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Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, November 08, 1905, Image 6

Image and text provided by Minnesota Historical Society; Saint Paul, MN

Persistent link: https://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn89081022/1905-11-08/ed-1/seq-6/

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HOLLAND'S
DEBT
ITITCH. stitch. How busily the
bright needle darted in and out ot
pretty silk, catching some stray
sunbeams on its gleaming point—sun
beams that flickered first on the gilded
picture frames, then on the carpet's
wonderful blue roses, lastly on the
curly head of the little seamstress who
sat sewing near the window. The
casements were thrown wide open and
In with .the sunshine came whiffs ot
freshly mown lawns, sweet peas, and
syringa from the old-fashioned garden
outside.
The summer's beauty made the in*
ttutrioua worker sing lightly to her
self, though, heaven knows, there was
not much cause for song in little Cissy
Blackwood's life, unless it were that
•he was the belle of Moseley and had
the brightest brown eyes and the sun
niest cures you could wish for. And
it was not only the village boys who
discovered how charming and'refined
Cissy was and how melodious the
clear voice that was now daring to
carol within the gloomy walls of Hoi
land court.
Anstey Cheshurst, second son of the
widowed Lady Holland, found quite a
number of excuses which carried him
Into his mother's boudoir, where the
clever fingers made up elaborate toi
lettes for his women-folk. Ah! those
dresses, those hours of patient labor.
Many a month had Cissy waited, and
many a month more was she likely to
wait, for the money which was owing
to her.
Such a large sum that it was suffi
ciently alarming to cause another line
beneath Lady Holland's eyes as she
planned and plotted each wakeful
night on the difficult problem, viz,
how to keep up "appearances." rank,
'Holland court and a town residence on
next to nothing a year. True, her eld
est daughter was disposed of to a pen
niless young baronet—oh dear! that
trousseau, how the money did mount
tip—but there were still three damsels
for sale. So far their education, smart
dresses, and lack of wearying accom
plishments had failed to have the de
sired effect, and no one seemed dis
posed to pay Lady Holland as. a chap
eron, seeing what a difficulty she had
In settling' her own daughters.
Still, rich Miss Ingots, her present
Kuest, seemed undoubtedly impressed
with her unmarried, son, with his
handsome bearing and ready tongue.
His sole income, a legacy, was only
TH E TABLE SAT ANSTEY CHES
HURST.
•mall compared with the figures of the
lady's fortune, his "wild oats" ware,
well known in Moseley, but beauty
covers a multitude of sins, so Miss
Ingots approved of him. ramts and all.
So far. so good. But Anstey, well
•ware of his mother's intentions, took
wicked delight in alternately pet
ting and teasing the heiress, delaying
all efforts to secure this golden treas
ure with the most irritating coolness.
He knew quite well how to charm Miss
Ingots, and he knew equally well now
to fascinate pretty Cissy Blaekwood
until that simple maiden imagined
him to be the perfect ideal of manly
attraction. And Anstey enjoyed mm
•elf thoroughly, increased the numbet
of stolen interviews and looked down
admiringly at the lovely face that
brightened at his coming. He had al
ways preferred wild roses to gar
denias.
"You must not come and talk to me
any more, Mr. Anstey it would vex
her ladyship terribly if she found it
out Please keep away," said Cissy.
But her voice lacked emphasfs and
Anstey did" not keep away. Though
tolerably in awe of his lady mother he
thoroughly enjoyed stealing a march
on her and the sedate Miss Ingots,
who, poor thing, could not purchase*
Cissy's youth and sweetness—in spite
of the tempting advertisements—with
sdl her wealth.
Anstey was honorable enough to feel
tooth worried and Indignant on learn
ing the extent of his mother's debt
when Cissy confided to him how very
much she would like her money.
"I shall feel quite rich" then," «id
Cissy, Joyfully, "for I have' quite a lot
of money in the bank. You see, I have
nobody to spend it on, for I haven't _a
relation in all the world."
