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MEXICO MISSOURI MESSAGE. MEXICO. MISSOURI. MR. JONES HAD RIGHT IDEA 111! m 3IDELIGftIS Women Chauffeurs Operate the Big Army Busses WASHINGTON. 'Running short of men, the civil service commission, under, war necessity, appointed women chauffeurs to operate the big ermy: bosses that tarry passengers having business with the government to the' various departments. Two Washington girls to receive appointments to the women's motor corps of the govern-', ment are Miss Esther Treger, 44 Dean avenue, and Mrs. Louise Torbert 2114 II street northwest. "I Blmply couldn't, stand those knitting-knocking clubs. You know what I mean ; those women who go to the theater all dolled tip with their knitting. All they do Is to 'knock' their friends." This Is the explanation from Mrs. 'Torbert 'of why she decided to "turn the wheel" for Uncle Sam Instead of taking up clerical work or Ited Cross work. "It was Just born in me," said her sister chauffeurette. "I have driven the Machine for my mother and father ever since we have had a machine. In fact, my father can't run it He left it all to me," said Miss Treger. who la eighteen, the youngest member of the 'women's motor corps. Both chauffeurettes make 14 trips n day between the quartermaster's office, Seventeenth and F streets, to the war department annex. Sixth and B streets. They cover about 30 miles a day, guiding their busses right through the heart of the business section or what they call the "traffiekest" section. Mrs. Torbert, who gives $15 out of her monthly earnings as chauffeurette to the Red Cross, said: "Oh, I love my work. I shoot on the gas, throw in the clutch and Just spin through the city. It would be Paradise if the people just .wouldn't walk la f rent of the bus." "The hardest part of the work Is the Btopplng every 20 minutes at the 'end of the routes," said Miss Treger, "and no lunch time. Like Dsn, we take a bite whenever we can get it." ItS A LONG TALI an ai CUT IT SHORT' 7iV . XT. . SS ft trcw mohxeitcnp MTHEWORlft If ST TIRE PAKHI Blind People Eager to Aid in Winning the War Or COURSE the old fellow at the Home for the Blind, 3050 R street, north west, who would not turn his watch forward when the daylight-savings law went into effect, had scruples against "changing Gods time," but every one of the 18 Inmates of the Home, O CIVE tot- THINC TO Bf TH AW UT KAISER HASKT A FRIEND IH TH' WOULD most of them over fifty years old, are of one accord. And that Is that the war must be won at any sacrifice and they are doing and will continue to do what they can to help bring the kaiser to his knees. Mrs. Louise Wlckert, a Washing ton womnn who has been totally blind for the last 20 years and who has been at the home for the last six years, Is the premier war worker of the blind family. To date Mrs. Wlckert has knitted thirteen sweaters, seventeen scarfs and three pair of wristlets. Mrs. Ruble Nowlin, also of Washington, has completed ten sweaters, three scarfn and eleven pairs of wristlets. While the women sit In their work room, knittiug, making baskets and doing plain sewing, the men industriously "work at ennlug chairs. All talk about the war. One of the treasures of a blind man is his watch. Then came the daylight- savings law and every clock in the nation was set forward an hour. Every clock but Those at the Home for the Blind. The dinner bell there rang at exactly the same time. Six o'clock .was six o'clock. To please them the matron ?ld not change the big clock on the wall. Then one day not long ago Mrs. Josephine Jacobs, president of the Aid Association for the Blind of the District of Columbia and head of the lioine, made a visit and discovered, to her amazement, that every clock and watch In the house was "slow." Some of the Inmates explained that "they didn't see any sense In the fool law." Mrs. Jacobs then made a patriotic little peech about saving daylight and bow It was helping win the war. With a will every timepiece was turned forward but one. The old fellow with his watch didn't believe la "getting mixed up." The Hoover program of food conservation Is closely followed. Nothing Is wasted. Victory bread and sugar allowances have come into as much favor with these blind patriots as with everyone else helping to win the war. f Unto Ummtmim Tha dealer who has achieved blir suc cess does not waste his time, energy and money trying to sell unknown accessories. He knows that cheap accessories are a speculation, pure and simple, both for he and his customers. He Is not willing; to put himself In the class with the makers of products that are "Just as good." He banks on a steady, consistent turnover, Moco Monkey Grip the one established patch, the one that Is universally accept ed as standard. This famous tire patch has been tested by Impartial experts and pronounced perfect in performance. It withstands the frictlonal heat generated under any conditions of service. If your dealer does not handle, order direct, pre paid if money accompanies, order, put up n two size cans only. M sauare inches $1.00, 10S square Inches 11.75. Manmfactand only for th Moco Laboratories, Inc. Oklahoma City, Okla. tr WRITS rOM FREK SAMPkl Kill All Files! THM?rB rtaetduirirkOT, Dflltty riy Klllr attracts tod ktltt . V"" mil p an. im ' ft tnetei. can't p4U at ftt-Kl affectf. Ak for L... I'SL.'