Brewery Gulch gazette. [volume], February 16, 1950, Page PAGE TWO, Image 2

About Brewery Gulch gazette. [volume] (Bisbee, Ariz.) 1931-1987

Image provided by: Arizona State Library, Archives and Public Records; Phoenix, AZ

                
PAGE TWO
HAMILTON SEZ:
All women are divided into
seven parts. . . . No, not exactly
, . . what I mean is that all worn
enkind are divided into seven
kinds. That is to say that the ex
perts on the contrary sex agree
that there are seven kinds of
women and seven subdivisions of
each kind. But the experts also
agree that no two experts can
decide in which category or sub
category to place any one of the
one thousand million females that
inhabit this, the planet Earth.
Therefore we will start with
the established fact that there are
seven kinds of women.
But the important function of
Imenm this learned
discussion is to
indicate to the
gentler sex, in
■I this pleasing
and sugarcoat
ed manner, that
M all men, that is
311 good ^6“
I (and all men
Hi are good) need
exactly seven wives. Seven wives,
no more and no less.
Scientific research has de
veloped the proposition that no
wife will ever have the least fear
of losing her husband if she can
produce for her husband on the
seven wife basis.
In fact it is just those wives
that specialize that wind up in
Alimony Alley. And if every girl
now married or in the process of
landing a man . . . will carefully
follow these simple directions as
unrolled here she will never lose
her man.
Now the first consideration is
that no man likes bakers’ bread
or to have his carrots taken out
of a can ... in fact he doesn’t
like carrots. Men also like to
break their false teeth on pop
corn but not on biscuits. The log
ical deduction is that every wife
should be a fine, economical
cook, the kind of cook that cooks
stuff to eat . . . not to look at. Men
like com bread and roast leg of
lamb . . . not fancy stuff outa
SALE!
save money!
save face!
TUSSY
CLEANSING
CREAMS
$1.75 size now
SI.OO
$3 size now $1.95
(plus tax)
EMULSIFIED
CLEANSING
CREAM
Ideal for dry skins. Rich
in lanolin.
PINK
CLEANSING
CREAM
Refreshing for normal and
oily skins. Gives skin a
fresher look.
Ball Drug Store
Telephone 307 Main Street
Make Mine Meat
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u MIkWAUKEE, WIS. —• Cake or steak? One of a Milwaukee zoo’s
Hons “Shorty’’ had his 11th birthday here today so his keeper thought
he rated a cake. Promptly Shorty got his cake and the people pressed
around his cage eager to witness his appreciation, but what happened?
Shorty just gave his customary roar and settled back to his customary
diet of raw meat, which also was placed in the cage.
cook books like green pistachio
nut salad.
Thirdly—Men like a little ro
mance. They like the kind of wife
that other men whistle at . . .
that is if they weren’t afraid her
husband would put a dent in their
smellers. Men like to be adored,
to be listened to attentively, to
be acclaimed the brain trust
around the homestead. They want
a wife with soft hands, with dim
ples, a school girl complexion
and an ever present smile.
In the fourth place, a married
man with the responsibility of
supporting the family needs a
business partner, especially one
that will take over many of the
unhappy details that enter into
bringing home the bacon. A far
mer likes to have a wife that not
only can but will milk the cow or
cows, and that can run the tractor
for at least one shift a day. A man
running a service station, a flour
mill, a foundry or a sawmill should
have a wife that can take over
whenever he must be away at con
ventions.
Fifthly—Men like companion
ship . . . they like to have the best
of food when taking a well earned
vacation. Men like women that
insist on going with them after
elk, deer, trout, pheasants and
What’s Happened to Prefab Housing?
HF•< ”
-'iWir- I
Bsk** J
KL-— ——MUM R
I « Th
i * w- m
Jf- ‘
Taxpayers are demanding an answer to the prefab housing situ-)
t ation while the housing shortage continues acute everywhere and a!
7% decrease in building is predicted for 1950. In asking what happened l
to housing like the unit above, it’s possible the answer may be con
, tained in what happened to House Resolution 393, which calls* for an
investigation of Lustron Corporation of Ohio. HR 393 was introduced)
I by Albert M. Cole (Rep.) Kansas. Cole, inset above, a native of Tdpeka.l
। Kas., represents the first Kansas district, and is a member of the im
portant banking and currency committee. 4
Surveying the prefab history shows: Prior to the war—some talk.
Planning during the war. Promises after the war. 4
Some private manufacturers are doing the job and are producing
houses in the promised price brackets. Lustron became a congressional
storm center last summer when its president, Carl G. Strandlund.
Columbus, Ohio, told a House committee he launched the corporation
into the prefabricated housing industry with SI,OOO of his own money
and $37% million borrowed from the RFC. An RFC official has an
nounced that RFC lending to Lustron has been halted. 1
Lustron’s program of color advertising and reams of publicity of
a 5-room house at $7,000 resulted in a suggestion of scandal, a unit
price at twice that amount in Chicago, and since has abated into aU
