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PAGE SIX ! - THE FARMINGTON TIMES, FARMINGTON, MISSOURI.
Money On good farms or choice town property. Long term loans at low rate of interest. Apply to J. C. SEGAR, President QUICK PAY OLD LINE LIFE INRURANCE CONPANY Bcnne Terre, Missouri EXCERPTS FROM THE DEVIL'S DICTIONARY By Thomas Addison, of the Vigilantes. Pro-German A wart developed by the war; dangerous unless speedily re moved. Slacker. One who is willing to "let George do it;" a plain coward. E-xemptionist. One who suddenly discovers that he has dependants whom he never gave a thought to before; a hard-boiled egg turned soft. Pacifist. A peace bargain hunter; one who would explain away an in sult to his mother. Profiteer. A thief in broadcloth. C. 0. Abbreviation of Conscient ious Objector; one who quotes the Bi ble to sustain his position, and neg lects to quote it where it puts him in the wrong. Peace Talk. Pink pabulum for pale "patriots." Sedition. One of the fine arts prac ticed by the Pro-German press of America. I Bluff. A German name for Amer ican valor; also a steep headland, such as precipitated certain swine in to the sea and destroyed them. Freedom of the Press. A license to vilify America and get away with it; to abuse a generous confidence. Status Quo Ante. A German quack medicine to relieve the patient of ar tillery sclerosis; made only in Berlin. Boche. A butcher; disqualified by law for (international) jury duty. Kaiserism. A disease requiring cer tain powerful powders and pellets to eliminate. Autocracy. The right to do as you d please, and ask a blessing on it. Se Me und Gott. DSJordan. A doctor of something; one who pours peace drugs of which he knows little into bodies politic of which he knows less. (Apologies to M. Voltarie.) Submarine. An American inven tion perfected in Germany, and per verted into a tool for the murder of women and children. Hell. A "Made in Germany" trade mark. STOLE A MARCH J. Perrv Welch and Miss Emma H Turley stole a march on their many friends by motoring over to DeSoto, where they were quietly married at the Methodist parsonage by Kev. Heys of that place. The bride is the onlv daughter of Ed Turley of Coff- man, Ste. Genevieve county, Mo. The groom is an extensive farmer of Washington county. These young people number tneir friends by their acquaintances. They left on an nf- ternoon train for a short honey-moon. after which they will be nt home to their friends who extend many good wishes for their future. Great Faith in Chamberlain's Colic and Diarrhoea Remedy. "Chamberlain's Colic and Diarrhoea Remedy was uped by my father about a year ago v.vcn he had diarrhoea. It relieved him immediately and by tak ing three doses he was absolutely cured. He has great faith in this remedy," writes Mrs. W. H. Williams, Stanley, N. Y. Obtainable every where, (adv.) come to those who have the money to make leisurely trips. Why don't you plan to see something of the country this year? It's mighty good coun try to get acquainted with! Start a Travel Savings Account With Us This Week ST. FRANCOIS to Loan SURVEY TO BE MADE OF COUNTRY SCHOOLS During the last session of the Mis souri General Assembly a suggestion was made that a survey of the coun try schools of Missouril be undertak en. The purpose was to have a con crete statement from reliable sources as to the physical condition of the country schools, their organization anJ support, the preparation of the teach ers in them, and the character and quality of instruction. The matter re ceived favorable consideration from those to whom it was proposed. Af ter the session adjourned, Gov. Gard ner wrote to State Superintendent of Schools Lamkin, suggesting that all the educational interests in the State co-operate in making such a study and investigation, and suggesting fur ther that it would be well for the people of Missouri to know just how efficient their country school system is. In accordance with this plan, the Missouri State Teachers' Association appointed a committee consisting of Uel W. Lawkin, Chairman, Hon. W. K. James of Andrew county, Lieut. Governor Wallace Crossley, Mr. Geo. Melcher, Kansas Ciay, Supt. Herbert Pryor of Mexico and Supt. C. E. Bur ton of Wayne county to have charge of this work. They elected Mr. A. G. Capps as secretary. The Association, together with the State Superintend