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King Edward and
Fun In England " Are tee- Lint Ckaa r Wm aerial Ttc ! Creel kWrUla's SearetILkr. Creke AWrea CUh y MARSHALL P. WILDER tnn " ! V tnwt," , Mmnhtll UUI4t. f.rrrtiU, , , , v tf'mtmsllt CMi r ir an kiui; were Bi competent tin the tenlnl end iactful Rrutlcma .who recently ascend a uie.Britisli tlin.no It would J.o a tlinnk lw Job lo start new republic nny -urre. I'r-rsoiially bae tmnir irrounil for tlila opinion, for I had the tplensiiro or meeting hln mnj wty many time while lie wn l'rlnro Mmn.Il P. VTJJ. of Wnlp. ""1 tlicao meeting were duo ciitirely to Ills klndnew o-f'nntiire nml Rrncnilly were of his own Initiative. I Omi t IninKlno ho knew It, hut the I'linre of Wales onco lifted me out o ns uiicmiifortnlilo n fix ns I ever c Jnlo In I union. The Ancient nnd lion oral.le nrlillery. IIoBton's swell mill t.irv owmlzntlon, visited KiiKlnnd I . IV.HJ i,h Kiients of tho AiiclentM nn llmioralileH of Iximlon, who entertain ed them haiidHotnely oud Iind them prp kpiikm o jut majesty the oueen. Tli Jloslou compiiny In turn Rave a crea iiiniier to tlielr hoBts. Pome Ainerl cans then in tho city were Invited, nn l nau mo pood fortune to he of tho number. j no Ppeetnclo was lirllliant In the extreme, nlno out of every tin men present being in full dress uniform. Jlio entire nssemblngo was Kalhcrn imumiaiiy 111 iwo long, guttering rows. nwuiting the rrinco of AVnlri, who was iihvajs tho soul of puiirtiialily. Had many nequalntances In tlio two imlformed bodies, as well ns among mo minnillitiiry guests, and was mov intr iibiuit from one to another. I was in conventional evening dress, and had a tiny American flag pin 1 to the lapel of my coat. "How Are You, Little Chap) J ho master of ceremonies, whoso manner was niore'consoqucnllal thr.n that of nny distinguished person In tho room, seemed annoyed that any civ illaus were present, and ho did his ut most to separate them from tho sol tilers. I had the misfortune to beeonio his bote noire. Whenever ho found mo anions tho military men ho gently but persistently pressed me uway, but no Komier did he rjift mo in one direction than I reappeared from another and between two pairs of gajly appareled Mldl'-rs' legs, so I made the pour fel low nervous and fussy to the verge of distraction. l.xaetly at 8 o'clock the Prince of Wales was announced ami every one came to attention. He entered with the genial Hiiillo which was tin Inscpa rablo put of him and t-hoolc hands with the American minister and other dignitaries. Soon he spied mo, came across the ronni, greeted mo very Kind ly nod said: "How are you, little chap?" "Very well, thank you, nir," I re piled. "I am to 'lear you tomorrow night at tho DuKo of Devonshire's, I under stand," ho continued. "Won't you give us that mother In law pantomime uf yours V "I'ertaiiil.v, sir," 1 answered. As the prince left me and ascended the stairs I saw the master of ceremonies, who bad witnessed the meeting, was vis lhly disturbed. Boon ho literally liov cred about mo and displayed a fixed and conciliatory smile. The guests began to follow the prince, and as they passed up the stairs many of them greeted me. Senator Depew remarked; "Hello, Marshall, how are you?" That dear old gentleman and Kng 1. idol, John J 4. Toole, passed, blinked i. .lly at me and said: i;liid to sco you again, Marshall. II iw are you?" An Army Celebrity. Presently tho master of ceremonies turned nervously to an English otllccr and asked, with an aggrieved tone in his voice: "Who is tills Ilttlo chap, anyway? Everybody seems to know him." The ollicer did not chance to know mo, but an English sergeant who was of the attendant guard and was willing to impart information said: "Ho be longs to tho American army. He's a marshal." The great functionary im mediately regarded me with profound respect, not unmixed with wonder at the modesty of great American sol diers, for an officer of my supposedly exalted rank was entitled to follow close behind his royal highness. Tct of King Edward. -IClng Edward has wonderful