Newspaper Page Text
for Business THB TALE OF A SUBURBANITE By CHARLES BATTEU LOOMIS (Author cl '"Cheerful Americana' 'Mlnerinj's Manemra," fccj lOspTricU, m, kr Joaapk a aie. Cranfleld la a pretty little park-like hamlet about 30 mile out of New York on the New Jersey A Suburban road. . Not very far from tbe station on one iof the side streets is a smallish but comfortable white house, and In that white house with Its honeysuckle com pletely covering the walls lives George Harlls, his wife Eilen Harlls, and thetr two children, Harry and Eleanor, whose ages are somewhere between 8 and 12. George Is In business in New York, and he Is a good average American. Ellen, his wife, Is slight and pleas Ing-looklng, and mentally she Is more than a match for her well-meaning but Irascible husband. It is George's custom to take the 8:02 train for New York, and it Is that habit that is one of the causes of the three gray hairs in the head of Ellen, his wife. Behold the bedroom In which George and his wife are sleeping. Outside the sky Is dark and lowering, and it lids fair to be a rainy day. A Utile silver traveling clock is ticking on the bureau. It evidently has no alarm attachment, for it is 25 rnirutes past seven by It, and George and hiB wife are still peacefully sleep ing, lulled thereto by the darkness, and tin heaviness of the autumn air. The clock strikes the half-hour, and Mrs. Harlls wakes and looks at It. : "George I George! she cries. 'Hurry and get up! It Is half-past seven. You'll miss your train." A Miore Is the only response. George was up late the night before at the housa of their next-dnor neighbors, the Chlvvlnses, and he Is compressing eight hours' sleep into six. 'George! Breakfast must be ready. Get up." Mrs. Harlls nudfees George, and he rises wildly up to a sitting posture. "What's happened?" "You've overslept. That's all. Don't talk, but get dressed, unless you want to be sensible and take the 8:30." "And have the old man sarcastic at my expense?" says George, jumping out of bed and emptying half the con tents of the pitcher on the washstand and the rest on the floor. "You might think you were office boy, instead of Junior partner." "If you're talking to me, I don't hear you," says George, vigorously splashing water into his ears and eyes. "Where's that confounded towel?" "Right in front of you, as usual." George, his eyes full of water, snatches at the towel and pulls down the splasher. "Oh, If you aren't a bull in a china shop when you're late," says Ellen. "Why in the world didn't you call me at seven, anyhow? . I'll have to get HE SPRINTS ALONG. an alarm clock like 1 used to when I was e clerk." "Like you used to Is good. As you used to is better." "well, look here, if you think I have time for one of your grammar lessons, I haven't. Where's my tooth brush? Confound it all, there's never anything in place where I want it!" "Take it out of the cup like a good little boy. and don't tret blind he. cause you're late." "Whose fault is it I'm late?" "Fault of the weather, dear. Really, bridge lsn t good for your temper." "Oh, I know I'm cross, but I haven't time to be anything different. Good temper takes time. Where's my col lar button?" . "Now, George, do be original. Even If. y0" re suburbanite, don't go hunting for a collar button. Here it is, where you put it. I have to be head and hands and feet for you when you're late." "Well, It's lucky you have the head and LanJa and feet- I'm not kicking at you, but I wish I could get up at a seasonable hour for once in my life and not have to gobble my breakfast and rush for the train like a man in a comic paper. It a undignified." "That's what I always say, dear. But if you'd talk less, you could hurry more. It's twenty minutes to eight now, and the breakfast bell has rung." ."Well, that's a wonder. It would be jutst like Ann to have breakfast lato, and make me miss my truiu In spite of my hurry."- Makes me sU'k, the way t-hi jjas of delaying crenlifast." "Will, but she hai.n't done It this morning. . There, now, here I am rviiJv. and you're not. As It'u Satur day, I'm going to let the children sleep. It's a pity I'm not taking the train Instead of you I'll go dowa and get your coffee ready. "That's all I'll have time for this morning. First thing you know I'll be down with dyspepsia. If only w bad an alarm clock." "I've been asking you to get one ever since we moved out here. Be sure to get one to-day." "Well, run along, and don't delay me. Oh, hang It all." "What's the matter now?" "I didn't shave yesterday, and I've got to shave to-day. I look like the devil." "No, dear, your evebrows are too straight for that" "Huh! Where's my razor?" "In the usual place, my dear. I put It thsre every day." "Oh, you're a wonder, aren't