ent of Schools, the University and Normal Schools, Colleges of the Mis souri College Union and public school people generally have undertaken the work, not with the idea of proving any pet theory or of finding out any one particular thing. It is an investiga tion by Missourians of our own school system with the idea of making the good better, and fo improving condi tions where they should be improved. The co-operation of commercial or ganizations, women's clubs, the news papers, the church and all interested in the public schools of the State is desired. Either Mr. A. G. Capps, Col umbia, the secretary of the committee, or the State Superintendent, Uel W. Lamkin, Jefferson City, will be glad to give any information concerning the matter. OBITUARY William B. Benton was born Henderson county, Tenn., on July 1835, and departed this life nt Knob Lick. St. Francois county, Mo., on Sept. 12, 1917, being, at the time of his death, 82 years, one month and twenty days old. The funeral was conducted by Rev. Chas. Canterberry at the church, after which the body was laid to rest in the Knob .Lick cemetery. Wile of the de ceased and her son, Chas. Tiner and wife, wish to thank the people for their kindness during the hours of trouble. Has a High Opinion of Chamberlain's Tablets. "I have a high opinion of Chamber lain's Tablets for biliousness and as a laxative," writes Mrs. C. A. Barnes, Charleston, 111. "I have never found anything so mild and pleasant to use. My brother has also ured these tab lets with satisfactory results." Ob tainable everywhere. (adv.) Travel Joys COUNTY BANK SELECT SEED CORN FOR BIG YIELD The cardinal rule for selecting seed corn in the field is: select the ears of plants that yield more grain than sur rounding plants grown under the same conditions. In gathering seed corn by this rule two points must be observed. The first point is to pay no attention to fine looking plants which are grow ing in wide spaces, where the stand is thin, or in spoU unusually fertile or moist. The good appearance of such filants may be due to their favorable ocation and not to their natural ten dency to produce a good yield. Al ways select the seed from plants which are growing under average con ditions of all kinds. If, then, unusu al plants are found, it is certain that their good yield is due only to their own capacity to make such a yield. These plants will repeat their per formance in another year. The sec ond point to be observed is in avoid ing the selection of fine looking ears which are not borne by high yielding plants. It is easy to make this mis take, for the natural tendency of the unpracticed selector is to consider a good looking ear good for seed. Many poor seed ears would be gathered if this tendency were allowed to influence the selection, for while it is true that good seed ears are usualljrgood look ing, it by no means follows that all good looking ears are good for seed. It must be clearly borne in mind, says the department of farm crops of the University of Missouri College of Ag riculture, that seed corn is selected for the kind of cars that will yield the most grain. These may or may not be the kind that would make a high score as show corn. The selection of show corn is based mainly on certain fancy points of the car which do not call for special consideration in the selection of seed corn. To repeat: seed corn should be selected from plants which yield the most grain, re gardless of the appearance of the ears, provided they are sound and mature. Among plants which are equal in yield, it is also advisable to pay at tention to the form of the plant. Short, thick stalks, with ears set at a medium distance ffom the ground are desira ble, for such stalks are not easily broken down or blown over, and the ears are at a convenient height for husking. But too much attention should never be given to any special, character of the plant other than yield, for it is possible to produce by selection a highly developed peculiar ity of the plant which will lower its yield. It is advisable to gather two or three times the quantity of seed that will be needed, so that further careful selection can be made of the ears that are in the proper condition for stor ing. The ears selected for storing should be solid and heavy for their size. Solidity indicates thorough ma turity; weight indicates a