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MAN OF APPETITE.
AN AWFUL ORDEAL FOR A DYSPEP
TIC LITTLE LAWYER.
Went Into the Restaurant Joat to Have
Few Oysters—Met Mr. Grnmp, the
Brewer, Who Was Lunching- a little
Before Going Home to Snpper.
"There used to be a famous place for
these things down in Atlanta," re
marked the portly gentleman as he cau
tiously eyed the Welsh rabbit and sip
ped his mnsty ale.
"Why, don't these suit you?" asked
the man who had never traveled.
"Oh, yes, fine, but I was just think
ing of a little incident that occurred
"A story, is it? WelL let's have it."
"It's not much of a story, but I will
tell it the best I can. Ton see, the place
I spoke of was kept by a man named
Beirmister and was not only famous
for its Welsh rabbits, but for its oysters
and hard crabs as well. Delicious they
"There was a dyspeptic little lawyer
around town, sharp and shrewd, but a
martyr to the stomach. He used to go
around with the boys until some one
would suggest going over to Beirmister's
and getting some crabs and beer then
you could count the lawyer out. The
boys would try to persuade him by
telling him how delightful were the
crabs, how succulent the oysters, but
the lawyer would flee from them in ter
ror at the thought.
"Abont 5 o'clock one fine afternoon
in the early spring a friend and myself
were journeying toward Beirmister's
when we met the dyspeptio lawyer. As
usual, he stopped us for a little chat,
and we walked down the street together.
In a few moments we were front of
Beirmister's, and my friend, taking a
different tack, persuaded the little law
yer to enter with us on the plea that
we would find no one in at this time of
day and that we were only going to eat
a few oysters.
"Once inside, we found the place
crowded. The seats at the tables were
all occupied, except at one table, over
in a far corner of the room, at which
t-here were three vacant chairs, the
fourth being occupied by a fat German
brewer named Grump. We knew Grump,
and so went to this table. I introduced
the lawyer—JJlakely, I believe his name
was—to the brewer and ordered b8er
for the crowd. The lawyer protested, so
we left him out.
'Mr. Grump,' I remarked, 'we are
about to have a few oysters. Won't you
'Veil, you see, I have alretty some
'Oh, that's all right,' I insisted. 'A
few oysters will give you an appetite.'
'"Is dot so? Yah, I take me a few—
chust von leetle dozen.'
"My friend had been engaged in an
earnest conversation with the lawyer
while I was talking to the jolly old
German, and when the waiter came
with the beers he told him to bring
some crabs, "&% dozen oysters on the
shell and a glass of hot water. He had
persuaded Blakely to try some oysters.
"At Beirmister's when an order was
given for crabs they invariably brought
a dozen, and you paid for as many as
you consumed out of that number. The
waiter soon returned with oysters, crabs
and hot water. In the meantime Grump,
who was a great talker, had struck up a
conversation with the lawyer, and they
were cracking jokes at a great rate.
Blakely's courage fell when the oys
ters were placed before him. He man
fully drank the hot water and com
menced to imitate Grump's heroic style
of eating oysters. He managed to down
two and then laid his fork gently by
his plate and fastened his eyes on
Grump. With the aid of a few' glassfuls
of beer the brewer's oysters had van
ished. My friend had managed to get
away with two crabs and insisted that
Grump help him dispose of the re
mainder. I was still busy with my
'Vell,I help you some,' said Grump,
and picking up a knife he went at those
crabs like a darky shucking oysters.
The dyspeptio watched him as if fasci
nated and remarked in a sneering tone
that came straight from the stomach:
'You have a good appetite, Mr.
'Yah, I t'ink pretty goot,' and he
actively went for another crab. Th6
dish was cleared in a few moments, and
I made a mental note that Grump had
eaten nine crabs, a dozen large oysters,
and drank ten glasses of beer. When the
crabs were no more, Grump called to a
'Here, Franz, I am waiting.'