"Lucky little woman,'/ sighed Ans
tey.
"Ah, I don't know about that. You
like to belong to some one and feel
they care about vou."
._ "You know I care."
The remainder of that conversation
jwas incoherent.
"Your account shall*be settled '-n a
Week or two," my lady promised, with
she air of one who confers an unspeak
able benefit. "I have overlooked it for
quite a long time, but there have been
so many things to see to."
Perhaps It was the memory of a cer
tain face, the echo of whispered words
that caused the patient worker to wall
•till longer, planning fresh attire with
nnfalling cleverness" and success.
Even Miss Ingots In' her Parisian cre
ations locked overdressed and vulgar
Hands perfect taste and
Lady Holland's gowns, So thought my
lady herself as she glided, down the
passage to her boudoir—still, tor want
of space, a temporary workroom—and
her noiseless footsteps enabled her to
witness a very Interesting scene
within.
The halfopened door revealed Cissy
sitting idly at the table, a mass of
silk and chiffon lying untouched In her
lap as she listened eagerly to her com
panion's talk. On the table, perilously
near her ladyship's new bodice, sat
Anstey Cheshurst, leaning forward to
admire more fully the brown eyes that
watched him with such unfeigned ad
miration. I cannot actually declare
that my lady's hair stood on end, per
haps had It cost less it might havs
done so, but at any rate her eyes
flashed with indignant anger and her
bony fingers could have torn Cissy in
pieces with the greatest pleasure. It
would never, never do for Anstey to
flirt, however harmlessly, with this Ig-»
nominious little worker. (Lady Hoi*
land, a chemist's daughter, had gone
to the same school as Cissy's mother,
the daughter of a fanner). Goodness
only could conjecture what Miss In
gots might do If she ever suspected
such a thing. Anstey must be made
to see that amusement with the bour
geolse was too dangerous in their
present position—of course, she did
not consider for a moment .Cissy's
feelings in the matter. People of that
class, my lady said, were mercifully,
born without feelings. Certainly she
ought to have known. Anger quick
ened her .usually deliberate move
ments, but she was yet too slow to
prevent a scene that positively, par
alysed her. Anstey,-Jumping lightly
down from his undignified seat, said
a few loving words to Cissy and kissed
her dimpled chin with .ardor. $ His
mother shivered from head to foot
and glared at the unconscious pair
with helpless fury.
Her scapegrace son then quitted the
room as his mother swept in by the
second door nearly speechless with
wrath. It was a pity Anstey did not
look round before he closed the door
he little guessed .the tableau he left
behind him, and yet, Lady Holland,
what did you ever do that gave you
the rightHo look down at that shrink
ing little maiden with such scorn and
bitter contempt? I own she is a
foolish little creature, for she pays her
small bills regularly* helps those who
cannot repay her, and never wins
money by gambling with those who
cannot afford to lose. It certainly
could not have .been with any feeling,
of conscious merit that Lady Holland
frowned at the startled face, which
seemed to say: "I couldn't help it,
really I couldn't..^Please forgive, me."
"I witnessed your disgraceful con
duct with my son, MissJBlackwood.
You will have the goodness to col
lect your things instantly and leave
the: house. Your services are no
longer required."
The tone brought a vivid color into
Cissy's cheeks, and a curious,* rather
teasing, twinkle danced in the brown
eyes as she said iemurelyf "I was
going to tell your ladyship that I
could not come any more after to
day. I only came because of- tne
fact that your ladyship wanted this
dress for your grandchild's christen
ing."
"I would rather go in rags than keep
you a minute longer in this house."
"Certainly, your ladyship. And my
account?"
Itwas no use reviewing empty purses,
the money was not forthcoming, so
Lady Holland took refuge in righteous
indignation.