tact. This yunlity Is not restricted to pub lic purposes. His acquaintances know that It is untiringly exercised for the .benefit of Queen Alexaudru, of whose jli!tifnesi he is never unmindful. Often, .when I had tho honor to entertain the royal fuiqlly and their friends, it was my duty to face the king (then Prince of Wales).1 . Sometimes this placed mo embarrpsslugly loo with my back to the greater part of the audience. Hut the prince was regardless of custom Had UIimw o royal prerogative when hs consort's' enjoyment "Vas ea4ugeij. On one occasion when tie saw that tbt prluccss was not hearing me distinctly he (aid eoftly to me, "ilr. Wilder, kindly turn yoar face toward the prin cess." A PJie Princess. And her royal highness Is as tactful its he.' The audience at a eiclal en tertainment given the ahull of Persia in London included the most distln- ulshcd and wealthy people lu the city. 1 was lisnong thoM eo:'flg4 to eutcr- strango that be field? bis programme upside down. This might bate occa sioned a laugh and caused the shah some mortification had not the prin cess deftly turned her own programme upside down and kept It so during the performance. Croker and the Clock. During one of my visits to Richard Croker at Wantage bis son Bert was fond of getting up early In tho morn ing to hunt mushrooms, and in order to be awqkencd he would set an alarm clock. "Early morning" in England and at that season of the year was from 3 to 4 o'clock, for dawn comes much earlier than with us. His father did not wish him to ariso so early, so be would go softly Into Bert's, room and turn off the alarm, to assure a full night's sleep for the boy. The fact that ho could not hear tho nlarm wor ried Bert so greatly Hint he placed the clock directly over his hend,,lmnglng it to a string from tho celling. But even In this position Mr. Croker succeeded 1. 1 manipulating It, and ho gleefully told me of It at the time. Before starting from Loudon for Wantage one day Mr. Croker asked me to go to a furniture dealer with hlin; lie had some purchases to make. As we entered the place ho said to mo, "We've only half an hour In which to catch the train." But tho way he bought furniture did not mnko hi in lose the train. He would say, pointing to n drpsser: "How much is that?" : "Six guineas, sir." .- "(live mo six of t'lem." ' Pointing to another: "How much Is that one?" "Five guineas, sir." x "Well, seven of those," and so on. With such rapid fire, even though he) expended more than a thousand dol I nrs, and not at haphazard either, there was ample timo to catch the train, The Incident, though slight In Itself, Is Indicative of his quickness of decision, but It so utterly upset the dealer, no customed to English deliberation, that he begged permission to watt until next day to 'prepare an Itomlzed bill. Past Masteri of Sarcasm. I went one day Into a London res taurant where u great many people were dining, yet absolute silence pre vailed Instead of tho liii.n of chatter and laughter of n Trench or American restaurant. T nslteil a waiter: "Doesn't,, any one ever laugh here?" "Yes, sir,"' he replied. "Sometimes we 'ave complaints, sir." The first natives to accost an Amer ican are the "cabbies," and they are a never fulling source of amusement to me. They abound In natural wit and are past masters of sarcasm. One of the i arpest bits I ever heard was told about an old cabby and one of his younger fellows. The former was a master of whip ami rein. He boasted that he knew every foot of London and declared that, although he had been In many tight places, ho had never failed to drive out pmootlily. One day, how ever, he lost control of his horse and ran Into a young cabby's out (It. Tho younger man looked hlin over conde scendingly, contemptuously, and then asked : Well? An' 'ov do you llko Lon don?" A friend of mine once took n call drawn by an animal which was bony In tho extreme. The drrvor has hailed by the Jehu of a passing cab with: (i silly. Bill, I see yer goln' to 'ave a new orse." ' o told yer so?" W'y. I see y've got tho framework there." The