yon? That's what It Is to be well brought up." George Is already lathering his face and rubbing it in, and while his wife goes down to expedite matters he be gins to shave. "Ellen! Ellen! Never mind that train. I've cut myself." Ellen from down stairs says: "I'm Borry, dear; tut do you want me to go and tell them they needn't stop at Cranfleld this morning? There'll be others to take It, you knov." "By Jipps, ten minutes of eight! But I will take it." (He looks at himself In the glass.) "Bleed! Go on bleeding. Where's the absorbent cotton? Ellen, Where's that confounded absorbent cotton? What are you doing down stairs, anyhow?" "It's in the bathroom. Hurry, dear. I've broken your eggs in a cup and peeled your orange, and your coffee's getting cold." George prances into the bathroom and upsets a bottle of arnica while he's getting the cotton. "Can't you keep that coffee hot? What do I want of h lot of cold cof fee? I look fine now. Say, Ellen, I look fine with that absorbent cotton on.'1 Silence for two minutes, and then George rushes downstairs, three steps at a tune, and, stepping over the back of his chair, seats himself. "That's elegant, dear." George has filled his mouth so he cannot speak, but he pantomimes elo quently, and looks at his watch. "By Jipps, I'll make It yet! " He tastes his eggs, and makes a face. "These eggs are cold as a stone." "They were warm when Ann brought them in, dear." "Well, how many times have I told her not to bring them in till she hears my foot on the stairs? Breakfast ought to be something to look for ward to, and it's a nightmare." Ellen draws a long breath and says: "If you got up at seven, you'd have time, dear." "Suppose I need the sleep?" "Take it at the other end." "Well, when Is a man to have a good time? Working all day In the city, evening's my only chance." Ellen pushes her hands out at him. "Eat, eat, dear. I want you to catch that train." "Glad to get rid of me, eh?" "Well, you're not lovely when you're In a hurry, you know." George elevates his eyebrows and shrubs his shoulders. He looks nar rowly at his wife. "Tnat coffee would have been all right, Ellen, If you hadn't poured it out so long ago. Well, good-by." "Good-by, dear. Aren't you going to kiss me?" "Not this morning, unless you catch me on the way to the train. Remind me to-night. Hold you in my lap, and kiss you " "Don't talk so. Ann will hear you." George laughs, leaves his napkin for his wife to fold, and rushes from the house with two minutes in which to make the equivalent of four ci',y blocks. His hat in his hand, be sprints along, overtaking two other sprinters whose wives are throwing Kisses to them from the front door. Hurried as he is, ho yet reflects that Ellen threw him no kiss, and he comes to the conclusion that he must be a bear. As the three men make the two plat forms of the last car. George pulls out his note book and writes down these items: "One alarm clock. "One pound best chocolate mixed." And then he slews and melts through tbe beautiful country to New York, and the office boy knows as well as if he had been told that George Harlls overslept. The Wrong Inference. Prof. Barrett Wendell, of Harvard, lightened with an anecdote an Eng lish lecture. "There was a certain Instructor," ha said, "who was always impressing upon his students the need of perspi cuity. "A young man came to him one day to get back an essay that had been submitted. '"A very good essay,' said the in structor, as ho returned the paper, 'but, Mr. Smith, you Bhould write al ways so that the most Ignorant person can understand every word you say." "The young man looked up anx iously. " 'What part of my essay was not clear to you, professor?' he asked."' N. Y. Tribune. r- What Saved Him. "Did his presence of mind save him wh'Mi the smash-up occurred?" "No; it was his Absence of body; he had taken another tain." iouff Un Post. - . . (II THE METROPOLIS BT. OECTBGE'S CHURCH A GREAT CIVIC INSTITUTIOH. DR. RAINSFORD A FIGHTER Vascular Man of Splendid Physique Trinity One of Greatest New York Land Owners Work of "The Bums' Friend." BW YORK. That ?lv I Dr. W. 8. Rains IP I I ,ord. ff In i r 1 KrIt. really vn urn great work l.n St. George's church, seems almost in credible to New Yorkers who have known faim as the strongest, stark est exponent In the city of Muscular Christianity. Dr. Rainsford is a fighter. He never did a more characteristic thing than when he opposed as a waste of money the building of the $10,000,000 ca thedral of St. John the Divine. It Btands on a hill, aloof from the dense people, unfinished and likely to be so for 50 years, though men of other creeds have helped build it to the glory of the city. Rainsford said that what New York needed was not a ca thedral, but