"Your account, indeed! After the
scandalous scene that has just taker,
place, I wonder you have the ef
frontery to ask me. You may con
sider yourself extremely lucky, Miss
Blackwood, if I do not warn every
body of your disgraceful conduct"
"And the equally unpardonable be
havior of your son," retorted Cissy,
facing the angry woman quite calm
ly. "But you are right about the
money, Lady Holland it has been
paid."
What did the girl mean? Was she
mad? Or had Anstey discovered the
debt and paid it? Hardly possible,
for Anstey and his mother were gen
erally in a state of petty warfare, and
her numerous debts were carefully
hidden-from hist critical eye.
"Perhaps you will have the good
ness to explain what you mean."
"When I said I was paid," explained
Cissy, "I did not mean it was paid
in money, but I have received what
is more' than its equivalent Cor
some time 1 hesitated out of respect
for you, but your treatment exhaust
ed my patience. I am all alone in the
world, so—so—I—"
"Finish your sentence. I have yet
to learn why Mr. Cheshurst troubled
himself in my affairs."
"Your son has paid me no money
he could not do so. Unworthy though
I am of the honor, I am your lady
ship's daughter-in-law. Anstey knew
it would be hopeless to Invite you to
our wedding, so we were married
quite privately at the Church of St
Andrew's yesterday. Gootf morning,
your ladyship."
Sew Chemical Wonder.
Zorene Is the new chemical wonder,
and it Is a wonder. Hungarla has
found it, and states through Prof.
Brunn that a piece of ordinary and
easily breakable slag, after immer
sion In the new liquid compound, de
fies the blow of a hammer. The same
effect was produced on ordinary brick
and on a block of red jarrah wood.
When immersed In water for a long
time none of the three when taken out
shows the slightest increase of weight
by the addition of moisture. Two
pieces of steel which had been soaked
In the liquid were submitted to an
ammonia test equal to five years' ex
posure to the air and emerged from
the bath as they entered It. Prof.
Brunn states that he can make roads
germ, dust and water proof from slag
which is now useless, and that he can
double the life of metals exposed to the
air.
Only a Bint.
Mr. X. Entrlck—See hero, young
man, all the other young fellows who
called to see Mabel before you never
stayed later than ten o'clock and—
Mr. Meanwell—Yes. sir.
"And I 'was going to say, if yon
don't stay until 11 o'clock at least
I'll take it that' your' intentions are
np more serious than theirs were."—*
cut of i.PJMladelDhia Ledger.
ni
r4jf,t'
PRACTICAL POINTS FOB BOYS
WITH AMBITION A N
GENIUS.
Construction of a Set ofVloor Shelves
in Modern Mission Style—A Table
Book-Back with Hinged Ends.
BY JAMES RITCHET.
(Instructor in Wood-Working and Pat
tern-Making-, Armour Institute •,
of Technology, Chicago.)
^Copyright. 1905. by Joseph B. Bowles.)
In Fig. 129 we gave a pleasing illus
tration, from an artistic point of .view,
of the advantage of breaking up the con
ventional straight lines In the hanging
book shelves, and in like manner Fig.
145 illustrates the same principle applied
to a set of(floor shelves, not only great
ly Improving their appearance, as com
pared with Fig. 124, but also adding to
their convenience in the arrangement of
books of different sizes on the upper
shelves.
The construction is in modern Mis-
Fig. 147.
sloh style, that is, the upper, middle and
lower shelves are mortised through the
sides and keyed, as shown in Fig. 145.
All the remaining shelves, and also the
three upright partitions, are doweled in
the manner explained under Figs. 116
and 117, five or six dowels flve-sixteentns
inch in diameter being used in each con
nection.
In Fig. 146 the plan for the front is
shown, Including dimensions and dis-
tances. At A in Fig 147 Is seen the de
sign and details for the sides, and at
a design for the base, which is glued un
der the front edge of the lower shelf.
In Fig. 148 at A an enlarged illustra
tion is given of the upper end of the
sides, with the lengths of the radii for
the different curves, and here again tho
design should be drawn on heavy draw
ing paper or cardboard, which, when
Koliere Under Nemesis.