Merciful Policeman. Every summer when I revisit Eng land some old acquaintance Is sure to say, "Mr. wilder, those stories vou told last year are awfully funny." It has really taken hlui about n year to get at tho points of tho various talcs. Ho doesn't lack appreciation of humor, but he Is so accustomed to having It served in only one way that he Is puzzled when It appears In a now form, fine day I told an English au dience about New York's fire depart ment and IU methods. Grcut Interest was manifested, so I ventured to tell the old story of a lire in an India rub ber factory. This factory was a rargo, tall building, and when the nlarm of fire was given one of the employees round himself on tho top floor, with burning stairs under him. His only clianee was to Jump, but the pave nient was so far below his windows Lhat death seemed Inevitable. Sudden he bethought himself of tho elastic properties of rubber, of which the room was full. Could ho envelop him self with it ho might Jump and strike the sidewalk softly. So he donned rub ber coats, belts, diving stilts aud every thing elso ho could find until ho made the serious mistake of putting on too much, for when ho Jumped ho re bounded from the pavement again and again continued to do so for Ave days, when a merciful police ofBcer came along and shot the poor fellow to save him from the awful fate of starving tj Ucatli. About half an hour after I told this veracious story one of my audience came to me and asked: 'Mr. Wilder, do you think that D0- iic;) oiucer was justified 7" MISS NOTHING. Mr. T. T. Turlev has Merriment With Names. riie Fultou Sun a few days ago contained the following: T. T. Tuiley.of Mexico, arrived here Tuesday to place his daughter Xlisi Nothing Turley, in Williams Woods college. Miss Nothing urlcy is a sister of Miss Eighty ne Turley, who graduated at the Williams Woods college three era aero and whose very unique uauie caused considerable comment at the time. Mr. Tut ley, in conversation with a reporter for the 8uo Wednesday mori'iog.said he had four childreu whoe names are aa follow: The daughters are Misses Eighty-One, Nothing Trix and Kittle O., end V.. M Tor! V, V ! ) I now n resident of Seattle, Wash ington. Miss Eighty-one is teaching school in Mexico and the youngest daughter, Kittie (), is attending school there. Id speaking of the unusual names of his children Mr. Turley snid he desired to have some new names in his family and a the evidence shows he succeeded ad mirably. Miss Eighty-One was so named because she was named in 1881. Nothing, or Trix, received her name from her father who had suggested that she le called Imo, but his wife objected to this name and in speaking of it she said" Imo Nothing," and in taking 'this cue Mr. Turley named her Nothing. The son's came from the tiarse calling to Mr. Turley after his birth to "Come and look at it." Mr. Turley enjoys the merriment caused by the unusual names of his children and has just as much fun out of it ns any one. Called Up Higher. Mrs. Adelia Honey wood Van De venter was born May 18, 183.'J, in .Shell) county, Kentucky, and was reared in the counties of Shelby and Jessamine. Iu the year 1853 tihe removed with her father, Sam ual Drake, to Monroe county, Mo., where she was married in 1854 to Dr. W. II. Vau Deyenter. She died in Laddonia, Mo., August 29, 1905, aged 72 years and four months. Mrs. Van Deventer is survived by one brother, Dr. J. S. Drake, of Santa Fe, Mo., and by a sister, Mrs. Brown Young, of Nieholasville, Ky. She was the mother of three children one of whom, a daughter, died iu infancy; the other two, Dr. E. D. Van Deventer, of Luddouia, Mo., mid Mrs. John X. Drown, of Mexico, Mo. .survive het and were privileged to be with her during her last illiness- She lias been a Chrifliuu from early life; a member first of the Associate Reformed, and in litter years of the I'tesbj teiiun church. She held her membership for the past ten years with the congrega tion of Laddonia, Mo. The funer al services in connection with her death were held from the home of her son nt Lnddotiin