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I' 1 if if li?« ft* p*" Winter Wheat Have just harvested my winter wheat and wish other farmers could see the crop raised on my (arm this yar. The Famous TURKEY RED Variety, Recom mended by the Best Arthorities, Pays Better than raising spring wheat. It yields better. Hot weather does not effect it and it is ready for harvest before spring wheat is ripe. 1 will have more than 2,000 Bushels to sell for S E E Seed it right in the stubble. Saves plowing. You will want some this year. Order your seed now from JAMES A. ELLIOTT New England, N. D. BEACH For the County Seat Make this your battle cry Help Your Wife Buy the A. B. C. Power Washer and make her happy 1 [j .fallow"1 Come in and see it work I N E Agents for Rumley Products BEACH, N. DAK THE PROOF OF THE CROP IS IN THE HARVEST. Our farm lands in this section have proven their most excellent producing value in bringing forth the 1914 crop. Our Farmers are to be congratulated upon their season's work. The harvest this year will result in better prices for land, and an influx of buyers. The First National Bank is amply able to assist our farmers in marketing their grain and will welcome any opportunity to be of helpful service. First National Bank "HARVEST" HEADQUARTERS Beach, N. Dak vfwwvmvvfffMiffviviim N E I GOVERNMENT SUPERVISION MEMBER BANK UNDER FEDERK RESERVE ACT fr""1 PLEADING HIS NEPHEW'S CAUSE What Happened to a Man Who Wooed For Another. •Tu'.'lo, I wnnt your assistant e." "What's tile matter. Joe?" "You know Ellen Pickering?" "Yes: a lovely girl." "I want her. She is a very advan tageous match. Help me to get her." "ILow can I help youV" "Uncle, you are devoted to her moth er—don't deny it—and the widow is devoted to you. Your intiuence will turn the scale In my favor." "l'ooh, boy: Do you suppose a man of forty-live, an old bach, is a proper person to interfere in love affairs? Be sides, are you sure Miss Pickering wishes to marry you?" "No. I wish your Intercession with her too." "Very well: I will see what I can do." The next evening Major Joseph Stone, feeling in honor bound to keep iiis pledge to his nephew, called at Mrs. Pickering's. "I have come to plead a cause." be said nervously. "Your daughter is a lovely woman, and I have come with reference to a proposal—from one— whose heart"— The major broke down. "Indeed!" The lady looked curious and pleased. "lie may be a little off as to age"— "That would be no objection. I as sure you." "Then his income is very limited but, you see. I"— "I see very clearly, major. The in come is of no consequence. My daugh ter is very well off. What she wishes is a man she can respect and love and be proud of. The hero of'— "Pardon me. Heroism has nothing"— "Not another word, major. Modesty is the most charming of qualities. You will find Ellen in the music room." The major disappeared in the music room, and at the same moment Miss Pickering opened the door of the par lor, where she bad left her mother. "Oh, Ellen, I thought you were in there! Your hero has come to propose for you. Fortunate girl! He is re turning. I will leave you here." And as the major re-entered the mother dis appeared. "Mamma was mistaken, major. Here 1 am." "I am glad to see you looking so charming, for a woman cauuot well look charming without feeling clnirui iug. This will make easier a delicate mission I have to execute." "I am listening." "1 came to plead a cause, the cause of one who loves you." "Oh. major!" dropping her eyes. "Yet one who admits that he needs some friend to help him." "lie needs no one but my mother. If she is pleased there is no one else to be considered." "Your mother sent me to you. wish ing me success. She has noticed the drift of this affair, and she will be de lighted with the match. You see. you have every good quality, while the man. though a trifle young for you"— "Ha. ha! What a pleasant irony! The man is just the age I would choose. You know I am a young thing of twenty-eight." "He has many estimable qualities. I can assure you." "Oh. major, how you amuse me! A triflcr! You are stumbling along as you stumbled up Han Juan hill." "That was an easy job compared with this," taking out his handkerchief and willing the perspiration. "I always said, major, even when a little girl, that 1 would marry none hut a hero." "That's too bad," disappointedly. "The heroism in this case—the heroism of physical courage—has never yet been proved, but I dare say upon op portunity"— "You dear major! You say that as innocently as If it were really true. Doubtless you think it so. The great est heroes are the least aware of their heroism. One thing I will admit— tie cause a man is a military hero it doesn't follow that he has courage in telling a woman he loves her." "I confess there is some cowardice In this case. A man should not em ploy any one but