Henceforth even the commemoration
tablet cannot be accepted as conclusive
evidence of the fact which. It records.
The discovery has- just been made,
says the London Globe, that there are
two houses in Paris marked with tab
lets relating that "in this hcuse Mo
liere was born." 3till worse, the*
Introduce confusion'as to the date of
that event, one of them stating it to
have taken place In 1620 and the other
in 1622. One of these houses is in the
Rue du Font Neuf and the other at a
corner of the. Rues St Honors and
eat *ut, can be used as a pattern with
which to mark out the sides ,- Thevupper
ends of the two curved openings are
1
R"
-±~.....
.#'
4,
I
U.Jk
Fig. 145.
1
Pig. 146.
seven-eighths inch in diameter and may
be bored out with a seven-eighths inch
center bit also a hole of the same size
In the middle opening, a)[ter which the,
remaining wood is easily removed with
either a compass or bow saw. At in
the same figure an end of one of the
47- --.~ ~.
Fig. 150.
*2**
shelves is given, with length and Width
of tenons v^ •,*-* -. s^ /--:"much
In Fig. 149 is illustrated the war in
which the hand screws are placed, which
must be used when gluing and clamping
the front base to the castor blocks and
to the under side of the lower shelf.
Before assembling the different parts
of this set of shelves, we wish again to
urge the necessity for removing all
marks' made by the rotary cutters of
the planing machine, with the hand
smoothing plane, and also all holes, torn
grain or defects of any kind, with the
scraper, before using sandpaper for
smoothing, polishing and finishing the
surface—bearing in mind always that
stain, filler, wax or varnish of any kind
will in every case exaggerate and bring
into prominence the slightest rough
ness or defect left in the surface of the
Sauval. Moliere seems to have had
uncommon ill-luck with his dates. It
Is not long since two houson In the
Rue Richelieu claimed to have been
that In which he died, and tho dispute
was only settled after difficult negoti
ation. There is dramatic nemesis
about the Idea of the father of French
comedy himself becoming a comedy of
errors.'.. ,'. **, .'
:''r'('
The Chinese Language.
About a third of the entire popula
tion of the1 world speak the Chinese
language or its allied dialects.
wood. These remarks will apply equal
ly to all articles illustrated .and de
scribed in these lessons.^'
1
eiea®
7
1
K'r
•„,
The case shown in Fig. 145 will look
well In mahogany color, but especially
so if made of, fine quartered oak and
stained and filled with .golden oak stain
and filler, after which it should be fin
ished with two coats of wax as described
in a former paper.
The stock list for the design shown in
Fig. 145 will be as follows:
2 pieces 53x8x%-sides.
3
Pieces36x7%xi-Shelf.
40%x7%x%-Shelves with tenons.
"ft
1 Piec doweled
'•%—Shelves, doweled,
2 pieces 9x7%x'„
1 piece 16V£x7%x%-8helf, doweled.
a^fed
y*X?Tk*~Uprl*ht Dartlt,on8'
*-Upright Partitions, dow.
£neClte?X2x5"16
0 8 on a
1 piece 40x2x5-16 or %-Ledges for 3 short
•helves.
4 Pieces SVixlVixlH-CastorWockB.
The table book rack illustrated in
Fig. 150 differs from the one given in
Fig. 128 only in having the ends hinged,
and is so fully illustrated by the draw
ings as to need no further description.
The stock list will be as follows:
1 piece 16x6x%-Base.
2 pieces 6x6z%—Ends.
TURTLE TRADING VESSEL
Small Schooner That Handles Catch,
of Canadian'Marshes Each
Season.
A more or less regular visitor at the
port of Erie each 3eason is the schoon
er Bertha Wallace, Capt. A. Winne.