"Franz disappeared, and in a few
moments brought in a large Welsh rab
bit and deposited it before Grump. I
could see the little lawyer shrink from
the odor wafted across the table, but he
was game and would have staid at thai
table until he died. Grump insisted that*
we share the dish with him, but all
'With apparent relish and a fresh
glass of beer he attacked the rabbit,
and man incredibly short time the dish
was clear of the least particle. Grump
wiped his mouth, folded his napkin,
and called for another round of beers.
If I had not had a reputation to sustain,
I would have refused, but as it was we
drained the glasses.
'Now, I must home be going,' re
marked Grump, rising.
'What's your hurry?' asked the dys
peptic lawyer in his most sarcastic tones.
'Do stay and have something else.'
'Nein. I must to mein supper go,'
answered the German.
'The dyspeptic wilted. Now, if you
are looking for a fight, just tell that lit
tle lawyer that Grump wants him to
eat supper, with him. You'll get it
quick and strong."—Washington Post.
De Quincey, who devoted his life to
the reading of books, said that the great
est number of books any one man could
hope to get through within man's a)
lotted time was 8,500.
TIMING BIG PROJECTILES.
•ow Their Initial Velocity Is Calculated
In Tests at Sandy Hook.
To the layman oneof the interesting
features in a big gun test is the method
by which the initial velocity of the
projectiles is calculated. When he hears
that the modern high power guns often
expel a shot at an initial velocity of
2,000 feet a second, a rate that if sus
tained would mean a mile in three sec
onds, he realizes the difficulty of calcu
lating the speed. An ordnance officer
must have accurate knowledge of the
velocity of a projectile, that he may pre
dict its range and penetration and de
termine the accuracy of the gun. It is
a comparatively easy matter, however!
with the new instruments to calculate
accurately the initiaivelocity of a pro
jectile, and any one who is fortunate
enough to visit Sandy Hook when big
guns are being tested may see how it is
Two open frames are set up 150 feet
apart in front of the gun. Wires are
stretched back and forth across these
frames, making a screen through which
the shot must pass. The wires in each
screen form a complete electrio circuit,
which includes also an electrio battery
and an electro magnet. The projectile,
after leaving the gun, flies throngh the
wire in the first screen, interrupting the
circuit and releasing the armature of
the magnet. In a space of time so small
as to be hardly conceivable the projec
tile has covered the distance between
the two frames and pierced the wire in
the second, interrupting its electrio cur
rent »and releasing the armature of its
magnet, as in the first case. The inter
val between the drop of these two ar
matures represents the time spent by
the projectile in traveling 150 feet.
This time is indicated by the chrono
graph in the laboratory near by. Wires
run from each screen to the laboratory,
which is fitted up with batteries and
The armature of the first electro mag
net is an iron rod about 3 feet long,
which is suspended vertically. This rod
falls when the second electro magnet is
placed a little below the first, and when
it is released it acts as a knife, and,
striking the side of the falling rod,
makes a slight mark. The distance of
this cut or mark from the end of the rod
indicates the distance through which
the rod has dropped while the projectile
is passing from one screen to another.
This forms the unit for the calculation
of the projectile's velocity in feet per
second. New explosives and high power
guns have increased the initial velocity
of projectiles wonderfully in the last
few years. Projectiles may be expelled
now with a force that will make them
effective at a range far beyond ordinary
eyesight.—New York Sun.
Naming a Burmese Baby.
A Burmese baby when a fortnight
old is named. On the auspicious day,
which the astrologer has selected, there
is a feast to which relatives and friends
have been invited. The baby's head is
washed for the first time, and his name
is chosen. An English lady residing in
Burma describes the process of select
ing the name:
The limits of the choice are deter
mined by the day of the week upon
which he was born. Burmese custom
divides the letters of the alphabet
among the days of the week, and a
child born on Monday must receive a
name initialed by one of the letters he
longing to that day.
Ka, kha, ga, gha, nga, Taninla
Sa, hsa, za, zha, nya, Amga.
Ta, tha, da, dha, na, Sanay,
is the beginning of a jingle which every
Burmese child learns, as you and I
learned, "Thirty days hath September,
April, June and November."