.J.'TrZl'i . ...mr Daisy Fly Killer MMli SQMCSS, IM M MlM avE 'moOKLYM, H. Y. Some Statesmen and Many 6oldirt Fully Agree With the Gentleman From Atlanta. George Washington Jones, late of Atlanta, wns making his first trip frontward on a supply wagon with not much farther to go when, from the side of the road, a camouflaged American battery broke forth thunder ously, sending a few 300-pound tokens over the line to Fritz. The ground trembled from the salvo, but not any more than George as he Jumped from his high seat to the road. The American artillery officer in charge of the battery crossed over to the road. . "Scared?" he demanded. "Well." snld Oeorge, "Ah was slight ly agitated at fuRt. Ah suttlngly was. But keep hlght on. Dat'a the only way to win tils wah flah dem guns." Of Two Evil. "Never change lawyers!" The speaker was Senator Thomas of Colorado. "No matter how greedily your law yer may be bleeding you," he said, "don't change him. Remember the old horse. "An old horse stood under a tree patiently, though he was all covered with horse flies. A kind-hearted man went up to brush the flies away, but the old horse said: " 'Hold on, sir. Don't disturb those files. They're nearly full. Drive them off, and a frenh lot will come, more hungry than the last.'" Those Girls. "That floppy hat Is becoming to you." "But It hides my face." "I said It wus becoming." Don't lose hope! Trachoma kept this young lady practically blind for months. Again and again the words, "Blind for life!" rang through her ears. "Blind for lifel" She lost hope, for everything tried had failed. Then came new hope, and confidence, when she was told or the HALEY TREATMENT for Trachoma, Granulated Lids, Ulcers and Chronic Sore Eyes. . What a difference is shown in the two pictures the lower one taken when she came here and the upper taken just before she returned home. And her case Is but one of hundreds of similar cases 8'ocetfully treated by thi institution. Possibly we can save you from "a life in darkness." Why not find out today now just writs Haley Eye Infirmary CENTRALIA. ILL. Bids' His I " Heartless Papa. "What did pnpa say?" asked the bright spot of his life, breathlessly, as her hero came limping out of papa's studio after an Interview. "He didn't say much," returned her bright spot, mournfully, "but I wish I were as unfeeling ns he Is." Quite Natural. Proph "Why do they call this arm bone the humerus?" Soph "Probably because It's next to the funny bone." Earth's total land area Is placed at 33,123,171,200 acres, of which forests rover 8.0!7.310.S'.!7 acres. USE ITS A LAUNDRY TICKET, , y4wp3L CfTvl fTCAfiT . . T fiSFtMi 3 ir Conductor Felt He Must Draw the Line Somewhere WASHINGTON street car conductors, being human, and suffering from the Jamming of the cars along with the passengers, often are quite grouchy. Yon caa't blame them. It isn't a bit of fun to be crowded into a street car so tight you can't move, and when you have got to fight your way to and fro to collect fares it makes a pretty tough job. Of course, it's your Job, so you have to make the best of it. There is one conductor in town who has de termined to make the best of It evi dently, for he is about as good hu mored a man as you can find any place, in any job. He usually has all the people on the car- laughing all the . time. He can't make 'em "move up front, please" for some mysterious reason Washlngtonians will not move up In front but lie does keep 'em smiling, and that la something. From his place of rest at the crank of the door-opening device he sends forth good cheer both fore and aft ' A. man got on the car the other morning. He was in a hurry, and his" xnlad waa occupied with the big problems of the day, of this age filled with some of the biggest problems the world has ever known. "Tickets, please," said the Jovial conductor. The man reached down Into his pocket, felt for a ticket, and reached It forth to the conductor. "I can't take that," said the conductor. "I just had a man present me with an ice cream soda check. I might have used that, and I will take a ram. check to the baseball game, but I won't take a Chinese laundry ticket" : Millionaire Peeling Potatoes in Camp Kitchen T 'WAS Nelson Morris, multimillionaire packer In Chicago, but it's Private a nelson Morris, K. p. (kitchen policeman) at Camp Meigs, where the twen-ty-elght-year-old head of the great Nelson Morris & Co., packers, Is wearing the . khaki and hardening his muscles GEE ! AN DOLLARS THM A DOtf HAS HMR. . : preparatory to doing his bit along , with other young Americans. About the time Morris was direct ed to come to Washington as a refrig eration expert in the quartermaster department where he had volunteered for service at one dollar a year, his number was reached in the draft