high per centage of grain. All ears with big snappy cobs should be thrown out; al so should those which show signs of early decay. The way in which the seed is actual ly eathered in the field is best left to the convenience of the individual farmer. It makes no difference how this is done so long as the rules for selection herein given are observed. The main thing is to make tho selec tion. M. U. SEEKS WAY OF FOOD CONTROL Missouri is reported to have more land subiect to overflow than any other State in the Union. It has been estimated that more than 3 million acres of land in the State are subject to crop failure on account of occa sional hieh water. This is a matter of so much importance that the Uni versitv of Missouri has been for fif teen years keeping careful records of stream now in different parts or. tne State in order to eet information up on which it mny be possible to plan some scheme of flood control. The in formation thus obtained is valuable with reference to flood control and al so in its bearing on the possible de velopment of power for industrial us es. The extent of water resources for public water supplies will also be made known. . The State should, in the near fu ture, adopt a definite and comprehen sive plan to reclaim its swamp lands and thus increase the agricultural re sources materially beyond their pres ent extent. An extensive drainage project was recently completed in Southeastern Missouri along the St. Francois river and other streams that will bring into productive use many thousands of acres of first class agri cultural lands. In addition to the reclamation of swamps and overflowed land much can be done to improve low lands for ag ricultural uses by the installation of systems of drain tiling. This can be made of most effect only by careful and systematic effort and on a compre hensive scale. Closely allied to the problems of drainage is the possibili ty and economy of developing the clay resources of the State and using them in the manufacture of drain tile so that the expense of drainage projects may be reduced. Dean E. J. McCaust land of the School of Engineering of the University of Missouri. AMERICA'S OBJECT "The object of this war is to deliver the free peoples of the world from the menace and the actual power of the vast military establishment controlled by an irresponsible government which, having secretly planned to dominate the world, proceeded to carry the plan out without regard either to the sa cred obligations of treaty or the long established practices and long cherish ed principles of international action and honor; which chose its own time for the war; delivered its blow fiercely and suddenly; stopped, at no barrier either of law or of mercy: sweet a whole continent within the tide of; blood not the blood of soldiers nly, but the blood of innocent women andj children also and of the helpless poor; and now stands balked but not defeat-! cd, the enemy of four-fifths of the. world." From President Wilson's re ply to the Pope. j Interesting Letter A very interesting letter was re ceived this week from a leading bus iness rrfan of Cleveland, O., and in view of his having traveled over so large a portion of the United States, devoting over three months to the trip, the following excerpts are very timely: "I have just returned from a fourteen weeks' Chautauqua tour, which began in North Carolina early in June and has taken ma through twelve Eastern and Sou thern States and part of one Ca- nadian Province. "The American people are not yet alive to the industrial and commercial situation which has been brought about as a result of the war. It is the patriotic duty of the American people to see to it that TWICE as many boys and gills attend Commercial and In dustrial schools this year as be fore. I consider it the patriotic duty of a million young women to come from the good homes of this country and immediately equip themselves with commer cial training that will enable them to go into the business offices and do the work that otherwise would be left undone. "It is almost impossible for business concerns at the present time to get competent book keepers and stenographers. What will the situation be six months from now when hundreds of thou sands more of our young men will be taken out of commercial life? Much business in this country is going to be