quiet. Perhaps prompt action on the Cole resolution will give the much
in demand answer to the question above. * ~—
BREWERY GULCH GAZETTE
ducks. Men like their women to
enjoy exactly the same kind of
sports and entertainment that
they like themselves . . . and no
other kind. If a man likes to ride
horseback, his wife should also
ride. If a man likes prize fights
in preference to bridge it should
be prize fights. If the man is a
great lover of dogs, the home
should have dogs.
Sixth—All men are very fond
of other men, and as it happens
sometimes these other men have
wives. It is necessary for all men
to like the wives of the men they
like, therefore it is essential that
all wives like the wives of the
men their husbands like. This
sounds very simple, but in ac
tual married life it has never
really happened.
Seventh—The obvious purpose
of marriage, that the man may
have sons to leave his business to,
should not be overlooked. All men
want large families of at least
three sons, and it is the duty of
the little wife of course to carry
on her part of the matrimonial
bargain, to produce, raise, teach
and deliver to her lord said three
sons . . . and as many girls as just
happen to arrive in the process,
polished and accomplished, ready
to take over the work from the
BISBEE, ARIZONA, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1950
old man while he continues to
furnish the brains.
Sometimes the demands upon
the little woman would seem to be
a little rough, but then she asked
for it. As for example, a tourist
was in from Nebraska looking at
the “Store with No Front” (Ham
ilton’s) and I asked him what his
racket was.
He said that he was half-re
tired. I asked him what’s that,
half-retired. “Well,” he says, "We
were married 32 years ago, we
had four kids . . . they’re all mar
ried now and away from home. I
worked all them years supporting
the family . . . and all the little
wife done was to take it easy
around the house raising them
kids. So I’ve done retired now
and I’ve turned the business over
to her for the next 32 years. And
I’m doing the resting and taking
it easy at home.”
C. A. HAMILTON,
Weiser, Idaho.
SAGEBRUSH SALVE
By Mac
Just got the last issue of the
Desert Rat Scrap Book published
by Harry Oliver at Thousand
Palms, California; that guy’s al
ways making me trouble. He re
prints a couple of little stories
from the GAZETTE that were
written by S. Omar Barker and
now I’ve got to send him a dime
so he can send the paper (the only
paper you can open in the wind)
to Barker. Then he prints some
of those little rhymes that George
Bideaux puts at the head of his
column in the GAZETTE entitled
“Down in Cochise County,” and I
have to send him another dime so
he can send one to George. He
gives credit to the paper he copied
them from which helps some even
if he didn’t mention my name.
Lots of great people were born
in February including John L.
Lewis whose 70th birthday was
last Sunday. Margaret Truman,
who lives in the big white house
on Pennsylvania avenue in Wash
ington, was born in Independence,
Missouri 26 years ago this month.
Her father was county judge of
Jackson County, Missouri, at that
time; he was a friend of the well
known political figure Honest
Tom Pendergast. George Wash
ington, Abraham Lincoln and
Thomas A. Edison were born in
February.
Buck Elliott, manager of the
L Redecorate your car 1
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HARDWARE DEPARTMENT
Bisbee-Douglas Baseball Club,
Inc., is a friend of H. Allen Smith
who wrote the book, “We Went
Thataway,” in which the humorist
tells of his adventures in Bisbee.
Buck said he was very much inter
ested in Smith’s tour of Brewery
Gulch with the editor of the GA
ZETTE as his guide and he be
lieved every 'word of it. I was
much more interested in his tour
of Agua Prieta with Percy Bow
den, perennial chief of police of
Douglas. Buck says he has read
all of Smith’s books, a chore we
haven’t got around to yet.
One of the columnists who wrote
for this paper quite a while back
made the crack that the BREW
ERY GULCH GAZETTE would
become famous just about the time
that the editor died. It finally
got a raise out of one of our read
ers back in Massachusetts, who
wrote: “Dick Wick Hall, who got
out that little paper in Salome,
Arizona years ago, became famous
and was just about to cash in
(financially, that is) by getting his
stuff printed in the Saturday Eve
ning Post when he cashed in his
chips. No one need worry about
you (McKinney) or the GAZETTE
becoming famous; you should live
so long. Already you are infam
ous.”
Oh, yeah! Izzat so!
“Come in, Old Timer,” said the
Bartender in the Slag Dump
Cocktail Lounge and Social Cent
er as the old guy hesitated at the
door. “Come in and give me the
dope of what you know that ain’t
fit to print; you can spill it to me,
you know it won’t go no farther.”
“We’ve been having a little spell
of weather,’ said the Old Gazabo,
“And so I thought I’d venture out
and enjoy it. This thing of hav
ing summer in the winter time
don’t go over so hot with me and
OdKf •
Gary Cooper in “Task Force”
at the Lowell Friday thru Sunday.
they are specially processed for
maximum fade-resistance.
Textilenb Sunsurb seat cov
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to slide over. They’re cool ia
summer. And they laugh at the
sun!