two great Institutional churches, In a way New York has thoso churches. Dr. Greer's, on the great West side. Dr. Ralnsford's on the greater East side. The money of the Vanderbllt's is behind Dr. Greer's work the work he began; of course he is now bishop coadjutor. As for St. George's, on Stuyvesant square, the 6ite of Peter Stuyvesant's farm, in 1883 it was dead. Its people had gone uptown, a great wave of Immigration had come in. Other Protestant churches were moving northward. St. George's sent to Toronto for a young Englishman, not easily beaten. He looked the field over, and said: You must make the seats free, dis charge all the committees except the vestry, so as to leave me free hands and give me $10,000 a year for three years for parish work, to use as I see fit." The "new rector began his work, as he has said since, by preaching out in three weeks seven of his 14 families. After 23 years ha has left his par-, islr with 8,000 people preached into It, and with new ideas of the Bcope of church work instilled into a large proportion of the other congregations of the -city. St. George's has become not only a religious, but a civic force. The activities of its parish house, built by J. Plerpont Morgan, of its girls' club, its men's club3, its library, billiard rooms and gymnasiums, its schools and classes, Its dramatic so ciety and its boys' battalion, which sent 50 volunteers to the Spanish war, have stimulated similar growths all over the city. Dr. Greer's old church on the West side, Grace church, under Dr. Huntington, and scores of smaller churches have paralleled the secular activities that have made St. George's a great civic institution. A Vigorous Irishman. HE man who has done this work is of no ordinsry typs. Of Irish descent, Dr. Rainsford began his career as a street preacher In the slums of Lon don. He is a man of splendid phys ique, big and mus cular, advantages Which be nnnA nut to use by knocking out a bully for wife-beating. Weeks after, when set upon by a gang of Whltcchapcl row dies, he recognized on the edge of the mob his late assailant and supposed that he was in for a beating. "Let 'em all come!" said the bully, ranging himself beside the young mi slonary, back to a wall. "Me an' you can tyke on th' whole bloomln' hout flt, Rainsford." From London Rainsford came to New York, where he campaigned vig orously as a street preacher, and wen his first hearing at St George's. From New York he went to Toronto, later returning to begin here at 40 what proved his life work. His frank rec ognition of the need of recreation, even of excitement in life, as evidenced by his advocacy of the Sunday opening of saloons and the sale of beer In cof fee housfis have scandalized some peo ple, but there are few who do not hope that the suggestion to rebuild as a memorial to him the. beautiful openwork towers of St George's, dam aged by Are, does not mean his per manent retirement. Old Trinity's Children. N A WAY St, George's Is an outshoot of Old Trinity parish When it moved to its present lo- L-c J H fj cation it "sold the T. J J 4 Old St. Oeorirp'a tn Trinity and was Itself at first un der tutelage of that greatest of American par ishes. Trinity la out of the greatest New York land owners. It ranks In this regard c.-'t;r tho AatOi'3 and the Goclets. but ahead Iff km- of Sailors Snog Harbor. Its hnma site and churchyard ard worth $15, 000,000 as real estato, overlooking Wall street as they do; hut worth so much more for an Inspiration? and a break in the sordid monotony that they will never be put to baser uses. Trinity owns $150,000,000 worth of land that la commercially need, how ever. It owns shops, factories, stores some of the liquor stores tenements some of them had tenements; but for this the church is little liable, as lta land is leased for long terms. It sup ports nlns churches. Including bean tlful old 8t Paul's, with iu Christo pher Wren spire and its grave of Montgomery, facing the river and the sunset and turning its back on Broad way. Trinity helps support a dozen other churches that are entirely Inde pendent of Its management, and as many missions. Even this does not exhaust the money. 