August '30 and were conducted by Rev. A. A. Walluce.of Mexico and Rev. Wei- tsel IJeule.of Lnddotiin. The character of Mrs. Vunde- ventef revealed many beautiful trails. I It r gen tin mid quiet grace won for her n large circle of friends, who loved her for "tho or nament ot a meek and quiet spirit, which iu I he sight of (iod is of great price. Dut while gentle and retiring in manner she was not wanting in the possession of the stirring graces of faith, devotion and zenl. Beneath the unruffled and mod est demeanor mere was a courage and heroism truly noble. She bore suffering for years in silence and and without a word of complaint. The trouble which brought her to the grave she endured loug before it was suspected by even a siugle member of her family. This she did for other's sake that they might be spared, as long as possible, the anxiety and worry over an juenr able malady. Her faith was not of tho kiud reserved for great scenes of trial; it was manifested iu nil events of her life. When on her dying bed an old friend wishing to speak a comforting word said: "At Even ing Time It Shall Be Light,"' she replied, "There has always been light." The faith which strength ened and sustained her in sick ness, pain and denth was hers in fulness, because thru days of vigor, health and life she had nourished it iu praying and exercised it daily. Dyiug grace she hud cherished. The word of Ood she had pur posely hidden in her heart, stored in her mind, so that when failing powers should be her portion and she no longer might read and study, she could recall by memory the sweet assurances of help and lean for support upon the staff of divine promise. She fell asleep trust iug in Hi in who snid: I will never leave thee." The spirit has gone lo God's right baud. By the side of the husband of her youth who precfdtd her by twenty years her body awaits iu the Mexict Ceme tery "The Resurrection of the just." A. A. W. Farms and City Property If you want to buy sell or trade your farm or. city property, call aud tee Clark & Cuuthoru, over !,!' .1 ii I'lHiV, Mexico,!' o. Sheriff's Sale. lly virtue and authority of a ipnclal el ocution Issued from the office of the Clerk of the Circuit Court of Audrain County, Missouri, returnable at the September Term, of said Court, and to me directed in favor of W. V. Wliltn and against 8. M. Rhoadman, I have levied upon and ulzed all the right, title. Interest and claim of the said 8. M. Rhoadman of, In and to the following described real estate, to-wll: The north half ('-,) of the dgiilliwi-Bt quarter and the southeast quarter of the south" est quarter of section twenty-six township liftj-two (52), range Ave (5), of Audrain County. Missouri. All lying and being In the said County, and State of Missouri; and I will, on Fi IJiiu, Oi iolirr 9, A . 7. ;, (It being the 17th day of the Circuit Court of said Countv), betw een the hours of nlno o'clock in the forenoon aud Ave o'clock In the afternoon of that day, at the Court House disir, In the City of Mexico, County of Audrain aforesaid, sell the same, or so much thereof as may bo required, at public vendue, to the highest bidder for cash In hand, subject to all prior liens and Judgments, to satisfy said execution and costs. THICK JOHNSON, Sheriff of Audrain County, Mo. Aug 51 or. vol (1 no 41 About Girls Who Flirt. To begin with, don't. Don't try to flag down the first good lookiug stranger that gets oft the train in your town, says the La Belle Star. If h's got good sense he'll despise you for it. A man never wants to marry a girl that will flirt with him. A man that is worth having won't marry a girl that he has caught at the end of u handker chief or other kind of a flirtation. He won't trust her. If a girl should happen to catch a fellow through a flirtation, its dollars to doughnuts that his head is the shape of a quarter of a pie with the noint up, and the girl's father will have both of them to support. Any girl can catch a fool, but it takes a wise, sweet girl to catch a mau. When a good looking, well dressed man get off a train or drives into a town thero are al ways some girls who think thev will die if they don't get acquain ted with him, quick, and are not willing to wait for the proper kind of an acquaintance and begin to flag him down. A gut who attracts the attention of a trargcr by an? kind of Bigns lowers herse.'