strangled because of the inability to get competent of fice help. "The United States is facing a real opportunity now. Will we arise to the occasion?" You can get Business Training from the Ozark Business College at Farmington more thoroughly and in less time than elsewhere. The facul ty has been doubled. The seating ca pacity has been increased nearly 100 per cent. The better families are rap idly taking up the work. ARE YOU DOING YOUR PART? Our boys are now in the training camps or will soon be. What are the girls doing? They should be taking Business Train ing NOW. LUNATIC BLEW OFF JAIL LOCKS WITH NITROGLYCERINE Martin Spo.ihauer, who some time r.go was arrested at Commerce for threatening to kill two people, who was jailed here and later sent to Pemiscot county as an insane patient and from there was taken to Farm ington, made his nppearr.ice in Ben ton again Saturday, he having torn off enough bars from a window at the insane asylum to permit his escape. Spor.hauer returned to Benton hop ing that Sheriff Sneed, whom he tcok v. fancy to, would go back to Farm ington with him and arrest all the of ficials at Farmington, stating they hr.a net treated him right. Martin seemed disappointed when instead of helping him Air. Sneed placed him .n jail. During Saturday nighi he succeeded in breaking two locks r-.t the jail. Sunday morning when the sheriff en tered the building a negro said: "Boss, dat man am suah a bad man, he dun brok-3 de locks on the windows." The negro said the lunatic had nitrogly cerino sewed into his belt and took out enough to break the locks and blow several bricks out of the wall, but had not made headway enough to escape. C. A. Doubt of Farmington, ar rived Saturday nierht and took Snon- hnuer back to the asylum the follow ing day. It is probable a close watch will be placed on him from now on. Benton Democrat. MISSOURI SOYBEANS BEST The soybean is one of the latest ad ditions to the Missouri crop family. It is a promising member and bids fair to a popular career. The Uni versity of Missouri College of Agri culture is testing eighty-four varieties of soybeans on the experiment fields ct Columbia, in co-operation with the United States Department of Agricul ture. The Department of Agriculture asked the college to co-operate intest ing a number of selections of soy beans last spring. These selections were from a large number of varieties imported by the department. The de partment and the college are trying to determine the best varieties among these selections for Missouri condi tions. In addition the cultural meth ods of soybeans and associated growth of soybeans and corn are being stud ied. W. J. Morse, in charge of soybean investigations for the United States Department of Agriculture, visited the experimental plots in Columbia recently. He has been visiting va rious test fields all over the country and said that the soybeans at the Mis souri College irere as good as any he had seen that they were equal to those in the soybean growing dis tricts of the country. Mr. Morse said that the crop in Missouri seemed to produce more seed in proportion to the other plant parts than it does in the South and East. The College of Agriculture is fur nishing data on the results of these soybean tests to the Department of Agriculture, In return the depart ment furnishes data from all over the country to the college. Deafness Cannot Be Cured by local applications, aa they cannot reach the diseased portion of the ear. There la only one way to cure deafness, and that la by constitutional remedies. Deafneaa Is caused by an Inflamed condition of the mu coua lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this lubo la Inflamed you have a rumbling aound or Imperfect hearing, and when It la entirely closed, leafness Is the result, and unless the Inflammation can be taken out ftnd this tube restored to Its normal condi tion, hearing wilt ba deatroyed forever; nine cases out of ten are caused by Catnrrh. which is nothing but an Inflamed condition of the mucous surfaces. We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case of Deafness (caused by catarrh! that cannot be cured by Hall'. Catarrh Cura. Send for clrculara. free. P. J. CHBNET A CO., Toledo, Ohio. - Fold by Druggists. 