She is only 35 feet over all and 11 feet
beam, and hails from Port Clinton,
Canada, says Forest and Stream. Her
only cargo is of turtles, that are car
ried in a squirming mass down in' the
hold. She made her first voyage for
this season a week ago, being later
this year than usual, as the turtles are
rather scarce yet^ Capt. Winne says,
but he expects to do better from this
out. He only had 2,800 pounds this
time.
These turtles are caught in traps set
in a marsh behind Long Point. Cana
da, nearly opposite Erie. The traps are
like fish nets and are baited with
fish. Capt. Winne has often as many
as 60 traps set. .They have to be
watched as carefully as an animal trap.
The captain has been in the business
now for 35 years he is a full cousin of
Postmaster General Wynne, though he
spells his name differently.
Thev turtles he brought over this
time would not average more than nine
pohnds each, though, a few of them
weighed 20 pounds. The largest one
he ever brought here weighed 60
pounds. It was kept in Erie to furnish
soup for the patrons of one of the
hotels.
These turtles when they arrive here
are turned over to a fish company,
which ships them all over the country,
a good many of them going to a com
pany in Ohio, which then ships them
east
To unload the turtles a man gets
down among them ID the hold, then
seizing each one by its tail, never by
its head, he gives it a quick fling that
lands it always on its back on the
dock here another man, taking a new
tail hold, throws it into a box, which
when it is full is nailed up and shipped
right off.
There is no duty to be paid on these
turtles they seem ?o have been for
gotten when the last tariff was made
up. They are not even protected.here
in the United States, at least not in
this state, though the frogs are.
Sleepless Fish.
There are several species of fish,
reptiles and insects which never sleep
during the whole of their existence.
Among fish it Is positively known (that
pike, salmon and goldfish never sleep
at all also that there are several
others in the fish family that never
sleep more than a few minutes a
month. There are dozens of species of
files which never indulge in slumber,
and from three to five species of ser
pents which also never sleep.
Historic Sapling.
The interesting sapling from Shake
speare's garden at Stratford-on-Avon.
presented by the mayor to Southwark,
and planted in front of the town hall,
Walworth road, last autumn, has not
survived the transplantation, and has
lately been removed. It was an offshoot
of the famous mulberry tree and was in
tended to commemorate the Shake
spearean connection between South
wark and Stratford-on-Avon.
But She May Wed Him.
The man who is trying to marry his
sixth wife usually has some difficulty,
however eloquent he may be, in making
the lady believe that he has never loved
before.—Somrville Journal.
Insinuation.
1 wish
would
Husband (during the spat)
you were some place where 1
never see you again.
Wife (calmly)—In other words, yon
wish I were In heaven, I suppose.—
Chicago Dally News. .,.
Sure Sign. ?,
She—I know there's something I've
forgotten 'to buy. f^
He—That's what I thought/ 4%
She—Why did,you think so? ""-**.
He—Because you have some money
left.—Stray Stories.
The Bad Boy Visits His Uncle's Gro
cery—He Soliloquizes on a Dying
Lettuce Leaf—They Discuss Navies
and Wars—"If You Want to Best,"
Says the Bad Boy, "Don't Go
Abroad."
BY HON, GEORGE W. PECK
(Ex-Governor of Wisconsin, Formerly Ed
itor "PecK's sun," Author "Peck's
Bad Boy," Etc.)
(Copyright. 1905, by Joseph B. Bowles.)
The old groceryman was in front of
the grocery in his shirt sleeves, with
a watering pot in his hand, trying to
brace up some wilted lettuce that had
•een better days. After all attempts
had failed and the lettuce laid down
in its bed with an appealing look, as
much as to say: "Don't inject any
thing, but let me die a natural death,"
the old man acted as though he
thought the end had come. He had
Just taken qU. his hat, and was gaz
ing at his dying patient, when the
bad boy came up, and. with an under
taker look on his face, he took his
hat and fanned the lettuce, and said:
•'Friends who desire to take a last look
at the deceased may pass in the front
door, and retire by the back door. No
flowers burial private."