? in his estimantion.nnd she will never live long enough to live it down. When a young man begins loo King tor a wife it is not the flirt or fresh girl that he wants, for he is sure to find out all the good qualities of the girl Mint i. worth maining. Be quit and ladylike, don't fear, yon wo.i't bo overlooked iu the ftcnr' roundup the rami that is worthy of a good, pure girl. Fatlicti and mothers, if you don't want your girl left on your bauds a bunch of excess baggage, look to it that she makes the right kiud of acquaint' ance in the right way. For farm iusurante see Lakeuan & Barnes. Duroc Jersey Pigs. 100 head of spring pigs, splendid individuals, eligible to registry. Prices very reasonable. Can furnish male or female not ukin. B. W. Hale, Laddonia, Mo. C. A. WITHERSPOON, ABSTRACTOR OP H LAND TITLES, MEXICO Mo.2 5 Office: South side fo Square. 2 FARM LOANS AT 5 PR. CT. Quick service. Farm, city property and mer chandise for sale. List yours if you wish to sell. Low rate excursions to Oklaho ma, Indian ler. ami lexas. (Jul I and get illustrated booklets aud maps, they are free. Your business is solicited. S. D. STOCKS, MCxico. Mo. A Demand For Sober Men. Tho work of today demands ineu of clear brain for its perform ance. It matters not whether the work be in the office, the counting room, the legietalive ball, Ihe btore, Ihe shop, the field or the mine. The mau who each morn ing brings to his task a strong mind and steady nerve will al ways find bis services in demand, says tbe Baltimore American, while the one who allows himself to be come tie victim of an unbridled appetite will soon discover that bis place has been filled by on v, Lo t-aii do tbe work belter than he. Such an address made by President Roosevelt ia always timely. While it is undoubtedly true that excess iu the use of liquor is not as common today as they were a quarter or a half century ago, there is still vast room for improvement, and every effort in that direction dettrvra the tnrour gement of all who seek the eleva ion and betterment of their fel low men. Mexico's School Enrollment. The Mexico school employs nine teen teachers. At the opening last week there were 904 pupils en rolled, as follows: Room Enrollment Teacher. U :V.) Mr. Hawthorn 13 40 Miss Clark 12 47 Miss Baldwin 11 51 Miss Shea sub stitute for Miss Gill 10 54 Miss McIIenry 9 51 Miss Morris 8 52 Miss Duncau 7 50 Miss Cauthorn G 45 Miss Karues 5 64 Miss White 4 42 Miss Johnson 3 54 MissOlTutt 2 48 Miss Wright 1 52 Miss Knening 679 SOUTH HIDE 5 20 Miss Clement 4 42 Miss Turley 3 42 Miss Davis 2 42 Mrs.IIotiglui.d 1 70 Miss Hopkins 21'o 079 904 Total MURDER 300. Bubies Thrown Into Awful Situation. The River H. Petersburg, Sept. 12. Dis patches today from virions parts of the Cuucnsus iiidioatt that the troubh s which have been iu pro gress there for so many days ore stil) continuing. According to the report Tartars rp engaged in pil laging Armenian monasteries. The trouble has reached a climax in the Caucasia districts of Jieueg zur.nnd Jebrail. There 'farters are maMWHJ Armenians l n great nuiriLci' UlJOUf distinction of age or sex. T ","Uy - ilWU I'll. ! 1 1 ill. '!'-..... I. I i .HUM IMIIIS Hill) are engaged in ibis .v,.ik ..r . xter munition. Aluu.v th.iiis.in.N uf T.ir ter horsemen bauds are led by Tur ler i i lice i fliciiilr. At the village of Miukiud, 3tj Armenians were iniuancred amid scenes of groat horror. Mutilated children were tossed to the dogs and. according to the dispatches, lost their lives by embraomg Islymism. Womeu and children and the in mates.of those institutions have been ruthlessly murdered. Crimes of indescribable horror have been prepetrated. Farm Insurance. All who waut Fire and Light ning audTornado insurance should come to see me lean write you in the Phenix of Brooklyn, the creat farm insurance company, on. most reasonable terms. John VV 4't IIOWELL. Agent. sft.K.LUCKIEI DEALER IN GRANITE, MARBLE, CUTSTONE, J S HARD WOOD MANTELS, 5 S GRATES. TILES. ETC. 5 MEXICO, MISSOURI. 