect their ears from tho
water by cotton plugs, etc., is not gen
erally heeded, to judge by the damage
often traced to its neglect. They who
have lost the membrana need to be
especially careful, and to give up div
ing. The tympanum is readily protect
ed by the cotton plugs firmly intro
duced, but in diving even then tho
air in the nasal fossae, accessory sin-j
uses, and naso-pharynx is compressed
and partially escapes by the Eustachian
tubes, and in consequence the water en
ters so far and high in the nasal fossae
as to painfully irritate the pituitary
membrane, and leads to protracted con.
gestion. Laryngoscope. ,
Population of Rassln.
The St. Petersburg Novoe Vremym
ays that the Russian census gives a
population for the empire of 127,000,
000, exclusive of the grand duchy of
Finland, which takes its own census,
Some other figures have still to be add
ed from the uttermost parts of Siberia
as well as the nomad tribes of the
steppes and the mountaineers of the
Caucasus, where an exceptional snow
fall delayed the work till spring. Tho
full total is expected not to be nder
130,000,000. Chicago Inter Ocean.
Qaeer Lawsalt. -
A report of a queer lawsuit comes
from Eastkill, a hamlet in the heart
of the Catskill mountains. The plain
tiff is Ole Halverson, a Swede, who
cultivates a small farm on the moun
tain side. He is suing Eev. J. G. Eemer
ton, a German Lutheran minister, for
damages for christening his baby by
a name which was not to his liking.
Halverson is a patriotic Swede and
wanted the child named after King Os
car. The minister claims that he chris
tened the baby according to the wishes)
of its mother N. Y. Sun.
What rtereca the Gloom.
"Perkins is a dismal pessimist, bat 1
heard him laugh heartily this saorn-Ing.-
What occasioned hh merriment T
"A scorcher ran into a mV3t wa go
and broke his wheel. aH to ptecasJ"--
"Detroit Free Preas. '

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