himself to plead his cause with a woman." "But mamma doesn't count, you know. Yon can't be accused of cow ardice for speaking to her first. Ma jor. you are as utterly unfitted for a proposition of this kind as you proved yourself fitted to lead men in battle." "Well. then, to cut the matter short, you accept?" "I do. most assuredly." "Then, having nothing more to do. I shall wish you a very good evening and much happiness." moving away. "Nothing more to do. major?" draw ing very near and looking up at him reproachfully. "Nothing whatever. It's ail settled." "Then I have something to do." Throwing her arms about the major, she drew bis face down till his lips were within an inch of her own. "I know you love me. dear major, though you bave been too blundering to tell me so. and I love you dearly." "By thunder!" exclaimed the major internally, then externally: "Love you! I have loved you since you were a child." "Confound that uncle of mine!" said Joe Stone. Jr.. shortly after to a friend. "I sent him to plead my cause with a girl, and he got her for himself.' Father In the library Reading daily news: Mother in the nursery Fixing baby's shoes. When they heard the laughter Of the little cooks Both stood in the doorway With inquiring looks. "When the cako is finished All of us will sing. 'Isn't that a dainty dish To set before a king?' —Philadelphia Ledger. Odd and Evan. His Wife—I don't want you to be coming home at sudj oj(j hour. Hus band—All right, deai.f pn try to make It 4 instead ot tin. 3.-I.hlja(ieiphla GOLDEN VALLEY CHRONICLE SAVING THE PLAY Actors Are Often Called Upon to Exercise Quick Wit. SOME CURIOUS EXPERIENCES. Rose Eytinge Once Extemporized the Entire Part of Lady Isabel In "East Lynne"—How John Brougham Made a Hit Without Hie Leading Lady. Quick wit baa saved many an embar rassing situation, turned many a seem ingly disastrous failure into success Politics, literature, courtesy, all are served by quick tongue and ready word. Actors, as well as business men. have special use for quick wit, BO often do they need help out of a difficulty dur ing the play, a college performance was saved from wreckage by one of the young actors. One of the cast, a boy easily up«et, had Just given bis line, "All I need is an advertisement," when half of his stage mustache fell off. "Oh, no," said the ready youth be side him, seeing bis embarrassment "what you need Is a hair restorer." And under cover of the laughter the victim had a chance to recover himself. It was surely the same readiness that enabled Itose Eytinge to go through one of the most extraordinary experiences any actress ever bad In San Francisco she was once asked to fill Mary Anderson's place at short notice, appearing with tiie local stock company. The play was to be "East Lynne." By singular chance, no prompt book could be found, nor could they secure a copy of the novel. Miss Ey tinge protested that It would be im possible for her to play, as she had never so much as seen the piece. That fact they refused to believe. More over, to add to her difficulty, though all the company claimed to know the old drama backward, no one seemed to have an idea of the lines she, ar Lady Isabel, would have to speak. "Oh. that'll be all right," said John McCullough, the manager, to whom she appealed. "Just you sob and look sorry,' and it will go." So Miss Eytinge, rather than cause the loss of closing the theater, went on totally unprepared to act in an abso lutely unfamiliar play. Tom Keene. the Archibald Carlisle, instructed her In tlje proper emotion from scene to s«'ene. "Now site's a jealous cat, a jealous cat," he would whisper. "Now she's kitteny." "Now she's sorry she was such a fool." "Now she wants her youi.g oues." "Now she up and dies." The performance seemed to cause en tire satisfaction to the auiience. and McCullough, as he generously handed over half the receipts to the heroine of the hour, declared, "Well, you may have had to vamp that part, but I've often seen it played with less soul." Tiie story of an experience demand ing similar readiness of wit is told of John Brougham, the early American comedian and playwright On one oc casion, when his own clever burlesque, "Pocahontas," had been billed and the house sold out in advai.ee, the leading actress left without warning to take another position in Baltimore. The au dience had assembled before her ab sence was discovered by the manager and star. As It was that play or noth ing, Brougham, who was famed for his witty impromptu speeches, went before the curtain and suggested giving the piece without Pocahontas. lie recalled the old story of the actor who played Hamlet so execrably that on the fol lowing night the tragedy was given with that character omitted by request. "Now, if 'Hamlet' can be acted wiili out the hero," he remarked, "why T?iv not Pocahontas' without the heroine? Of