A child born on Taninla (Monday)
must have a name beginning with "k,"
"g" or "n," and when he is old
enough to go to the pagodas the nature
of the offering he carries, or rather its
shape, is determined by the day of his
Each day of the week is under the
protection or subject to the fury of
some animal. The tiger rules Monday,
and a Burman born on Monday will
offer to Gautama a candle shaped like a
tiger and fashioned of scarlet or of yel
low wax. Tuesday belongs to the king
of beasts, Wednesday is the tusked ele
phant's, Thursday is sacred to the rat
and Friday to the guinea pig. The drag
on dominates Saturday, and Sunday is
dedicated to another fabulous creature,
half bird, half beast.—Youth's Com
Wanted a Meal.
"Several days ago," says the Ohio
State Journal, "Congressman Watson
sent several large sacks of flower and
garden seeds home for distribution
among his constituents. The papers an
nounced this fact, and for three days
past there has been a constant stream of
persons coming to the' congressman's
law office in Columbus. On Saturday a
man came up and asked for beans. He
was given two packages. He demurred
to this and reached over into the sack
and began to fill his pockets. When
called down by the attendant, the lover
of beans said: 'I haven't got enough
for a mess yet. It takes more than a
quart of beans to make a mess for my
From the xfestoffice. *t ..-
The Visitor—My man, what are you
in the pemtentiary*for?
The Gentleman In Stripes^-Collectin
The Visitor Collecting stamps?
Why, what is wrong in that? •&%
The Gentleman In Stripes—NothiT
but dey said I ought to have took the
canceled ones only.—Cincinnati Com
mercial Tribune. *M
Wine bottles are best cleaned with
charcoal, broken in small pieces, and a
little powdered charcoal left in bottles
for a day or two will effectually remove
any unpleasant odor. A*
Honesty is a warranto! far moresafe
ty than fame.—Owen Felltham.
CASAN, W E TARTAR DWARF.
A, Fierce IdtUe Mongolian Who lived
V^J' Centuries Ago.
In the series of papers on "Historio
Dwarfs," in St Nicholas, Mary Shears
Roberts describes the, famous Casan.
Mrs. Roberts says:
Casan was the name of a little Mon
gol Tartar who flourished in the early
part of the thirteenth century.
He was born in the' eastern part of
Asia, not far from the ancient city of
Earakorum. His parents belonged to
one of the barbarian hordes that owed
allegiance to Genghis Khan, and Casan
became a fierce though small warrior
and fought bravely under, the banner of
the great and mighty Mongol conqueror.
The exact height of this little dwarf
is unknown. He was certainly not over
three feet tall, but he was active and
muscular and, like all his race, could
endure hunger, thirst, fatigue and cold.
The Tartars were unexcelled in the
management of their beautiful horses.
The fleetest animals were trained to
stop short in full career, and to face
without flinching wild beast or formi
dable foe. Casan was a born soldier, and
at an early age became expert in all the
exercises that belonged to a Tartar edu
cation. He could manage a fiery courser
with great skill and could shoot an ar
row or throw a lance with unerring
aim, in full career, advancing or re
Like many of those small in stature,
be was anything but puny in spirit
and while yet a lad he gathered about
him a troop of wild young Tartar boys
as reckless and daring as himself, of
whom by common consent he became
leader. He commanded his lawless
young comrades with a strange mixture
of dignity and energy, and they obeyed
his orders with zeal and willingness.
Sometimes they would go on long hunt
ing expeditions, seldom failing to lay
waste any lonely habitation they hap
LOOKS LIKE A BEAR.
A Diminutive Animal That Ton Can Find
He really looks very much like a
bear, though you must put him under a
powerful microscope^ to see the resem
blance. The extraordinary thing, how
ever, about this tiny creature is that he
is found in the gutters of houses, where
he is at one time dry as dust and scorch
ed by the blazing sun, at another active
and full of life under a refreshing
shower of rain.
The water bear is one of the Rotifer
animalcules, and is of all of them the
most capable of standing any extremes
of temperature without giving up the
ghost. He may be left dried up for
months, even years, and yet on being
put into water will expand and begin
moving about and feeding vigorously.