75c. Take Hall' Family Fill, (or constlpntlon. DOES IT PAY? Does special training in agriculture pay? Two instances will answer the question. Two brothers of Lees Sunv mit, Mo., who attended the Short Course at the University of Missouri College of Agriculture in 1910-11 went home, and began breeding purebred Poland China hogs. At their first an nual sale the average price which they received was the fourth highest in Po land China sales in the whole United States. In 1915-16 they received the highest average price brought by Po land Chinas in Missouri. Fifteen years ago a Missouri boy went home from the Short Course and rented three acres of neglected or chard from his father. He pruned and sprayed the trees according to the methods he had learned, and worked for neighbors when he was not needed at home. A few years later ho bought 40 acres of land and planted 15 acres in orchard. His trees have borne five crops which have given him a net profit of $467 an acre after deducting fair wages for himself, his teams and other operating expenses. He now owns a 420-acre farm valued at near ly $60,000. This year he is planting 30 acres more orchard. Again, does an education pay? Experience the Best Teacher. It is generally admitted that ex perience is the best teacher, but should we not make uno of the experi ence of others as well as our own? The experience of a thousand persons is more to be depended upon than that cf one individual. Ma ly thousands of persons have used Chamberlain's Cough Remedy for coughs and colds with the best results, which shows it to be a thoroughly reliable prepara tion for those diseases. Try it. It is prompt and effectual and pleasant to take. Obtainable everywhere, (adv.) Dr.' E. J. WILLBANKS Osteopathic Physician and Surgeon Farmington, Mo. Office: Farmers Bank Building. Office hours: 8:30' to 11:30 a. m.; 1:30 to 4:00 p. m. Phone No. 301. FRANCIS A. BENHAM, Attorney at Law, FARMINGTON, MO. B. H. MARBURY Attorney at Law . Practices in all the courts in the State. Office' Farmers Bank build ing. Farmington, Missouri MR. HUGH PORTER, Teacher of Violin. 22 years of Specializing. Schubert School of Music GEO. C. FORSTER, Agent FIRE, TORNADO, PLATE-GLASS and AUTOMOBILE INSURANCE. Office in Farmers Bank Building. Notary Public. Phone 355. ADAM NEIDERT JOHN A. NEIDERT A. NEIDERT & SON UNDERTAKERS AND EHBALHERS FARMINGTON, MO. We are licensed embalmers and carry in stock a complete line of metal lined State and Couch Caskets, Robes and Grave Vaults. Telephone calls, either day or night, are given our prompt attention Office Phone 380 L Residence Phone 380 R J. D. Mitchell, President. J. J. Roberts, Cashier. , C. St. Francois County Bank (Post Office Opposite.) Farmington, Missouri Solicits your banking business. Insured against burg lary. This is the bank with the Savings Depart ment Interest paid on time, deposits. Directors: TIIOS. H.STAM E. E. SWINK.J. D. MITCHELL. ED. HELBER. E. L. HIGGINS. S. J. TETLEY. ALBERT WULFERT. Established 1897. W. M. HARLAN, President W. R. LANG, Vice President Bank of Farmington Capital Stock - $50,000 Capital and Surplus $75,000 Does a general banking and exchange business. Inter est paid on time deposits. Insured against burglary. Collections a specialty. '. Directors: Peter Giessing W. F. Doss M. P. Cayce W. B. Lang W. M. Harlan E. A. Rozier J. . Kltin THE FARMERS BANK FARMINGTON, MO. Capital Stock .... $35,000 Surplus ...... $20,000 j ONE DOLLAR STARTS AN ACCOUNT. Directors P. A. Shaw, Wm. London, W. L. Hensler W P r; H. P. Reuter, C. B. Penman, L. H. Williams! . JOHN B. ROBINSON, Dentist, Office with Dr. B. J. Robinson. Farmington, Mo. Phone 94. E. L. HORTON, Dentist, Office in Lang-Holler Building. Phone 69. Farmington, Mo. F. S. WEBER Physician and Surgeon. Office in Room 10, Realty Building, Farmington, Mo. DR. B. J. ROBINSON, Physician. Farmington, Mtfc Phone 94. JOHN B. GRAVES, M. D. Farmington, Mo. Office in Realty Building Phones: Office 379, Residence 863. W. N. Flemi ng NOTARY PUBLIC REAL ESTATE LOANS INSURANCE Your Business is Respectfully So licited. Office in Realty Building. FARMINGTON, MO. PHONE 71. PARKVIEW CEMETERY Farmington, Missouri PERPETUAL CARE Lots for Sale on Easy Terms W. N. Fleming, Sec Phone 71 Lang & Bro. Mf'g & Mer. Co., FARMINGTON, MO. Manufacturers of Wagons, Farm Implements, Lumber and Build ing Material E. Wood, Assistant Cashier E. E. Swink, Vice President M. P. CAYCE, Cashier C. H. GEISSING, Ass't Cashier