course you are all aware of the fact that 'Pocahontas' is a much greater play than 'Ilamlet.' Even if you do not know that. I do. and I ought to, for I wrote it myself. Are you willing to try it?" "Go ahead?' came the cries from the audience, who settled themselves back to see the result. The burlesque proceeded as usual until the entrance music was played for Pocahontas: then, turning toward the audietice. Brougham, as Powhatan, sadly began: "Ladies and gentlemen, that sweet strain Is supposed to bring my daughter Pocahontas on the stage. You are already aware that she is In the city of Baltimore, and the stern law of the laud will not permit a Chris tian, much less a savage, to be in two places at once. Thus does the law protect that most useful instrument, the alibi. However, if Poky were here she would hasten to say*'— Whereupon the comedian gave her lines in exact Imitation of the missing actress, keep ing up the dialogue in two persons all through the play. The delighted peo ple who were fortunate enough to be present declared that Brougham waa avenged. O. P. Huntley tqlls of an incident that took place at an east side theater in Londoti. The "gods" were booing the piece and throwing chunks of bread at the performers. At last the star came forward and said: "Now, look here! We're trying our best to amuse you. Throw bread, if you like hut." be added as he stopped and picked up a chunk, "thank heaven I'm not too proud to eat it." The gods were vanquished.—Anna Bird Stewart in New York Tribune. Labor conquers all things. It is Idle ness that is the curse of man—not la bor. Nothing is impossible to Indus' try.—Motto ot Periander. Smith's Boat Tops Record. The closing day's racing of the seventh annual Mississippi Valley as sociation saw Baby Speed Demon, owned by A. C. Smith of Algonac. Mich., equal and outdo the American records set up by Kitty Hawk VI., vwned by H. H. Bulle Timken. Canton. O. ii is iv ii on Newspaj.--r I'atu nt Daily or Sun day?—Chicago N'ivs. Not th? Psa-on. "They iisued ,.i«' ti i.u-i. eption. but it wasn't because tlie.v liked me. It was only because 1 can sing." "Oh. I'm sure you're mistaken."— Cincinnati Commercial Tribute. Hard to Convince. A "I'm afraid. ..oit'i love me with all yi.ur termer r." "Sure I do.' he replied. "Didn't I bring you 10 cents' wort!', peanut brittle?"—Chicago lie. o,d-Herald. Well, Listen to That. "Do you know how to make bread rise without yeast?" "No. How?" "Send It up in the dumbwaiter."— Pittsburgh Press. Sufficient Cause. "He married her because her first husband left ber." "Why, that was hardly a good rea son to marry a woman." "He left ber $000,000."—Philadelphia Record. "Good Fellows." "I thought you and he were friends?" "No." "But I saw you the other night when you had your arms around each other." "That wasn't friendship. We were mer*ly going over the story we intend ed to tell our wive*."—Chicago Record Herald. 8ay Mobs Stalled. The four miles, two up and two down stream, were traveled at an aver- Contrariwise. age speed of 53.54 miles an hour. Her j* Beat—Tell t&e gentleman I'm fastest lap averaged 54.54 miles as not receiving today, Nora. New Maid hour. —But he ain't osliverin', mum he's collectin'i—Puck. The boxing commission of Montana has taken action regarding boxers who "stall" In bouts. The commission held up the receipts of the recent Dillon Moba contest on the ground that Moha did not do his best. It is hard to be lieve that Bob would be guilty of de lllerately trying to ••stall." for in near ly all bis battles he has worked bard. C. G. F. J. Imperial Gas Tractor and Giant Shock Loader MR. THRESHER: Buy a shock loader and save one-third the labor. The Giant Shock Loader will pay for itself every year you use it. It will pick the grain up better than it can be done by hand pitching. JOHNSON, Beach, N. Dak. ESSENE, CYLINDERS Gas or Steam Rebored or ground PISTONS FRIDAY AUGUST 14, 1914 WISCONSIN CAFE Place has been remodeled and new Fixtures and Booths installed. It is now in First Class Shape—Good Cooking and Good Service. WE ALWAYS HAVE Plenty Money on hand for real estate loans. If you want a loan you will do well to see us as we are the oldest and best established loan agency in this territory. We will give any prepayment privileges. WE WRITE ALL KINDS OF INSURANCE. PIESIK LAND & LOAN CO. B. T. PIESIK, Manager Machine Shop GARAGE Made to order any kind RINGS All sizes BRASS FOUNDARY Aluminum and Brass Casting* George Give trial. Agent Wildes Bros. LIVERY, FEED & SALES STABLE Special attention given to the Farmer trade. Man always at barn. Opposite Farmers' Elevator VETERINARY IN CONNECTION Proprietor .• and GEARS Spur or Bevel cut to otder by Cyilodial System BUSHINGS Bronze or Babbitt PATTERNS Wood or Metal AUTO REPAIRING Tires, Sundries, Storage BLACKSMITHING M. Stockwell Co. Blanche Street Beach, N. D.