"Now, what you want to butt in here
for, when I am having all this 'JOU
pie?" said the old man, as he potred
out the remaining water in the
sprinkler on the dying salad material
"That is where the profits go. W&en
I bought that lettuce at the commis
sion .house-day before yesterday, it
was bright and crisp, with dew drops
on the leaves, and it crackled vliec I
handled It, and look at it now, us lim
ber as a starched collar at a pienje.
and it wouldn't stand up if it were
crutches. Gee, but 1 had a patent
on something that would keep lettuse
crisp until it was sold. I wouldn't wa-jt
no gold mine," and the old man threw
the' watering pot on the floor, aid
sighed.
"Well," said the bad boy, as he tried
a few strawberries off the top of a
box, "trying to rejuvenate wilted let*
tuce is like putting false hair, or hair
dye, on an old woman's head, an£
putting oriental cream and powder oti
"NOW. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BUTT
IN HERE FOR?" SAID THE OLD
MAN.
her face, and false teeth and plumpers
in her**mouth to make her cheeks
plump, and penciling her eyebrows, to
make her look young and kitteny. She
is the same old lady, and saltpeter
won't save her, and make her young
and crisp'again a piece of human
wilted lettuce."
"Do you know," said tne old man,
as he took a piece of wrapping paper
to wipe a drop of molasses off the
bosom of his white shirt, "I am one of
the greatest thinkers in this coun
try, and I sit here when there
are no customers in the store,
and do nothing but just think!
and it worries me the way things are
running, not only in this country, but
everywhere in the world. Look at
the money that is wasted in these
sham battles, at target practice in
the navy, and this 'ere 'attack on
Washington,' by the army and navy
playing war. Gosh durn it, why con't
we discharge the army, and tie up the
navy to hitching posts, and wait till
a real war comes on, and then rally
from the east and from the west, and
sock it to the enemy," and the old man
took a brush and dusted off the coun
ter.
"Say, you only think you are think
ing when you get that way," said the
bad boy. "Some people sit and
twirl their thumbs, and say nothing,
and look serious, and have lines on
their faces, and they look wise, and
think it amounts to something, but it
Is only indigestion, and when your
stomach does not work, the brain sort
of effervesces, and when you turn on
the talking switch and say something.
It is like opening a bottle of root beer,'
cause it is all froth, and when it has
stopped foaming It is nothing but a
wet place on the floor, that smells of
sasparilla. You are one of these root
beer thinkers, with a string, over your
cork, and if nobody cuts the string,
you finally get sour, and if the string
is cut, it is all over as soon as the
yeast 4s (exhausted. You talk about
the expense of target practice. Why,
nowadays a navy, to be any good, has
to be able to, hit a fly with a 16-inch
shell, on the turret of a battleship
seven miles away, with a heavy sea
on, and the only way is to keep shoot
ing, and then when a war comes the
enemy will keep off the grass. See?
"You would like to have our javy
like the Russians', tied up to save ex
pense, the sailors ashore, drunk, and
the gunners so full of vodka that they
are cross-eyed, and when the whistle
blows, and they come aboard to get
acquainted with the ship, they be
come seasick, and can't hit a single
cruiser, but have to wait till the en
emy gets tato flocks, like a boy shoot
ing ducks. Look at those little Japs.
Their eyes are put in slanting, and
you would thmk they would shoot
around a corner, but when vhey get
braced behind a gun, and take aim,
and.pull the dingus, the rolling mill
that they fire at the enemy hits it in
the solar plexus, and anybody that Is
alive when the explosion comes jumps
overboard and drowns. So we want
Kw*.#nifib* wtb
0implft Htf
By DR. EDWARD A ROSS,
Professor of Sociology, University of
Pennsylvania.
yet half the children die before they are five years old. Over 39 per
cent. o( the men marry under 20 years of age, and nearly 75 per cent, of
the women marry before that age. The result is a vast horde of people,
ignorant and unenlightened, that is constantly spread out over other
countries, seeking relief and carrying war with them. Russia figura
tively is buried alive.