3 E. ft. SHftNNON I JLAWYER-NOTARY PUBLIC j MEXICO, t MISSOURI J . i Will Rive all bimlnrKs nroinot atten-V Wll 5' Ion. :.ary - r... ..I.... ... . . ....... T.',. ."u ij i ill nuou J r y .1 u M work ilitnA. . W $ Monuments I It will be toyour iuferest to see m before placing an order for mon ument or anything iu the monu mental line. Yard and office, Olandon B'ld'g, Mexico, Mo. Branch office, Vaudalia, Mo. JAMES W. OALLAI1EU. a. m." Patterson: Physician and Druggist, north west corner Public Square, Mexico, Mo. Full line of Staple Drags and Druggist's Sundries, Patent Medicines, Dye Skiffs, Etc. A full assortment of Ilomoe pathio Medicines always on hand. These remedies sent by moil when ordered. Will do strictly an office prac tice. ADVICE FREE Is the roof over your head Insured THE FARMERS' BMre Ins. Co ....OF....' Mexico, - Tvlo. W. L. FOWLES.Seo'y. Fire aifl Toraaflo. A. Attorney-'At'Law Mexico, . NXo Southern Bank Building. Health authorities say it's necessary 4o boil clothes to preserve purity. N mo better than ours when 3611 boil your clothes. A. C. WHITE, Cxpert Optician. Drs, White 1 f i Glasses fitted and all diseases of the Eye, Ear isa 'aii nmt By the latest aud uilyst EYES TESTED FREE. 3 Office over Morris & Abbay'a T WHY rub your clothes to pieces, and your tun every uiue tbe pia wueel revolve. Will wash any garment elean with out Dolling, without rubbing, wllnoul tbe lea wear aud tear, nothing but soap aud water. It washes the finest fabrtae without breaking a thread, and will wash a ear. pet with ease. SEND FOI COMPLETE CATALOGUE Of TWENTY-ONE OTHER STYLES. Aokmt wahtbd raxTwauuk Tfc. CLIO k: Pilm, 5t0 tMttDi Butt of Mo Mexico, Mo., Capital stock all paid up Sl.-iO.ono.oo Surplus fc5,(Xi0.oO Interest paid on all deposits J. A. Guthrie,-President; CP. Clark Vice President; A. 1). Jackson, Cashier Directors: W. V. Harper, J. T. John son, J. A. Untlirle.C. W. Lewis, and C. F. Clark. CHICAG .TON K Y. TIME TABLE ' StandMrd Tim. WEST-Bound Trains Leave No 33 Night Exp from St. to Chicago 3 10 a m No 7 Colo & Oil "ThoIIummer" 3 13 a m No 21 K. C. Midday Special 1240 p m No ir Mo. State Exp 1 05 p in No 19 Mexico Accom 7 40 p m No 115 way-f'rt(cx'Sunday) 10 00 am EAST-Bound Trains Leave No 20 Chicago Accom 0 45 a m No 14 Mo. State Exp 127pm No 22 St.L. Midday Special 2 24 p m No 10 Chlcagollummer 10 57 p m No 24 St. Louis Night Exp. ...3 17 a m No 24 C hicago Accom 3 17 a m No 113 Way fr'ttex' Sunday). ..7 30 a m jErrax mi mm, SOUTH Hound Trains Leavo No.2H Fulton Accomodation... 0:4oa m No.213 Way Freight 7:50 a tn No. 215 Mull (except Sun) 1 40 p m NORTH Hound Trains Arrive No.210 Jofforson City Mall 9:30Om No.214 Fulton Accomodation. . . 12:25 p m No.213 Way Freight 5:40 p tn Daily Except Sunday, I. M. RICHARDS, Passenger and Ticket Agt. OEO. J CHARLTON, Gen. Pass'iijer Agt.,CfcA. R.R., Chlcag. wabashIailroad. MEXICO. Colng EMtt. No 4 Atlantic Expr's No 14 " 3 05 a m 4 10a m -7 24 a m No 10 Columbia Accom No 20 St Paul Lim No 12 St. Louis Exp 10 a m 3 20 p m No 2 EasternMail & Ei-n 3 00 n m ! No 6 Mail & Ex 10 45 d m No 70 Local F't (ex.Sn) 8 50 a m Oolna Wilt. No 7 Pacific- E?p J go a m No 13 Kansus City Exp 11 h5 ii iu No 3" 12 15 p m No 9 Kansas City Mail 5 15 p m No 5 Columbia Accom 9 40 p m jfo I Pacific Exp, 10 25 p m No 71 LoGnlFr't(ex-Sunj4 25 p I. M. RICHARDS, Atft. t B, EDWARDS, M. D. X A A A A A i A A ; A A A A A X A & Edwards. scientific methods. A X A X A t Store, Mexico. 'Phono ICG. life away over aa old Waahboird? r i When our tttb Century Kagtc Bait-Bearing W Mixing Machine will muv pit'muf. Tn tub o, our " KuKle " machine I an eonetrocted that tt ra TOlven over 18 eteel ball, making It trietiy ball-lxarluir, there are aliio attached twoooil spring which gives the reaction .to the 'rrx Good Luck, I1.9B niink of flrUettn wnrinTfiflUiti pi -l Arflb.t.U. i U W.uu iiiin i.u.i in 1 1. way.