8o it makes year ly appropriations to different hospitals and to a variety of othef good works, whose extent Is known only to the staff and the vestry. The Trinity properties lie mainly on the West side of Broadway, covering what was long known as tbe Queen's Farm, because Queene Anne, almost two centuries ago gave It to the church. This has not In the past been a very attractive quarter of the city, but with the new tunnels under the Hudson, the chances are that Trinity's Income will double In a comparatively short time. What work such a man as Dr. Rainsford was 20 years ago could do with such a church as Trinity will bo 20 years later on! The Old Mission Preacher. HERE has Just died a man for whom Dr. Rains ford had the greatest rever ence and affec tlon. Mr. Had ley, the evangel ist, had never a title in divinity. He called him self the reformed "Bum." It was the literal truth. He was a reformed drunkard follow ing in the footsteps of a nian worse than merely a drunkard. "Jerry Mc Auley's mission" has a conspicuous sign on Water street. At night it blazes with electric light. Jerry Mc Auley was one of the toughest char acters in the old Fourth ward when he became converted and opened this mission for sailors 30 years ago. It was to Jerry McAuley that Hadley dragged himself fresh from a drunk ard's cell, when he had literally dropped from a fine mercantile posi tion to starvation. - In helping him McAuley helped his successor, for the former tough did not live more than four years longer, and the former drunkard followed him as superintend ent with as odd a crowd as ever won success on the roaring water front It was literally this. "Never despair of a man while he lives." A man could Impose upon Mr. Hadley a dozen times, go to. him for help and pawn his gifts or spend his money for rum. The door was never closed. There was no lecturing, no restraint, no questions, no comments, no promises. An escaped convict could come Into the place, pick up anything he fancied and walk off with It. By-and-by he would be apt to stop, however. It would dawn upon him that there was no limit to Hadley's patience. Results? Nobody knows. A few people some 73,000 have spoken in Hadley's meetings, and announced their determination to live cleaner lives. Nobody knows how large a per centage of tbe army have done so. Nobody seems to trouble much about that. The work will go on. It is easier to find a successor for a Had ley or a Jerry McAuley than it Is to find one for a Rainsford. Simple goodness Is not rare. Politicians Take the Hint. HURCHMEN are not the only givers in New York. Politicians have taken the hint. During the recent and long delayed cold snap Tim Sullivan started giving away shoes. He was helped by Little Tim, Joe Dunn, Ed. Spar- enberg, Kraus the theater man and others of bis lieutenants. .When tho little act of nefgbborllness had been completed, the. weary clerks who were tallying, counted up some 4,500. pairs, with woolen socks to match when these were found' lacking. After tbe first few hundred the socks were invaria bly lacking. Men would stop outside and take them off, carefully putting them In their pockets. If an appli cant was doubtful whether his Bhoes were not to entitle him to another pair, he would borrow a very poor pair from a friend In a near-by saloon. "Everything went;" the men did not need to be so fussy. Tim bad on his blind spectacles. Few of the recipients threw away their' old shoes. There was a reason! Before night was old hundreds of pairs of brand new shoes were in pawn and their owners had tire price of several satisfying drinks and shoes as good as they started thrt day with. What's the use? You would never catch Tlra Sullivan asking that pessl uilstlcal question. And perhaps he's right. Mr, Hadley would never ask what was the use, either. There U a hint in Tim's method, though If you were to go too closely Into his ways of getting the money he spend i !") geuurously yon xnUtht to h-sa edlftVd. r 'ft m V 11 VOL M im M of Hsiico Mexico, Mo., Cepltal stook all paid up $130,000.01 Surplus 123,000.00 Interest paid on all deposits J. A. Guthrie, President; C. F. Clark Vice Presldentr A. D. Jackson, Cashier Directors: W. W. Harper, J. T. John ton, J. A. Guthrie, C. ' YT. Lewis, and O. F.Clark. Dr. W. P. Traughber.Osteopath lo.will beYound in his office, east f postoffice, refy day except Monday and Friday afternoons. Treats acute and chronic caseee Calls answered day or night. Office hoars 8 a. m. to C.p. to. Fhoa 855. C. A. WITKERSPCQi'J, ABSTRACTOR Or . LAND TITLES. c MEXICO - ' M0, vsuice; eouin siae io square. gf Oonuments! It will be to your interest to see ma before placing- aa order for mon ument or anything in the monu mental Jine. Yard and office, Glandon B'ld'fr, Mexico, Mo. Branch office, Vandalia, Mo. JAMES W. GALLAHEB. n.R.LUCKIEi DEALER IN GRANITE, MARBLE, CUTST0NE. ? HARD WOOD MANTELS,! fiRATTS. TTT.VS. FTP ? A. Attorney-At-Law Mexico, . lVIo Southern Bank Building. A. C WHITSON Attqrney-at-Law Will practice in all courts, both State snd Federal. Bonds executed. Patents procured. Notary In office. 1 13 E. Monroe St Mexico, Mo 60 YEARS' EXPERIENCE f . 60 YEARS " 'Ki.. DeaiONS rr?v,M, Copyrights Ac. Anrnne (ending aVetrh and 4wertttlnn my qnk'klr ascertnin our opinion froe wbeilier an luretitlon la probably patentable. Communis. tlonaatrleUrconUdentlul. HANDBOOK on I'ateuta nit free. Oldeat aaency for eocurtiifr patenta. 