Women's rights and the higher education of women is one of the
main causes of the decrease in the rate of birth. Women have been
admitted into the universities, and nearly every career to which men
are admitted is open to them. The professions are more attractive than
marriage, as it has been to some within their experienc. The remedy
for too great a reduction in the birth rate lies in the woman, but it is
not in closing the professions against her, but in showing her that she
is more- capable of motherhood than any profession.
In this young men must play an important part they must make
home life more attractive to women than the professions. Statistics
show that the families of college graduates are decreasing every year,
and if the rate keeps up there will soon be no one to attend them.
along, 'amuse you don't know what mo
ment.some nation is going to mix"
"But what's the use of seeping
shooting at a mark all the time, by the
army fellers?" said the old man, with
a tired look. "Now, when the rebel
lion broke out, we didn't know how
to shoot, but we got there, just the
same."
"Yes, In about five years you got
so you*could hit a confederate regi
ment/ If it stood still, but you couldn't
hit anybody on the wing," said the.
bad boy. "They issued guns to you
and you looked them over as, though
they, were to be cut up into teaks,
and fried, and when you were void how
to shoot, and fired into the air,
the old gun kicked you over, and
kicked you after you were down, and
broke a rib, and dislocated a shoulder.
When you got out of the hospital you
wanted to be detailed as company
cook, or nurse in the hospital, and they
could never get you near a gun again
for years, and when you did shoot
again at the enemy, you pulled the
trigger with your eyes shut, and run
away from the recoil, and never hit a
rebel, and it took eight carloads of
lead' to kill one' man. Now it UB dif
ferent, and the little guns the army
uses don't kick, and they shoot a little
bullet three miles, and when the bul
let hits a man he is paralyzed until
the battle Is over, and you cave got
to pick out a spot on a man, and hit
it, or be fined by the sergeant. That
is what it means to be up to date with
an army or a'navy. You got to hit
the bull's-eye, and not the surround
ing country. The time for hunting
elephants with bird shot has passed,
and you got to blow 'em up jrith dy
namite, see?
"The boy Who can hit a fly on the
wall with a bean shooter is the com
ing soldier, and you old jays that sit
around and kick about expense of
teaching our army and navy to hit
things they cannot see without a tele
scope ought to be sent to an asylum
for incurables."
"Now that you and your dad have
traveled all over^ Europe, and kept
your eyes and ears open, what do you
think is the best place for a man to
go who is tired of his own country,
and wants to settle down somewhere
and enjoy peace, and quiet, for the
balance of his life, without work, and
no feeling that he is liable to wake
up some morning and find that lie is
in the midst of a war. What coun
try would you advise an elderly man
to go to, who wants to get away from
trouble, and just enjoy every day of
the balance of his life?" said the old
man, with a peaceful look, as though
he was seeking a heaven upon earth.
"Well, by ginger, you have got me,"
said the bad boy, trying to think ef
the most peaceful place he visited
while abroad. "The fact, is, we were
not looking particular for quiet,
peaceful places, but for excitement and
rush, .and trouble, and we got it, pure.
I had thought that in Norway and
Sweden one^could get plenty of peace,
sliding down hill in winter, on skis
and toboggans, but since we got home
I see that Norway has seceded from
Sweden, and they have got to fight, so
I wouldn't go there. Ireland is about
as beautiful a country as one could
wish to be in. but in the cities every
body is rich, and they live high and
THE SAILORS SO FULL OP VODKA
THAT THEY ARE CROSS-EYED.
fast, but in the country the people are
hungry, and they live on potatoes, and
hope for a remittance from some mem
ber of the family who is making more
than a living in good old America,
while the young men and :Jie girls
are all packing up to go away to the
land of the free, and before you could
get there and get settled down there
would be nobody left in Ireland but
the very old men and women, who
would talk to yon of nothing but the
boys and girls in far-away America,
and whqa they found that you had left
America to come to Ireland and en
joy yourself, they would take you for
a lunatic and have you sent to an asy
lum.