and he was sent to Camp Grant, Itockford, Illinois. After a brief stay at Camp Grant, however, Morris was ordered to report to Washington. He was assigned to duty as kitchen policeman, reporting for duty at 0 a. m. to peel potatoes or prepare other food for the meals of! the soldiers. During off hours, Morris, cut firewood and engaged In other useful work about the camp. A period of guard duty followed for the young soldier-packer, and he has' gone at his duties with a vim that has made his comrades in arms remark that "he is just like the rest of us and one would never believe he was a millionaire." - ' . ' Private Morris' wealth has not proved a burden since his entry Into army life. He bus fallen into the routine of the camp in good spirits uud bis su perior officers have made no exceptions nor concessions when retailing the Jay's duties for the various privates lu camp. Are the Packers Profiteers? Plain Facts About the Meat Business The Federal Trade Commission in its recent report on war profits, stated that the five large meat packers have been profiteering and that they bavo a monopoly of the market. These conclusions, if fair and just, are matters of serious concern not only to those engaged in the meat packing business but to every other citizen of our country. The figures given on profits are misleading and the state ment that the packers have a monopoly is unsupported by the facts. The packers mentioned in the report stand ready to prove their profits reasonable and necessary. The meat business is one of the largest American indus tries. Any citizen who would familiarize himself with its details must be prepared for large totals. The report states that the aggregate profits of four largs packers were1 $140,000,000 for the three war years. This sum is compared with $19,000,000 as the average annual profit for the three years before the wsr, making it appear that the war profit was $121,000,000 greater than the pre-war profit. e This compares a three-year profit with a one-year profit a manifestly unfair method of comparison, ft is not only misleading, but the Federal Trade Commission apparently has made a mistake in the figures themselves. Ths aggregate three-year profits of $140,000,000 was earned on sales of over four and a half billion dollars. It means about three cents on each dollar of sales or a mere fraction of cent per pound of product. Packers' profits are a negligible factor in prices of live stock and meats. No other large business it conducted upon such small margins of profit. Furthermore and this is very important only a small portion of this profit has been paid in dividends. The balance has been put back into the businesses. It had to be, as you realize when you consider the problems the packers have had to solve and solve quickly during these war years. To conduct this business in war times, with higher costs and the necessity of paying two or three times the former prices for live stock, has required the use of two or three times the ordinary amount of working capital The" addi tional profit makes only a fair return on this, and as has been stated, the larger portion of the profits earned has been used to finance huge stocks of goods and to provide additions and improvements made necessary by the enor mous demands of our army and navy and the allies. If you are a business man you will appreciate the signifi cance of these facts. If you are unacquainted with busi ness, talk this matter over with some business acquaint ance with your banker, say and ask him to compare profits of the packing industry with those of any other large industry at the present time. No evidence is offered by the Federal Trade Commission in support of the statement that the large packers have a monopoly. The Commission's own report chows the large number and importance of other packers. The packers mentioned in the statement stand ready to prove to any fair-minded person that they are ir keen competition with each other, and that they have no power to manipulate prices. If this were not true they would not dare to make this positive statement. Furthermore, government figures show that the five large packers mentioned in the report account for only about one-third of the meat business of the country. They wish it were possible to interest you in the details of their business. Of how, for instance, they can sell dressed beef for less than the cost of the live animal, owing to utilization of by-products, and of the wonderful story of the methods of distribution throughout this broad land, as well as in other countries. The five packers mentioned feel justified in co-operating with each other to ths extent of together presenting this public statement ' They have been able to do a big job for your government in its time of need; they have met all war time demands promptly and completely and they are willing to trust their case to the fairmindedne6S of the American people with the facts before them. Armour & Company Cudahy Packing Co. Morris & Company Swift & Company Wilaon & Company tl 7