Although he cannot stand boiling wa
ter, he will live in dry heat at a far
higher temperature, even up to 260
degrees F. One has actually,been kept
in vacuum for 80 days with sulphuric
acid and chloride of calcium without
losing his capability of revivification.
As for the reason why, it seems the
little beasts' bodies are chiefly com
posed of albumen, which, it is well
known, will stand a very high temper
ature without losing its solubility.
Then, too, they are provided with two
skins, one over the other, and these
skins are wonderfully tough and elastic.
The water bear has the scientific
name of tardigrade, because he takes
life so easy. He is always fat and
plump and spends his waking periods
in constantly grubbing with his four
pairs of legs among whatever rubbish
comes in his way. Having eyes, brain
and a nervous system, he is much ahead
of his tribe, and is altogether one of the
most interesting and amusing little ani
mals known to science.—London Tit
A certain professor in one of the lead
ing schools of this city was not long
since desirous* of incorporating some
negro dialect in a story he was prepar
ing. Not being very well versed in their
manner of speech, he bethought him
that it would be a good idea to studfer
ihe language in its purity undefiled.
With this end in view he betook himself
to the vicinity of the Union depot, near
which representatives of the ebon race
are always to be found.
One effort was enough. Meeting a
coal black negro driving a wagon rather
well loaded and accosting him as
"Uncle John," the following brief dia
"Pretty heavy load, uncle. Can you
get up the hill with it'?'
"I do not know, sir, but I presume
Such an example of pure and unde
filed English coming from such an un
expected source almost paralyzed the
professor, who muttered something
about the "degeneracy of the modern
negro," and, mentally deciding to con
sult the works of "Uncle Remus,"he
retraced his steps to his apartments.
,-' Photographing the Arteries.
After much study and painstaking an
artery in the arm of an adult has been
photographed. The patient had been
suffering from some trouble in the arm
Which the physicians were unable to
correctly diagnose. By means of the
rays deposits of lime salts in the blood
were clearly shown, and the case was
treated in accordance with the facts
elicited by the photographing as de
scribed.—New York Ledger.
Clothes and Credit.
When a man realizes that he can't
pay his debts and has got to ask for an'
extension of time, the "first thing fox
him to do is to go to a fashionable tailor
and get him a new suit of clothes.
Creditors are seldom lenient with a
seedy man.—Somerville Journal.^
in South Africa feat the sec-
retary bird and will even, crawl away
from its shadow. This bird can eaaUy
RECLUIRES NO COOKING.
HAKES COLLARS AMD CUFFS STIFF AMD NICE
AS 1 EI FIRST BOUGHT MEW.
ONE POUND O
E THIS STARCH WILL 60
AS FARAS A POUND AND A HALF
,L °a.C.HUBIN6ER BROS C?
dence and respect before we take
ONE DOLLAR OP YOUR
MONEY. THAT TRUSS
ELASTIC STARCH has been befoie the people of the United States for twenty
three years, and is without doubt the greatest starch invention of the Nineteenth
Century. Last year its sales reached, the unprecedented number of twenty million
packages. It is prepared upon scientific principles by men who have had years of
practical experience in fancy laundrying. It makes ironing easy, restores old sum
mer dresses to their natural whiteness, and imparts to linen a beautiful and lasting
finish. It is the only starch manufactured that is perfectly harmless, containing
neither arsenic, alum or any other substance injurious to linen, and can be used even
for a baby powder.
DOES AL KINDS OF
ID the English and German Languages,
promptly and neatly executed
You can resume your work in
15 minutes after your treatment.
We know many have been swin-
dled by rupture cures so called.
We propose to earn your confi-
Drs. Graham & Breck .—
?4* «H' -*J ^?w,.g Site.? *-& HA/U
*r|Costs no morethan inferior package soda—
never spoils the flour, keeps soft, and is uni
versally acknowledged purest in the world.
Hade only bj CHURC fc CO., New York, w$
Salt 1y grocers everywhere.
