The nonpartisan leader. [volume], March 08, 1920, Image 2

About The nonpartisan leader. [volume] (Fargo, N.D.) 1915-1921

Image provided by: State Historical Society of North Dakota

                
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MINNEAPOLIS, HINN.
TOURING CAR GIVEN
The good old dictionary is some
times just as useful as "Who's Who."
Here are the results of two of our in
vestigations:
Palmer—A religious faker a wood
louse.
Langur—A dark-haired monkey, es
pecially noted for its ability to leap
from place to. place and foif its noisi
ness.
irj
Senator Penrose says only a "good
Republican" can be nominated for the
presidency at Chicago.
knows one?
NATURALLY IN THESE
TIMES, A STILL HAS TO BE
ON THE QUIET.
It will be time pretty soon to move
the cellar stock into the coal bin so
you can reach the lawn mower.
There are a lot of receptive can
didates and about as many de
ceptive platforms.
In the interests of economy, con
gress has passed back the railroads,i
which will mean a half billion dollars
boost in freight rates.
A tippler who lived in New York,
While attempting to pull out a cork,
Cut and Dried
The whisky war up in northern
Michigan seems to argue a "PQW'- A"
ful kick."
The Sims-Daniels debate seems to
have churned up about as much mud
as a Mississippi sidewheeler on a
sandbar.
THEY MAY DEPORT THE
"REDS" BUT RED TAPE WILL
STAY WITH US. 1
It costs the government $50,000,000
to keep dry. But the price of rubbers
still jgoes up.
J,
MOTOR GOOSE"
There was a crooked man and he
drove a crooked mile,
And he ran into a fencepost and they
scraped him off the pile.
cu tu
But^whof ',And
When women get to throwing
their hats in the ring, they'll
make sure it isn't a last year's
1
Looks like they ought to give dis-'
tinguished service medals to men who
can hold down cabinet jobs for a speci
fied length of time.
-j tition is that now we wilt never be
Said, 'My wife, this just pays her aole to write the joke we had planned
For nicking my razor, if ever ex-Congressman Dill of Wash
Now I've busted her best pickle fork." ington got pickled.
NEWS
JHE Evening Blade's a Democrat, the Scrap is G. 0.
and speaking upon politics they never do agree.
Democratic meeting in the Blade is "flowing o'er,"
Scrap will count a dozen or perhaps a couple more. And on
the other hand the Scrap, for a Grand Old Party fest. will
spread itself across the page, 'twill dp its very best. The
Blade will look with mighty scorn, as if it made it sick, and
will give the rival's meeting not more than half a stick.
jump on labor when it gets in politics and
wffl label all the workers just a bunch of Bolsheviks. And
talking of the farmers, each will fill a half a page with half
baked lies against the League, with malice, hate and rage.
The Biade and Scrap will both agree upon these points, for
sooth, but Ive never seen it happen that either tells the
truth. --C. w. V.
An organization has been formed to
distribute copies of the Constitution
of the United States. We are anxious
ly awaiting our copy to see if the
free speech clause is still in it.
4
President Wilson wanted to
keep the world safe for democ
racy. And now comes Governor
Edwards of New Jersey who
wants to keep the Democracy
safe for the distilleries.
YES, YES GO ON
"Ouija" is composed of the French
"oui" and the German "ja," both mean
ing "yes." Who says the war isnt
over? :'-taW
"Where are you going, iiiy pret^r
maid?"
"I'm going to vote, kind sir," she said.
wil1
you, perhaps, give a vote
to me?"
"Well, thafs for you to find out," said
... she.
Governor Edwards of New Jersey
and William Jennings Bryan seem to
disagree about whether Democrats de
serve the nickname of "Bourbons.''
%4
.v
Doctors may disagree, but there if('
& seems to be a surprising uniform
ity in the lay belief that whisky s?
will cure influenza. W
s?
There's one thing that can be said
in favor of running for president. It
certainly keeps one out in the open air.
ps "What did the candidate speak y-'.
about?" "Oh, about two hours fe
.£• and a half." ...,
£2:
JT
rr,
s'.'-j.ij1 'K
-r THE CROWN PRINCE HiS
St OFFERED TO GIVE HIMSELF
UP. FIGURING, PERHAPS,1
THAT HE'S BEEN IN DUTCH fe
LONG ENOUGH.
iZ.
Now that the f\rst Jewish ship has
been launched, there may yet be hope,
for the Swiss navy.
v.
j,' Germans are turning machine 5"
S guns into movie machines.' The
modem version of beating swords r-
A into plowshares. Si
Jf«
tti,
0
$ ^oun« Teddy doesn't seem as®
^"successful in keeping his name in 'M
a: the papers constantly as Ids flhn.1
trious father^
•h
One of the bad things about prohi-
A
the
"-S-
7
Jjf.