"In England you would be all right
if you had money enough to buy an
estate and raise race horses, but if
you won money at the races they
would cut your acquaintance, and if
you lost your money, they would con
sider you a good fellow until your
money was gone, and then they would
make you move on. In France you
A decreased Birthrate
doesnot mean destruction
ef the race. Call it race
suicide if we will. It is
a high birth rate that is
a Russia
proves it. There the
birth rate is barbarous,
go to the Keeley cure, and then it
would be all off. in Italy you would
have to learn to play a tune on a
macaroni instrument, and eat cotton
seed oil from America, disguised with
an olive oil label, with every man and
woman carrying a butcher knife and
in Germany you would have to be on
dress parade, and raise a beer stomach
that you would have to wheel around
on a wheelbarrow. Come to sum it
all up, my advice to you would be to
go to Zion City, give all your money
to Dowie, and take a hand-out of
bread and beans occasionally, and try
to look pleasant."
The bad boy paused. The old
groceryman had listened with^rcat in
terest
"Say," he sanfe after a minute,
"where is your dad going next trip?
AN THE OLD GUN'KICKED TOTJ
OVER.
Seems as though he would want to
stay at home long enough to change
his shirt"
"Don't have to change your shirt
when you travel," said the boy. as he
slipped an imitation snake into the
side pocket of the old groceryman's
sack coat "But our next move will
be chasing ourselves around ou~ na
tive land. Pa's going to join the cir
cus."
"Gee!"saidtheold groceryman, "write
to me, won't you?" "Sure."said the bad
boy,"I will write you. Good-by. You are
a good thing. Push yourself along,"
and the bad boy went out to pack np
for another journey.
MILLIONS ARE SENT HOME.
Immigrants from Austria-Hungary
Sent Over $48,000,000 in
Ten Years.
The immigrants to the United States
from Austria-Hungary have sent back
to that country in the ten years between
1894 and 1903 more than $48,000,000. Of
this vast sum the immigrants from
.Hungary sent back 131,132.080, while
those from Austria sent to their rela
tives $16,982,980. In 1894 the amount
sent back by the immigrants of both
countries was $1,327,620. This had
grown in 1903 to $10,556,000 in fact
there has been a steady increase since
1894.
In addition to the sums sent into the
country through what are known in
Austria as "home banks" from Amer
ica each year, a large amount is remit
ted through American banks without
the intervention of Austrian or Hun
garian institutions, or in cash or postal
money orders. The entire amount re
ceived in Austria-Hungary in 1903 from
emigrants that had left that country
for other countries was $32,778,004.
It is estimated that the Italian immi
grants in the United States send back
to their homes annually a sum equal to
about $30,000,000. An Indication of the
importance of remittances so made is
found in the business,of Italian postal
savings banks with savings institutions
for Italians In foreign countries. But
the full amount sent into Italy cannot
be kept track of in this way. for it is
well known that considerable amounts
are sent in paper money by registered
mail or are brought into the country by
returning immigrants. Fraudulent
banking concerns have caused great
losses to Italian immigrants, both In
this and other countries in the yast
These were usually run by Italians.
To prevent all this an act was passed
in Italy in 1901 authorizing the Bank
of Naples to take charge of remittances
from emigrants, thus guaranteeing
them safety and regularity in the trans
mission of their money^This bank has"
since established correspondence offices
for the management of emigrant bus!-?
ness, there being 86 of these offices at
the close of 1903. A recent bill in the
Italian parliament, providing for the
appointment of resident agents in for
eign countries to manage the remit
tances- of Italians failed to pass.
This immense amount of money flow
ing into Italy annually from its emi
grants has already had a marked in
fluence in improving condition's of liv-
iff^i
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