Write for Arm and Hammer Book of valnable Bocipe*—FREE.
Of Men, Women and Children permanently cured without pain or the slightest inconvenience by the FIDELITY
METHOD. Every case guaranteed. Patients need not pay a dollar until completely cured. CONSULTA
HLMullen, PresJJ} J. H-Vajen, V. I*.* W. F. Seiter, Cash. W.JB. Koch, Asa't.
Directors: H. Vajen, Geo. Doehne. W. Boesch, F,
iiveaoii *nd Jf.Hnlleii.
1 individual responsibility of the ST stockholders is $2,00O,
WE CAN CURE YOU IN FROM 30 TO 60 DAYS.
WE WANT NO MONEY UNTIL YOU ARE CURED, AND WE MEAN JUST WHAT WE SAY.
FRANK H. WRAY, M. D.
Inventor Fidelity Rupture Cure.
I have been ruptured for twelve yeais, have tried other treatments with no benefit.
DELITY METHOD in three treatments r"can now lift and strain without inconvenience.
Mankato Minn., June 29th. 1896.
W\ AflilHAMK SOD
To People that are afflicted withJ3ernia, in Freeborn County and surrounding country.—
I have taken the Fidelity Rupture Cure of Dr, Breck at Albert Le* and have been fully cured of my rupture which
was of l«ng standing. I can recommend to all that are similarly afflicted that they can be cured by this process. I have
not lost any time and have worked upon my faim as usual, all of the time that I have been taking the treatment it is al
most painless and safe, my general health has unproved from being cured, and I would not be placed back in my former
condition for ten times the cost it has been to me.
Freeborn. Minn., Nov. 6th. 1896. F. D. Drake-
CALL ON OR ADDRE88 DR. 6 F. BEACHLER.
Crone, O. Jf.Olsen Wm,
Best Quality of Goods. Ijfl
SIS! Best Workmanship,
Repairing and Cleaning Suits also
promptly attended to. /^pf
One of the nicest establish
ments in the city. Fleasanfc^|
rooms and nice surroundings. 1
Beer of the purest quality.
Sold in quantities to suit the
uurcbaser, and also in bottles
^T The ladies of New Ulm should
bear in mind that we lead in
,*, millinery goods of all kinds.
HATS and BONNETS.
'VELVETS and SILKS.
FEATHERS and FLOWERS.
A complete line of each always kept
on hand. Also fancy work, stamped pat
terns and ribbons. In embroidery work
and fine yarns we carry a particularly
fine line. MRS. SARAH PFEFFERLE
Dayton sells the Celebrated Cot
tage Organ with the largest and
best Organ Co. in the World to back
their warranted goods. Sold on east
terms and cheap for cash or on shor
time. Pianos sold on the monthly iny
stallment plan. The Conover,the World's
Favorite, is made by theChicago Cottage
Organ Co. and built by Conover Bros,
het best piano builders in America.
No operation. No pai». No-
danger. No loss of time during
treatment, which is once a week.
11,000 CASES CURED
IN TnE LAST SIX YEARS
WITHOUT A SINGLE FAIL
URE OR BAD RESULT.
AGE MAKES NO DIFFER-
ENCE WITH THE FIDELI
TY RUPTURE CURE.
Was cured by you by the FI-
Geo. P. Giiebel,
New Harness Shop!
I Will keep on hand a complete assort
ment of light and heavy
tea everything that pertains to the sadd
Fine custom work^ a specielty. 1 in^
vite an inspection of my goods from the
public. 4 ^OH»r KRBTSCH Jr.
In .the Kaschan Building.
*AV* next ft) Krook's stored
Minnesota St^SS^ilP- New Win.
S All kinds of dresses made after the
latest styles and fashion plates. We
aim to do the work that will give satis
faction. Instructions also given in dressy
EMMA & ANKA SCHAEFEB
on Geo. Daytdn and buy anew
Singer Sewing Machine—the only
genuineSinger made* Do not be misled
by otherj dealers, as there is only one,
genuinefinger made and
s%^xx *. •*%*&.