'alenta taken turouirii aluuu & Co. rnoalTe atrial nulla, without charge, iu tba Scientific Jlt..erica.t A ranrtaomely lllnatntml weekly. T areeat cir culation of any ecleiilldo journal. Term, S3 a (ear: four tuonUie, SL Sold bf all newadealara. . MNj&Co.3a,B New York attain UlDoe, 63S BU WaahUiglwi, IX G, E. ft. SHANNON LAWYER-NOTARY PUBLIC MEXICO, t . MISSOURI J ' ' ' V Will lira all business Droinot atten tion. See him when yflu want No-i try work done. ...! A. M7PATTERS0N. Physician and Druggist, " north west corner Publio Square, r Mexico, Mo. , Full line of Staple Drugs and Druggist's Sundries, . Patent : Medicines, Dye Stuffs, Etc. . A fall assortment of Homoa patliio Medicines always on band. These remedies sent by mail when ordered. , Will do strictly an offloe v prao 'Joa.,' ADVICE FUEH. v - ep uiwMsnnnmpBMR Mi Wise Cow. Th Cow was about to Jump ores the moon. "By tbe way," said the Cow, "I thin I'U wait a moment." ."What forT" asked the Little Do. "Why, perhaps I can carry a slgr m m hank- olallncr that I wear Jum gem Bouncer's rubber hoels." ' Which 'goes to show that the wis Cow was Imbued with the modern Ideas of progreswive advertising. Ch cago Dally News. - Sudden Loss of Faith, s Dr. Pill (at medical meeting) What's the .matter with Dr. Physic to-night? He appears to bs In a terribly bad humor nothing but Impatience, Irascibility, and slurs every time the wonderful progress of medical science is men tioned. . Dr. Powder He has had rheumatism for six weeks, and all his brother physicians who were called in only mada It worse. N. T. Weekly. Behind the Scenes. Old Lady My boy. is It your father who writes so many smart sayings of children? Small Boy Yes, ma'am. . "I suppose he always encourages you to talk," "No,-ma'am. He threatens to thrash me If I even whisper when he is writing his smart things the children have said.' Cassell's Journal. Generosity. "What made you refuse to answer questions in that investigation?" "My dear sir," answered Mr. Dustln Stax, "I am of the people you read about whose time is worth several hundred dollars a minute. Isn't that a sufficient contribution to the occa sion without throwing in valuable in formation?" Washington Star. The Present .Theory.. "This bulldog," said the fancier, "la an ugly looking brute, but he can't fight. While this one (Indicating No. 2) is just the opposite." "Give me the ugly looking one," said the purchaser. "I want him for protec tion, and this is the age of bluff." De troit Free Press. Reversed. Parent (who has received news of hla son's death in the far west) And how did poor William meet his death? Western Friend He didn't meet it at all, sir. The boys had ter chase him ten miles before they could catch him and put the rope round his neckl Casseirs Journal. - . Where Officers Congregate. Towne I understand your new house is only a few doors from a saloon. Browne Yes, it's great! Towne Great? I should think you'd object to that. Browne Not at all. It's aprotectlon; It draws the police. Philadelphia Press. What a Pity. "Why is it that so many people do not care for Shakespeare?" "My dear sir," answered Mr. Storm lngtoh Barnes, "It is a physical Impos sibility for me to show everybody in the world Just how Shakespeare should be played." Washington Star. Hymn and Him. Tess Aren't you going to choir re hearsal to-night? Jes No. "You'd better. We're going to give that new hymn a trial.'' "Can't I'm going to give a new him a trial myself. "Tit-Bits. Better Than Nothing. Gloomy I tried to borrow some money yesterday, and all I got was sympathy. . Cheerup You're lucky! I tried to borrow some money yesterday, and all I got was a frost! Detroit Free Press. Franklin Amended. For want of a nail the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe the horse was lost. For want of a horse thp rider bought an automobile. N. T. Sun. , TEXTS CHIVAXBY. Slgnor Fattoro Ladles, will you have some seat? Chicago Daily News. Hot Times. ' "By the way," asked tho visitor, "when was Philadelphia Bettled?" ."Huh!" grunted the native, "it ain't settled yet. The city party's still shakla' things up.". Philadelphia Press. Capital Punishment. ' "He pleaded guilty to the charge of bigamy." What was his sentence?" : "The juugo gave nun nve hours In a room with his five wives." Houston Post. , . "Financially. "A fellow must be embarrassed, when he meets a member of tlje royal family." "I should say so! -. I met four kluge last night and I am euibarrass-ed yet." Houston Post. JJovel Effect Khk'krr--Si) Joih;b hiiii a now Moa for opera? .... - Ikjcl.ti' Yes; his notion. Is to Lave tho bonne tliig ami pio fiuit tulJi. N Y. Sua. ' '